thrills, not frills

Work

2008-10-09T10:44:00.001-07:00

The view out my office window looks like a spreadsheet.

2008-10-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sick of being an angry critic. I'm better than this and I am going to maximize myself. This is all because of the subway, Lester Bangs, Lou Reed and 1974.

TV on the Radio - Dear Science

2008-09-30T16:56:00.000-07:00

Dear TV on the Radio,

So, I was listening to your new album, Dear Science and I think I know what's going on here. I realize you've lost touch with yourselves...Things are changing. Brooklyn's changing, the world is changing, you, yourselves are changing and I think what's happening is an identity crisis. The pressure of being one of the best bands right now, in a world of shit, is crushing you. People expect things from you, I understand, because I am one of them.

Let me tell you a story about your band. I remember seeing you at Emo's after Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes came out. Zykos opened up and I was in the front row with Eric. When they were packing up their gear Eric struck up a conversation with the lead singer about you, Tv on the Radio, and he said something very true, that I also thought: "You know, I really liked the EP better." The EP was, is, will always be better than your first album, not saying I didn't like Desperate Youth but after hearing the Young Liars EP I guess I expected more...I expected too much. And for the record, you guys put on one hell of a show and there was that one superfan with the white tie that grabbed the random girl's hand when you were playing Dreams that jumped on stage to be close to you and got thrown out. Thanks for all that.

But after listening to Dear Science for about the third time I realized what I was doing wrong. I was forcing myself to like it, for the sake of the state of the world of music. So when I dropped that notion, I realized that it sounds very forced, like you guys didn't even know what you were doing, so you tried to recreate what you're supposed to sound like, while throwing in some elements that usually make songs successful: the Spector wall of sound effect, strings, and other pleasant sounding instruments. I don't think I even heard layered vocal tracks or harmonies...It's like one guy was given the burden to sing all the songs realizing they weren't that great. You must have had a heavy soul in the wrong kinda way.

At first I liked Family Tree, but I pretty much settled on that song...Which song should be my favorite on the album? Well Family Tree is cohesive, has a sort of stable structure and there's some strings and it's kind of sweet, but what the fuck are you trying to say? That's the big problem, what are you trying to say with this album? I don't think you have anything to say, or maybe you didn't look deep enough, you didn't get in touch with yourself. Shit you should've sang about how it sucks to have all this pressure on you to make a good third album. At least you didn't sing about politics because bands that sing about politics nowadays use it as a cop out, like Hey I don't have a message...Well instead of giving off that vibe we can act like we care about the war and send out the message that we should all stop fighting...

I got to the next to last track and then realized I wanted to listen to the Young Liars EP because I remember you making me feel something at some point. So I go to Grooveshark, get it on and start with the song Blind. It hits me like a brick wall, that song is incredible...and don't even get me started on Staring at the Sun. What I think you need to do is revisit yourselves. Check out when you had passion and could combine everything to sound like one instead of many. Then realize shit's changed. It's okay, it's called growth. And you don't have to grow while sounding the same, you're totally allowed to change, just don't be afraid that you won't be well received...People that really like Dear Science don't get it, and selling records only because of hype and popularity doesn't cut it. You know this. So, dudes, go on vacation, get the fuck out of town, get away in order to get back to yourselves cos I know you aren't gonna enjoy touring with this material, you better have some damn good visuals and be encoring with Wolf Like Me or else real people are gonna be bored. And by real people I mean me.

Love you guys!

Sincerely,
Alex

RRIICCEE at Hiro on September 24th: "I feel like I'm in a mental institution."

2008-09-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

“Improvisation is not a good word for what we're doing. It's more a gesture of composing and performing at the same time, always hoping to avoid musical cliché or jamming. We've chosen not to go into a studio in a traditional way like other bands have done in the past, to make recordings, cut them up, dub on them, fine tune and mix them, and then release them as an album, then later, go on tour, pantomiming those recordings over and over each night as a form of cabaret. Instead, for a long time now, we've chosen to remain open, to grow and change more naturally, and when we play live, the music is often created during the performance. If we choose to record a performance, the recording itself is only evidence of that creative moment. The purpose of recording then, is to listen back for enjoyment."

It was all very lackluster, attractive men playing attractive instruments for a crowd of attractive people. It would’ve been a great scene in a movie, but to consider it music would require it to have soul. It was soulless, disconnected almost-noise with drums barely holding it together. Vincent Gallo, and brothers Nikolas and Simon Haas resembled monkeys teetering around on keyboards and hitting things with mallets. Nikolas was actually only wearing a brown fur coat and red boots, because the caveman look has been in ever since those Geico commercials, you know.

It seemed that a memo had been sent out to let Vincent Gallo have the spotlight so as Vincent picked up vintage instrument after vintage instrument, the two brothers tried to form some sort of rhythm around his pickings which had me questioning whether he knew how to play guitar or not. The very brief moments where it all came together were not enough to make up for the lack of cohesion throughout the rest of the performance. And it seemed that whenever some sort of music started to be played, one of them would deliberately stop the flow, it was like they were all fighting for the spotlight under it all, though it was obviously held by Gallo.

After ten minutes I decided that I paid $25 to watch a bad band practice, later to be followed by a “controversial” Vincent Gallo meet and greet. I didn’t shake his hand, didn’t go up and wait in line to meet him because I couldn’t think of anything I would truly want to tell him and I wasn’t about to give him a spurious compliment that he didn’t deserve. Thinking back the only sincere compliment I could have told him would have been, “Vincent, wonderful vintage suede fringe coat. But you already know that.” But then again, immediately after the show the three went back and rapidly changed out of their “costumes” into very chic, subtle jeans, shoes and leather jackets. Were they supposed to be in character while on stage? Seems like a cop out, unless this was all just a big planned scene for a new Vincent Gallo movie. If so, I would be forgiving.

