tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56812332009-02-20T23:37:04.402-08:00Dorks Don't Rock.The Cup Says "SUPURRR PURRRSON". Try saying that outloud.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comBlogger568125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1155276685518975592006-08-10T23:05:00.000-07:002006-08-10T23:11:25.536-07:00Me and Super Fat Aerobics Cat wish you a happy weekend. We're serious. Look at my face. You better have a fucking good weekend.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1153035950943803022006-07-16T00:41:00.000-07:002006-07-16T00:45:50.956-07:00Happy 1st Birthday Nephew Will!And here's something uniquely Seattle ... A clown driving a Saab, drinking an energy drink.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1151988115154329072006-07-03T21:37:00.000-07:002006-07-03T21:44:04.726-07:00Hard hearts and haters of love-a-lots, turn your heads.I mean ... how could you not marry that.The cute one tells the sweaty man a fun secret ...I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1151824472469623322006-07-02T00:12:00.000-07:002006-07-02T00:14:32.480-07:00There's also the theory that says rolling your own cigarettes allows you to discriminate between tabacoo with carcinogens and that without. The theory is of course the brain baby of Dr. Brent Kinkade.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1151553451171504162006-06-28T20:52:00.000-07:002006-06-29T20:09:36.746-07:00 At the local QFC tonight ...The dudes, pushing 50 each, grey hair and hiking boots, ventilated ball caps - the dudes in front of us bought 3 bottles of wine and two six packs of beer."That'll be seventy-four fifty-six," says the cashier.They pay and scoot along."Did those guys just pay 74 dollars for beer and stuff?" I ask as I put in my club card number."Yep," says the cashier, "Well, that and I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1151104423174224412006-06-23T16:11:00.000-07:002006-06-23T16:14:20.673-07:00There is no scientific proof that smoking mini cigars is better for you than smoking cigarettes ... but there are a shit load of inaccurate voices in my head that tell me it's all right.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1150609918290275492006-06-17T22:50:00.000-07:002006-06-17T22:53:15.993-07:00Spend Saturday nights with the one you love.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1150508625882626942006-06-16T18:42:00.000-07:002006-06-16T19:34:05.866-07:00I'm just great.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1136617758116443642006-01-06T23:01:00.000-08:002006-01-08T09:11:46.830-08:00Jesus M. Applesauce, dressing up like Santa for other people is a special joy that only a few get to do. A lucky few.I'm a lucky guy.Thanks.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1135707603347965122005-12-27T10:06:00.000-08:002005-12-27T10:21:28.063-08:00Ladies and gentlemen, the future Mrs. R. Girl DiDi Claus Kinkade.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1130819733213029102005-10-31T20:24:00.000-08:002005-10-31T20:37:28.163-08:00These are actual conversations I've had with my father.Now here's an actual conversation I had last week in an elevator:Me: (IN AN ELEVATOR) Life in an eleva-tor, singin' a song while I'm goin' dooowwowwowwnnnnn-uh!(An older man gets on. Maybe he's 70.)Older man: Hello.Me: Good afternoonOlder man: Is it? I guess it is.Me: It is. And it's almost the weekend.Older man: That's right! It is.Me: I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1130818793463607142005-10-31T19:40:00.000-08:002005-10-31T20:23:16.240-08:00Did you like "Shawn of the Dead" but hate how the living and the zombies didn't get along?Well, come see the two-man play, acted out here by The Male Part of the Lovely Couple and my friend Jared, "Shawn of the Dead Redux: The Smilinging". It's more hugs!Premise BAD! Movie based on flawed assumptions of audience's reaction to original script! Movie fail!I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1130269722908645762005-10-25T12:46:00.000-07:002005-10-25T12:51:35.960-07:00Look! It's my very first professional business card!And, yes, those black bars are really on the card.I wanted people to know my name and my importance, but not how to get in touch with me.That just leads to complications.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1130115786721261532005-10-23T17:23:00.000-07:002005-10-23T18:05:28.903-07:00Here are my drawings from a game of Pictionary with my friend Jared.As you can see, I am a horrible artist. That monkey? Dude didn't know it was a monkey until I wrote "monkey" next to it.Technically, that's cheating in Pictionary. So, that's why I prefer using Microsoft paint ... And pumpkins.