A One Cylinder Love Riot

overcoming fears

2008-08-24T21:20:00.001-04:00

Day №57/365 - give
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

Years ago I tried to donate blood. It went horribly, and along with the fact I had to get blood drawn by my doctor more than I even want to think about over the last ten years, I pretty much decided I wasn't going to do it.

They were doing a Red Cross blood drive at work the other day. My friend Nikki decided that she was going to try for the first time. I got in line with her, realizing how important it is, and that it was time to get over my silly fear.

It ended up that Nikki's iron was too low to donate, but I could.

The nurse tried really hard (I have weird veins and they always have to take from the same spot, otherwise there're problems) and she missed on the first try. OUCH!
The second try went better and I was set.

Twenty minutes later I was back at my desk, and proud that I had faced my fear and done it. It sounds like such a little thing, but just dealing with it made me feel great.

If you can donate, please do.

family vacation

2008-08-23T10:30:00.006-04:00

The back corner is a little quieter than the main floor of the restarant, but we're taking care of that by creating our own happy chatter. It's the first time our families have met and I've been nervous about it all week. There they are, comparing notes and telling crazy work stories. When my future mother-in-law laughs at something my Dad's said, Pete smiles and squeezes my hand under the table.

***

We've tromped around the Toledo Zoo for a few hours already, watching my nephew making monkey noises and my niece oooh over the lizards. The rain starts to fall warm and sweet.
After standing under an awning with the crowds for a few minutes we decide to brave the downpour and spend the rest of the afternoon laughing with the elephants in the rain.

***

Cedar Point has been fun. My brother-in-law is still geared up from riding on the Top Thrill Dragster hours before, and his laugh is contageous as his go-cart pulls out in front of mine. I yell some sisterly you jerkey! I'll catch up!s before noticing my Dad's car almost on my bumper.
Hells, no.
I hold Dad off for as long as I can, gas pedal to the floor and taking curves on the inside. I'm laughing so hard I can barely steer.

***

My face is in the crook of his neck and as I breathe him in, I think one word : home. We stretch out on the couch together and catch up on our week. My family time, his hanging out with friends after work. We're meeting up with some of those friends later on. Right now, though, it's just the two of us and that's all I want.

***

Coming back to work after vacations is always difficult. When your Monday is actually a Thursday and you're on the first day of a six-day stretch, maybe it's even a little more difficult.
I should be grateful. I should be thankful. My coworkers keep stopping by to see how my four days off went. All I can think of to say is 'Isn't it Wednesday (my Friday) yet?'. They nod knowingly and chuckle, and then talk about how we're going to be at half-staff on Saturday so it'll be rough and really busy.
I start thinking about how I need to find a way to stretch out the good times even longer. I can see myself on a tropical beach. Exploring cities that are painted over with a sense of history I can't imagine. Showing him all my favorite places in Brisbane and up the coast.
Then I come back to reality and answer the question in front of me. Even if it is the third time in a row he's asked the same damn thing I try to keep the frustration from showing.
I glance up at the new photobooth picture tacked above my monitor and it makes me smile.
Sometimes, I think, sometimes it's all worth it.

made sense to me

2008-08-15T13:48:00.002-04:00

Our friends Stace & Mike found out last week that they'll have to move. I spent my days off helping Stace apartment hunt. It made me realize what an amazing job Pete did finding our place!

I was working weekends when we were looking, so he was the one doing all the actual touring. We'd talked about all the things that were important to us, and my dealbreaker was carpeting. If we had it, it had to be half-way decent. No current stains, and something that was actually cleanable. I've had some nasty, horrible carpeting in some places.
Pete had actually looked at three other apartments in our complex before our supe (with an exasperated sigh, she told me later) offered to show him the "upgraded" model. Pete kind of fell in love with it on the spot.
I love it because it's ours, and because there's a lot of room. It's nothing supah-fancy, but it's clean and the area is great for us.

I'd thought I was appreciative before. But, holy gawd all the skank Stace & I saw! You'd think if you were showing an apartment, you'd at least make sure it didn't smell like year-old garbage and wet dog. I'm so not kidding. Only ONE of the apartments we looked at didn't smell, and that one was way out of their price range. We're both polite girls, so it'd be the hurried run to the car after a viewing so we could giggle and wonder WTF could possibly stain a wall that shade of purple. In splotches.
Also, What's up with charging $10 a month to paint an accent wall? I can understanding charging to paint it in the first place, but an on-going, monthly charge to have a non-white wall? I'd never heard of that before. And $5 a month to have the cuuuurved shower curtain instead of the straight one? Why wouldn't you just go buy one instead? It would have to be cheaper than that over the course of your lease. Or am I totally wrong? It has been a while since I've bought a shower curtain rod.

After that excitement, they found a place that's everything they're looking for. Plus, it's in a woodsy area (Mike loves that). It's about 40 minutes from here, though. That makes me a little sad.

It seems when I moved closer to work, everyone else moved further away. (Almost) all of my besties will be living within a 10-mile radius of each other, and it's at least a 40 minute drive for me to see any of them!
I'm especially going to miss Stace & Mike. Lately, we've been hanging out every weekend. Pete & Mike have become really good friends. They discgolf and go to games together. Stace & I joke about them being "BFFs forevah!!". I love it because Pete doesn't get the chance to hang out with his other friends often, and I know sometimes he needs his Guy Chillout Time.

I can see lots of driving in our future *lol*.

