Love and Misanthropy Ltd.

trauma.

2009-03-16T00:31:00.002-04:00

Tonight I laid down to sleep but was kept awake by a sudden flood of memory and emotion.

On a Saturday evening about two months ago my nine-year-old daughter went missing for about four hours.

That night I felt what I can only describe as an excruciating lack of sensation. I knew there was pain, but it could not penetrate the lead that had formed around my insides. My mind was full of images of her afraid and wanting me and these thoughts made me cringe with the most palpable, inescapable fear. Pure, unadulterated amygdala. I didn't feel capable of walking or talking or of ever experiencing any other feeling ever again. It was really quite indescribable in words.

She turned up and was fine, but it took me the better part of a week to get over the trauma. And I thought I had put it behind me...perhaps not. Seems I have to live with these memories.

I feel a little better having written this down tonight, though. Maybe I can sleep now.

emma's birthday trip to animal kingdom.

2009-03-02T22:32:00.011-05:00

Simba goes to the dog park.

2009-03-02T22:23:00.003-05:00

new dylan studio album in spring of 2009 (?)

2009-02-26T20:26:00.002-05:00

Various Dylan forums are abuzz with alarms, rumors, and excursions in the night that a new Dylan studio album is prepared for imminent release, perhaps as early as the end of April `09.

First report was over at Michael Gray's "Bob Dylan Encyclopedia" site, which said in full...

A new Dylan studio album, which, it had been whispered, was tentatively planned for the autumn may now be in the works for earlier release, perhaps even in time to coincide with Bob's upcoming European tour. I can't say more. I would if I could.

Another source,connected to the U.K. promoters who regularly work with Dylan's people, also began posting in the Expecting Rain forums that the new album was indeed fact, and recently (February 12th) claimed that Jeff Rosen (Dylan's business manager, producer of Tell Tale Signs, et al;) brought the new album to London for a private airing for Sony U.K. execs. and that at the end of the listening session, "...Sony staff were told to go and prepare for an end of April release."

And over the weekend, the on-line Dylan Digest from ISIS magazine released the following...

a completely new Bob Dylan album is in the can. Our understanding is that the album was recorded last October in California (maybe with the recording sessions starting slightly earlier than that). The sequencing of the tracks was completed in January and the album is expected to contain ten tracks.

Jeff Rosen has brought the finished album to Europe for listening sessions in various cities including London, Munich and Oslo. These “listenings” were mainly for sales and marketing staff at Sony. We must assume that similar sessions have taken place in the United States. Several different titles have been put forward for the album but, for the most part, these seem to be little more than internet babble and at the time of the listenings (mid February) no title had been decided upon. At one time, it was suggested that the album would be released in the autumn, then a release date in May 2009 was mentioned but it seems that the release has now been brought forward to the last week of April, to coincide with later stages of Dylan’s forthcoming European tour. There are strong rumours about the circumstances in which the album came about (See entry for “My Own Love Song” below). There are also rumours that the musicians on the album are not all from the current touring band.

As the Dylan Digest excerpt notes, one prevalent theory gaining credibility is that the album is either partially or completely a Dylan-composed soundtrack for a new Oliver Dahan movie, titled My Own Love Song, starring Renée Zellweger and Forest Whitaker. While the IMDB doesn't have any information about the movie's soundtrack, several European media outlets have noted over the past several months that Dylan indeed composed it.

Given that the reports are true - which is at this point is still a large given - 2009 is shaping up to be an excellent year for Bob Dylan fans, with the possibility of a release of Chronicles: Volume Two; the Hank Williams Project also slated for release; and now this new studio album.

http://www.dreamtimepodcast.com/2009/02/new-dylan-album-for-spring.html

women. by twos.

2009-02-26T15:49:00.006-05:00

welcome to the terrordome.

