Dog Ate My Finances

Applied for Health Insurance

2009-07-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

COBRA is killing my budget, so I'm going to try for the scary, scary free market. I gathered up every Rx bottle and went over every EOB to make sure I could disclose everything I knew about our mid-20s health.

I have asthma and about the mildest inhaler possible that I don't even use. Senor Dog got a cream for some eczema last year. We had a few antibiotics, some birth control, and that's it. I put it all on the form. It was surprisingly hard, and we have practically nothing.

The plan I applied for is $200/month with a 10K family deductible. That means if I land in the ER again or we get in a car wreck, we're out 10K. In that case, we're slightly worse off than COBRA. Assuming our average use, heck, even our above average use from the ER, it will be cheaper.

I was surprised I was upset about maternity. Heck, I plan on adopting, not getting knocked up, so I'm not sure why losing maternity knocks the wind out of me. I guess it feels like closing a door (for now) that I couldn't control. Rationally, I know this plan covers pregnancy complications, and that L&D is only a couple grand anyway, so we would still come out ahead. But I still feel kind of sad that there's no baby for now.

There's a lot of other stuff it just doesn't cover. Rx drugs have something like $500/year -- after your deductible. It doesn't cover suicide or cutting or mental health or nuclear accidents or war injuries. I guess if I get attacked in a war and need Rx drugs and counseling, I'm screwed.

Health Insurance is a Rip-Off

2009-07-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

I've been digging through my COBRA trying to find every doctor I've ever visited and everything I've ever been prescribed to apply for private health insurance. Of course, they don't tell you that, then it would be too easy.

I did find my benefit descriptions, with all the EOBs from all my doctors. Remember when they only paid my gyno $125? They paid the plain old doctor $60 when I had a bad cold. $60!!! What am I paying $1200/month for???

The only actual use of my health insurance was my trip to the ER with the initial bill at more than 12K. With that included, my lifetime benefits in the last three years on this plan are 8K. Without the ER, it would be pretty much nothing. That makes me want to puke. What am I (and previously my employer) paying $600/month for?

Why can't I just pay the $60 to go to the doctor and get insurance for cancer or a car accident or something like Morrison says in her comments? Heck, I'd even pay the 6K ER bill if I could self-insure it.

A New Place?

2009-07-15T11:45:00.001-07:00

A friend offered to let us rent out his townhouse while he's in Dubai for a year. It would be a little more rent, but it's a way, way nicer place. Granite, garage, huge closets, insane kitchen.

In many ways, the neighborhood is even better than our current neighborhood. Places are even more expensive, land is worth even more. The bars are fancy, there's a gourmet cheese shop, there's sushi and chic nightclubs and fancy wine shops.

One problem. The Section 8 complex across the street. It's huge, and it's been there at least 10 years. When the developers put it in, the proposal assumed the place would be destroyed in 20 years, and they aren't far off. There was nothing there then, but since then a bunch of fancy bars and townhouses have taken over.

When he first moved in, someone would come turn on his hose so the water ran all night (who would do that?!), and he had to put a water control thing in the garage. The houses get tagged all the time. People sleep in your yard, there are always dozens of people just hanging out outside the complex at any hour of the day with shopping carts and trash and it's awful. There's no way they can afford anything in that neighborhood. It sticks out as badly as possible.

I have a gut reaction to the Section 8. I don't want to live near it, I don't even want to drive by it. Been there, done that, over it.

Major Drama or My Black Sheep Brother

2009-07-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Warning: Major drama, really long. This has been hard on me, so I wasn't even sure if I should blog it.

My brother pled out a couple days ago for time served and got out of jail. He refused to go to rehab (again), so my parents kicked him out. He got evicted from his apartment while he was in jail, so they had his stuff. My mom, bless her, gave him his car, a full tank of gas, and $400. She neatly packed up his stuff in two suitcases and gave him a blanket and a pillow.

He told her that he would kill her and burn down the house. Drugs are who he is, you don't understand, you're too closed minded, you don't accept me. I begged my parents not to stay there, so they went to my sister's house, reluctantly.