I seldom make it up there to visit now. We haven't been since July 4th, and the last time had been months and months before that. Maybe I'll have to introduce Stace to Kris (they haven't met yet), invite Michelle & Nikki ... and then every time we head up there, I'd have all my besties together! And it'd be like saaaving gas because I could see all four of them at once instead of seperate trips. I get to see Nikki & Michelle at work almost every day, but ...
Yeeeah! I'm sure Pete would go for that.

"I'm gunna go up North."
"But you just went last weekend!"
"Four-for-one! Pshaw! It's like I'm saving us money, baby. Because I am thinkin all the time."

Nick & Shawn

2008-08-11T12:44:00.007-04:00

Almost four years ago, I was hanging out at my friend Michelle's apartment when in walked Nick and Exface. Nick was the funniest, craziest, rocker-ist guy with a fauxhawk I'd ever met.

me with Nick, way back then

We all started spending more time together, until we were hanging out (and partying) three or four times a week. No matter what we were doing, it was always fun. Although other people hung out with us at different times (and they were awesome too), I'll always remember it as being us four.
And when things finally ended with me & Exface, Nick made sure I knew our friendship mattered. Nick's that kind of guy with everyone. But I felt like I was losing such a huge part of myself during the breakup (his friends? my friends?) and Nick understood.
He was dating this girl named Shawn. Although I haven’t gotten to spend as much time with her because she's about the busiest woman I've ever known, she’s always been so much fun and such a sweetheart.
After five years of dating, Nick and Shawn are getting married (it’s in the water around here, I swear) and Saturday was her bachelorette party.

Shawn rocks out!

me & stace

these are two of my favorite people ever, Stace & Michelle

[I totally nabbed these pictures from Stace. I took a lot, too, and they’ll be up on my Flickr account later on today. Darn camera cord being at work when I need it at home ...]

It was a few hours of gabbing with some of my favorite girls (I hadn't gotten to hang out with Michelle in way too long) and singing along at the piano bar. Good times.

On the way home, my phone went off. It was a voice mail from Nick. He was out with the guys gettin crazy on the second night of his 'Bachelor Weekend'.
"I'm ... I'm rockin it OUT Jen-nay! Yeeeeeeeaaahhh!!! You're an f'in rockstar! Yeeeeah! Partypartypartywooooo!"
I had to roll my eyes and laugh. There'll never be another Nick. Or another Shawn who loves him so much.

Congrats, you two!! I hope you have long, heathly, happy, wonderful lives together and lots of B. babies! :)

P.S. The vids of Nick hula-ing? Awwwwesome.

I've been in my cave.

2008-08-08T13:34:00.004-04:00

I'd been pensive and thinky for a few days.

If I'm honest, it's been more then a few days. Building and pushing in gently, and I know change is coming. I've felt this way before.

Last time, I clutched that feeling to me and tried to live past it. Because of fear. I'd never lived anywhere except our tiny town (village? I think technically it is) and I wasn't sure I could. Literally years of questioning, wondering, and giving myself excuses until I just couldn't take it anymore.
I was such a miserable girl inside. And I don't think I hid it well.

Things haven't been quite right lately. There've been a few big cries while Pete holds me, bewildered but supportive. Conversations about our options, our best future.
'What does it matter?,' he asks. 'We'll still be together!'

Our friend had just left, after talking about hopping states and opportunities, and that sentence was exactly what I needed to hear. He'd said it before, but it had to be just the right moment for me to hear it.
Something clicked along with my smile. He's right.
For the first time, we can take the jump together.

It comes down to this:
I no longer want to live a life where I envy anyone anything. I want to take the risks that are right for me (& my family, because Pete is my family) and get us to where we need to be.
Intelligently, honestly, and with a little Jenni-spazzing thrown in.
But we'll get there.

I'm seeing past all the have-tos and adults shoulds to the truth. I'm responsible for building my own future. My own life.
And this? Isn't it. It was a great place to rest and catch my balance, but I've gotten that now. I'm no longer challanged or happy, and that's bleeding over into the things that do make me happy.
Pete, my friends, my family : they all deserve the best I can offer. And at this stage, they aren't getting it. Hell - I'm not getting it.

So, plans are in motion.
Right now it feels like baby steps, but as with everything big that happens to me, I'm likely to get swept up so fast I don't know what's hit me until months later.

And that sounds great. I'm ready.

July, in flashes

2008-07-24T14:21:00.005-04:00

We're in the car at 9pm on a Friday. Dusky light and cooler air flow in through the windows as he stirs from his passenger-seat nap. I look over and smile before turning my attention back to the road. 32 miles to the bridge, 80 to my parent's front door, and right about where I start feeling home.

***

It's hot out, and my parent's yard is full of relatives I haven't seen in forever alongside loved ones I don't see often enough. My Dad is doing his usual host thing, moving easily between groups. Ah!, I think for the hundreth time, that's where I got it from.
We're sitting in a small group on the new wooden benches, watching the kids and puppies run endless circles around the swingset.

***

The breeze is cool, even in the wooded circle. My sister looks so happy and beautiful. I've never seen her happier than she's been in the last few years, and it drowns out the memories of that sad, independant, fiesty sixteen year old who felt the world at once owed and hated her. She's turned into a woman I lean on, and that's saying so very much. John looks over at her, and I feel a rush of love for them. The things she's been through, she deserves to be this happy.
What did I do to deserve my happiness? In a year, this will be me. I've just been lucky, I suppose. The luckiest.

***

John calls my niece up, and she already has tears in her eyes. As he bends to her and speaks about love, trust, a parent's responsibility, my eye well over. When she sobs 'I didn't think I'd cry so much!' we all answer with our own tears.
This is the most beautiful moment of the weekend, and we are now a family.

