Beautiful Nightmare

Oh Mario, My Obsession.

2009-07-14T18:49:00.002+10:00

Oh mario, you got a spell on me,

Though you eat me alive at every single challenge,

I just keep coming back for more.

You’re like cocaine without the high,

You’re like a joy ride, without any joy!

I feel used and abuse, still I want you.

Faith - Great Powers

2009-07-13T11:39:00.003+10:00

Faith brought you together, just in time for you to start killing each other.

Thats What You Are

2009-06-17T19:13:00.004+10:00

Compulsive attention seeker
Social Retard
Bossy little bitch
Demanding whore
Controlling twit
Drama Queen
Unethical prick

Face it!

Disgusting.

2009-05-28T13:22:00.002+10:00

Like a torn up cat.

Run over by a truck.

Like sex with a whore

Like an infectious disease

Like an oyster milkshake.

You make me feel.

Day 7

2009-05-26T17:32:00.002+10:00

Its my last day.

Im not satisfied. I just dont feel like i lost anything!!!
Im going to have to weigh myself. Ah! I made my own soup yesterday.
Got sick of the same recipe.

Veg and soup today. I get baked potato for dinner.

I need exercise.

Day 6

2009-05-25T11:42:00.003+10:00

I hate the weekends.

Last night we went out for a movie. Nandos for dinners and popcorn later. HORRIBLE. I just wasted a whole week. I didnt eat much though, but still. Its HORRIBLE.

Only fruits today. =) Its supposed to be a cabbage soup diet thing. Same soup everyday followed by different other meals like fruits, veg, meat, banana's, milk. Sounds easy, but when the soup starts getting to you, its a killer.

Cabbage Soup Diet If you dare. All it needs is a little courage and fairy dust.
Lol. Who am I kidding.

Well it has thought me to love fruits and veg more than meat, that should be good. Right?

One more day to go. If i weigh myself and dont see any changed, i might just kill myself.

Day 5

2009-05-24T17:46:00.001+10:00

I think i over ate.

Brown Noodles and veg. Its just too filling. Veggie and fruits today. I love spinach.

Might weigh myself today

Day 4

2009-05-23T11:43:00.003+10:00

I feel awful eating meat.

I never thought i could trick my mind that easy about meat and fatty food. I am proud. Very proud.

Its day 4, its only beef and green veggies today. Sounds good. 3 days more to go. I hope i dont disappoint myself.

Day 3

2009-05-22T12:49:00.003+10:00

Im getting the hang of it.

I had absolutely nothing but cucumber for dinner last night. Lol. Doesn't seem so appetizing but try sprinkling some salt all over it and taadaa, heaven. =)

I had half a papaya this morning. Lol. It was awesome. I get to have meat today, but I'm not going to stuff my face though. I kind of like eating healthy, and i mean, real healthy, like not much meat healthy. Lol. I wonder how much i have lost already. I want to check so badly but im waiting for the 7th day.

Need lots of water today.

Day 2

2009-05-21T11:15:00.003+10:00

Its day 2. Day one was not hard at all.

Slight migraine due to my diet change, absolutely normal. Milk and banana's for breakfast and lunch because i was late to pack my soup for lunches. Soup for dinner. Hmmmm... Oh i get skimmed milk as much as i want. That will fill me up. =D

Day 1

2009-05-20T12:02:00.002+10:00

Well i didn't take a video. I was too busy watching Lost.

I did however eat absolutely nothing other than fruits for dinner last night and I forced myself not to eat anything other than that. Temptation? Yes, but I got through. =) It was good.

Today, its tea in the morning and soup for lunches, maybe fruits for dessert. Salad and soup for dinner, and fruits for dessert!! Yummy. =P

I'm anxious to see how much i loose this week. *grins*

The Millionth Attempt!

2009-05-19T16:35:00.005+10:00

Today will be the day i start my diet. This will be my millionth attempt! I am E X C I T E D! Its a beautiful day people.

So just to be clear, i can do this, i have done it, ill just have to maintain it. As much as i love food, this is something i have to get through.

I was supposed to start on Monday but i only managed to put my mind to it, Monday evening. I will probably make a video tonight and kick it off from there. Hopefully you get to see a before & after image. I want to loose up to at least 15 kg's and more in 2 1/5 months. Wonder if it will ever happen, Im going to be positive and say Hell it will!

