Going Crunchy

The Monster Within

2009-12-17T19:52:00.005-06:00

Right now the way my husband breathes bothers me to no end. His nose is all cloggy from a cold/flu he makes this weird little moaning sound when he eats that just makes me want to give him the evil eye or smack him with a frying pan. He always does this weird little sound when he eats as it is, but now it is multiplied by 10x both due to the cold and my enhanced woman hearing. It drives him nutty that I'm disturbed by him just simply breathing as he cannot really modify that issue.

I'm eating my weight in chocolate and the sound of my children's lovely voices just goes right up my backbone. The state of my garage just makes my skin crawl and I am itching to organize my towels. Lawdy help my husband if he plops dirty clothes on the end of the bed, a constant source of bickering as the laundry basket is but a few feet away.

The heating pad is my friend, I'm all achy and puffy and I just want to take a blessed nap. My backbone seems brittle and my muscles all crampy, a burning in my belly and feet that seem aged. I feel a cold coming on, but is it really? Or is it my body wanting a cold so it has an excuse to hide in the flannel sheets and read something that lets me have a gosh darn good cry. Steel Magnolias anyone?

Yep, it is the monster within. I liked this video with a few handy survivial tips for us all.

And You Thought I Was Joking

2009-12-14T22:36:00.009-06:00

Those that are around me (that shall remain nameless) and a few places around me (that shall remain more nameless) are now being sucked into the vacuum of time and space that notes the coming of my Mother.

Last week a huge light in my Library blew sending sparks of hot glass goodness down on the folks below. Last Thursday a pipe froze and burst, and it just happened to be the one that connects to the uber high powered sprinkler system that a massive building of this size requires. I walked into a raining ceiling and huge amounts of water - and of course it was the middle of the night. I did get lucky in that it was in a foyer common area and not in a general space.

Today I got not one, but two tickets on my vehicle for an expired registration plate. I went downtown and tried to plead with the perfectly awful ticket window lady and tell her that my registration is late because I had to do a car repair. Did I mention that my car needed two repairs right after my husband's clunker broke down last week? We had to replace the windshield wiper pump and the wiring on my headlights. Of course that was prompted by the blizzard that hit where I live.

In paying for two tickets I now cannot afford to get the plate after forking over lots extra for car repairs. Or if I do all of that my kids are pretty much getting lumps of coal in their stockings. Well Merry FREAKING Christmas to you too nice ticket window lady........and I really, really controlled myself even though a 20 year old inside of me really wanted to flip her off. Sigh. She would probably find me out as towns can be too small and I doubt I'd get away with that one. (Well, I wouldn't anyway.....but I'm just saying the urge was there......)

I wonder if simply my Mother's energy somehow feeds through me, or perhaps the proximity of her increases my body's electrical frequency in some way. I used to have the oddest things happen to me - and it especially seemed to come through with airplanes. I've been on a plane that was struck by massive bolts of lightning (flying to Mexico over water and that was just oh so fun), been in one that filled with smoke due to faulty air systems, been on one where the luggage door seemed to pop off on the runway, and I'm a turbulence magnet for some reasons.

Anyway......I don't seem to have that sort of swirling mechanical karma around me anymore unless my Mother is coming around. And you thought I was joking........... I have 9 days to go before she arrives. And if a one of ya'll meet her you darest not say a word or like The Ring the jinx may expand.

Bake Your Stress Away

2009-12-07T22:03:00.011-06:00

My Mother is coming to visit for Christmas both with my blessing and perhaps to make amends. Or maybe to also just do what we normally have to do with her and pretend that things never happened and maybe it will just all go away. I am blessed that the visit will be brief and my sister is coming to be a buffer. This may however be interesting as we haven't spoken for a year and I think we are likely to have perhaps a few awkward minutes. Cough.

If you have been a reader you may know that my Mother carries a strange sort of mechanical "breaking" curse around her that is known to linger. It now seems to come in advance. Just since we approved the visit (with my sister given a firm discussion of what can, and cannot happen during her visit) things seem to be blowing willy-nilly.

Oh ye that thinks I exaggerate. Immediately following the discussion:

My husband has a tooth that suddenly goes bananas and has to be pulled.
My coffee maker breaks.
My furnace blows a part and requires a repairman.
My new self-check furniture arrives with the wrong parts.
And the biggest - my husband's car breaks down.

The car broke down as he turned into our subdivision, and it was on enough of a slant that he got it to our actual street about 700 feet from our house. Basically up the street a way. Unfortunately it was also the night before I had to be up and out very early for a huge Holiday event where I was performing a puppet show and appearing in a large elf costume.

When we returned that afternoon I was the loony in the elf costume trying to push a mini-van, and then the screaming elf in the car as I had to take my van and just push my husband's van into our driveway. Good times in suburbia my friends, good times.

So tonight I decided to "cope" with a few eggs and did some cooking with the guys. We made some banana muffins, pudding, mushroom patties, and some nice bread. We cranked a little Grateful Dead and Mama played her favorites (Ripple, Box of Rain, Eyes of the World).

