So Marjienalized

Dropping Dead: it must be June.

2009-06-28T20:27:00.006-07:00

Once again, the summer curse prevails--almost as if people chose this time to die.

My sister is self-teaching the dance step to "Beat it" through the all weekend long video run of Michael Jackson on VH1 classic. Less than four days ago, the king of pop was pronounced dead on CNN, and now there is nothing more worth watching on TV than his past. Closely watching in fascination of what this man was, I couldn't help but be reminded of the date of his death: June 25th, 2009.
June 25th. June 25th.
June. June. June.
All too familiar.

In the years that had gone by, I can name a few (even four more from this year to be precise) of the ones who made this month worth checking the calendars for. Grandpa nine years ago, grandma eight years ago, step grandpa seven years ago, my friend James in 2007, and the alignment of celebrities for this year including the king of pop: kill Bill, the Star Search guy, one of the beloved Charlie's angels, and most recently, the Oxiclean dude who "kaboom"ed his way to fame. All had dropped dead in the face of the earth in the month of June. What is it about this month that makes people have to celebrate summer differently? Is there such trend to what has happened? If so, it doesn't matter. I have yet to really make any sense of the cursed summers that had gone in the past.

Maybe I wasn't supposed to.
If it had been written in someone's fate, it's unavoidable.

Rest in peace.

Like How I Remember

2009-06-03T01:49:00.034-07:00

Click, the mouse said. You appeared.
You look better than I imagined.

I've pictured your face more than once with that boyish smile you use to wear--shy, sensitive, a total coy--and those eyes you had with the sincerity a girl like me normally sees.
Blue, am I right?
Like two drops of crystal water out of the ocean?
Kind eyes, I thought, too kind to say you didn't bear any scars. The girls back then must have broken your heart too much. I'm not one to judge, of course, but nothing is sincerely mellow in a pleasing face for no reason.

Someday, I thought then, you'd shed all the modesty away. The adult version of you will stand as a man built to tackle the world and ready to love and leave.
Built to question.
Built to judged.
Built to have regrets.
Built to build regrets.
Built to break hearts.

How had things been between then and now?
I was never there to see it.
I must say though, by your current feature, time had chosen to physically treat you well.

Sorry, I was just trying to recall how you were back when I knew you.
I wish, with my fingers crossed so tight, you're still exactly like how I remember.

Paying It Forward.

2009-05-18T18:30:00.005-07:00

Because people have been generous in spite of my ins and outs of blogging mood, I owe it to them to pass the gifts forward to other bloggers that I admire. Gem and Shyn have the same faith in me no matter how little I blog in a month span, so to you my dears, a huge love and thanks for the awards. Sorry...I know....it's long overdue.

~~~o~o~o~~~

Honest Scraps Award
from Shyn

"The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or two. Firstly, you have to tell your readers ten things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly, you have to tag 10 people with the award."

I'm about to bend the rules because after writing a hundred, nine sets of seven, and five sets of four about me, I just have to surrender. Besides, skipping ten things is forgivable when even the alphabets were once involved, so no need for any more repetitions. Sometimes, I must admit, it gets tiring.

**Congratulations: Kris, and the OMYWord queen.
For this one, I'm thinking of you.

~~~o~o~o~~~

The Awe-Sum Award
from Gemz.

Rules:
List 7 things that make you Awe-Summm and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love.Make sure to tag your recipients and let them know they have won!
Also link back to the Queen that tagged you.

I don't know if I can list seven things about being an Awe-Summ blogger considering I've had my fair-share of blogging hiatus and have constantly moved back and forth from blogger to wordpress. I just know that blogging allows me to connect with people and with myself, and if that makes me Awe-Summm then so be it!

**Congratulations: Claire, Shyn, Elle, Clarise, Dazzle, and Gemz (right back at you. Don't worry, you don't have to do it over..lol).
In my heart, you all deserve this crown!

Happy Blogging!

Diary Entry: lazy Saturday.

2009-04-25T04:20:00.009-07:00

I woke up today and decided to be lazy. It probably has something to do with the outside breeze and how lovely it is to just sit and lounge in my front porch, but instead I'm cooped up in my room with the PC and realized I've missed 3 weeks of blogging. I'm sorry. Everybody gets lazy every once in a while.

*****

In the past weeks I've been burying myself in Lisa See's novel called "Snow Flower and The Secret fan". I wasn't sure what she meant about foot binding and concubines in China back in 1820s, but it turns out that when you google the terms, one is more painful to read about than the other. How can women endure such a painful practice just to have a good bed business with a man who is almost a stranger to her? To fill those shoes? Horrible.

Ow...and foot binding seems like it hurts as well.

*****

I went to two very diverse festivals last Sunday--American Asian Festival and (Gay) Pride 2009--and both were very very interesting. I understand why people would "aaaah" at my mentioning the Asian one and "what?!" on the the Pride, but who says I can't have fun as a straight girl in a gay festival when there's free tiaras, a tall glass of beer, and fifty friendly people (not counting the friends I went with) involved? Hopefully the mood has changed by the time you read this part because the 2009 Miss USA Pageant does irk me that I have to make a quick statement:

The power of marriage--regardless of the gender, age, or race of the couple--relies on how committed they are to each other and how they make it work for the rest of their lives. Gay people getting married isn't the problem in terms of devaluing the true meaning of marriage. It's the situation that puts couples into giving up on each other that does.
That...Ms. California....is called divorce.
If you're so concerned about the marriage values, then make sure you never have to hire a divorce lawyer in the future.

