Truth Pirates

Fat kid in a lady-sized body.

2009-07-01T13:45:00.002-05:00

I LOVE LUNCH!

Did you know I love lunch? I loooove lunch. It's my favorite meal of the day. I know people say they love breakfast, but if you take that love and apply it to lunch, that would be my love. I love making delicious lunches, eating delicious lunches, and flaunting them at work for everyone to see. Sometimes if I really love my lunch, I take a picture of it in order to someday annoy you on my blog. And that day, my friends, is today.

Tuna, cheese, avocado sandwich on cracked wheat bread with spinach, romain, avocado and feta salad. Simple. Perf.

Rotisserie chicken, fresh grapes, string cheese, and my brother's homemade banana chocolate chip bread. Meeeeep!

You saw this one. Salad with farmers market blueberries, strawberries, spinach, romain, pea pods, kiwi, avocado, fresh baked chicken, and feta - the salad dressing of champions. Mhmm.

This was one of my favorite lunches. I was off early one day and took myself to one of my most beloved coffee shops and delighted in this bagel with pesto cream cheese. Have you had pesto cream cheese? If you haven't, you should. You really should soon. Geeeeeee!

You also probably saw this one. Sometimes I eat like a little kid, and that was one of the days. It was warm enough to eat outside on the balcony so I hopped up there and enjoyed a salami and pepperjack sandwich on country white bread with a spot of applesauce and some strawberries. Yammers!

Ooo. This was a good day. Wheat toast with homemade jam adopted from my jam-hatin' roommate, summer sausage and cheese, pretzels, hummus and fresh green beans. Yes please!

I know what you're thinking. What is this sloppy, disgusting mess? Well bite your tongue, you heathen! This was my first attempt at mom-style hommemade hamburger pizza. It was a little soupier than I would have liked (or than mom would have ever served) but it tasted just as awesomely delicious. And, as you'll note, it's garnished with some green beans and a crunchy Honeycrisp apple. Gleeeep!

And don't worry, I have prepared a dessert for you. Chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting and fresh strawberries on top. Birthday style. Eat it up, blog faces!

I LOVE LUNCH!

Oh Anna.

2009-06-26T11:22:00.001-05:00

I've been unbelievably busy this week. Busier than ever, ever before. With a launch of a new website and as the producer for one of our new blogs, I can barely take a bathroom break much less a quick phone call.

Early in the evening yesterday my phone rang. It was my friend from work, who was also my college roommate. Let's call him Nate. I pick up the phone.

Me: WHAT.

Nate: Hey Anna. What's up?

Me: Nothing how are you.

Nate: Pretty good. Headed up north.

Me: Cool. What's up? I'm really busy at work.

Nate: Oh, yeah?

Me: Yeah. So what do you want?
I've got like a million things due in the next five minutes.

Nate: Oh, nothing. It's not a big deal.

Me: Ok cool, talk to you later.

Nate: Yeah, just give me a call when you leave work.

Me: Wait. Why?

Nate: Nothing, it's not a big deal.

Me: No, what?

Nate: Well I don't want to add anything to your list of things to do.

Me: No it's ok, what do you need?

Nate: No seriously, just call me later, it's ok.

Me: No, just tell me. Is it about work? What's up?

Nate: No really it's ok just call me after work.

Me: No, what?

Nate: No it's ok call me later.

Me: Ok now you're freaking me out. What is it?

Nate: I was just wondering if you would do a reading at my wedding.

*silence

*silence

*Anna makes squeaky noises

Me (three octaves higher): Oh! Oh! Of...course! Of course I will!

*silence

Nate: Cool.

Me: Can I...mime it?

Nate: There are unlimited production opportunities available to you.

Me: Th...thank you!

I am a terrible, awful friend! I am sorry "Nate". I can't wait to read at your wedding on a golden elephant wearing a dinosaur outfit and waving a flag of you and your new wife's faces. Love youuuuu!

Jealous?

2009-06-24T14:07:00.002-05:00

You should be! Thanks, farmers market. I love you.

Working on my fitness

2009-06-24T00:21:00.002-05:00

I joined a gym a few weeks ago and decided to start a self-imposed diet at the same time. My diet is called, "Don't Eat Crap" and involves lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and lean proteins. The one slice of cheese I have on my daily lunch sandwich is OK but all other cheeses are out. Olives are OK, but only seven at a time. I've been munching lots of salads from Whole Foods and carrot-beet-kale juices from the vegan restaurant down the street. As of this morning I'm seven pounds lower than I was when I started my new life plan (on Saturday the scale told me I'd lost 7.5 pounds but I think it was lying).

