Weighing On My Mind

The Chair

2008-01-22T22:15:00.000-08:00

I believe an entry or two ago, I mentioned that we have a papasan chair...you know, one of those bamboo satellite dish looking things with a cushion in it? They are insanely comfortable, but they also take up a helluvalot of room, and they're very difficult to get out of. Hubs has been wanting to get rid of that thing forever, and I just couldn't do it....until recently.
Let me explain.
Once upon a time, at the mere age of 19 - I made the decision to move in with a boyfriend. We had been together a little over a year, and of course I knew EVERYTHING back then, and I was sick of living at home by my parents rules. I was trying to find a place of my own, but nobody would rent to me because I didn't have any rental history, and my parents weren't about to cosign for me (can't blame them at all for that by the way)...my boyfriend at the time wasn't getting along with his roommate and wanted to get his own place too - so one day, strictly out of convenience it seems, we decided to just get a place together. Looking back on that time, it's all very ODD how it happened because there was never a big discussion of "let's move in together and take our relationship to the next level"....it was more like "hey, do you wanna?" - and "sure, let's do it".
dumb, dumb, dumb - stupid, stupid, stupid
But I digress....anyway, he was a nice enough guy, and we got along great - and despite my parents and family and friends all knowing I'd made a huge mistake...things calmed down after my initial move out and we lived in our first apartment for a couple of years, and then moved to a bigger and nicer apartment...which is when I decided that I really wanted a papasan chair. Back then I think I tried way too hard to be agreeable and avoid confrontation, so I pretty much let him call the shots - and he was completely opposed to getting a papasan chair. I would bring it up from time to time, and it was always a resounding NO from his corner. It was a real sore point for me because our apartment looked like a bachelor pad...seriously - a big ass stereo, guitars, posters, 2nd hand couches, etc, etc - but the ONE thing I really wanted, I wasn't allowed to have - and for some reason I allowed that to happen.
I was with this guy for a total of 4 and half years...and I KICK MYSELF for all things I let him get away with in our relationship. I was way too passive, and didn't stand up for what was important to me as much as I should have. I finally got smart and knew I was never going to marry him, and got the courage to initiate the break up. He took it well, I think he kinda knew that we were going in different directions as well....but then he proceeded to take his sweet time finding his own place (which is what we had agreed on by the way). We lived as roommates for a few months...until we finally found an apartment he could afford and I really had to just PUSH him out at that point. Why would he leave when I was still keeping the place tidy and doing laundry and cooking dinner? And what the hell was I thinking continuing to DO all that stuff? I have no idea...Anyway - the first thing I bought after he moved out? MY PAPASAN CHAIR. I went and bought the one I wanted, and put it in the living room and did my own little victory dance because I was finally on my own and I had finally gotten smart about my life's decisions. It's ridiculous that it took me so much time to finally realize what I wanted out of life, and do something about it. But that chair was definately a symbol for me - I called it my "independence chair", and it just reminded me how good it felt to finally decide that what I wanted was important...and my feelings shouldn't just be cast aside.When hubs came into my life, he knew all about the chair and it's symbol to me...and as much as he hated the thing - he knew it was important and never made me get rid of it. He would suggest it sometimes, like when we bought a new couch and matching chair - and then had this huge monstrosity of a chair crammed in a room because there was no room for it anywhere else...but he fully respected WHY I just couldn't get rid of it. That's the great thing about hubs...he may not have liked that chair - but he understood it was important to me, and he cared more about that than anything else. I definately married the right guy!
So last weekend, I was cleaning and getting prepared for company...and I was vacuuming that chair. I took a break and sat on our sofa and stared at it, realizing that I'd had the thing for 7 years. It had been taking up space in my house and remained a symbol of my independence for 7 years. I sat there and I thought about how often I really ever sat in that chair, and even when I'm not pregnant - it seems to be more of a cat bed and a clutter zone than anything...and why on earth would I need my independence symbol when hubs gives me all the independence I need, and what we have is almost a complete opposite from my previous relationship? Now I'm about to have a baby and my life is going to change completely...and I'm at a totally different place in my life then I was at that age. I don't NEED that symbol in my life anymore, you know? I have everything I want and more.So I resolutely took the cushion out of the chair - decided to give it to Georgia for a dog bed...and hauled that big ole thing out of my house and into the driveway. I took another chair from our office that we didn't really have the room for, and placed that in the living room and decided I really liked how much extra space I had just created.
Hubs came home and didn't say a WORD about the chair....so I finally said "so ummm, did you notice what's sitting outside?"
and he said "well yeah, but I didn't want to assume anything in case you were cleaning it or something"
and I looked at him and said "hun, I've decided to let it go"
and he looked at me with huge eyes and said "really? are you sure? you're really ready to get rid of it?"
and I nodded affirmatively - "I'm READY" I said.
He jumped up and said "well allllllright! let's do this!"and proceeded to make a big sign that said FREE and he dragged that chair down our driveway out to the street. 20 minutes later, it was gone. My independence chair tossed into someone's truck and hauled off to take up space in someone else's house.
Oddly enough, I felt lighter once that thing was gone. After thinking about it, I realized, that perhaps instead of being a symbol of my independence...over the years, it had just become a reminder of a past relationship...and a reminder of some bad decisions I had made...and a reminder that I had let another person make decisions FOR me, instead of with me.

I now sit in a completely different chair, in my now spacious living room, with my hand on my belly, and I think about how different my life is now, and how much I've changed, and how much I have to look forward to. And I smile...

Time Flies

2008-01-22T21:57:00.000-08:00

I'm currently 29 weeks along, which just blows my mind. 11 weeks to go...or a little less or a little more - who knows, I think THAT'S the part that freaks me out. We had our ultrasound on Friday, and everything looks great - the kidneys are fine, no more extra fluid in there. Hubs ended up being able to go, his bosses caved and let him come in a bit late...so we had both my parents and hubs in there - which was pretty funny because the doctor walked in and his eyes got all wide "oh man, I better make sure I do a good job this morning because I've got quite the audience!"

At one point during the ultrasound - he was measuring the baby's head, and he looked at me and goes "allright, who's responsible for this big head?" and we all raised our hands, even my parents...hahaha - he patted me on the arm and said "good luck to ya"

GREAT - so my critter will be sporting a giant noggin, think stretchy thoughts people! haha

Also? the kid does NOT like the ultrasound wand because wherever the doctor went - he'd get kicked and thumped.He got a pretty good 3D facial picture and let me tell you it's SO WEIRD to see this because our kid has hub's nose and lips to a tee. If I hold the picture up next to his face, the resemblence is unreal.

I keep staring at this picture because I find it so bizarre. That's my KID in there. At what point will this ever seem real? I'm starting to wonder...
Also, that was our last ultrasound - so the next time we see this baby, it'll be HERE.
***
So Friday morning I piled Georgia into the car, and dropped by my brother's house to pick up Jasper, and my parents ended up bringing their dog Libby to the doctor's office too - so once we were done, mom went to get Libby and she was going to come with me to the dog park, since I had the day off. Well when she opened the door to put Libby in - Jasper hopped out and then Georgia hopped out and then Libby backed herself out of the collar. The next 5 minutes were a calamity of mom and I trying to round up dogs who were STOOOKED to be out of the car and running around a parking lot. I was freaking out because G does not come when I call her and so I have this huge fear that she'll run out into the street and get hit by a car, and Libby lives out in the country - and isn't so good about coming when called either - so mom was trying to round her up - while I'm running around with my big ole belly trying to round up my naughty dog who's just having the time of her life running between offices and cars and soooo not listening to me. Jasper was good and got right back into the car and just watched the scene play out - mom finally grabbed Libby and got HER back in the car...and I finally yelled enough at G that she layed down in the parking lot and let me walk up and grab her. She knew she was busted because I was NOT HAPPY. Mom and I both got in the car and looked at each other and said "what the HELL were we thinking taking 3 dogs to the dog park?" - hahaha
Well, after a stop at Starbucks...we drove all the way out there and they had a blast and came home VERY tired, so it was definately worth it - I just don't know how soon I'll have that bright idea again.

More Random Thoughts

2008-01-17T19:51:00.000-08:00

I swear I have the BEST BOSS EVER. Remember how I mentioned that I'll be essentially moving our office to my house, and then the warehouse/tech stuff will be moved to a workshop on my boss's property? Well he's been cleaning out his warehouse and going through stuff - organizing and getting rid of things in preparation for the big move. He came in this morning and said that while he was going through stuff yesterday he found a rocking chair...and his wife insisted that he keep it for me, so that when I come in twice a week - I'll have a place to feed the baby at the "office". So he cleaned it up and set it in a quiet corner where my desk (and probably a playpen) will be for after the baby comes. Seriously you guys, in my emotional state I just wanted to cry when he told me that. How many bosses would DO THAT? Not many I imagine...it just makes my heart flip flop to know that he and my coworkers are going out of their way to make my life easier. I mean come on...I now have my own rocking chair at work - serious warm fuzzies and appreciation happening over here!

