The Little Monster Chronicles

Are you Green?

2009-07-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and welcome to my green kingdom, or Greendom as I like to call it.

Today we are going to discuss the importance of being green and helping your plants to thrive!

Over the past year, we have shown you how to water correctly and something else you need to do to help be green is to remove stuff that does not belong, like weeds. I like to use my shovel...aggressively.

So, do you see how easy being green is? And do you understand how important it is? And, finally, do you understand why from this point forward you will be green?

Because if you don't start being green, I'm going to find you and my bird is going to peck out your eyes! Grrrr!!!

Fresh!

2009-07-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

So, Tyler and I were hanging on the steps taking about sheep and binkies when....

Tyler made his move! I was shocked! Kate was shocked! What kind of a girl did he think I was?

Don't you worry, I gave him a stern talking to and told him: "good day to you sir!"

With that, I pulled myself up and headed off to find another cupcake....Kate was still just shocked...shocked and appalled.

Party Time!

2009-07-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

So Tyler's mommy and daddy threw my mommy and daddy a surprise baby shower! It was grand, I saw all my friends and met Tyler's little sister Caitlin! This is Caitlin here, she was enjoying some bread while my dad enjoyed pinching her nose...weird, but whatever.

Kate was there, and so was Tyler....say CHEESE!!!

Kate was trying to show me how much fun it was to "belly bounce" on the ball....um....I had better things to do....

Can you say: CUP CAKE!!! But not only that, but cup cake in a fire truck! Heaven. On. Earth.

Yep, it was a great party for everyone...especially me. Between the cup cakes, the fire truck, and the edamame, it was a grand party for all!

Watering the Birds

2009-07-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Shoot....This birdbath is empty! How the heck am I supposed to wash and play in the bath if there is no water? Clearly Aunt Maggie wasn't any help....

Man! This thing is as dry toast....must add water!

Hello? What have we here! WATER!

You there...water! Get in my birdbath....how are we going to do this?

A brilliant idea on the part of Mallory - as one would expect - but this might take a while....

Tic Toc

2009-07-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Tic Toc, Tic Tic Toc ... oh me oh my how I looooonnng to flyyyyy! Ohhhhh Tic Toc, Tic Tic Toc!
For those who aren't in the know, this is my theme song lately and I LOVE it when mommy croaks it out!

The whole reason this song came about was because my awesome friends, Drayson & Kate, showed me how to sit "Tic Toc" style on the swings. It ROCKS! and all the cool kids are doing it!

Sure, it made me throw up on myself and my favorite Sea Horse dress (from LEILA!) but still I cant get enough!

What do you mean: why?!

2009-07-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Maggie! Stop standing there like a bump on a log. I said, take the water, and fill the bird bath so I can wash my hands!

Again...look, here - birdbath....there - water. Take water, place in birdbath...it's pretty much as easy as it sounds!

Damn....you are as useless as Max! Perhaps I can find a better use for you....

Ah....easy chair!

You sure as hell do a crap job of filling my birdbath, but as least you have a nice lap for sitting and watching a shows....we'll keep you around for now....

Howdy Stranger!

2009-07-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hey mom, you mind if I sit here with this stranger? She seems nice enough....kind of looks like you actually....

HA! Just kidding, it's Aunt Maggie! They are in town for a couple of days, we'll have more pictures of her and Michael later, but I just wanted to introduce her and say hello from Maggie's seat! Now, go away, we're having coffee.

B & B?

2009-07-08T05:45:00.000-07:00

Hi Mom...yes, I have my underwear on my head, but let's focus on breakfast....I think we should have it in bed, no?

Awesome! So, I'll sit here in your bed and you go get me some food! Yea!

Oh.....I love me some TV....

Thanks for breakfast in bed...Pillow Fight! HA! I'm going to get you!

Art Platform

2009-07-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

Howdy People! Yep, I'm working on some art.

For some reason I'm feel particularly artsy today. After mom put my hair up in this ribbon, I just had to grab my lunch box full of crayons and head to my work table for some sketching.

Oh yea...I really churning out the art today....man, I am just a crazy good artist! Lord knows that it's not genetic, but I have some talent.

Wow! Look at that skill!

I'm exhausted from all this bragging about my skills....who wants to go get some lunch?

Tasty!

2009-07-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

Oh....joy. I'm not sure I understand it, but these Popsicles things are GREAT! I mean, we all know that, but these are especially great. You know why?

Three reasons: 1) COLD! 2) They are Mallory sized, and 3) for some reason they are "slow melt" which means they don't run down my hand, don't drip on the floor, and yet they are as tasty as ever!

HA! Awesome! And no, Brown Dog, you can't have any. MINE!