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1129530084635818242005-10-16T23:09:00.000-07:002005-10-16T23:51:30.876-07:00 How to use your free you're welcome card.1) Receive a thank you card.2) Print out your free card.3 ) Fold it. You know how to fold it.It's that easy.Don't let others have the last word in generous deeds.I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1127413174777972122005-09-22T11:11:00.000-07:002005-09-22T13:54:18.050-07:00What this book pre-supposes is that Edna survives her attempted suicide at the end of The Awakening. Instead of drowning in the ocean, she is rescued at the last minute by a pack of dolphins.Grateful, Edna swims off to live with the dolphins. At first, she's really enjoying all the fish and the ball balancing. But one day, a chauvinist dolphin asks her to lay out his pajamas and tend to the I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1127354196245461432005-09-21T18:27:00.000-07:002005-09-21T18:59:22.216-07:00This is my crime show ... Fuck That Shit: SeattleIn it, I play what they call a "crime scene" "investigator". But, I'm not one for nasty shit like bones or when dead people poop themselves. I am, however, pretty good at diagnosing when something is shit and when we should just say, "Fuck it".But, seriously ... if you ever find a dead body, don't ask me to go look at it with you. I will be so I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1126806161417358062005-09-15T10:30:00.000-07:002005-09-15T20:13:47.363-07:00The other night I bought da 2nd seazon of Ali G and Serpico on DVD. I was appalled-APPALLED- to see that in this post-9/11 world people are still- STILL- putting DVDs out in full screen format.This means there are people out there who still get annoyed by "the black bars".I once tried to teach some of the farming community members of my family that "the black bars" actually allowed you to see theI'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1126717140945083862005-09-14T09:42:00.000-07:002005-09-14T11:21:26.616-07:00My God, look at how handsome this child is! And so calm too.R. Girl and I have been babysitting Will these past couple of weekends. He just stares at us with those eyes, gets bored, falls asleep and then (PRECIOUS!) laughs in his sleep.Actually, R. Girl has been doing most of the "sitting" part. I just kind of wander into his field of vision now and again to announce "You's a baby. A baaaabeeee! I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1126632476089041092005-09-13T10:07:00.000-07:002005-09-15T20:13:04.363-07:00Last night, grocery shopping. Produce section.I'm pushing my cart along, trying to figure out the difference between an English cucumber and a regular one. "Don't ask, you'll look stupid. Just assume they're all grown by men in little hats," I think.All of a sudden!There are these two small kids running around me. I'm dodging them. Then some kid barely big enough to push a cart is pushing a cart I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1126382640221359902005-09-10T12:41:00.000-07:002005-09-10T13:04:00.236-07:00To celebrate my job success, R. Girl offered to take me anywhere I wanted to go for dinner.I racked my brain good, 'cause a special meal makes for a special day. My final decision was this ..-A giant sandwich from Safeway.-A bottle of Vodka.-Eating while watching T.V.Doesn't that sound better than Applebee's?So, after the sandwich was chewed and the vodka was spent and R. Girl had passed out ... I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1126294786800931152005-09-09T12:12:00.000-07:002005-09-10T00:28:48.316-07:00I GOT A NEW JOB! I GOT A NEW JOB!I GET TO USE MY DEGREE!GOODBYE, RUBBERHEAD FACTORY!I am gonna get outOf this rubber-headed land.I should have run away long agoBut the benefits were too good, man.You know you couldn't hold me forever,Crumble Cheeks and Wig Wolf, too.I'm not a caveman with a head of rubber.This boy's too learned to be stuck here with yoooooou.So, goodbye, Rubberhead factory,Where I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1126279725017546652005-09-09T08:11:00.000-07:002005-09-09T10:18:10.693-07:00Say, who's that freshly hair-cutted guy who likes his politics leaning left and his lady tinting red? That's me.A website put my picture on the internet. I'm immortal.------The other day, walking by a fountain ...R. Girl: (pulling her hand out of the pool surrounding the fountain) Hey, that water's pretty warm. Warmer than expected.Me: Hmmmm. Like you want to cook some broccoli in it?R. Girl:I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1125729827674026272005-09-02T23:28:00.000-07:002005-09-03T09:37:48.906-07:00I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5681233.post-1125602667774685932005-09-01T12:06:00.000-07:002005-09-01T14:29:42.263-07:00History, doing what it does.And to those of you who read this site on a regular basis for my testicle jokes and stories of the neanderthals I know ... I appologize if I've been a lil' too political lately. It's just ... it's just ... the man went golfing after the worst storm in our nation's history had destroyed a city!And then he pretended to be a rockstar - AAAARRRGGHHH - and he wants you to I'm Brent, ya dorks.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17117680809285077921noreply@blogger.com