After ten minutes I was hoping that all the broken sounds would start to change and grow and the last song would be a beautiful spontaneous melody, but this never happened. Yes, people clapped and cheered. And after saying “Thank You” into one of the microphones they left the stage and left the audience thinking Encore? It started somewhere, someone started to applaud, then there was a contagion of applause and then it died out. Then it started back up again, lasted a minute and died back down again. It happened once more before the lights came up and the music came on. Did people really want more or were they just being polite? Were they unsure if the massacre was completely over, wondering if RRIICCEE would get back on stage to deliver the final death blow? I was insulted but not surprised.

I can’t help but think that black people would’ve been highly amused by what these white guys dressed like chicks wanted to pass for music. During the show I actually replaced who was on stage with an image of jazz musicians from the days of old and it made me miss what RRIICCEE was lacking even more.

Thank the Lord

2008-09-22T10:07:00.001-07:00

Well, it looks like things are looking up for music. The new Oasis is getting me through the real life and TV on the Radio is still going strong after three albums. But really, the new Oasis, I've got to say, has changed my feelings about them. They've actually chilled out on the pop ballad-ness and have become more real. I feel Dig Out Your Soul, great album name, great album cover by the way, and maybe that's what they did while making the album, not to get sentimental or anything.

I feel it might be influenced by this whole folk rock revival thing, but it's taken a different way because they're British, and they're Oasis. It's a perfect fusion of America and England, which is what made Led Zeppelin and the Stones so great. Oasis can be a little too British for my taste sometimes, and I really should go back and look into Oasis a little more before I write a good, full on review of Dig Out Your Soul...I'm just putting my initial feelings out there because I'm so excited that new music that sounds great can still be made (with real instruments!) without being part of a motherfucking revival. Yeah King Khan & the Shrines is good, but they would be greater if they didn't just get off a time machine from the 1960's...they should get off the time machine, check out the new world while knowing what they know and then make an album that combines it all together and sounds incredible. I double dog dare yah King Khan...do it just do it.

And since I'm on the topic of Brit-Rock, the new Verve album is a piano away from being Coldplay. Again, what the fuck was Kate Radley thinking? She must have really had a thing for cheekbones!!!!

Cheetah Chrome at Don Hill's 9/12

2008-09-19T12:33:00.001-07:00

For Pictures

On Friday night at Don Hill’s, Cheetah Chrome of Dead Boys fame headlined with backing band the Blackhearts. Overall I had a great time. The Don Hill’s experience is one that I am very fond of and will have to do again. Here’s how it went down.

As soon as I get there I hand two flyers to the door guy that I went out of my way to print for a discounted door price. “Ten dollars,” the door guy says, he has a good New York punk rock look with a great Dead Boys shirt.
“No it’s five dollars with the flyer, see discounted price.”
“Yeah, the regular price is 15 dollars, 10 dollars with the flyer.”
“Are you fucking serious? On the website it said ten dollars at the door, five dollars with the flyer. Why do you think I went out of my way to print this shit out ?” I grab my five, the only cash I have, and wave it. “This is all I have because the website said it was five dollars.”
“This isn’t Monty Python’s Let’s Make a Deal.”
“It was on the website, look there’s a computer,” I point, “ just look it up.” Ernie and Mimi start to laugh, so unfortunate for the door man, but he was a little quicker than me:
“I run the website, I know what it says.”
Fuck. It’s a lie, but I have nothing left to say to that. Mimi gets a twenty out and gives it to him.
“I’ll buy you drinks when we get in,” I tell her.
“I know. I know.” He checks our IDs we get wristbanded and go inside. We head to the bar and I try again to solve one of the biggest questions facing me in New York: What is a cheap beer alternative to PBR? I can’t stand PBR, to quote a friend: “It tastes like watered down beer with piss added to it.” So I’m at the bar weighing my options, Mimi being no help as she’s fine with Stella. Stella Artois, another beer I’m not the hugest fan of, so I get a fucking Miller Lite, “Miller Lite?” Mimi says.
“Yeah, why not? I like it.” I open a tab, he needs my ID, “Just take this one,” I say and hand him Jillian Meier. I watch him at the register to see his expression. He looks confused, what are the possible reasons an ID and a credit card name don’t match? One, it’s a fake. Two, it’s a stolen credit card. Three, I have an alias. I decide I feel the most comfortable with Two if he says anything, though in another circumstance I had actually developed a good back story to use with Three. Luckily I didn’t have to use it this night.

So I’m scoping out Don Hill’s, loving the old punk dudes, I can’t help but think they were someone important, and we wait for Cheetah to go on. Ernie doesn’t like it here, “I just heard someone say they already went on,”
“The bartender just said they’re about to go on,” Mimi says.
I thought it would be funny to have the gay boys come along to this bar. I didn’t endorse it, but I get a great deal of joy out of watching people in awkward situations, so in this circumstance the more the merrier.

We don’t have to wait long before the band starts. I’m immediately focused on the guitar player. He is the generic early 2000s punk rock kid, which is basically the London punk look with less flair and a Rancid t-shirt. This kid was early to mid 20s, liberty spikes, tight black jeans, converse, black nail polish on bitten fingernails and some not so bad tattoos including one on his upper arm that said NYC. I’m sure there was a chain hanging somewhere, just can’t remember exactly. His guitar was covered in stickers of recent punk bands and though his entire look was going against him, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt since he was in the Blackhearts, playing with Cheetah Chrome, and the youngest one on stage.

My personal favorite musician was the drummer. A straight up old school punk rocker with aged tattoos, spiky gray hair, cut off shirt, skin melting off his face and when he talked it was out of the side of his mouth. When he played the drums it seemed like the most tiring activity for him, like he really loved doing it but it just takes a lot more out of him than it used to. I overheard him say to the kid: “I got Alzheimer’s, I’m cold right now,” joking because he was dripping sweat and he’s an old guy. I liked it. Now let’s talk about Cheetah.