I rest my case.

*****

Who here 1-866-IDOLS-dials Adam Lambert and totally disagrees with the judges call on saving Matt Giraud?

We are sooo on the same page.
Yes. We. Are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filipino Word of the day: tamad [tah-mud]
English Translation: lazy

100 Truths About Me.

2009-04-02T01:05:00.030-07:00

The lovely Elle has tagged me with this cute questionnaire and I obviously didn't have the tiniest urge to resist. So cheers to you girlie for giving me the idea for my first post of the month. I'm very happy to participate =)

001. Name → Marjie
002. Nickname(s)→ Marjie, MJ, Marj, Maj
004. Zodiac sign → Sagittarius
005. Male or female → 100% lady.
006. Elementary → St. Paul College (Paranaque, Philippines)
007. Middle School → I skipped it since I was already 14 when we moved here in the U.S. and they decided to put me in 9th grade right away.
008. High School → Independence High (CA.) and Chandler High School (AZ.)
009. College School → Chandler-Gilbert Community College, AZ.
009b. University → Arizona State University (ASU)...go sun devils!
010. Hair color → Dark brown like the exact color of my eyes. Somehow, they match quite well =) .
011. Long or short → Long during the winter, and short during summer (something only girls get the logic of)
012. Loud or Quiet → Loud. I view "quietness" as being timid, and I could never be that person.
013. Jumpers or Jeans → Jeans. Always.
014. Phone or Camera → Phone. I'm not the best photographer in the world, but I am good with conversations =).
015. Health freak → a bit.
016. Drink or Smoke? → smoke, no. drink, occasionally.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Yes. Funny guy Sergio Cilli for his wit and personality, and the rest of the the male hosts of Infomania on Current TV (that's right, I keep myself well informed).

018. Eat or Drink → Three times a day. Sometimes more if I'm bored, lonely, heartbroken, or low on self esteem.
019. Piercings → Three....one in my right ear, and two in my left ear.
020. Tattoos → None. I was never into them.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → When I was a baby. In Manila, a girl gets her ears pierced in the hospital to distinguish her gender when she's born (true story).
024. First best friend → A former neighbor named Elsie. I wonder what she's doing now.
025. First award → Most Positive Attitude, freshmen year, for dance. I still have the trophy to prove it.
026. First crush → At age 5, A guy named JR . Again, I wonder what he's doing now.
027. First pet → Blutoos, my puppy when I was a child.
028. First big vacation → Vegas and San Francisco holiday of 2004. Nothing beats the family reunion.
030. First big birthday → My very first birthday in 1984. I don't really remember how it went, but I saw the pictures and it looks like I missed out on a lot. I mean just look at all those presents I don't remember getting.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → Nothing
050. Drinking → Nothing
052. I'm about to → Answer the 53rd question
053. Listening to → XM radio currently playing the acoustic version of "Sunny Came Home" by the Shawn Colvin
054. Plans for today → I'd like to battle insomnia first. Then I'd tackle the rest of the day when I wake up.
055. Waiting for → Morning.

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → Yes. In spite of my love for independence, I DO want to be a mother someday.
059. Want to get married? → Yes. I'd like to grow old with someone as well.
060. Careers in mind → A chef and a restaurant owner. Absolutely far from being a doctor like I used to want. I know. But things changed when I became the O.R. patient.

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?
**Since this is based on Sergio Cilli, my answers will be very limited. I've never met the guy in person
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes, since he comes with mustache and beard. But he did go clean-shaved two weeks ago, and the lips are not that bad either.
070. Shorter or taller - On TV he's tiny and two dimensional. But with the awareness of how short I am in real life, in person I assume he's taller than me (and hopefully three dimensional).
072. Romantic or spontaneous → I wouldn't know.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Adorable smile.
074. Sensitive or loud→ Funny.
075. Hook-up or relationship → Again, I wouldn't know.
076. Trouble maker or hesitant → He's probably neither. I have this impression of him as a calm guy that has a few charming tricks up his sleeves (man....I gotta fly to L.A. to see one of his shows).

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Surprisingly neither. Since I'm almost blind without them, I can't afford not to know where they are when I need them.
081. Ran away from home → Never.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → A knife, to scare my most annoying nanny when I was a kid. But it didn't work. I think I got scared of it more than she did.
083. Killed somebody → Maybe a few bugs in my house, and the biggest thing I killed was a flying roach. Does anyone know a good place to hide from the authorities?
084. Broke someone's heart → I think so, back in high school. Although I'm not so sure.
085. Been arrested → Never. But I have been stopped for Jay walking. I got out of it somehow.
087. Cried when someone died → Always.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → Sometimes.
090. Miracles → It depends on what it is. Sometimes they're just coincidences.
091. Love at first sight → No. I believe love needs time to grow. Otherwise, it's lust we're talking about.
092. Heaven → Yes
093. Santa Clause → I used to, until my parents decided to blow their cover when I was 11. I think they got tired of buying those presents since I always end up wanting something else the next year.
094. Tooth Fairy → Never. Anyone who wants my loose teeth won't pay money for them. Trust me!
095. Kiss on the first date → Yes, because I believe in the power of kiss in general when it's done at the right moment. Whether or not it happens on the first date, it's always a waste of time to deny yourself something like it.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → When you're single, there always is.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → Not always, but I do believe the best is yet to come.
099. Do you believe in God → Yes
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 20 people → I won't reach 20, but to my 5 girls Gemz, Claire, Shyn, Clarise, and Dazzle, this one is for you.