I don't want to talk about it....

2009-07-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ok....I'm going to tell you once, and we are never going to speak of it again....yes....I like broccoli.

Not only do I like it, but I request it...vocally! I love me some greens, what's wrong with that? Sure, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but if you look close, you can see my enjoyment as I masticate it!

Ok...enough of this topic, we don't need to go into any more detail, let's find something else to do.

Watch Dora!

My peeps!

2009-07-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

This last week Drayson's Mommy and my BFF were staying at home, and naturally we hung out together EVERY DAY!
It was sooo awesome! One of the days this last week we brought the whole gang together again and went to our favorite park.
The Moms seems to be on to us about the running around this time, but we still had a great time non the less!

Just so we could keep our Moms on their toes we went up and down the ladder and slide as many times as possible.

Drayson even pointed out to his Mom where he would be falling if she didn't pay attention.

As for me, I am all about accessorizing these days and my Dora purse must be accounted for at all times so I took great care in going down the slide carefully as to not get my purse caught at the top.

All in all it was a very successful week or play dates, good naps and hanging with my favorite peeps!

How to approach the wild hound...

2009-07-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Some of you might now realize what a naturalist I am, but let me tell you, I love me some nature! And not only nature, but the wild animals who roam freely in nature...for example, I present the Wild Brown Dog of the Serengeti!

When approaching this crazed beast, one must do so on one's belly...and slitter closer like a snake.

Once one is close enough for this wild beast to smell you, one must quickly role over on their back and do the Brown Dog Wiggle, and globally known sign for scratch my belly.

Once a trust has been established, one can approach the beast for the desired interaction -- hair brushing! YEA!

Although he's not a huge fan of it, Brown Dog is nice enough to let me start my brushing with his feet. Black Dog is a bit strange about his feet; no one is allowed to touch Black Dogs feet, not even dad! But Brown Dog? He's totally down with a paw brush.

After the paws were done, we moved onto his head. Sure, Brown Dog might have a bad reputation for some of the things he does, but overall, he's a pretty top dog in my book.

I mean really! He sits here and lets me brush his hair (i.e. brush but also bang on the head with the brush). Because he has been so nice to me lately, I am always wandering around the house calling out his name looking for my buddy. On the rare occasions when I can't find him? Oh...I kind of freak out a bit and scream....luckily he usually wanders back into view in pretty short order. Long Live Brown Dog!

I know I can fly!

2009-07-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

Good morning mother! Yes, as you can see, I managed to escape from that straight jacket you call a sleep sack again last night...taa-daaa!!!!

Anyway, as I wake myself up a bit, I was thinking that I should show you the trick you missed last week.

Remember when dad was in here with me and turned around to adjust my music, and I bounced on my bed so high that I managed to fling myself out of my crib and on to the floor? Remember? Then you came running back in and yelled at dad? That was funny...anyway, remember?

Well, I felt bad that you missed my trick of levitation and strength, so I'm going to show you right now how it's done....you ready?

I share good!

2009-07-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hi there! Welcome to my room, where the dress code is always no pants (this is strictly enforced).

Anyway, the reason I brought you here today was to talk about sharing. You see, I've heard it said that for me, sharing is a one-way street. In other words, I'll demand that you share with me, but if I'm ever called upon to share with you, I'll either scream and cry, or throw the object of your attention on the ground and glare at you.

To this I say: Nonsense! You see, right here I'm sharing my fabulous "M" cap with one of my babies. Does the "M" stand for Baby? Clearly not. It stands for Mallory. As in Super Mallory! But, as you can see, I'm willingly and happily sharing it with baby -- you see, me sharing, HAPPILY!

Not only am I happy to share, but I've still got love left over for one of my several other babies! So, to those of you who say I don't share: bite me!

Take 2!

2009-06-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

Oh what the hell do you and that camera want now? WAIT! You didn't tell me you were taking a picture! Nooooooooo! You have to take another one, this time just warn me before you take it; I don't want people to get the "wrong" idea about me....

Ok, I'm ready now. Let's get this show on the road, snap snap! CHEESEEEEE!!!!!

Next Activity Please!

2009-06-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hey mom, thanks for taking me to gymnastics, it was a good time...you ready to roll?

Ah, now this is more like it! Lunch and toys on the beach; what more could this girl want?!

Got my fluffy skirt, my leotard, my bucket and my lunch, I'll be happy for hours! MOM! What is wrong with you? You are out of your mind!

You can say it a thousand more times, but that will not make a bridge appear! There is no bridge! Now, sit down, relax and feed me some grapes!

I'll wa-wa the plants!

2009-06-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Look at our new pretty flowers! Can you smell them? The smell so pretty! Yes they can, things can smell pretty, don't argue with me, I said it, therefore it must be true.

