Bi-Coastal Broads

What's Really Behind Sarah Palin's Publicity Ploys...by Sybil Adelman Sage

2009-07-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

Sunday's Washington Times quoted Sarah Palin: "I will go around the country on behalf of candidates who believe in the right things, regardless of their party label or affiliation." My suspicion: a brilliant blackmail strategy to inspire candidates to fork over hush money to lose Palin's endorsement.

In today's New York Times friends have reported that Palin's hair, the most substantial thing about her, has been thinning. My suspicion: Sarah is fishing to do commercials for Rogaine.

And on the topic of fishing. My suspicion: the overalls and rubber boots are a shameless ploy to get her on the cover of the L.L. Bean Catalog.

The very public tensions between the soon to be former governor of Alaska and her not quite son-in-law, often referred to as "the father of Sarah Palin's grandchild." My suspicion: they're gunning for a sit-com, All in the Family meets Northern Exposure.

Bush's Wiretapping Missed Ensign's Extra-political Affair

2009-07-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

How inept was the Bush White House that with all their warrantless wiretapping, they never listened in on the ever-growing group of married, Republican politicians having extra-political affairs? They knew nothing about John Ensign's involvement with Cindy Hampton, who'd been his bookkeeper, until her husband, the Nevada senator's former chief of staff, went public with the story.

It's no surprise that the recent report, compiled by five inspector generals, questions how much valuable intelligence the wiretapping program has yielded. If the eavesdropping didn't pick up on local transgressions right there in Washington, how could it conceivably have been effective in the "war against terror?"

Conservative Christian lawmakers are said to have created a safe harbor in an apartment building known as the "Prayer House." Would it not have been more fitting to name their highly charged, testosterone frat house "Animal House?" I suspect they've had to tweak prayer books to conform to their lifestyles, and that in their version of the 23rd Psalm, they excised, "Lead us not into temptation."

Cindy and Doug Hampton both lost their jobs, but received $96,000 as "severance pay" from the senator's parents. Doug, who might have been a valuable addition to the wiretapping squad, is now employed by a Las Vegas airline, where he has the apt title, "vice president of government affairs."

Sarah Palin and I are both lame ducks...by Sybil Sage

2009-07-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

After twenty-nine years of marriage, I could fairly be called a lame duck wife, whose family and friends are bored with my anecdotes and mustard chicken. I am, therefore, announcing that it will be better for everyone in New York State if I pass the torch and let someone else do the talking and cooking for my family.

This does not mean that I won't be useful to my loved ones. I'm wired to be useful, but I do not need a title to serve. My resolution followed the realization that I have no intention of marrying again so it makes perfect sense to terminate this marriage, which is what I will do in three weeks.

Greatlovelookup.com: online support for adulterers

2009-07-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Greatlovelookup.com e-mailed me today, introducing their site as a “Discreet Dating Community For Married People, and for Single People that want to meet and date unhappy married people.”

Greatlovelookup.com needs editing. Among the many grammatical errors is that the description should read…”for single people who want to meet and date unhappy married people.” And I suspect they mean “unhappily married people,” rather than downers.

Did someone steer them to me? Perhaps a vindictive Nigerian I'd ignored? Did my husband receive the same opportunity? Should I be concerned that he’s now at his computer?

The options provided are:

Press here if you want to have an affair with a married woman or man
Press here if you're in a relationship and want to have an affair
Press here if you want to have an affair with a married person

Missing is the reason that would tempt me: “Press here if you’re happily married, but looking to connect with politicians to have a voice in the nation’s health plan.”

The evidence is married people manage to have adulterous relationships without assistance. Could it be that this website was generated by spouses looking to catch their mates? Or by Mark Sanford’s spiritual advisor? (I'm aware that's a sentence fragment).

Adios from the East Coast Broad - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-12-01T07:43:00.000-08:00

This is an expression of thanks to our loyal readers and notification that I will be on vacation from Dec. 2 to Dec. 16. If you find yourself in blog withdrawal, I recommend The Borowitz Report and 236.com.

