SERIOUSLY

This Week.

2010-02-14T15:36:00.003-05:00

So This week has been off the charts insane.

Monday I had to go to the unemployment office. Really sucked cause I missed all the great notes that I would have received in my A&P Class.......................NOT.............Can't freaking understand him anyway. Back to unemployment office, I got there at about 8:30 and left at 10:45 only to be spoken to for about 15mins. Really sad that it took that long because so many are unemployed. Well I have not received unemployment for about 3 weeks now, but I looked this morning and it looks like it will be posted tomorrow. Oh I hope I hope.

Tuesday was the beginning of my Insane baking process, at final count i made 210 cupcakes and 2 cakes. 10 Different flavors. Visit cupcakes-and-more.blogspot.com for pictures.

Wednesday I had class in the morning from 10-12:30 and had plans of more baking and piping cupcakes. But while i was shopping for ingredients my phone rang it was Gabie's School. I knew what this phone call was going to be about but secretly really hoped that it wasn't going to be what I thought it was. BUT it was, Gabie got in a fight! All year she has had issues with a group of senior girls that have been harassing her about everything. Gabie is in 10th Grade! these Ass clowns are in 12th. Really you have nothing better to do with your stupid fucked life than to make another kids life Suck! Outstanding! When the AP (assistant Principal) called he explained what happened i asked to speak to Gabie, and yes My 1st question was "did you Win" 2nd was are you ok. I left Jasper and drove to pick her up. Gabie did really well for herself - it was 2 girls against her. She was able to grab both of them and keep them from hitting her. Good Job Gab-ster. So anyway she the Victim got the same about of time as the other girls 9 days of Alternative School. (the school has been more than aware of this "problem")......

Thursday surprised i cant remember Thursday considering it is Sunday right now! Thursday, Thursday ummmmm Gabie came home from school and while in Alt School the girls were still talking shit all day to her. WOW way to protect my kid. Thanks School! so i called the AP and so did Eric. Not sure who is worse me or him. needless to say he said that he would take care of it.

Friday took a break from decorating and baking my back was beyond DONE! tried to watch Funny People with Adam Sandler. Personally it had it's moments but turned it off. It SUCKED!

Saturday. This was the Day of Baking. I started at 10 and finished at 10. my hand is totally in pain from all the piping now. LOL

Sunday. Church. I love church. Very good Message about Marriage, alot of Amens and Hmmm's. visit www.therevolution.tv to listen to the podcast.

Oh almost forgot We had snow this weekend too."That's all i have to say about that." (thank you Forrest Gump) Snow = Cold = Me a Frigged Bitch! :)

Now I need to study for my A&P quiz tomorrow. And I know I know i am actually praying for the 3-5 inches of Snow just so they close school so I can study longer. SO COME ON SNOW! Cant believe I just said that. GAG!

What is going on?

2010-02-05T09:42:00.002-05:00

Well lots is going on. We got rid of the PT Cruiser this week. We decided that inorder to help save money and stress it was the best thing to do. So we are a one car family now. We will manage. We always do.

G - is going to her 1st dance on Saturday. She has a really cute dress our friend from church Christie is going to do her hair and make up.

B - is B! No teeth and a video gamer.

In-Freaking-Sane

2010-01-14T12:04:00.000-05:00

Could my life be more of a Cluster Fuck than what it is now. So much to do think about and evaluate.

NO Fword Challenge

2010-01-03T17:36:00.003-05:00

Well it is day 3 into the new year really trying hard not to say the fword. However sometimes especially with me habits are hard to break. I've done really good today only 5 so for me that is really, really good... LOL...

End of the Year. Good Bye 2009

2009-12-31T14:02:00.002-05:00

So 2009 is only hours away from ending and a new year will begin. I know that next year is going to be insane. I have a lot that I want to get done. Just the 1st few months are going to be insane. One of my very good friends has noted that I say the Fword too much (out of context)- SO I'm really going to try and be conscious of it and use my big girl words.

I am now in my 3 semester of getting my Prereq's for nursing.. Really excited maybe by the fall I will be enrolled in the Nursing program.. :)

This year i have also started a Home Based Cupcake Business. Some weeks are really good and others are not. But I guess with any company there are ups and downs. I would really love for it to pick up more so that with the income from that and Financial aid I would be ok.

