tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61335912009-11-08T01:20:38.844-08:00My love... my hate... my opinions... my thoughts...my drama...my heartaches...my pet peeves... my theories... my joys... MY LIFE.Swaynoreply@blogger.comBlogger349125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-37059814271095937072009-07-02T04:49:00.000-07:002009-07-02T05:00:31.906-07:00

So I wrote this whole post about my apprehension in my changing attitudes on things and this stupid computer lost it all! Blah! I guess maybe i didn't need to post it anyways.Well... since i no longer have a post...and I really don't feel like typing anymore. I'll just wish everyone a happy 4th!

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-64418187155136001222009-06-26T06:10:00.000-07:002009-06-26T06:36:32.517-07:00

Like so many people, I was one of millions who sat in front of the TV and radio in disbelief yesterday evening. I couldn't believe that MJ passed away. Usher called me around 6:25 ish to tell me to turn to CNN. I almost didn't because I was rushing to choir and dance rehearsals. As I clicked my remote, a wave of shock came over me as I watched them tell me that everyone's favorite entertainer

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-20863414757958015832009-06-23T07:36:00.000-07:002009-06-23T08:21:03.038-07:00

HURTINGOuch! My arms are aching like nobody's business. I just started back working out because I'm gaining weight again. :( I hate gaining weight. Every time my clothes start snugging up on me, I get depressed and eat more. Then of course I find myself in a vicious cycle of weight gain, depression and over eating. ENOUGH! I got my big booty off the couch yesterday and blasted some music. I was

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-12915310428457118632009-06-16T05:55:00.000-07:002009-06-16T06:25:34.690-07:00

TIMINGAs soon as I got into my comfy bed and pulled the covers over me, my alarm clock went off and I realized I was dreaming.It's weird to dream about going to sleep a minute before your alarm goes off. Talk about waking up with an attitude. I was all like...Man, really??Apparently I was feeling tired in my dream and was excited about hitting the sheets...only to find that in reality, my day

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-86871547027246875812009-06-05T05:20:00.000-07:002009-06-05T05:53:14.708-07:00

...it definitely does knock you down!Ahh that Ke.ri. She sure knows how to write a song. I remember when we were kids in the M to M program (did anyone else have that?) at Henderson Mill Elementary school. She and her 2 sisters would get on about 3 stops after mine. We had assigned seats on the bus and Ke.ri and some girl named Chi-Chi sat behind me. Every morning I'd put my head on the

Swaynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-63128549567223809072009-06-03T04:54:00.000-07:002009-06-03T05:23:06.865-07:00

My alarm went off way too early this morning.As I groaned and pulled myself out of the comfort of my bed, I realized how bad I need a vacation.You ever have that dreadful feeling that you've somehow managed to get yourself stuck in quicksand?Well that's me. For the last year or so. The more I try to make things happen and will positive things to come my way, the more feel like I'm sinking in muck

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-91257241602237742452009-05-27T10:17:00.000-07:002009-05-27T10:49:56.067-07:00

It's a little after 1pm and I'm eating a Kielbasa with cheese at my desk. I usually watch Tyra in the breakroom during lunch, but today I figured I'd dive in and see what happens when the cursor and white space fill my computer screen.(10 minutes later)Yeah...so I don't know where to begin. Hmmmm. My dad's birthday is tomorrow. Hooray! I love my dad. :)It's kinda scary though when you see your

Swaynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-77877656448272082102009-05-20T05:26:00.000-07:002009-05-20T05:34:46.391-07:00

Is this blog still here?Really?....An old friend of mine emailed me yesterday to ask me why I stopped blogging.It took me a good 8 minutes to come up with an answer. I've asked myself that a few times this year. I've changed my work schedule so that I'm working 10 hour days, 4 days a week....so there's AMPLE opportunities for me to write to my heart's content...yet....I don't write.Lord knows

Swaynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-69142708363141283132009-01-06T13:24:00.000-08:002009-01-06T13:46:52.957-08:00

Wow what a ride!As I look back over 2008, a flood of emotions readily surface. It's been a heck of a year. But isn't that every year for me? lol I was lucky in love this year. Usher and I got back together around valentine's day last year and have been enjoying each other's company ever since. Our relationship itself this time around has been better. Of course I've had my complaints. Times

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-3849132231090276092008-12-01T09:12:00.000-08:002008-12-01T12:04:45.182-08:00

I almost forgot my password to blogspot. I used to log in so much that it would just keep me logged in. Nowadays my presence around here is scarce. Today I found a reason to write. :)In the past 5 years, I've told no one in my "real" life the URL to this blog. It was my fear that one day while perusing the web, they'd stumble upon my blog and be pissed at the things I've said about them, or

Swaynoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-10419954519598060312008-11-12T09:11:00.000-08:002008-12-01T12:22:47.087-08:00

So much has been going on with me.But somewhere down the line, I've lost the desire to write. The desire to share. The desire to be transparent.I feel as if I will one day look back and regret not writing down the events of this past month. Not sharing my feelings and vivid accounts. Memories are sometimes biased. Sometimes they aren't as accurate as one wants to believe. I'm a testament to that

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-11174873033484260062008-11-05T12:53:00.000-08:002008-11-05T12:55:26.586-08:00

I am so overwhelmed and elated that I was apart of history. Our new president looks like me. Isn't that something?!?I have no words right now.God is good.