Hope this goes well.

This is my challenge to all of you who keep doubting me!

BRING IT ON!!

People

2009-05-19T16:15:00.006+10:00

People tend to despise my blog. They say I'm too judgmental. They tell me that I am an absolute attention seeker and that I am just plain rude. Well here's what i say!

Its a magical world people, simply Magical! *sprinkles fairy dust*

Some Chinese People Are Just Downright Appalling

2009-04-28T17:38:00.008+10:00

Call me racist, i dont care, because i can be! This was just too much!

We were out for dinner a few days ago. One thing about me is that i hate eating in crowded places or even sitting too close to other people, because i know that it is in our nature to eavesdrop and i would do anything to prevent that. The place we went to was not crowded at all, infect there were only a few tables taken. We sat across the other side because it was cooler over there, however there was a granny with her dauther and grandchild. I didnt care too much, i was just hungry and i needed to stuff my face. Just after we ordered our food, an elderly chinese man at the age of 50 also sat at their table. Im going to take a wild guess and say that it was her husband.

We ignored them and we were talking about random stuff as usual before our food arrived, our tables were kind of close so they or rather he was listening to what we were talking about which really pissed me off but what the hell, its a free country (yeah right). I kept ignoring the fact that he actually stopped his conversation to listen to ours. He was really testing my patients. I have very low patients for anything around me. I wouldn't care a damn, for instance if someone were to push my buttons the wrong way, id snap and the fun part about being me is that i dont care if i say something to massively offend or hurt the other party. It just never gets to me. (fortunately)

So to be clear with the seating arrangements, the chinese guy was next to me, on my right. He cocked up his leg, which was almost in my face (im exajurating) , at least it felt like it... im just saying, it was that close. He had his shoes on at first. I was like, okay, i came here to fill my tummy up and just go home. I didnt want to make a scene.

Our food came and i glanced to my right and Mr. Chinkies (Mr.chinese man) shoes were off and his bare foot was in my face. I was like WHAT THE HELL!!!??? i kept calm, I told myself, just eat and leave. So he starts talking really loudly, like he needs the whole entire mall to hear what he has to say. Or rather make sure we all hear that he spent 50 thousand dollars in australia a few months ago. Bare in mind, his foot is still in my face. In my head, i was thinking, how do people with such bare minimum manners survive in foreign countries? I mean, dont ever compare Malaysia to other civilized countries. I think you could be put in jail for speaking too loud in some countries, i dont know. Im just saying so.

Anyways, he pissed me off with his volumn but i was like, im malaysian, i should be use to this. The part that was so disgustingly new to me was the part when i was eating, and he started picking the dried skin on his toes. I was like this is FUCKING DISGUSTING! i couldnt eat. I just stopped, the sound of it still makes me wanna puke, and he's just flicking it around. I mean COME ON!!!! ITS A FUCKING CAFE FOR FUCKS SAKE! I mean how appaling and disgusting can these people get? Im not saying that i am all manners, but that is NOT hygenic at all!

I mean if there is a rule that stinky homeless junkies are not allowed in malls, there should be rules for people like this to not be allowed too. Its disturbing and it is disgusting... I have no words to exaplain this. Im still shock. They are DISGUSTING! Arrrghhh... Im trying to get over it.

I mean come on, there should be some sort of teachings these people have when it comes to manners.

I was browsing and here is what i found, and if you are not femiliar with this race, im telling you, nothing in this post has been exajurated!

Our habits the Chinese consider gross or dirty:

Walking around barefoot, or in your socks. If you’re on a flight from the US to Beijing, don’t lose face by walking around the plane in your socks. Double-gross for doing this outside on the pavement. To the Chinese, this is just appalling.

Setting your bag, purse, or backpack down on the ground. Large pieces of luggage, okay, but not smaller bags. The Chinese think that the ground is dirty, and consider it bad form to put a nice bag on something dirty. Find a chair to put it on if you want to blend.

Eating cheese. A lot of Chinese cringe at the thought of cheese.

Wearing revealing clothing (this does not apply to the malaysian chinese community, they usually walk around with their asses out of their shorts) . While Chinese fashion is modern and… interesting, it is rare that a women (or a man) will wear low-cut tops or mini skirts, for example. If you visit China and choose to bring along a more revealing wardrobe, be prepared to get stared at by some men and scowled at by some older women.