There is so much to say but I just cant put it into words right now. OH I do need to blog more. Just for the Fact of it being a Stress reliever.. Cause Lord knows, I'm the only one that reads this thing..........

Whatever! is all I can say.

2009-08-26T15:46:00.002-04:00

Dear Blogging Diary! What a freaking Mess!

Soo my dad told Eric yesterday that I'm the one that is damaging Gabie & that if it came down to it that I would be the one asked to leave not Eric. he also told Eric that he raised me better than that, and that I'm hard headed.

#1 Really you raised me? Hmm that is news to me. OK well from what i remember is that I would go to school September - June. School would get out normally on a Thursday and I would be on a plane that Saturday to Tennessee to stay with my Grandmother - I would return the Saturday before school started. From where i stand she raised me.. My dad never really talked to me unless it was when my stepmother did not know what to do. She was the one who always disciplined. I You know this is such crap!

Why am i the bad guy! Why am i the one being told that I am damaging Gabie. Screw you! i am so freaking pissed that I don't know what else to so but Whatever. Whatever.

So if we are going based on the actions of Gabie. Is my dad to blame for me getting Pregnant? UM NO, I made those decisions. Gabie is just as much to blame for her own actions, is she rebelling because she is pissed at me? Probably? Am i hard on her? Yes!, I don't want her to struggle like Eric and I have had to struggle. Do i like it when My dad shakes his head in shock that we will be celebrating our 14th year of Marriage on Sept. 5? No, i don't.. that is just one more thing that I can check off in my book of him not being supportive..
You know I thought that moving here would better our relationship but all it has done is made me see that yes my dad is a complete tool bag!. I'm sorry but FUCK DUDE! you have never been a dad. when i went to the Father/Daughter dance in HS that is the only thing that I remember us doing together. Sorry Dad, I'm not the son that you wanted but I am your daughter. Why can you look at me.. I'm right here. Why don't you notice me! Why don't you see me.. I am so made in your image. I am just as blunt, direct and rude as you.. People have always said, you always know where Jenn stands.. Some appreciate that others not so much but they learn to love me. ---Ah! love - lets touch on that. the word LOVE 4 letters 1 syllable..Who would have thought that it would be the hardest word for you to say. You tell my kids that you love them. But what about me! you have never said it without it being said to you 1st. You raised me better though remember! - If you only knew - how hurt I am. Yes my mother Kathy was not the best mom, who checked out when i was 4 and said that she could not be a mom. But you know 16 days before she died she wrote me a 3 page letter that really explained so much to me. I hated her for so many years for YOUR reasons not mine. I wished that she was dead for how she just ditched me and dropped me off at her mothers door step. but it was not until i read her letter did i know that she was sick! Would have been nice to have know that when You were throwing her under the bus. Her Funeral - Still don't know why i did not go to it. But I'm pretty sure that if I were to ask you, you would give your stupid answer - "Don't Worry about it" Well Dad Fuck You! I do worry about it. I am mad as Hell. You would pick Your step children or son-n-law over your own blood. Well Dad. I'm done.. I am so totally done.. Remember a few months ago when you said "I spent $6,600 on a bail bond, $1,500 loan and $30,000 to build out the basement" the $6,000 & $1,500 I'm sorry that you were put in that spot but the I WILL NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR THE $30,000 for the build out of the basement. YOU INVITED ME here! Remember? - Remember you had a dream that God spoke to you and this was what you were supposed to do? Well as God spoken to you lately? Maybe he can deliver a Private Special message to you from me. Hey Mike, YOUR daughter Jennifer has already lost a parent to stupid-ness - she was not able to say sorry for all of the hurt things that she was feeling at the time that I took her from Earth. but Hey your going to lose her too. You invited her to live here only to act like a bill collector and be a watch dog. Eric and her have done a pretty good job of out lasting all the other kids that got married at their age focus on the Good Mike, and be a real Christian, not the one that the stereotypes are built on"
______________________________________________________
Do I feel better? No, No i don't. But Whatever.. You never payed attention Dad. but maybe you will when I move out and Don't let the door hit me in the Ass as i leave...Is that right? I think that is what you say.. but Whatever!.. It doesn't matter. You are always right and I am just that little ant sitting in the corner as you continue to kick me down.. thank you, Thank you Dad. I appreciate all that you have done. Whatever!

PS. I NEVER PROOFREAD JUST TYPE AND PUBLISH..

