ask grandma j

2010-01-04T19:29:00.000-06:00

Physical Therapy

A day in paradise? You be the judge.
Ya’ll know Grandma J has been nursing a bad knee for months now. Dr. Bob the ~~oldest~~ Ortho, opposed to Dr. Bob the ~~young stud~~ Primary Care Dr, recommended some physical therapy to relieve the discomfort Grandma J was feeling.

Let me share with you her introduction to the profession of Physical Therapy from a ~~client’s~~ patient’s point of view.

After the referral was made, it took about six weeks for insurance approval and scheduling. You know, there was Thanksgiving, then Hanukkah, Christmas, The Rose Parade.....

Grandma J was anxious to start. She envisioned a lot of massaging and muscle toning. She remembers going with friends to a spa once and having a treatment and it was actually heavenly.

Something like this! Yessiree, a full body massage with emphasis on the bad knee of course. Grandma J remembered the soft soothing music of ocean sounds with little birds chirping in the distance. There was the aroma of the sweet flowers sprinkled about permeating through the air. Boy, did the memories come rushing back!

The big day arrives. It’s recommended that Grandma J wear loose fitting clothes. That made perfect sense because it’s easier to get undressed and dressed. To make it easier she forgoes the bra. Yes.She.Does.

Grandma J meets Isabel, her own personal therapist, the excitement builds. Here’s how the conversation went:

Isabel: We are going to start with me asking you some questions, Ok?

Grandma J: Ok

Isabel: On a level of one to ten how bad is the pain in your knee when resting?

Grandma J: About a two

Isabel: Good! Now, what level would you say the pain is when your exercising?

Grandma J: Pauses.....what do you mean, exactly?

Isabel: Well, for instance do you run or go for long walks?

Grandma J: Not very often.

Isabel: How about sports? Do you play tennis or golf?

Grandma J: No…..but I go to my grandson’s baseball games.

Isabel: OK…..tell me, do you have any hobbies?

Grandma J: (thinking oh good! Something I can actually give an honest answer to) Why yes I do!

Isabel: Great! What do you do?

Grandma J: I blog.

Isabel: said with a blank stare....Blog? And, how many hours a week would you say you blog?

Grandma J: (reaches for her new iphone to access the calculator)

Isabel: You don’t have to give me an exact number of hours. How about telling me what else you do?

Grandma J: looks around the room trying to grasp at something interesting to say.

Oh, I go to the movies once a week!

Isabel: Umm, I think we can get started with your therapy.

This isn’t what Grandma J had in mind! And for the record, Isabel is a regular drill sergeant.

Grandma J has to go back tomorrow. That’s if she can get out of bed.

2010-01-03T23:03:00.000-06:00

A to Z Mondays

Brought to you by the letter...

Yes, we are talking Ants. Those pesky things that are taking over the earth. There are all kinds. Some want your food, some are looking for water and some ~~are out to kill you~~ bite.

There is one thing Grandma J knows for a fact. Ants travel in groups, or colonies as some put it. Or maybe they just live in colonies.

These here are red fire Ants. Here in Texas, they travel in groups known as vigilante posses. They are particularly dangerous because their bite stings and burns. Not only that, but the whole dang posse waits for the word, and they all run up your leg like grease lightning and bite in unison. Then you scream.

Ok, so now you have Grandma J's definition of Ants. It might not be scientific, but it's factual.

Now, let me tell you about another A that is high on Grandma J's list.

That's right! It's the Abba- Zaba candy bar. They are the best, and for those who have never heard of them, you don't know what you're missing.

You can check out more letter A's over at A to Z Mondays. Unfortunately, this is the last week because we went foreward, then backwards through the alphabet. Thanks to Jen at Unglazed for 52 wonderful weeks!

2010-01-02T22:26:00.000-06:00

It Can Happen To Anyone

Well, obviously it didn't happen to anyone but Grandma J because no one else posted their A to Z Monday post on Saturday!

So, when Jen at Unglazed, whose also the Keeper of A to Z Mondays commented on Grandma J's ~~declining mental capacity~~ early posting, she quickly withdrew it.

This is the post Grandma J really wanted to post before she lost two days of her life.