***

We're in the car again, just me and Pete taking the kids to dinner. My niece and nephew are in the back seats. They're laughing and telling stories, making up the grossest receipies they can think of.
How did they know this is what'll make Uncle Pete laugh more than anything?

***

Home again. And our own bed. It's never been so sweet. I love visiting, but being on twenty-two hours a day is a bit much. We curl up and drift off. I want to sleep for a week. I want no responsibility, daytime t.v., and lemonaide.
Instead, I have laundry and grocery shopping and friends that've missed us.
It's a good problem to have.

***

Our friend's ended up in the emergency room.
I'm the first to get the call, since the other person (people?) she'd call are a few towns away.
I rush there, and am met by a care nurse. He talks to me and then takes me to a very small waiting room.
As I sit there, it washes over me, this horrible sadness and nervousness. I thank god that we know it's minor, that our friend is perfectly fine. Otherwise, this must be the most terrible room in the world. There's no warmth here. Only a dark sense of anxiety.
I never want to go back to that room.

***

I'm playing with her new phone since she's trying to show it off. Fiddling with the buttons, I open her received texts.
I know what I'm going to find. I don't want to see it. But, some impulse : I have to.
What I read there makes my stomach turn. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, why don't you listen to us?! How can this be okay?! I've talked myself hoarse. I've cried, screamed, listened, tried to understand. For over a year now. None of it has changed anything, and now it's come to this.
I'm lost for her. I'm scared for her.
There is literally nothing I can do.
I buckle all of those emotions down and walk away. I have to. For my own sanity, for my own life. It's the only option left.
I'll be there when she needs me.
Dear God, please don't let it be in one of those little rooms.

4th of July

2008-07-09T15:11:00.005-04:00

Because I don't want this to get lost in all the busy, this is the last week in Jenni-ness :

♡ Friday night after work I got talked into meeting up with Stace and Mike for TasteFest Detroit. I was kind of worn out and not feeling up to doing anything, but I'm so glad Pete changed my mind! We spent a couple hours of wandering around listening to good music and eating amazing food (the sushi was the best!!). Yes, you can say a lot of bad things about Detroit and I'm still sort of an awe-struck Yooper. But nights like this? The city is amazing and welcoming and fun. Afterwards we had a few drinks at bar closer to home. Then Pete and I ended up staying up really late having a heart-to-heart, which has been the best part of my week. I love that man.

what a goof

♡ Saturday we met up with my bestie and her husband. It was their fifth anniversary!!! Holy crap, time flies. We BBQ'ed in the park since it was perfect weather, got ice cream, and then wandered downtown to watch fireworks. The fireworks themselves left something to be desired but the company was the best ever. Kris, baby? Seventy more years. Trust :P

blurry, but they're so cute!

♡ On Sunday we had (another) BBQ. This time with Pete's family. I got to meet one of his Aunt's for the first time, and she is just lovely! There was a little bit of drama, but that just ended up making me feel closer to the relatives that I like. Honestly, the whole situation made me feel really included - I'm so lucky to be joining this famiy!

I wish I had more energy to express how wonderful it all was, how much I enjoyed the friendships and sun. I know I keep saying it, but it's just flat-out true : this summer keeps kicking my ass with the wonderful.

Tomorrow night we leave for my hometown and my sister's wedding. I don't know how many people will be there, they're expecting craziness :) I miss my family. I miss the woods. I have a list in my head of things to share with Pete, since he's only seen my hometown under 4 foot of snow.

I'll be back with pictures and, I'm sure, some crazy stories.

July - onward!

weekend of lurve

2008-06-26T10:07:00.008-04:00

We had a long Saturday night of partying, where we made some new friends and found out sometimes I can kick ass at darts. I'd thought Friday was a fluke - who knew? Sunday was spent grocery shopping and cleaning. Basically recouperating. And good gawd it makes me feel old just to type that.

So, when Nikki sent me a text on Monday inviting us to the fireworks, it seemed perfect.

The weather was amazing.
After stopping at Friday's for some really bad for us food (mmmm...) we walked through the midway they had set up, smelling elephant ears and roasted corn. I haven't had fair food in forever and it looked like heaven.
I double dog dared Pete to climb on the huge inflatable slide. He didn't take the bait, but I sooooo wanted pictures of that.
We crossed the street behind the booths and found a secluded area with benches and not many people around. Just some older photographers setting up for the show.
Pete and I talked for hours about my sister's wedding, and our wedding, where we're headed in our careers. It was relaxed and wonderful to cuddle with him and stare at the flowers.
A while later, Nikki met up with us, new puppy in tow. Puppies are the most fun thing ever, I think, and Mr. Winchester is no exception. Just a tiny little bundle of too-much energy and love.

A little while later, the fireworks started.

We drove home with the windows open, singing along to cheesy songs and enjoying the warm breeze.

Oh, Summer. Can I kiss you?

[more pictures over on my Flickr stream]

stress, conquered

2008-06-21T09:41:00.002-04:00

I've been super stressed out lately. For reasons I should be, as well as that imaginary shit I find myself thinking about at 2am when instead I could be curled up against The Boy and having sweet dreams.

On Thursday, it finally crashed in on me when I got sick at work and walked myself home at 11:30. I ended up camped out on the couch until 7pm napping on and off. But mostly on.
Pete brought dinner home and then kept me company on the couch until bedtime.
I woke up yesterday feeling better than I have in months.

