0ddness Bl0g

To My American Chums

2009-07-04T13:00:00.002+01:00

Happy Independance Day.
Please don't blow your limbs off or anything silly ;)

I Take It Back

2009-07-04T07:42:00.001+01:00

One of the "cunning tactics" I've considered to take out my Demon Weed From Hell in the garden has been FIRE!

However, I am now having second thoughts...

House wrecked as man kills weeds with flame thrower

A German gardener's house was left a smouldering wreck on Friday after he set it on fire while trying to get rid of the weeds with the help of a flame-thrower, police said. Skip related content

After accidentally setting his hedge alight, the 54-year-old's garden shed was soon also engulfed in flames and despite efforts to extinguish the fire with a garden hose, the blaze spread to the roof of the house.

Seven firemen were needed to put out the blaze in Tangstedt near Hamburg in northern Germany, which occurred on Thursday. Police said the house was now uninhabitable.

Flame-throwers are used widely in agriculture and also in gardening, but generally only for removing weeds from between cracks in paving in driveways and patios.

I'll get the gloves back on then ;)

Tagged - Lotsa Questions!

2009-07-03T07:20:00.000+01:00

I've not done a taggy thing in quite a while, so when Laney hit me, how could I refuse!

-What is your current obsession?
Hmm, I don't "do" obsessions, but I can't stop playing with my new phone!

-What is your weirdest obsession?
I'm obsessed with Glasses/Cups/Plates being washed and dried in a certain order and stacked in a certain way. I'll even go so far as re-arranging someone elses stuff!

-What are you wearing today?
Currently, just in boxers, but I've got my shorts and teeshirt ready!

-What’s for dinner?
It's 7am, and I don't know if I'm doing breakfast yet!

-What would you eat for your last meal?
One of Kellies hot curries. Not only is it gorgeous, but it'd give the people putting me to death one hell of a shock ;)

-What’s the last thing you bought?
A loaf of bread... Fascinating, no?

-What are you listening to right now?
Sally snoring beside me.

-What do you think of the person who tagged you?
Slightly deranged, perhaps ;)

-If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
A nice big place in the middle of a forest somewhere would be rather nice - but it has to have all the amenities ;)

-If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Back to bed, possibly ;)

-Which language do you want to learn?
Would love to learn Latin one day.

-What’s your favourite quote (for now)?
"Procrastinaters Unite! Maybe tomorrow..."

-What is your favourite colour?
Dark Blue

-What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
I'm a man, I have clothes. Whatever's on top of my pile, that's what gets worn.

-What is your dream job?
Something I can do from home, make lots of money doing it, working with people all over the world.

-Describe your personal style?
Lazy? That'll-Do?

-What’s your favourite tree?
Great big Weeping Willow you can hide inside and ignore the world.

-What are you going to do after this?
Get the kids up and sorted.

-What’s your favourite fruit?
Bananas, probably...

-What inspires you?
My brain kinda fires off randomly...

-What were the Banana Splits?
Two dogs, a cat and what appeared to be a woolly mammoth, all messed up on things they bought from shady types in dark alleyways.

-What are you currently reading?
The Redemption of Althulus by David Eddings

-Go to your bookshelf, take down the first book with a red spine you see, turn to page 26 and type out the first line:
"Do you plan to resurrect Torak to give you a hand?"
Sorceress of Darshiva, again by David Eddings (I've been reading through his books again!)

-What delighted you the most today?
Listening to the birds prattle away at 5am

-By what criteria do you judge a person?
I don't judge people. If I like them, the so be it, if not, then so be it.

-What item could you not live without?
My computer probably, followed closely by my mobile!

-As they both seem to be making a comeback – Blur or Oasis?
Blur; they seemed to enjoy what they were doing, while those silly northern gits always seemed to be gobbing off and pissed off.

I tag pretty much anyone that fancies having a go :)

My Monsters At The Park

2009-07-02T17:02:00.001+01:00

Been playing at the park with the wee ones, chilling out, watching them exhaust themselves... They're growing up so fast.

Random Thoughts

2009-07-02T07:37:00.001+01:00

Stolen from.. er.. somewhere.

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
My Reality Check bounced.
He who has, so shall he who. - Old Norwegian Proverb
Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Good news is just life’s way of keeping you off balance.
Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.
God did not create the world in 7 days; he messed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter.
I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is improving.
Stupidity got us into this mess - why can’t it get us out?
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.
I don’t get even, I get odder.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I considered atheism but there weren’t enough holidays.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
I am having an out of money experience.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
Practice safe eating-always use condiments.
A day without sunshine is like night.
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

Advertising

2009-07-01T07:31:00.001+01:00

Something that irks me (for I am irked) is adverts; the various everything that is plugged away on our TVs and Radios and even our Internets (if you don't have an adblocker that is!) However, what irks me most about adverts, aside from their invasiveness, is the outright LIES they tell.