FOXENFREUDE - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-29T07:46:00.000-08:00

Many on Fox-TV are manifesting symptoms of post-election Schadenfreude or "Foxenfreude," eagerly anticipating the ways Obama might fail, unable to wait for an actual slip-up.

Bill O'Reilly, the leader of the pack, has been relentlessly inviting guests into his so-called "spin-free zone" to poke away at Obama's every policy and cabinet selection. Ironically, these pundits tend to be the same ones who accused liberals of rooting against our country and being anti-American for questioning the validity of the war in Iraq or challenging the torture of prisoners.

It's worth noting that we didn't charge out of the gate to undermine W. during his transition period. We waited for him to screw up (his area of expertise) before calling him on it.

With almost two more months of air time to fill, O'Reilly may have to cast a wider net, in which case future shows will likely include interviews with right wing:

-Child psychologists attesting to the likelihood of the Obama girls, however adorable now, turning into rebellious teenagers as a result of being compelled to make their own beds while living in The White House.

-Dog trainers anticipating that pets whose poop is picked up by the children in a family will become confused and neurotic, perhaps even attacking foreign visitors and having to be euthenized;

-Educators citing that the Quaker, non-competitive atmosphere of Sidwell Friends will discourage Malia and Sasha, who will be self-satisfied and never develop leadership skills, therefore limited to careers as unpaid interns;

-Housekeepers balking that having children doing chores cuts into their jobs and threatens the economy of the country.

There IS, indeed, a permanent record - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-28T07:51:00.000-08:00

"This will go on your permanent record," public school teachers used to warn us, hoping to encourage effort and ward off cheating by suggesting that our fifth grade math test scores would be indelibly attached to our resume. The fact is this wasn't entirely bogus.

Wedding announcements in The New York Times include college graduation honors - or absence thereof. This is the case even for couples in their 70's and regardless of what they've accomplished in the many decades since flinging their college graduation caps into the air. "The bride graduated from Brandeis magna cum laude," suggests she's settling if the octogenarian at her side didn't get a "magna" on his diploma. The paper stops short of saying, "She will be keeping her own name because his class rank was below hers."

Our marriage wasn't in the paper. My fear was someone at NYU would find it interesting that my husband and I are both alumni, take a look at our transcripts and discover I'd graduated without having taken the required botany course. My diploma, still rolled up in its original mailing tube, feels subject to recall. Almost as terrifying is the prospect of my Hebrew school attendance record being revealed, just one of the reasons I never ran for public office.

Even at retirement age, I remain cowed by my permanent record.

HOW MANY PRESIDENTS? by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-26T09:32:00.000-08:00

How many Presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many Presidents does it take to effect change? Two when one is George W. Bush, the lamest of the lame ducks.

Seeing the Obama team spring into action with daily press conferences, a leader who gives answers that are neither condescending nor designed to dodge and is realistic about the difficulties all serve to highlight the absurdity of the past eight years. Even in these most troubled of times, there's a beacon of light.

As for changing a lightbulb? Maybe W. is capable of that. He did have a busy day; he pardoned a turkey. Why the bird is being flown First Class to Disneyland during an economic crisis eludes me, but maybe it's for the safety of the turkey, who's likely to be the only edible thing on board. We can all take a moment tomorrow to give thanks that Bush will soon be gone.

Note to Laura Bush: if you get the book deal, you can be candid. There's no danger your husband will read this or any other book.

ANN COULTER RENDERED MUTE: A Prayer is Answered - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-25T10:52:00.000-08:00

Many of us, if asked for a list of people we'd like never to hear speak again, would place Ann Coulter in the top five so there will be no flags lowered because of the report that the author of "If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans" and "How to Talk to a Liberal" had her jaw wired shut due to an injury. Does her attack weapon being out of commission qualify her for Workmen's Compensation? ?

