The Anti-Jared

Rain on New Year's Day

2010-01-01T14:56:00.002-05:00

I expected the gym to be packed today, yet I was surprised.

I went around 10am, and I saw a couple of new faces, but for the most part, it was the same people running around.

Not a ton of new faces!

I love seeing new people at the gym. I am always curious about their motivation for going...

Do they want to get their old high school body?
Do they want to run a 5K?
Do they want to get healthy?
Did their loved one tell them they needed to drop a couple of pounds?
Did they just watch the Biggest loser and get inspired?
Is their a dress they always wanted to wear?

While I was on my favorite cardio machine today, I had a lot of thoughts....

There was someone on the treadmill in front of me that I have never seen before. He was overweight, and was walking slow. Just like someone I knew two years ago.
I wondered if he was going to keep coming back to the gym. If 2010 was going to be his year. If he was going to inspire others.

I saw a woman who I have never seen before, wearing all Nike. She was in really good shape, yet she was walking slow on the treadmill as well. I wondered if she was trying to get her mojo back.

I thought about my journey. It is so weird now. So many people told me that i was not going to lose all of the weight. That whatever I lost I would gain back. I do not like proving people wrong, I love proving myself right.

I thought about my blog. How much it has changed over the last two years. how no one knows what I am going to write next, which includes me.

I thought about how I am skinny in my dreams. That has only happened over the last year.

I thought about a papaya I just bought and how disgusting it was. It was the first fruit I ever bought that I hated.

After my workout, I did something that I have not done since I was over 400 pounds.

It was pouring in Orlando today. When I left the gym, I walked to my car.

Not run or jog, but walked.

Did you know I do not ever use an umbrella nor do I run in the rain?

It is true. I could not run and I could not fit under an umbrella at 400 pounds.

It rarely rains all day in Orlando, so I never thought about it.

For some reason, getting wet now does not bother me.

The reason

2009-12-31T20:18:00.004-05:00

Some one asked me what the best part of 2009 was for me.

Well, it was the other day. I told my son that I lost over 200 pounds, kept it off, was featured in CNN and AOL, and I write a blog. I told him I do this for him. He is the main reason I lost my weight and the reason I will keep it off. I told him I love him very much.

He was in shock. I know what he was thinking....
"So you never eat a piece of cake or something?"

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-30T22:27:00.004-05:00

Fine!

I am going to have some New Years Resolutions. But help me with them. I want any creative idea you have, except anything with weight loss or working out. Those I will focus on anyway.

Maybe I should be less annoying
Maybe I should post more about trees
Maybe I should fly to California
Maybe I should crawl under a rock
Maybe I should make a lot of money
Maybe I should give you a lot of money

Give me some ideas if you can. If you really need I prize for the most creative, I think we have some out of date Chef Boy-Ar-Dee's in my pantry that I need to throw out*.

* I am pretty dedicated on my plan to have Chef Boy-Ar-Dee's that are out of date. That stuff never goes bad!

Also, off topic, weight loss is not a job. Why do people take days off? Just say you are not eating on your plan.

You do care!

2009-12-29T16:07:00.002-05:00

There is a lot of grey areas with weight loss.

There is nothing that is "black and white"

There could be one person who weighs 200 pounds who would say "How did I get to this enormous weight" and then there will be someone like me, who throws their hands in the air and says "Yes, I am at goal!"

There are some who believe frozen dinners are the way to go and others who think they are a waste of money.

Some people lose weight by working out at home, some by going to the gym, and some do not even work out at all.

Some need the support of blogs and bloggers, and others could care less.

Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has lost weight differently.

There is no such thing as a "perfect diet" or a "right or wrong plan". I learned all of this during the two years I have truly changed every aspect of my life.

I will say one thing about weight loss....

Do not ever say you do not care.

We all make poor decisions from time to time.

We will all gain weight.
We will all skip workouts.
We will all be unmotivated.
We will all pick the television over running.

Yet, when we say 'I do not care" it means so much more.

To me, it means you do not care about yourself. It means you do not care about your family or friends.

But more than that, it means you are a liar, because you do care.

We all care. We all will make poor decisions from time to time. It happens.

But a poor decision does not ruin a lifetime.

Not caring does.

So with the Resolutions coming soon, look in the mirror and tell yourself you care.

Because you do.

This one is real part 3

2009-12-28T11:45:00.003-05:00

The Brotherhood Of The Traveling Underpants

By Tony Posnanski

I have never been a fan of bumper stickers. Well, that is until I saw the one that changed my life a couple of years ago....

In 2008, while driving behind a Ford Escort I saw the most intriguing bumper sticker I have ever seen. It read:

"Lose weight. Ask me how!"

At 420 pounds I did want to lose weight. but how?

So for 12 miles I followed this car until it pulled into a Target parking lot.

Semi-quickly, I walked over to the driver, who was a beautiful woman.

"Please, I need to lose weight. How? How?"

She handed me a "Free 6 inch sub" coupon for Subway and drove off.