It's all about her newest Christmas tree ornament.   You see, when Grandma J goes on vacation, she likes to find an ornament for her Christmas tree as a reminder of all the fun she had.   Over the years they have added up, and bring back a variety of memories.....some that Grandma J ~~would like to forget~~ will always remember with a smile.   Her newest vacation ornament is from Blog Fest 2009 in Mathews VA last July.

This glass ornament is hand painted on blown glass by a local artist in Mathews. Grandma J put it front and center on her tree so everyone could see it. Everyone would be her neighbor Donna and Huey, the maintenance man.

Of course Grandma J is proud of her natural talent for printing stuff on other stuff with a sharpie.

Now, about that tiny bit of confusion on what the heck day of the week it was. Grandma J has her theories...mostly about nutritional intake.

Maybe.....just maybe, Grandma J should try to pace chocolate intake and not polish off a pound of her favorite chocolates in three days.

2009-12-31T21:34:00.005-06:00

Happy New Year

To all my Blogger and Blister friends....oh yeah and Nick, Hollywood, lmnop, Postcard Cindy, Colin, Janet, Loxandlo and all my annonymous' friends.

2009-12-30T19:01:00.001-06:00

The Review

It's Complicated

I'm so glad I went to see this movie, and I'm even happier about seeing it a week after it came out. Why? Because it's hilarious! I don't like seeing laugh out loud movies when the theatre is full because some people laugh so loud, long and often that you miss some of the dialogue. It's even worse when someone says, "what did he say?", then the person they are with repeats the funny line, then the other person laughs. There were five people in the theatre....all women...perfect!

Meryl Streep is her usual beautiful self with messy hair that looks good on her, but not on anyone else. She laughs alot and has regular pow wows with her best friends, where they talk about their sex lives or lack thereof. Kind of like in Mamma Mia.

Jane, (Meryl Streep)has been divorced from Jake (Alec Baldwin) for ten years, after a 19 year marriage. He had an affair with a younger woman and ended up marrying her.

She's also successful bakery restaurant owner who's soon to be an empty nester as her youngest of three kids goes off to college. So....she decides to have plans drawn up to remodel her home. The architect is Adam, played by a meek Steve Martin. He developes a crush on Jane, and she slowly finds herself liking him too. I'm not sure I liked him in this role. He had a few funny lines, but mostly his role was straight.

Ok so Jane and Jakes' son is graduating from college in New York City, and the whole family is going for the weekend. The kids have plans to attend a big party for the graduate, which leaves Jane disappointed because she envisioned them all having a nice dinner together. She decides to go down to the dining room alone. While she's waiting for her table at the bar, she sees Jake sitting at the other end of the bar.
Seems his wife couldn't make the trip......

Well, yep, Jane and Jake end up spending the night drinking, dancing, drinking, laughing, drinking and end up in bed.

They have an affair. The rest is a hoot as Jane tries to keep it from their kids. I don't want to tell you any more because it's not as predictable as you may think.

I will tell you my favorite line in the whole movie.....

Home, Sweet Home

I give this movie five stars!

2009-12-30T11:06:00.000-06:00

The Weather Stinks

Because when the temperature is in the 30's for more than a week, ~~Grandma J gets whacky~~ all kinds of stuff happens. Trees commit suicide die, feet get cold, and people get grouchy.

Grandma J's remedy is to get the the theatre as fast her cold feet can fly. That's right, she's off to a matinee to see.......

So many of you said this was a hoot, and it sure does look funny. I will give you my thoughts on it later.

~~Chow~~ CIAO!

*don't forget to vote in the poll over there on the right.

2009-12-29T11:01:00.001-06:00

When it ~~Rains~~ Snows in Texas

Recently it's been really cold in Grandma J's neck of the woods. Temperatures have dropped into the 20's at night, and it's snowed.....twice.

This is a dead ficus tree. It's on Grandma J's front porch. It used to be lush and green.

Grandma J has two ficus trees on her front porch. They both used to be lush and green.

So Grandma J decorated her front door and two lush green ficus trees because there was a contest at The Spa for the best front entryway. Grandma J didn't win.

Be honest now.....don't you think it helps hide the fact that they're dead when she turns the lights on?