Case in point, last week while shopping, I was following my usual routine of "If it's on special offer..." when I came across a NEW! IMPROVED! toothpaste. Not that something can be both new AND improved, but I digress.

Now, I'd seen the ad on the telly, about how they had harnessed the power of Oxygen to power through your mouth, and listened to the "members of public" say how they could feel it moving between their teeth, how they could feel it working and what-not. I thought nothing of it, but, seeing a stack of them for 99p, AND considering toothpaste was on my list, I grabbed a tube.

When I came to using it, I was ready for fizzing, foaming bubbles - more than anything, I expected to look like a bloodthirsty rabid were-person, foam running down my face.

Though, to be fair, that's how I usually end up when brushing my teeth.

But this, I thought, would be different. I wasn't overly worried about stuff powering between my teeth, or feeling it working. It was all about the foam for me.

And let me tell you. There was no Rabid-Dan. There was no powering through the mouth. No feeling it work. It felt like I was brushing my teeth with toothpaste. In fact, looking at the toothpaste itself, it actually appeared there was grit in it. I suppose that's the harness power of Oxygen.

Which leads me to my point. Kinda. And the ickle image up on this post. All Adverts Lie.

I drive Kellie nuts when we're sat down watching TV. See, she watches the adverts, and sees adverts. Me, however, I watch for the small print which most ads seem to come with these days, and they always make me chuckle. And I always read them aloud.

The ones that really get me are the ones for you women-sorts. "See how our silly brush and black dye can increase your lashes by a BILLION percent!" Followed by some washed up actress/model fluttering eyelashes that appear to be made from lead. However, in the small print it reads:

Enhanced in Post Production. Lash Inserts Used

Which, basically, should read as "We photoshopped the shit out of this image. Also, these are fake lashes. LOL."

Car adverts, Bank adverts, Foodstuff adverts, Holidays, Loans, I'm-Old-And-Don't-Want-To-Be adverts, I'm-A-Twat-That-Fell-Over-So-I'm-Suing adverts... So many have small print, catches, clauses, addendums.

I love the ones where they say "The most popular THING of all THINGS!" and in the small print you get "According to a survey of 27 people, 89% agreed" Twenty-Seven people? That's less people than most school classes! You get more people on a bus than they surveyed to see if their THING is the best of all THINGS! It's like they interviewed people, and the first 23/24 said "Yeah, I like your THING" then the next few said, "Actually, I prefer their THING!" so to be safe, they stopped interviewing people.

It's no wonder I felt let-down by my toothpaste.

Musical Monday #72 - Into Dust

2009-06-30T20:32:00.000+01:00

This was one of those songs. It's taken me a while to find it, but none the less, I found it.

As usual, a song I kept hearing was eluding me - this was from the new Virgin Media (bastards!) advert with the guy on the bus/train, having the scene change around him.

But it's not the advert for a useless bunch of tits that interested me, it was the music. Nice, quite, chilling and relaxing.

And, before you all go "Blah blah not Monday!" I know I know, I just forgot. As usual.

Anyway, the song is Into Dust by a ~~group~~ er, ~~singer~~ oops band called Mazzy Star.

Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Beside me today
Around broken in two
'Till you eyes shed
Into dust
Like two strangers
Turning into dust
'Till my hand shook with the way I fear

I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate

It was you breathless and tall
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
And two strangers turning into dust
Turning into dust

Go On, Gramps!

2009-06-30T19:34:00.000+01:00

This is the sort of thing I like to see in the news...

Burglar Gets Battered By Brave Pensioner
3:43pm UK, Tuesday June 30, 2009

A knife-wielding burglar got the shock of his life when he was left battered and bruised by a 72-year-old former boxer.

Burglar Gregory McCalium got on the wrong side of ex-boxer Frank Corti

Gregory McCalium, 24, was punched twice in the face after breaking into the home of Frank Corti.

The OAP said he was compelled to defend himself and his wife after McCalium threatened them at their home in Botley, Oxford.

McCalium had thrown a knife at the pensioner - which missed. At that point the 72-year-old used his boxing skills to stop the would-be attacker in his tracks.

"I had to restrain him before he could go and get the knife," Mr Corti told the Oxford Mail.

"I was scared when he first threw the knife, but most people would have acted in the same way.

"If you can't defend what's yours, where are we at?"

Oxford Crown Court heard that McCalium confronted the couple after a row over noise levels.

He was drunk after attending a party when he forced his way into Mr Corti's home at 8am on August 19 last year.

McCalium threw the knife towards Mr Corti but the former Royal Engineer dodged the blade and then punched him.

Detective Constable Jon Shaw, from Thames Valley Police, said: "The elderly man, who at the time was at home with his wife, was able to subdue the man until the police arrived.