Although annoyed that I did not have the answer, I was delighted to get free food.

I went to Subway and presented my coupon. before I could order, the guy behind the counter handed me a package and said

"We have been expecting you."

How did they know what I was going to order?

Well, at 420 pounds I would have eaten anything, so they definitely made an educated guess, which was any guess.

When I got home, instead of a sub in my bag, I saw a gigantic pair of underpants with a note:

To whom it may concern (Aka porky),

I welcome you on your weight loss journey. Believe it or not, these were once my underpants. Yes, you can see from the stains that they were mine. I will tell you that these underpants will help you in your journey. When you are in doubt, when you want to give up, when you have a craving for chocolate, put these underpants on. They are magical! Once you are done, give them to someone else to help them lose weight.

Sincerely,

Jared

At the beginning of my diet, I was doing great. Yet I was very nervous.

Nervous I was going to gain my weight back, nervous that I would become a statistic.

Yet, I had those stained magical pair of undies in my room. The pair from Jared, my weight loss God!

One day, I was going to blow it!

I wanted to eat so much.

While contemplating going to a Chinese buffet, I knew I had to put on the underpants.

Once I put them on, something weird happened. All of my cravings went away. I only wanted to eat fruits and vegetables. I wanted to go to the gym. I wanted to lose weight.

At first I thought it was because I was disgusted wearing some one else's underpants, but then I realized these were magical!

Well, I used those during my journey.

221 pounds lost and muscle gained!

After maintaining for some time, I decided to give back those magical underpants to help out another dieter.

I went to the Subway and was excited to see the same guy behind the counter two years later.

"Hey, you really helped me. Thank you for underpants.Now we need to help someone else." I said.

The guy behind the counter looked at me and said:

"We get everyone with that joke. Those underpants were fresh off of Sid." as he points to a 400 pound guy mopping the floor.

Well, it worked for me.

I swear this is how I lost weight 2009 part 2

2009-12-27T21:19:00.004-05:00

Jill Herbastein
By Tony Posnanski

When I was a kid, I was incredibly active.

I would run around in army attire, do push ups, and point at people and say

"Hey you, yeah you, you ready to lose weight."

I used to have a real good friend named Jill Herbastein. She was the total opposite of me which worked out well.

She was not fat, but kind of chunky. She dressed weird and she was never motivated to do anything.

"Hey Jill, you want to go run a mile?"
"Nah Tony, I will just sit under this tree."
"Hey Jill, you want to eat an apple?"
"Nah Tony, I will just eat this Snickers bar."
"Hey Jill, do you want to dance?"
"Nah Tony, I will just watch a video."

Although uninspired, we got along real well.

My family loved her and her family loved me. We were best friends!

One day, while in my tree house, she asked me a question.

"Tony, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Jill, can I trust you?"

"Tony, we are best friends, of course you can."

I was so excited to tell her. At 11 years old, I have been thinking about this for a while

"Okay Jill. Here it goes. You know how I work out a lot. Well, I want to inspire others. I want to help people lose weight. I will become a trainer. Then I will train famous people, like Punky Brewster and Mr. Belvedere. Once I do that, then I will make workout videos! See Jill, most videos are an hour long. I am going to make a program that is 30 days long. I will call it "The 30 Day Shred" Then I will make workout products and people will look at me like an inspiration! I might even be on a television show where people can lose weight, like Alf!"

Funny thing is Jill did not talk. She was just writing in her Trapper Keeper*.

* They still make Trapper Keepers! Nothing is cooler than a Trapper Keeper! It is like a Snuggie, you can make fun of it all day, yet everyone wants one. I would love to go to a power board meeting with one!

"Cool Tony, well I got to go home now."

"Hey, no fair! What do you want to be when you grow up?"

She thought for a minute and said:

"Hmmm, I love Poison. I would love to marry Brett Michaels! He is rad."

I never spoke to Jill again, and was quite upset when I realized that Jill Herbastein changed to Jillian Michaels.

She stole every idea I had!

Once I found out, I lost all ambition for working out and dieting. I ate a Honda Civic and ballooned up to 420 pounds.

It was not until my wife said "I think you are eating a lot of food, just saying!" that I decided to lose my weight.

I have been working hard at keeping my weight off.

200 pounds lost had been hard.

Yet, it would have never happened if it were not for Jill Herbastein

I swear this is how I lost weight 2009 part one

2009-12-26T20:07:00.002-05:00

With 2009 coming to an end, people are making their resolutions for 2010.

With that, many people are going to look all over the Internet and find weight loss success stories to motivate them.

In that mix, a few will find mine.

They will send me an email asking how I lost the weight, I will send them back the reply (Fruits Vegetables, working out, yadda yadda yadda), and then they will not find my answer so fun, and move on.

Trust me, it happened at the end of 2008.

So for the rest of this year, I am going to tell you my weight loss story the way you want to hear it. My creative variations.

Mega exciting!

One Simple Rule
By Tony Posnanski

Being 420 pounds was tough. I could not breathe properly or put on a seal belt.