In the middle of the night, he showed back up. He "lost" the car five miles away, we think he walked. He broke the garage door. He broke the front and back door off the hinges. He broke windows. He trashed the house. He was screaming, and a neighbor called 911. It took the cops 30 minutes to arrive (one of the biggest problems with living in the country). The police found him an hour later fully dressed in a fountain. He said he was in the Illuminati.

This is just so sad and out of control. Mom found his car with the help of a questionable "friend", loaded it with all his stuff, and is going to give it to the police. Surely, he can't be the first inmate who needs his car stored?

My parents are selling their house, mom changed her phone number. I can't believe I even wrote that. This has happened a dozen times, maybe more. Without the violence, he could have used and abused mom forever. But it's over now. That druggie killed my brother.

I can't decide if I'm angry at what he has done to my mom or mourning my brother. I am just so very glad my parents were not at home. I couldn't handle mourning all of them.

For now, I am trying to figure out how they can buy a new house and have the title anonymous, without putting it in a trust. Surely, they aren't the first victims of domestic violence who want an anonymous house title?

Finance Tips from "The Nest"

2009-07-13T05:34:00.000-07:00

I got a spam magazine to the very fake name I used to sign up for the bridal monstrosity that is the Knot. Who sends freebie magazines to someone named "We R Dog"? I'm surprised I used my real address! This magazine was pure spam, newlywed focused.

This magazine is called "the nest" and it seems fixated on buying expensive decor and getting knocked up, not my favorite newlywed activities.

The cover article is "Survive on One Salary" which is intended for staying at home after you get knocked up, but suggests it might be useful if someone gets laid off as well.

Most of the advice is the same old: budget, drop cable, use coupons, quit smoking, don't go out. Great.

The worst was random advice from random people from the Internets, sadly reproduced in this sad magazine, credited to names like We R Dog.

"Buy generic brands of toilet paper, trash bags, and paper towels." - Balbacm

"If you have a cell, lose your landline." -Klingle33

"Don't buy bottled water, filter it at home." - Melanie_N_Alan

"I've improved my credit score by keeping one or two cards open and making sure they're paid off or kept at a low balance." - LilCindella

"Shop at estate auctions. We got a washer/dryer at on for $50!" - Autumn_Lovers

I feel dumber already. Lord help you if you need these awful tips to survive on one income. Especially after you bought all the designer china and baby stuff earlier in the magazine and all the dresses and flowers and custom monograms and signature cocktails the Knot was peddling. Whew! I mean, what on earth were you buying before, Balbacm, couture trash bags?

I got one!

"Stop reading stupid magazines peddling overpriced crap! And avoid the Knot which gives you unrealistic, stupidly expensive wedding expectations!" - We R Dog

2010 Wedding Schedule

2009-07-12T05:06:00.000-07:00

Whew, I think I got out of the stupidly expensive destination wedding. Well, I tried at least by sending an email that we still can't commit when I don't have a job. Hopefully that will stop the nagging.

Meanwhile, the weddings keep pouring in! In 2010, we have weddings in Miami, London, and Vegas. These happen to be awesome places that I would love to vacation anyway. They are also places that are actually meaningful to the people getting married, well, except Vegas, but that's a whole other tradition.

Anyway.

That pretty much settles our travel for next year. It takes time and money, and well, we're done with our vaca days and travel budget with that many heavy travel weddings. That said, I bet we can even go to London for less than that stupidly expensive Caribbean destination wedding.

We're so old that I thought our friends were done, I guess I was wrong. I guess when you're around 30, your wedding gets even bigger! We're also hitting the first round of divorces the same time as the next round of weddings!

Job Search Update

2009-07-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

If y'all were worried, my Friday interview went really, really well. I knocked it out of the park from my end, and I'm really excited about a new industry and about my possible co-workers. Of course, there's always the elephant of the economy in every discussion and employment decision.

Like usual for interviews, I traded my gemstone engagement ring for a plain gold band to show I mean business and to avoid a diamond debate on an interview. Both women I met were also wearing gold bands!

That might sound like no big deal, but this is Texas and those women make bank. Around here, rich women make sure you know by dirty, loud diamonds. The bigger the better. It's one of the many reasons I don't like diamonds. But not these women, and I felt a connection to them I never felt at my old job.

I've been trying to think positive, and at the same time not get too attached to this job, which might be an impossible balance. I have two interviews next week, anyway, so things are looking a lot brighter for me.