Suddenly all is better. My husband fixed the car - it was a faulty electrical harness and wiring. And I have no idea what I said there.......but I'm thankful I have a guy that can fix things. I'm intensely relieved because an expensive car repair right before the holidays and right after we move (brokey, brokey, brokey 'bout covers it) is not what we needed. Though it cost $65.00 to fix the car - it is much, much better than we could have hoped for should we have to take the car in. Whew. He thought it was a bigger job involving car computer repairs and such, and turned out that it was quite workable.

Tonight after bath I found 5 pairs of new pants I was holding in a reserve box for Lio to grow into. We found the missing snow boots (in the garage, and found while the Huz worked on the car) and do not have to purchase new ones. We snuggled on the Christmas Quilt and read five lovely books and went to bed with thank-yous wafting through our night. Daddy fixed the car and we have a plateful of baked goodness.

Stay tuned for what else may be coming our way as the holidays descend upon us. We chalked this all up to a touch of my Mother with a typical day on the roller coaster of my life. I may just run screaming into the night from this holiday (but without the elf costume) or will try to bake my way through it without resorting to hard liquor.

Well, maybe just nip or two while I crank up the tunes and crack open the eggs. Rum cake anyone?

Christmas Quilt

2009-11-29T23:39:00.002-06:00

Christmas Quilt, originally uploaded by rainbook101.

It is hard to make up the bed with two little boys that want to mess it up. The putting on of the Christmas Quilt means that we've entered into the holiday season. With that comes snow and sledding, hot chocolate and fires, Santa and snuggles.

And for these bundles I am thankful on this wonderful holiday weekend. Their joy at a simple quilt makes me know the meaning of gratefulness, even in moments where they rarely seem to sit still. They are in constant motion, a barrage of sight and sound. And then suddenly they will stop for a hug, or a snuggle or a little kiss. It makes it so much more meaningful because I know it is from the heart, from a little boy place of wonder.

You Crack Me Up

2009-11-23T19:14:00.002-06:00

We're learning our first jokes to tell in my household. I've found some good beginning reader joke books and the kids are having fun learning to read while also learning to tell.

I think I've heard this joke about 50 times so far, but Luke tells it every time with some good umph to it. Gotta love the umph!

My Craigslist Ad

2009-11-21T21:52:00.003-06:00

So my house buyer bailed out and the house is on the market again. My bailout-taking-thieving mortgage company never even reviewed the file to accept the offer and my buyer got fed up and finally gave up. So we are on round two of "sell the house" and really, really have to get the rest of our things out. So a Crapaganza it is!!!!!

By the way, Wells Fargo is the worst mortgage company on the face of this planet. I'm sure you've all heard the stories about them now, so please save yourself a whole lotta angst from their shady practices and put your business elsewhere.

I was a first time home buyer and thought their name symbolized stability. You cannot even find a real person to talk to there! It is a giant servicing company that cares next to nothing about you - and we've had nothing but a bad experience. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

So we've moved onward, and upward and will leave this all behind.

My ad reads:

Join us tomorrow for a lovely yard sale aka garage sale aka crapaganza as we attempt to purge and unload a wide array of items because we are moving. Baby clothes, enough toys to make your head swim, car seat, baby swing, rail gates, and kiddie shoes. Toss in the usual hodge podge of yard sale items like fabric, yard bugger, a ceramic tile top kitchen table and even random computer items and you've got a nice lot of things to look at. Want a wedding dress on the cheap (only $200!!), rolls of wall paper or even a rocker/glider..........we're the house to stop at.

There could be a child's potty ring with YOUR name on it just waiting to be discovered. Pasta maker I only used once because I'm instructionally challenged, cappuccino maker that works just fine that we can't use because with two small children we have no time for lattes anymore. Even a set of wine glasses because I rarely get to bathe on time anymore much less lounge with a glass of vino. (Kidding there, I really do bathe..........)

Maybe you'd just like to swing by because this is possibly the last day for a yard sale until spring. Maybe instead of Black Friday shopping (where we actually AREN''T saving money......we're spending our hard earned money in a desperate attempt to get out of the house and away from relatives) you'd prefer a recession buster plan and find something at ultra cheap yard sale prices. Or hey, maybe you'd just like to help a lady out and take these things off her hands.

Our Address: ****** (deleted) We are in the **** (Deleted) subdivision right smack in the middle ******. Turn into our subdivision (iron gates, blue sign) ******. You won't miss us as there will be a veritable truckload of toys on the lawn.

The yard sale will be on the yard and in the garage. There IS an Open House happening between 1-4 p.m. (yes, we'd thought we'd scare any potential buyer completely away with our hillbilly hoedown of a yard sale) run by Baird and Warner. If you desire to see the inside of the house, please bring an ID and sign in with the realtor inside. Hey, you could buy my Mama-n-Child statue AND a house at the same time!!!!! Both are priced really, really cheap and ready to move. Our yard sale will be between about 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.

And for the love of all things holy - DO NOT show up at 7:00 a.m. as we will not be ready. And we'd probably be cranky and won't sell you anything. Wait until 10:00 a.m. and I'll be ripe and ready to bargain. This is for ONE DAY ONLY - tomorrow - Sunday November 21.