"Fortunately no one was more injured in this incident but this was still a terrifying situation and McCalium must now pay for his actions."

McCalium, a cocktail barman, was sentenced to four-and-a-half years in jail after being convicted of aggravated burglary.

Mr Corti said he was "very pleased" with the outcome.

"Our life was severely disrupted by the incident and we are pleased he won't be troubling us for a few years," he added.

Of course, knowing the way the world is going, how long till the bad-guy sues the good guy for some pathetic reason - and win...

Kellies New Addition

2009-06-29T22:44:00.001+01:00

All together now... Awww! Well, rather Arwen ;)

Just One Post...

2009-06-26T16:32:00.001+01:00

Some are sad, some are devestated, some are just getting on with their lives, but I suppose by now, everyone knows that Michael Jackson died last night.

I was surprised when I saw it on the news last night, and watched as various news agencies slowly confirmed he had died. It made me feel oooold mostly, knowing that this singer that has been around since I was a kid has died.

What I do find interesting is how much coverage it's getting. The Sky News front page is pretty much all about him - news stories, articles, photo galleries - to find any proper news, you have to scroll waaaay down the page. And no doubt it'll be like this for the next week or so.

And, of course, he was due to play loads of dates in July at the O2 Arena - and the organisers have since said that everyone will get a full refund. What I have to laugh at though, is the people that paid hundreds and thousands of pounds to get tickets off Ebay, that will only get the original cost of the ticket refunded to them - assuming they can even get it refunded as they aren't the ones that purchased it originally...

I bet there are people crying this morning over that little fact than the fact he died.

You have to wonder how people are going to remember him, though. Will it be the "King of Pop" or the "Crazy Recluse" or the "Guy That May or May Not Have Messed With Kids" And no, I am not getting into the whole Did He/Didn't He arguement. I suppose time will tell how he is remembered, and we can speculate all we like.

I wonder how long it'll take the conspiracy nuts to come out with either A) He was murdered, B) He committed suicide, or C) He's not dead but wanted to escape the crazy life and live out his days elsewhere.

Though, how he'll blend in with that face is beyond me ;)

Paying to Commit Murder?

2009-06-25T12:45:00.000+01:00

Just... Wow. Still, maybe it'll put the pirates off knowing that next boat could be full of equally crazy people, but I doubt it.

Luxury yachts offer pirate hunting cruises

Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed private yachts off the Somali coast.

Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders.

When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.

Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.

The yachts travel from Djibouti in Somalia to Mombasa in Kenya.

The ships deliberately cruise close to the coast at a speed of just five nautical miles in an attempt to attract the interest of pirates.

"They are worse than the pirates," said Russian yachtsman Vladimir Mironov. "At least the pirates have the decency to take hostages, these people are just paying to commit murder," he continued.

And no, I didn't see the pirate program on Sky with Whats-His-Face-With-The-Bald-Head-From-Eastenders ;)

Some Random Musings

2009-06-24T07:20:00.000+01:00

First off, I want to send lots of good luck stuff to Kathy & George. George has recently been diagnosed with cancer, and is starting his Chemotherapy treatments to shift the nasty, so fingers crossed for them and their family. I've known Kathy for years - she's one of the first heart mums in the States to help me out, and one of those that got in trouble with me and some others after the great Teletubbie debate of '01... So lets keep everything crossed for them!

Otherwise, yep, I'm back home again as are the wee kiddie-winks. They've been in Holland with their mum for eleven days, and WOW I missed them! They had a great time and are all kinds of good. I hid out at Kellies for the entire time they were away, and she didn't kill me (or, she attempted to do so and I didn't notice!) but I had a lovely time. We were in and out at various points during the week, but I'm now chilled and rested in order to face the last stint in the school year. Only three or four weeks left, and then it's done for the summer.

Last night I couldn't sleep very well, but not for any real reason. My ribs were aching (I broke them many years ago, and sometimes, if I've been sitting awkwardly, they ache) and my back was sore, so I couldn't get comfy. When I dozed off, I dreamed of completely random things, then woke up again... At about four this morning, I laid in bed with some very deep thoughts... Thoughts I may have to investigate today:

Do spiders have kidneys?
Can a snake be epileptic?
What is the recommended calorie intake of a flea or an ant?
What does a wasp with a cold sound like - or are bugs too small to get a cold?

As you can see, my brain was really off on a tangent (I should rename them Dan-gents) and I was just thinking about bugs and critters for some reason. I've known of cats with colds, epileptic dogs, horses with seizures and suchlike - but do insects, arachnids and reptiles have such maladies. I then went on to wonder things like, do ants even HAVE kidneys or a spleen or the normal organs found in us mammilian types?

Of course, by now it's nearly six in the morning, so I decided enough was enough, got up, had coffee and breakfast - and watched a spider on my kitchen window wander around, wondering to myself "What's his BMI?" However, I didn't ask - it's not polite.