Hey

2009-06-26T14:23:00.004-04:00

Well I start school in 2 weeks a little scared. Alot has happened in the last month. My 1/2 sister has started to talk to me again. We had a huge falling out about a year ago and asked me to leave her life so I did. And now she is back which is awesome! I hope that we ca be friends cause we have never really been sisters! She lived with our mom and I lived with my dad. After my mom died we became a little bit closer but just couldn't get along.. but any way it is all good now. Church has been odd. I have heard ALOT of stuff and listened to it. but can;t judge bc i was not there and it is not my place too. Hmmm Kids are still out of school my Step bother is coming to visit in August. Actually August 5th, the day after my kids go back to school pretty selfish on my parents part I think? Maybe my kids wanted to play with their cousins my Step brother is bringing his son and my step sisters son.. but Oh Well it's not about me right? So why is it when i say that i cant help but not think about me.. Maybe being unemployed has done it but the Guilt that I have from not working is overwhelming I try and smile but I'm sad. i could type for days but do you really want all of that Dear Diary? I think our Xbox Died we had the Red circle of death today? I left before Eric got mad.. Thanks B you gaming Junkie! LOL...

THE PANTRY JOB

2009-06-25T12:30:00.010-04:00

Here are some Before & After Photos of a Pantry that I organized.
THE BEFORE!

THE AFTER!

Tubing In North Georgia

2009-06-19T18:44:00.003-04:00

Dear Bloggin Diary,

We had so much fun tubing today.. Yes. We may have gotten lost on the way there made some tire marks and a couple of U-Turns, but once we got there it was a lot of fun. It took us about 2 1/2 hours to float down. It was at some dudes house I think.. You just walked out into the backyard? and jump in.. B's as well as my legs are nicely Pink! - Ouch we will feel it in the morning..It was nice to just sit and float along the river with nothing to worry or think about.. Well. That's it.

Mr. James Duncan-

2009-06-15T15:36:00.002-04:00

This is my response to a Gary Lamb/Perry Noble Bashing Website.

http://www.jduncan.com/blog/
on the left click on Lamb..

This guy is a total Tool!

Jenn Wagner-PROUD REVOLUTION ATTENDEE writes:
June 15th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Your comment is awaiting moderation.

What is going on? Gary once said that he used to read all the trash that was said about him because “EVERY IDIOT HAS A BLOG” Well sir, you must have been the idiot that Gary was speaking of. You make assuptions that Elana & Kyle are no longer on twitter or facebook, but yet they are.. Last time I checked you are not a regular attender of Revolution, you have no idea of what you are talking about. Revolution is a Family of People who love eachother and accept all. We do not judge people for the actions that they commit. We forgive and move on for Who are we to Throw that 1st stone. As for you Sir that is all you have done is thrown stones at MY PASTOR Gary Lamb. He is human he and Elana made a very stupid mistake. She was named becuase The Board of Trustees did not want any speculation as to whom he had an affair with. Elana is not innocent either. This note is not to Lift up Gary but to note that 2 people in or not in church did something that they shouldn’t have done..You sir are not any more innocent. You have belittled, made fun of, and have been abusive to all members of Revolution Church as well as those affiliated with us.. Maybe you should come to Revolution and see the Love that is in that Building-THE NON-JUDGING LOVE! We are the most supportive group of individuals. And We forgive Elana & Gary and will not judge them for they are only human…We at Revolution have a Group that Meets every Tuesday Night at 6pm.. Its called CELEBRATE RECOVERY, it is for those with Hurts, Hang-Ups & Habits. You should stop by, You have obvious issues with Bashing Pastors!. it may not be the Old School Southern Baptist or whatever you believe in and no matter how he taught it.. We still have nearly 3000 people every Sunday at Service to Listen.
Get Over Yourself. I hope that All the judgement that you have placed upon others on Earth, will kindly be given back to you in Heaven.. Is what your doing Godly?

I Saw God Today.

2009-06-09T10:55:00.004-04:00

We all know what happened on Sunday and just like he said every idiot has a blog well I am not going to put my feelings into writing because I do not know what I am feeling or thinking. I am going to post some of the Lyrics from George Straits - I Saw God Today - When I think about what happened at Revolution on Sunday this song keeps popping into my head.

I've been to church
I've read the book
I know He's here, but I don't look
Near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I'd just slow down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today.