Thanks - and PLEASE come buy my crap, cough........ lovely items for sale. I'm not moving these things and I'd like to find an owner that will love all my crap like I did. Even the mismatched antique toddy glasses my Mom gave me.

Getting Her Groove On

2009-11-15T20:37:00.001-06:00

MVI_0045
Originally uploaded by rainbook101

My friend J can move it! She was trying to show the guys a few simple moves to do as they want to learn to dance. Darn my 20 second max camera as you cannot see the spin.

And yes, this was after Halloween so we were all a mite bit sugared up. Go Mom!

Nature Table

2009-11-14T21:05:00.001-06:00

Nature Table, originally uploaded by rainbook101.

At the end of a season you can see our Nature Table is full of treasures: a craft from our leaves, acorns we've kept, a smooth rock with a story, "brain" fruit, little pinecones and of course the feather or two.

Each little item represents a moment that we spent or the "making" of a something in a fleeting fall. A seasonal representation of our expereinces if you will.

I shiver to see the waiting baskets for mittens, hats and gloves as soon I know the Nature Table will be empty, and icicles are mighty hard to keep on a table for long.

Food, Inc. is a Must See

2009-11-12T22:00:00.004-06:00

If you see one movie this year, let it be Food, Inc. You can go to the website to view the trailer and the film should now be available in your local Library and/or rental store.

Want to know more about WHY our food is contaminated? How our food industry contributes to hordes of non-documented workers? How corn is in legions of food products on the shelf? Why most of our mass produced food is not good for us or the planet? Also want a little hope served up with your despair? Watch this.

It combines the thoughts of many of the books we've reviewed and read on the Blogging Bookworm into one approachable film that helps us understand why we have to have a food revolution in United States. We have to for our health, welfare and survival of our children.

I was also left a little breathless by the political involvement - and how it all bedded down together into one nasty situation. For example, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas (Bush appointed - not surprising as he is tied to all nasty things business) signed the ruling that made it legal for companies to own patents on things like seeds and life. This ruling is now crushing farmers - and allows large companies to hold CONTROL OF OUR FOOD in their hand.

I also developed a little intelli-crush (that means diggin' the intellect) on the PolyFace Farm philosopher/farmer. Gotta love a guy with sayings written on his hat that cherishes the chickenness of the chicken and the pigness of a pig. Just watch, and you will be crushing too.

And yes, this movie done birthed somebody that is going to look much deeper at her food choices. Check it out.

Eggplant with Feta Recipe from Pure, Simple Cooking

2009-11-04T21:03:00.008-06:00

Fall just brings out the "nesting" instinct in me. Suddenly I have a renewed interest in cooking and want to explore recipes, cookbooks and just even browse pictures of food. Well, it could also be that I'm making fresh efforts to eat healthier and preparing our own food is a key part of it. I found a nice recipe this week and tweaked it just a little bit with good results.

Rather than hijack a hard earned recipe, I found a link online to the recipe and to the book that I'm enjoying this week. You can see Diana Henry's Turkish Baked Eggplant with Chile, Feta and Mint recipe from her book Pure, Simple Cooking. The picture above is from my own results, so I must say it came out very nicely.

Changes I made to the recipe included cooking three eggplants instead of four, and skipping the chile part. I am a hesitant woman with mint, but I have to be honest in that it worked very well for this dish and I may need to revise my thoughts on it. All in all I'm trying to be a bit more "herby" so I gave it a whirl.

It is indeed a hearty dish, and one half of the eggplant was enough for a person's main course. I served it with a little bit of Israeli couscous just prepared with olive oil and broth and a simple green salad. As it is nice sized portions we had dinner and two lunch meals from one recipe. As I found hearty eggplants on sale for only 99 cents a pound it turned out to be quite economical, and thrifty fresh food is a winner in my book. (Note, as I shop at a local store with a variety of world produce I am able to get fresh domestic feta for $2.99 a pound, and a small individual container of fresh Greek yogurt vs. buying a big tub.)

I picked her book up on a whim from the "hot"shelf at our Library and I've found several recipes that I can work with. It is one of the few cookbooks I've actually seem where they do hold with "simple" and stick to it. Henry did inspire me this week to do a lime and sea salt chicken quarters recipe and get a few more herbs for my kitchen. Her cooking seems to focus on fresh ingredients and stick to healthy food choices which is a winner. I think her book is a keeper for me! (um, maybe a renew?!?)

I'm also trying a different approach to dinner this week. I'm trying to cook a little bit for the next day after our supper and clean-up. I've found that if I have something prepared for the next day than I'm less likely to walk in starving after work and eat crappy food, cave to take-out or buy things that are processed. I need to restart my efforts to cook more and find time to get my tush back on the treadmill. (Note to the Huz: I'm officially asking for a used treadmill for Christmas - and I'm sure we can find a freebie on CraigList or the like.)