Details have not been revealed. A well-deserved punch? Can we look forward to Bill O'Reilly being next?

IF THE BUSH & OBAMA CABINETS WERE DOGS -- by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

The Obama cabinet, selected for competence and expertise, is a striking contrast to the outgoing one, picked by a Commander-in-Chief whose priority was loyalty to him.

If they were dogs, the new group might be likened to the Welsh Corgi, Greyhound, Bulldog, American Mastiff and German Wirehaired Pointer, breeds valued for their intelligence. The Bush team could boast about being as loyal as the Terrier, Chow-chow, Shar-pei, Golden Retriever and in the case of Dick Cheney, the French Mastiff, which often intimidates unknown people.

Among the first tasks of the new president will be to establish himself as the alpha male of this dominant pack.

SENIORS JOIN UNDERGRADUATES ON FACEBOOK: "There goes the neighborhood" -- by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

Facebook was initially for those who didn’t need LOL and BRB explained, so I was surprised to learn that friends familiar with the letters, "AARP," were signing up and posting what they're doing. "Like what?" I asked? "I just took my Lipitor and am getting into bed?"

I joined, but I did it the way you join a gym you'll never use. I get invitations from other members to be their Facebook friend and I agree though the point eludes me, as does the entire site. I use it only to play a version of Scrabble with two friends who also don’t value their time. Facebook is certainly no E-bay; none of my Facebook friends has ever offered me a good price on slightly used boots. Maybe I'll appreciate having an online community of friends if the day comes when I'm in need of an organ donor.

Last night a friend was justifying Facebook to his wife, saying it allows him to touch base with an Italian relative, among others, that's less intimate than e-mailing privately. I interpreted it as post-modern promiscuity. His wife remained negative about his being on Facebook, so intensely that I asked if she might be planning to go home and register with Match.com.

PRESIDENTS WHO'VE MADE US CRY - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

John F. Kennedy. Today is the anniversary of the event we never forget, the horrific tragedy in Dallas, a loss we all experienced as intensely as if this president had been a beloved family member. Kennedy's smile warmed the country; his death had us weeping as one.

George W. Bush. He makes every day feel like the morning after. We ask, "How did this happen? What was I thinking? How much longer before he leaves?" Tears? For everything he's done.

Bill Clinton. Remains a presence, a function of his foundation and speeches as well as Hillary. If tears were shed, it was for what he did and for what he might have done.

Barack Obama. We're counting the days until he takes over, hoping his administration will create tikun olam, heal and repair the disasters he's inheriting. We're holding onto the post-election afterglow, proud of ourselves and the country's choice. This man's courage, eloquence and grace inspire tears of disbelief and awe.

HAIR STYLISTS BEING TRAINED TO SPOT ABUSE...by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

If dogs can be trained to do police work, why shouldn't hair stylists be enlisted to sniff out signs of domestic abuse and refer customers for help? Today's "New York Times" reports on programs that are teaching salon workers to recognize signs, such as bruises and burns, and advise clients of their options.

Hair salons have long doubled as confessionals, where women readily reveal intimacies they’d hesitate to disclose elsewhere. These programs, therefore, seem like a creative way of offering assistance. My only concern is that many hair stylists are independent, bordering on indifferent We say, “Just a trim to snip off the dead ends,” and an instant later, our shoulder-length hair is gone and on the floor.

One colorist refused my request that he tone down the brassiness, telling me, “I do restaurant hair.” Responding to my look of confusion, he explained, “This color looks good in a dimly-lit restaurant.”

“I’m the age for Early Bird dinners,” I countered. "I should have a color that looks good in daylight.”

My hope is these programs are better than I am at finding hair stylists who listen.

BEING A DEMOCRAT MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

The Democrats are nothing if not forgiving. They voted to allow Joe Lieberman, the errant Senator who maligned Obama while stumping with McCain, back in. Lieberman, who always looks as if he's just swallowed something not meant to be eaten, showed little appreciation other than to acknowledge regret at some things he'd said.