Eating too fast ( Again, not for malaysian chinese). The Chinese are about slow-paced meals. This is when conversations and gatherings take place. Don’t ruin it, or lose your face, by scarfing down your food. Eating while in a hurry is an odd concept for the Chinese.

Genetically Engineered Food (but i guess penis enlargement pills are fine with them). GMO, or genetically modified organisms, are becoming more prevalent in Chinese society. But as a whole, Chinese prefer the organic, free-range philosophy of food and frown at the thought of pumping an animal full of hormones just so it looks bigger.

Sitting on a public toilet. No doubt you will frequent at least one McDonald’s in China and see the “Western” toilet seat all loose and mangled with footprints all over it — and when you do, now you’ll know why! Chinese people don’t sit on them. They squat on them, because to the Chinese, sitting on a public toilet (seat cover or not) is disgusting.

Chinese habits We consider gross or dirty

Not washing your hands. A water rinse doesn’t cut it for most Westerner after a trip to the restroom. It is also nasty that there is usually never soap, and about a quarter of the time there is no running water.

Food in the mouth. Talking with a mouth full of food, smacking, or slurping noodles or soup can be quiet annoying for Westerners.

Public nose picking, ear digging, or spitting.

Handling of Meat. Watch this video to see how they roll with meat in China. The Chinese consider this fresh because it was hacked up the same day, and consider the Safeway, 3-day old meat in shrink wrap to be the disgusting choice.

Poo Poo. When visiting the countryside, you may catch a glimpse of a mother holding her baby at the sidewalk (giving a quiet “shhhhh” whistle) to prompt the little feller to do his or her business — right on the ground.

Pissing in plublic. When in the train the her child cant wait to get off the next stop to take a piss, she give him a plastic bag to pee in while there are hundreds of passangers on board. Ties in up and keeps it till they get down. How disgusting is that!

Missing the toilet. Walking into a stall with 1/2 an inch of liquid on the floor can be a gross sight.

No Doors. Need to do a Number Two? You race to the bathroom to find out that there are a handful of guys, in plain site, doing their business in the doorless stalls. I know what you’re thinking. How much did they save by not installing the doors? Are stall doors that expensive in China? Truth is, Chinese people just aren’t tripping. Keep your eyes either up or down, find an empty slot, and breeze on in.

Nine Inch Nails... Not that bad.

2009-04-24T17:46:00.011+10:00

Nine inch nails… Emo?

NOT! Although some of their songs may come across to be very deep and emotional, I reckon that NIN is and might be the only baddest band out there, mainstream wise. Do not get me wrong, they are nothing compared to Iron maiden, Slayer, Black Sabbath, etc… I'm talking Mainstream. =).

NIN is an American industrial rock band. Now Im not that into industrial music but I gave them a listen not too long ago and I have to say, I will let this industrial rock band slide into my playlist. In the midst of getting these info’s about them I found out that this band is as old as me, I was surprised. They were formed in 1988 by Trent Reznor, a singer, song writer, producer , multi-instrumentalist and the only official member of NIN. Impressive.

My favorite song by them would be Hurt.

Written by Trent Reznor and was released in 1994. Some say that this song was based on Reznors drug problem some just don’t know what. Whatever it is, songs relate to you in different ways, you don’t have to be a junkie to appreciate it.

"Hurt" was also covered by Johnny Cash. Now how awesome is it to have the most influential musicians of the 20th century cover your song! This kind of tells you that this band really has something going on! “Hurt” was one of Johnny Cash's final hit releases before his death. Its accompanying video, featuring images from his life, I would know, I watched it yesterday.

Here are the lyrics of hurt, and the song if it works.

Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
my sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way...

So Inch Nails are going to be in Singapore in August!! =D
Am i going?
... I sure hope so!

Judith, A Perfect Circle

2009-03-24T15:42:00.006+11:00

Judith - A Perfect Circle

You're such an inspiration for the ways
That I'll never ever choose to be
Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you
Fuck your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why

It's not like you killed someone
It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you
Broken down and paralyzed
He did it all for you
He did it all for you

Oh so many many ways for me to show you
How your dogma has abandoned you
Pray to your Christ, to your god
Never taste of the fruit
Never stray, never break
Never---choke on a lie
Even though he's the one who did this to you
You never thought to question why

Not like you killed someone
It's Not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side
Talk to Jesus Christ
As if he knows the reasons why
He did it all for you
Did it all for you
He did it all for you..