Not Forced or Personal Responsibility

2009-07-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

I can't stand it when people whine about things they control and pretend like they have no choices.

When you have cancer, you have no choice. When you get laid off with your whole department, you have no choice. When your house burns down, you have no choice. Most of the time, you control your own destiny.

This whiny post from Stew over at Gather Little By Little is one of the worst. Stew doesn't want his wife to work outside the home but they are "being forced into this decision simply because it makes good financial sense." Sorry, buddy, nobody forced you to do anything.

You could downgrade your home. You could get a better job or a second job. She could start an Etsy store from home or babysit some kids. You could move to a cheaper area. You could downgrade your lifestyle. Nobody forced you to do anything. If teaching preschool is what finally lets you actually save a little money and pay off your student and car loans, you could probably use a better job anyway.

The comments are very thoughtful and reflective on what seems to be a tough choice for many. But to pretend like it isn't a choice is just silly. Of course it's a choice. It's a choice you have to admit you control and just make it, like an adult.

Rolling Over, Boy Was That Hard!

2009-07-10T05:28:00.000-07:00

This dog found it is very, very hard to roll over!

Since I'm tying up loose ends, like my 401(k), I decided to go ahead roll it to Vanguard. I don't know who my new employer's 401(k) will be, but it probably won't be Vanguard. So, for long-term hedging, I decided to roll it over.

Problem. About 2K of the 40K is Roth 401(k). That means I can't do it online. I took an HOUR LONG conference call between Vanguard and Fidelity (both of whom actually know what they're doing) to deal with it. It was like I was the first person in the world to ever do this. I can't even imagine if it were with some worse company, like my awful experience at ADP.

Moral of the story is that you shouldn't mix your Roth and your traditional 401(k), kids. Whew, that was tough.

Life Insurance

2009-07-09T05:38:00.000-07:00

I'm envisioning the job I'm interviewing for on Friday as happening. I'm trying positive thinking or The Secret or something.

It also means I'm wrapping up all the loose ends while I have some spare time, like finally making the wedding photo album.

And then there's life insurance.

I really need to finally get this going. I quoted it out almost a year ago, back when I thought we needed a half mil a piece. (Gawd, have I procrastinated that long???) Now, I just need to get this done.

Again using Ing Reliastar through Zander, here's our rates for 250K

15 yr (me) $137/yr
30 yr (me) $207/yr

15 yr (him) $157/yr
30 yr (him) $257/yr

For 500K,

15 yr (me) $210/yr
30 yr (me) $350/yr

15 yr (him) $250/yr
30 yr (him) $450/yr

AHHHHH! WHAT DO I CHOOSE? How much do I need?

Heaps of Cash

2009-07-08T05:15:00.000-07:00

I have my best interview yet on Friday (send good vibes!). This would be a similar job to my old one, maybe a little mellower. It would be in a whole new industry, so I'd have a lot of catching up to do. There would be a lot to learn.

My lay off has radically changed my view on money. If I get that job (six figures) here's what we'd do.

* Upgrade the rental to about 2K/month with a garage.
* Sock the rest away.

With Senor Dog kicking butt and me making a gob of money, we could have 100K in cash in no time, and that gives us a lot of choices. We could finally buy a house.

Buying, say, a 500K home terrifies me. Even Jonathan, the height of frugality, is underwater on his really expensive home. That soundbite storyteller that replaced Tricia's sincere and heartfelt journey on Blogging Away Debt has yet to release her figures. (She doesn't seem to understand the point of a financial blog.) I'm guessing she's in so much trouble because she has too much house.

Most importantly, I've learned our income won't last forever. Especially in this new job, change is inevitable. We have to be able to live on less, a lot less, than we make. I thought we always did that, intellectually, but now I really feel it and understand it.

Visiting Jail

2009-07-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the jail, visiting my brother. I went with one of my other brothers.

I'd never visited jail before (thankfully), and it was terrifying. It was like Jerry Springer in there, only not funny at all. A lot of women with small children. The smell was overwhelming. There were a whole lot of visitors, easily a hundred, and it was the middle of the day.

You couldn't take anything with you, had to put it in these little lockers. My brother didn't want to pay 50 cents for the locker, so he put our stuff in his car because the lot was right next to the prison and was patrolled. Luckily, he was right because I would have been really mad if someone stole my iPhone.