***
I am a notorious list maker. One of the habits I've gotten into lately is making a daily "to do" list when I first sit down at my desk. I think it must be because I have such severe belly brain that if I don't write it down, I will inevitably not accomplish anything that day simply out of forgetfullness. Sometimes I make one list for work and one for home - or sometimes I combine them, but I just feel better prepared for my day when I have a list going. Now, that's not to say that I complete everything on the list, in fact I think I've only completed an entire list once, haha - BUT, just having everything written down and having my thoughts organized helps me have a plan for the day. I can sometimes be very spontaneous and that plan goes right out the window, but I think that's probably good otherwise I'd be labeled as anal - and honestly, the only thing I think I'm truly anal about is my checkbook. I have to balance my checkbook every day, or my head will explode.
Anyway - I find myself getting ready for work in the morning and finding certain things around the house that need to be done...nothing major...but just stuff I need to remember like watering the plans, or sending off certain bills, or starting the dishwasher, or stopping at the store (which of course involves another list that I have to doublecheck 58926 times because if I don't have my list, I'll go in for cat food and ice and come out with eggs and string cheese). These days my lists are like my lifeline to getting everything ready and feeling better prepared for this big life changing event we're going to be experiencing. I feel like if I do something every day, then I won't be stuck stressing at the end or feeling like I'm not ready....course I have a sneaking suspicion that no matter what I do, I'm still not going to feel completely ready.
Eventually I guess I'll be putting "GIVE BIRTH" on the list...just for the sake of being able to cross it off - ha!

***
Speaking of lists...here is a list of things I've noticed lately about my comfort level:
-I've discovered that I can't sit very comfortably anymore. Sitting on the couch, I'm only good for a few minutes of regular sitting before I end up in the leaned back to make room for the belly position...and even then, I'm still not comfortable and I find myself fidgeting alot or getting up and fussing around the house.
-We have one of those papasan chairs in our living room, and I absolutely cannot sit in that thing if I'm home alone. Hubs has to help me out of that chair, or I'm like a turtle on it's back with legs and arms flailing around.
-In bed, when I need to switch sides, I kind of roll back and forth a couple times just to get up the momentum needed to hoist this belly over...you would think that all this movement would wake up the hubster, but so far he has slept through it every time.
-You know how when you finish a big meal and feel sort of "uncomfortably full"...like you want to go home and put on your elastic pants? Yeah well, pregnancy gives a WHOLE NEW MEANING to the term uncomfortably full. If I don't eat slowly and give myself a chance to digest before deciding if I'm done, then I seriously regret it later and I swear that my belly has doubled in size and there isn't an elastic pant on this earth that will make me comfortable.
-Shoes with laces are challenging and I usually feel like I need a nap after that particular event.
-Whenever I sneeze, I get this major sharp pain way down low and I end up wincing and bent over cursing (not to mention legs crossed)...hubs swears that I must be scaring the poor kid and it's in there with all four limbs stuck straight out against the inside of my belly going "what the hell was THAT?"
-My cats are pissed because my lap is getting smaller and smaller. In fact just the other day Tweak crawled up on me and then proceeded to flop over on his side like normal, except that there wasn't enough lap left and he rolled off onto the floor and then glared at me and stomped off in a huff.
-Dropping something on the floor is a much bigger deal now than it ever used to be...The other night while cooking dinner, I dropped THREE different spoons on the floor - and just kept getting new ones until hubs came into the kitchen and could pick them up for me. Yes, I AM that lazy.
-The kicks are getting harder and harder, and while I still think it's wierd - I also think it's incredibly cool to be able to sit in one place and watch my belly jump and move on it's own....I think I will really miss that once this baby comes. There is just something about being able to feel that movement - kind of a reassurance that everything is okay in there.

***
Some pictures I found on my camera....
One morning, I was sitting on the floor putting on my shoes - when I felt a staring, and I looked up and saw this from the top of our dresser:

He looks like he could jump on my face and suck out my eyeballs or something.

This one was during Christmas while I was wrapping stuff - I had set this box out to package some stuff up and looked over and found that Not-So-Tiny had crammed his big butt into this thing...

well this was just the most random post ever...my thoughts are all over the place today!

Busy, Busy

2008-01-15T18:34:00.000-08:00

There's a crib in my house...
and instead of looking like this: It now looks like this:

Well, the baby's room is started at least! We finally did what we set out to do over the weekend and painted and sanded our butts off. Okay, hubs painted - I sanded (with a mask, for all you worriers out there...MOM).
Let's see, Saturday morning - I slept in until about 9am, which felt SO GOOD. We got dressed - loaded up the pooch, and headed out for pancakes. You know, hubs and I would have been fine with just a bowl of cereal or something so we could get started on the day already - but the BABY was demanding pancakes...so I sucked it up and accomodated.
We then headed to the dog park for about an hour so G could burn off some energy. After fully wearing her out, we went to home depot and picked up all the supplies and paint we needed...and then after stopping at coffee bean for a pick-me-up (again, ALL baby's idea) it was back home to get crackin.
We took EVERYTHING out of the room and piled it all in the living room - which basically means, we couldn't even see the tv by the time we were done what with all the crap stacked everywhere. Hubs moved the bookshelf and the desk/changing table outside for me so I could start sanding...and he got started painting the room.
Tiny decided to get comfortable on our bed which was leaning up against the couch in a very awkward position:

Just Chillin
And a few hours later, he was still there...but decided to REALLY relax:

Those back feet just kill me...this is his "don't bother me" face.

Honestly - in my head, I figured sanding would take maybe a couple of hours...not all damn afternoon...but that's exactly how long it took. The bookshelf is one that my dad built when I was about 4 years old - and hadn't been painted since, so it was pretty hammered and the paint on that sucker was THICK. I wasn't trying to get all the paint off - but I wanted to at least have a smooth surface to repaint, you know? I mentioned to my mom how long it took and she goes "oh yeah, that must have been during your dad's enamel paint phase of 1981" - ha! Apparantly he thought enamel paint was the bomb back then...nevermind that it went on like MUD.
Anyway - after sanding and spackling in dents and sanding AGAIN on both peices of furniture - I had to give up for the day and save the painting for Sunday. Hubs was pretty much done in the room - he just had some trimwork to finish up, and the baseboard to touch up as well.
We actually showered and got dressed and went to church Saturday night too, which was impressive for all the work we'd both done...but my parents rewarded us with pie afterwards, so that was cool.
So Sunday morning - we got up and went to the hardware store to pick up a few things we'd forgotten and we picked out some handles and contact paper to line the desk drawers as well.
Got home, and started painting - unfortunately for me, it was super hot that day....but fortunately it at least helped the paint dry quickly, and hubs came out and painted the desk for me - so we got that stuff done faster than expected.
I got this desk second hand from a college student when I was in 8th grade and it was supremely beaten up from all the years spent in my bedroom, and then being moved around with me three different times. Here is a before:

aaand after:

It came out much better than I expected...and I've spent the last two evenings installing new handles and lining the entire insides of all the drawers with sage green contact paper. I SUCK at lining things...in fact, so far every time I've moved - I've gotten my mom to come line all my drawers and shelves because she is the master, and I'm terrible. But hubs and I are working our way through Season 1 of the Unit on Netflix, and so it's a good time for me to do tedious stuff like lining drawers, ha! I decided to do all the sides as well as the bottom since I'll be using this as a changing table and will have diapers and things stacked in the drawers.
Here is the bookshelf before:

and after:

This is probably the best picture to show the color we painted the room. It's called Aqua breeze and it's a veeeeery subtle pale blue. I wanted the color to be really light because there is only one window and the room is dark anyway - so this color ended up being perfect, it's not BLUE! it's blue....hahaha.
That chair there is going to be my rocking chair - it's actually an IKEA chair, but it's super comfy and the arms are down low enough to be comfortable for a short person like myself to hold a baby in. The chair pad doesn't exactly match the rest of the room, but I've decided I don't care.
So there you have it - we still have to sand the dresser - which is almost exactly the same honey color as the crib, and then we'll be DONE with the furniture. We're in the process of washing all the bedding - and we have a new bedskirt and bedspread to put on. I also need to wash all the baby clothes and blankets that we have so far and start putting things away. The closet still needs a good sorting out as well. My wedding dress is still in there crammed in a garment bag...never been dry cleaned since I wore it almost SIX YEARS ago. So maybe this week I can actually take it in and have it cleaned and boxed nicely.
At some point during the day on Sunday, I pulled a muscle and had to sit on the balance ball for about an hour because I was in so much pain...that sucked. I keep having to remind myself that I can't just DO all the stuff I want to do - this body doesn't cooperate like it used to - the baby starts complaining after a while. I'm STILL a bit sore and it's Tuesday...so there is much ball sitting going on in my house (if THAT sentence won't get the googlers hoppin, I don't know what will!).
I leave you all with a 28 week picture of my ROUND-AS-CAN-BE belly...I'm continually amazed at what I look like from this angle. The next 12 weeks are going to be interesting to say the least. I might have to take two pictures and put them side by side because I may not be able to fit my entire belly into one picture...just LOOK at how this thing has grown! hahaha Just for the sake of comparison...this was 24 weeks:

Operation Baby Update

2008-01-09T21:18:00.001-08:00

I had a doctor's appointment today and I passed the glucose test! Yippee! Not sure why I was so worried about that (gummi bear addiction maybe?) but I'm really glad I don't have to worry about it anymore. They did find out that I'm slightly anemic, so I've got to take an iron supplement every day. Doc said that it's very common at this stage of pregnancy because the baby is growing alot and snatching all my nutrients. ha!
Unfortunately, I gained FIVE POUNDS since my last appointment, which was only a month ago. Yeesh - that's the most I've gained so far...that puts me at 12 pounds total. Doc said that's actually pretty good for being almost 28 weeks and I shouldn't worry about it - but 5 pounds in 4 weeks just seems like alot to me. He chalked it up to the holidays and told me to not to think about it and just try to eat healthy and drink lots of water. I think I've been lacking with the water thing lately...and the eating healthy thing...so I can definately focus more on both.
He found the heartbeat right away and said it's good and strong, and then told me that the baby is in a breech position - which explains why the top of my belly is so hard, but all the kicking is way down low. (which reminds me...ahem, kid? you think you could stop doing LORD OF THE DANCE on my bladder? thanks) He said this is also normal and that the baby will change positions alot between now and birth. I'm now switched from 4 week appts to a 3 week appt - and then down to 2 weeks and then 1 week and then there will be a BABY IN DA HOUSE. Frickin wierd.
So that's the update for now - we have an ultrasound scheduled for the 18th to check the fluid levels in the baby's kidneys...so I'm hoping to have some pretty good pics to share. Hubs and I are planning on taking the day off together and setting up some appts with a few pediatricians we'd like to meet. Doc said that's our next step, and we should start "interviewing" and making a decision. Again..frickin wierd.

This weekend is supposed to be sunny and clear, so the plan is for hubs to start painting the room - and I'm gonna start sanding furniture for repainting. It would be AWESOME to have it all done by this weekend so we can actually start setting up the room...but I'm trying not to count on it because things like this usually take alot longer than expected. We have a bookshelf, a desk (changing table), and a dresser to sand and paint, so we'll see how it goes. It'll be nice to start washing some of the blankets and clothes we've been given and start putting things away. I'll have to try to remember to take before and after pictures.

Time to go guzzle some water now...

Random Stuff

2008-01-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted Tuesday, January 08, 2008)

Yeah baby...hubs did ALLLLL the laundry yesterday. Now, usually when I say hubs did laundry I mean hubs put clothes in the washer and the dryer and then piled them all on top of our dining table where they remain until all 3 cats have had turns sleeping on our clean warm clothes, thus creating mounds of cat hair and the need to rewash everything. Or he'll pile it all there and suggest "a folding party!", which kinda sucks because it's usually been there for so long that everything is all wrinkled and schmunkled.
But THIS time...he actually folded everything right as it came out of the dryer - AND put everything away in drawers or on hangers. You guys, I'm flabbergasted. I actually for a brief moment thought body snatchers had entered my home.
I recently put this sign up in the laundry room:

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WORKED!

****

My brother recently bought himself one of those new style mini-coopers. It's sort of his "fun" car...since he's got 3 kids, and no chance of the entire family of five fitting into that thing all at once. But he loves it - he's always wanted one, and I guess they decided to go for it. Hubs and I stopped by their house to check out his new wheels and he tossed me the keys and told me to take it for a spin. My older neices (6 and 8 years old) wanted to come with, so they climbed into the back seat, hubs rode shotgun, and I drove off feeling like a total badass chick driver...think Charlize Theron in the Italian Job. That thing was SO FUN TO DRIVE! I drove for a bit, with the girls shouting "go auntie!" in the backseat...and then I begrudgingly pulled over so hubs could have a turn. We were both very impressed at how that little car handles corners and had a total blast driving it. So this Christmas we got a very appropriate onsie for "the bun" from my brother and family:

How cute is that?
****
Not sure if I've ever mentioned it....but mom is a signpainter - but she also does alot of interior stuff for people, murals and things like that. When my brother and sister in law were pregnant with their 3rd child, they decided to do a theme in the nursery from the book "Guess How Much I Love You?". My mom and CC looked through the book, and chose a couple of pictures for mom to paint on the walls. I was going through some of my computer pics today and stumbled upon some pictures of the nursery. I'm so amazed at how my mom can just look at a picture and then dictate it onto a wall with a paintbrush. Seriously - she's so talented...and I can't even draw decent stick figures. Check these out:

My brother and his family knew they were going to be at their current house for quite a few years, and they got permission from the landlords to do such a scene on the walls. But in our current position, I would hate for mom to go through all the trouble of painting something on the walls and then risk us finding a house to buy and having to leave it behind. She did paint some wood cut-outs for some people once who were renters and wanted to be able to take it with them...so that sort of thing would be a good option for us. Their son's room had a superman theme, so she did this:

Pretty darn cool. Sooo...since I've gotten such great advice from all you blog readers in the past, if you were me and you weren't into themes per say...but you had a talented mom who was willing to do a nifty little something or other for the walls of your baby's room - what you have her do? I'm kind of at a loss, and tempted to just let her sit this one out and just help me decorate and get the room together without a specific painting project. But I don't know...any suggestions??

A peek into my world...

2008-01-09T21:16:00.004-08:00

(Originally posted Monday, January 07, 2008)

Hubs is home sick today...and the following conversation recently took place over the phone:

"Hi honey, hey..while you're home do you think you could make a few calls?"
"sure - I've just got some laundry going right now"
"oh reeaaally? Playing Coco the houseboy are we?"
"hahaha....yeah, sort of"
"soooo - is there a speedo and a feather duster involved?"
"umm, babe - no speedo - that would be like wrapping a rubber band around an orange"
"haha - okay, how about some Lady Marmalade action then?"
"Gitche-Gitche-Ya-Ya..."
"okay you can stop now"

aannnnnnndd THAT would be a pretty typical conversation in our household.
Scary that someday soon we're going to actually go to the hospital - and then they're just going to let us come home with a baby. BY OURSELVES.
In fact, that kinda makes me laugh - because I remember when we adopted Georgia and we had to fill out like 4 pages of questions about our "parenting" skills. How much time we'd be spending with her - what our philosophies were about potty training - whether or not we'd be enrolling her in dog obedience school - how much time she'd be left alone during the day....it was crazy - I mean I'm glad they do it, but I'm pretty sure that to have a baby they don't give you questionaire's like that (or do they? ha!). So we had to jump through all these hoops to prove we'd be good doggie parents and yet any ole Joe Schmoe can walk into a hospital and leave with a baby. There is something soooo backwards about that.

Course - if anyone were to tap our phones to become reassured of our fantastic parenting skills - we'd be totally screwed.

Part of the process

2008-01-09T21:16:00.003-08:00

(Originally posted Monday, January 07, 2008)