I'm not mad.

Aaaanyway, moving on before Those In White Coats arrive, I'm still pissing around trying to decide on a mobile phone. It's either a really spanky new one, or a slightly older one BUT get a free gift with it like a laptop, Wii or whatever... Choices choices. If I go for a model 12-18 months old, I can get a Wii with a Wii Fit board. However, the longer I take to decide, the more pissed off I get at this crappy old brick I am using. Good job I'm not indecisive ;)

Anyway, today I'm heading into town to meet my girlie, have a mooch around the shops, grab coffee, and then my mum is meeting up with us for lunch. The weather is glorious still, my legs no longer resemble milk bottles - now they are going to the early stages of chocolate milk which is something.

Life is good, even if I am going slightly bonkers!

Musical Monday #71 - Jai Ho

2009-06-15T07:11:00.001+01:00

The last time I admitted I liked something along this sort of theme was a certain song by Miley Cirus.

And I got ripped for it.

A Lot.

Well, a lot of a lot ;)

So this time, I'm not going to blabber on, I like this song by The Pussycat Dolls!

Late-Night Phone Calls

2009-06-11T10:58:00.001+01:00

There is one thing in life that always makes my heart hammer like it's going out of fashion, and that's a phone call in the dead of night. Even as a kid, I learned that a phone ringing at night invariably meant there was someone with bad news on the othe end of the line.

I can vividly remember laying in bed as a kid, and being woken by the phone ringing, followed by sleepy voices, followed by crying in my mums room. Old relatives being sick and passing away in the night. This happened several times while I was growing up, and not once did a late-night phone call bring good news.

Even when I struck out into the world on my own, the phone ringing late at night usually meant something bad was happening somewhere. I recall getting a phone call at 11pm one night, first from Gemma sounding very very strange (Yes, even stranger than usual!), crying and sobbing about being followed through London, then the line going dead, only to be called back by the Police, who had found her collapsed on a train platform, then woke up disorientated, getting all fighty, and puking on them.. THAT was a panic-filled journey to London in the dead of night.

Even as a proper grown up, when Bethy was in hospital, getting the phone ringing in the Ronald McDonald House room, to be told by a nurse or a doctor that something was wrong...

So, imagine my surprise last night for my mobile to blast me awake. For a moment, I thought it might have been Kellie - I'm always telling her, "if you have a bad dream or can't sleep, just call me" but the number was a London number that I didn't recognise. My heart was in my throat when I answered it, and I could hear someone there, but it went dead. Muttering, I rolled over, and a few minutes later, it went off again. Same story, no one talking but I could hear someone there.

And that was it, 3.15 in the morning, and no more ringing phone.

Do you think I could get back to sleep? I was knackered anyway, but sleep evaded me, so I flopped on the sofa, watching the fish tank, and then when I started to doze, Jaysen got up. It was seven o' clock.

Now, I am willing to accept that it might have been someone trying to call someone with a similar number, but at least have the courtesy to apologise and say something. If it was a crank caller, and if I get late night calls again, I'm going to report it, but for today, I'm tired and unfocused, but keeping busy.

The kids are being collected this evening, and tomorrow morning they're off with Jo and Co for their holiday - which means I'm not going to see them for ten whole days... So once they're collected, me and Sally are off to Canvey to loiter around my girlies house ;)

Assuming I can stay awake, that is!

Wow... A Year!

2009-06-09T09:00:00.051+01:00

For those of you that haven't been keeping track - that is, everyone that's not me - today is a very important date. This time one year ago, I was heading to Canvey Island with a million thoughts rushing through my head, with the aim of saying "You know what, I'm falling for you, let's see what happens" to my friend, Kellie.

However, no matter how eloquent I can sound here, the reality of it all was weeks in the making, and I didn't know what on earth I was doing.

I had advice - I had plenty of advice! When I went to see my friend Kellie in May, my head was analysing everything, trying to work out if I was seeing signs that someone I was starting like, was liking me in return. However, being a complete idiot (like you didn't know that!), I didn't know what I was doing.

At all.

Many times, I would text Ruth or Mand, and say "Arrrrgh what does THIS or THAT mean?!" and usually I would get an amused reply. I spent the weekend with Mand & Jack, plus Jennifer, Lynzi and Becky - and all weekend was asking them what I should do or what did they think... All the while texting Kellie and seeing how she was doing.

The week after that, I developed ManFlu, and for some reason, Kellie came over to "see how I was" and we sat there, inches apart on my sofa, watching cartoons. Being as MANLY as I am, I decided to tell her just how I felt about her, and, sucking up the courage...

I put my little finger on her thigh and rubbed it ever-so gently. She didn't move away, she didn't slap me, she didn't call the police and have me done for harrassment. She left a while later (to get her kids from school, not because I touched her!) and I stood on the doorstep and watched her leave, my heart hammering.