Tonight after supper I had the kids work about 20 minutes on a crafting project at the kitchen table while I selected my fish to thaw from the freezer, and made a baked zucchini with diced tomato dish. It took about 10 minutes to prepare and it cooked while we finished our project. Tomorrow I will have leftover brown rice from our supper tonight, fresh baked zucchini with a sprinkle of mozzarella and pan cooked fish.

Anything good going on in your kitchen with the fall harvest? Thoughts on how you are keeping it fresh in your life?

Ideas for Saving Money on Your Kid's Birthday

2009-11-01T22:32:00.004-06:00

Following up my prior post of a Happy Birthday to Lio, I thought I would share a few ideas for making a great birthday party that is cheap and a bit Greener.

1. Have a house party, even if it is more work. I think home parties have become a dying breed as people want things with no work.....but aren't we all worth a little effort? People talk, relate and connect more at a house party. I'll take having to cook and clean over being Chuckie's bitch any day.

2. You can keep the food simple and people still have a great time. I served tasty sandwiches, corn dogs, pasta salad and a big bowl of fresh fruit. It is a kid's party and not a dinner party, so go easy on yourself.

3. I did a simple storytime, dancing, played Spider Pie (make a chocolate pudding pie in a graham cracker crust, draw a web with icing, and have kids play a game to throw candy corns in it......dessert plus a game!) and did balloon animals. You can buy balloons at the Party Store and learn basic shapes for make - and trust me, kids are not picky. If you do entertainment yourself it is a huge cash savings. (Pic above is kids in line to throw "spiders" in the pie.)

4. Recruit parents to help you so you aren't overwhelmed. I find that people like to pitch in and help as they feel like they are getting to know you. I especially find (and I hate to sound sexist) that women losen up if you ask them to help with something like setting food out or cutting cake with you.

5. Make your own pinata. I took three paper grocery bags, put candy in them, stapled and then wrapped with leftover plain red paper. When kids enter the party they put stickers on the pinata to decorate it themselves. It saves a fortune on something that kids are going to beat up in 10 minutes anyway.

6. Make your own cake - it is actually easy! A cake doesn't have to be a work of art as long as it tastes good and is fun. Each year the kids look forward to see what wacky thing I can come out with. Lio's party theme this year was Halloween, so I made a chocolate Marshmallow pumpkin Peep cake topped with a pumpkin Pez. It was a wild hit with the Kindergarten set.

Have any great thrifty ideas to share? This year we had a blast, and gave a party for a huge houseful of people (17+ kids plus the adults) for about $120.00. Share your ideas!

Happy Birthday My Child

2009-10-28T20:47:00.011-05:00

This is a week of celebrations for us as we celebrate both a birthday and one of our favorite holidays - Halloween! I actually brought Lio home from the hospital on Halloween and completely spaced out on the holiday until trick-or-treaters started arriving. My husband was sent on a mad dash for candy as I tried to fend off sugar starved kids. (pictured at 3 days old)

Kinda hard to explain that you forgot it was Halloween because you feel like you just sat on a stick of dynamite and your crotch is left in shreds.

It is absolutely shocking to believe that he is now six years old. SIX. When did this happen? How did he grow so quickly into the bright and unique little boy that he is? (pictured as Darth Vadar blowing out his chocolate marshmellow pumpkin peep cake with friends)

I think of all the things that I could say about how it feels to be a parent, especially his parent. Much of it sounds trite, or like all the things you hear parents say but don't really understand until you are a parent yourself. But I look at this individual that I created and know that I am blessed for truly understanding the cycle of life. That if I try really hard I will try to give him a childhood of joy and experimentation.

At six he wants to be a firefighter or a baseball player, thinks he can dance like a champ, is extremely uninhibited and evidently the social chatty chatty boy. Before his birthday party one little girl called about 10 times, and another one was nervous about a party until she saw Lio. She told her mother that "Lio is so cute, and sweet, and loves me alot. I'm fine." He is now really reading, loves addition and subtraction, can craft like nobody's business and actually has muscles and a six year old six pack from running, jumping and exploring. He adores games and challenges, has a wicked sense of humor and still believes that stuff doesn't make you cool, "cool is yourself Mama."

I love it that he believes in himself. I relish the fact that he is an individual with his own little personality, even at times when it may be a challenge to me. (pictured on a fun birthday picnic with Luke and friend at a spot we love)

Happy Birthday to him, and ultimately to me for getting to live beyond what is for myself.

Looking Up to Michael J. Fox

2009-10-20T22:41:00.008-05:00

I am currently reading Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist by Michael J. Fox. Fox is a former teen idol, actor of excellence, obviously an optimist and founder of the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Disease which serves to fund scientific research in the search for a cure for Parkinson's.

I'm finding the book an inspirational read as he speaks with a clear voice of humor, resilience and level handedness about dealing with Parkinson's. I have probably no more knowledge about it than most people prior to starting this book, but have found myself poking about for more information as the topic prompts deep though on many science, research and political issues.