First of all, the Dead Boys were not that big a deal. They put out, what, two albums? Their lyrics are strictly surface level, but that’s the draw of them. They weren’t even from New York they were from Cleveland and were completely trashy in the worst sense. I would not have gone near any of them if it was 1977. Cheetah was a nasty redhead, the light orange kind, but will probably go down in my book as the coolest redhead in history. Now he has a beautiful baldhead and is dressed very classy. Like an old single guy that likes to dress like a cool musician dad. His shoes are great. The perfect boot for a man, I’d say. Good jeans, nice shirt. He’s got a watch on one wrist and two bracelets on the other. His guitar is a classic black Gibson. He looks very New York, as someone who recently moved here would strive to look, but has lived here long enough to make it subtle. They start out with Down In Flames and my rock and roll fantasy starts to come true. I see the set list on the floor and check it out. Looks like he’ll throw his new shit in before finishing strong with some classic Dead Boys. I promise to try and stay enthusiastic while he plays his new material.

The kid guitarist I had my suspicions about played some great simple guitar solos which made me really like him. He was sipping something out of a shot glass. Strange. My head says tequila, but who knows. I look over at Cheetah’s bottle. It’s O’douls. I find this very amusing and very cute. In my head most musicians never grow up, live fast and die young, unless you don’t die young then you just keep living fast, or taking it slow whenever really necessary. Cheetah adjusted to late 40s life rather well. His nice classy style, proudly drinking O’douls between songs, I can respect him. It made me come to this grand conclusion about the show: At least Cheetah had a good time. Yeah, the turn out wasn’t as great as expected, that’s why I got hassled about cover at the door and yeah the drummer was exhausted the whole time, sweating his heart out while banging away, but all in all I think Cheetah really enjoyed himself and that’s what this was all about. His new songs weren’t bad. I was impressed how they retained a Dead Boys-ish quality with lyrics like, “I lost your number, will I ever see you again?” or something along those lines. They are still surface level, still normal mundane problems of the human, There ain’t nothing to do, I’m getting so sick of TV, I don’t need no cookie I need lunch. Write what you know. Whenever someone does this I am appreciative. If the Dead boys tried to come out of the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio with some Richard Hell-esque lyrics, it would have been so obviously and pathetically phony. No one would have heard it, except for the people who can’t tell what’s good. But the Dead Boys stayed true, and obviously one of them is still staying true, keep keepin’ on and all that. I’m just glad no one sneezed in some bologna from off the floor and ate it. That’s not rock and roll, that’s just disgusting.

Boomp3.com

Back in Brooklyn, writing about the Beatles, but only this once.

2008-09-19T12:33:00.000-07:00

The first time I heard Helter Skelter I realized what the big deal was, but only in the context of the Beatles. I was 17, comparably later than most, but let me explain. The Velvet Underground was always first with me and to know that the Beatles were making music at the same time at the VU; that All You Need is Love was happening at the same time as Venus in Furs, well, I didn't think I was missing much. The entire world likes the Beatles so why should I? Do they really need another fan?

Well a boy met me that loved the Beatles, his name was Grant. And as I opened my heart to him I let the Beatles in simultaneously. It was just so pure, nice, friendly, unintimidating. To hate it would just be rude. And they evolved, you know and it was a pleasure listening to the Beatles grow up.

When I came to pick a favorite album it was Magical Mystery Tour because in my mind that was who the Beatles were. Sgt. Pepper's was them getting high and having a good time, the White Album was them after smoking too much and finally seeing how fucked up the world is. They had removed the rose colored glasses and as they did the world did. I'm sure it was beautiful, because it's obvious the Velvet Underground weren't getting through to the average person, not that they aimed to or anything.

So as I'm first experiencing the White Album, I'm hearing Rocky Raccoon, Back in the USSR, Obladi Oblada...I'm just waiting for Helter Skelter, I mean the song alone has a cult following. I'm with Grant, the song starts, I think the opening guitar line is great, John Lennon's contained almost-scream, sort of like a roar sounds good and then I hear it, "Helter Skelter..." and I turn to him, "This is Helter Skelter?" Wow, I thought, So this is it. I was impressed. It's a powerful song, well at least for the Beatles, and as much as I enjoyed it I really wanted more. I wanted them to take it, while taking me, to that higher level, but it hit just below that plane. I wasn't disappointed because there's tons of other songs that take me there, it was just so expected. And I kind of thought that Helter Skelter would be the song to push the Beatles over the edge, to make them epic. But I did and still do respect it for what it is: the best sounding rock and roll let down ever recorded.

I must admit the Beatles don't get much play in my world, but I do think of them often and I do enjoy watching them and reading about their almost crazy adventures. To know that they enable all the boring people in the world to step outside of their normal selves and love music completely for a good 45 minutes or so is enough to make me love them as much as the Rolling Stones...but unfortunately not as much as the Velvet Underground.

I saw IAMX in San Francisco (and got extremely lost before and after)

2008-09-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

After seeing IAMX in San Francisco at the Great American Music Hall, (a really sterile venue, by the way) I realized he must be moved into the guilty pleasures category of my music archive. It was mostly smoke and mirrors and he sang Kiss & Swallow like he hated it. I didn't realize he had such a large teenage fanbase and as I stood behind a girl I can only describe as the fat-girl-in-Weezer-shirt-at-Hot-Topic from Emogame, I felt like I was watching myself at that age going to Emo's to see Saves the Day, New Found Glory and other mindless acts.

I stayed down below for a while then decided I actually felt too old and went up to get another beer. I've never really wanted, above anything, to watch a show from above, but it was okay. Watching the crowd is mildly amusing, it made me wonder what I looked like when I was in it.