We have had a HUGE loss, especially to those who were there NOT to hear the word but to hear Gary.. Yes they were "there" for not all the right reasons. but those reasons have made us closer. I just hope that by What Gary did does not send him over the deep end. He is a Man! He's Human! He is forgiven!

Funny T-Shirts Sayings

2009-06-01T00:36:00.003-04:00

Congratulations! You're not Illiterate

I was not aware that the bird is the word

RAWR* *RAWR means "I Love You" in Dinosaur

ALC_H_L (Sometimes Alcohol IS the Answer)

The ONLY thing we have to fear is FEAR ITSELF...and spiders

Smile if You're not wearing undies

I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the Ninja's that hide in the dark

Everyone knows HOVERBOARDS don't work on water

My Other ride is your Mom

Mixed Martial Arts & Crafts (Picture Ninja crocheting)

Single & Disease Free

Doog Nikool (Lookin Good)

Your Epidermis is showing

Make like a tree and Get out of here

MySpace

2009-06-01T00:10:00.006-04:00

Wow so tonight as I am checking HotMail, FaceBook & MySpace. I see that there is a friends request in Myspace.....It is from my 1/2 sister Tara. Lets just say that i was beyond shocked. I did not know what to think. Is it sincere? Is there a motive? is it just an honest Friend Request? But WHY? Why would she want to talk to me.. From what she told me last time was that I was dead to her. We both acted foolishly. Let me back date for you Dear Blog-Diary. A little over a year ago it was the anniversary of my mothers death. My sister was stating that it had been 15 but we argued back and forth about it.. I tried to tell her that I knew exactly the date BC i was pregnant with Gabie at the time so I knew that it was 14 years and not 15 years. No matter what I said she was very adamant about the time frame so I scanned a copy of the police report and posted it on her Myspace page. NOT the best way to handle it but I just wanted her to see the date... I'm sure the think red circle O didn't help HIGHLIGHTING the date of May 1, 1994. I don't know if she was embarrassed but I do know that she was mad and that she sent me a very extremely hurtful email about how I was dead to her and to my nephew along with other words and phrases that I don't care to relive. Maybe this is her way of letting things go..if she talks to me actively and never says nothing of that date I will be totally happy with that.. I know that she had a better relationship with my mom. I still love her.. She is my Blood My little sister...... Tara, I'm sorry for the things of the Past but lets leave them there. We have been Stupid over the 15 years that Mom has been Dead lets not do another 15 of being Angry over bullshit? I love you girl.............

Something Funny On Twitter

2009-05-31T16:45:00.002-04:00

So Twitter is like my favorite Addiction that will not case me to Get Arrested, Cause me to Steal or Cause my family any pain by it's/my actions. HOWEVER Twitter will Make you Laugh, Cry & Wonder what were they thinking..But there is one thing on Twitter that I have recently come across that I read and it just makes me laugh, blush and say Oh! My! Gawd!!...If you know me the very word Sex makes me blush, it is so taboo and should be said under a whispered had but anyway here are some from twitter #3wordsaftersex

In No Particular order
Call A Cab
Happens To Everyone
Same Time Tomorrow
Your Done Already
Batteries Died Again
Is that It
That Cost Extra
Forgot my Teeth
Sh!t the Cops
That's Just Mom
Your Times Up

Can Twitter Now.

Don't know why i found these so funny the other day but 2B Honest now that I have put them in writing.. Not so Funny? Hmmmmm
You Broke It

Graduation Day

2009-05-29T12:43:00.003-04:00

Hello Dear Blog Diary. Today is also the Day that Gabrielle finishes her year as a freshman. My kids are so outstanding I can honestly say that I have 2 excellent children. Gabie is ALOT like me.. Sometimes i think that she is too much like me and she is Too Too Honest but we are working on her delivery. She is funny she has such a temper and does not get along with kids that are her age ... Now older kids she does. she says it is our fault because we always treated her like a little adult. She want to be a forensic anthropologist or be a Micro biologist. She is Stupid Smart.. She makes nearly all A's but NOT Studying. Just think if she study the scholarships would be swimming her way. They will anyway but still just 1% Gabie Please Just Apply yourself.
Today was B's Kindergarten Graduation. I can't believe that he is growing up so fast. Seems like yesterday that he was born.. He is cool totally a typical little brother. He is a Punk...