This weekend hubs and I actually went and bought a solid colored quilt for the bed in the baby's room - and we also picked out a paint color for the walls. We're getting there...slowly, but surely. Since our local weather report said it was going to be storming all weekend, we planned on hunkering down at home with a fire in the fireplace. Course it didn't actually rain on either Saturday or Sunday until late afternoon...but oh well. I am in sorting/purging mode! We took a big load of clothes to the Goodwill on Saturday - and I already have two more boxes of stuff piled by the door ready to go as well. I found myself sorting through kitchen drawers at 10pm last night because I just had that ITCH to get rid of stuff we don't need. I've become very anti-clutter lately. I suppose that must be that whole nesting thing people talk about because normally I'm not bothered much by clutter.
My sister in law reminded me this weekend that I need to get on the ball and register for baby stuff...and I groaned. I was immediately reminded of the disaster that was registering for my wedding.
See, hubs lived in the Bay area when we met. He also lived there during our entire dating and engagement, which made the whole wedding business a bit more difficult to manage. My husband is not the "just tell me when to show up" type - he was very involved in everything from color choices, to table decorations...which means that alot of things had to be decided upon over the phone or during our weekend visits. When it came time to register...we decided to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond - and we decided to do it on a Sunday while I was up north visiting him. I must first explain, that I had already been living on my own and had an apartment full of my own stuff at this point. Hubs on the other hand was new at this entire experience and was still living at home at the time (understandably so because it's so darn expensive up there). So I had to relinquish a bit of control over things in my house that I'd had control of for so long. And letting go of my control issues? not an easy thing for me...in fact, that was probably my biggest challenge when it came to us getting married and hubs moving in. I liked living alone...and I liked having my own space with my own things - all that pretty much goes out the window when you decide to get hitched...
So anyway - we went to register, which began what I believe was "our first real fight" of 2001.
Let's just say we had a hard time agreeing on much of anything, from glasses, to dishes, to towels, to sheets, to pretty much ANYTHING. His taste was completely different from mine, and vice versa. At one point, I remember sitting in the bedding section on the floor with the scanner in one hand and a completely defeated look on my face because we'd been there for 3 hours and could NOT agree on what sheets to register for. hahaha - in retrospect, of course it's completely ridiculous and unimportant now...but at the time, it really sucked. My biggest problem was that hubs was notorious for wandering off and playing with different gadgets and gizmos. I wanted to just get it DONE and get OUT - but since hubs is actually the type to give a crap about what household items we had, I was constantly having to draw him back in and reind him to pay attention to what we were doing.
The one thing he kept doing was dancing...to the music I mean, playing over the loud speaker. I would normally laugh and giggle at this aspect of him - but by hour #3, I was so sick of being in that place and so sick of us arguing and him being distracted, that the dancing was really getting on my nerves. Just as we were about to finish, I turned and asked him a question about something and he was busy bustin a move in the middle of housewares and I just flipped out..."would you QUIT dancing around and focus, so we can get F*%$ out of here!"
and he spun around and threw his hands up in the air and shouted "IF I CAN'T DANCE, I HAVE NOTHING!!!!"
Which is when I exhaustedly collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter because THAT? was the funniest thing ever. Seriously, the best way to end such a miserable experience was for us to be laughing so hard tears were rolling down our faces in the middle of BB and B. I still tease him to this day about that, because we were both just so irritated with each other and that one little statement made all the irritation disappear....not to mention everyone in the store probably thinking he was a Broadway reject or something.
So here we are facing a baby registry and all I can think of is hubs in Babies R Us shaking his booty to the music and me getting ready to throw the scanner directly as his head. HA!
Maybe I should just let him go and pick out the stuff...so I can avoid the whole thing. Although I suspect he would find a reason to register at Best Buy and give me a million reasons why our child needs that big screen plasma tv.
By the way - here's a shirt that hubs got for Christmas from my brother and his family...how very appropriate, hee!

A Choice is Made...

2008-01-09T21:16:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted Wednesday, January 02, 2008)

Well now...my bedding dilemma is over - and I'm actually...wait for it...excited about getting the room all together now. I PICKED FABRIC!!!
We still have a ton of stuff to do - we never did get started on painting the furniture like I wanted to, and that's a desk, a bookshelf, and a dresser - so that'll be a pretty big project to undertake. Of course it'll be raining cats and dogs this weekend, so it's going to have to wait. But now, all our christmas decorations and gifts are piled in the babies room, waiting to be sorted through and put away. We can't even walk into the room at this point - so while my house is looking extremely clean and organized these days...that one room is like my nemesis. Now that I have a "vision" about what it'll look like though, I'm really excited about getting organized and ready for the baby. (that sentence right there still throws me...holy crap we're having a baby...breathe Robyn!)
So first off, I need to say that I know the colors I picked are more geared for a boy - I still like it - and I feel like if we have a girl, then it'll be pretty easy to girl it up a bit, you know? add some flowers and twinges of girly things. I'm not into pink anyway, so it's not like it would be super girly even if we knew ahead of time.
Anyway - sister in law CC and I headed to the a local fabric store which was very well organized, and it was nice because they have everything coordinated by shelf. So if I pick one fabric, they have all different prints also there - but in coordinating colors...which is perfect because I really don't want to walk into the room and see everything all matchy-matchy. I like having different patterns and prints, but in coordinating colors.
I immediately found this striped fabric and just knew that this was what I wanted...

So the stripes will be the bedskirt on the crib...and then I picked the coordinating polka dots for the bumper pads - and she's going to make ties out of the striped fabric to pull it all together.

Also, she's going to make a quilt with one side dots and one side stripes. So then I picked out this fabric for a curtain...

not actually a curtain, but more like just a valence across the top...I'll probably just get some soft sheers or something because there is only one window in that room and with the blinds that are already there - it would be too dark with panel curtains. I didn't actually like this print at first - but the more I look at it, the more I like it...and it'll only be a very small part of the room, otherwise I think it would be too garish.
and then I saw this fabric and really liked it - but I wasn't sure what to do with it because it's pretty girly...

so CC suggested making a couple of throw pillows for the chair and the bed (we have a full sized bed in that room that we'll be getting a soft green duvet cover for) so it's not too much, and just little accents. So there it is...I'm excited because I really like it and I think it'll all come together once it's done. It's hard to look at fabric and imagine it in the room...and I really never thought I'd choose such blues and greens, but I surprise myself sometimes. We'll see how it all comes together!
Also - CC does these awesome diaper bags that she's sold before...so she's going to make me one with a matching changing pad...she told me to pick out any fabric I wanted - and I saw this and HAD to get it...it's totally groovy and very much my style. I actually thought hubs and my mom would hate it - but they both ended up liking it after all. I figured who cares what gender my baby is - I'm the one carrying the bag, so I'm getting what I want! hehe

I'll definately take pictures as it all comes together.
My parents have the cradle all cleaned up and ready for me...mom is going to make bumper pads for that too - slowly but surely we're getting ready for this little arrival.
And now, I have a question I want people to weigh in on:

You know how they sell that Dreft laundry detergent at the store? I know that's for babies and you're supposed to be all carefull and wash all the babies clothes seperately and with the special detergent. A big part of me feels like this is just a gimmick and a rip-off...at what "magic age" do you stop using that detergent and just use the regular stuff?
Assuming my kid doesn't have sensitive skin or something - I'm assuming I'm fine with saving pennies and using the same ole, same ole...thoughts? anyone??

Belly Pic

2008-01-09T21:13:00.003-08:00

(Originally posted Thursday, December 20, 2007)

*disclaimer*
with me being as picky as I am these days about pictures - you all who've requested belly pics are damn lucky that I'm putting this huge lumbering body of mine in front of a camera at all. I know, I know - later on in life I'll be GLAD I took pregnant pictures...but today, I'm having one of those days where I don't feel at all cute and pregnant, but more like a hippo stuck in the mud.
That being said - here I am at 24 weeks:

One of these days I need to figure out how to make a seperate page for these pictures so I can gradually see myself grow bigger, all at once...ha!
I'm feeling tons of kicks lately - and hubs has yet to feel any of them. I'm going with the theory that he has a "calming affect" on this baby...and so when our kid has a temper tantrum in the future, I'll be passing him/her right on over to hubs so he can take care of things with his soothing/calming nature, hee!

****
So remember how I said we were going through things and sorting and organizing and getting rid of crap? Well, I stumbled upon a bin of childhood stuff...and made a discovery that I have COMPLETELY forgotten about for oh...17 years or so?
Now this might sound crazy to some of you - but back when I was about 13, I remember being at what was called Thrifty's Drug Store. Now it's a Rite Aide - which we seem to have every 3 blocks (hate). I remember I came across what I thought were the coolest baby bottles ever - and since they were limited edition, I decided to buy them and store them away for that wonderous time in my life when I had a baby of my very own.
I must have stuck them into a box along with other childhood belongings and just ended up moving them from house to house where they would get shoved under a bed until I finally rediscovered them almost 20 years later.
I was SO stoked when I found them because I still think they're super cool...and I will definately be using them for my critter...check em out - old school soda bottles!