Hillary, who attacked Obama harshly during what felt like the early decades of this campaign, has been invited to be Secretary of State, and is reportedly mulling the offer, not sure if she wants to be under another man or retain her independence as Senator. She does admit being flattered by the offer, but is far less enthusiastic than might be expected, given the history.

Ed Rendell, despite having been a vocal supporter of Hillary, is being considered for Secretary of energy or transportation. "Transition" can be taken literally to signal all is forgiven.

Eric Holder, Jr., who’s been tapped to serve as attorney general, on the other hand, may pay a price for having failed to oppose Bill Clinton’s last-minute pardon of "fugitive financier Marc Rich," the man formerly married to Denise Rich, a generous contributor to the Clinton presidential library.

The message? Forgiving is all the rage. Pardoning? Not so much.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive the Bush administration and hope Bush doesn't give himself a last-minute pardon.

SARAH PALIN IS NO SORE LOSER..by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-18T07:45:00.000-08:00

Should Sarah Palin sign a contract to write a book for $7 million, she'll be earning $6,600,000 more than President Barack Obama, $6,891,900 more than she would have as Vice-President. Katie Couric, whose salary had been a topic of discussion, has to work for 2 1/2 years for what Palin would be paid.

Possible chapters:

--When Losing Is More Lucrative than Winning

--Ya Thought We Don't Have Chutzpah in Alaska?

--Decorating with Moose Heads

--He Just Wasn't That Inta Ya, Joe Lieberman

--No President Left Behind: how Bush's second term hampered McCain

--A Guide to Palinese for the Lower 48 States

--Time Management Tips from a woman writing a book while being Governor of Alaska and mothering four children, one a pregnant teenager, another fighting in Iraq and a third with special needs and yet never has a bad hair Day

Look for blurbs by Rudy Giuliani, William Kristol and Joe the Plumber.

i am worried about michelle obama...by judi sadowsky

2008-11-17T18:11:00.000-08:00

it's been a long time since we have had a pre-menopausal first lady and i am concerned. living in the white house is like living in a giant fishbowl. how could you ever manage to eat an entire pint of haagen daz chocolate chocolate chip ice cream without the entire white house staff knowing? it is not like she could run out at 10 pm to the nearest 7/11 and stock up on glazed donuts, doritos and diet coke. nothing goes better with pms than salt, sugar and diet coke. come to think of it, that would make a great diet coke commercial.

but i digress. just how does a woman mange to have those fabulous pre-menstrual melt downs with out the entire staff of eighty some odd servants watching? can she stay in bed all day watching soaps and eating cereal from the box? i think not.

i am very worried about michelle. she seems likes a lusty lady with plenty of raging hormones to go around. she does not seem like the kind that hides her emotions. i know it has always been considered a very sexist thing to not entrust women with positions of authority because of the pms thing and i get it and agree - it is sexist. i am not saying she is not capable of being a fine, probably extraordinary, first lady, i am just worried about her - that's all.

IN REMISSION FROM REPUBLICANS - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-17T11:09:00.000-08:00

For almost eight years a great many of us felt America had been hijacked by a team that governed as if it were above the law without accountability, treating us as children “meant to be seen and not heard.”

Homeland Security added to our insecurity. It was the government’s way of saying, “We know what’s best," regardless of contradictory evidence. Infuriated and impotent, we signed online petitions, appealed to our senators and made donations to organizations that reflect our values.

During these last two terms, countless books were published that added to our mistrust of the administration. Sunday mornings on news shows talking heads were shaking theirs while discussing liberties taken, serious mistakes and deliberate deceptions by Bush & Co. “How is it,” a friend remarked with bewilderment, “that nothing sticks?”

For these reasons and more, this election was monumental, a personal victory for those of us who'd been suffering. We remain euphoric, as if a doctor had proclaimed, “The surgery was successful. We got it all!” The country has been cleared of its eight-year malignancy. We're in remission from the Republicans.