--------------

Happy Tagging!

Diary Entry: current addictions.

2009-03-30T13:25:00.032-07:00

You know you're addicted to something when you even bother to scan its empty wrapper.

Those poor Kroger fruit snacks packages were ripped bad that the least I could do is to pay tribute to them. You can tell by how gluttonous I'd become by the time I got to cherry flavored ones. They stick to my teeth, but man, I couldn't get enough at all.

I bought three boxes of them this weekend.

*****

I don't know how the movie is (I haven't seen it), but I'm currently reading the book and it's turning me into a chocoholic. Joanne Harris' Chocolat sure keeps my mouth watering when she describes Vianne's chocolate shop with sweet chocolate drinks and luscious pralines. Even the villain in the story talks about his cravings towards the treats when he describes the sweet smell he whiffs from the shop every time he walks through it. So how did I help myself--the audience--from the temptation?

I didn't.
The can of chocolate malt in my kitchen is now down to three more scoops before it's completely empty.

*****

Smith and Kerns is called "Chocolate Marjie" at The Doors--a local bar in the city of Tempe, which is about 10 minutes drive away from where I live.

When I asked the bartender if they knew what it is to mix Kahlua, half and half, and coke, they were dumbfounded. No one taught them about this drink until I--a short Filipino girl who seldom drinks a beer--showed up with my friends one Wednesday night for karaoke and asked about it. I scored myself a free drink that night, which name no one remembers unless I write it down for them.
That's how they decided to name the drink after me.

"One more round of Chocolate Marjie please!"
Pretty cool eh?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filipino word of the day: hinahanap-hanap [hee-nah-hah-nup-hah-nup]
English Translation: keep looking/craving/wanting for someting (as in addiction)

Diary Entry: out for lunch

2009-03-25T17:33:00.052-07:00

I supposed I should learn to take a picture of my food before I decide to attack it, but when I went to Urban Tea Loft today for lunch--a local downtown restaurant in my city--I forgot out of excitement and hunger that my phone can actually take decent snapshots. By the time I remembered the function of having a camera phone at hand, I was halfway into my meal and was only able to capture half of it after I've already devoured the other half.

I know, so sorry it doesn't look as good as it taste at this angle. But I promise, it's much more appealing to look at when they presented it to me in full plate.

*****

Here's a good shot of the restaurant from where I was sitting inside.

And here's a picture, taken from a website, of the place downtown at night from the outside.

It's not much, but I must say it's a better shot than a half eaten sandwich.

*****

I pranced my short legs today for healthy field trip, so I'm happy to say that the boring weekend with lozenges and thera-flu sippers (bleh!) are long gone and I'm 100% better now. Thanks for the kindest words to all who wished me well.

I guess no one is getting rid of me that easy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filipino word of the day: tanghalian [tung-ha-lee-uhn]
English translation: lunch time

Here's to my Weekend.

2009-03-21T18:07:00.020-07:00

"Cough! Cough!"

I think I caught why my sister had last week, except she was a lot more graceful about it that I am. Since I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately, my ideal best friends these days are Halls cough drops, a Tylenol bottle, and a box of Lozenges that had been hiding in the medicine cabinet for months and are finally being let out. I have a feeling we'll be partying together for the next few days. There goes my agenda for the weekend.

Actually, I take that back. I also have a case of unpeeled oranges in my kitchen and some broth for me to heat so I probably have more reason to get out of my bedroom than I thought. This sore throat has not been kind to me to make my Saturday feel like staying in bed all day, but at least I have medicine cabinet and the kitchen to get close to.

Hopefully the next weekend will be better than this.
Please, wish me well.

Diary Entry: St. Patrick and a $5 mai-tai

2009-03-17T16:27:00.024-07:00

I saw Nosferatu (release 1922) two nights ago when it was on cable and all I could remember is a freaky looking Dracula lurking after the freaky looking beautiful girl, and that in the end the girl dies (sorry for the spoiler). I don't know what lured me into watching it since silent films freak me out, but I was certainly intrigued. For a horror movie with characters that don't speak (which ultimately makes every silent film a bit freaky to me), they certainly showed what little technology they have to bother with the special effects. Freaky Dracula didn't even have a dramatic death. Instead, he just disappeared and a little smoke came out. That almost said "poof!".

When the film require you to read two sentences of the script every five scenes, it doesn't get any scarier than the makeup, the background music, and the silent facial expressions.

Go classic movies!