This pic came out crappy - but it's a welch's grape juice bottle...The SPOT! You never see the Spot anymore... So anyway - while it's kind of embarrassing to admit that I bought BABY BOTTLES when I was 13 years old...and now I'm 30 years old and kind of freaking out about this whole baby thing....I'm quite stoked that I had such forethought as a kid. I can almost guarantee if you'd asked me back when I was 13, how old I thought I'd be when I had my first child - I sure as hell wouldn't have said 30. 30 probably seemed OLD to me at 13. How wrong I was eh? Course I was wrong about pretty much EVERYTHING at 13...just don't tell my mother that I actually admit to that :)

Aches and Pains

2008-01-09T21:13:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted Monday, December 17, 2007)

The nesting is in full force people! Yesterday, hubs and I got up and got dressed - he started laundry and decided to tackle the baby's room himself (what a great little "Coco the houseboy" he would be eh?) - and I headed outdoors to tackle all the yardwork that's been staring me in the face for the last few months. My brother decided to take our mower and see if he could fix it...he also was nice enough to bring HIS mower over and mow my lawn for me - how awesome is he???
We have this brick area in the front of our house where I had several barrels of tomatoes and squash growing over the summer. That whole area had become completely overrun with weeds and just STUFF that somehow gets piled out there. Well, the veggies were pretty much done for the season, so I yanked those suckers out and weeded the heck out of that side of the house. I also pruned this massive bush of daisy's that had become huge and mostly dead. I then weed wacked along the side of the house and along the fence line.With all the bending and pulling and sweeping and raking I did...I was HUUUUUURTING last night. Thank GOD for hubs because I sat on my balance ball and he massaged my back until his fingers gave up. I have to say though, our yard looks so much better. I didn't get everything done - but it definately made a noticable difference. I actually really love to work out in the yard, but I just don't have the time needed to keep it up...especially now that it gets dark so early.
At around 1pm yesterday - my 2 year old neice Gracie was dropped off, along with Jasper the dog, who is always good for Georgia to play with. The first thing Gracie wanted was "piggies" - (which means pigtails), and then we headed back outside and she "helped" me in the yard and also kept the dogs busy with balls and toys. All in all, a great day - and since Gracie was so good, we headed for her favorite thing...Jamba Juice where I got to slam some fruit and satisfy my craving all at the same time.
Georgia was so exhausted after running around the yard all day, she came in the house at about 5pm and passed out. She got up to eat dinner, but then turned around and went right back to bed until 7:30am this morning. Gotta love a worn out puppy!
This morning I felt like an 80 year old woman between the stiff back and the sore legs, and what's with all this PELVIS PAIN?? My doctor says it's normal, and I know I shouldn't complain because it's only downhill from here....but DAMN this kid gives me some aches and pains I never knew I would have. I keep forgetting that I can't just go out and weed the yard without paying for it later...Hubs and I have gone through almost ALL our clothes and blankets and sheets and we have tons of stuff to take to Goodwill. I'm in this mode where I just want to get rid of stuff. I feel a sudden need to be as organized and clutter free as possible before this baby comes. We've been going through drawers and boxes and closets trying to PURGE (ha) ourselves of too much crap. Since we don't have a garage where we live now, this is ultra important because our storage shed is very small - and it's reserved for things like tools and camping equipment, so everything else is either in bins in closets, or in bins under the beds. One would think that a 3 bedroom house would be plenty big enough for 2 adults and a baby, and yet we kinda feel like we're bursting at the seems a little bit. The clothing situation has been interesting for me because I now have multiple sets of clothes:
Pre-pregnancy clothes
Pre-pregnancy clothes that I don't fit into, but swear I will someday
Maternity clothes
Maternity clothes that I've already grown out of, but need to store somewhere
Maternity clothes that don't fit yet - but will in the coming months
Thank goodness I've been given hand me down maternity clothes and only had to buy a few things because that can get seriously expensive. Especially since I'm not one of those itty bitty types who can just wear big stretch pants and a giant t-shirt. I need that extra material to cover this belly!

This morning at work, my boss noticed how huge I'm getting and so we had a good long chat about what will be happening when this baby comes.Something in my mind says that I'm just not cut out to be a stay at home mom. Alot of people tell me I'll change my mind once I hold this baby in my arms - and who knows, I've never done this before, they might be right. But knowing myself...I just never saw myself as the type to let my husband be the sole provider while I stay home and take care of things. I've always thought I'd be a better mom if I at least worked part time, so I had something else to focus on...something that's just mine...not to mention contributing to our finances.So when we found out we were pregnant - I really wasn't sure what was going to happen with my job. I knew I didn't want to work full time and put my baby in daycare all day every day - mainly because the cost would most likely cancel out my paycheck. I had hoped that I could work part time and do part time daycare. Granted, it would mean we'd have to pinch our pennies and be more careful - but at least I'd be working AND staying home for the most part.I kind of dreaded having "the discussion" with my boss about this whole subject - but one day he sat down and asked me straight up what would be ideal for me. I told him that IDEALLY - I'd love to be able to work from home and come into the office a couple days a week...and still make my full time wages. I kind of laughed because I honestly didn't think that would be possible - I just KNEW we'd have to hire someone to cover for me and I'd have to train and go through that whole process.But I was wrong.I honestly am not sure how I could have lucked out anymore than I have as far as a job situation goes. Basically - my ideal situation - is going to be my reality after this kid shows up.I'll be taking some maternity leave, but then I'll be working from home...and going into the office twice a week - and BRINGING THE BABY WITH ME.How insane is that? They're even going to make room for a playpen and whatever else I need so I can be working in the office and doing my stuff and have the baby right there with me the whole time.I realize this is not going to work forever, and at some point I'll most likely have to pay for daycare or a sitter on those days...but in the meantime, I don't have to worry about it.I don't think I can fully express how grateful I am that my boss is doing everything he can to make this a managable situation for me. He thinks it's important that I have my "mommy and baby time" as well as being able to continue with my job...which is what I really want to do so our finances will stay relatively the same.I know it's going to be hard to work full time and be a full time mom...but I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to do both and have full support of not only my boss, but all my coworkers as well. My boss is very in tune with the fact that babies are unpredictable and he keeps telling me that I can't expect for my days to all go smoothly - so he's making arrangements so I can work around my unpredictable days and not be stuck in my normal 8 to 5 schedule.Seriously - do I have the best boss ever???? I'm flabbergasted by the whole thing - and yet I'm filled with an overwhelming sense of calm as far as the whole thing goes. I just know that it's all going to work out, and I'm determined not to slack off and take advantage of this opportunity.

Unexpected Gifts

2008-01-09T21:12:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted December 13th, 2007)

My sweet hubby - works as a courier for a certain popular delivery service (not sure if he'd want me to say WHICH company...but think arch rival of the brown clad folks) and the one part of his job that he really loves is his customers. He has his favorites of course - and apparantly he must talk alot about impending fatherhood because we've gotten GIFTS from people...isn't that just crazy? Complete strangers have bought things for my baby - I don't even know how to express how cool that is. Gotta love small towns!
Some of his customers bought us our first sleeper outfit, appropriately neutral so I can put either a wee baby boy or a wee baby girl into this cozy little item:

I just realized what an awful picture I took of that thing...in actuality, the outfit is light green and soooo snuggly - this picture doesn't do it much justice I'm afraid.
(Note to self: Still need to write thank you note for this item) Also - another one of his customers was nice enough to knit our baby's first blanket!

(Note to self: must also write thank you note for this item - get on it girl!)

I just can't get over how neat it is that hubby's customers have gone out of their way to do this for us...it's one of those warm fuzzy type things that if I really thought hard about - I'd probably cry. Course I cry at the drop of a hat these days, so that's nothing new.
Also - while cleaning the baby's room last weekend, I stumbled upon our very first purchase for this kid. We bought these only a couple weeks after getting the positive result...or 6 positives as it may be. I really wanted red ones, but black will have to do for now :)

so tiny! Lord help me when it comes to itty bitty shoes...I just can't help myself. And in my house, high top converse are a must (and quite comfortable for pregnant people who are supposed to wear relatively flat shoes...even if they do make me look like I'm 15 years old).

And now I must boast about my hubby because while downloading these pictures - I found some from Thanksgiving that I forgot to share. Hubby's PIE!

VOILA - he did all that lattice work himself...and I must say, I'm so impressed!

Belly Brain

2008-01-09T21:11:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted Wednesday, December 05, 2007)

Yes, the crib is in the house...no it's not out of the box...and yes, I'm ignoring it altogether.I'm not quite sure what my malfunction is - but when my mom found out about my reaction, she laughed and laughed. She keeps calling me and saying "have you recovered yet?" and then have to wait until she's done laughing herself silly. Obviously, she's getting a huge kick out of this whole thing.
She recently told me she'd never even HELD a baby before she had my brother and that just blows my mind. I mean, I know how to take care of a baby - I worked at a daycare for 4 years! I have neices coming out of my ears who I have spent hours and hours babysitting! I'm no stranger to diaper leaks and teething and crying for no reason and why there items like "peepee teepee's" that actually exist. But still - this whole baby thing weirds me out. Here my mom had no experience whatsoever and I have a feeling she probably didn't freak out when the crib showed up. I can only think it must be that whole Life Changing part that makes me frown with worry. Either that or the whole "watermelon coming out of your nostril" example that has been brought up to me on more than one occasion.