Though comics are carping that making fun of Obama isn't easy, if Hillary is named Secretary of State, we’re sure to hear jokes that begin, “There's a black man, a Jew and a woman running a country.” We've had enough of laughing at our leaders and are thrilled to replace them with leaders inspiring us to smile.

the pregnant man is pregnant again...by judi sadowsky...

2008-11-14T15:06:00.000-08:00

having just seen, on cnn, a story about the post campaign withdrawal syndrome (which by the way i wrote about last week. that's right folks, you heard it here first) i realized that i am not alone in my despair. i was at loose ends without john and sarah and barak and joe and couldn't imagine life without them. and then i remembered life before the campaign. i remembered the good old days of lyndsay and brittney and paris. i remembered how those girls filled our days and hogged the front pages of everything from people magazine to the new york times. who needed politics when we had the party girls? but alas, those days are gone. just like the democrats and republicans have deserted us and our insatiable need for news and gossip, so have the good old girls of days gone by. paris is in love with nicole ritchie's boyfriend's brother (are you with me) brittney has settled down and is playing good mom while on the path to reviving her career and lyndsay is a lesbian. no news there.

this morning however, i awoke to find my prayers answered. the market was still crashing, unemployment still at an all time high and business's still closing left and right, but in spite of it all, the pregnant man is pregnant again. finally, i have something new to obsess about. why, after only five months of fatherhood, is this half man/ half woman ready to go again? are we going to have to endure another six or seven months of a topless, pregnant man in front of the shaving mirror? oh i hope so.

finally something new to distract us. it couldn't come at a better time. while nine months of pregnant man will keep us busy, nothing will ever compare to the highs and lows of the past campaign. i guess the only thing that could do that would be if there were some major breaking political news along the lines of hillary clinton being appointed secretary of state. like that would ever happen.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR USING A PUBLIC BATHROOM...by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-14T09:05:00.000-08:00

Women are accustomed to seeing signs in a public bathroom that read, “Employees must wash hands” or, “Please put personal hygiene items in bin.” But there are now far more signs with specific prohibitions, almost a ten commandments for what can go into a toilet.

Have women been abusing toilets, mistaking them for recycling centers and trashing snagged pantyhose, empty Snapple cans, used diapers or a particularly depressing “New York Times” Business Section?

The most extreme violation is when an unwed teenager leaves behind a newborn, yet I haven’t yet come across, “As a courtesy to other patrons, anything you've delivered should be taken with you." Almost everything else, however, is noted -- often sloppily scrawled with Magic Marker on cardboard -- specifying that nothing other than toilet paper is to be flushed.

What's happening in Men's Rooms? Are there signs reading:

“Return to your blind date even if she is a good 20 years older than she said online"

“Confine your feet to your own stall"

“If people are waiting, Senator Craig, please hurry"

I'M DEMANDING A RECOUNT TOO..by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-13T09:16:00.000-08:00

If Al Franken can get a recount in Minnesota because his opponent, Senator Norm Coleman, won by a small margin of votes, why shouldn't I challenge my high school graduating class's selection of Class Wit, Most Popular, Friendliest, Most Individualistic, Smartest and Best Looking?

It's entirely possible I was within the margin of error in any one of these categories and there may have been irregularities, perhaps involving oversized oak tag signs or ballots being counted by seniors who'd had too many Seven & Sevens.

At our upcoming class reunion, I will call for another vote and suggest to David Stern, Commissioner of the NBA, that he do the same as I think he'd have a good shot at Most Likely to Succeed.

WE'RE ALL IN TRANSITION - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-12T09:04:00.001-08:00

John McCain, despite other psychological demons, has accepted defeat with grace, responding to Jay Leno’s question about the likelihood of his running again with, “I wouldn’t think so, my friend, it’s been a great experience, and we’re going to have another generation of leaders.”