*****

Monday nights in a bar is not exactly the best day to go if you're looking to be social. It's not necessarily less drinking, but definitely less people. Since I've dodged tons of invitations from my 20-something friends to go out drinking, I finally decided to go when one of them was celebrating for getting his old job back. I ended up spending $5 on a mai-tai while I sit and lounge in one of their sofa. Fun, but I could also do that at home.
For free.

*****

My Internet was down last night when I got home. I didn't get to do a flick-a-day!

*****

Lastly...HAPPY St. Patrick's day!
Stay sober enough to be safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filipino word of the Day: inuman [i-noo-mahn]
English translation: drinking time; happy hour

What I Look Today

2009-03-12T17:43:00.008-07:00

No, I'm certainly not obsessed with myself....
....but ever since I've had my heart surgery two months ago, weight is definitely something I have to keep track of every now and then. I look in the mirror everyday wondering if I had gained weight or lost some, although I was pretty sure I was skinnier three summers ago and thicker last summer than what I am now. Image definitely say more than anything, so forgive me for being paranoid, but sometimes I don't trust the scales.

Anyway, I found this website called flickaday some moths ago and it's basically used to take one picture of yourself for everyday of your life. It's a good tool to play with if you want a trip down to your younger days and wonder how much you've changed. Or, in my case, tracking down my weight. Or maybe someday, to solve the case of when the magic crow's feet appeared in the corners of my eyes. Either way it's something I can use.

Besides, my webcam is rusting in a drawer somewhere. It's time to put it to work again.

Here's my "flick" for today. And maybe the next day, and the day after the next day, and maybe the day after the day after the next day.....

They'll pile up soon.

Lucky Seven

2009-03-06T16:05:00.030-07:00

My blogging buddy Claire has tagged me weeks ago and I've promised her that I will have it posted as soon as possible. Since it's long been overdue from when I made that promise, there's no better day to fulfill it than today--a boring Friday of nothing else but with a laptop and some music. So here's what I owe my darling friend--a great tag of seven things.....

Seven Things That Scare Me:
1) A broken heart
2) Strange men without a car in a gas station at 2 in the morning (what do they do there?)
3) Sparks on my electric range when I turn it on
4) Toaster popping at the same exact time that I was reaching for my coffee mug in the cupboard that is above the counter right where the toaster is.
5) Burnt party foods when there's nothing else to serve and no other time for a plan B
6) Strange vermin in the house--rats mostly
7) Losing a love one by death or any kind of default.

Seven Things I Like The Most
1) Great TV shows
2) Good conversations
3) Weekends
4) Coupons of any percent savings
5) Cream on a coffee or a hot chocolate
6) Good pop music
7) Great novels

Seven Random Facts About Me
1) If you can't make me laugh, then you are hopeless because I'd laugh at almost anything.
2) I can spend 6 hours in a day cooking, 4 hours reading a novel, 2 hours listening to music, 8 hours sleeping, and 4 hours wondering what to do with it. That's my typical weekend.
3) I have very short eye lashes that never curls even with all the mascara and eyelash curlers in the world.
4) Europe fascinates me.
5) People fascinates me.
6) A butter-dish fascinates me.
7) I'm easily fascinated.

Seven Important Things In My Bedroom
1) My bed
2) My laptop
3) Seven novels in my bookshelves (I should've just named them to complete this list)
4) With that note, my bookshelf!
5) An organized folder of all my medical records
6) CDs and every form of media players
7) My closet and everything in it.

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
1) Take a stolen picture of the Sistine chapel (cameras are not allowed there, I'm told)
2) Snorkel in the Great Barrier reef
3) Visit my grandparents' graves in Canada
4) Eat sushi in Japan
5) Write a book
6) Get a kiss in the rain
7) Be able to say "I'm in love with you" to someone without hesitations

Seven Things I Can Do
1) Blog....hah!
2) Befriend an oven, or fall in love with a kitchen
3) Roll with "the boys"
4) Translate Filipino to English...or vice versa
5) Sign (language) the alphabet
6) Recite the alphabet backwards in less than 5 seconds
7) Roll my Rs ("rrrrrrrr")

Seven Things I Can’t Do
1) Built a high alcohol tolerance
2) Finish a cigarette
3) Reach high notes when singing
4) Leave my emails un-checked
5) Leave my cellphone at home when I go out
6) Find the right pair of pants (never short enough. Never.)
7) Ditch the lotion completely

Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
Their......
1) ...intelligence
2) ...passion for life and people around them
3) ...respect for women, friends, family members, and even strangers
4) ...goals (if he doesn't know what he wants to do in life, chances are he won't know what to do in a relationship)
5) ...dedication in everything they do
6) ...discipline (bar fights are totally un-sexy)
7) ...good sense of humor

Seven Things I Say The Most
1) "Hey!" (natural greeting!)
2) "Okay."
3) "I guess"
4) "Son of a _____ [fill the blank]!" out of frustration
5) "What are you doing there?" to my pets
6) "I already gave you food!" to my cat, who never leaves me alone
7) "F@$%!" Again, out of frustration.

That's nine sevens of me in a nut shell!

--------------

Bill, I'm returning a favor.
(a.k.a. thanks for the tag last time!)

Diary Entry: It never looks like the freakin' picture.