My Kids.. My kids are hysterical.. I am in the Store the other day and Brendon was the WORSE that I have ever experienced him behaving. I blame on New Medication but anyway we are in the store and I said ONE, TWO ..... Brendon said "WOW, Mommy you can count I'm so Proud of you" Gabie just burst into tears laughing.. Yes those are mine...

Working Again

2009-05-28T15:17:00.002-04:00

Well I have been working Part-time for about a 2 Weeks now.. It has been so much fun and yet so totally frustraing.. Working for Friends I think is totally stressul I am more prone to be anal about the work that I am doing. Not that I am not already but I feel that i find myself letting my OCD get the best of me.. I am so totally not complaining at all. I think that it is a helpful way for me to work though my OCD and that it is ok to write ONE time on a post it and not rewrite it 4 times till I think that it looks pretty.. Yes I have done that before. I left a Note on Preston's Door once that said.. I'm Here Come Find Me.. Jenn. Re Wrote that note 4 times... Stupid but I did it anyway.. Moving on.. Working cracks me up, WHY? becuase I have become stupid int eh 5 months that I have been off. I have forgotten basic tools, etc... but Its all good I am sleeping better who knew that 25 hours of work would make me sleep... Just think when We launch more stuff and I will go to 40 HOLY CRAP! I will be sleeping like a baby again.. I cant wait they have such plans and I am so thankful that they thought of me.

Thanks.

Dear Mom.

2009-05-10T15:12:00.004-04:00

Dear Bloging Diary. Today is Not about you! So Don't get all angry that I am not addressing this note to you.

Dear Mom,

The easiest way for me to explain how I feel it to Quote Staid Its been awhile... So bare with me.

Its been a while Since I could
Hold my head up high
Its been a while
Since I first saw you
Its been a while
Since I could stand
On my own two feet again
And its been a while
Since I could call you
And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that Ive rendered
Have stretched myself beyond my means
Its been a while Since
I could say That I wasnt addicted
Its been a while
Since I could sayI loved myself as well and
Its been a while
Since Ive gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
Its been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when Im with you
And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that Ive rendered
Gone and fucked things up again... again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
But then I go an fuck things up again
Its been a while Since I could
Look at myself straight
Its been a while
Since I said Im sorry
Its been a while
Since Ive seen the way
The candles light your face
Its been a while
I know this painCan I blame this on my father?
He did the best he could for me
Its been a while
Since I could...Hold my head up high
Its been a while
Since I said Im sorry

The last time I saw you I think that I was 12.. I dont know why your gone it will be one of the questions on my list when I get to heaven as to WHY? But I try to move on and deal with it. We were never really close but you did give birth to me so I guess we are close.. You never faught for me but You said it was becuase you were sick..You never called, visited or wrote but yet I love you so much? I blame my dad sometimes becuase all i know is his side of the story so i dont know what is true and what is not.. But what i do know is that you talked about me.. After you died your mother died shortly and many people told me how you were always so proud of me? Hmm? Funny What were my grades? How tall was I? Who did I love? Yes I'm bitter and angry. I would have taken a birthday card once a year and would have setteled. but yet You died in an accident that could have been prevented, drinking, speeding etc. Whatever You died 15 years ago I know eactly where I was when I got that call. Your mother called me I thought it was you since we (Me, You, Tara (1/2 Sister) & Her) all sound the same. She asked if my dad was there I said no he is at work and than she began to tell me how you were killed in a car accident the night before (May 1, 1994). I was 5 months pregnant with Gabrielle at the time and I remember talking to you around my Birthday (4/21) and I was going to tell you about her but I didn't want you to tell my dad now I wish I would have...My Sister and I no longer talk becuase I "proved" her wrong with the date of your Death I'm sorry Mom but she was wrong... I had the Police Report to Prove it.. I was not trying to be a dick and prove her wrong but seriously have your dates correct and if proven wrong lets not send nasty emails like she did... Really?...........................Well I have said what I needed to say.. I cant belive it has been that long. Sometimes I think that I feel you or even see you but all i have are barely a handful of pictures and some momeries.. I loved you but I'll never know How you loved me..Thank You for Giving me Life Just wish you could have been in it..

SugarLand - It Happens!

2009-05-01T15:52:00.000-04:00

I love this song!