The yard is still only half weedwacked, mainly because when I was finished silencing the voices, I looked down and realized that pretty much everything I'd just hacked away at was now stuck to the front of my pants and that just gave a whole new meaning to business casual. I am now at my brother's mercy...hopefully he can fix our sick lawn mower so I can finish the job the RIGHT WAY instead of using my overgrown yard as an emotional crutch.I have been unnaturally forgetful and clumsy lately. People around me call this "Placenta Brain"...but I prefer to avoid the word Placenta if I can help it - so in my house, it's Belly Brain.
The following occurances are evidence of this tragic condition, so I feel I must warn my family and friends or anyone who will be in my general vicinity anytime soon:

1 - I am on a constant hunt for my car keys, my cell phone, my sunglasses, and my SHOES.
2 - I have forgotten to put gas into my car on so many occassions that I'm becoming a pro at coasting into gas stations on fumes.
3 - I drop or fumble something at least twice a day...it's like I all of a sudden have the inability to actually GRASP something.
4 - My boss will sometimes ask me a question and I'll stare at him dumbfounded trying to figure out what in the hell he's talking about, and then it'll hit me like a mack truck and I'll go "OH!" and he just laughs and shakes his head.
5 - Several times a day I'll answer the phone at work and forget the name of our company - so there will be moments of "dead air" until I figure it out.
6 - I've locked myself out of my office twice.
7 - I've also gone all the way down to my car to leave for lunch or to go home and either not had my keys - or not had my purse...more times than I care to admit.
8 - I FORGOT to feed my dog.
9 - I have had mornings where I will try on clothes and I swear OVERNIGHT they suddenly don't fit and I get so frustrated about my ever-growing girth that I will stand there in my skivvies and cry. Not that I know WHY exactly I'm crying, but there it is.
10 - Last night - I had a cat fully stretched across my belly sleeping, and after a few minutes I forgot he was there and I rolled over which made him promptly slide off me and land right on top of the dog's bed, who proceeded to bark and scare my poor cat half to death. Hubs slept through the whole thing.
11 - I have gone to the store twice with the intent of getting certain items...but walked out without them. Hubs finally had to go for me so we could actually have MILK in our fridge instead of Nutter Butters in our cupboard.
12 - Yesterday, my 2 year old neice had to remind me 3 times that she'd asked for juice.
13 - I have found myself mindlessly watching the Spanish channel more than once.
14 - I have forgotten to lock the doors, close windows, turn of lights. My husband considers this a "breach of security" and ends up following me around the house before bed, checking doors and making sure I've turned off the oven before we're either murdered or burned to a crisp in our bed. I've assured him on many occasions that I'd probably be up peeing or popping Tums anyway so I could interfere, no problem.
15 - about 594281 times a day, I have to remind myself that the thumping and jumping in my belly is an actual BABY and not an alien creature that's about to burst through my stomach.I think that about sums up the Belly Brain so far - I have a feeling it's going to get much more interesting as time goes on.

Silencing the Voices

2008-01-09T21:10:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted Wednesday, November 28, 2007)

Today, I left work at lunchtime and headed home, I pulled into my driveway, I got out of the car and said hi to my sweet puppy over the fence, I headed towards the front door, and then I completely stopped in my tracks.There....on my front porch....was a big giant box that said CRIB on it.I staredI fidgetedThen I walked PAST the box, unlocked the door, and headed into the house where I proceeded to say a quick hi to my kitties, and head directly through the house and out the back door where I grabbed our weed whacker and showed that yard who's boss.
Seriously you guys - I WEED WHACKED ON MY LUNCH HOUR. Who does that?I was silencing all those voices in my head who were cramming my thoughts with
"holy crap, there's a crib on the porch"
"that's where babies sleep"
"that's where YOUR baby will sleep"
"good LORD you're having a BABY"
"and it's getting bigger by the day"
"and it's going to COME OUT OF YOUR VA----"
which is usually where I would shake it off and proceed to whack the hell out of those weeds. I have to say, it was rather comforting in a way...and I'm sure my yard thanks me...and my dog who has been sleeping and lounging in the green jungle out there. Sometimes I can't even see her we've let the grass get so high! (our lawn mower is broken...note to self - must get fixed before I wear out the weed whacker).Honestly though - I have to worry about this whole motherhood thing...since I can hardly seem to face the BIG BOX ON MY PORCH without going off the deep end and spending my entire lunch hour doing yard work. Pretty soon we'll get a high chair and some baby bottles and hubs will come home to me working on the car...or painting the house...or some other such oddball thing.

*******
In other news - we looked at another house last night. I'm not QUITE sure what to think about it just yet. It's definately a good price. It's also HUGE with tons of storage (helloooo walk-in closet the size of my current bedroom! and helloooo linen closet that I could probably move a family of 5 into!). BUT - it's part of a "community" which means there are HOA's involved which I HATE. And, it's not exactly in a town we were super interested in moving to. It was of course dark when we got there, so I definately think we need to go back during the day and check it out again. We lucked out and ran into the neighbor who was super cool and he gave us the scoop on the area and the other neighbors. He's lived there since 98 and it seems the HOA have only gone up about $40 total throughout the years...which is somewhat comforting. He also said they take very good care of the places - paint and landscaping and maintenance is all done regularly, so that's good to know. I'm still not sure that we'd be comfortable paying $130 a month extra for someone to do that stuff though, you know? Plus, we'd have to find out what exactly the rules are because those associations can have some real interesting and deal breaking rules! Also - it's a foreclosure, and the family who lived there before had some...well....interesting decorating ideas. The entire bottom floor except for the bedrooms is covered in this hideous blackish brownish grayish UGLY tile - it's so horrible I can't even begin to describe it. The carpet in the bedrooms and on the stairs all needs to be ripped out - so basically covering all that tile and redoing all the rooms (3 bedrooms) would cost a pretty penny. Plus, the whole thing needs to be painted inside. One of the rooms is totally garish and has a big "G-Unit" painted on one wall (WTF?) not to mention the wall colors themselves just being really poorly done and waaaaay too bright and circusy for our taste. The master bedroom is painted this super dark forest green - but they didn't finish, so it's just....bad. All the baseboards and pretty much everything else in the house needs to be repainted - I think that might help alot actually.The cabinets in the kitchen are painted a horrible chocolate brown and none of the knobs match up which we thought was weird. Also, it needs a new stove and the countertops need to be ripped out because there is a big burn/melty mark on one side, and it's just not our style either.The biggest project would be the downstairs bathroom. There is a full bath downstairs - and full bath upstairs. BOTH rooms are tiled...and I mean like the WALLS ARE TILED. (wierd? I've never seen that before, but maybe it's a popular thing?) All the way up to the ceiling. And OY VEY I'm not sure what those people were thinking. The tiles are all crooked and they chose this horrible dark pink grout and it's EVERYWHERE...my gosh it's so bad we just started to laugh. If anything we got some serious amusement. But knowing that we'd have to rip all that out and probably put up new sheetrock and start from scratch is a pretty daunting task.We figure there's probably a good $10-$15k worth of work that needs to be done to the place to get it the way we'd want it. Which is something to think about..along with the HOA's being added to our mortgage.I don't know...I think I need to see it again...and we need to crunch some numbers. BUT - the price is super low, and it's definately livable - we've have to tackle the projects slowly while we lived there because I don't think we could afford to do it all at once and certainly not before we moved in. Also, like I said - it's huge. It's about 300 square feet bigger than our rental house now AND it has a 2 car garage (we don't have a garage at all where we are now). Plus, it's got a good sized fenced yard with plenty of room for the pooch and a garden for me. I don't care for the layout, or the fact that it's 2 stories...but hey, maybe a good way to burn some calories? haha!eeeeeeeeek I just don't know. This whole house thing is a crazy thing to think about...especially in this market. It's hard to know if you should jump on a good deal or if you should hold out for something better to come along. I need a crystal ball right about now please!

Reality Stick

2008-01-09T21:09:00.001-08:00

(originally posted Wednesday, November 21, 2007)
In 4-5 days, we will be getting a delivery to our house....a big reality check kind of delivery. Observe: WHOA...hey there - is that a CRIB? and it's going to be in MY HOUSE? Whaaaaat?
Last night I cruised around online to see if I could find any bedding I liked...and I couldn't. I'm discovering that it's really hard to find neutral bedding that I like. Seems like everything neutral is either bugs or frogs or bees or plaid - all of which are too themelike for my taste. Can I just get something SIMPLE please? I was talking to my mom and saying how I might just have to go with solid color or something and she mentioned that my sister in law wants me to pick out some fabric so she can make me some bedding. That's so awesome because I'm sure I'll be able to find SOMETHING that's not all cutesy and gender specific.
The guest/baby's room is a MESS - I've decided my project for Friday will be cleaning and organizing that room...I have a bookshelf that my dad made when I was little - a desk that I had growing up which I will be using as a changing table - and a dresser that belonged to hubby...all of which need to be sanded and painted - so perhaps we'll get started on that this weekend before I get too big and unwieldy. I also have a ton of hand me down baby stuff to go through and organize, and the closet desperately needs to be cleaned out. I'm not sure how we let that room get so out of hand, especially since it's visible from the living room - but somehow it becomes our "catch all" room. Christmas presents for the kids that need to be wrapped and set aside are piled on the bed - blankets that need to be washed, folded and stored - maternity clothes that I still need to sort through and try on - I'll feel so much better when I can look in that room and be happy with what I see instead of sighing and walking back out, not wanting to deal with the mess.
Our Thanksgiving this year should be somewhat relaxing and unstressfull...we've got certain dishes we're bringing and nobody is overdoing it. I'm so looking forward to having four days off and getting some stuff done around the house! Our poor yard has been really neglected lately since it's getting dark so early. Must get out there and spruce things up.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone :)

Time to come clean...