There was a screen off center to the left with images of skin, Chris Corner, and the letter X. Yes, he's a little narcissistic. Before he was even done with the first song, "Your Joy is My Low" (good choice) he was throwing himself into the crowd of 16 year olds, allowing and inviting them to grope his legs and stomach. I can get how that would be a turn on, his music is very sexual, so I let it go. Overall the screen was pointless when compared to the use of screens by the Knife or Nine Inch Nails, but like I said, smoke and mirrors.

Chris Corner was wearing a half black, half white blazer, self-constructed, and a sailor's hat. While upstairs I actually overheard a dude say, "I wish he wasn't wearing a hat. He's better without it." Something to think about...Anyway his costume was a let down compared to the keyboardist: A cute girl with brown hair in a gold and black sequined bustier with matching hat and Kabuki style makeup. She even had drawn a line under her jawbone like a trompe l'oeil mask. This could be read into and become deep, same with the two-tone jacket and the sailor's hat, but the apparent fan base just stops that train of thought from leaving the station. But honestly, that's why I like IAMX, because his songs say something, enough to have me questioning his sexuality during the whole show, and whether the kids see this or not doesn't matter because in the end, if it looks good and is fun to listen to, that's all that's necessary.

He encored with "President," the first track off the Alternative that sounded better on the album, and "After Every Party I Die," a song I want to hate because of subject matter but can't because I can relate. (Confession!) Obviously it was a fitting final song choice.

IAMX speaks to the party kid inside me that I don't want to let go of, and get teased for a lot, and if I was 16 it would be fine to embrace this persona, but since I'm not--guilty pleasure.

The view from the balcony is something I can get used to, there's shorter lines at the bar and food service. I didn't even break a sweat downstairs anyway, fucking comfortable San Francisco weather.

Boomp3.com
Boomp3.com

uptown express...downtown local

2008-09-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

Here we go...today was a wild ride...I'll give you what I have written down then finish it off with some stream of consciousness...

Today was more bad than good and I'm sure many will be happy to hear this. This morning was nice. I wore my new, very great, FREE shirt from Beacon's closet that I took from someone else's donate bag after a few beers in Williamsburg and I had an egg and cheese sandwich from a deli complete with orange juice and a bottle of water for $4.50. I ate it in Central Park with no one around before relaxing and reading on a beautiful patch of green surrounded by trees. Here is what I wrote as I laid there:

There is green all around me, under my back, between my toes, and directly above me the branches wrap around like interlocking fingers. They would shade me from the sun if it was out today. I'm thinking of moving in here, right in front of the soccer field and the benches, a block down from the playground. I could put up a sign with a dropslot and pitch a tent, or even just a sleeping bag will do. I feel like I'm in Mother Nature's womb. I am at peace and if I were to express a want at this moment it would be for someone I could share all this love in my soul with; to exercise it. I would also want a blanket, but resting with an open book on my chest will suffice. Something I truly love about New York City is how you can have commotion beside the calm and immerse yourself in one while watching the other. Perfect duality.

When I left I got lost and was okay with it, I just didn't realize it would take so much out of me. I walked about 40 blocks down 1st avenue looking for the train before Mimi tells me it's on 3rd. The redeeming thing here was that a boy asked me where the train was and I knew the answer. I caught the 4, realized it didn't stop at Nostrand right now, got off to transfer, got word the A train was down, had to get back on the 4 (I think they actually had the heat on on that train) then I get off at Franklin which required me to walk for about ten minutes too long. Getting home was great but knowing I had to get back on the subway in less than an hour for earlier made dinner plans was sort of a buzzkill though I'd been dying for a meal that wasn't handheld. I signed for Mimi's package, called a car to pick me up and met up with Vadim. Half out of it we ate some Thai food that reminded me of Austin (yellow curry tastes the same everywhere) and Vadim dropped a handful of names I'd never heard of, like always, and tonight I was too tired to ask about them all. We did have a nice, welcomed talk about Vincent Gallo though. Finishing one beer left me in a dreamlike state and after predicted chastising about calling a car home I walked with him to the G train and got on it.

Here I am post G train, enjoying a 24 of Busch and Hostess cupcakes (I deserve it) and things are looking up. I come home and have 5 emails. Two are pointless, two are from Chris, which is always good and one is telling me that someone actually wants me to live with them. Wow. This would happen after I finally tell someone that New York is kicking my ass and that I don't even like New York and the place I sleep leaves me hurting each morning. But I think I just said all that because I'm so fucking exhausted and go to sleep each night dreaming about a mattress and a blanket that will cover my feet.

So it looks like I can stand it after all and it can stand me too. New York is a place of discouragement and it won today, but, hey, I'm here sayin' Two outta three man, two outta three.

Today

2008-09-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

Today I made three bad decisions. These could have been prevented had I listened to the coin. I was doing my laundry, yes putting it in the washer, taking it out and drying it, unlike every other New Yorker, and I asked the coin, Should I:
-Go to the cafe down the street and get a cupcake and an au lait?
It said no
-Get a slice of pizza on my way home
It said no
-Go shopping at Urban Outfitters sale rack and American Apparel (shame on me)
It said no
-Go get groceries and hair dye before I go home
It said no
-Go home
It said yes

And I was like, you know what, I always listen to the coin, and it's always fucking right. Today I will actively choose to make the wrong decision. And so I did. And so I can't say I regret it, but then again my hair isn't dry yet. I dyed it, you see, and I didn't want to splurge on the $9 boxes so I got Colorspa for $6.99. It was sketchy from the beginning and as I watched a third of my already thin hair come out in the shower it just got sketchier. Now I'm avoiding drying my hair, afraid that the result will be terrible and I will deeply regret going against the coin.

The other mistake I made, a less chemical one, was I bought a shirt at American Apparel. A shirt I already own, but that I have washed so much it does not retain its original shape, so this is a replacement shirt. But, I didn't try it on, so it is not the shirt I wanted, it is the men's version of the shirt I wanted. I expected this to happen, and it's actually sort of good. Because whenever I buy things and then need to return them it's sort of like loaning money to someone, or putting money on layaway.