2009-02-28T14:51:00.045-07:00

A friend of mine gave me The Golden Book of Chocolate for my 25th birthday two months ago, and I've been flipping its pages trying to decide which one of these goodness I should duplicate in my own kitchen. Last night, in the mist of insomnia and boredom, I finally decided on the contender. Half of the ingredients in my cupboard was just sitting there useless and seldom touched, so when page 106 listed most of them, I knew it was the perfect thing to create.

My kitchen and I were bonding for a long night.

Here's how perfect page 106 looks like:

And here's my version while I was making a batch of it:

[zoom it with a click]

Six ziplock bags, three hours, and 8oz. of chocolates after, I finally got the finish product:

[zoom it with a click]

That's as close as I can make it look like the picture in the book.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filipino phrase of the day: litrato sa libro
English translation: picture in the book

Something Priceless

2009-02-26T01:00:00.003-07:00

I received a lemonade stand award from Dazzle, the author of a blog I've been admiring for years because not only does she share my passion for writing, she also shares my constant need to take a break from it (I feel yah chicka!). Lots of things had happened here--mostly the ups and downs of moving blogs that fell apart afterwards--but it's things like these that are the reason why I couldn't entirely abandon blogging.

So thanks so much for this gorgeous piece. It's worth being here for.

Here are the rules:
1. put the logo on your blog or post
2. nominate at least 10 blogs, which show great attitude and/or gratitude!
3. be sure to link to your nominees within your post and let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog
4. share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.
5. How did you get a great attitude and gratitude

--------------

And now for my nominees:
Graham, Claire, Clarise, Kris, Bill, Elle, Gemmerz, Lanz, and a couple of those who I think should've never stopped blogging, Matt, and Aaron.

Congratulations!
I'm quite a big fan.

Bleh...

2009-02-23T23:48:00.035-07:00

This back and forth moving thing must've been annoying you.

I know. It annoys me too.
But I guess Wordpress didn't work out as brilliantly as I thought it would.

Although people have congratulated me for the site while it was up, I paid the price of having it hosted for free by getting shut down after two weeks (hah! it was all too good to be true) of running. Obviously, there was no place left for me to go but back to where I was. Luckily, I still have my place in the blog world, so there's no reason to feel bad just yet (if you do).

Anyway, I know people will be confused, wondering, and asking, and I apologize dearly for trailing you around in the whole process. I promise that would be the last move I'll ever make, so please be kind in your comments.

BTW...on the upside...I got a new layout (*yay*). And also, for those who were worried about blogrolls, don't worry. I've kept you all along!

Tagging A to Z.

2009-01-27T12:29:00.003-07:00

Bill hit me with my first meme of 2009--Fresh start for a fresh year.

Here's the ABC of everything about me:

A. Attached or single?
Single (*sigh*)

B. Best friend?
My sister Janie, and my bff since high school, Tiffie.

C. Cake or pie?
Pie

D. Day of choice?
Friday (Thank God)

E. Essential item?
I never go anywhere without my chapstick =)

F. Favorite color?
Too many good ones to pick, so I don't have one. I tend to just go with whatever color fits my mood the best for a certain day.

G. Gummy bears or worms?
Sour gummy worms

H. Hometown?
homestate Arizona

I. Favorite indulgence?
Percocet currently (don't ask why)

J. January or July?
January, because you always get a fresh start!

K. Kids?
Someday.

L. Life isn’t complete without?
People.

M. Marriage date?
Preferably sometime before I turn 40. Wish me a luck!

N. Number of magazine subscriptions?
None. I got tired of the pressure to read them

O. Orange or apple?
Apple

P. Phobias?
None, but I've always been uncomfortable with rats, snakes, and frogs.

Q. Quotes?
"Man plans, God laughs".

R. Reasons to smile?
Hah. That question =)

S. Season of choice?
Spring and summer

T. Tag 5 people -
Graham, Dazzle, Clarise, Claire, Kris

U. Unknown fact about me?
I can recite the alphabet backwards, from Z to A, in less than 5 seconds.

V. Vegetable?
Brocolli

W. Worst habit?
Laughing out loud

X. X-ray or ultrasound?
X-ray

Y. Your favorite food(s)?
Sushi or anything sea foods.

Z. Zodiac sign
Sagittarius

Cheers always...xxxx

10,000 Dozens of Cookies

2009-01-15T21:29:00.014-07:00

"Please, get well soon!"

I'm home. For two weeks now. I'm home.

I survived the scalpels and my heart is beating stronger than it used to before I was hauled in the O.R. on a gurney. You see, I was born with a broken heart. But it's not the kind that couuld be fixed with a tub of ice cream for two weeks in front of the TV. It was literally broken--hole in a septal wall, valves not completely working, right side was abnormally enlarged--and I needed a doctor to fix it.
The good news, I found one. And I'm now well and alive.
The bad news, I have 10,000 dozen cookies in my kitchen that still need to be eaten. People love to show their concerns with sugar.
I haven't got a clue how to finish them.

When everyone was celebrating New Year's day with champagne, I was celebrating with morphine. By February, I should be out and about, but maybe passing time at home because my heart can't afford to break again just yet (valentines day has more than one way of doing that). And by March, who knows, I may even be strong enough to drink beer. But until then, I'll lay low and get better for a while.