My plan is to keep weight-lifting until I can open a jar of pickles on my own and cardio until I could successfully hunt a wildebeast. My gym has these crazy elliptical machines that make one look as if one is bounding through a magical fairy forest in attempts to greet a unicorn.

Thus far my gym attire consists of gym shorts I got for cross country in 9th grade that are entirely too short for me and lovely t-shirts such as my bright yellow "Rappel! Ding" shirt from senior year French class or my oversize rhubarb shirt from a much-beloved college roommate.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I broke myself.

2009-06-23T14:59:00.002-05:00

My foot hurts when I walk. A LOT. I'm not sure precisely how it happened, but I know it happened after rocking at an outdoor concert this weekend. Except after all the things I did that day which included:

Biking to and fro the farmers market
Sidestepping babies, dogs, gardeners and pushy people in the rows at said farmers market
Cleaning my 200 degree apartment top to bottom
Standing for nine straight hours
Pouring and serving beer to hundreds of people out of a tiny tent
Running from one end of the concert to the other, barefoot

The thing that actually hurt my foot was:

Stepping into a car

I spent three hours at urgent care the next day only to be told that my foot is not broken, nor sprained. I was given a tetanus shot because the foot was cut a tiny bit, and after giving me a totally useless ace bandage all the doctor could say was "Yeah I don't know...maybe it's a bruise?" When my mouth dropped and I just kept saying "Why, why, why can't I walk then? Why?" she left the room saying, "Well at least we know your tetanus shot is up to date!"

Yes doctor. Now, in addition to being a hobbling mess, I can't lift my left arm above my head. Thanks!

Frankie lives!

2009-06-17T11:52:00.001-05:00

After a softball game yesterday, a couple members of my team and I headed out towards our cars. We had to cross a small field on the University campus to get there, and I slowed when I realized that two of my friends had plopped down in the grass to look at something.

The thing they were watching was scurrying around in a patch of grass and weeds but it was much too big to be a mouse or rat or even squirrel, but much too small for even a kitten.

Turns out...it was a guinea pig! He was terrified and out of his element. Someone had just dumped him and all of his cage materials in the grass, including carrots and the liner chips from his cage. Can you believe it? I snapped a picture of him with my cell phone in case you cannot.

I left to meet up with the rest of our team at the bar, but the guys became obsessed with little Frankie (I yelled "good luck with Frank!" as I walked away and the name stuck). An hour and a half after I left, they reported to me that they brought him to the Golden Valley Humane Society where he could be properly taken care of.

They called to check on him yesterday, and the staff said he is doing perfectly well and in a few days will be ready to be adopted. Well done, boys!

Bike love.

2009-06-16T11:04:00.000-05:00

Look how she just patiently waits for me even though you can tell she's about ready to fly away from that fence straight up into the sky. Oh Lucy!

Thanks a lot "Wham".

2009-06-11T13:25:00.005-05:00

I was really excited to look up the song that was the #1 Billboard hit on my day of birth, then I was incredibly disappointed to find out it was "Careless Whisper" by Wham. Sick!

Do you have a better one?

(By the way, my heart tells me this video is John Candy's finest work.)

Meet my new boyfriend!

2009-06-10T14:05:00.000-05:00

I know I've been dropping hints here and there about the new man in my life. You know...you heard his phone message. You heard all about our first date. Well, I think it's finally time for you to meet him. I'm pretty nervous to just include a picture of him right in this blog but, you know, I'm just going to put this out there for everyone to see. I think it'll help move our relationship to the next level.

As you can see, he's really tall. This is me about to hold his hand.

We LOVE holding hands.

Who pooped?

2009-06-04T11:40:00.002-05:00

This is honestly the most fun I have ever had learning about animals via their poop! I am so impressed with the Minnesota Zoo. Try it out.

http://www.whopooped.org/

Peonies from the farmers market

2009-05-30T21:09:00.001-05:00

They were buds this morning.

Adorable emails.

2009-05-29T15:16:00.002-05:00

Both my dad and my grandma write the most hilarious and adorable emails. Also, my dad often sends his in all caps because he stares at the keys and doesn't realize his entire email was capitalized until he's ready to hit send. And for some reason the text in his emails is often bright blue. Here is a sampling:

From Dad, talking about me doing Grandma's oral history last weekend:

Hey bring your recorder you'll have gma to yourself take her up in the loft I'll bring you a glass of wine or a beer with lime in it and we'll give her some tea and a piece of banana bread.