By the way I think my hair smells horrible. I used to always like the smell of post-dye hair, even though Grant used to say it smelled like I just dyed it, but now I'm getting flashbacks of when I was 11 or so, in Miami, and had just got my hair cut to resemble Courtney Cox from Friends...let me refresh your memory...

Pretty unflattering, huh? By the way, there's way too many Friends fan pages...Anyway, after I had just received a haircut similar to that, I hated it so much I took like 5 showers, as if that would make my hair grow back, or in case it would look a lot better wet, which it did not.

So now I'm sitting here, feeling like the popular girl from the Craft post-curse, hoping that I don't have to look into Hair Club for Men tomorrow.

The third and final bad decision was choosing to get pizza before getting on the subway. Yeah, it was good, it's pizza, yeah, it reminded me of Andy, pepperoni and black olives you know, and yeah it was huge, cos everything's bigger in Texas or whatever they say, but it made me feel dirty afterward and I could've spent that $4 on a big bottle of Busch and a candy bar, which would be satisfying my current cravings.

I really didn't plan to write on bad decisions for this long. I really wanted to talk about something that mattered. What was it again?

Also...since somehow I am subscribed to every venue's upcoming concert newsletter in America, I was alerted 10 seconds ago that I may choose to be in the same room as Vincent Gallo on September 24th when his jam band, that he refuses to call a jam band, RRIICCEE will be playing in New York. I'm a huge fan of gimmicks: the double neck guitar, lead singer deep throating a microphone, lead singer smearing peanut butter/cutting himself with glass, band dressing up in costume, but NOT the use of two drum kits at once, I do not support that. And I'd say anything Vincent Gallo puts his glowing stamp of approval on is a gimmick. It even says in the bands bio, founded by "controversial artist Vincent Gallo" and let me tell you how they dance around the term jam band: "Improvisation is not a good word for what we're doing. It's more a gesture of composing and performing at the same time, always hoping to avoid musical cliché or jamming." I will only believe this if the songs are kept to a 4:30 maximum and have a structure. Their music myspace, contains no music, and they say they do not want to go into the studio to record albums. Vincent Gallo also never liked to write scripts. So after all that, the only question is if this gimmick is worth $20 dollars in advance, $25 at the door...I guess when the day comes I'll leave it up to the coin.

"I don't do drugs. I am drugs." - Salvador Dali

2008-09-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today I had a day planned. When I woke up I decided it wasn't quite right and had an urge to go to Times Square, and so I did.

Times Square is not an inspiring place, but it is comforting. Times Square is my Barton Creek Square Mall. I spent so much of my youth there and I don't have any strong or important memories, but the overall feel of it is comforting. Let me see if I can figure out why...It may be because as much as I feel I cannot relate to the greater part of the population, at the mall I am united with all the other consumers, aptly described by the Gang of Four: "I do love a new purchase/A market for the senses." And this is what Times Square was like. I got a double 2% latte from one of the multiple Starbucks locations there and while tempted to go into Madame Tussaud's and Ripley's Believe it or Not, I decided against it because of price and the slogan on the outside, something along the lines of: Frightening families for over so-and-so years. But I did end up going into a Halloween/Costume shop later that day which was awesome and I decided then and there that I definitely would work there (I think you get to dress up every day!) But I'll wait until I get back to give it a shot. Oh yeah, I'm going to San Francisco on the 13th, have I told you yet?

I've been getting a lot of Why San Francisco? or Leaving New York already? so let me clear this up. It was always my plan to go to Portland mid-September then return to New York, it has now changed to San Francisco. I'm visiting friends and setting my head straight in an easier environment before setting up shop in New York. Or at least those are my plans, which I shouldn't even have to say, because after all we can never predict our own future.

After Times Square I went to Strand Books, then ate lunch, then went to a vintage eyeglasses shop then went to cafe and drank bitter lemonade ("The coffee isn't even bitter, but, hey, what's the difference?")

I felt great today, after sex great. I haven't even wanted sex lately, I'm too content with the other things that make me feel just as high. The last time I did cocaine I felt like I was fucking myself, now eating an egg salad sandwich, reading Hemingway, and talking about the downs and ups of love have made me feel the same. I finally made it out of the abyss. And, mind you, I didn't even have cigarettes to heighten it.

Listening to music at exactly the right moment also has this effect, but music has always been able to overstimulate me in just the right way. I think Spacemen 3 did it the other night, and today it was Fabriclive 36 - James Murphy & Pat Mahoney, which I could argue is the most perfect mixtape/album in general I've ever heard. It's necessary for everyone. I am so in love with James Murphy, luckily I already met him so I can move on with my life.

I'm excited about my new relationship with books. Books are the new music. And I don't care if this blog post went nowhere, I'll fix it later.

I wrote this last night at the bar...

2008-09-07T07:57:00.000-07:00

...I find it funny.

I have yet to find anything worthy in New York. Everyone tries far too hard to get laid. Mimi said people know about the Velvet Underground here like people know about Led Zeppelin everywhere else. I have to abandon everything I know. I must relearn everything. I met a boy that looked like Ricardo. He seemed to actually know about the Velvet Underground. Mimi made us leave to meet up with Ian, a worthless boy in flip-flops. I know he and his friend would never understand me. No one wants me to succeed and all I want is a little White Castle and they won't give me that. I should probably stop judging people but what else is there to do in situations like this. I really do believe I will not meet anyone of worth that I don't already know in New York. "There's six holes of putt-putt in the back," he said. Should I leave now or ten seconds from now? The only person I found almost interesting was a boy that looked 15 with a limp. If I had talked to him I would have asked him 2nd what had happened. First I would've asked where he's from. Actually, if I remembered I would've asked him second if he liked White Castle.

For the record, I got my White Castle and it was great.