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-66461145954774268932008-10-22T08:52:00.000-07:002008-12-01T12:08:34.290-08:00

“Maybe you’re there for that reason.” Those words hung in the air like a Cumulus on an otherwise cloudless day. She was so right. I was made to be the way I am because of the role I’d play in the lives of my parents. No one else could be my mom’s daughter but me.For the last 3 years, my coworker and I have had daily vent sessions about everything under the sun. I’ve confided in my co-worker about

Swaynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-40464703233755814502008-10-10T06:39:00.000-07:002008-12-01T12:07:11.945-08:00

I wish I had a best friend.Someone with whom I could share my most private thoughts without being judged, or given advise.A human version of this blog.A soundboard that I can just throw ideas off of without seeing a scrunched face or a raised eyebrow.My friends are wonderful people. They really are. But i've noticed when I'm having a difficult moment in life, they are not who I turn to. I don't

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-11898995764529895052008-09-30T09:07:00.001-07:002008-09-30T09:22:45.397-07:00

So here we are.On the last day of September.How in the heck did we get so far down in the year? It seems that the longer I live, the faster time goes. Pretty soon it'll be Thanksgiving, Christmas then 2009!!I'm honestly looking forward to the remainder of the year. Always hoping that latter will be greater than the former. I'm grateful that Usher is still at his job and I can finally focus

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-69948499991675209652008-09-25T09:22:00.000-07:002008-09-25T09:34:03.172-07:00

I've been taking this week to clean out my work inbox. I've been here for quite a while so I have an obscene amount of mail in my inbox. So I decided to go through them all, one-by-one and either delete, put into proper folder or let stay. I came across one and thought I'd share. I have no idea how true it is, but message was loud and clear. Sometimes the smallest things can save your life... or

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-90231097145560943382008-09-23T09:27:00.000-07:002008-09-23T09:49:10.977-07:00

Have you ever felt happy and sad at the same time?It seems crazy to me, yet I honestly feel both right now.It's like, I'm sooo excited about the fall, about Usher's job, about the fact that things are looking up... but at the same time, every time things finally look up, the underlying issues that broke us up the first time are still there.I took a class last week called Crucial Conversations.

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-66813468333606398492008-09-19T12:24:00.000-07:002008-09-19T13:05:35.322-07:00

I've been in a training class all week. So today's been busier than I'd like my Fridays to be. However, I've been itching to blog comment on all the stuff I've seen over the last month or so and I realize that if I don't at least try to put it on here now, I never will. So here's my quick and dirty on some of my thoughts about what I've seen on t.v.1. During the H. Clint.on's speech at the DNC

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-54119707888211578362008-09-12T10:28:00.000-07:002008-09-12T11:31:19.778-07:00

I wasn't planning to write today.Really.Today I planned to play a few computer games, peruse the blogs I haven't visited in a while, and just look on the web for the host of things I've told myself I need to check out. One being, the show times for the new Tyler Perry movie at the theaters close to my house.Well you know me, when I get there, I see a link to reviews/comments and I become curious

Swaynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-74346546825232878632008-09-11T10:07:00.000-07:002008-09-11T10:48:15.616-07:00

Dear God,I'm sorry.I'm so very sorry for ever doubting your love for me. After the incident with TG, my faith in you diminished so much because I felt let down. I felt that I made our relationship up. I felt like maybe I was a fool to believe in something that I never even questioned or had hard concrete evidence for. I asked You to speak to me. And when I didn't hear anything, I became

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-6795348001354220532008-09-10T08:42:00.000-07:002008-09-10T09:34:05.752-07:00

We MUST be coming up on Autumn.There could be no other explaination for the sudden re-appearance of the EX's. Ya'll know every year I always mention one of the oldies trying to make a comeback. I wonder why it's always in the Fall? Do men not like relationships when it's Hot? Do they already have someone when it's cold? I don't get it. It never fails. As soon as Sept/Oct/Nov hits...the

Swaynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-16908422282835085852008-09-08T09:31:00.000-07:002008-09-08T11:59:18.775-07:00

You know, every since my birthday week, one storm after another has just continuously crashed on the shore of my life. It's gotten to the point where I actually hesitate before answering my phone nowadays. It really got the best of me this weekend. I took bereavement leave on Wednesday to allow myself some time to grieve and to rest. All of the other situations I have going on has made me

Swaynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-52312919140307613172008-09-02T08:45:00.000-07:002008-09-02T10:24:15.945-07:00

It was 1988. Hot. Most likely summer.I'm not quite sure what I did but my mother was set on punishing me for it. Usually she spanked me, which I've always hated. I've been allergic to pain all my life and that will probably always be. I'd take "being on punishment" over physical pain anyday. Nevertheless, on this particular occasion my mother didn't think a whipping was sufficient enough. My

Swaynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-41956335527536597962008-08-26T08:06:00.000-07:002008-08-26T08:11:48.553-07:00

I miss working in our old building. While being downtown Atlanta is invigorating and quite a workout, I feel like we’re all packed in these little generic cubicals, running around like mice in a maze with no idea what’s happening beyond these four walls. I miss looking out my officle window and taking in the elements of the outdoors. I left my desk a minute ago in search for a window and just

Swaynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6133591.post-38419631440551837682008-08-19T11:48:00.000-07:002008-08-19T11:54:53.837-07:00

I am feeling STRESSED!!!I mean like... so stressed my wig hair is falling out.Too much is happening. Work is crazy! I'm running around here like a headless chicken. Then trying to plan these birthday happenings by myself is really sucking. Everybody's calling me and asking me what we need to do for my mom...and for Usher. And I'm doing the back and forth thing! I'm soooo not a planner! This

Swaynoreply@blogger.com5