Life was tough. I did not know how to lose the weight. I was scared!

One day, while looking on the Internet for porn, I noticed a banner on the top of my screen.

Actually, it was for a website with 35 year old women dressed like school girls.

After I pressed that, I noticed another banner that said "Lake Mary woman loses 75 pounds following one rule"

One rule?

At 420 pounds I would do anything to lose weight.

Plus, I lived in Lake Mary?

It must have been fate that the link had a woman who lost weight in the exact town I lived in!

The Internet must care about my health!

Once I clicked on it, my computer crashed.

I got scared.

At 420 pounds, I needed to know that one simple rule for losing weight.

As quickly as a 420 pound person could move, I went downstairs and saw my dog. Maybe she would know.

"Help Bee, I am 420 pounds, I must know the one simple rule for losing weight."

She looked at me and pooped on the floor.

"Hmmmm, poop....fiber! It must have something to do with fiber!" I thought.

I thanked my dog and wobbled out, leaving the poop for someone else to clean.

I called my wife and asked her the same thing:

"Rebecca, what is the one simple rule for losing weight?"

"What? I have no idea. Hey, I think I am in the mood for Applebee's tonight."

Apples. Hmmmm, something with fiber and apples. I was on the right track, yet could not figure out the one simple rule.

I went to my car and listened to "Die, Die My Darling" by the Misfits.

"Hmmmmm, fiber, apples, and Mizfit? This sh*t has got to make some sense!"

Believe it or not, but I was usually hungry at 420 pounds.

I stopped at the local 7/11 and got a ton of snacks.

When I started to eat, I thought for a minute.......

"Fiber, Apples, Mizfit and Slim Jim. Or is that Gym?"

I was feeling more confident about losing weight.

I knew that I was close to finding out the one simple rule.

I went home, and went upstairs. I was happy to see my computer was working again.

I clicked on the "Lake Mary woman loses 75 pounds following one rule" link and found out the rule!

She cut off a leg.

Perfect!

I cut off both of mine, lost 200 pounds, and went back to looking at porn.

14 items

2009-12-25T21:57:00.003-05:00

It is a weird thing. When I read weight loss blogs now, I do not look at the amount people lose each week, I look at their habits.

Let me back up a little.

I was asked this week how did I become such a good blogger.

It was a question that really stumped me. If you read my blog, you know that I really do not consider myself a great blogger.

But thinking that I am a bad blogger is stupid. Obviously I am good at it. People read my blog, follow my blog, and know a lot about me. People come back every so often to see what I write.

Some people comment, some do not. Some follow, and some just pass by.

Either way, people read.

At first I thought it was because I lost a lot of weight. 200+ pounds is a huge amount to lose and keep off.

Yet, there are other bloggers who have lost a lot of weight who are not as popular. Why me?

There are other bloggers who are creative.
There are bloggers who are honest.
Why do people come back to read my blogs?
Why am I a good blogger?

Then it hit me.

The other day I was at the grocery store. I picked up eggs and salad mix. I was not in a rush to leave. The checkout lines were not that big. Yet, I went to the "10 item or less" line*.

*I have always thought the "10 item or less" line was stupid. I have always believed that a good cashier will make any line go faster no matter how many items the purchaser has.

Anyway, the guy in front of me had 14 items. Yes, I counted because I am crazy.

I looked at the guy and said :

"Hey, I am in no rush, and it is no big deal, but you do have 14 items."

He looked at me and got mad.

"Like it really matters. It is 14 items. Close enough! Deal with it. Is it really going to ruin your day. You really care!"

I didn't get mad, but just looked at him and said "Just Sayin."

That is why people come to my blog. That is why I am a good blogger.

I notice things, just like you do but I say it out loud.

See, you are not stupid. You see the same things I see in weight loss every day.

I notice when someone loses 3 pound, yet two days later they gained 5?

We all give them a Woot, yet I know what you are thinking. I know what you want to write. I just say it.

I give praise for good trends. People who resist temptation, who work out, who better themselves each day.

Anyone can run 3 miles before going on a scale.

I am not a "no nonsense" blogger. I do not wear combat boots and yell "Drop and give me 20!"

Yet, I know when you have 14 items. We all do.

I just write it.

I am the 498th blogger this week to write about loose skin

2009-12-23T11:20:00.004-05:00

The other day I was wearing a bow tie, leather chaps and shiny dress shoes. I was coming up with some erotic dance moves to "Rico Suave" by Gerardo in anticipation for my Chippendale audition.

All of the sudden I looked down at my loose skin and realized my dream could never be.

DAMN YOU LOOSE SKIN!!!!!! I had such strong moves.

I have seen a lot of bloggers recently write about loose skin.

I get asked about loose skin all the time. I get at least five emails a week about loose skin.

In all fairness, I am the wrong person to ask. From not realizing I had a penis for six years to having loose skin is a pretty darn good trade off.

From working out a lot, I will admit that my skin did get a little tighter. Sure, I still have skin in my stomach and thigh area, but it is not truly that bad.