K[no]w]

2008-09-07T07:22:00.001-07:00

I have just jumped out of a plane and am currently floating down to the ground.

"The word "parachute" comes from a French word with a Latin prefix: "para", meaning "against" or "counter" in Latin, and "chute", the French word for "fall". Therefore "parachute" actually means "against the fall."

endurance |enˈd(y)oŏrəns|
noun

the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way : she was close to the limit of her endurance.
• the capacity of something to last or to withstand wear and tear.

ORIGIN late 15th cent. (in the sense [continued existence, ability to last] ; formerly also as indurance): from Old French, from endurer ‘make hard’ (see endure ).

i hate writing

2008-09-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

I hate writing but I don't want to stop. I think I'm stuck in limbo trying to decide whether I'd like to be the next Chuck Klosterman, Lester Bangs, or Anais Nin. Tough one, huh?

To be Lester Bangs I'd have to actually be passionate about the music being created now and be good friends with the people in the hippest scene.
To be Anais, I'd have to find my Henry Miller, and start using my intelligence for good.
To be Chuck Klosterman would be far too easy. He didn't even like music that was that profound, that's why it's easy for dumb kids to name drop him. If the title Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs doesn't scream minor shock value, then I don't know what does. I find him entertaining but he's in the pile of easy reads along with Chuck Palahniuk and, currently, Wonderful Today: The Autobiography of Pattie Boyd.

A thought that has been crossing my mind is that people can settle, in any field. But when it comes to using yourself to the fullest potential, you shouldn't settle. I know I could be a decent:
- Subway sandwich artist
- Duane Reade manager
- Club DJ
- Record store employee
- Stripper
- Go-Go Dancer
- Artist/Painter
- Substitute teacher
- Art History professor
- Writer, in some field

But in which would I be using who I am and what I know to the fullest? I'm still trying to figure this out. I'm trying to remember not to settle, though it's so tempting and easy. This is where I pull out the coin and flip it to determine my future.

Friends lately have been giving me some really great advice, whether they mean to or not. It's time to grow.

I also realized that writers are the ones that care about reading. Everyone else is content with the About Me section on a person of the opposite sex's Facebook.

Today

2008-09-05T16:53:00.000-07:00

Today I slept in and didn't want to leave the apartment. I really needed to talk to people that would love me and support me. I read more of my sex addict book and it was disgusting and depressing. I decided to call Monica because I wanted to know how she would deal with all these fucked up people when she is a psychiatrist. She told me she would just be detached. I believe she could do this better than I could. Te'Devan called me, because I'm sure he felt like he needed to call me, and I suppose he was right. After he said Hello he didn't speak. I knew this was because he wanted me to speak because he knew I had something to say. I talked to him for 50 minutes and had to take everything with a grain of salt. It would be too easy if he gave me the exact advice I need. I would really like to be with him but I know it's not right.

Vadim and I planned things and we met up at 3rd & 6th avenue to go eat. He took me to Murray's Bagels. I've been eating nothing but carbs but somehow my body is pretty perfect in my eyes. I stared at myself in the mirror for two minutes examining my naked body for flaws. I've been eating a lot but I guess the walking is evening things out.

With Vadim there was lots of talking, which I really enjoyed. I really love listening because mostly I am the one to do all the talking. I think I am a good listener. Vadim had really good things to say. He made me want to be more intelligent, or rather put more of my intelligence on display in everyday situations. I wanted to challenge him and for him to challenge me.

I asked him to take me to a record store and he gave me the rundown on three good ones that he likes. I forgot the name of where we went but it was great. We talked about music in a way that was something special.
"Who needs this much Slade?"
"True, but I actually like Slade, but I guess one album is enough."
"I wanted the Undertones."
"You only need one song by the Undertones, it was John Peel's favorite."
"Oh yeah, Teenage...what is it?"
"Teenage Kicks."
"Yeah, that's it. Well I'd like more that just one song."

He helped me find the Dirtbombs rather quickly. He made fun of me for liking rock and roll so much. I can't remember his exact words but it had something to do with it being really childish, which is very true. It was funny to me, especially since the whole day he was talking about how his music taste is that of a 38 year old dad. He made me feel like I need to grow up, I actually thought about what kind of music I could listen to to grow up. I'm pretty sure I already listen to it, just when I'm in the mood.

He took me to Mimi's store a little before 5 and it looked too swanky so I asked him if he wanted to hang out a bit longer, get a beer. He agreed and took me to Half Pint. He got the $9 beer with the elephant on it. I got a Blue Moon and ate the orange slice. I decided I really appreciate Vadim. He is one of the most original people I've ever met.

Ironically, he told me about a party/benefit his friend's roommate was having and when I met up with Mimi she told me there's a party tonight. One of Stevo's theater friends is having a benefit...I decided not to tell Vadim, it'd be a surprise.

Something strange I had always been sort of confused about was how Pitchfork reviews pop music and rap music like Britney Spears and Slim Thug. And they are actually pretty honest, I think they actually choose not to bash it for the sake of being ironic. Vadim had this quality. He must have subconsciously picked it up from reading Pitchfork every day as he confessed to me earlier. I started to tell him this, but he said he didn't understand. I told him I'd have to think about it more in order to articulate it better. He talked a lot about his love for rap music like Kanye West, Mobb Deep, Three Six Mafia, or something like that. I took it in, while thinking it was kind of funny and interesting. I respected him and I do respect him, a lot. He does a lot of great things. I think he has my dream life, but a little skewed.

I asked him if he reads my blog and he said Yes. It felt good to hear that. I said, "Well if you read my blog then, well, what do you think of it?"
"It's a little LJ."

I totally understood and I am so glad he shared that with me. But again, I'm not sure if I want to grow up yet...

I bought a pair of black, leather, high-top Adidas and I cut Mimi's hair.

Yowza, yowza, yowza.

why today was awesome...