An hour later, we got to the visitation room, where the inmates were behind glass and bars like animals. There wasn't even a phone like on TV, just this sad speaker thing which you washed down with paper towels and soap from the bathroom and had to put your face up to. Visitors were screaming to be heard all around.

One woman, obviously a wife with a baby and a toddler, screamed she couldn't afford to take any more calls because they were $6 and she had to buy formula. One man wanted to know visitation schedules to visit the inmate, the inmate's brother, and the inmate's mother in the nearby prisons.

My brother just screamed at us for not bailing him out. He said we didn't support him. He said we had to get him out. It wasn't fair. I don't think I've seen him sober in years. It was really sad. He was so scared. The whole situation is just sad.

After that little performance, I'm more convinced there's nothing I can do. My money can't help him now.

Drugs

2009-07-06T05:24:00.000-07:00

One of my brothers finally got arrested for drugs. It was only a matter of time. This drama sounds an awful lot like Abby's today.

He's been an addict for years. I only hear from him or see him when he wants something a couple times a year. He was involved in this awful robbery, but they couldn't quite pin him with it. So, instead they searched his stuff and got drugs. He had just sold his guns for more drugs, or the charges would have been worse.

I got a collect call from the jail, and I didn't take it. It broke my heart. Then I got a call from his public lawyer two days later (faster than I thought it would be).

I'd never bailed anyone out of jail before (thankfully!) so I asked how it worked. His bond amount was $2500. If you go to a bail bondsman, you pay some smaller amount, like $250. Then, if he doesn't show up, they come to your address and demand the money that moment. Uh, no thanks. I wouldn't trust him to come to Thanksiving, I certainly wouldn't put money on him showing up to anything ever.

He's been in jail almost a week now, and I kind of feel like it's my fault. I feel like I abandoned him. But jail is the only way I know to keep him sober. Plus, I just really don't want to get involved.

More Interviews

2009-07-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

I have two interviews this week for jobs that are a heck of a lot like my old job.

They would pay a little less, and be a little less stressful. But it would still be a lot of hours. These jobs are also in a different industry, so I'd be starting from scratch on a lot. I can't say I'm thrilled about that.

But the money... These would be six figures plus, it's hard to resist that lure.

Job hunting seriously sucks. I feel like my calls don't get returned, emails not acknowledged, like I'm just screaming to no one. Honestly, I'm ready to just settle for some other lousy job.

School Lunches, Summer Version

2009-07-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

The local channels have been running heartbreaking commercials.

Over half -- OVER HALF -- the kids in the local school district qualify for free school lunches. The commercial says this is probably their only nutritious meal during the school year, so there's some sort of giant bureaucratic thing to give them lunch during the summer. The commercials say you should help in some mysterious way.

Holey moley -- over half?!?!?!

This is just sad, but seriously -- How can these people afford kids? How sad is it that over half the parents in our (public) schools can't afford, say, $40/month to feed their kids lunch. The pound where I got my dog wouldn't even give you a dog if that were true. You sure as heck wouldn't make it through adoption.

I feel like Senor Dog and I can't afford kids because we only have COBRA (though I guess they have government insurance), we can't afford private school and daycare, we sure can't afford a Chinese tutor. I can't even imagine being responsible for a kid when you can't even afford to feed her. Sad.

Not Paying Taxes

2009-07-04T06:32:00.000-07:00

I met a realtor at a bar, a friend of a friend, who looked like the kind of girl who did pageants as a little girl. Of course, I'm no fan of realtors.

She actually bragged to me, practically a stranger, that she hadn't paid her taxes in four years.

I know, I know. Paying quarterly taxes sucks. That 8K check killed my whole month. But it's still better than picking a fight with the IRS.

Like Kelis -- who hasn't filed since 2002, according to her divorce. How can you live like that??? Don't you worry about it? Don't you think about it at night?

I was always confused by JW's IRS problems before his blog folded. How could it ever get that far? Why wouldn't you just do it at tax time? Four years later, that 8K check (and all the other ones you missed!) are a whole lot scarier.

Why on earth would you brag to a stranger that you don't pay your taxes? And, my word, would you really want someone who doesn't do their taxes doing the deal on your biggest asset?