Most people I meet now do not believe that I lost over 200 pounds in a year. I do not look like I was ever 420 pounds.

My wife said I act different now.
Maybe a little more confident?
Maybe a little more determined?

I remember seeing people who lost a lot of weight with skin everywhere, hanging off of their arms and stomach. It scared me as well.

My doctor told me when I maintained my weight, if I kept working out, my skin would get tighter. He was right. I mean, I still have some, but not so much for someone who lost 220 pounds.

People do not want to hear "Having loose skin is better than being overweight!" In fact, I do not blame them. That is not a great answer.

Yet, it might be the only one I know. I love reading about Sarah, who has maintained her huge weight loss for so long and then made the decision to have surgery to remove excess skin. She did not make a snap decision. She made one that will make her confident for the rest of her life. It is not easy, but worth it.

For me, I will deal with the skin. I mean, I am still 5 foot 6 and bald. It is not like I will become Cary Grant if I did not have the skin. As long as I can touch my toes, pick up my son and hug my wife I am happy.

I wish I knew what to tell you. I really do not know the answer for loose skin. Once you lose weight, you will have to make that decision.

Maybe you will work out?
Maybe you will get surgery?
Maybe you will live with it?

There is no right or wrong answer......

Well, maybe gaining weight to make your skin tighter. That might be a wrong answer.

"Sweet Pickles" Posnanski

2009-12-22T13:20:00.002-05:00

I read a comment on some one's blog that hated when blogger's write in third person

This is where I wish my name was "Sweet Pickles" Posnanski.

"Sweet Pickles" says the best cardio is hiring your neighbor to chase you around with a knife. "Sweet Pickles" guarantees that you will not stop running no matter how cold it is outside.

"Sweet Pickles" thinks that Fruit Roll-Ups are fruit. I mean, "Sweet Pickles" does see that Fruit is in the title. Why not? Roll yourself in that stuff and dance.

"Sweet Pickles" does not understand how many American Pie movies are out there. "Sweet Pickles" understands the first and second, but now it is just kids, girls, and Eugene Levy.

"Sweet Pickles" loves the new workout video infomercial called Insanity. Perfect name if "Sweet Pickles" was going to buy it.

"Sweet Pickles" likes coffee. "Sweet Pickles" also thinks if you get whip cream, milk, white chocolate flavoring, sugar and a splash of coffee, it is the same. That is a "Sweet Pickles" exclusive!

"Sweet Pickles" did not understand the whole Tiger Woods thing until "Sweet Pickles" heard that one of the ladies was a waitress at Perkins. Pancakes at 2pm, who can resist!

"Sweet Pickles" does not want to hear about how cold it is where you are. "Sweet Pickles" is surviving through 60 degree weather! Yikaroonies!

"Sweet Pickles" loves inspirational quotes. Unfortunately, 2 Live Crew did not write one twenty years ago when Luke Skywalker penned "Shake it, don't break it, it took-ya mama nine months to make it".

"Sweet Pickles" thinks that you can achieve your goals today just as easy as you can on the 1st. You better not be on "Sweet Pickles" cardio machine on New Years Day. Ohhhhh, "Sweet Pickles" gonna be mad!

"Sweet Pickles" is holding on to a Swatch Watch and a pair of overalls just in case the styles of Bell Biv Devoe come back.

This post was approved by "Sweet Pickles" Posnanski!

My first post

2009-12-18T20:29:00.001-05:00

Read my first post here, written in April of last year.

My writing style has changed, but man I was still determined.

I am a regular Emily F*ing Dickinson

2009-12-17T02:25:00.003-05:00

128 ounces
By Tony "The Anti-Jared" Posnanski

I have a dog
Her name is Bee
She poops on the floor
And loves to pee
I have a cat
His name is Moe
He is very cute
Just a little slow
As silly as my animals can be
There is one thing that strikes me
I never had to ask Bee or Moe
To make sure to drink "Your H2OOOOOOOOOOOO"

I can not understand why you go a-glitter
And brag about drinking 56 ounces via Twitter
Drinking water is not a marvelous feat
It is a necessity, like breathing and food to eat
Yet people make it out like it is so hard
They want to pull out the "I am too busy" card
"I can believe I forgot to drink it don't you see!"
"I could not stop at 7/11 and buy a Fuji!"

We all have our struggles, most make us cringe
We all sneak a snack, even binge
We all skip a workout from time to time
Even have a delicious Bombay Sapphire with a lime
We all will gain and lose weight don't you know
It is okay, we get the fact that we Yo-Yo
Yet, it makes absolutely no sense to me
That we forget to drink water, a necessity.
When we do drink it, we throw our fists in the air
Like we won a Super Bowl, like the 85 Bears.
Here is a piece of advice you can take from me*
Drink lots of water,it is free!!!

Sorry about my rant, it was a bit long
For inspiration, I am sure Jack Sh*t has a dandy of a song!

My downfall

2009-12-16T09:25:00.003-05:00

A few months ago I wrote how I was the world's worst weight loss blogger.