** New poll up there on the right

2009-12-27T23:45:00.000-06:00

A to Z Mondays

It's that time again boys and girls. Today is brought to you by the letter....

Grandma J had a hard time coming up with something for the letter B.   She ~~had three gin tonics~~ racked her brain, and finally decided on Bejeweled Blitz.

So, after playing Bejeweled Blitz ~~for six hours straight~~, and because she was starving, she googled food items starting with the letter B.

Grandma J doesn't like Broccoli or Brussel sprouts. She loves Butter and Bananas though....so she settled on Bananas.  Some of these are not your everyday bananas...

Are you ready?

Bananas are full of nutrients, and doesn't a nice bunch of Bananas look good?

Grandma J found this Banana costume? Would anyone really wear this?

Maybe someone would wear a head full of fruit if they were dressing up as Carmen Maranda.

Bananas peels have been known to be dangerous. Whoa......careful there!

And the final straw on this ~~silly~~ banana post?

Are you ready?

How about the lady who saw Jesus on her Banana. I.kid.you.not. You can read all about it right here.

There are plenty more letter B posts at A to Z Mondays. So scoot on over!

2009-12-26T08:42:00.000-06:00

The Day After

And really, who can blame him?

2009-12-24T15:17:00.000-06:00

Wishing You All....

From our house to yours.........

With Love and warm wishes.......

A Merry Christmas

* JJ thought Crusty was a toy...silly JJ!
So after ~~wrestling Crusty out of the jaws of death~~ what seemed like the fight of the century, Grandma J decided JJ should have his picture taken by himself. Can you tell by the look on his face he's not happy?

2009-12-23T15:56:00.000-06:00

Ten Kids Too Many

Grandma J loves making fleece no-sew blankets for the kids in the Peds Onc ward at the hospital. Last year it was Dell Children's Hospital in Austin, Texas. The year before it was Scott and White Hospital in Temple, Texas. This year she is bringing them to Scott and White Hospital again.

She only made ten blankets this year. Well actually, this year she made five more for her own Grandkids who had put in special orders. But seriously, there are more than ten kids in this cancer ward for Christmas. No child should be in the hospital on Christmas. Actually, no child should have cancer! Wouldn't it be wonderful if someday Grandma J called the Child Life Specialist on the cancer ward and she told Grandma J that they don't need any blankets because they didn't have any kids with cancer?

So, since she only had ten blankets,  Grandma J decided to give gift cards to four moms. She will let the Child Life Director hand them out.....those people are the best at determining people's needs!

The Child Life Director is meeting Grandma J tomorrow morning. And Grandma J is super excited because the director remembered Grandma J from two years ago!

I'm telling you.....when someone that important says they remember Grandma J it almost brings her to her knees.

2009-12-22T16:36:00.000-06:00

**Preface: Let me tell you about the lamest movie under God's Heaven. No, that's not the name of the movie, but maybe it should be. Just want to warn you that if you are busy, just go back to what you were doing because this review will probably be just as boring as the movie was.

Did You Hear About The Morgans? Please don't raise your hands....that wasn't a question, it's the name of the movie.

The Morgan's are a separated, married couple who decide to go out to dinner just because. Actually it's just because the husband is practically stalking his estranged wife, and she finally agrees to go out to dinner to shut him up.

They witness a murder after leaving the restaurant. And Meryl (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) is a high profile real estate agent with her picture plastered on magazine covers and the like. The killer finds out where she lives and yadda, yadda, yawn.

Because the killer made an attempt to kill Meryl, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who will be referred to as just Meryl or SJP because people need to give Grandma J a break with these long names.

Really, do you ever see Grandma J spitting out her whole name?

Ok, so the authorities tell Meryl and Paul, (played by Hugh Grant), that they will be going to an unknown destination in the Witness Protection Program. This is traumatic, to say the least, for these two high maintenance NYC gaddabout towners. No cell phones, no computers, art galleries...... NOTHING.

The Parkers....yeah, that's their new last name, end up in Wyoming. Wayyyyy out in the middle of nowhere part of Wyoming. They are forced to live together in a small cabin with a couple of retired Federal Marshalls who live there. With only one small guest room with a small bed, Meryl decides to sleep on the couch.