Saw a Co-Worker

2009-07-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

I saw a former co-worker at the liquor store, where else?

I was wearing a cute little summer dress, popping in for some wine for a dinner party. He was buying some Makers Mark. I've lost some weight since I joined 24 Hour Fitness, I've gotten more sleep, I am so much HAPPIER. I was glad he saw me like that.

He asked me what I was doing, I said I was scaling up Senor Dog's business and we were getting more employees (sort of true). I could practically feel the jealousy.

He said things were even more tense, even worse morale, which is hard to even imagine. He looked so tired and beaten up. I wonder if he always looked like that?

I didn't even really want to talk to him. I feel like that part of my life is over, that I will never work for screaming jerks again, that I'll never slave 90 hours for people I can't even have a civil conversation with again. Whew, I'm glad I'm not there anymore.

Still Dodging the Destination Wedding

2009-07-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

Since I last talked to Bahama Mama about her ridiculous destination wedding (posts here and here), I've gotten weekly "reminder" emails. She called once and I didn't pick up. That's how I feel about this wedding.

She left a voicemail about "checking on our plans." Guess a deadline is coming up for their fancy resort in some place they've never been.

I thought it was interesting people continued to comment on those destination wedding posts about their selfish brides in Lala Land. Boy, did that hit a nerve!

I don't want to spend 1K on anyone's wedding. I don't want to use up my precious little vacation (well, Senor Dog's precious little vacation) to go to an international destination that has no connection to them and that I have no interest in visiting.

I also hate that I have to be dishonest about it. I have to say we can't afford it, or we don't know about our vacation days, or make something else up so I don't hurt her feelings. I wish I could say the truth. It's stupid to make everyone you know spend 1K on your wedding, you have no connection to the Caribbean, it's alienating to send a bunch of naggy emails, it's nasty to pressure your friends into your stupidly expensive wedding. Oh, and you're a selfish diva if you expect all of your friends to shell out 1K for your party!

I'm shocked that she thinks this is OK and normal. I blame the bridal media.

Net Worth June 09: Not As Bad As It Looks

2009-07-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Net worth June 09, $144,219 (-6K, -4%)
For 2009, +68K, +90%

I keep telling myself this isn't as bad as it looks. This isn't as bad as it looks!!! We had some serious cash outlays this month that would have been hard to cover even with both working. Considering this was a self-employment month where not much cash hit, this isn't so bad. Next month will have more cash and (hopefully!) less expenses.

Major expenses:
$1K to fix the car some drunk plowed into
$2,400 for COBRA for May and June. Gulp.
$8K in Q2 taxes
Two weeks of travel, led to increased food costs and such

The good:
The market was up a tick, almost $600 in the retirement accounts
$2,500 invested in taxable stocks

The Check-Out Girl

2009-07-01T04:52:00.000-07:00

I got a chatty cashier at the cheap Mexican grocery. The one where you don't know what produce you'll get, it's all in Spanish, and there's cactus and tomatillos and 20 kinds of chilis.

The cashier was talking about my edgy hair -- blue clip ins, I guess they look like they are dyed. (Hey, now that I'm unemployed, I can do what I want!) She said that her parents had told her she couldn't dye her hair until she could pay her own bills.

I thought she was a teenager, but it turns out she had just graduated from the local state school in business. I thought I was going to cry. That girl could have been me. I'm not above an honest day's work, but it was so sad to me that she had to work there.

We were separated by only a few things. Ivy vs. public school (which is worth squat now) but more importantly, we were separated by a couple critical years.

I feel sorry for myself a lot. It sucks to be unemployed, and it sucks to get fired. But it must suck even worse to graduate from college into this terrifying mess, to compete with people like me. At least I got in with enough time to pay off Sallie and to make it on my own, at least for a while.

Matching Silverware

2009-06-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

OK, troll, I'll bite.

Does your relevation also include realizing you don't need matching silverware too or is that still important?

Yea, it's important. But that's not what I was going for in my post about silverware.

There are two kinds of poor people: the kind who care about their things and the kind that don't. You can see it just driving through the poor neighborhood. Some yards are full of trash. Some houses are spic and span.

LAL got it, her thoughts are here. She got it exactly right. You don't have to have nice things to take care of them and to actually care how they look.