I'm hoping the cookies should all be gone by April.
Then I'll celebrate Easter with those who gave them.

Cheers everyone....Happy New Year!
Stay healthy =)

Legacy.

2008-10-18T02:10:00.040-07:00

I only remember one thing my grandpa left me.

"Honey, grandpa died this morning," said mom.
"Awww...poor grandpa" I said.
Silence.

"How's papa doing then?" I asked.
"Okay, he's sleeping," said mom.
"Awww...poor dad."
Silence again.

It's not the most intense conversation to have with a parent who had just delivered a bad news, but I can't deny that was all we had at that moment. Over the years I became the granddaughter who knew my grandpa least, but I knew I had days with him that no one else will ever have as his first grandchild.

Many days in my childhood I sat beside him for hours in front of the TV while he played Nintendo's Super Mario Brothers. His hands worked so well with the buttons that he couldn't have entertained me any better even if he was spitting real fireballs himself. They were my cartoons--my grandpa's electronic quest for victory one animated mushroom at a time--too powerful and too vivid to forget. We were bound like we were supposed to: grandpa and granddaughter, just me and him, inseparable by the boring days before pre-school and after an early retirement.
Those were our moments.
We couldn't have any better.

These days, as I look at my own copy of the old Nintendo game, I wonder if it took him 20 minutes to get to Koopa's castle to save the princess from the first level like I do now. My hands work well with the buttons now too, he would've been so proud.

I wish he knew I think I inherited them from him.

I'll miss you Daddy. Always. Like no one would!
R.I.P: Reynaldo Vera Julian, Sr.

"Leash it!"

2008-09-07T12:12:00.014-07:00

Fellow pet owners, what's your take on this?

My landlady called yesterday about a homeowner's complaint on us from some lady that lives possibly 10 blocks away. Normally, old ladies are sweet, especially to dogs that run towards them with their little tails wagging as if to say "pet me! pet me!", but last week, someone I've met had a different take on my little shih-tzu.
"Leash her..." she says "...or I'll call the cops on you."

What leash was she talking about? I was only 10 feet away from my condo unit letting the dog out to poop or pee right on my front yard. It's her that didn't need to be walking around in my area since she lives on the other side of the complex, which...may I say, is already considered a different apartment from a different company than ours. Besides, the last time a cop came to check on the area at night and saw my dogie unleashed, he melted out to pet the dog and just gave me a little nod.
So yeah, what cop was she talking about calling in the first place?

Anyway, things had turned to her advantage when she took this up to the homeowners association and had my landlady noted. The sweet landlady of mine, bless her heart, understood the situation but was wary of the way I raise my pets. So from now on, have to be careful with my dog because if something like this was to happen again, she will be fined at least $2,000 for the incident.
Can we say what the ~~fuck~~?!!
Yeah, I'd say so too.

It's not that I will push my luck to see how far this would go, but I need to ask my fellow pet owners, do I have a take on this if things happen to get worse (I'm sure that pissy lady lurks around my area now to spy on me, and then kicks me out of the curb as soon as the shih-tzu happen to be out of her leash)? What are the chances of talking myself out of the situation, supposed I would have to, considering she doesn't really live in my area? And how the hell did she get around to fining my land lady (the biggest question)?

Please....any feedback will help!

Thanks in advance!!!

"Somebody Tag Me...."

2008-07-05T15:45:00.005-07:00

My prayer was answered...
...because when I asked for someone to tag me--so I could finally post something decent again--Aaron did not hesitate to step up to the plate and be the hero. Don't I have the best blogger friends ever???

Big big thanks to you buddy. You are currently my blog savior!

4 things I did 10 years ago (1998)
>> I only did one thing that really mattered to me that year, so everything else is not worth mentioning. At 14, I packed my books, my clothes, my good-bye letters, and everything else I no longer own today, along with my passport and my family.
We moved to United States.
And that concluds my "ten years ago" story.

4 things I did 5 years ago (2003)
>> Started college, after taking a semester break--which, by the way, isn't as bad as most people say--and was once confused whether I was really supposed to be there in the first place.
>> I made a few friends, which one might call "new" if I never mention we all went to the same high school. You know those people that you ignored for the entire four years while you were there? Careful with passing your judgement on them--the universe has its way of putting people back into our lives.
>> The show Felicity became my college guide. I have yet to apply what I've learned from watching it since then.
>> I turned two decades older--which was the year after my teens and before the legal drinking age of 21. It was both comforting and disappointing at the same time.

4 things I did yesterday (4th of July)
>> Went shopping for clothes and books.....now I'm broke again.
>> Turned down an invitation for the 4th of July barbecue.
>> Texted all my friends the following: "Fireworks and Beers for everyone, it's July. Happy 4th!"
>> Watched the U.S. swimming Olympics trial on TV with my sister. Phelps, Coughlin, and Peirsol are all going to Beijing.

4 tv shows I love to watch
>> Grey's Anatomy--who can resist McDreamy??
>> Ugly Betty
>> My Boys (summer program)
>> and the Japanese show Unbeatable Banzuke

4 things I love to do
>> Cook
>> Read novels
>> Listen to music
>> Watch TV.

--------------

Graham, this one's for you!

Happy Tagging!

The Power of Reading.