I know that if you read me you would probably readily see that I abhor people like Rush Limbaugh as I feel that he is probably about the most illustrative of a domestic terrorism agenda of hate for, well, pretty much anything that he himself might not believe in. He spews misinformation, hate, bias, racism, and right now even more so misconstrued financial facts. O.k., so I digress a bit......... Fox has a wonderful segment in his book where he discusses his feelings after being publicly mocked for Parkinson symptoms on the Rush Limbaugh show.

Fox believes in political actions to push for both the right and support to pursue stem cell options, and did an ad for a Democratic candidate. (When golly, he has done this for Republicans as well when they support the causes that are important to him.) Rush, in typical idiotic fashion, berated Fox and mocked his symptoms offending a whole world of Parkinson's and/or disabled people. Gotta love the humanity of Rush. Fox responded in such a graceful and respectful manner both on the media and in writing showing true grace under fire.

You can see a review of the situation, and actually (for once) something on MSNBC that I would repost. And yes, this IS an opinion piece of a quasi-journalist cracking on Rush. (Note: I *heart* Air America.) But then again we know most anything on MSNBC or FOX is news-o-tainment and not actually news as it violates basic codes of journalism to begin with. But I found this rather funny and thought you might as well.

The follow up interview that Fox gave (first You-Tube) truly shows grace, dignity paired with thoughtful introspection. He took a bully down without resorting to the tactics that make Limbaugh the true tool that he is. And by he way, how is that blood of America feeling on your hands Rush? People like him serve to polarize rather than prompt intelligent discussion, and try to make each other view our neighbor or friend as immoral as wrong if they simple may have another viewpoint. Fox took a higher path in explaining the issues rather than the negative verbiage to try to attract a viewer a la Jerry Springer.

To return to the subject of the book, it is a must read for anyone in the Parkinson's realm. I think it is an excellent read for the rest of us that would like to see for a moment how precious our time is, and how we all have the right to speak on topics of which prompt our passion. Fox describes feeling as if in order to find his life's work, he had to quit his "day" job of acting. His evolution is quite an asset for the rest of us as his quest for research funding may also aid people with spinal chord injuries, diabetes, and more

And just as he took down a big windbag with much more style than I or most people can, so I also wish for him to take down a bully of a disease that I now know has touched millions.

Last week I wrote ever single one of my Congress peeps in support of comprehensive health care reform with public options (ah, that is another post) for the sake of our nation. Next on my agenda is to write every single one of my Congress peeps....again....because I relish writing lovingly crafted yet demanding letters to the folks whose salary I pay.......in support of expanded medical research as it can stand to significantly improve the quality of life, welfare and well being of a good deal of our citizenry.

If you would like to be inspired by this gentle giant of a man, grab a copy of Always Looking Up. You may just walk away with a bit more of an optimist inside yourself as well.

Nature Hanging

2009-10-15T23:17:00.001-05:00

I Love this Wall Hanging, originally uploaded by rainbook101.

I would like to try and replicate this. What a beautiful, natural piece of art goodness! I think I'll send my boys on a stick mission this weekend. How simple and pretty.

The Fun Theory

2009-10-13T19:45:00.003-05:00

Wesley from Mountain Mama posted this, and I couldn't resist sharing. Sharing, not hijacking ;-), promise! What a fantastic idea, loved it. The only thing I don't get is why the escalator keeps running. Seems like you could switch it to an as needed basis and save the electricity.

I think I am just still opposed to automatic doors, buttons, elevators and the like unless you actually need them due to a physical limitation. I think we've transcended from "assistance" and into "laziness" in some respects in our society.

I like the idea of fun for Library planning. Maybe not necessarily a keyboard with noise, but what are ways we can incorporate fun into our Library experience? Dignity meets whimsy?

I'm pleased to see that the Fountaindale Public Library now has all of the renderings of what the new green Library will look like. The beautiful airy staircase will be central - and encourage people to take the stairs. I participated in focus groups for this endeavor.......and I'm so happy to see the patron input coming to life!

If you follow the links through to the Photo Bucket site check out the staircase designs. It is ;ight, open, airy and central to the design. A beautiful green roof to offset emissions! The theme will be a Library in a park. Perfect!

I Hope You Get Down and Dirty

2009-10-05T19:57:00.004-05:00

This isn't a picture of our day today, but just looked like a nice picture to share.

Today I had a really stressful day, the kind that just chews you up from one end of the day to the other. And don't get me wrong.....I love my job. Some days are just harder than others as with most good jobs in the world. It is what it is on these days and we just make it through as best as we can.

After I picked the kids up from school I was just dying for a breath of fresh air and nature. We went straight from school to a little spot off the DuPage River that I like. Stress be damned, I need to dig my toes in some grass.

We ran over chilly grass, discovered an apple tree with a few tasty apples we could pluck, ran on a small "island," threw rocks and listened to the geese call to each other. The water rippled and suddenly I felt like I could breathe again. Dinner could wait, we needed some earth Zen.

As a beautiful sunset hit and the dark faded in we rock hopped off the little island of grasses and shells. Lukie had made it over without Mama's help and tried to get back. Ooops! He splashed into a good deal of chilly water and muck. He started crying that he didn't want to be dirty and muddy, and oh....he is sorry. Oh gracious, getting dirty means that you had more fun. Don't ever be afraid of getting dirty!