Anyway, mom just planted all these great flowers and so she and I are watering all over the deck to make sure that they plants have plenty to drink.

Before we began, mom was very clear that I was NOT to take my water can inside or go inside without first telling her and drying off. Whatever, I gave her the required head nod and my can was filled! I actually used both my watering cans: pink and blue! That's good multitasking!

Sure, I "accidentally" spilled a little here and there, but generally I think I did a grand job of distributing all that needed water....what mom?

Those tracks? The ones that lead into the house and cover the kitchen floor with water and mud? Um...I can't say for sure, but they look like dog tracks to me.

Dont be a Lemming!

2009-06-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Listen and listen good!
I have learned something new over the past month or so and I'd like to enlighten all of my fans and friends out there. I have recently realized that there are a LOT more options out there than I was previously lead to believe. Its not just a choice between A OR B, but you can create your C!

For instance, when we go to an arranged activity, like gymnastics, there is no need to act like a lemming and follow what everyone else is doing! No way - be a rebel and stand out, make some NOISE and take charge of your destiny! Play in the baby/kiddie section with diseased, slobbered on toys if you want to!!

The world is yours for the taking, take a stand and I promise not only will your care takers bend eventually but others will follow!

MOVE!

2009-06-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Another hard day of eating and swimming has drawn to a close...and from what I gather....this will be our last day here. In fact, mom and dad said something about how next year we might have to find a new beach, and they are not really interested in hauling two kids across the country for a beach...whatever, you'll do it and you'll like it....now feed me something orange!

That's better...now what the hell is all that noise? How am I supposed to enjoy my Cheetos when someone is screaming?!

Move! I can't see who is ruining my snack! Get out of my way!

OK....I guess it's time to go...But, before we go, where did you put my new hat? I need something to play with on our LONG plane ride home!

Get me ready!

2009-06-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

I want to go swimming. So, here is what you are going to do, you ready? First: dress me. Next: provide me with some non-natural source of food....go!

Good work....I like food that dyes my hands for hours after I've eaten. And yes, in case you are wondering, I am judging you.

I said GET A SHOVEL! Man, how am I supposed to get all this sand back into the water with you just sitting there? Man...I give up.

Hey mom! Would you happen to have a pic I could use to try to control my hair? It's getting...a bit out of control? No? OK...well, watch my big finish as I walk away....ready?

Jazz Hands! Work it sister! YEA!

Useless!

2009-06-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, who am I? Let me give you a hint. I have the ability to fall asleep any time you put me in the sun and I only wake up when I hear myself snoring. Need another hint? How about...useless!

Seriously! What is he doing? Napping in the kid's pool so that he can you the fountains to keep cool? LAZY!

Hey mom...look who managed to pull themselves up before bed time....you want to make a run for it?

I will fix you!

2009-06-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

HA HA!!! These things are awesome! But, I'll show them, now I've ended your watery rule over this area! I'm am the ruler of this pool!

What?! How did you come back so soon? I've vanquished you! I'll shall end you now!

Seriously....how does one kill this water?

Look mom...if anyone asks, as you are concerned, I killed the water, and I am the ruler of this pool, got it? Now, watch me shovel like the ruler I am! What are you babbling on about? A bird did what?

WHERE?!

New Rules...

2009-06-22T06:00:00.001-07:00

Ok, now that we've manged to reestablish our trust a little bit with a new rule. I think we're making some headway in the right direction. Just remember: Two hands on the girlie at all times!

HA! Drag me faster! Faster! Weeee!!!!!!!

Pick me up higher so I can get a better look at this waterfall thing...so people think these are cool? Really? Ok....tell you what, why don't you plop me down in it so I can scoot down into the water? Sound good?

Um...hello? Weren't we going to play in the waterfall? Are you going to make me scream at you in front of all these people? Okay....MOMMY!!!!!!!!

My Dad Rocks!

2009-06-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

In case your Mom forgot to tell you - Its FATHER"S DAY!!
To be honest, this years celebration of "the Dad" means so much more to me than it did last year, I know what you are thinking ... how can that be? Well over the past year I have learned three incredible lessons that I know will help me the rest of my life..

1. Dads LOVE to give their daughters candy
2. Dads leave the "Time Outs" to the Mommies
3. Dads make for great snugglers

So, in celebration of "MY DADDY" (as I like to refer to him as) I just wanted to say...

I love you!
Don't worry, I'm not just saying it, as so many others do.
I really mean it. Hope you know it's true.
Yep Daddy, I love you more than words can say, ears can hear, more than eyes can see and hands can touch.
Daddy, I love you so very very much!