2008-05-28T10:46:00.017-07:00

My library card saves me money. It is currently the most priceless thing I own.

My sister said this before: "the more you read, the smarter you become", so I have been avoiding the Internet and the outside world lately for as long as I could bury my tiny nose into a book. And when I allow my head to be pulled away from its scripted pages, I look for a bookstore. Some kind of literacy addicting enigma had been fed to me that when I walk into Borders or Barnes & Noble, I always feel at home. Although, I must admit, the smartest thing I've done all year was to stop buying random books. The library is currently my heaven.

Seen from my over-scratched library card, I get very overwhelmed by the idea of free books ("Ooohh...I want to read this, and that, and this one too, and that one....."). Hundreds of them have been written for my pleasure, as I had noticed, that even the online database in our public library lists the novels that capture me, a teen once who never thought of picking up a book for fun. Yet here I am, trying to keep a close tight fist around my money every time I walk into a bookstore. I keep whispering to myself that of all the cards I own, at least the credit card isn't the one over-scratched. And certainly, that's good enough for me.

Surely I couldn't do it cold turkey, so more than once I'd scan a bookstore for books I've already read, and that's how I spend my money now--on things I've enjoyed. Buying random ones don't entice me anymore (or so I try), so I keep a list of specific books to buy. If I like it, I buy a copy for my shelf and see what it does for me. If I wasn't borrowing books for free, I was buying them at a bargain bookstore across the street in exchange for the ones I bought years ago that I want go get rid of now (Hah! My previous mistakes. Great trade), and that's how my world spins these days. If I have to, I'd tell my sister she's right. That not only do I feel smart, I'm also getting better with being less broke than usual.
Ahhh....the power of reading. Smart. Indeed.

*Ding!*, my inbox said.
"New Moon" by Stephanie Meyer is currently on the library shelf for me to pick up. That means I need to pull my fingers away from the keyboards now.

My eyes wants to be attached to something else.

Sun is Up!

2008-04-16T14:42:00.011-07:00

I can feel the heat.

Days before, when it was cold, I have wished so hard for the sun to start melting my frozen bones so I could get back to life again. The winter had made me feel like every part of my body was turning to ice, and there was no coat, no sweater, or no scarves that could save me. I wanted to stay in bed until spring.

Just this past week, however, the big yellow balloon in the sky that I had been waiting for finally appeared and threw down its gauntlet against the ice. I was his damsel in distress, and today, it rose at 6 in the morning with the highest heat at 81 degrees (F / 27C). Cold out, heat in. What a beautiful weather it brings.

All is well with my Sunshine.
Please, enjoy the heat!

Hemingway and his Six Words.

2008-04-11T22:37:00.010-07:00

I've been challenged into a meme.
Gemmerz found my blogging weakness and used it to her advantage.

"Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the challenge by asking readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (”Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (”I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (”Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (”I like big butts, can’t lie”).

Here's my six:

Innocence is beautiful. So look foolish.

Now here are the rules:
1. Write your own six words story
2. Post it in your blog and include illustrations if possible
3. Link to the person that tagged you to your post and the original post if possible (so it can be tracked as it travels)
4. Don't forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.
6. Have fun.

---------------------------------

It's an open meme, so TAG! You're it!
You know what to do.

Happy Tagging!

Page 123 Book Meme.

2008-03-29T00:25:00.025-07:00

I have unreluctantly volunteered to do this meme from Franscud's blog. The rules are as follows:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

One of the most beautiful questions I have ever been asked by a high school teacher in class was "if you could go back in time (at least 2 decades back), what three books would you bring with you and why?". My famous three answered that question since the day I picked them up at the bookstore for the money I could almost pay my internet service with. They're currently sitting on the shelf above my PC.
All of which are physically very near me.

Here they are....
....Are they here?

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver (1998)

A bestselling novel about a missionary family, the Prices, who in 1959 move from Georgia to the fictional village of Kilanga in the Belgian Congo. The Price's story, which parallels their host country's tumultuous emergence into the post-colonial era, is narrated by the five women of the family: Orleanna, long-suffering wife of Baptist missionary Nathan Price, and their four daughters – Rachel, Leah, Adah, and Ruth May. [citing: wikipedia]

"When we came home my sisters had to cup up my dinner ever day and help me get dressed. It was the best thing that happened. I showed Leah where you could get into the alligator pear tree and she boosted me up."

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold (2002)
The story of a teenage girl who, after being brutally raped and murdered, watches from heaven as her family and friends go on with their lives, while she herself comes to terms with her own death. [citing: wikipedia]

"'I was trying to warn her,' Artie said weakly.
Artie returned to his table. He drew hypodermics one after another."

Eating Heaven by Jennie Shortridge (2005)
A novel that combines the theme of family secrets with that of a young woman's struggle to accept herself as she happens to be - overweight. Eleanor Samuels gives up her job as a freelance food writer to care for her ailing Uncle Bennie and discovers, along with some important truths about the past, that you don't have to be thin to have a good life, or loving relationships. [citing: Nancy Pearl]

"She plants a dewy kiss on his cheek, leaving behind tow fat crescents of lip gloss.
'I'm serious, Henry' shey says, play pouting. 'Think about it, and call me.'"