That weekend, Kellie went to Kerrys brothers wedding, and we spent the evening texting one another. THAT was when we both sort of came to our senses. She admitted she missed me, and I admitted that I missed her, and it was all very sappy and stuff...

So, I arranged to come over and see her on Monday, the 9th June.

The rest, as they say, is history. We met up, we went to her local pub, and sat in the sun, touching each other in a shy, not-sure-what-to-expect manner. I can't really remember what we said, I just remember sitting facing one another and smiling like an idiot. I also remember the sunburn I got while sitting there, but I don't really mind - it hid my constant blushing!!

When we announced to the world that yes, in fact, we had started "dating" everyone replyed with a resounding "WELL DUH!" and "FINALLY!"

See, over the course of weeks, everyone saw us together - and we maintained constantly, we were just going out and meeting as friends. Which is true - we were old friends meeting for lunch, or a beer, or going over our old stomping grounds. Whenever I used the phrase "I was talking to Kellie" or "Kellie said" or "Me and Kellie did this" and people looked at me with that knowing look, which I always reply to with "No no, we're just friends"

Yes yes, you're all geniuses.

So, here I am, one year later! We keep using comments like "I'm surprised you haven't killed me yet" and similar, but it's all good natured... Even though I AM surprised she's not killed me yet. I am a strange sort ;)

So, to my Kellie. Thank you for being mine. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for being there. I love you, Kellie, so so much. I know I tell you all the time, and I never say it just for the sake of it. I love you completely and utterly, and wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me.

I love you, my beautiful Kellie.

x

A Strange Weekend

2009-06-08T09:52:00.000+01:00

This weekend, as the title might suggest, has been rather strange...

For the first time in almost a year, I've not been with Kellie. In fact, this weekend has been the longest gap between seeing her. If you're on Facebook with me, you might have seen the pictures I've been uploading of Kellie and her best friend, Kerry, away for the weekend.

The last time I saw her was Wednesday. Thursday she was getting all her stuff together, and then Friday morning, she toddled off to Bognor. Today - Monday - she's heading home, and has loads of stuff to do, and as such, I won't get to see her till tomorrow. FIVE days.

OK, I know it sounds sad and sappy, but I've really missed her this weekend. Usually, I am over there Friday evening, and spend the entire weekend with her - and of late, I've been staying till Monday afternoon. Usually I see her on Wednesdays during the week as well, so there is never more than a two-day gap between seeing her.

Don't get me wrong, spending time on my own is good, and I've had a really lazy weekend. I made a large curry on Friday afternoon, and have lived off that over the weekend, coupled with toast, chocolate and copious amounts of tea.

Anyway... Kellie is on the road now, heading back to Essex, but I won't see her until tomorrow now. So, like a sad little panda, I'm moping around till I get to see my gorgeous girl again.

Incidentally, tomorrow is our first anniversary of being an "official" couple :D

Musical Monday #70 - Accident & Emergency

2009-06-08T07:03:00.002+01:00

As mentioned before on various Musical Monday posts, I often hear a song, think about it for a while, then forget it... Only to repeat the same process over and over and over.

It might be a song in a movie, on a TV program, on the radio - even hearing it in someones car as they go past blaring it at +350% bass.

Such is the case with this song - if you watch BBC3, you may have seen a show called Bizarre ER, which basically shows the strange stuff that goes through the various Casualty Departments around the country. The theme music always catches my ear, but seeing as I usually see it late at night, I forget about it.

Not so this week! Me and Kellie watched some during the week, and I have been repeating it over and over in my head, until I got to where I am now!

The video is a wee bit strange, but then, I think that's a "thing" for a lot of videos of late... But it's not about the video. Patrick Wolf - Accident & Emergency:

Irony...

2009-05-30T12:00:00.019+01:00

I can be quite sympathetic at times. Sarcastic with it maybe, but I DO have my sympathetic moments...

Stop laughing.

However, there are times when my sympathy is not only so far-flung it makes me chuckle, but I get pushed the other way, and firmly believe that not only does the person NOT deserve sympathy, but that they also deserve exactly what they get.

And reading Sky News earlier, I found myself in such a anti-sympathetic situation:

Bull Horn Horror: Matador Gored In Chest

A Spanish matador is fighting for his life after being gored during a bullfight in Madrid.

The bullfight was held during Madrid's annual San Isidro fiesta.

Thousands of spectators watched in horror as Israel Lancho was attacked by the sixth bull at the Las Ventas bullring in the capital.

Reports said Mr Lancho reached the bullring surgery still conscious despite being speared by one of the bull's horns.

Spanish matador Israel Lancho is gored as he tries to kill a bull

The 30-year-old had emergency surgery under general anaesthetic on the 25cm-deep wound sustained upwards in the chest area.