This movie is chock full of old cliches for this "New York is the Center of The Universe" couple. There are plenty of attempts at humor ala Beverly Hillbillys and Green Acres type jokes, except they seemed forced and aren't funny.

If you are still with me...I will tell you all about the only chance this movie had to redeem itself.

That's right......Paul gets cornered by a bear!! Grandma J actually sat up in her chair, and waited for some action. The sad thing is, there's probably more excitement in the clearance aisle at Big Lots than in this scene.

I don't want to go into detail and give away the fun filled action packed ending, but let's just say it's predictable.

Sadly, Grandma J gives this movie only 2 1/2 cowboy hats out of 5.

2009-12-21T09:21:00.002-06:00

It's A to Z Monday
brought to you this week by the letter

C.....as in Coffee!

I want to share some vintage Coffee ads I ~~stole~~ found. Some are self explanatory, and some are just funny. AND...there were some that I decided not to use because they would be considered vulgar today....you know, how some words have totally different meanings today? Grandma J is all about being PC.

Let's start out with a bit of chauvinistic brainwashing and helpfull hints for the new bride, shall we?

I don't think the megaphone comes with it. Read the instructions on on how to open the can!

Who knew that caffeine was the devil? I don't know about you, but there are days that Grandma J thinks caffeine is her best friend.

Kelloggs jumped on the decaffeinated bandwagon too!

The A & P was all about elegance in the 40's and 50's. Good china...silver coffee servers...fresh flowers. Grandma J is almost certain these ads played a major role in molding Martha.

By the mid 50's everything was starting to take on an aeronautical flavor. Jet this, jet that! And be honest....was anyone convinced that instant coffee tastes better than fresh ground coffee?

The Council on Coffee started using celebrities to push coffee ~~down our throats~~ in a big way after WWII. Ok, so I'm not sure there was a Council on Coffee, I made that part up. In any event, the ads were usually generic and Edward R. Murrow was someone everyone listened to. This ad wasn't generic....but the next one is.

John Wayne....an American legend for sure. Maybe Grandma J is a bit biased, but she met John Wayne several times and he was a humble genuine man.

This is a lame comic strip...but then I've never found Charlie McCarthy stuff that funny. Maybe because Grandma J's brother had a Charlie McCarthy puppet and he would torment her with it.

George Burns and Gracie Allen....who doesn't miss them?

Don't you just love old vintage ads?

Please take a few minutes to check out more C words at A to Z Mondays! Go on, you have time...and if you please feel free to join in!

2009-12-19T12:12:00.001-06:00

Our Christmas Parade

small town in Texas style

Grandma J's granddaughter, along with her dance team, marched in the local Christmas parade last Saturday. The parade was starting at 5ish in the evening. It was a cold and blustery day...like in the low 30s....but hey, that's what it's supposed to be like in the middle of December. Cold weather sets the mood....Santa will be all bundled up and the reindeer won't be breaking a sweat.

Grandma J and company set up camp towards the end of the parade so they can meet up with her granddaughter for a fast escape afterwards. Now, it wasn't like we were at the very end....just a couple of blocks from the end. Don't you just love the front row seats? Oh, and yes, it never gets any crowder...um, crowdier. Oh heck I don't know the right word, except this is pretty much as crowded as it gets.

Grandma J's daughter and JJ are really into this whole parade, but for different reasons. Daughter can't wait for her little girl to pass by, and JJ....well, he likes horses and of course wants to see Santa and his reindeer....mostly the reindeer.

JJ gets focused...and starts doing his little anxiety shiver.......

Yeah, like this is what JJ was expecting? This was the only Santa we saw in the parade!

By the time Grandma J's granddaughter came, it was pitch dark out...with no lighting what so ever. So, here is a picture of her granddaughter in the car after the parade.

Yes, she's in her pajamas.....and yes, can you believe a dance team wore their pajamas to march in the parade?

Does anyone else have parades like this?

2009-12-18T09:22:00.000-06:00

Loving Texas

Grandma J wants to tell you a little something about her sweet friend Kat. Kat doesn't live at The Spa or The Compound because she's not old enough. And...Grandma J didn't meet her at Walmart or the Bingo hall.

Kat used to live in CA just like Grandma J. But, she loves her some Texas!