Then yesterday? Oh, it was amazing. I'm gunna protect myself by not blogging much here. Let's just say what was supposed to be a lunch date with certain (managerial +) coworkers turned into a very long lunch. With haircuts (not mine) and talking and basically letting all of that stress go. I got so many compliments yesterday, too. Sometimes a girl needs to hear that she's the cutest thing ever, even if it's not true. Maybe hearing that makes it true for a second? Either way = nice.
I let go of all responsibility and any thoughts other than "fun". Even running into That Shaggy Looking MF'er (ha!) ended up just being hilarious. Cattiest Boy EVER.
After all of that, there was some throwing each other around (in the best way) and then some snuggling while watching CSI.

This morning I'm at work. But my head is already weekend-bound, and there's only six and a half hours to go.

I needed this in so many ways. I try to keep a brave face on, but the stress was eating away at that. And now? It's not.

This is disjointed and messy and floaty, sort of like my head today.
And I'm so appreciative of that.

I should be thinking about sending out the loan payment, and my sister's upcoming wedding, and making an eye appointment.
But - blech.

I'd rather think about kicking ass at darts (me??? really?!) and dance floor freaks, and how Kris really needs to meet up with us tonight because I miss my best's pretty face.

That's a lot more fun.

year-aversary

2008-06-12T14:50:00.001-04:00

Day #69 reject
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

My PB ~

Wow, it's been a year today that I've known you. You've brought such amazing things into my life, baby. Every day I try to show how grateful I am for you. You're the most generous, expressive, loving, bratty man I've ever known. I love how you dance around singing goofy songs. I love when you get overly dramatic, and that you put up with the same from me. I love how you're so sure we'll have tomorrow (and every day after that).

Tonight I'd hoped for the Big Romantic Dinner and loveage. But we're going into our sixth day without power. Maybe that's better, maybe that's more us.

Our relationship (like tonight) has been about things happening without a plan. One drinky night out with a friend, and there you are. One broken car starter and our stay-overs turn into living together. One random conversation with one of my best friends, and you're deciding it's the right time to propose.

I like that about you, about us. I can't imagine my life without that now. You've taught me to be stronger, take risks, and really believe in myself. You've shown me that every thing that happens, good or bad, is a way to get better and stronger together.

So, thank you my crazy Petey Butter.
And .. ees not possseble. Swears.

jack & candles

2008-06-11T15:01:00.003-04:00

Saturday night we headed downtown for the Raconteur's concert. We had a few beers in the bar attached to the hall, then got in line about an hour before the doors opened.
I bought a t-shirt (so cute!)as soon as we were let in, and then we headed to the stage.
There were a whole lot of tall people already there. Since I'm very short, we decided to go up to the second level. We were only about 10 people back from the stage and I could see (!!).
I hadn't brought my camera because I thought they weren't allowed in. When we got the little pre-enterance speech, I found out we could. Oh, sad Jenni.
When we found our spots, this girl started talking to me. Turns out she and her boyfriend had brought their cameras and she's going to email me pics. Which is amazing because we were *this close* to Jack!
He is, seriously, so much hotter in person. I guess it helps that I've been crushing on him for five years. And the show itself was freaking amazing. Jack does this great job of letting everyone have their turn in the spot light. I think this is maybe a bigger deal since we saw him in Detroit. Hometown Boy, for sure. We'd even talked to this mother & daughter in line who'd driven from Akron just for the show. They were adorable in their "We <3 Jack" shirts.

Sunday morning we got up late and then went on a search for dresses for my sister's wedding. It's going to be in the woods, so nothing fancy. I'd offered to buy dresses for all four of us girls in the wedding party.
Stace was going to go with us, but she didn't get a hold of me until after we'd left so we decided to meet up for dinner instead.
It didn't take us long to find and buy the dresses and I'm really happy with what we chose. Also, Pete's an amazing shopper! Just : bam!! DONE! Another reason I love this man.

After dinner, we headed home to relax and a huge thunderstorm went through. So, there went our power. Note : this is Sunday around 5pm.

We ended up going to Stace & Mike's to watch a movie and play a board game, and came home early since we were wiped. Still no power. We lit some candles and tried to make it a romantic night.

Monday it was still damn hot. We went to get lunch (no electricity, by this time all the food in our fridge & freezer was pretty much dead) and ended up going to two movies just for the a/c.
I was getting a little edgy and, with no estimates on when the power would be back, not very happy. But we lit some more candles and I played my DS until the battery died. I am so kicking ass at Zelda, by the way.

Yesterday, I got to take a cold shower in the morning (so gross) and then head into work. I was excited to be in a cool building, and to plug in my electronic stuff since even my phone had started to die.
Pete called around mid-morning saying that they were estimating another 32 hours of outage for us.

He picked me up from work and we went to dinner. We were sitting there : kind of gross, grouchy, tired, sick at the thought of another night of dimness and boredom. We looked at each other.
"Can't do this," I told him. "We're getting a hotel room tonight."
So we went down the block and checked in.

I have never wanted to make out with anything as much as I wanted to give it to that tv. And - oh! - the cool air. The hot water! The noise that wasn't the jackhammer-level generator running the corner traffic light.
JOY!!!
We wallowed in the hotel-ness of it all. I took two showers. We watched CSI and 30 days and the Daily Show.
Suddenly, life seemed worth it again.

After work today, I'm doing a guest server thing to raise money for Habiat for Humanity. We're finishing at 8:30 and then some friends are meeting up with us for dinner.
We're being told the power will be back on by midnight tonight. I'm hoping for 10pm so that it'll be there when we get home.