Missed my alarm clock ringing
Woke up telephone screaming
Boss man singing his same old song

Rolled in late about an hour
No cup of coffee, no shower
Walk of shame with two differnt shoes on

Now it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing

Life don't go guite lik you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indusputable
The fact is psssh It Happens

My trusty rusty had a flat tire
I borrowed my neighbors Cadillac,
I'd be right back
I'm going down to Wally World

That yellow light turned red too quicly
Knew that truck the moment it hit me
I stepped my ex and his new girl
"Sorry about your neck baby"

But it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing

Life don't go guite lik you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indusputable
The fact is psssh It Happens

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing

Life don't go guite lik you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indusputable
The fact is psssh It Happens

Yeah, the irrefutable, indusputable
Absoluteable, totally beautiful
Fast is Pssssh It Happens

My Cat Grey

2009-05-01T15:41:00.000-04:00

He is really a Dog.. He is really my Rotweiller re-n-car-nate-d into a cat he does everything and anything just like Sampson.................. He's Stupid!

Working One Day At A Time!

2009-05-01T15:19:00.001-04:00

Really needed to blog today or should I say just ANGRY type.... Today is the Anniversary of my Real mothers death. She has been dead for 15 years. Crap it doesn't seem that long but it has. I was 5 months pregnant with Gabrielle when she passed. And I really was excited about re-developing our relationship I was getting older having a baby getting married, blah, blah, blah, an she is killed in a car accident that could have been prevented one less drink, one less lead foot. But again "everything happens for a reason" right? Right? I guess. Maybe God took her from me to protect me? She was sick mentally and maybe that is why. Maybe he took her so that I would do the things that I did but recovered from and am now able to lead a Recovery Group and share my story and help others..I dont know... Sometimes would really like to know what the hell he is thinking or even a clue laid out in the sand..I have a 1/2 sister Tara. We share the same mother different fathers. Last year she quit talking to me becuase she posted that her mom had been dead for 15 years. she was wrong it was 14 years so me being the person that "has" to be right I scanned a copy of the Police report but a BIG GIANT RED Circle on the Date and said See May 1, 1994 MINUS May 1, 2008 Equal 14 years.. Sorry your wrong.. Well needless to say that Pissed her off beyond belief I was not trying to be a bitch and prove her wrong I wanted to tell her that the dates were wrong for her sake... Yea i know Shitty thing to do.. She sent me a very nasty email telling me that I was dead to her and that she never wanted to talk to me again. Everynow and than I get a random email that i am included on not sure if I am meant to be but it is nice to hear from her even if it is indirectly. I was never really close to Tara but sent her an email today telling her that I loved her and was hoping that she would put her anger aside and that we could start talking again. She is the only tie to my mother that I have. But Maybe that is God working in mysterious ways again? Dont know...

My Birthday Week!

2009-04-24T08:28:00.002-04:00

This Week April 20-25

Monday April 20: Made 180 Plus Cupcakes for Revolution Church Celebrate Recovery. I really can't give back and volunteer that way that I used to when I first started attending Revolution Church(RC). So I make Dessert for our Celebrate Recovery(CR) Ministry that meets on Tuesday Nights. I made Raspberry Vanilla with Raspberry Butter cream Frosting. Which was the 1st time that I ever made homemade Butter cream Frosting, it was so good. Because I was attending CR on Tuesday My Mom asked me to come upstairs and celebrate my birthday that night... My Mom made me a Strawberry Ice Cream Cake, it was really good. My presents. My Grandmother FINALLY gave me a quilt that I have been asking for since I was 5 years old. It is a Wedding Ring Quilt that My Grandmother, & Her 2 Best Friends. I tried to Explain to Eric, why it was so special but Alas he is a Dude and doesn't get it.. LOL!

Tuesday April 21: Yeah! Happy Birthday to Me! I'm 33 Today. My Birthday, was pretty much a normal day. I bought myself a Cake Decorating kit so that I can stop borrowing my Mom's, a Wireless card for my Laptop. Which we did the math and we got in 1999 when I worked for Gateway and it was one of the 1st laptops that Had a DVD player in it. But it is still working a little slow but it does its job. And Canvas, 4 pieces of Canvas I am going to have the kids do a art project this weekend to hang on the Wall. I saw it on Jon & Kate, Plus 8 so I'm hoping that I do or they try to do it right.. But no matter what it will look Awesome cause they Both Made it...