A Perfect Circle.

Dear Benzy

2009-02-17T16:45:00.002+11:00

We need to face the truth, face reality and the elements of what religion actually brings. No matter how much we claim to support freedom for choice of religion, the truth is it is all a paradox. Religion can most certainly be a source of conflict and a weapon of mass destruction in the world today and it has been. Truth to be told and I believe that I am not the only one that would agree that, Hate, Lust, War, Terrorism and Democracy is caused because of religion.
From what many claim to be a “sacred book” some just think of it as a system humans made to control their own kind. Living in fear of an extra ordinary power? I think we are all above these fairytale stories about a talking snake or dying in the name of god in order to go to a special place where our 72 virgins awaits us. We evidently live in denial not accepting that if there were no such teachings, we as humans would have never even known the feeling of Hate, War or even Terrorism, better yet, thought about it.

Scavenger of Human Sorrow, Death

2009-02-03T17:00:00.003+11:00

What pain will it take
to satisfy your sick appetite
go in for the kill
always in sight-pray
the time always right-feast
feed on the pain-taste
sorrow made flesh-sweet
live how you want
just don't feed on me
if you doubt what I say
I will make you believe
shallow are words from
those who starve
for a dream not their own
to slash and scar
Big words, small mind
behind the pain you will find
a scavenger of human sorrow
scavenger
Abstract theory the weapon of choice
used by a scavenger of human sorrow
scavenger.
(Solo Schuldiner / Hamm)
So you have traveled
far across the sea
to spread your written
brand of misery.

Jihad Wedding Mag.

2009-01-30T16:14:00.005+11:00

This was too hilarious to be passed off. I laughed so hard i cried. It was just PERFECT!

Source: Not telling you! =)

Updated, Mogwai.

2009-01-28T00:55:00.007+11:00

Eye of Shiva.

2009-01-27T22:35:00.003+11:00

Triunity of the space, inside the sacred maze.
Shiva in the cosmic dance, the divine eye gaze.

Eye of Shiva, Dance the world!

Lightening flashes from your eye,
destroy the illusion.

All destruction by a glance, set the world in a trance.
Inside the sacred maze, Shivas cosmic dance

Bom Bom Shiva Bom Shankara
Bom Bom Shiva Bom Rudra
Bom Bom Shiva Vama Chara
Kala Tattwa

Great Eye of Shiva, thunderbolt Rudra, unveil Lady Maya.
Great Eye of Shiva, dance the world into the cosmic maze of outer space.
unveil Lady Maya.

Lesson of the day

2009-01-22T17:38:00.003+11:00

If you need the attention, atleast be honest with yourself. If you are too shy to show it, at least dont be an idiot about it. You need to face the fact that you are not and will never be an interesting subject.

What to do?:
Take a look at yourself in the mirror and confront your disgusting character, come back down to earth and accept the fact that you are not an interesting matter, and than when you have finally done that, stop running around like a little whore to fill up your empty holes.

By Keisha Ann.

inspired by pathetic people around me. *cheers

Mogwai

2009-01-22T12:33:00.011+11:00

So we went to watch Mogwai yesterday. Pretty awesome. Something i will never ever put myself through again. *as you look in confusion, let me explain.

Mogwai, Scottish, talented, interesting, DEPRESSING.

We rushed to have beers before the concert, thinking that if it was a mistake than at least we were too drunk to care. We like Mogwai, we do like some of their songs but its just that it is something that is totally out of our genre and selection. We didn't finish the whole tower because we were getting late. We might have been the first two people in history to walk out on beer. We managed to get a little tipsy, well who am i kidding, i was really high, he was probably a little high, but it was a good feeling.

As i walked towards the convention centre, i had lots of mixed thoughts going through my head. Firstly, i haven't been around that big a crowd for a long long time which i am certainly happy with (the fact that I'm not around a big crowd like that, i do not like it), it was my choice. Secondly, i wondered, what the hell am i doing here with a bunch of emo's and posers! Arrrghh, did we make the right choice? I'm not sure. As we got pass the entry, it felt a tiny weeny bit better. Lets say a 5% chance of me not being uncomfortable and complaining about the people around me through out the concert. I know he was feeling the same thing too but we were there together and it didn't matter to us because it only meant that we got a chance to spend more time together in an awkward place, which meant it was interesting in an unusual way.