Sarah Palin? Still in campaign mode, she's preparing moose chili for Greta Van Susteren and a fish casserole for Matt Lauer. If I were wearing a tasteful suit near the stove and my husband were stretched out on a nearby couch ala The First Dude, he'd jump up to holler, “You’re going to ruin your clothes. Put on an apron!” Sarah, either trying to maintain a national political presence or out to replace Martha Stewart, is showing she can prepare dinner while making statements that reveal she never diagrammed a sentence, such as, “I would have loved more opportunities to speak to the American people about what I’d like to see of – happen there with our country.” Perhaps in Alaska English is taught as a second language? (Note to Keith Olbermann: if Sarah invites you to dinner, bring a food taster).

Michelle and Barack Obama? Showing no signs of campaign fatigue, they're planning inaugural events, being briefed on upcoming duties, making cabinet appointments and arranging the move. It’s been announced that Michelle’s mother will likely join them in The White House, squelching any doubts about Barack's truly having a cool disposition. This man is taking on the American presidency at one of the hardest times in history and inviting his mother-in-law to live under the same roof! (Note to the mother-in-law: offer no suggestions and wait awhile before making moose chili).

George Bush? Asked to assess his performance, he listed his regrets as not having clarified that the Mission Accomplished banner was a statement about the ship and not a representation that the Iraq war was over and about having said, "Dead or alive." (Note to W: Given these few mistakes, it must be hard to grasp having such low approval ratings).

The rest of us are in a bi-polar state, moving back and forth between the euphoria of the election and the crises facing us. Thomas Friedman, whose new book is getting him almost as much air time as Sarah Palin, is to the world what a full scan is to the human body, detecting trouble areas and giving alarming prognoses. Friedman's motivation is more honorable than Bill O’Reilly's, who’s simply rooting for Obama to fail, pushing guests to agree that it’s impossible to do all our next president has promised. O'Reilly, whom Keith Olbermann continually dubs, "the worst person in the world," attributed a leak about the meeting between Bush and Obama as surely coming “from the other side.” (Note to O’Reilly: Americans are now reuniting in support of our new administration. See McCain's quote above and remember Obama saying, "I'm your President too?")

Joe Lieberman? Davening in No Man's Land between parties.

Elizabeth and John Edwards? Marital difficulties seem to have re-surfaced.

Bill and Hillary Clinton? Conspicuously quiet. Maybe Sarah Palin will invite Hillary to Alaska to bake chocolate chip cookies with her.

(Note to self: turn off the TV and move on).

Dressing Down Sarah Palin - by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Sarah:

Don't blame me. I'm not the blogger you've accused of sitting at the computer in pajamas making up irresponsible and damaging stories about you.

Don't blame the media. The nation saw how you handled yourself with Katie Couric, which was not a distortion by the press, but a humiliating exposure of your inadequacies.

If you want to blame the RNC for transforming you from Governor Hockey Mom into Vice-Presidential Candidate Barbie, that's between you and them. Why your father is complaining that it's an arduous task to separate your parkas from the designer wardrobe they provided baffles me.

Your explanation for losing is:

-- "We didn't get the Hispanic vote." (or the smart vote)
-- "We were outspent so tremendously." (how about also outclassed so tremendously)
-- "The anti-incumbency sentiment that was spread across the land and our ticket representing the incumbency." (yet you don't question your values)

You're also griping that it's unfair for anyone to point a finger at you for bringing down the ticket. "I think the economic collapse had a heckuva lot more to do with the campaign's collapse than me personally," you said.

Sarah, I made over 1500 calls to battleground states. People told me, "I'm a Republican, but when McCain picked Palin, I switched." For the first time in eight years, the blue states are not feeling blue, and we thank you for your part.

"What's the difference between a pitbull and a soccer mom?" It's more than lipstick. A pitbull doesn't set out to do a job it's unqualified for. A pitbull doesn't try to inflame a crowd by making statements it knows are untrue.