Wednesday April 22: Today is Ashley's Birthday. She is my new unexpected friend. If it weren't for CR & Jasper Combat we would still be passing each other with that Oh I know you but don't know you Wave on Sunday Mornings. She has been a true inspiration and lets me be me without borders.. So Miss Ashley Happy Birthday Girl! I had to go Grocery shopping today there was little food in here. Went to Trina's house to learn about this Coupon thing again, She has an insane Binder with Tabs, all sorts of awesomeness....It is only my 1st week of coupon clipping and I still have a lot to learn about this thing but was able to save $46- Very Cool. Thinks Trina for your help... See you again next week.

Thursday April 23: GREY'S ANATOMY IS NOT A REPEAT TODAY! Thank You Lawd! Grey's was not a Repeat that was the Icing on the Cake for a Birthday week for Me... This is my Most Favorite-est show in the world love love love love it. :O) I always write about it as I watch on twitter so it is Super Fun and totally nerdy!

Friday April 24: Today just like everyday this week is about getting a Job, Interview, etc. I am not made to stay at home. It is Frustrating I like my Job as an Assistant I love Everything about it.. It is a position that changes every single day. and that is what makes my job so enjoyable...

Saturday April 25: Has not happened yet but I will be at the Farmer's Market in Jasper Georgia, from 7:30a to Noon. Selling scarves, hats & Accessories...

Ok See You Later...................................................

LOL-It's Just the Little Things

2009-04-08T13:49:00.000-04:00

AGAIN - I'm sorry to whine Dear Diary but you know it is just the little things that bother me. My Name is Jennifer or Jenn for short... been that way um for the last 32 years... However My Mom can not seem to spell it correctly. She spells it Jen, Just one more thing to show that they really don't pay attention.

Tailgating - If you are going to Ride my Ass at least pull my hair! LMAO off Gabie says ewww that is disgusting but SERIOUSLY Really don't tailgate its annoying. Brake Check!

OK Now to be Positive. I really do the life that I have People have been worried about me blogging? Don't know why. With me there is never a question about what I am thinking. You know that I will always give you the most and unbearable truth. Is That so bad? Is it so bad? Why are they worried. I really don't get it? Do you Dear Diary?

One Day W/O Drama!

2009-04-06T14:17:00.001-04:00

One Day I hope to write in this Dear Diary Blog with out Drama or Bitching or Whining? But for right now I will stick to all 3. Life basically blows chunks right now. I just can not seem to do right nor can I seem to feel right. I have been unemployed since January and I have truly, truly hated every single damn minute of it. I loved my job and don't understand why i was hired? They probably knew in August when they hired me that they were going to be letting me go in January due to budget reasons. I was never spoken to, reprimanded or anything. I had always received good reviews and was completely blindsided when i was laid off. I felt like my boss was doing this against his will but unfortunately unlike the last assistant i actually did my work and was in need of more work. I could only surf the Internet so much.. Plus i was just too honest and I think that that is what did me in. I was really confident that this was going to be the position for me. I was hired for my skills and my record was not an issue it was a sigh of relief but yet, God has other plans. Sometimes I really question his judgement when it comes to me. I would really like a road map because all i ever feel like is that right when I get to the top of that Peak, I am on a FAST ADVANCING out of control roller coaster headed straight to the bottom. F*!! if it is not one thing it is another kicking me in the knee making me loose my balance and fall off the face of the earth.

I try to pray and get through my thoughts at night but all i seem to be doing is begging God to forgive me and to help, please, please help me. I also feel that i am in a never ending cycle of disappointment. Never able to get out and when God was handing out Jobs he gave me the job of anger, and no peace. I feel that based on the 10 commandments I have not only punished myself but that I am too being punished no matter how many times i ask for forgiveness.

THE BIG 10..........
ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.' "I never had a other God but I did stop Believing"
TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image' I have 1 tattoo and had my ears and tongue pierced
THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.' Done That
FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.' Does not cussing on Sunday Keep it Holy?
FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.' No, I have not done that
SIX: 'You shall not murder.' No, Murder Conviction
SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.' did that
EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.' Yes
NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.' Does that mean not gossip? if so that yes I have done that too.
TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.' I have does this as well

SO out of the 10 I have committed 8.5 of them... So I am at a loss of words or what to think?