My parents always took care of their things. They treasured what they had, and they did their best. So, our silverware was cheapie from Wal-Mart, but it matched and it was always clean. Our couch might have been from Goodwill, but it was never stained, and it would always be repaired right away. Mom had only a couple outfits for church, but they were always immaculate.

In my experience, in this kind of neighborhood, the people who make it out are the ones who actually cared about themselves and their things. When you give up, when you'll always be poor, when the little guy can never get ahead, you just let your yard fill up with trash. When you can't be bothered to get the trash out of your yard, how on earth will you ever make it out?

444 posted this soul-searching admission of her "wreck" of a place. I'll admit it shocked me a bit. I'm nowhere close to my mom's fastidiousness, but there was never any black grout in my bathroom -- even when I was working 90 hour weeks and didn't have a maid.

Maybe to the middle class it doesn't matter. Toothpaste here and there is no big deal. But in the poor, you can see the mindset. Everyone who gives up hope of ever leaving just gives up on their stuff as well. It's just a reflection of larger values.

Sicko

2009-06-29T06:59:00.000-07:00

I Netflixed "Sicko." That was a mistake. I wouldn't say I'm a Michael Moore fan, but this one was really scary.

Those horror stories gave me chills. Of course, I'm sure you could make the same film in Canada or the UK or anywhere, really. Healthcare is such a murky, nasty business. I'm glad I don't work in healthcare. Whew.

But this one was close to home. Some poor woman's plan got yanked because she didn't disclose a horrific pre-existing condition: a yeast infection. She was even lawyered up, they said she'd misrepresented herself. I was terrified.

There's no way we can possibly disclose everything on those forms. I've lived in 8 states. I don't even know who all my doctors were.

Our COBRA is $1,100/month, and it still might be the best option. Texas took care of all that pre-existing condition nonsense, but they could still get me not disclosing my yeast infection or whatever.

No More Stupid Crap

2009-06-28T04:56:00.000-07:00

I've had one heck of a revelation in the last couple days.

In the recent past, at my grueling, well-paid job, I shopped a lot. I shopped online, I popped by the mall, I browsed the Neiman's clearance, I shopped the email invite only online sample sale. I also got yelled at and blamed and generally treated like trash all the time.

When I got laid off, I started with a conscious effort not to spend money. I didn't browse Amazon. I didn't go in any stores except the cheap Mexican grocery. I was trying not to spend money we didn't have.

Now I realize how much stupid crap I had bought. We didn't need a new kind of cheese grater or matching hangars or whatever it is I bought. I sometimes bought every single day on Amazon. I didn't even realize what I was doing because it never felt that bad because I never had time to, say, go to the mall. I believed I didn't have time to spend the money.

Now, I stopped buying crap, and I feel HAPPY. Heck, maybe I stopped buying crap because I left my miserable job. Maybe the buying was a lousy escape. I escaped another way now!

How To Get Rid of the Books?

2009-06-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

I have two boxes of books that I just don't want. After flirting with Amazon marketplace, I managed to make a cool $1/book on three of them. Now, I'm just done with them. I just want them gone.

This is why I hate books and DVDs, everything. I love Netflix because I can just rent whatever I need. But the books...

These are travel books to places I went to long ago, or won't go back to, wedding books, some fiction. I don't need this stuff hanging around anymore.

So, what do I do with them? Where do I donate them?

Estate Planning, Parents

2009-06-26T14:02:00.000-07:00

I went with my parents today to help them with their (simple) will.

We talked about it all. Life support, cremation, grandpa's antique rifle, the whole bit. The total cost was $1,100 for the lawyer.

I left the room a couple times, but I'm thrilled to know my parents have done so well. My dad's employer has changed faces and names over the years, so he doesn't have a pension anymore, but he will have 1M lump sum when he retires in about 5 years. My parents, my working , blue-collar parents, who didn't go to college, have a net worth of almost 3M. I am just so proud of them.

They scrimped and saved their whole life. I think I'm going to try to talk mom into some sort of grand vacation. My dad would never go, so mom just never went. She's never been on a flight across the ocean.

Now that my in-laws also have their documents sorted, and so do my parents, I feel like a weight has been lifted. Now I just have to do these kinds of documents myself. Ugh.