2008-01-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

Man, do I know how to neglect a blog or WHAT?
I'm totally fine, and I so appreciate all of you checking in. Here's the thing...I have another blog. BUT - it's a blog that my friends and family read - and I'd much rather keep my weight loss blog anonymous. I just think it's less messy that way and avoids uncomfortable conversations - not to mention that I've bitched about my in-laws and talked about our finances on here as well.

I've been posting on my other blog, so I'm going to transfer those posts over here to get you all up to date. Once this baby is born, I'll be back in the weight loss game, so I'll be posting on both.
I'm so sorry to have lagged - seriously, I can't believe how fast the time has gone by with this pregnancy, it's amazing.

So be prepared - I'll be transferring things over mostly tomorrow :)

New Craving Alert...

2007-11-21T09:14:00.000-08:00

For the last couple of months, I've been eating apples like crazy...I probably average 4 or 5 a day. But yesterday, I discovered a different fruit that my body wants to shove into it's piehole at an alarming rate.
Clementine Tangerines....you guys, I ate EIGHT of them yesterday. Who eats 8 tangerines? seriously, it's a sickness. I stopped at the store this morning and picked up another entire bag and they are sitting here by my desk going "you know you want me".
The good news is that they are a bit labor intensive, especially because I hate all that spongy white stuff, so I spend several minutes meticulously peeling all that crap off. So in reality - it takes me a good 3-4 minutes to peel one, and about 2.5 seconds to cram the whole thing in my mouth. Can you imagine how much trouble I'd be in if I were craving..say...peanut M & M's?
I can't even begin to mention how grateful I am that I don't care about stuff like that - bring on the tangerines! hee! (not great for heartburn issues, but part of me thinks it's worth it)

Our Thanksgiving this year should be pretty mundane...we usually try to drive up and visit with Hub's family on the weekend - but with the gas prices being what they are, and since we were up there last month for our Colorado trip...we decided to just stay here. In my family, we split all the food up amongst everyone so ONE person doesn't have to do all the cooking.
I'm in charge of sweet potatoes because apparantly they were a big hit last year...also hollandaise sauce for the asparagus my mom is roasting (seriously I love that sauce so much I could just pour it into a bowl and eat it with a spoon)...hubs is in charge of making two pumpkin pies and one fruit pie, thank goodness he likes to bake - and we're bringing a couple of bottles of apple cider since champagne is out for me this year (SOB).

Last night I made a big ole pot of my favorite butternut squash/leek soup. A big bowl of that last night for dinner with a dollop of sour cream and some green onions sprinkled over the top. It's such a nice wintery soup...very filling and very healthy, great source of veggies for me and the critter. Hubs even likes it which is amazing because he's not much of a veggie guy.

I've got the next two days off and I'm really looking forward to getting some stuff done around the house - the yard is in serious need of attention, and the guest room/baby's room is a MESS. All the presents we've been buying ahead of time for Christmas have been piled in there, along with blankets that need to be washed...suitcases and clothes leftover from our trip...all kinds of hand me down baby stuff that I need to sort through and organize. I can't even open the closet in there without facing a wall of stuff. Hubs has to work on Friday - so I think that'll be a good day for me to crank up the radio and bust it out....surprise him with a nice clean guest room!

Must get back to work now - and those tangerines are calling me - Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow everyone :)

20 weeks and halfway there!

2007-11-20T10:56:00.001-08:00

I had my 2nd ultrasound yesterday...hubs couldn't get the time off - so my mom went with me which she was THRILLED about.

These first two pictures are 3-D where you can sort of make out the face and our critter has it's little fists all balled up in a boxing stance!

and this third one is a regular picture - a good profile shot... Everything looks good - there's a wee bit of extra fluid in the kidneys, but they don't seem too worried about it. I'll be going back for another ultrasound in 2 months just to check on them.

It's so strange because I can look at these pictures and my brain knows that this is my kid - but I can't really comprehend emotionally that it's my kid. The pictures and the pregnancy all seem very disconnected to me. I wonder if I'll feel that way when I actually give birth...like I'll hold my baby, and it'll be completely seperate from the pregnancy part? I don't know - like I've said before, it's very difficult to wrap my head around this whole process.

Lately, it seems that I've just suddenly popped out...my belly I mean. Since my first belly pic was 4 weeks ago - I decided to take another on at 20 weeks - and WHOA was I surprised again to see myself from a different angle.

Dang Chang - that's a BELLY I got goin on!

Let's compare shall we?

16 weeks and 20 weeks

okay that's just wierd.

And I'm only going to get bigger from here!

The sleeping thing has really been as issue for me lately - all the tossing and turning and peeing and heartburn problems have taken it's toll. My morning walks have landed by the wayside in the interest of getting in at least an hour and a half more sleep. I know it's only going to get worse, so I need to stop complaining and appreciate the amount I'm getting right now. I've been feeling alot of movement lately - thumps and bumps and flutters. Everytime I grab hubs hand to see if he can feel it, it stops. We've determined that this kid is ALREADY a stinker...as we imagine him/her hunkered down in there snickering and trying to be really still while we feel around. I think it'll be a while before he can actually feel anything, in the meantime it's like my own little secret .

I got my weekly update from babycenter yesterday and it says the kid is now about 10 inches long and I should have gained about 10 pounds by now. I guess I'm doing well since I've only gained 1.9 pounds so far. I expect to start packing on pounds any time though because the baby is growing! As long as I'm eating healthy and trying to get in exercise when I can, I'm hoping it'll be okay. We'll see!

Looking forward to a short work week - WOOO! Happy Thanksgiving :)

Interesting process

2007-11-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

So...this whole thing has been veeeery interesting. Last Thursday we put in an offer...granted, it was a low offer and we fully expected a counter offer. We DID NOT expect for the seller to counter offer at a full $6000 above her asking price. She also stated that she wanted to keep the window treatments, she wanted another $500 deposit, and she wanted to extend escrow to 50 days which means closing would occur on December 20th.

Her realtor sent a ridiculous cover letter about how great it would be for us all be settled in our homes before Christmas...riiiiiiight - because moving FIVE DAYS before Christmas is everyone's dream! She also stated some other ridiculous things trying to tell us that we'd be SAVING money by accepting this offer - and she of course magically had to mention that she had a showing the following day, so they were giving us 24 hours to respond - and by the way, we should of course jump on this offer before someone else does. BWAAAAHAHAHA! The house has been on the market since June...so I'm thinking it's pretty lame that she tried to pull that crap because we're not falling for it. She also spelled my name wrong which pissed me off...perhaps unreasonably - but hey, I'm pregnant, I'm allowed to bitch about stupid stuff - besides - our names were only on the offer papers about 78394 times, so that tells me her agent is just careless. It's crazy to us that someone would actually go above their asking price in a market like the one we're in right now - either she's not THAT motivated to sell, or she's getting baaaaad advice from her realtor.

Anyway - we talked about it...and met with our realtor the following morning to submit a counter offer. We decided to let her keep the stupid window treatments, and we offered a full $10,000 over our previous offer...which is right in the middle of what we wanted to pay and what she wanted to sell it for. Upon advice from our realtor, we decided to keep the deposit the same and not increase it. We figured this was a pretty fair offer - but we were so disheartened by her first counter, that we weren't feeling very secure about the whole thing.

She got back to us the following evening with an even MORE ridiculous offer. She apparantly decided she wants to keep the washer and dryer that were included with the original offer, she was also insisting on another $500 deposit...and if we do that, then she'd be SO KIND as to drop her price a whole $1000 - which is still $5000 above her asking price! Basically we felt like we'd be in the same position as her first offer, but without a washer/dryer....this lady is looney tunes!

So at this point - we've decided we're not going to play her stupid games - and "screw her". We'll just see if her house sells since she's driving such a hard bargain.

This house apparantly was not meant to be, and while we're disappointed because it was very exciting to think about getting that house before the baby comes...we're just trusting that when the right house comes along...we'll know and we'll get it - whether it's 2 months from now - or a year from now :)
At least now we KNOW all about this process and it won't be such a daunting task next time.

Big Decisions...and a LONG post!

