Matt's Blog

Redemption

2009-10-14T22:19:00.001-04:00

the harder the attack, the greater is the victory
the more devastating the loss, the better is the redemption
the dryer the desert, the more bountiful is the harvest
the deeper the persecution, the more beautiful is the reward
the darker the path, the brighter is the future
the tougher the season, the more joyous is the breakthrough
the more painful the death, the greater is the resurrection

Matt

The Law

2009-10-04T15:35:00.001-04:00

I was on the bus today, thinking about how driving and how some people
just do stupid, sometimes illegal things. I thought about how one of
the typical "road ragey" driver lines for such an instance is,
"doesn't he know how to drive!? Doesn't he know the law!?"
It's funny how people understand why the government makes laws to help
protect us and keep us safe, to keep society on track, so to speak.
Than I thought about how God has done the same thing with laws for us
for life and yet people don't seem to get that.
It's interesting how people look at God's laws. I think people see
them as something to be obtained, as though the completion and
obedience of the law is the destination of life, the outcome. Again, I
wondered how people don't make the connection. The laws of the road
aren't our destination, they're guidelines to help us (everyone) get
to our destination. It's the same with God's laws. Obeying his
commandments isn't our goal as Christians or humans, obeying his
commandments is a tool to help us to get there successfully. The
destination is intimate relationship with him.
As Bobby Conner would say, "Ain't he good!"

Matt

As the season changes

2009-09-30T21:19:00.001-04:00

Well, it's been a while since I last blogged. Lots has happened in a short amount of time, I suppose. I'll start with the biggest piece of Matt Mitchell news...

I've been wanting to move out for a while and started pursuing different options to see what I could do. A member of my family offered to give me first and last months' rent, which totally enabled me to move, so I just needed to find roommate(s) and a place that I could afford. It wasn't looking all that great, to be honest. I was looking in the Bloor West/High Park/Roncesvalles area and wasn't having much luck in finding something affordable that worked for me and the potential roomies. A friend of mine recommended another friend of mine (the awesome James Sangster) to me who was looking to move out at the same time. I contacted James and we saw a couple places, neither of which really had us. We decided to let them drop and not apply for them, believing God had better for us. Then we found a great place across from High Park for a deal we couldn't pass up. We loved it upon seeing it and decided to apply. All in all, we were signed and locked in in four days!

God is so good. He totally got a deal for me and James that worked for the both of us financially and otherwise. I'm so incredibly blessed and thankful to be living where I am, in this amazing apartment with an awesome man of God for a roommate. I love the neighbourhood. It has tonnes of great pubs, restaurants, coffee/tea shops, bakeries, fruit markets, and other great stuff. A lot of my friends are also in the area, and I love living near them and being a part of a community with them- a part of a community I want to build and grow and expand. I look forward to the next year or more living here and will certainly have lots more to blog about over that time. I'm looking forward to meeting my neighbours and telling them about what I do and who I am and about how awesome Jesus is. I'm looking forward to learning to cook new things for myself and organize my life and finances further. I'm looking forward to growing in relationship with James as a roommate and friend. I'm looking forward to having people over and learning about being a good host. I'm looking forward to using this place as a medium make people feel welcome and loved. I'm looking forward to the ways that God is going to stretch and grow me as a person providing for himself. I'm looking forward to experiencing a whole new stage of life, basically, and God is totally awesome in helping me through all this.

Speaking of new life stages, with the sudden change in weather, I'm reminded of how everything is different from one season to another. It's much like this with life (Mark and Beth Hardy preached an AWESOME last message on this kind of thing at TACF North York on Sunday). It's so very different living away from home than it was with my family. It feels amazing. I'm so thankful to God for this change of season in my life, because He's doing amazing things in my heart and is totally showing me his goodness in this season and I feel happier than I have in a long time. Through this and other things he's done and is doing, He's really done a lot in my heart. He's really put to rest a lot of my fear and doubt and frustration and anger and sadness. He's really showed me that he does still love me and want to help me out. And He's put a new spark of love in my heart.
Sure, it's tighter financially. Moving costs money and I don't have as much pocket money as I used to, but God is teaching me wisdom with my money, and I'm doing my part to walk that wisdom out. Part of this move is based in faith, so I'm really excited to see how God opens doors and shows me his providence and favour as I've stepped into a new time in my life that he's called me to.