And I still believe that I am.

Although I do love to write about my weight loss and things around me, I will never be a great blogger.

Trust me, I am okay with that.

See, you never know when I am going to update my blog. I will go a few days without blogging, and then write three days in a row.

I rarely comment.

Now I do not really respond to emails.

Although I was the biggest "Send me an email and I will respond!!!!" advocate, it all stopped when I spent 15 minutes on a reply to :

"We are alike. Can you give me some health tips. I eat clean also, except I love cheeseburgers and will not live without them. Do you love cheeseburgers?"

I realized I could have spent those 15 minutes with my son.

I do not have giveaways. I have turned down a lot of "freebies". So many that companies stay away.

I do not have any guest posts on my site. If I want to promote someone, I will link them, not have them write something that they could write on their blog.

I have no desire for blogging conventions. They do fascinate me, yet I would never go.

I am a poor tweeter. I do not use hash marks (#momspotting) nor do I ask where my "tweeple" are.

I do not say I have fans or readers. I do not know why that bothers me, but it does. I do not like when people write "This is for my fans" or "My readers would like this". Who are you, Mark Twain?

I do not inspire through words but actions. Sure everyone struggles, but it makes no sense to me how people want to motivate others when they do not have the energy to work out, or the desire to eat well. Inspiration does not come through blogs, but the mirror or the eyes of your children, wife, husband, mother, father, etc. Maybe that is why Erik bothers me.

How is it that I can write something that will make you cry one day, and make you mad the next?
How I can write something so loving then something so hateful?
How can I inspire you one day and then have you un-follow me the next?

Because I am not a great weight loss blogger.

I am an honest 400 pound guy who could not wipe his ass. Who could not hug his wife. Who could not breathe properly and who could not have a child.
I am a guy who would have six pounds of Chinese food in front of him while his wife watched with tears in her eyes. The only thought through my mind was "I hope she stops looking because I want to finish my food."
I am a guy who day in and day out now gives 110% in life. I do it for my family. For myself. I was never inspired by a blog or a post. My family inspired me every day.

Maybe I just expect the same from everyone else. That is my downfall.

The accountability of a fart

2009-12-15T12:26:00.003-05:00

Weight loss is all about accountability.

It is taking ownership for your actions and trying to make yourself better.

Well, during my weight loss journey there were a few instances where I was not accountable for my actions.

A few months ago, I was on a huge Fage kick.

Fage is that Greek yogurt that is super thick and low fat and creamy and blah blah good for you blah.

Every time I ate it though my stomach would bother me a little bit. I kind of ignored it at first yet it got a little worse each time.

Well, one day I went to go work out at 5pm. That is a rarity for me because I usually work out in the morning.

5pm is prime time at the gym, which means it is really hard to find an open cardio machine.

Yet, my favorite cardio machine was open. It was the weirdest thing.

There was 9 million people working out around my lovely elliptical machine.

I was so excited. I started working out, putting passion into my cardio experience.

Around the 10 minute mark, my stomach started to bother me.

I had to toot.

Usually I would run to another machine if I had to, but I was so lucky to be on the elliptical machine.

I could not leave the machine. I would never get back on it!

I tried to pretend like I did not have to fart. I was twisting and turning away on the machine, holding it in like it was a treasure .

I actually made it through the 50th minute when I could not hold it any longer. I slowly let it go so it did not make a sound.

I was praying it was, as a seven year old would call it, "la-no-smell-silentlicious" and I was right about the silent part.

But I started to smell the most rancid smell coming from me.

Stupid Fage!

I had to think quick. People were getting a whiff and I knew that I was going to be embarrassed.

I mean, I was a former 400 pound guy who sweat a lot. Who waddled instead of walked. Who hated life. I could not deal with the humiliation.

Actually, I could have, but this story would not be as funny if I was accountable.

So I made a face, turned to my right and said loudly to the woman next to me

"You are disgusting!"

The woman next to me, a 70 year old woman wearing all pink, looked at me and around in horror.

I ran out quickly. I did not see the ramifications of my comment. I would assume I was blamed because as a wise man once told me

"He who smelt it dealt it!"

I was not accountable for my actions.

But I did learn a valuable lesson!

I am lactose intolerant

The brilliance of Day 1

2009-12-11T21:51:00.005-05:00

Remember that contest I did, the "Missouri 60"?

Yeah, about that.....

I really never talked about it, well, because....

Fine, I hate weight loss contests and challenges! I can not believe I did one.

I tried to be like everyone else, and do some sort of inspirational contest.

One that you would look at and say.....

"Wow, that looks great! I want to lose weight on Tony's challenge! He is SOOOOO inspirational!"

After I did it, I was embarrassed. I wanted to make a name for myself, and I did it in a way I really did not believe. I do not believe in challenges.

But this past week, someone who was in a slump (Yes, not is but was) said the most brilliant thing.

Diana had a post called "Day 1, does this mean I am a failure?"

Now Diana is a success story who was (hence the word was) struggling.