2009-02-26T01:06:00.004-05:00

I got so much trouble on my mind
Refuse to lose
Here's your ticket
Hear the drummer get wicked
The crew to you to push the back to Black
Attack so I sat and japped
Then slapped the Mac(Intosh)
Now I'm ready to mike it
(You know I like it) huh
Hear my favoritism roll "Oh"
Never be a brother like me go solo
Lazer anastasia maze ya
Ways to blaze your brain and train ya
The way I'm livin', forgiven'
What I'm givin' up
X on the flex hit me now
I don't know about later
As for now I know how to avoid the paranoid
Man I've had it up to here
Gear I wear got 'em goin' in fear
Rhetoric said
Read just a bit ago
Not quittin' though
Signed the hard rhymer
Work to keep from gettin' jerked
Changin' some ways
To way back in the better days
Raw metaphysically bold
Never followed a code
Still dropped a load
Never question what I am God knows
Cause it's comin' from the heart
What I got better get some
(Get on up) hustler of culture
Snakebitten
Been spit in the face
But the rhymes keep fittin'
Respects been givin' how's ya livin'
Now I can't protect a paid off defect
Check the record
An reckon an intentional wreck
Played off as some intellect
Made the call, took the fall
Broke the laws
Not my fault they're fallin' off
Known as fair and square
Throughout my years
So I growl at the livin' foul
Black to the bone my home is your home
So welcome to the Terrordome
Subordinate terror
Kickin' off an era
Cold deliverin' pain
My 98 was 87 on a record yo
So now I go Bronco
Crucifixion ain't no fiction
So called chosen frozen
Apology made to who ever it pleases
Still they got me like Jesus
I rather sing, bring, think, reminisce
'Bout a brother while I'm in sync
Every brother ain't a brother cause a color
Just as well could be undercover
Backstabbed, grabbed a flag
From the back of the lab
Told a Rab get off the rag
Sad to say I got sold down the river
Still some quiver when I deliver
Never to say I never knew or had a clue
Word was heard, plus hard on the boulevard
Lies, scandalizin', basin'
Traits of hate who's celebratin' wit satan?
I rope a dope the evil with righteous
Bobbin' and weavin' and let the good get even
C'mon down
And welcome to the Terrordome.
Caught in the race against time
The pit and the pendulum
Check the rhythm and rhymes
While I'm bendin' 'em
Snakes blowin' up the lines of design
Tryin' to blind the science I'm sendin' 'em
How to fight the power
Cannot run and hide
But it shouldn't be suicide
In a game a fool without the rules
Got a hell of a nerve to just criticize
Every brother ain't a brother
Cause a Black hand
Squeezed on Malcom X the man
The shootin' of Huey Newton
From a hand of a Nig who pulled the trigger
It's weak to speak and blame somebody else
When you destroy yourself
First nothing's worse than a mother's pain
Of a son slain in Bensonhurst
Can't wait for the state to decide the fate
So this jam I dedicate
Places with the racist faces
Just an example of one of many cases
The Greek weekend speech I speak
From a lesson learned in Virginia (Beach)
I don't smile in the line of fire
I go wildin'
But it's on bass and drums even violins
Watcha do gitcha head ready
Instead of gettin' physically sweaty
When I get mad
I put it down on a pad, yeah
Give ya somethin' thatcha never had controllin'
Fear of high rollin'
God bless your soul and keep livin'
Never allowed, kickin' it loud
Droppin' a bomb
Brain game intellectual Vietnam
Move as a team
Never move alone
But
Welcome to the Terrordome

today.

2009-02-26T00:01:00.002-05:00

today is the day before an unexpected day off (exchanged for my regular day off on friday) not by my choice, but because i am agreeable.

today i took an algebra test and was apparently not ready despite the ease with which I completed my homework and the actual enjoyment I took from it. does this mean that enjoyment is not compatible with learning?

today i learned that the business tax responsibility that i took on at work is much more complicated than i originally thought...and that it is compounded to an alarming extent by neglect...yay job security.

today I drank coffee for breakfast, had chicken noodle soup for lunch and ate salt and vinegar chips with beer for dinner...i might eat something else when this is done...after all, i am off tomorrow and can stay up late as i like.

today i learned that one of two people in accounting suffered silent public humiliation by emitting a quiet yet fervently smelly fart.

today i learned that the boo can take care of herself while she is sick...

today i learned that i am alone...ultimately.

reactionary.

2009-02-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

girl crush.

2009-02-21T08:58:00.000-05:00

mary-louise parker.

onion.

2009-02-20T16:03:00.001-05:00

dita.

2009-02-19T18:52:00.001-05:00

happy valentine's day.

2009-02-14T23:48:00.001-05:00

four women.

2009-02-12T20:40:00.001-05:00

planet telex.

2009-02-12T20:25:00.001-05:00

my favorite cuss words.

2009-02-12T06:57:00.003-05:00

motherfucker fuck fuckhead fuck-up shit shithead shitty bullshit jackass cocksucker dumbass asshole bastard dipshit tits cock dick prick pussy dickhead damnit godamnit pissed-off pissy

that's pretty much it...I may add more as they occur to me.

later...
dumbfuck
how could I forget dumbfuck.

Deland, Cassadaga and Lake Helen - February 7, 2009

2009-02-11T16:48:00.004-05:00

scenes from an alleyway.

2009-01-31T13:28:00.003-05:00

Sanford, FL - January 30, 2009.

revelatory iPod moment.

2009-01-26T18:11:00.004-05:00

I walked into the office this morning with Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos blasting in my head and no one knows...

I knew this thing was going to change my life.

dichotomy.

2009-01-20T22:52:00.001-05:00

I now know what it is to feel like lead on the inside and rice paper on the outside.

Lessons learned hard are learned best.

pound portraits.

2009-01-11T20:31:00.004-05:00

Simba day.

2009-01-09T20:19:00.002-05:00

things i saw christmas eve.

2009-01-06T18:55:00.004-05:00

moonglow.

2009-01-06T07:31:00.006-05:00

where does it all end?

2009-01-04T23:12:00.001-05:00

merry christmas.

2008-12-24T08:28:00.002-05:00

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