People keep asking me how I'm doing, and I just can't help but answer, "Excellent! Really excellent!"

Thank you so much Jesus for the shower of blessings you've poured on me!

And thanks to all of you who were praying for me when I was looking for a place and calling out to God to come and show me his goodness and move in a big way in my life. He's definitely come through with more than I could've asked for.

Anyway, I'm off for now.

Cheers!

Matt

"Heart Knowledge"

2009-07-19T22:50:00.005-04:00

We use a lot of buzzwords around the church, especially at TACF. It's not a bad thing, it's just funny how many there are. One of the phrases we use is "knowing something in your heart." This is different from knowing something in your head. Here's how:

You can know something in your head, but not live a life that shows that you believe that is true. You can know it in your head, but have no real depth of understanding in it. You can know it in your head, but have no feeling of certainty in your heart. Does this make sense? Do you get me here? (most of you probably will, as you've probably heard it before.)

Recently, a lot of things that used to be heart knowledge seemed to have been shaken in their place and are now sitting in the "head knowledge" realm. It's been really unsettling. I went through a few weeks where I was progressively struggling more and more with simple beliefs and feelings and truths that gave me much strength and comfort. This started to cause a lot of trouble in my relationship with God. I don't know if these things were being shaken so that they can be resettled with more conviction, more truth, more revelation. I'm not sure. I'm still kind of trying to get them back there. Truth be told, even though things are starting to feel better, I'm still not quite sure of these things that have been losing hold. I'm not quite sure I even remember the process of translating knowledge from head to heart. I've forgotten how that twelve-ish inch journey is made. I think, for things having to do with God, it requires the Holy Spirit. Maybe I need more of Holy Spirit?

It's scary when all of the sudden God's love is just a piece of knowledge and not a place in your heart. It's scary when your identity in him is suddenly a matter of fact and not a matter of confidence. It's really hard when his goodness is an idea and not a comfort. When you feel abandoned and lonely and separated from his presence, his voice, his heart, his love, what do you do? It's even harder when you feel like you don't have people to turn to. And at this point, even the people you do have to turn to seem far away, and your views of God and yourself and your friends are all skewed by the turmoil of your heart.

What's one to do? I guess you just have to truck through. I don't know how to give up on God. I know how it feels to want to, but I don't know how to actually do it. To abandon him completely doesn't seem like something I can wrap my heard around.

I'm still waiting for a lot of this to settle again, it all still seems in transit somewhere. Lost, fragmented, and hurt. But even if in my heart I don't feel it, something in me, even if it's just head knowledge, knows he's good and he loves me. Let's see how God uses that to build my heart.

How about you? Do you know how this feels? Has God been shaking your heart knowledge? Or maybe your head knowledge? Or maybe even everything you know?

Mosquito Bites

2009-07-14T21:20:00.004-04:00

I was at a cottage this weekend past relaxing with family and just chilling and got a few mosquito bites. And you know, I realized something...

God put Mosquitoes on Earth to teach us about temptation and sin. I'm just sure of it.

Here's why...

Let's say that the mosquito is like the devil. Him trying to bite you, or biting you, is temptation, and that scratching that itchy bug bite is sin.

Let's work backwards.

You know how when you get a mosquito bite, you feel it and you see it and then you feel that itch? What then happens? You scratch it. Why? Because it feels... good! YES! It feels so good!

But what happens when you start scratching that pesky mosquito puncture? You want to scratch it more! And so you do. You keep scratching until it's this big red blotch on you and it's driving you crazy. The only reason you stop scratching is it because you remind yourself that if you continue scratching, you'll eventually scratch the skin off.

I think this is kind of like temptation and sin. You're tempted to scratch that little mosquito bite because something in your flesh is like "oooh, it's bugging me (no pun intended) and it will feel sooooo good! I'll just scratch it a little bit." Then, this little, mostly hidden mosquito bite you started scratching just a little bit, is this giant welt of a thing that's the size of a toonie. You suddenly have this giant red spot on you that drives you crazy. You can't stop thinking about how irritated and itchy it is, and if you don't put something on it (I recommend Aloe Vera lotion or Afterbite), you will scratch so long and so hard that you'll make yourself bleed.

Sin does this. You start by just doing it a little, "it won't hurt anyone," you say, and you just like "try it out" or something. Then, you realize how good sin feels to your flesh, and you keep going. You "just can't help it."