2008-09-04T22:43:00.000-07:00

here's what happened today....

um...first i woke up, went with Mimi into town at about 10Am, went to MoMA and it was sweet.

I showed my student ID to the guy that sold me the ticket to MoMA. He said that was the college he went to. I was like, "No shit," and he said yeah. He asked me what I studied and I said English. He studied theater. And with no smile on his face, completely sincere, he remarked: "I wish I was in Austin right now." Which made me think, Why the fuck am I in New York then?

Okay, so check it out. I saw this movie at the museum, for technically free, it was They Shoot Horses, Don't They? I saw it because it inspired Alexander Mcqueen back in 2005. It was incredible. I loved it completely. Here's the story on that:

I was sent an old Jewish man to sit next to me in the theater. It was nice to socialize beforehand, well more like amusing, but he later ruined every pivotal moment in the film for me. So as the others wept beside me as Robert helped Gloria shoot herself in the head, I felt nothing. The man had broken my concentration by saying, "Ewwwwww" as she pointed the gun at her face, "Is she going to kill herself?" He mumbled. And when it was all over he turned to me,
"That was good!"
"Yeah, it was great."
"Depressing..." he said.
"Realistic," I replied.
And then he said, "Bye!" as we get into the aisle from our seats. It was rather sweet. "Bye," I said back.

Then, I met up with Mimi, went home, checked my email, realized I had won tickets to see Spindrift at the Cake Shop and asked Mimi if she wanted to go. She was awesome and said Yeah. We ate some Amy's Pesto Pizza, drank some wine, smoked a joint and headed for the subway. When we get there it said that Ringo Deathstarr was playing. I was like, "Ringo Deathstarr is playing?!!!" and they were like, "No. Spindrift is." And I was like, "No, I mean later." Cos I fucking hate Ringo Deathstarr for a number of reasons...here...
a) they suck, I would've liked them if they were actually a respectable Jesus & Mary Chain ripoff, but their show sucks
b) I hate the girl in the band, Alex, who somewhat looks like me, but I'm not a ginger so I win, worked at Factory People after me, but still had Le calling me asking to work parties I couldn't work cos I was fired and shit like that. Fuck that bitch. She can't play the bass worth a shit and she doesn't have good enough style/isn't cute enough to carry the band.

Okay, so I'm at the show. We are watching Spindrift drinking $3 Rolling Rock, which I totally respect and am thankful for, and everything's going great. I see the lead singer of A Place To Bury Strangers and talk to him after Spindrift's set. This is how it went down:

"Hey, you're in A Place to Bury Strangers right?"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Everyone's probably been telling you that all night, right?"
"No, no they haven't"
"Oh, well I recognized you cos of your Sauconys," to which we are both like Hell yeah about. "So where do you live?"
"Williamsburg"
"Oh, how do you like it?"
"Well, I live in a warehouse with like 10 other people, so that's crazy, but otherwise I hate what the area has become."
"Yeah I totally understand."
"What's your name?
"Alex, what's yours?"
"Oliver" We shake hands.
"Oh yeah, you make like pedals and shit."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Okay, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette now."

That was pretty great. I really enjoyed it. Being in New York is pretty awesome cos shit like that happens.

Also, I met a guy today, through Mimi, that is good friends with Cheetah Chrome and Richard Hell so, um, that was pretty amazing. He has a cute shop in St. Marks.

I got to see how beautiful the skyline was going over the Brooklyn Bridge and as for right now I really love New York. I can totally take over this shit. I just need some time to catch up in the style department.

And if you wear fake glasses you are unfuckable. I hate you. Kill all with fake glasses.

Love you,
Alex

today

2008-09-03T13:54:00.001-07:00

Today I went into town with Mimi as she went to work. I walked about a thousand miles and saw a lot and nothing at all. I wrote this at Hudson River Pier:

I am disappointed to find that everywhere is the same. It's just a different atmosphere. I thought there would be something more here, something other than abundance.

I need to find the things I find beautiful, the people I find beautiful.

Here it is comforting to know I can find something familiar in an unfamiliar place.

I found solitude at the end of the world. Where the city isn't dominate, the undulations, the ocean, the sea, the salt is. I can actually sit here comfortably and look at the city; my back to the waves. I feel the water behind me giving me a feeling of power, like it's on my side and we are opposing the city, the buildings, the thousands of cafes and shops and drugstore and pretty faces.

If this were Austin I would be alone, but this is New York so there are 5 others. These I won't judge, because we are all here for the same reason. I don't resent their presence as I would in similar circumstances. I'm glad they are here, because when I was truly alone for that two minutes it made it even better.
--------------------------------------
I was told to follow the river and so I did and when I saw a place that extended out into the sea occupied by only one person sitting on a bench (who left soon after I came) I had to go to the end of it and sit on the edge. I took my shoes off and let my feet dangle above the water. There was a great, cool breeze coming off of it. There were boats and heavy machinery all around. I was looking at the buildings across from me not knowing where that was. I was content not knowing.

Being in New York kills my fantasies. Or maybe I should just begin to replace them with greater ones. I really love thinking there are those elite that are untouchable, so above you that they are unreal, whether they be good or bad. But here everyone is on the same level, walking around, doing what they need to do. You can go everywhere and do everything. I saw Adriana Lima get out of a Lincoln Town Car, ask the driver something and walk into a building. In New York I can be in my own movie. In Washington Square Park I sat under a tree staring at a decades old building in front of me and felt nothing. Somehow the history is lost and replaced with the new, the common. But nothing is really new, it's just more, fresh.

I'm not sure if I have love for this city yet and I haven't eaten any protein today.

On the subway back to Crown Heights, some boys started breakdancing, one guy had a boombox, one guy was clapping to the beat. They were all right, even a little better considering the thing was moving and they would balance their entire bodies on one hand and flip and spin and shit without fucking up. This was probably my favorite moment so far.

I really like the subway and walking and I think I'd like to take the bus.