As I stripped off his wet socks and shoes in the car I think I was prompted by my stressful day combined with Mama hormones and gave the guys a little talk on the way home that I hope they remember. The gist of it is that I HOPE you get to grow up getting dirty. Dirty means that you had fun, that you lived in the moment, that you dived in the mud and experimented. I hoped you never had to spend time in your life being worried about always being clean.

Maybe I'm a shitty daredevil Mama, but on the way home I told them that I hoped that they:

1. Got to ride a motorcycle really fast in their life.
2. That they got to jump out of a plane if that is what they wanted to.
3. That they got to go redneck mudriding in a big ass truck.
4. That they got to backpack through the woods.
5. That they got to see a bear up close and in person.
6. That they got down and dirty in nature so that they could truly live.
7. That they had adventure, in however the adventure comes to them.

I told them that I wanted to be a Mama that let them live instead of always being afraid of what living had to offer. I told them that I didn't ever want them to be afraid to try what they wanted to try that was right for them. Fear doesn't do anything but capture you in fear.

That my Mom was always afraid of what people think or say, what to do or not do because you could in some form or fashion be hurt. That it made me 100x the wild child because all fear bred in me was the desire to break those bonds of fear. I want them to leap beyond what people think of them, and never be afraid to get down in dirty in life or the living of it.

I do talk about bad fear things like smoking is awful for you, and driving should always be done respectfully......the things that we should have a smidgen of fear about or at least a small amount of respect for. Maybe wear your safety harness when you go riding in a big ass truck? Adventures with a respect for your own life and others.

I found it a hoot that Lio was saying, "Oh yes! I want to do that" whereas Luke was saying, "Oh no, that would be scary." Their personalities already dictate a little bit what their own personal adventures may be do a degree. Lio will be the one jumping off a cliff whereas Lukie may be the one with mind challenges. It all remains to be seen.

O.k., so many I'm too deep for 4 and 5 year old boys. But I figure it is never too early to tell them it is o.k. to drink every ounce of juice their life gives them. In the end people's assumptions won't matter, and possessions fade away. I'd love for them to remember me as the Mama that said it was o.k. to get down and dirty with the business of living life.

Snuggled Up at the Cubs

2009-10-01T09:13:00.002-05:00

Snuggled Up at the Cubs, originally uploaded by rainbook101.

Yes, that was my children skipping school to go see the Cubs v. Pirates at Wrigley Field. You can see a few more pictures on our Flickr site if you would like to explore hot doggies and baseball pictures.

We had a client give my husband a gift of Cubs tickets.......so thank you to the thoughtful freebie! Lio seems to breathe for baseball, and dreams of playing for a professional baseball team when he isn't fighting fires as a firefighter. Luke is more partial to football, but thoroughly enjoys baseball games when there are nibbles involved.

I'm feeling a mite guilty for calling Lio's Kindergarten and telling them that Lio had a family function to attend and would not be in school. Lukie's in preschool and they are a bit more understanding about these things. But I figure that we only have x number of days allotted in life, and building memories with our family is something that will be carried on through a lifetime. Free baseball tickets, a snuggle blanket on a crisp fall day, missing school to see Chicago and baseball.

We should all be so lucky.

Early Fall

2009-09-28T21:25:00.003-05:00

Early fall is upon us, and the guys and I have been out looking for signs all through the weekend. A walk, a nature hike, moments in the woods and picnics under the blue sky. There are rocks to be thrown, wishes to be made in the wind and of course we have to look for fairies in downed trees.

We will be out at every opportunity now as we see the life flow out from the trees in a showery burst of color, sending their tree spirit into blustery winds. Of course I cringe at the coming winter, never a good thought with two active boys. But for now we will enjoy the winds that somehow seem heavy with possibility, rousing our spirit for a few last explorations.

Dealing With a Passive Agressive Parent - Part II

2009-09-19T22:34:00.002-05:00

This week I got an incredibly touching private letter from a reader that was relating to my passive aggressive parent rant /slash/ expressive post. I'm feeling inclined to write about it as a follow up because I think that there are a few things that I'd like to say because they stand the chance to help others.

Mainly that this post now comes up as #5 when you Google search for dealing with a passive aggressive parent. I'm not saying that because I'm necessarily proud of being in the top picks for ranting about this topic, but mostly saying it because there are a darn lot of us that seem to search this topic.

The PA post, my Whale Poop Post , and my From My Cold Dead Hands post seem to be the top hits, so I've felt that there are a mite few of us that slog through the crap of life at times. And maybe we have a curiosity about other people's crap. So my top three posts of my little blog aren't about being Green, books, parenting, or maybe even inspiring. They are about sorrow and shit, violence and death. You have to see the humor in it.

It seems like I get 'round about a letter a week now from people that want to privately respond, give feedback, or just simply say hello. We all need to feel like somebody is listening, or that we are heard because a PA relative can truly make you feel like you are the nutty one. There is a need to relate, to express, to say I understand because I've experienced it too.