And then you get to the point when you look down (on your hand or your foot, let's say. STUPID foot bites!) and you see the mess you've created for yourself. All the sudden you have this giant, throbbing, red sore mass on you that people can see and tell that you've been scratching. All the sudden, what was a hidden guilty pleasure is this ugly, obvious spot on you that drives you crazy. How many times have we seen this happen in people's lives? If only if I'd put something on it and stopped myself from scratching it, it would've gone away in hurry! (the mosquito bite, that is) If only I'd been more diligent to protect myself from getting bitten by that mosquito in the first place!

You see, it all makes sense, doesn't it? Mosquitoes are here on earth to teach us to be careful about giving into temptation and falling into sin. It's not the temptation that's the sin. You can't always help being tempted (you can do things to put yourself in tempting situations though, and do things to help you not be tempted), but you can ask God for strength and help to fight off that temptation and keep away from falling into the trap of continually scratching and scratching and being stuck in that habit.

Think about it...

True Community Two

2009-06-16T17:58:00.006-04:00

NOTE: I've just re-read this blog, and it's really just a more intense, in-depth, slightly more emotional version of my last blog on community. Pardon this, the only reason of this is, though my views on the topic have not changed, my frustration has increased. Anyway, if you would still like to read this, go ahead, and please comment, but you've heard it before. :-)

I've been toying with the idea of a follow up on my last blog on my thoughts on "true community", and have made the decision to do it today. It's a bit of a tricky thing for me to blog about, because I have strong feelings and beliefs on the topic, and those feelings could be challenging for some, or many. But, since it is something I'm so passionate about, and since the last one went over so well, I'll continue with this sequel.

I think our society, our culture, our routines, whatever you want to call them, here (in Toronto/the urban Western World) are (becoming more and more) anti-community and relationship. It seems to me that the life of an individual or couple or family seems to have a lot of focus on activity and being busy and "making your way in way", and as this pattern progresses, there is less and less time and focus for relationship and community.

I recently figured out that most of the "community" I experience, and most of my friendships (the vast majority, actually) are dependent on happenstance or common commitments/places of regular attendance. Things like church, work, and small group seem to be the "glue" of commitment in all but a small few of my relationships.
I used to be really good at being the glue. I used to make regular phone calls to probably about a dozen people. I'd call and/or email, text message, and facebook probably somewhere from twice a month to weekly, depending on the person. The return on these communications from people, most of whom those I was/am close, to, was quite low. Sometimes it would be a couple months before hearing back from them.
I stopped trying. I had to make the decision that I can't put in the effort for both sides of the relationship, it's just too hard on the heart.
Now, I'm not trying to accumulate pity points or shine a light in your face or make you feel guilty or anything of the sort. I'm over it, people aren't that great at relationship. We live in a fallen world with hurt and imperfect people, and not everyone sees relationship the same way I do.

Why am I going on and on with this then? Let me get back to my original point.

I believe that true community keeps itself going by the sustaining effort, spontaneity, and commitment from its members. You can live in a community and never take part in any activities; never go over to anyone's house for coffee; never go to any barbeques or pool parties; never go to church together; never help someone move house; never help someone take care of their kids or their chores; never really have any meaningful or relational time with anyone at all for, as far as I can think of, the following reasons:

It could be that you are invited, and these things are all happening, but you're just not able or interested to.

or

If the other people in your community are doing those things with each other out of their own love and commitment to one another, and you're never invited because they're comfortable with what they've got going and don't care for opening up to anyone new, than you have a clique.

or

Maybe you're never invited to any of these things because no one does them, because everyone's just looking after themselves. I think if that's the case, then you really don't have a true community at all. You just have a group of people living in the same building/area. Perhaps you build some relationship with the people in your community during regular activities put on by the landlord of your apartment, and you attend meetings for attendees, and see people in the elevator and say hello and goodbye there because you leave the house at the same time every morning.
You could move to another area of the city, and probably never hear from anyone in that old community again.

I kind of feel like I'm in that last one. I feel like if I worked somewhere else and stopped attending my church, TACF, that I'd never hear from about 90% of all my friends, and probably a good three quarters of my closer friends. (TACF is a great church, by the way. No church is perfect, but this one is awesome.)