The Daily Mail said his gaping wound was nearly eight inches wide, with Spanish press claiming it was a miracle the bull's horn had missed his heart.

The bullfight was held as part of Madrid's annual San Isidro fiesta, which honours the city's patron saint.

Local media reported the matador was in a very serious condition at the Clinica Virgen del Mar in the Spanish capital following the surgery.

Now, is it just me that thinks this guy got what he deserved? The pictures on Sky show this guy all done up with the bull stabbing him in the chest - however, there's not mention of the sharp pointy things stuck in the bull, nor the fact that its skin is slick with blood flowing from it's injuries. Let's be honest, if you're going to try killing a bull, you've got to accept that it's got sharp pointy bits.

Or, in other words, if you're going to stab a bull to death, in front of a crowd, then you probably deserve to be impaled.

Twas A Time of Busy!

2009-05-29T10:46:00.000+01:00

As you may have noticed, posting here has been a teeny tiny bit... Absent. It's not that I don't love any of you any more, it's just been that I don't think I've had a quiet half hour in ages! Ages and ages, in fact!

Not only that, but Musical Monday is causing me grief thanks to YouTube sticking the proverbial middle finger up at the UK Viewers and not allowing us to watch music videos. Granted, I could probably dig around their site and find the song I want, but, ya know... lazy ;)

As mentioned, things are rather le busy... Busy, coupled with some germs, being out and about, trying to keep the house tidy, trying to find what could be considered a garden outside, entertaining kids.

A few weeks ago, Kellie got poorly - really poorly - and having ~~Avian Flu or Swine Flu or Man Flu or~~ something else icky was bad enough - a few days after feeling better, it came back again and knocked the already knackered girlie right in the nogging. She was a poorly girl.

Thanks to my astounding manly immune system, I actually avoided the worst of it, and only spent a few days on antibiotics feeling like pants.

The garden - once again - decided to sprout that bloody evil spawn of all things Lovecraftian, Japanese Knotweed. I noticed it popping up in early April, and thought "Not on my watch, sonny-jim" and went out there and pulled the bloody stuff up. Five-Six weeks later, that is, last Thursday, I went back out there, and pulled up the TWELVE FOOT PLANTS. While I was doing it, Tam was running around, and vanished inside the tall green forest.

Hell, I was missing in the tall green forest.

if anyone wants some of Satans plant, let me know, and I'll sacrifice a goat and send you some.

Anyways, everything else is fine and dandy... I'm not going to cry about my mobile phone that died, nor the fact I'm using a five year old mobile (An accursed Nokia, no less!!) that was given to Tam as a toy a couple of years back. Stupid phone. Lucky for me, my contract is up for renewal any time now, but being me, I'm waiting for the Sony Ericsson W995 to be released - which should be next week.

The wee squishy kids are fine and dandy - I found Tam amongst the knotweed eventually - and Jaysen is still as smart as ever.

Still, hopefully from next week, I'm going to be back on here spouting my rubbish and annoying the blogosphere. And, fingers crossed, figure out what to do with Musical Mondays... Which will probably just mean finding dodgy user-made videos. I'll survive ;)

Busy Busy Busy!

2009-04-02T10:19:00.000+01:00

As you may (or may not) have noticed, things have been very quiet here on 0ddness... Well, the quietness here does not reflect on life in general.

March has been completely manic. What with birthdays (plenty of birthdays!), Mothers Day, clearing through the house in a pathetic effort of spring cleaning, a germ attack, and generally being busy as hell, I've not had much chance to sit and actually write anything.

I am SO glad that school breaks up for a couple of weeks tomorrow.

On the bright side, despite being busy (and knackering myself out a lot!) things are going very well. The kids are both doing very well, I'm ticking over nicely, Kellie is fine, and her kids are both good too. In just a few days, me and Kellie have been "officially" dating for 10 months, and this month marks the year of when we started talking and socialising.

Awwww *mush*

Tamsyn turned four (a post is in-progress, saved as a draft for some reason!), and Gemma hit thirty - which was celebrated with many amusing pictures of her as a wee one. Sadly, I was in several of them too which was.... nice... I've also been given some photos of my 18th birthday which shows some shockingly-young friends!

I've been having a mission with Musical Mondays of late, thanks to a stupid royalties-money-thingie has been going on, which now prevents YouTube broadcasting musical videos in the UK, so I'm trying to look at other sites to use and suchlike.

Anyways, next week the kids will be with Jo, which means I'll be vegging out with Kellie. The second week I'll have the kids, and be flicking between Kellies and mine, so no doubt it'll be a little quiet for a while yet ;)

I considered an April Fool, but after some of the other attempts I saw online, I didn't really carry on. I think most of the world expects the pages they read to have some sort of jape on them, so I decided against it. Besides, I'd have prolly broken something anyway ;)

And now... Housework!