To each of you I freely say, please......write it. You are not alone because I've received a good deal of private responses, and on my hit counter each day there are many of us. I won't say who you are, or your name, or what you said. Just know that you are heard, and there is an expression each week from somebody saying thank you for writing it. And to each of you - I'd encourage you to find a space in your life to write it, to express it, to release it.

My follow up to the post is probably not what anybody actually wants to hear. My Mom and I still do not speak and are officially estranged. And oddly enough I have to be alright with it for now, even though I know the clock ticks on our lives. I think I feel sadder about it because my children already lost their grandfather (my father) and the other grandparents are an ocean away. I know she would like to be more of a grandmother, but oddly the children are tied to me. There is a barrier here, though not intentional.

After the giant blow-out my Mom flew back early. The next month she entered into major surgery for female things - seems as if parts of yourself can actually fall out of yourself. Shudder. I found this out as my brother-in-law called from the hospital - he felt like I had the right to know. My sister did not call as she felt like she needed to follow my Mom's wishes. Whether that is right or not I don't really know. To me it felt like a massive passive aggressive dig.......ha HA.....I'm sicky, sicky and now you get to feel like shit. What an awful daughter to yell at the sick mother, even if she was a completely evil shrew coming at me with every bit of venom she had. Oh, was that intentional? I know it wasn't. That is just what it felt like. Dammit, I cannot even have an honest fight with her and have that be it.

I had a long talk with her best friend on the phone. A strong point that I made was that it is past time for my mom to be on insulin as well. What I realized in retrospect is how poorly she manages her diabetes, and how she will not listen nor believe what you are saying. Her mental health, cognitive ability, memory and mood are all affected. Take a person that is already passive aggressive and crank it up with diabetes and it makes for a toxic cocktail.

Her best friend agreed, she knew it was time for her to be on insulin as well. We discussed the fact that she is declining, etc. It totally shocked me to realize that she cannot even admit any of the struggles that we have to even her best friend. She is so afraid of what other people will think of her, always has she been this way through our life. Her best friend had no idea she was send home early, nor that we were not speaking for now.

What I conveyed to her friend at the time was just because you have a fight with somebody doesn't mean that you don't love them. That I'm sorry. That I loved her. And so on. And we have yet to speak.

And at this point I don't know if I can, or want to. Regardless of the issue there will always be the call of the fact that she is my mother. Ultimately I know that in many ways that cannot, nor will be a healthy relationship because I cannot control the health, emotional health nor actions of another.

For now to us to have a relationship there has to be an apology on her side, or at least an acknowledgement. Quite frankly I doubt something like that will ever be forthcoming. Mainly because I think she doesn't know how to apologize to people nor ever realize how deeply she hates so many things in her life. And I'm wary as frequently after a Mom incident she shortly forgets any lessons that may have been learned and immediately goes back to how she treats others.

Can I myself live that and forgive my mother? I do not know yet. I think I'm still working it out in my head.

Now almost a year later I still have fully mixed feelings about this. Mostly because I'm afraid my mother will die and we won't have spoken, and that my children will grow up not knowing their grandmother. But I don't know if I can know her anymore........and I don't know how to handle that situation.

As an adult that lost a parent far too early I'm aware of the mortality issue, especially as I know my Mom's health is not very good. But I don't know if I can reconcile the reality of letting her in only from the fear of losing her. But a year of time also eases the sting of the situation and I don't know if I should make further gestures. I don't know if I can.

I guess I'll let you know the end of the story as I know it. After all, we are all mostly a work in progress now aren't we? And for those that deal with their own situations.........it is o.k. if you don't know the end of your story either. Sooner or later it will write itself out. You are not alone.

I'm including Sia's Breathe Me for this post, mainly because it just feels right.

Help! I've been Hikjacked by Kanye! (And Joe Wilson is a Jackass)

2009-09-17T06:08:00.000-05:00

Early this morning I suffered at the hands of Kanye West, perhaps the best known disrespectful interrupter. Oh wait, that title already belongs to Joe Wilson, member of the Sons of the Confederacy.

And remember ya'll, I AM from the Deep South (Alabama) so I do have the right to make fun of an ignorant redneck mentality because I damn well grew up around it, know it, and have direct knowledge of the hissing snake of meanness that runs through these people.

Here is a few tips I'd like to perhaps give them both:

1. Interrupting is wrong, especially when you are a jackass.

2. Somebody already won the moment, be it an award or Presidential race. Deal with it.

3. You both tell untruths based upon your bias.

4. Please do not over inflate your own self-importance in giving an opinion of the moment.

5. A larger body of people already voted upon the issue. Both of them in fact.

6. For both of them, please go back to Kindergarten a learn a mite bit more manners.

As for my website, I managed to get Kayne West to vacate. The ickiness of Joe Wilson is still running about in my head and that might take a wee bit more work to do.

Closed and ignorant minds should equal a closed mouth, but hey.......lately we've seen that the least informed seem to yell the loudest.

At the Dunes

2009-09-16T22:55:00.001-05:00

At the Dunes, originally uploaded by rainbook101.