After reading the post, one thing stuck in my mind. The brilliance of Day 1!

Do you remember Day One on your plan?

Remember the night before Day 1?

You are focused and determined.

You go to your loved one and tell them you are ready to change your life.

Of course they look at you and give you a happy "Woot!"

You fold your workout clothes so you do not forget them. You set three alarms for 5am so you can go work out. You have all of your meals planned!

And then......

Day one hits! And it is a FABULOUS day!!!

You go outside and see unicorns and rainbows.

People throw cookies at your face, but it does not matter to you.

You made a commitment! You are stoked.

No is your favorite word.

Do you want pasta? NO!
Do you want cake? NO!
Do you want a hug? Only if it is sugar-free, otherwise NO!

You go to the gym and bust out 20 minutes on the elliptical! 20 minutes! Afterward, you are so happy, you do the Kid 'N Play with Kirstie Alley!

You end the day tweeting all of your friends that this is the new you!

You have done it, you made it through a wonderful "Day 1"! You are a success!

I would love all contests if it was only Day1.

Yet, day 2-60 get in the way. Those can be the rough ones.

So my suggestion to you, make every day Day 1!

The Art Of Twitter

2009-12-10T11:33:00.003-05:00

So the other day I asked which do you like more, Facebook or Twitter?

Now, I am like most of you, I love Facebook. I love knowing people by their real name, I love Bejeweled Blitz, and I love leaving comments. I like giving my wife a thumbs up, and I like writing a funny status update.

Here is why I am not as fond of Twitter as I am of Facebook....

I stink at Twitter.

Yes, I am not a good weight loss Tweeter.

See, in my opinion, there is an art to being a great Tweeter. You must have a really good blend of letting people into your life, re-tweeting motivational quotes, leaving good direct messages, and using the @ often.

I am way to cynical for Twitter. I think that re-tweeting something is lazy. I mean, be creative, do not waste a tweet on what another person wrote!

I am way too snarky. Every comment I leave is sarcastic. It throws people off after they read this blog. Yet, people like snark on Facebook.

Plus, Out of the 400 followers I have, 200 of them have a sexual avatar and try to sell me porn or send me a direct message that says "Is tthis you?"

With all of this being said, I have mad respect for the weight loss Tweeters that are good at it.

I do think that being a good Tweeter takes talent.

I will use my talent for Facebook.

Your opinion

2009-12-08T21:42:00.002-05:00

I have a post set for Thursday, but before I post, I would like your opinion:

One word answer, what do you like better, Facebook or Twitter?

Ruining a Sunday

2009-12-06T12:26:00.002-05:00

Today when I woke up my wife looked at me and said:

"I want to bake cookies!"

I guess right before I woke up, there was some Tollhouse cookie commercial on Lifetime where a mother and daughter were baking cookies together.

That commercial inspired my wife to do the same.

Stupid Lifetime!

Although I eat "healthy", I do not expect everyone around me to do the same. That is foolish to think that way.

My wife does not have an eating problem, I do.
She leaves food on her plate, I do not.
She can have a few bites of something and walk away,I can not.

I know this. That is why I am not tempted with cookies. I know the end result.

Yet it was kind of annoying that she wanted to bake cookies. There is nothing in our house to bake cookies. Well, I do have eggs and salt. That is it.

And I do not think she wanted a cookie with squash, apples and broccoli.

I told my wife we had nothing to make cookies which she fired back:

"No problem, just go after the gym."

My weakness! My wife knows that I will pick up anything after the gym. She could ask for a bear, and I would be in the woods after the gym looking for a bear!

So I went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for the classic Tollhouse cookies.

I got vanilla, butter, sugar, flour, baking soda, etc. It always makes me feel good to spend $30 on a couple dozen cookies!

BTW, I did request just buying the pre-made dough which got me a real quick "That is not the same" reply!

When I was checking out, the cashier was looking at my ingredients.

She was around 19 years old and clearly did not want to be there on a Sunday morning.She was yawning, which was annoying. I mean, you are at work, fake it a little!

Yet, she tried to fake her smile.

She looked at me and said with a serious face:

"Are you baking cookies?"

Am I baking cookies? Which part of every single ingredient gave it away?

She did not say "Cool, you are making cookies" or "Wow, I love cookies", no she clearly asked if I was making cookies.

Although I was made fun of at 400 pounds, I learned very quickly to give it back. You kind of have to be.

I am good at quick comebacks. Incredibly good.

Here is what I wanted to say:

"No, I am building a house. All I need is a screwdriver!"
"What is a cookie?"
"No, my wife and I are trying to have a baby."
"Nope, getting ready for Halloween!"
"Chocolate Chips? Shoot, I meant to get potato chips!"
"No, I have a cold!"
"Trying a new diet!"
"Cookie? Do you know the street value of All-Purpose Flour?"
"Are you a detective?"

Yet, I looked at her, and said in a nice way:

"Yes I am. Yum!!!!"

She smiled, my wife was happy, and I realized that a snotty comment was not worth ruining a Sunday.