For so many people, Texas becomes the center of their universe in a big way! Kat loves all things Texas.....

click on pictures to enlarge
....all things!

Could this be in Grandma J's future?
Should she? Would she?

2009-12-16T23:48:00.000-06:00

Birthday Dinner
or....it's People of Walmart Night at Olive Garden!

It's almost Grandma J's granddaughter's sixteenth birthday. Almost because she will be in So CA for her birthday, which is this coming Sunday.

She wanted to go to Olive Garden, and what a relief that was. Usually it's Texas Roadhouse or Chili's. Italian is a good alternative, even though I don't consider Olive Garden authentic Italian.

We had a bit of a wait, so we took advantage of the tree for a picture of the Birthday Girl with her BF, Mark.

And one with her favorite brother, A-Ron.

Grandma J didn't want to use her flash and scare anyone but where do you buy pants like these?

And, because she's a chicken, Grandma J had her daughter stand by the wine rack so she could get a picture of the pajama lady.

Yea, I think she is enroute to Walmart after dinner.

2009-12-15T23:06:00.001-06:00

Better Late

...or maybe not

In case anyone was wondering. Grandma J did not forget about A to Z Mondays yesterday. It was D day...and she specifically decided to use DREAMS as her D word. Or to be more specific, one certain dream.

I can see some of you sitting on the edge of your chairs, bracing yourself for something steamy. Well, relax because the particular dream for D Day would be whatever Grandma J dreamt about Sunday night. You know, so it would be current....fresh!

So, Grandma J took a swig of Nyquil to relax her mind...and off to bed she went. Now, just so you know, lately the dreams have taken on visions of great wealth luxuries....

...like winning the lottery. But that's not what happened Sunday night. No, no dreams of wealth or ~~mink coats~~ fast cars. Nothing exciting or steamy as in involving sex.

In fact, Grandma J's dream was so bizarre she's embarrassed to even tell you what it was about. Actually it was about a who. And, the who was a man. AND, it was about a man that Grandma J didn't know, and didn't give a hoot about. Are you ready? Seriously, I have been putting off even posting this...but I'm sort of committed to this A to Z Monday thing.

Yes, it's JoS. A. BANK. Who the H.E. double toothpicks is he? OK, so I know if I buy a suit from him I get four pair of socks for free or a tie.

Do you know what I dreamt about him? This is the really bizarre part. I dreamt that I had to find his college transcripts or they would pull his ads off TV. I don't think I ever found them. So why are his ads still running? And who dreams this kind of stuff?

Anyone else have strange dreams?

2009-12-13T12:55:00.001-06:00

A Movie Review
The Princess and the Frog

Grandma J loves a good princess movie, and no one does them up like Disney. Come to think of it, no one does Princess movies but Disney….hmmmm.

Someone wanted to go with Grandma J to see The Princess and the Frog.

Yes it was Margaret. She destroyed Grandma J’s makeup drawer getting all dolled up!

And dressed for the frigid weather. But when they got to the theatre parking lot they noticed two busses chock full of preschoolers. This was when Grandma J decided that Margaret, in her delicate physical condition...being shop worn ceramic, had to wait in the car.

The movie was fantastic! Well, there were few surprises as far as the story line went. I mean Tiana was a poor girl in New Orleans, circa 1920’s. She was best friends with Charlotte, the pampered spoiled daughter of Big Daddy La Bouff (John Goodman), a N’awlins mover and shaker. As one might guess, Tiana’s mother Eudora (Oprah), worked for Big Daddy La Bouff.

Disney’s princess movies all pretty much follow the same theme. Good wins out over evil. Poor wins out over rich. All good, beautiful girls fall in love with a prince and live happily ever after. Oh yeah, and all frogs can be princes if they find a pretty girl to kiss.

I’m not giving the story away, am I? You can’t say too much about a Disney Princess movie without spoiling it. I will say that I loved the characters, and the music was catching and good…just like you’d expect. Ok, you do have to like jazz!

This movie gets four out of five frogs…because a perfect movie isn’t this predictable.

2009-12-11T09:41:00.000-06:00

The Other Elise
or...where's the beef, and...is this a raw deal?