2007-11-08T21:28:00.000-08:00

Over the last several weeks - our minds have been an absolute whirl of activity. In between all the baby stuff we've had to think about, we've also been immersed in the exhausting world of finances.
You see, back at the beginning of summer...we spoke with a mortgage lender just to see where we stood on purchasing a house. Since we got married, we'd been telling ourselves there was just no way we could do it...it's too expensive here. We took a few trips out of state to less expensive areas and despite our best efforts - even going so far as to meeting with realtors, we just never found a place we felt was right. We found many possibilities...but we always told ourselves we'd much rather put our roots down here. Little by little, the housing market began to taper off, and slowly the prices were moving down. So last July, after talking to this mortgage lender...we walked out of her office feeling alot less discouraged and like we actually COULD possibly buy a house someday in the future. We decided to start living as if we were making the lowest house payment quoted - just to see if we could do it. The nice part was realizing that we could make that payment without seeing much of a dent in our current finances...little changes here and there in our spending habits made it possible without being overwhelming and feeling like we have to mac and cheese every night. The affordability of an actual house wasn't even a thought...because we knew we'd most likely have to buy a condo or a townhouse first. The problem was finding one with a big enough yard for Georgia...and one with low enough HOA's to make it worth our while because those fees can really put a damper on a mortgage payment. It was CHALLENGING to say the least - we looked at condo after condo and tried to decide what we could live with and what we were willing to sacrifice to be homeowners and get our foot in the door. It was slightly disheartening to look at certain places that we were really run down and needed alot of work - or just had a balcony or a tiny little concrete pad for a yard. I always imagined my puppy looking at me through the glass with sad eyes because she didn't have a place to play...or I'd imagine our future kid not having any outdoor space to play and burn off energy. I think the outdoor space was one of the things we struggled with the most during this house hunting process. We also looked at a few mobile and modular homes thinking that might be a better option....but the interest rates are so much higher on those because they depreciate in value - so we really didn't feel like that would be a good investment. The few prospects we actually liked and were willing to live with would usually end up being discarded because the HOA fee's were so high...and of course there's no cap on those, so we could move in and they could raise it $100 a month and there wouldn't be a thing we could do about it. We kept an open mind and from time to time we'd scan the MLS and the real estate papers more so because it was fun and exciting to imagine the time when we could actually buy something of our very own.
Then I found out I was pregnant - and we figured this whole house buying thing was gonna have to go on the back burner for a while until we knew what would happen with my job and our expenses, etc, etc.Back during our initial search, we stumbled upon a tiny little house about 5 blocks from where we are now...it looked so cute from the outside, but it was waaaaay over our price range, the pictures online didn't thrill us, and the location wasn't ideal...so we shrugged it off. Well, over the last few months...we noticed that little house was still on the market and the price kept going lower and lower. Finally, in September, it dropped into our price range - and we toyed with the idea of it, but didn't pursue it thinking about the size and location. About a month ago, we noticed it STILL hadn't sold...and so we decided to call a realtor and at least see if we could go look at the inside - figuring it wouldn't hurt. Turns out - we walked in and fell in love with the place. It was built in the 50's, has been immaculately well kept and has all new dual paned windows and new doors and new paint and it's just a cute as can be. The owner still lives there, so it's always interesting trying to imagine your own furniture and things in a space....but we both realize that it feels alot bigger than it looks from the outside and while a 2 bedroom - 1 bath house overall is alot smaller than what we currently live in - we knew that we'd have to downsize if we were going to invest our money in something. The bedrooms seem bigger than the ones we have now - and it's got a YARD - all fenced off and everything! The yard itself is not huge - but it's plenty big enough for our pup and including the side yards, we feel comfortable that it will fit our needs. I could even have a garden back there!We went home filled with such excitement about this house....but in the interest of not wanting to be blinded by the cuteness of the place - we decided it would be a good idea to have my parents come by and see it for themselves. We knew if anyone would tell it to us straight - it would be them...especially my dad, who can be brutally honest when it comes to financial decisions and structures and resale potential.So the following day, I met my parents with the realtor and they took a walk through the house. I was very quiet - just waiting to hear their opinions as they VERY thoroughly looked through every room - dad went outside and inspected everything he could, and mom was inside opening closets and cupboards and drawers.We stood in the backyard and looked at the house....and I tentatively said "well??? what do you guys think?"
and they said "it's fabulous...it's a good deal....it's definately going to appreciate in value...if you can buy this house - DO IT"
I couldn't believe it - I honestly expected a barage of negative comments, but they LOVED the place!In fact, after I got back to work - they called me and said "so did you put in an offer yet?"HA!So - we decided to start seriously "shopping for mortgages". Now, 3 weeks ago - neither one of us knew squat about mortgages, so I got some books from the library...and now, after so many meetings with different lenders and asking a TON of questions and providing TONS of financial paperwork and asset information to the lenders, we now know more than we ever thought we'd know about mortgage loans. The first thing we learned is that dealing with mortgage people is alot like dealing with car salesmen...you can't let them talk you into ANYTHING. They want to get the most money possible - but we want to borrow the least money possible.Plus, this whole experience has really taught us to go over our finances with a fine toothed comb and how important being in just the right situation is. Without even realizing it - we've built up a good credit score, obtained a 401k, 3 cars paid in full, and lowered our debt enough to not be an issue with any lenders. We keep hearing that loans are getting harder and harder to qualify for because of all the foreclosures in the area...so we've been simply amazed to be approved with every lender we've spoken with.In between all these meetings and emails and phone calls - we've also looked at other houses, just to keep our options open for more potential drops in price...and of course gone back and forth about making an offer on the first house. We kept thinking:
"we're just about to have a baby...is this the right time?"
"what if the market bombs even more and we could get a better deal somewhere else?"
"what if the closing costs and fees are more than we can handle?"
"are we getting in over our heads?"
"is it smart to jump into all this right before the holidays?"
"Should we wait until we have a bigger buffer/emergency fund built up before we take a plunge like this?"
"what we wouldn't give for a crystal ball right now!"
a million different scenerios entered our heads and we scoped out every possibility both good and bad. It's really important for us to do this on our own without any financial help from family - and while at one point, we didn't think it would be possible otherwise...we've since learned differently and I'm SO GLAD we proceeded to ask questions and talk to a broker to find out exactly where we stand. It would have sucked to borrow money from family and have that hanging over our heads, when it wasn't actually necessary in the first place, you know?

A few days ago, our realtor called - and despite the fact that the seller's agent knows we're interested in the house...the seller again lowered the price - a full $10k lower than her previous asking price. I couldn't BELIEVE it. So every loan we'd been approved for was based on the first price and anything lower will just be icing on the cake!Hubs and I talked and talked - and decided that this kind of deal doesn't come along very often and we should just start the process and see what happens. We met again with the lender we felt the most comfortable with who drew up a loan plan that works in our favor and that we feel comfortable enough with to make an offer.

SO - after so many questions and paperwork and money stuff going through our heads...tonight, we will be meeting with our realtor...signing a deposit check....and making our FIRST offer on our FIRST house.I can't wait to see what happens!We're really lowballing an offer to start with - so we're not expecting her to accept it...but we're curious to see what she counters with.This is all so nervewracking and potentially life changing.

I'm not sure what's harder...deciding on whether or not to buy our first house - or having our first child!

Good News

2007-10-30T16:27:00.001-07:00

Time for an update....and it's alllllll good. After a rather harrowing week of trying not to overthink everything and just trusting God to help us be at peace with whatever the outcome - we finally had our appointment this morning - and everything is great!
The baby is fine - and hubs and I feel about 500 thousand pounds lighter. Turns out, my due date was miscalculated - and instead of being 19 weeks, I'm actually only 17 weeks. They resubmitted our test with the new date, and it was negative...everything is hunky dory. We did have an ultrasound and it was so neat to finally see our critter on screen! Our stubborn genes must already be in effect because the kid wasn't in the right position to see it's face...and despite much poking and prodding, refused to budge except for stretching some arms and legs. In fact, the coolest part of all was when we saw an arm shoot out, splay out it's fingers in jazz hands position...and then give us a thumbs up!
Observe:
Hubs and I looked at each other with wide eyes and of course that's when I started to cry. We just knew right then that our kid was telling us everything is okay. As if to say "Hey you two..quit worryin I'm A-OK in here!"
*big sigh* I tell you what - that is exactly the sign we both needed at that moment. I walked out of that doctor's office and just fell apart...it was like every emotion and worry I'd been stuffing into my "I'm fine" responses just poured out of me at that moment. I feel such immense relief, and like I can go back to enjoying this pregnancy instead of having a cloud of worry hanging over my head. OUR heads. So it's over - and it was nothing to worry about after all. Next time, I will know better and I won't be taking that stupid test. Knowing that I love my baby no matter what - I've realized that ignorance is bliss as far as this test is concerned. I'll rely on the ultrasounds thankyouverymuch.
My new due date is April 6th - and I'll be having another ultrasound on Nov. 19th to see if "the bun" cooperates and shows us some face shots!