Also, Mimi shared with me today that her grandparents used to drive from San Antonio to Las Vegas every weekend when they were in their 80s. Her grandma was in a car accident were she was thrown from the vehicle and only broke her arm. I told her she had to write a story about this.

so

2008-09-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

i had planned this entry for like a week. it involved some sort of short, clever goodbye note with a combined hello...and this morning i really wanted to take a picture of me taking a bite out of an apple, but i had too much shit to do. so here is the real deal...

-there's a FURNACE in the BASEMENT to burn babies and "gays and Jews" in
-i keep being reminded of this thing Brad told me after he went to Chicago about how him and his friends were walking through the ghetto and people kept calling them the Brady Bunch

um...people. i'm in New York, going to stay as long as I possibly can. miss me or don't, I don't give a shit...

Also, Mimi read my tarot and it was, if I can even say so so early, incredible accurate. It involved growth from child to 35 year old man, oppression, but with abundance and contentment in the end.

And right now Ernie is baking a fancy banana cake and I am drinking a 40 of Busch.

By the way, the floor tile in the kitchen is inspirational.

blah

2008-08-31T18:28:00.000-07:00

i'm dead

later!

oh, by the way, the dead need weed. so hook a zombie up, will you?

today

2008-08-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

today i've been big into Buffalo '66 and the first Modern Lovers album. both two old favorites that i'm re-experiencing and getting a lot out of. i hope to find someone soon that shares these two interests with me.

Jonathan Richman is really awesome. I always knew this, but today he is especially great. Why? You really wanna know why? Okay fine, i'll tell you but you better care. It's because he's a kid from the suburbs that moved to the big city. And he sings about it. Yeah, so that's why. Sorry for being so obvious, shit.

And Vincent Gallo is beautiful, there's no way around it. Trust me, i've tried to find something to negate it, but there's nothing. So here he is, because, well, Jonathan Richman is no competition. And for the record, I think Vincent Gallo has the best man style ever, and I don't think anyone will ever compare. That's it.

wow

2008-08-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

I just found my cd case from high school, something I had written off as lost and never to be found many many years ago. Let me give you a quick run down of the nuggets in this little Case Logic:

- An old Led Zeppelin mix cd, my personal favorites
- The Rapture - Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks
- Peaches, stolen from Kendall
- Disc 1 & 3 from my original copy of Peel Slowly & See, something I had to rebuy THREE TIMES and have lost THREE TIMES
- "Good CD" dated 8/2/02, contents soon to be revisited
- "crazy ass random" CD from Luke Carroll
- burned copy of RJD2 - Dead Ringer from Noah...that cd brings back a very important summer with lots of boy/girl/girl/boy make out sessions and parties on top of a parking garage
- Numbers - In My Mind All the Time
- Singapore Sling - The Curse of Singapore Sling...SO GOOD...currently on my list of things to rebuy, well until now
- Dj Qbert - Wave Twisters
- Something called "Blues Mix"
- "Alexx's Ghetto Thang!" a cd filled with solid Houston rap from the fucking 7th or 8th grade made for me by Kelly Huffington
- The Gloria Record - homemade best of
- To go along with all the other emo music in here: Pedro the Lion, the Microphones, Kind of Like Spitting
- The Small Faces - Ogden's Nut Gone Flake...given to me by Eric Wilson, recorded from a record so the quality is shite
- Bright Eyes - Fevers and Mirrors...also extremely important...I listened to that every single day in IPC Freshman year of HS, doodling and writing down the lyrics in the back of my notebook
- Radio 4 - Gotham, some all right disco punk
- Jens Lekman - When I Said I Wanted To Be Your Dog...strange canadian, strange album with one track I was more than obsessed with at the time, yes it involved a string section...

and to round it out...
- The Cure - Greatest Hits...a teenage staple
- The Cardigans - First Band On the Moon...why do I own this???

and most importantly...
- Disc 2 of two cds that Jacob, the Vincent Gallo-esque, slow talking, boy at Metro I was in love with when I was 17 burned me. I remember being in my room at my parents house with Danny Phantom/some other cartoon muted, listening to the two cds he gave me over and over and over. I learned about Figurine from him. I gave him a ride home from a bus stop once and he complimented my sunglasses but I always thought it wasn't sincere because they were cheap designer knock offs from Strut...I can't help but wonder, well, you know...

catherine & co

2008-08-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

so last night i was willingly dragged to Weird Wednesday under the promise of seeing some French lesbians, but that turned out to be a total lie (sort of bummer) but instead I got to see Jane Birkin looking pretty incredible for close to 2 hours which was fabulous. so fabulous that I was inspired to create a Jane Birkin-ish outfit as you will see here:

And if you're gonna do it right, you gotta have your shit rolled up. Just once though, don't push it...

And here's the movie poster, which actually does say a lot about the movie since Jane Birkin's ass gets like more than four close up shots through out the "film."

and for the record, this movie didn't even suck. it was just pretty French...

memo

2008-08-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

i'm bringing back shell tops

so dust your shit off from the back of your closet

catechism

2008-08-27T14:26:00.001-07:00

is the only way for a woman to succeed by sharing her secrets with man? since a man knows the woman has the power the only way for her to level up to him is to tell him the reason to her mystery. a woman must embrace being a female and never try to gain equal rights to a man.

is being the lover of the powerful, talented man the highest a woman can climb? does that equal the man's success?

this is only if a woman doesn't succumb, doesn't succeed purely through beauty and femininity alone, but still with that it is only okay to make that woman famous because she can't think. she may be beautiful but the world knows she is a puppet. the model for women: be beautiful, dress nice, don't think.

i've been wanting to do this for a while

2008-08-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

it's amazing what you can get done in free time. so, children...

What do these songs have in common?

Boomp3.com

Boomp3.com

Boomp3.com

If you know then you are officially as cool as all these motherfuckers.