From Grandma:

I had a weird experience on Wed., I went to the Hallmark card store to pick up some cards & it was pouring out plus high winds so I zipped up my reversible jacket so I could pop the hood on & when I got in the store I was there for a bit & decided to unzip it but I couldn't get zipper to move down so I moved it up a bit to get it started and it still wouldn't budge so I tried it again, wouldn't budge, now I have it up to my adams apple & I started to panic, there was only one clerk in the store so I waited & peeked to see if she was free and I asked her to PLEASE cut the damn thing off me but she thought she could get it to work, buy this time people in the store started coming to her rescue, I had my head locked into this jacket & I was sooooo embarrassed you have no idea plus the hot flashes were back full score. I knew I couldn't drive home that way, but she was determined and she finally got it to work. Man, I was a nervous wreck and we surely didn't need an audience. I know people thought they could be helpful. Sooo, that's the end of that story & I'm signing off.

From Dad, describing his mother's day present to my mom:

SHE'LL GET A KICK OUT OF YOUR SURPRISE VISIT. i GOT HER A COOL RED RAIN COAT FOR FISHING IN THE RAIN AND A POCKET KNIVE FOR CUTTING LINE, PUTTING NEW LURES ON, ETC. SHE CAN ALSO USE IT TO KILL PEOPLE THAT WOULD ATTACK HER.

The dessert so nice I made it twice

2009-05-25T19:38:00.002-05:00

Although I would consider myself a semi-competent cooktress, I haven't made many forays into baking. Whether this is due to rabid fear of failure or my complacency with a good ol' pint of B & J's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk, I do not know. My repertoire consisted solely of apple crisp and that ill-fated Disaster Cake... until now.

Do you read food blogs? You should. By blogs, of course, I am only referring to the exalted Smitten Kitchen, which I discovered through my dear friend McSamalama. All other blogs pale in comparison to Deb's beautious photos, story-ful prose and down-right darn good eatin'. I've made this Moroccan Stew for a few dinner parties, and each time it enters my guests' mouths they literally shriek with deliciousness.

Deb has often tempted me with her delectable desserts, but until yesterday I was too chicken to give them a go. Dangle anything strawberry-rhubarb in front of my face, though, and I'll do anything you say. Her strawberry-rhubarb crumble was too mouth-watering to pass by.

I made a batch last night along with some Quiche Gone Wild and broiled asparagus to surprise the manf after his long day of selling snake oil at Barnes and Noble. The guy thought he hated rhubarb. You bet your bip he thought again. His verdict? "Perfect."

We got invited to a Memorial Day barbecue today. I got a little cocky, and decided to use the same recipe to make my very first pie with the extra shell I had (I'm too chicken to make my own crust just yet). Behold:

I know that if the pie fell or if the stray alley cat jumped up and snatched it, it would make for a much better tale. But that hasn't happened. So this is the end. OKBYE.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

2009-05-23T13:18:00.003-05:00

These geese wandered within five feet of me while I was waiting to be picked up from my Excel training at a "learning center" in Beaverton. I derived great amusement from imagining them waddling up to my instructor and honking, "You're a quack!" (He wasn't, but, you know... puns.)

The farmers market has been back in action for weeks now, but I only just made my way down there this morning. I wish I could send you a smell-o-gram from this place. Eau de Sustainability, I tell you.

I stumbled upon proof of what I've always known while at the Rose Garden this week. That could totally be my handwriting from a past life.

Old people are cute when they podcast.

2009-05-22T10:26:00.005-05:00

To help explain how easy podcasting is, three "senior citizens" stopped by our studios to record an informational song this week. I really think you're going to like it.

Please enjoy.

Pay close attention to Betty. She might sound a bit......familiar.......to you. If you know what I'm saying. Ahem.

My life as a fish.

2009-05-19T14:00:00.003-05:00

When I started my other blog (which is really just the exact stuff I put on this blog with the occasional added musings), I decided to take every blog entry that I had written in my 20th to 21st years of life and put them in one giant entry so that they may be preserved in order for me to take note of and/or make fun of them for all eternity. Then, I decided to wordle that giant entry's ass.

What comes up, is a fish.

Some of my favorite combinations of frequently used words are as follows.

kind amazing man work
little Daily go friend
always happy well never
love Anna sleep girl
Kristin maybe stuff face
new shower year
every semester day got things

and the winner (quite applicable to my life, I might add)

just really probably good

I love my bike but...

2009-05-18T11:17:00.007-05:00

Listen. I apologize for never formally introducing my new bike Lucy to you. But as she and I biked just shy of 100 miles together last week, I figured it was high time. So. Lucy, meet TP readers. TP readers, meet Lucy. She lives upstairs in my apartment with me because she gets rusty if she's outside and it rains. That means I frequently can be spotted hauling her up and down stairs.

Thing is, Lucy is super sharp. Yes, in the smart way, but also in the way that cuts me, bruises me, makes me bleed, and fills my cuts with chain grease. Luckily my cell phone takes crap pictures so the details of my injuries will not be too graphic for you. But you get the idea. My legs (though strong like bull) look like they've been attacked by a greasy alley cat who knows how to punch.