------------------------------------------------------

Melanie, Graham, and Claire, I'm thinking of you.

Happy Tagging!
Tagging Happy!

I Do. I Don't. I Have, the "I" Tag.

2008-03-04T01:21:00.024-07:00

Ms. ClaireBear saves the day with a meme I know, for the blog world loves her so.

Brilliant with personality this meme is, I feel honored to be one of those who gets hit by the touch of Claire's blogging magic. Since I've buried my nose long enough into Barbara Kingsolver's "The Poisonwood Bible" (a novel), which brought me a week of no new posts, I'd like to step away from the book for a while to get back to blogging. And since I learned from Kingsolver that another meaning takes its sense when you type certain phrases on backwards, a new way of writing is definitely a must try. Now I could actually put it into practice for this post.

Post this for practice. Into it, put "actually". Could I now?

The rule: Fill and Forward, I imagine.

I AM....your typical girl next door who knows no more about ruling the world than how to breed Okapis. If I disappear in the morning, you'd still find me walking my dogs in the afternoon and reading a novel at home in the evening. That's me in a nut-shell.

I WANT...more hours in a day when I'm having fun, and less when nothing exciting is happening. Like, work. Yeah. Work.
Work. Yeah. Work-like.

I WISH...I could go with my Grandma to visit Philippines this April. The reasons: Grandpa is not doing well, aunts and cousins to see in Cebu, and the higher value of a dollar for splurge shopping.

I HATE...the fact that I can't find a friend to go to a concert with me this weekend.

I FEAR...I might have to go to the concert alone with my sister and her high school friends, this weekend.

I HAVE...a crush on a couple of my fellow bloggers.
Oooohhhh....who could it be?!
Be it, could....You?! Oooohhhh....

I SEARCH...for the best shoe-store-sale this spring. I do, aside from the adjustment of hours in a day, still want wedge shoes.

I WONDER....when someone first came up with hot dogs, how they got around to selling it then the way they do now with no one knowing what it was and where it came from. But I guess curiosity sells, so there's a bit of an answer.

I REGRET...nothing in my life, even the biggest mistakes. Life is too short to live with thoughts of what could have beens and what should have beens when it's the here, the now, and the beyond that really counts.

I LOVE...the scent of new shoes. Rubberish. Fresh.
Fresh rubber.

I ALWAYS...pray before I sleep.

I AM NOT...going to bed until I finish this.

I DANCE...to Scissor Sister's "I Don't Feel Like Dancing", Sugababe's "Push the Button", The Hoosier's (oddly enough) "Goodbye Mr. A", and anything that the band Orson sings.

I SING...all the time. At my best. Always.

I CRY...when I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm happy, and when I'm physically hurting.

I WRITE...poorly in high school, which era of writings lies between the lines of BS-ing and best wishing. I'd like to think I've gotten better since then.

I WON...the lottery more than once in my dream.

I AM CONFUSED...about what I should do in life (seems like I've been driven astray for a while).
Life in DO. Should I "what-about"?

I NEED...money just like everybody else.

I SHOULD...really go to bed. I'm tired.
Tired, I am. Bed, to go.

THE LAST THOUGHT I GO TO SLEEP WITH IS...that at least one person is thinking of me right this moment.
-------------------------------------------------

It's an open meme. I pass it forward to anyone.

Happy Tagging!
Tagging happy!

Disconnected.

2008-02-25T21:39:00.037-07:00

Eight months after a friend's death, how am I doing?

It's the aftermath that kills you. Not the moment that you receive a phone call about the dreadful news, not the moment you almost pray for it to be a joke, and not the time you meet everyone at the venue of grieving to confirm that it was real. It's the days, the nights, the weeks after, the months after, and the year after that makes you feel the sorrow; the time you spent alone knowing that there is no one else that can help you grieve but yourself.

I should admit, Big James and I weren't as close as I wish we we were during his lifetime, but we co-existed with the same group of people for years that I could not imagine, now that he's gone, being around everybody without him there. Silent and gentle, I can still remember some of his phone calls like it was yesterday: "we're going to tuts...wanna come?" "we're going to a movie...wanna come?", and as I type those words in quotations, I can almost hear his voice saying them. I rarely got those invitations directly from him. But when they did come from him, I usually said yes. All of them, however, had gone away completely the moment someone said something about HIS autopsy on the phone. Maybe he was, in his own way, who held everybody together in a place of fun and affordable group entertainments. And now, I feel more disconnected from the group than I have ever felt before he passed.

For a while, I took solace on hanging out with his best friend. But I found that I could never match his energy of "let's go here" and "let's go there" the way James had. In my world, there was only the TV and the Internet, and a place like the hookah bar or the pool hall is something I couldn't bring myself into unless everybody else, including James, was there. I couldn't, however, bring everyone together the way that he did. I never had that talent. Now, I'm left with the memories of all our the laughter and all I have are the rare occasions of fun with my closest friends who are, if I'm not mistaken, as much lost from the group as I am to this day.

Before, I use to know how to tell myself that it's okay to retreat into my own world because when I'm ready to come alive, a simple phone call to the rest of the world would set me free. I can't do that anymore.
Not while everybody else is still grieving.
Not, while everyone else, is still disconnected from each other as well.