I mean, to be honest, I moved to TACF a couple years ago, and after I did, I almost never heard from the people from my old church, and I still pretty much never do. And to continue in honesty, I've stopped missing them. I had to. To continue to give a place in my heart to people who seem to have no interest in continuing to have relationship with me is just too hard, it's not healthy.

It seems if relationship isn't convenient, it's not happening. If it comes at a cost of time and effort and reciprocity and spontaneity and giving of yourself outside of happenstances, it's not worth it, and dare I say, it seems we're okay with that. Sure, people say how much they love community, but I think that people love it in theory; they love the concept of it. Actually making it happen, the attitude seems to be "that's a bit too hard thanks, I'll stick with my happenstance-style community."

I wonder if the people in Acts 2 had chosen this mentality if they would have continued to follow the disciples teachings and bring people into the Kingdom of God daily. I wonder how we can expect to do that if we continue on this way.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this entry.

Cheers!

-Matt

Gospel Music

2009-04-30T16:24:00.002-04:00

You know, I love gospel music.

I'm sitting here at work (don't tell anybody I'm blogging at work) listening to gospel music as I do mindless data entry and am just enjoying myself. I'm dancing in my chair and feeling good.

I think I want to join a gospel choir. Every gospel choir needs a white boy right?

Good ol' gospel!

One Man, One Blog

2009-04-20T22:06:00.001-04:00

So,

I've decided to merge my "life blog" and my "devotional blog".

I am not Matt the Christian, and Matt the person. I'm Matt the Christian person. God is in all of my life, so why separate the God stuff from everything else?

I've imported all of my old devotional blogs to this one and set the devotion blog to forward here.

Expect many more musing from the mind of Matt to come.

God is always up to something!

Cheers!

Matt

True Community

2009-03-17T21:50:00.003-04:00

I believe that true community is the integration of others into your every day life.

I think it means making people a real part of your journey on this earth. It's not just in the big things, like long talks, sharing burdens, helping each other out at our lowest, and partying at our best. It's eating dinner together, going out for lunch together, hanging out and watching TV together, doing chores together, sharing your hobbies with each other. Things like that.

I think that true community is making an effort, and being somewhat spontaneous, not just seeing each other at meetings and gatherings. If the only community we have with each other is church and/or cell, and we don't make an effort to integrate one another into the day-to-day, we're really just two people who happen to like to chat at a meeting we both happen to attend.

I know a bunch of people who really love community, and love to talk about community, but I don't really see the evidence of this true (and Biblical) community in their lives. It's these same people who always talk about community, but don't seem to have it in their schedule.

Community comes at a price, you see. It comes at the price of giving up your time and resources, and essentially, a part of your life, to others. It requires sacrifice at times, especially at those times when certain members seem to be more at need.

I've been thinking on the topic of loneliness recently, and on the topic of community.

I think that in a true community, people don't feel lonely and separated from the others (all unGodly beliefs, etc. aside).

This is the kind community I want to be a part of. I hope you do too.

Acts 2:42-47 is a great example of a true community, one that seemed to mean that people integrated one another into their lives daily and it seems that that community of love and fellowship seemed to thrive (as God was adding to their numbers daily). Now, I think that due to culture and other factors, daily community is a bit much for us here in the Western world. That being said, I think we use our busyness as an excuse. I know I have. And though I want to be a part of a thriving, loving, inclusive and pervasive community, I can't do it alone. Anyone out there wanting to help a brother out?

Just some thoughts from the heart and head of Matt Mitchell here. These are just my opinions based on observations in my own life, and my thoughts on what the Bible has to say on it. Let me know what you think eh.

Truth

2009-02-11T22:42:00.000-05:00

I'd just like to say one simple thing that I believe.

"Nothing should be preached from a pulpit with the same conviction and tone of truth as Biblical truth."

It's my belief, observation, whatever, that we as Christians are in the habit of preaching our local church culture, policy, experience, and opinion (with Biblical basis of different degrees being regardless) with the same conviction and tone as we do direct Biblical truth. I don't think that's good.

Feel free to tell me what you think on this...

Stop whining

2009-01-17T12:36:00.000-05:00

God doesn't want us to complain, he wants us to contend.

-Matt Mitchell

I'm a hugger, what can I say?