I'm here, though taking a bit of a blogcation. I've needed down time, up time, and more time. We've moved, and though I have much more to say I've needed some time to say nothing.

The heart hurts, moves on.......and we all go forward.

Sometimes you just need to dig your toes in a little sand to feel better. The guys and I with our "honorary sister" had a day of ice cream, beach, sand and frittering.

And in these things the heart does heal.

A YMCA for Mama

2009-08-15T16:06:00.004-05:00

I'm doing a gator as Lio got a slot in the after school program from the YMCA. I am absolutely relieved! This program is in school districts 204, 203, and 308 - providing after school sports, recreation, snacks and crafts with specifically trained and supervised YMCA staff. It is also a more affordable option for the days when we need help.

The reality of being a working parent and trying to use public school smacked me in the face. The hours do not match - and there are few after school options that you feel like you can count on. I even tried to talk my sister into ditching her job and take a life hiatus to come live with me! When you don't have family around it can be much harder as in many respects........it does take a village. That, or it may cost you a village.

We were about to interview a PT Nanny, an option that I was not happy about as it would involve an unknown person driving with our kids. And no offense to all the good nannies of the world......but I've seen far too many in libraries and how they behave when the parents aren't around. Texting, cell phoning, computering, socializing, "sitting" but not "interacting," and generally just being kinda half assed with watching their charges.

So hooray for the YMCA - thank you, thank you, thank YOU! I'm not wearing sequins or feathers, and in fact looking kinda frumpily grumpily in my old shorts and a scary tank top - but I'll do a little arm waving YMCA action in salute.

Teacher Leave Them Kids Alone

2009-08-12T23:00:00.003-05:00

1800's Teacher's Rules, originally uploaded by rainbook101.

As we get ready for a new school year, it is a touch entertaining to see the rules for a teacher circa 1872.

Poor things had to fill lamps, carry water, and were only allowed to court one night a week (men only) but perhaps could get two nights if they went to church. Women pretty much got the boot if they married or got a little frisky.

Don't think about dyeing your hair or a beer on the weekend - you might lose your few dollars of pay per month!

Bless her heart, the poor teacher caught entertaining herself on camera and accidentally distributing it to students would probably have been stoned to death in 1872.

Is it me, or is here very little about educating children in these rules!

Note: This is a typed version of the handwritten rules at a historical display. The actual writing is a mite hard to read.

Getting It All Done, Or Not

2009-08-10T22:32:00.004-05:00

I honestly don't know if I can "get it all done" right now. I'm having a little mental overload in many respects.

Right now I have to:

- Work an extensive work week
- Be Zen at my work week as I have to help others, and we've had a difficult software platform migration going on that requires a good deal of mental energy.
- Pack my entire house, of which I'm really only 10% done.
- Have an enormous yard sale for the rest of it that is only 10% ready.
- Get both the children ready for new schools.
- Find an after school sitter I can actually afford for Lio after school because the FREAKING after school program is full with ZERO notice on their websites AFTER I signed a lease for this house.
- I have no idea at this point where some things are packed.
- My fall semester starts 8/24 - and I'm in the tweaking details for Units and Syllabus.

And did I mention everything is triple what it thought - if not quad on some respects? I relate to the "plight" of the middle class - I have no idea how we actually pay for all of this, let alone do it all. I actually tried to convince my lawyer sister to chuck it all and come live with me for free in exchange for afternoon childcare services. Right now she thinks her job stinks so bad that she might take me up on it and deliver midnight pizzas just to have some peace of mind. Sigh - I truly WISH I had family here.

O.k. gripe over. I'm going to hide under my covers. Snarfle, snarfle, sniff. I am shamelessly eating Moose Tracks while I write this because we all need a little sugar fix on these kinds of days.

And tomorrow will be a better day by golly - as it is TUESDAY and somehow Tuesday seems to work the kinks out. How's your Monday?

Mama is Electrifying, or, Fun at Aurora SciTech

2009-08-02T09:50:00.002-05:00

Mama is Electrifying!, originally uploaded by rainbook101.

We loved our visit to the Aurora SciTech Museum this weekend. It is filled with gobs of hands on science experiments for grown-ups and children. Two floors of exhibits, a lunchroom and plenty of room to move around make for a good outing.

They also offer science shows throughout the day and have wandering staff members that engage the children. Fun!

I think our favorite part of the day was being "electrified," and our exhibit to remember was the smell station. I did like that these were hands - on but engaged the kids with playing with the "concept" as opposed to "only" play. It helped them learn while we had a blast.

The cost is $8.00 per person, and parking is free on the weekend. During the week you will need to bring some change for metered parking, but a few quarters buys you ample time. Make sure to pack a picnic as they do not have food service - and be prepared to have hours of fun!

The building is in a prior older post office so it does have an old fashioned feel that is quite charming. I thought the interior was beautiful - and gave me such a nice feeling of history. This museum is not overly crowded (say, like Dupage Childrens! Love it but sometimes you cannot move!) and we were able to have lots of fun with the rocket launchers and other exhibits.

Give it a try - We certainly had a blast and would recommend it.