Give back the clothes. They'll be "so yesterday" in 2012. Hopefully, so will you.

Best,
Sybil

post campaign withdrawal syndrome...by judi sadowsky

2008-11-10T17:07:00.000-08:00

i am suffering with an acute case of pcws (post campaign withdrawal syndrome). every morning when i wake up i turn on "the today show" hoping to see chuck todd and his pie charts - oh how i miss pie charts. i want to see the polls, all of the polls, the zogby and the wall street journal and the funny one beginning with a q that nobody could ever pronounce. i want to know how my under thirty-five white guys are doing and what's up with the black, single, suburban moms or the unwed mothers over forty.

i miss john mc cain and his ever changing campaign messages and sarah, oh my god i miss sarah. i miss william ayers and reverand wright and the lipstick wearing pigs. what i wouldn't give for just one more week with joe the plumber and the first dude and piper and willow and trig, track and bristol. will levi and bristol ever get married and will howard fineman ever grow out his grey? i know that we are going to get to watch malia and sasha grow up but what will ever become of meghan mc cain. and cindy - how can i go on without cindy? how will st. john's knits go on without cindy?

i admit it. i grew addicted to the campaign. there is not a show on television that could have competed with the two years of entertainment our political process afforded us. when barak obama won, i cried. i was so happy that our country was moving forward, with a new leader who will hopefully take us in a better direction, but i also must admit i shed a tear for all that we will be missing. i think it would not be such a bad idea if we extended the campaign from two years to four. that way we will always have something to watch, listen and worry about. after what we, as a country have just been through, it kind of makes grey's anatomy look dull by comparison.

THE BUSHES ADVISE THE OBAMAS...by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-10T06:54:00.001-08:00

George to Barack:

-No matter how bad things are, don't admit to anything worse than "It's a challenge." If ya have ta talk about the wars, do like me, just say we're winnin'.

-Give out nicknames. Seems friendly and ya don't have ta remember real names.

-Make sure ya know how to pronounce things. Your speech writers kin spell stuff phonetically, like Peh-tray-uhs. Learned that back in college from the people I paid ta write my papers.

-Make sure ya wear your lapel pin. They'll think ya care about the country.

-Don't answer nothin' the press asks. Ya' kin pretend it's bad for national security or ya kin just turn around and walk back inta the White House.

-Gittin' a dog, now that was a hellova idea. If a dog leaks, the carpet it wrecks idn't yours and it's the kinda leak that won't get a whole lotta nasty books written 'boutcha.

-Make no mistake about it, I'm the guy ya wanta follow. I made it that the president is the decider so ya kin do whatcha want without askin' anyone.

-"W" worked well for me. Ya gonna go with "H"?

-Your press advisor has ta be able ta keep a straight face, specially while lyin'.

-Ya want a ranch or someplace ta chill. The president kin take any amount of vacation days.

-If you're lookin' for my "Mission Accomplished" sign, it's under the bed. Always makes Laura laugh.

-It's not forever and ya kin turn over the mess ta someone else and call it a smooth transition.

Laura to Michelle:

Find an area where he's lacking, bless George, that was so easy, and make it yours, like I did with literacy.

What I Learned from this Campaign...by Sybil Adelman Sage

2008-11-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

Losing friends over political differences can feel like cleaning out the closet.

Never underestimate the value of vetting.

Check Snopes before forwarding an e-mail.

From John McCain: people do change, not always for the better.

From Katie Couric: a speechless gape is better than a thousand words.

From Larry King, Howard Fineman, Bill Maher & Chris Matthews: hair coloring for men has not yet been perfected.

From Keith Olbermann & David Gregory: a striped suit works when you're in "Guys & Dolls".

From Sarah Palin: I wouldn't want to live in Alaska and we don't learn everything we need to know in kindergarten.

From Nancy Pelosi & Cindy McCain: there's such a thing as too much cosmetic surgery.

From Barack Obama: It's possible to have our faith restored and feel proud of America.