So, yeah. We've been without electricity from Sunday at 5pm til ... hopefully midnight on Wednesday.
It's been an interesting week. I'm really looking forward to watching tv on my own couch and cooking an actual meal.
Whew!

glad it's over

2008-06-05T12:24:00.002-04:00

We pretty much had the Weekend Of Suck. Yup. For real. I'm glad it's over.

To cap it off, I woke up Monday if a burst blood vessel in my eye. It is sooooo nasty!!! After a quick Google search to make sure my eye isn't going to fall out of my head (it isn't *whew*) I put on my glasses and my best pout.
Seriously - 7 to 10 days to heal? Messing with my concert this weekend? NOT COOL, eyeball. Not cool at all.

Then it's been work work work - clean! - work work. Although there's a rumor going around that the working from home thing got approved. That would be nice some days! Although I don't have nearly the commute I used to, it'd still be nice to stay in my PJs and get paid for it!
I have this fear that I'd get a little lazy, though. Kind of forget that I'm working and wander off?

After I got over the suckage of last weekend, I have been pretty productive!
Got the hotel & car reservations set for my sister's wedding in July. I haven't seen my family since Christmas, and that's the longest I've ever gone. I'm almost counting the days already!
My Mom and I email each other almost every day, I talk to my Dad once a week or more on the phone, but it's just not enough! And my niece and nephew? Man, I can't wait to see their happy faces.

*sigh*

Okay, back to work.
I hope you're all having a great week!

co-workers rule

2008-05-31T10:17:00.008-04:00

I don't know if this'll be funny to anyone else, but I don't want to lose this.

My co-worker, L, is amazing. She'll be 60 next month. She's the spunkiest woman I've ever met, and seriously kicks ass in every way imaginable.
She was the "weekend lead" this month, which means that she deals with anything unusual that comes up over the weekend.

As background, our actual Team Lead is a bit of a pill. And a hyper-competitive know-it-all who tends to mis-spell every third word even when sending an email to chastise someone else for their spelling.

This morning, L sends us all this email :

I'm the lead! The HBIC, as it were. (Head B In Charge)

So you peons need not do your own thinking today. I will take care of that for you. You must check with me before imparting any information to our customers so that I can make sure it is grammatically correct and spelled impeccably. And of course, that every behind has been properly kissed.

Do all this, my minions and you shall be rewarded with yet another nugget of my infinite and unmatched wisdom that you may carry with you for the rest of your days on earth.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

We all about fell out of our chairs laughing.

concerts & changes

2008-05-31T09:25:00.004-04:00

It was such a gorgeous night for walking. As we parked and started toward the theater, I couldn't help but smile. A lot, like the huge dork I am.

Last time I saw Kids in the Hall on tour, it meant a six hour drive and a weekend spent with friends. I was going straight from their place to Australia the morning after the show. It was actually my first Australia trip. I was so heart-poundingly, sickly nervous for that trip, seeing the Fab Five barely registered. My head was too full of anticipation and a dimpled, accented boy and an uncertain future.

Six(-ish) years later, it's a ten minute drive to see KITH and that boy and I exchange occassional email messages trying to settle into a new friendship that I'm not sure I want.

As we're walking to the theater, we see a film crew on the street, and Sigourney Weaver. She's filming some LifeTime movie in our town. We sit down and have a beer before we find our seats.

The show is awesome. The Kids are still the funniest shit ever. The moments where they fuck up are the best. Kevin's robe flying open and givin us all a crotch shot. Earlier, Kev's mic messing up so Dave and he lose it and go off on some hilarious tangent where Dave says, "If I keep sweating balls like this, I'll be back to Hecubus form in no time. Yup, I'm 30 pounds away from them tights!!"
I snuck in my camera and took about 100 pictures. Between the beer, the lights, and the laughing? Not ONE of them turned out.
But that's okay. I don't think I could forget this night anyways. The KITH : Carfucker! shirt I bought? Might be my new favorite thing evar.

After the show, we walked in the warm rain to get pizza and visit with Pete's brother. We were talking about the filming, and he told us that Michael Cera is also in town, making a different movie. He's been seen buying salad *LOL*, which about killed me. People gossiping about salad.

As we walked back to the car holding hands, I thought about what my friend Nikki said to me the other day. She told me how proud she was of me for what I've accomplished in the four years she's known me : ultra tiny town girl, moving here basically by myself, building a life and support system that I can really count on, finding my stride. I thought about it more while we were getting ready for work this morning (ew to Saturday work) and Pete was dancing around singing.
"You are so fucking adorable in the mornings, I love that," I told him.
What I really wanted to say, what I really feel, is this :

I am so very thankful for every minute I spend here, every minute of this life that I didn't even imagine I could find. Six years ago I was such a different person : alone, overwhelmed, with big plans I think I somehow always knew would fail, feeling trapped in a place with such little opportunity.
And this morning I'm living in an area I love, kissing the boy I thought I'd never find, and making plans for a life I thought I'd never get to experience.

All of that makes bitching about being at work on a weekend seem a little silly.

fun with paints

2008-05-29T11:03:00.003-04:00

Pete and I? Our relationship is totally going to make it *lol*.

We've been through family stress, moving, loss of a job ... and now? Possibly the most trying test yet.
We spent all weekend painting together. And we both survived!