Tagged - Questions

2009-03-11T16:29:00.000Z

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing?
Not really a fan of the ol' Blue Cheese, but not sure I've had it as a salad dressing.

2. Favorite late night snack?
Depends what I have in and what my mood is...

3. Do you own a gun?
I don't even own a glue gun ;)

4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop?
Any sort of flavoured Latte, though I do love a nice Chai Latte

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Yarp; regardless of it being a general checkup, being poorly, to get results, a medical... Blergh.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
As long as they are decent ones (Meat, not eyelids) then aaaaall good!

7. Favorite Christmas song?
Depends if I've had them hammered in my general direction since late-October - by Xmas, I hate all of them!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Tea or Coffee is all good ;)

9. Can you do push-ups?
I can prolly do A push up. Plural might be asking a lot ;)

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My rune necklace - otherwise, I don't really wear any.

11. Favorite hobby?
Playing WoW, or Texting people, or Blogging...

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
I don't think so - I start doing something and... Ooooh hey look at this cool rock!

13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
My weight - despite losing a shed-load in the last few months, I still hate it.

14. The last disease you contracted?
I don't do diseases... Germs yes, diseases no.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment ...
- How can my body be so hot, but my feet so bloody cold
- What to cook for dinner... Hmmm...
- No, I've not had an accident on the road or at work in the last three years, thank you stupid adverts...

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
- Tea
- Coffee
- Alcohol ;)

17. Current worry right now?
Money, and the ongoing lack there-of...

18. Current hate right now?
I don't do hate. Never have.

19. Favorite place to be?
Anywhere with Ms. Kellie. I miss her :(

20. How did you ring in the New Year?
Fancy dress party at Kellies - Not-So-Incredible Hulk ;)

21. Like to travel?
Depends where, not that I get to do it very often...

22. Name three people who will complete this meme:
Hmmm, Mand probably.. erm... And two bored people!

23. Do you own slippers?
Pffft I'm not THAT girlie yet ;)

24. What color shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a greyish tee shirt and a black top over that - am I'm warm!

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Can't say I've ever tried.

26. Can you whistle?
Yep, but better doing it inwards and not outwards. And can't do it with my fingers either :S

27. Favorite singer/band?
Too many to choose from I'm afraid.

28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor?
Not seen it, but if it's living off the land doing stupid trials like eating cow anus or whatever, then yep. As long as they don't feed me fish fingers...

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I'm too manly to sing ANYWHERE, let alone the shower ;)

30. Favorite girl’s names?
Bethany & Tamsyn

31. Favorite boy’s name?
Jaysen & Daniel

32. What’s in your pocket right now?
£3.67 in change

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Being childish in town with Kellie!

34. Like your job?
I'm a Dad and a Bastard, so yep ;)

36. Do you love where you live?
I do, despite the reputation of the area.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Two TVs, two flatscreen monitors and a fat-screen monitor

38. Who is your loudest friend?
Hmmm, I have a bad feeling I might be the loud friend...

39. Do you drive the speed limit or speed?
When learning to drive I used to get in trouble for having heavy feet...

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
My Kellie luvs me lots and lots. Well, mostly, when I'm not being wicked and mean and nasty to her ;)

41. What is your favorite book?
I have three favs, The Hobbit, and The Lord of the Rings, both by JRR Tolkein, and Magician, by Raymond E Feist

42. What is your favorite candy?
I am rather partial to Maltesers at the moment.

43. Favorite Sports Team?
Pffft

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
I think I was actually asleep on on the way there...

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?
Must... Shower...

Important Study: Beer

2009-03-04T06:29:00.002Z

Clicky to Embiggen if you can't read it!

What Facebook Is For

2009-03-03T13:59:00.000Z

Musical Monday #69 - Omen

2009-03-02T07:00:00.001Z

"Okay, wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?"
"69, dudes!"

*ahem*

I have a sneaking suspicion a lot of you will not be liking this song. However, I don't care. So ner. Back in the Day of my misspent youth, my mid-to-late teenage years, I would be found with wires coming out my ears, moving my head or a foot in time to a beat unhead by others.

Invariably, the music would either be Rave Music (which later evolved into Trance), Rock/Metal (Metallica, Iron Maiden, Guns n Roses) or something Indie-Like (Pearl Jam, mostly). However, a lot of the time, it would be my well-worn tape of The Prodigy. I loved them, and have listened to them as they changed and developed. Every time a new album came out, I pre-ordered it and loved it.

Well, mostly.

Mid-Summer last year, I read on their webpage that they were all coming back together for another album. The previous album was just the head-musician type playing with his stuff. Guess the bank balance was low or something and he needed cash, but the album wasn't that great.