Jared

2009-12-03T15:03:00.004-05:00

The Jared picture has been everywhere now.

I first saw it on Perez Hilton, and then it was on ET, and then other networks.

It is not really a shock. Lately on his commercials, his face was looking a little bigger. His shirts were not tucked in. Sometimes they would show him shoulders up, and in the latest commercial, there was a table in front of him.

Everyone struggles with weight loss. It is not a fix for life.

Weight struggles will be around longer than Subway, Twitter, Facebook, Tony Horton and Alli.

Yet, nothing angered me more than how AOL depicted him on That's Fit.

You would think that a blog that deals with health and weight related issues would not use phrases like "toting some extra b aggage -- and not the kind on two wheels either." and "But straying too far from his staple of turkey and veggie subs has obviously caused his waistline to spread as quickly as mayonnaise."

Yet, they did not. They blasted him like everyone else in the media has, and they are supposed to be on our side.

That is how I know people do not get it. People do not understand.

No one is cured of obesity. No one throws there hands in the air and reigns supreme on "Portion Control".

We all fight it. We all stay in the ring as long as we can.

Jared has. For 10 years, he has battled. He has been an outspoken advocate to eliminate childhood obesity.
He has written a book and inspired others.
He has done more than you and I have.

Yet he is gaining weight. What is a 30 pound gain to you is a million pounds to the gainer.

Trust me, I know.

I would never blast the guy.

I am "The Anti-Jared" because I can not lose and maintain a loss of 200 pounds by eating a sub. I changed the way I eat.

I have proven that. I love my name.

I also have an incredible respect and admiration for Jared. For what he has done. For what he can do. For the people he has helped in life.

I am proud to be a 200 pound loser, just like Jared. I hope to inspire as many people as he has, although I doubt I will.

I hope he pulls through this. I know how hard it can be. I support him 100%.

And I will not blast Jared or make cracks. I know where he have been. I know where he is now.

The media does not. That's Fit does not. Perez Hilton does not.

So for everyone who is giving Jared a hard time now, I challenge you to walk in his size 60 pants 10 years ago.

I challenge you to deal with the struggle of weight gain.
I challenge you to deal with the scrutiny.

I have done all three. Good luck.

Sniffles and Snuggles

2009-12-03T09:15:00.003-05:00

Today is my birthday!

That is right, now I am 34. Mid Thirties. Or, I could say Thirty and Flirty (wink wink) yet 34 and a snore sounds better.

I feel a little lazy. I woke up at 8. I usually wake up at 6.

I stole the title for this blog from the first blog I saw on the side of my blogroll.

Yet, I am about to go to the gym. After I am going to buy some chicken and squash to cook. I am going to spend some time with my family and then workout again tonight.

I never tell you all thank you, so I am saying it now. You know me from my 500 words I write about Fiber. You know me from my pictures. You know me from my sporadic comments.

Yet, as much as I inspire some of you, you do the same. The encouragement about my blog really made this year great.

Coming back and back to my blog to see what I write next shows that I have talent.

And for this I say thank you.

You are a big reason I am having a great birthday!

The irritation of CH in front of EAT

2009-12-02T11:06:00.002-05:00

I have never been a fan of cheaters.

I think that people who cheat on their significant others are weak people. They do not have the courage to get out of a poor relationship (or are in a good relationship and make selfish moves) and they make decisions for their own personal happiness while hurting others.

I think people who cheat at work are weak people. They can not get the results they need, so they "alter" numbers or people to get "false" results. It makes it harder for others to achieve those results.

I think people who cheat in school are weak people. They could not take the time and effort to study of a test, so they get the answers from someone else. It stinks when you work hard for a B and someone else gets an A for doing nothing.

With all this being said, I do not believe there is "cheating" in any eating plan.

In fact, it makes absolutely no sense to me when someone says they "cheat" on a diet.

There is no perfect diet out there, although we wish there was. But.....

What is great is the way you eat.
You know what you can handle and what you can not.
You know what is "clean" to you and what holidays you will struggle with.
You know how your body reacts. Maybe you do great with portion control, maybe you do not.
Maybe you hate working out, maybe you would rather sacrifice going to the gym.

Yet, people always say they "cheated" on their diet.

It sounds naughty and spicy.

Like you should wear a leather jacket and smoke in the bathroom when you are not supposed to.

A "cheat" day sounds exotic. Think about it, a day full of indulgence and pleasure.

Anything you want!

But so many plans out there are designed to eat what you want. That is why they are successful. Weight Watchers made their billions on the premise you can eat what you want, just smaller portions. The one thing I do love about WW is that there is no such thing as "cheating".

So why say "cheat"? You are not cheating, you are living your life. Maybe you are struggling, maybe you are doing well. But a piece of chocolate will not make you gain 200 pounds.

Yet, a piece of chocolate will make me eventually gain 200 pounds.

So stop saying the word "cheat" on your plan!

9 times out of 10, you should just say you are not losing weight.