There was an uncertain moment when we were at the store picking out the paint. Pete didn't really want to choose the colors, and I was trying to let him so that he didn't feel all railroaded into something he wasn't going to like. I'd given him a month to look at swatches online and he'd seemed really into it, had even picked pallates for each room we're painting. But then, in the store, he'd changed his mind, and just seemed really unhappy with everything.
"But," he whined "You're not even taking chaaaarge".
"Oh, I'll take control." and stomped over to the swatches to pick out the colors while he slunk off to the computer to check what they had.

A few minutes later he brought over a print out of what he wanted (good man!) and ... it was perfect! Harmony was restored, life was beautiful.

Two days of work later, our bedroom is two very pretty shades of blue. I'll post some pictures later.

It was really nice to play hermit like that. Usually we spend our weekends running around with friends and sleeping in. This was our last one together for a while (my schedule rotates, and I move to Sun/Mon off this month) and declining offers so we could snuggle together and play video games was perfect. Not to mention getting up at a reasonable hour to clean and paint!

Monday it was time to come out of hibernation. Pete and Mike went to play frisbee golf while Stace and I drove the hour to our nearest outlet mall. I have the funniest sunburn on my chest with a seatbelt line across it. I guess that's what we get for having the top down.
We shopped all day, I went a little crazy. But the sundresses?! They were SO CUTE! And I couldn't pass up a new watch. We had the best jambalaya pizza ever, and then headed home to meet up with the guys for a little while before it was home and to bed to get ready for the work week.

This summer has been so much fun already, and it's just starting!

early weekend? Jenni likes.

2008-05-23T14:52:00.004-04:00

Last night after work, Sarah and I went to a this bar down the street. It's all done up in neon, and looks like a Canadian strip club. Seriously, we were shocked that there was no stripper pole! And I totally woulda used that thing, too. Heh. I was all kinds of sad that I forgot my camera. Which gives me an excuse to go back.
We ordered our drinks and spent the next two hours talking (bitching? gossiping?) about work, men, family, and the crappy waitress who didn't check on us for an hour.
And it was exactly what I needed.
As much as Pete listens and tries to understand, it's like anyone's job : you don't understand all the in-fighting and politics and suck unless you work there. And, unless I've had the Worst.Day.Ever. I generally won't talk about work stuff with Pete. He's the most supportive guy, but I'd rather enjoy the time we have together.
I also needed it because it'd been a super-stressful day at work, and only another co-worker would understand why it was hilarious when a certain someone *slammed* down paperwork on her desk and stormed off to a conference room. And why it was awesome that I was called into that conference room five minutes later, and laid the smack down. Yes, I did.
I don't know what happened to the meek, "yes, ma'am" Jenni who didn't stick up for herself. But that girl? She's gone. I'm by no means confrontational. I just learned that I have a right to speak the truth if someone else is speaking crap. And to do it in a polite, respectful way that still gets my point across.
And cracks my supervisor up.

Around 6:30, Pete and his new co-workers joined us. They are awesome! They're mostly really young (early- to mid-twenties), loud, and funny. So much fun to hang out with. I can understand why he's loving the new job so much.
We had a few more drinks with them and grabbed dinner on the way home.
I spent the rest of the night playing my new DS game (Final Fantasy : Crystal Cronicals. Yes, I am a geek. But it just might be the cutest game I've played yet.) before we went to bed.

Today has been crazy busy, and meeting-ful.
But I'm out of here in an hour. Nikki and I are heading to our favorite hole-in-the-wall to talk about non-work stuff (since we spent awhile today talking about in work stuff) and some $2 wells.

The rest of this weekend is going to be full of painting the new apartment. Heh.
I say that, but really : it's craploads of work! I have really good intentions, and I LOVE the idea of waking up to non-white walls. But margaritas and sun might just win out.
Plus Stace & Mike want to meet up. And who can justify painting when there's laughing and friends and good food?
*sigh*
I am weak.

rockin' out

2008-05-20T10:53:00.004-04:00

Awww....
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

In bullets, cuz' really I need to blog more often so I don't get all overloaded with things I want to say.

♡ Friday we had a celebration pot luck at work. Sort of a "way to go, team!" and also because one of our co-workers is getting married. My favorite moment was when Nikki got up and read the card we had gotten for the future wife. FW got misty eyed, the rest of us got misty eyed, it was seriously such a sweet moment. It made me understand that I'm surrounded by fun and positive people even more than I realize.

♡ After that, we picked up Stace & Mike and headed out to a b'day thing for my bestest, Kris. Kris chose to meet up at Mega 80's. They're an 80's cover band and sooooo much fun.
So there were drinks and lots of dancing and did I mention drinks?
At one point the guitarist grabbed some girl's camera to take pictures of her and her friend. Then he pointed it at our group, and of course we got all goofy. So, sorry to the random girl who ended up with pictures of us :(

♡ We woke up late on Saturday and did some stuff around the house. Late that night, we met up with Stace and the Three Mikes (yes, all three were there) for some drinks near the old apartment. Man do we have some some fun friends!

♡ Sunday we napped. Like, a lot. And then did laundry.

♡ Yesterday was filled with meetings at work, including one where we found out that we can dress down every day now, and there will be beer in the employee room! Yes, beer. Every day. And quite possibly wine.
It's not so much that I'd actually drink a beer at work. I just think the whole "casual" atmosphere could be pretty damn cool.

♡ My handsome-est, wonderful Pete put on his suit and tie (the one that matches his eyes - ha!) and started his new job this morning. Good luck, babes! I know you're kickin ass right now.

awesome.