Tea parties and shower curtains.

2009-05-13T13:53:00.003-05:00

You know how much I love my new apartment. To show it off a few weeks ago I held a tea party for five of my lady friends. Please feast your eyes on these delectables:

After we ate but before we watched "Drop Dead Gorgeous" - a Minnesota staple - we perused (and I do mean the correct definition of peruse, which is to examine or consider with attention and in detail) these inappropriate naked man cards circa 1982 that I snatched at a recent clothing swap.

I have to admit though, there is something incredibly weird about my apartment that I have been holding back from you. I have very odd-shaped ceilings that even affect the way my shower is laid out. Since I'm on the top floor of my house, enormous chunks of my ceilings are taken out, thus resulting in this disaster of a shower rod:

I crafted an elaborate clip system to keep the bottom of the curtain in check. I think you'll be impressed with my precision and ingenuity. Observe.

So the house of sunshine has a few quirks, including having no kitchen storage space. But no matter - I store the cleaning supplies in the bathroom and I hang my pots on the wall. I'm like a modern day Boxcard Kid.

Plus, allow me to introduce you to my two new roomies, Mark and Bedilia.

The Next American Dream

2009-05-13T13:05:00.001-05:00

The national business show Marketplace, which airs on many public radio stations across the country, just launched a big project called "The Next American Dream", and I helped. Here is an audio slideshow I made, but I'm not geeky enough to figure out how to embed it onto this page so you'll have to settle for a screenshot (though it is, admittedly, one of my favorite photos from the slideshow).

Please enjoy.

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/features/nextamericandream/ss/pij/

My first piece of crocheted art

2009-05-10T12:59:00.003-05:00

About a month ago I went to a crochet-a-thon at the Museum of Contemporary Craft to aid in a new project by fiber artist Mandy Greer. Though I've been knitting for about six years, the only crocheting I've mastered is the chain stitch. With the help of a crochet book my ma got me for Channukah to augment what I learned at the museum, I decided to make a doily.

I thought I was following the directions correctly, but instead of a flat, circular piece of fabric, I ended up with a cone:

At first, I thought: baby hat! I don't know too many infants with cone heads, though, so that was out. Eventually, inspiration struck: bra cup. I set to work making a bridge to go between them, and attempted to make the new cup from the bottom up. Things didn't quite go as planned, and I ended up with the doily I had originally tried to make:

Whoopsies. Do you want to see how silly this looks? Of course you do.

Since the only mirror we have in our new apartment is this small one in the bathroom, I enlisted the help of my infinitely helpful and very shirtless boyfriend to further illustrate the depth of my art.

And now, a side view:

Hawt.

Allow me to introduce evil to you.

2009-05-08T11:11:00.005-05:00

My boss has two pet turtles. She was away for the week and asked me to take care of them. One got out of her tank and hid under a chair and then when I picked her up she hissed and flailed her claws and tried to kill me. So I lobbed her into the tank and ran for my life, stopping in the kitchen to wipe the evil off my hands. One of my coworkers got the interaction on cell phone video.

There is a debate going on at my work about two things. 1. Whether or not these turtles are adorable and great pets. 2. Whether I abused the turtle by, um, hurling her into the tank when I thought she was going to kill me. Check out the (really bad) video and see what you think. And while you're at it, go ahead and take a hard look into the beady eyes of my reptilian nemesis, and see if she doesn't send a shiver straight down your back.

Media creds
picture: Tom "you should totally say how great a photog I am" Weber
video: Molly "you're so brave" Bloom

Evil, evil girl scouts!

2009-05-04T16:37:00.004-05:00

I've eaten eight Tagalongs today.

EIGHT.

TAG.

ALONGS.

I love my neighborhood.

2009-05-03T13:42:00.001-05:00

Don't cough on me, Alejandro.

2009-04-30T11:34:00.009-05:00

I'm pretty sure I had swine flu two weeks ago. Symptoms include fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. I TOTALLY HAD THOSE. And then it's supposed to go away on its own. IT TOTALLY DID.

Technically you're supposed to have had a history of activity that put you in contact with it, or live in one of the U.S. states that have reported swine flu cases. Minnesota is one. And I haven't recently been to Mexico, but I was in Hawaii in February and while there I dined at a place called "La Cucaracha". So, there you go.

They would want you to feel better.

2009-04-29T11:41:00.001-05:00

A few months ago my friend Tom was sick so I made this to make him feel better. He's a big fan of the Muppets and I had just read an article about them making a comeback in The New York Times, so I snagged this picture and put a spin on it. I pride myself on the accuracy with which I conveyed their voices and their concern (or lack there of) for someone who is sick. Click to enlarge!