The Yetidrone

[NEWS] Surprise! Cow Boris News.

2006-11-28T17:21:00.000-05:00

It has been an extremely long time, but ladies and gentlemen let me tell you.. it was worth it. I have gone through changes. I have overcome obstacles. I have created obstacles for others. I have seen the future and it is good.After 6 aborted attempts, I have finally completed my masterpiece. At once delicate, kind, frail, loving, remorseful, and slightly beige - "Human Head Pizza" is finally

[BREAKING NEWS] Metal Maniac Strives for Greatness; Dies

2005-04-16T13:39:00.000-04:00

It is with a heavy heart that we must report famed former Dead Yeti guitarist Metal Maniac has passed away. CNN.com announced the story early this morning; more information can be found here: http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/deadyeti/04/16/maniac.yeti.hollywood/index.html.Last night around midnight, Metal Maniac scaled the great Hollywood Hills to forever change history. His mission: to change the

[NEWS] Christmas Single Released

2004-12-22T21:24:00.000-05:00

Cow Boris has just released his Christmas Single, a cover of the famous Christmas song, "Silent Night." In an email from Dead Yeti World Headquarters earlier today, he stated: _________________________ I feel haven’t done enough for the fans this year. I have squandered my time away at the estate, drinking buttery nipples and watching Full House endlessly. Ah, I have thought time and time again

[NEWS] Merchandise Flows In, New Songs Trickle In, Chris Henderson Tinkles

2004-04-02T13:11:00.000-05:00

To gear up for mid-March's SXSW Music Festival in Austin, Texas, the Dead Yeti camp had quite a bit of new merchandise seen around town. By quite a bit we mean a sticker and a button promoting the up-coming Cow Boris album, "Human Head Pizza." "You can stick those things anywhere, man. They are really great, you peel the back off and then you have this piece of like thin rubber with Cow's name

[NEWS] Cow Boris Looking for "South by SouthEXCITEMENT"

2004-02-13T16:10:00.000-05:00

Cow Boris has stated early Friday morning that he is anxiously awaiting South by Southwest, his home town of Austin's annual music and film festival in March. "I just want nothing but pure South by SouthEXCITEMENT! I have never been a solo artist in this town while this festival is going on, and I just want to feel the adrenaline from all the good vibes, man! Also, I wanted to let you all know

[NEWS] Friendless Jim Casts the First Stone; Cow Boris Casts Second

2004-01-08T14:36:00.000-05:00

Friendless Jim has removed The Yetidrone's link from his website, sources tell us. Apparently Friendless Jim was "cleaning up [his] template" and decided that The Yetidrone no longer fit in with his brand of androgynous law drivel his website opines. Cow Boris asked Friendless Jim to please replace the link on his page, as Mr. Boris has kept the link to Friendless Jim's site since The

[COMMENTARY] Mr. Tambourine Head's Return

2004-01-07T11:05:00.001-05:00

I don't know how I feel about this, honestly. He's done this before. Popped up, only to forsake us yet again. Ah yes, friends. Recall the spring of 1992. April to be exact. I still have the letters, citing reasons for departure: Helena, Miya, all the old dreck - but never stating the real reasons of his leaving: the real two girlfriends, the wenches known as Friendless Jim and Danless Loyd.

[NEWS] I Have Returned From Ten Years of Deep, Deep Sleep

2003-12-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

Below is a transcript of Mr. Tambourine Head's first words after exiting the de-animation chamber: " Whaaa? Where am I? TWO THOUSAND WHAT?! What's going on? Last thing I remember, the Rockets had just won their second championship, everyone was doing the Macarena, and Clinton had just...really? Didn't Clinton beat him in '92? HIS SON? huh. Well, as long as my stocks are okay...WHAT?!!?

[NEWS] Incest Does Not Call Cow Boris Back After Cow Boris Called Incest Back

2003-11-12T16:09:00.000-05:00

Incest called Cow Boris last Wednesday, and Cow Boris didn't get around to calling him back until Friday. Incest appears to be showing Cow Boris exactly what he thinks of his late response by not calling him back at all. "It's cool, I can take it. He's making a statement. I'm mature, I can handle it. I'm not going to get upset about it, if that's what you think," Mr. Boris said. "I mean yeah,

[NEWS] Cow Boris Unveils Second Track From Forthcoming Album

2003-10-30T01:30:00.000-05:00

Cow Boris has unveiled the lyrics and the "almost-finished-demo" for the second song on his soon-to-be-released solo album, "Human Head Pizza." You can download 'You Know Where You Can Put That Meat (Meat)' for free by click the link. And the words... oh the words.You Know Where You Can Put That Meat (Meat)There are things that you don't knowThere is meat wherever you goGet that meat away from

[NEWS] MP3 Posted From New Cow Boris Album

2003-10-21T15:22:00.000-04:00

'Tracheautomatic Nutball' is the first song off the forthcoming Cow Boris album, "Human Head Pizza," and Cow Boris has graciously offered the readers of The Yetidrone the opportunity to download it for free right now. Cow Boris also extends his deepest thanks to all The Yetidrone readers and Dead Yeti fans. Cow Boris would also like to send a call for any interested guitarists, bassists and

[NEWS] Cow Boris Unveils Lyrics to New Song; Defies Incest Post

2003-10-17T16:54:00.000-04:00

Cow Boris, hard at work on his upcoming solo album "Human Head Pizza," has granted The Yetidrone permission to display the lyrics from the first track on the album, 'Tracheautomatic Nutball.' An mp3 will be available this weekend, as well. Without further ado, the first words from a Dead Yeti product in 9 years: Tracheautomatic Nutball Brush your teeth and go to bed, but don't forget you gots