2008-05-15T11:36:00.002-04:00

So, The Boy had an interview last night (it went really well), has one today, and has another one tomorrow.
He is seriously kicking ass. In fact, one of the jobs is about three buildings down from where he used to work. And it would be the same hours. Talk about convenient!

Not that I expected less, but I'm so proud of him.

We've had a few long talks this week, which I think has really brought us closer together. As if that were possible? Mostly, we're just pretty disgustingly cute and happy.

Also, my supe's boss (and one of my bestest) is sending me the most shockingly hilarious texts this morning. If I can think of a way to make 'em less finger-pointy I'll have to share. That girl. She kills me.

Oh! And yesterday, I kind of ran into my Grandfather on MySpace. Yeeeeah. So, just in case .. urhm ... hi, Grandad. I love you.

up and downs

2008-05-13T12:58:00.001-04:00

Life's up and downs
Originally uploaded by CATeyes

Gah, it was a great weekend. We met Stace & Mike for sushi and drinks on Friday, then went next door for drinks. There was a lot of laughing, and Pete ran into a couple of old friends while we were out.
Saturday, the guys played frisbee golf while we girls went shopping. After they got back, we had pizza and watched 'Juno'. Which was as good as I'd heard, and I had to buy the CD. I've had "Vampire" stuck in my head for the last two days.
Sunday we met up with Pete's Mom and brothers for dinner. I think my favorite part of the weekend was watching his Mom kick ass at wii bowling. She was awesome!!! And she's just one of the coolest women.

So yesterday I was sort of worn out from all the fun. We'd decided to buy a wii later this month since we were immediately addicted. I was getting ready to confirm the hotel & rental car for my sister's wedding which is coming up very quickly.

Pete walked in an hour early. I turned around to say "hi" and noticed his face. Knew immediately something was wrong, and knew what it was. Fuck.
He got laid off.

His boss (not the Owner, who'd made the decision) and Pete talked on the phone for a long time last night, which made Pete feel better. He knows it wasn't at all performance based. He knows why the decision was made. I guess that takes some of the sting out for him, but adds to the frustration. If the company had been run correctly, if his boss had any business sense, if suggestions they'd had were implemented ...

I guess we're both just in shock a little bit. I've spent all night making sure he knows that we'll be okay, that I have faith in him, that I know it's for the best (the job was really stressing him out), that he'll have a better job soon.
He applied for unemployment and put in a dozen resumes last night.
We're talking about health insurance options.

So I know things will be okay. This is a very temporary snag which'll only lead us to better things.

But today? It's kind of difficult. I think I'm coming out of the initial OHMAHGAWD-ness of it all and stressing a little bit. I just ... fuck. We were finally at a stage where it wasn't a struggle at all, y'know? Where we could go buy the groceries we wanted without thinking about it. We could go out with friends when we wanted to. Could buy some of the things we wanted for the apartment, and were planning on more of that.

*sigh*

I guess sometimes you just figure you've worked so hard you deserve a little bit of time to let your guard down and relax. And then life happens.

Man. That made me laugh. Melodrama, meet Jenni.

Because then I step back and realize I'm so fucking lucky to have the life I have, the life I'm building with him. So these little set backs? Forget them. In a year I'll barely remember how scary this was. But in a year, Pete and I will be stronger than ever.
And that's what matters.

funny, but not

2008-05-06T15:31:00.001-04:00

Duh !
Originally uploaded by Al- Fassam [ Online! :D ]

We had a long weekend of cleaning, shopping, cooking, sleeping in, and drinks with friends.

Last night after work, it was margarita time! And they were awesome.
And then we came home and I was in bed by 10:30.

But then I was awake until 2. And up at 3:30. And asleep at 4:30. And up at 5. It was nasty!

The alarm went off way too early this morning, and my sweetie took pity on me and drove me into work.
He called a little while later because as he was leaving for work, he locked his keys in the apartment! Poor guy. So he had to walk to where I work, pick up my keys, and walk back since our apartment's office doesn't open until 11.

He says he feels like a dumbass, but he's totally got a great sense of humor about it. I told him that's why I'm so compulsive about checking my pockets three billion times before I shut the door behind me. *lol*

Ach, poor guy.

What a Tuesday.

Also - the tired thing? Totally not normal. I have hypothyroidism, and I thought it's controlled. Apparently not. Also, I'd kind of forgotten it, but I've had around six or seven pretty severe headaches in the last month. This totally isn't like me - I generally get one or two a year, or less. I've always had trouble falling alseep, but now I'm having trouble staying asleep. There're other symptoms, too.
When I woke up today and it'd been the third day in a row I'd barely slept, Pete got really concerned. Yeah - there were margaritas last night which could explain it (although I'd never had that reaction before), but there were only two of them. Plus, there were no drinks the two nights before that.
So he did some research and sent me all this stuff, and I was like DUH. I overlooked that a thyroid problem isn't stabilized just because I get to go for a year without bloodwork - for the first time in 12 or 14 years.
Or maybe I didn't want to face it.
My diet has changed slightly (for the better), I'm getting more exercise now - yeah, all that can affect it.
So, duh again, Jenni.

I have an appointment on June 11th, the earliest my Endo can get me in.
So we'll see!
In the meantime I'm going to try some better-sleep-type stuff to see if that helps. Because, seriously? I'm sleeeeepy.

camera ready

2008-04-30T18:00:00.002-04:00

spotlight
Originally uploaded by johnnyjohnnyma

My company does some work for the Big Three. And our program has been getting a lot of attention lately, since we're the first in the industry that's done it, and the largest program of it's kind.