So, seeing that the others of the group would be back, I was interested, and followed the development online when I could. When they released - for free - a track off the album, I loved it. And, in a move that made me smile - Jaysen loved it as much as I did. His musical taste is as varied as mine, so we get along great when it comes to music ;)

The album came out, and in a shock move, I paid MONEY for it. I COULD have downloaded it, but nope, I paid for it. And I am glad I did. It's an excellent album, and by listening to it, you can tell it's The Prodigy. It's got some music that sounds like their old stuff, some of their harder stuff, and some new sounds that is still Them.

If that makes sense.

I've spoken to other Prodigy fans my ages, the ones that would have listened to them over the years and heard the changes, and like me, they love it too. Don't get me wrong, there's one - maybe two - tracks on the album that aren't perfect, but then, I don't think I've ever gotten an album and loved every second of it.

So, if you liked The Prodigy in the past, especially the albums Music for the Jilted Generation and The Fat of the Land, then you will probably love Invaders Must Die.

This song is the second off the album, Omen.

The Drugs Don't Work

2009-03-01T13:19:00.000Z

Fairly interesting story on Sky News this morning... Apparently, a lot of the Cough and Cold remedies out on the market aimed at kids - shockingly - don't do anything.

Now, to be fair, when I am poorly, I usually use Lemsip Hot Berry Fruits. I don't know if they actually work or not, but they usually make my nose feel better. Otherwise, my normal painkillers are better than most cold/flu remedies.

However, when the kids are poorly, they will get Calpol if they are lucky, just to bring down temperatures. If there is a cough, I won't buy stupidly-priced cough mixtures aimed at kids, but a simple linctus just to make the throat feel better.

However, a government report has said that pretty much all "remedies" do nothing, but have added the line "but don't worry if you have given them" because they know that there are likely people out there now that are reading this thinking "OMG I've been poisoning my kid!"

Popular cough and cold medicines which have been used for years to treat children probably do not work, Government health experts have admitted.

Over-the-counter medicines 'were not specially designed for children'

There is "no robust evidence" that remedies such as Lemsip, Day Nurse and Sudafed have any benefit to youngsters.

They can also cause side effects like hallucinations, new evidence has found.

Parents will now be told not to waste their money on the medicines - but told not to worry if they have used them in the past.

The advice comes after a review by the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA).

It added that the possible side effects - although not dangerous - could include sleep disturbance, allergic reactions and hallucinations.

Regulators have decided that many of the medicines can no longer be sold to children under six.

And clearer advice will be published on packets for children between six and 12, for whom the medicines appear to have no benefit.

Pharmacists will be issued with new advice to give to parents about which medicines can be used safely.

Pain relief preparations and remedies used to lower a child's temperature, such as Calpol, are unaffected by the new rules.

For children under six, the MHRA recommends that parents stick to simple remedies like keeping their child's temperature down.

Honey and lemon mixtures can be used to ease a cough, the experts said.

MHRA spokesman Jeremy Mead explained that children's physiology differs from adults so remedies that work on an older body cannot be assumed to have the same effect on youngsters.

The MHRA have identified a list of eight medicines that do work and are safe to use on children under six.

They include Beechams Veno's Honey and Lemon, Benylin Tickly Coughs and CalCough TicklyCare Glycerin Lemon & Honey with Glucose - although none should be given to babies under one year old.

The MHRA's Dr June Raine, said: "Over-the-counter medicines used to treat coughs and colds have been used for many years.

"However, they came into use when clinical trials were not required to demonstrate that they worked in children. This means they were not specially designed for children."
Recommended For Under 6s

For Pain And To Lower Temperature:
:: Calpol Infant Suspension.
:: Calprofen (3+ months).
:: Cuprofen Suspension for Children.
:: Disprol Paracetamol Suspension (from 3 months).
:: Disprol Soluble Paracetamol Tablets (from 3+ months).
:: Medinol Under 6 Under 6 Paracetamol Oral Suspension.
:: Nurofen for Children 3 months to 12 years.
:: Nurofen for Children Baby (From 3 months).

Simple Cough Mixtures:
:: Baby Meltus Cough Linctus.
:: Beechams Veno's Honey and Lemon (Not to be given under 1 year).
:: Benylin Children's Tickly Coughs (Not to be given under 3 months).
:: Benylin Tickly Coughs (Non drowsy) (Not to be given under one year).
:: CalCough TicklyCare Glycerin Lemon & Honey with Glucose (Not recommended under one year).
:: Lemsip Cough Dry
:: Tixylix Baby Syrup (Not recommended under 3 months).

I'm not sure why I've never really given the kids "proper" medicine, but I think it stems from Bethy. Some cough and cold remedies could often make the heart kids poorly, so as a precaution, I never had them in the house... Just in case, after all.

Who knows, maybe it's a good thing, that parents will stop giving their kids so much medication if they have a sniffle or something.

Now all we need is the government to finally admit that ManFlu is a devestating disease... :D