I am different

2009-12-01T13:05:00.002-05:00

It is hard for me to believe that I have been on this journey for nearly two years now!

I lost most of the weight the first nine months, and maintained the rest since.

Out of all the pictures I have, the weight loss, and working out, the most asked question is:

"So you do not splurge at all? You work out so much, you do not treat yourself to a burger or ice cream?"

Here is the way I look at it:

In two years:

I had a baby
I got promoted at my old job, and I am doing very well at my new one
Inspired people with my story
Able to hug my wife
Put on 32-34 waist pants
Wear medium anything!
Work out six days a week, now know as an active person
Not tired all day
Have eaten different fruits and vegetables that I have not ever dreamed of
Gained self-confidence in areas such as writing and being a father

Also in two years:

McDonald's menu is virtually the same as it was
Burger King's menu is virtually the same as it was
Taco Bell's menu is virtually the same as it was
Ben and Jerry's has not come out with a flavor I have not had
Chinese food is the same

I would have missed out on life if I would have stayed the same. Everything that kept me down can stay the same.

I am glad I am different

Only a pound loss!

2009-11-29T06:46:00.003-05:00

Once you lose weight, you want to help others.

You want to give advice and steer people in the right direction.

Well, it is not as easy as it sounds sometimes.

You give advice, and then you realize it is the same advice you hear anywhere.

I have written about it before.

People ask me about what I eat, how I work out, etc. If it would help people with weight loss, I would post it, but I do not think it would. It is not scientific, just basic.

To me, weight loss is not about what you put in your mouth.

No two people lose weight the exact same way.

Everybody is different. Some want the occasional "treat", some are "hardcore clean eaters". Some love the gym, some do Zumba at home.

I do think it is unfair sometimes that I do not give honest advice.

Side note- To say you are a weight loss expert is to say you are "The master of the Slot Machine". Just because you hit a jackpot does not mean you can do it every time or help others win a jackpot. I am no master, just someone who stuck with the same program for two years.

The one piece of advice that I can give, which might sound weird from me although it shouldn't, is this:

A loss is a loss, and do not ever get discouraged that you "Only lost __________"

My best weeks were not the weeks where I lost 7-10 pounds. The best ones were the ones I lost .6-2 pounds.

Why? Because in those weeks, I realized I can do this for the rest of my life.

I know the feeling though, You work so hard all week. You have read blog after blog about people who have put out 5-10 pound losses. You watch "The Biggest Loser" where you see huge losses.
You get on the scale and you "Only lost one pound!"

You question the way you eat.
You question if this is worth it.
You question your program that has worked for so many weeks.

Realistically, losing a pound is awesome.

You are close to maintaining, which is the hardest part of weight loss. You dropped a pound, and you have done everything right.

In life, no one did not get a date because they weighed 212 instead of 209. No one did not get the promotion because they were 201 instead of 199. Yet, every week, those numbers destroy our mentality. Sure there is a difference from 400 to 200 pounds, but why do we sweat the small stuff?

This is where people start to fail. This is where I have failed for so long. I never looked at the big picture.

When your mentality is destroyed, your mind wonders.

You look at the calories you consume and lower them. You look at other diets and try them out. You get confused at the gym, and try so many programs.

Yet, you lost a pound!

You succeeded but feel like a failure. Everyone else is doing the right thing except for you.

I do not like the term "Shake it up". When people say that, it means they are going to try anything to lose "more" weight.

Maybe you are different, I am not.

So be proud of those losses. No matter how small.

If I would have realized a one pound loss is better than a 250 pound gain, I would have been successful years ago.

In an instant

2009-11-26T12:02:00.002-05:00

Earlier this week, I was coming home from work. It was a closing shift, so I left around 1am.

While driving home on the highway, I noticed two bright lights in front of me. A car was going the wrong way on the highway, right at me.

I swerved off the road quickly, and luckily did not hurt myself, anyone else or my car.

I immediately called 911 to alert them of someone driving the wrong way. They could have been drunk, on medication, or someone who did not know any better.

A couple of hours after the incident, my mind started to wonder.

I was only a half a mile away from a bridge.
If I was on the bridge, I would not be able to swerve out of the way.
I also thought about if I did not react quickly enough.

Then I realized something......

Two years ago, if I did not change my life I would not have to have worried about this. If I did not eat differently, if I did not work out, if I did not have a different mentality, I do not know how my life would have turned out.

I might have been divorced.
I might have been unemployed.
I might have been dead.

I would not have a wonderful son. I would not have wonderful followers.

But I did make that decision, and now I love everything that life throws at me, no matter how difficult.

Everyone takes today to tell people how thankful they are.

I will take the other 364 days to do that.

Public Service Announcement

2009-11-23T21:50:00.002-05:00

I was hungry the other day, so I put a spaghetti squash in the microwave.

After eight minutes, I heard a big boom. The squash exploded in the microwave.

It took me a while to clean up the mess, and I could not eat any of the squash.

I thought you would like to hear this on Thanksgiving Week.

I mean, it is sometimes dangerous to eat healthy.