So the client decided they wanted to do a "behind the scenes/day in the life" type documentary thing to show their employees.

Three of us got chosen to get interviewed. We'd done a spot for a local newscast a few months back, but I was still nervous. This is a lot bigger - it's going out online and it may become a part of their national advertising as well.

The interviewer and camera guy met with us at 9 this morning. We had our area set up, and got rolling.

They did a lot of "b-side" stuff first : shots of us doing our job, stuff like that. Then they started with the interviews.

I was so nervous! And at one point, made a total dork of myself with my big ole' goofy laugh. And I think they'll use it, since after I spoke (and then laughed) the camera guy and interviewer started laughing and then asked me to repeat myself so they could get a better shot of me saying it.
Oh, lord. Of course, Queen Dork. And I think the laugh was even worse the second time.

It took five hours, but was so much fun! I can't wait to see how it turns out. Of course I'm sure I'll hate seeing myself on camera - but seeing my two coworkers and supe will be so exciting! I'm so proud of our team. And this could be really huge for both the client & my company.

We finally went to lunch at two, gorged ourselves, and then it was back to work for an hour before we had another meeting.

So after my walk home, I am wiped. Wiped like I haven't been in a while.

I think it's time to curl up with my honey and watch some crappy tv. Mmm... couch.

Hope you all had a great day, too!

Gelfling

2008-04-29T21:13:00.002-04:00

Jenni/jen
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

So, I'm short. Real short. And this has gotten me lots of nicknames : half pint, little one, shorty ... generally nice stuff.

Starting when I was little, I got called Gelfling because people teased that I looked just like Jen from The Dark Crystal. I loooooved that movie (especially the scary parts), and I could deal with looking like a Gelfling.

But I wanted to be the girl, darn it! And Jen was the boy. They were identical puppets, except the boy had dark hair while she was a blond.

So when I uploaded this picture tonight of me messing around at work for my 365 Project over at Flickr (are you doing this? You totally should be!!) it made me laugh.

Yup. I kind of do.
But I'm okay with that now. Mostly :P

note to self

2008-04-29T13:08:00.001-04:00

Zen Garden
Originally uploaded by euart

"Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment"

Rembember, remember, remember this.
They were all good ones, okay?
Don't forget that.

Maybe some nice Eucalyptus Spearmint instead?

2008-04-28T10:34:00.001-04:00

courtyardflowers2
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

The walk to work this morning was wonderful. It was just cool enough, the flowers were out and smelling pretty, and I was feeling warm and fuzzy from a good night's sleep. That hasn't happened in a while.
I'm thinking about getting a bike. Although the walk to work is nothing, the library is a few miles up from there and it'd be easier to bike.

My Mom emailed me this morning : "Yes - Jenni - you are becoming a hippie. And artsy like Aunt Liz. Though
neither is a bad thing - just strange when you started out being so preppy. LOL"
That woman cracks me up. But being compared to my artistic, out-there, wonderful Aunt Liz was an ego boost.
There are definitely worse relatives I could emulate (did I just say that out loud?!?! *lol*) and I think I finally feel like I'm letting go of that scared little Jenni who wouldn't do anything too far out of the norm.

I think that's partly because of the friends I've been blessed with, the wonderful Pete I've been lucky enough to find, and being my age.

But if this is hippie-dom? Hells, bring on the Petuli stank. I'm ready.

Urhm .. but not really. Cuz, ew.

working through it

2008-04-27T15:23:00.001-04:00

Ren Cen
Originally uploaded by Sweet♡One

Man ... *deep breaths*

My week has been non-stop.

It started on the 20th with packing. And more boxes. And ohmahgawdmakeitstop boxes. We took a break to go to the movies sometime on that Friday.
I honestly barely remember being out of the apartment, much less what movie we saw.

Then the blur that was the movers. It took them over four hours. Granted, that included them taking lunch, but it was still insane.
Pete's Dad and Grandad helped him pick up the new bed set (<3!!!) that night, which was nice.
We went out and bought all new bedding, which was even nicer after the crap we'd been sleeping on.
Honestly, it's the first real, grownup bed I've had in so long ...

The first night there felt like sleeping in a hotel. All new, clean, and it's so much bigger and brighter!

The next day we did some shopping. A new desk for me, desk chairs, floor lamps, an end table to match the coffee table. It was insane and fun. But I was wiped.

Back to work and I actually walked, which was awesome. It's so nice to be out there in the sunlight and early morning no-traffic, with all the flowering trees and dew. It's a nice way to get my head out of the day and just de-stress.

Thursday we had a big meeting at the Ren Cen, so it was a very, very long day. The meeting was really productive, though. And the client was really impressed with our team and how we all get along,
Which, for the most part, is totally true. We're a really diverse team, but we have a lot of respect for each other and we genuinely get along.

Over the weekend, we did some grocery shopping and I had a work party to go to. I also finished up at the old place and turned in the keys.

And ... well, crap. It's been so busy.
I had a mini-meltdown or two.
I'm tired of looking at empty boxes, which are sort of in the way of putting anything else in the right place. And I just want it to be DONE so I can enjoy our new space.
But work is sapping my energy.
And, dammit, sometimes I just want five minutes to veg out.

*sigh*

Pete is super amazing, though. Honestly. I couldn't ask for someone more supportive or understanding.
In fact, while I've been at work today he's been getting all the boxes out of the apartment and making chili!!
Also, he just told me that he invited some friends over for dinner.
Which would have me totally stressed (seriously, living room = WRECK) but I think I'm just too over it to care.

They're good peoples. They'll understand :P