Like normal they were late. Our friends managed to be there on time, one even got a free entry . To think about the amount you're paying for, they would have provided some tight security or an entry band on your wrist with at least a red dot on it. NO! It was little Chinese emo punks at the door and an empty white wrist band. If i knew, i would have made one myself and got in free!!!

So enough with the rattling, beers were cheap. We met a lonely emo English chap, yada yada yada, The band comes out on stage to get settled in, and what do the fans do? NOTHING! well they screamed for about a second and that was it. I laughed. It was funny. HAHAHAHA!!! Well like i said, enough with the rattling.

The first song started. It wasn't bad. It wasn't that good either *with a proud face* It was listenable. They were getting in the zone, we were getting in the zone. But i kinda think it was the beers at first. it was a good feeling, but it didn't matter. We were feeling it. Weren't we? Yea, we were kinda.

I stood there and as the music got more intense i had a feeling i had never had for a long time, a feeling i didn't want to have, DAMN IT! Not now!!! it was gas?! Well at least it felt like that. But no, it wasn't really. It was something else. It felt like everything around me was at a stand still and all i could hear were these emotional chants and rhythms in my head and at that point for about 5 minutes, my whole life flashed right in front of me.

What the hell is going on?! It wasn't something I wanted to feel or even thought of feeling. It was so intense that my emotions were teasing me. I was sad, angry, happy, grateful, i felt special and invincible and superior AT THE SAME TIME! Now how the hell do you feel all of these emotions in 5 god damn freaking minutes? Ask Mogwai!

Here we are, it has only been half an hour and I'm this emotional. WHAT!? At that time, i wasn't too sure if it was the beer, i kept telling myself, it was the beer! It was the beer! It was! NO! It wasn't, i wasn't high anymore. I knew what i was doing, thinking, it was logic, it all made sense, it felt the way it should have felt if i gave into my weakness to let these emotions get to me. I was perfectly normal!

I for one have never been for a good concert. I have only been for one good gig and that was it. What would i know about the feeling you're supposed to have? But i do know one thing, and that is that this would be the one and only concert that i may have cried enough to last me years of sadness and melancholy. *cried in public that is! It was dreadful. In the sense that I was so weak, i gave in.

I headed to the back to through away my empty cup of beer, i see people sitting around feeling depressed, sad and down. I was like WHAT THE HELL IS THIS FREAK SHOW!!! It makes me weak. Besides the point that they know how to play amazing music, i would say that it isn't music i would like to listen to all the time.

I looked around and i though to myself. These people have very high potential to commit suicide. And to think I was sad when i mentioned it in my head, I WASN'T! It was a serious yet funny thought circling in my head. Tell me its not true. I mean think about how many people would have had the tendency to commit suicide after a Mogwai concert, A LOT! lol... This band kills! AWESOME!!!

You get these dumb ass emo junkies coming up to you saying "DUDE! That was so deep man, yeah. They're so hardcore dude! their so fucking hardcore! YEAH!", showing a the devil horn with a penis stinking out of it *devil horn with your thumb out* Lol. And when you ask them, How has Mogwai changed you? and they go "Dude, this one time, i was listening to them, it was so deep i got depressed. Whoa, dude! that's deep man. No band is like that. They fucking make you depressed and wish you were dead, its awesome!". And than they turn around and take a blunt knife for the millionth time to try so hard to cut themselves to show how deep and seriously depressed they are! don't you just feel like slapping the living daylights out of them?! I do!

Overall, Mogwai! Amazing music but i will never ever download any of their albums though. That's about it. It was perfect while it lasted. Thanks for coming down to Malaysia. Do come back! We need you to hunt for more potential suicide emo bastards.

Lesson of the day

2009-01-21T18:06:00.001+11:00

*People have finally learned to be silent.

Mahna Mahna by the Muppets.

2009-01-20T17:05:00.004+11:00

This song deserves an award!!!

Mahna mahna
(ba dee bedebe)
mahna mahna
(ba debe dee)
mahna mahna
(ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de)

(repeats)

mah mama na mahna mah namwomp mwomp
ma mo mo mana mo
mahna mahna
(ba dee bedebe)
mahna mahna
(ba debe dee)
Mahna Mahna!
(ba dee bedebe bedebe badebe debe de-de de-de-de)

(long pause)

...mahna mahna?