[GOSSIP] Incest Incensed at Cow Boris "Riff Comments"

2003-10-09T23:46:00.000-04:00

Crack LA paparazzi spotted Incest in intense "Yeti Film" discussions with Steven Spielberg yesterday at an undisclosed Hollywood restaurant. Concerning Cow Boris' contentious "riff comments," Incest was heard to remark "I'm incensed." According to our sources, Spielberg plied him for details, seemingly interested in possible subplots for the upcoming, as yet unnamed "Yeti Film." "When I was in

[BREAKING NEWS] Cow Boris Working On Long-Awaited Solo Album

2003-10-08T14:52:00.000-04:00

The solo-album that Cow Boris began almost 4 years ago, "Human Head Pizza," has resumed recording. The record includes tracks that will be played by Dead Yeti upon location of their missing drummer, Bookworm. "I started this record before Dead Yeti got back together a few years back. I played one solo show around that time and showcased a few of these tracks, but they weren't really fleshed

[NEWS] Cow Boris Addicted to Weird Breakfast; Chris Henderson Concerned

2003-10-01T12:03:00.000-04:00

Cow Boris has become addicted to fizzy grapefruit drinks and bagels with "weird shit" on them, a source close to the group says. Chris Henderson, the band's former keyboard bassist, expressed serious concern on Fox News late Tuesday night for Mr. Boris's problem. "The bagels were one thing, but he just isn't the same since he found these fizzy grapefruit drinks. They frankly turn him into a

[NEWS] Yetidrone Format Changes

2003-10-01T11:50:00.000-04:00

The Yetidrone format has changed, a spokesperson for Dead Yeti told us earlier this morning. The subject line of each post will be pre-empted by a description word in brackets, letting the reader know if it's a sporadic post by a member of the Dead Yeti conglomerate ([POST]), if it's a valid news item ([NEWS]), a column ([COLUMN]), or commentary on the uprising of neofeminism in Pakistan and

The Yetidrone Goes in Hiding; Homage to Bookworm

2003-09-26T13:03:00.000-04:00

The Yetidrone, the online newspaper you are reading right now, has been in hiding for the past 8 days in homage to Bookworm, Dead Yeti's missing drummer. Bookworm was last seen in November of 2002 in Austin, TX at Dead Yeti rehearsal. There have been claims that he is currently living in Nebraska, however none of these claims can be backed up at this time.

No More Annoying Long URL, Cow Boris Says

2003-09-18T23:50:00.000-04:00

The Yetidrone is now quite simply located at www.theyetidrone.com. Please update your bookmarks, favorites, and hairstyle.

Bookworm Sighting in Nebraska

2003-09-17T15:50:00.000-04:00

It appears Dead Yeti drummer Bookworm, who has been missing for quite some time (see posts below), is currently living in Nebraska. If anyone has any idea of his whereabouts in that great state, please let us know.

Incest Soon to Join The Yetidrone

2003-09-17T14:33:00.002-04:00

I have just learned that Incest will soon be posting on The Yetidrone, and everyone is very excited about this. His duties will include, but not be limited to, rallying for support in the Please Help Us Find Bookworm Campaign, writing his Pig Gestalt column, and other general posts that he sees fit. Please, ladies and gentlemen, let's make Incest feel welcome here. [Bookworm, Incest and Cow

Unlearned Hand Says "Yikes" - Nation Shudders

2003-09-17T12:40:00.000-04:00

Unlearned Hand, from what I've gathered one of the premier 'idiot blogs' on the net, has recently shown a map of the US with Hurricane Isabel's current location and potential ascent into the East Coast with the comment, "Yikes," above the map. I don't believe I have ever heard a possible natural disaster summed up quite like that - with such raw feeling and unbridled emotion. If only magazines

Bookworm Missing; Dead Yeti Needs Your Help

2003-09-16T16:25:00.000-04:00

As mentioned a while back, Bookworm has gone missing and it's getting serious. It's been over 6 months since anyone has seen or heard from him, his phone is disconnected, and now is the time when we really need him. The only two people I have yet to ask about it, aside from you, our Yetidrone-reading audience, are my father and my brother. I have a feeling one of them may know exactly where he

Cow Boris Goes to Sleep at 8:30; Wakes at 1, Frustrated

2003-09-16T02:48:00.000-04:00

However, I drank 40 liters of Gatorade, six buttery nipple shots, and thought about Dad, and I think I can go back to sleep now. LinktoComments('<$BlogItemNumber$>') ">Comments

Today's Breakfast

2003-09-13T14:04:00.000-04:00

I drank waaaaay too many buttery nipple shots last night and had to go to work early this morning, so I had breakfast delivered to me. I ordered The Vito from Jimmy John's. I also ordered an 'extra load of meat on the side' and an 'extra load of avocado on the side.' I ate it all and threw away the wrapper when I finished.

Boz Announces Cow Boris Has Two Siblings

2003-09-13T12:19:00.000-04:00

An interesting twist to this story, when Boz announced early this morning that I apparently have two siblings. I had always assumed I was an only child, but it now sorta makes sense. I do not buy it that Cacoa Pulp is his daughter (making her my sister) though - but I am definitely in agreement that HotDamn Doyle is my brother. I am very glad to have found him. Thank you, Boz/dad.