* for the record.....it's not this Elise, aka Little One

It's this one......Elise Egan

This Dec. 7, 2009 picture, made available by the Marion County Sheriff's Office shows Elise Egan. The 53-year-old Dunnellon woman has been arrested after allegedly hitting a man in the head with a raw steak!

According to a Marion County Sheriff's Office report, the man told deputies that Elsie Egan repeatedly hit him with the uncooked meat and slapped his face after he refused a piece of sliced bread. The man said he wanted a bread roll. Egan denied hitting the man with the steak but did admit to slapping him, saying she did it "so that he could learn."

According to online records, she has been released on $2,500 bond and is scheduled to appear in court in January. It's unclear if she has an attorney.

Grandma J says: Elise, GF.....what were you thinking? Raw beef? If you use a three iron they don't arrest you!

2009-12-10T14:51:00.001-06:00

Some Potpouri

.....or spending a slice of time, on a typical day with Grandma J

Of course you all know that Grandma J gets up when the crow honks. Then she braves temperatures in the 20's to garner a spot in line at Mc D's to pick up breakfast for her granddaughter. The order is always the same...one number 8 with apple juice, por favor.

Grandma J hates it with a passion when the person in the car in front of her has issues with the amount of creamer in their coffee. It just makes Grandma J want to ~~reach for her three iron~~ scream bloody murder!

Normally Grandma J pulls right into the drivway in front of the house and lets JJ come for the ride...but on mornings that she has a full plate, she pulls up by the side driveway so JJ doesn't see her car and go bananas.

After dropping off her Granddaughter at school this morning, Grandma J heads on over to the Post Office to mail a huge box of Christmas presents to Andrew, Beauty and Little One...and their parents.

Do people dress like this at the Post Office everywhere? Or is it just Walmart and Texas? and yes, I know, post office shouldn't be capitalized...except here in Central Texas where it's more like a theme park.

Oh, and this package that arrived in the mail? The one someone opened my mistake? Some of you ~~nosey snoops~~ asked what was inside......

Sweet Pea! Everything Sweet Pea, from Bath and Body Works

Now please excuse me.....there's some trouble brewing in the 'hood.

2009-12-08T22:41:00.000-06:00

Shortest Post Evah
by Grandma J that is

I just have a quick question.....look at the picture below and be honest......

Who does this?

You know, who receives a Christmas gift in the mail and opens it right away?

2009-12-07T22:40:00.001-06:00

The Blind Side
....the review

Today was a perfect day for Grandma J to go see a matinee. It was raining, and school was in session, so once again she had the place to herself and was able to bawl like a baby.

Most of you have already seen The Blind Side, and if you haven't then ~~shame on you~~ maybe you should just wait for it to come out on DVD. This is a true story about Michael Oher (Baltimore Ravens), a homeless teenager who is taken in by a wealthy woman and her family. His grades improve and he is a natural at football.

It's definitely a feel good ~~nose blower~~ tear jerker of a movie. Grandma J liked it because it had a happy ending...and it was a true story....and because Kathy Bates was in it...a bonus.

Grandma J gives this movie 4 1/2 hankies out of 5.

Now, the next matinee Grandma J is going to is this coming Friday to see........

The Princess and the Frog! I only wish it was in 3-D.

2009-12-06T23:45:00.000-06:00

A to Z Mondays

Brought to you by the letter E

That's right, Grandma J decided to go with Entertainment for all her Friday Matinees.

To celebrate, she's going to a matinee today to see Blindsided. So many of you have recommended this movie, and Grandma J have been anxious to see it.

I'll be back with a brief review since several people have already seen it...and all seemed to love it!

For more E words check out A to Z Mondays!

2009-12-05T18:59:00.000-06:00

A Memorable Day

Making new friends.......

Shaking hands with her and her family.....

Getting three of these signed......

One for me, one for my well deserving daughter.......

And one for him with a cherry on top... because it's what he wanted for Christmas.....

2009-12-03T23:11:00.001-06:00

The Weather Outside Is Frightning

It hasn't risen about the mid thirties all day.

Tonight it's dropping below freezing....with a good chance of snow all day tomorrow. Guess what Grandma J will be doing?

She'll be camping out at 7 a.m. for the whole day at Fort Hood for a book signing at 6 p.m. It's what she does from time to time, but never in sub-freezing temps!