2009-01-13T21:58:00.003-05:00

So, I'm watching one of my favourite tv shows, Scrubs, and on Scrubs, they tend to make extreme and quirky one-time characters. On the episode of Scrubs I just watched, the quirky character is "Jimmy the overly touchy resident". Jimmy tends to come up behind people and give 'em a hug of squeeze or feel of the sort.
I have to admit, this quirky, crazy, touchy-feely guy reminds me much of myself. I express myself physically to people I love, what can I say? I love a good hug! I'm not a really conservative or reserved person, so I have no problems with hugs and such, and I think that's good!
I'm a hugger, what can I say?

"Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers hug!" -from the movie "Tommy Boy"

Matt

Objects of Affection for the Spending of my Time

2009-01-01T15:35:00.001-05:00

I love spending time with...

God
Friends, close and acquantance
My guitar
My family
Music
Books

Matt

"I love you." Just three words. Or not?

2008-12-27T22:37:00.005-05:00

"I love you." It's a strange sentence. Why is it so awkward to say? Or is it just me?

I find it awkward saying it to even my own family and closest friends. It's also a little awkward to hear, isn't it? As children, it seems to come easier. Perhaps it's because our view of love as children is so much simpler. You're nice, you make my life good and I enjoy spending time with you. That's the child's view of love. So as long as you meet those criteria, after a short time, you can probably hear a small child saying that he or she loves you. All that the dictionary defines it as are:

1.) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.) a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

(Those are the top two definitions)

Our view of love seems to be more complicated though. Or is it? Forgive my backpedaling, I'm writing as I'm thinking (which is the way to blog, I think.) Is love as an adult actually more complicated than that, or just the conditions that we allow ourselves to admit that we love?
I can't think of much more to add to love than that. I mean, there is SO much more to love than that. There's selflessness for the other, there's a desire to serve and give to and live for that person with all that you have. There's being completely comfortable around that person and being able to be yourself and expect them to do the same. There's a lot to loving someone. But at the core, isn't it really just, you make my life good and I enjoy spending time with you? If those things really are true about that person, isn't there some feeling of like involved? Now, there needs to be a profound or intense degree of those things for it to be love, and not just like, but if I think of it, I love the people I love because they are amazing people who I love spending time with them and they make my life (and my self) better with their presence. I love people for who they are. If I think of someone in particular that I love, and ask myself why I love them, I start to think of all their amazing attributes and all the amazing things they've done for me in my life.
So, in the end, I don't think it's actually the word love that makes it awkward to say, I think it's the implications. Which is back to the point I was originally going to make, it's not love that's actually complicated, it's our experiences and feelings and beliefs about love that make it complicated, and then make it awkward to say or hear.
It's awkward for me to say to even my closest guy friends, "I love you buddy." Now, my friends will tell you I'm lying, because I do say it, and it seems to come quite easily, but it actually doesn't. It seems like it comes quite easy because it's not that awkward. I push past the awkwardness quite easily, actually. There's still just that little bit of awkwardness though.
I'm not lying when I say it. I'm not implying anything more than that I think they're awesome and I enjoy spending time with them and that they make my life great. They know that. They know these things, and they hear me say, "I love you," often. So they probably would wonder why I'd say I find it awkward. It simply has to do with my past with that word. Both with what has been associated with it and what hasn't.
I think this is what makes love hard to face for all of us. With the greatest affection for someone else comes the greatest risk of hurt. With the greatest affection for someone else comes the most selflessness and self-sacrificing thoughts and feelings and actions. With the greatest affection for someone else comes the most vulnerability and openness. These can be scary things. Often we've had bad experiences or experienced bad things on others' behalf on the topic of love. Sometimes we trust in our fear of these things more than the person we love, or in love itself. I think that that is where the fear of love, especially of admitting it, comes from. Once we deal with our fears and false expectations of self, others, and ultimately, love, we can move on and really allow ourselves to love and be loved, and to go forth saying and hearing in perfect confidence, "I love you."
I'm working on it. God is helping. Friends are helping. I'm working on it, are you? Would you like to?

-Matt

'Christian'

2008-12-26T20:07:00.000-05:00

I just bought C.S. Lewis' 'Mere Christianity.' I've only made it to the end of the first chapter, and already, I'm loving it. Expect many more blogs with quotes from this book and on the topics it discusses.
On this, the first of such blogs, I want to post on the topic of the word Christian.

From Lewis' preface:

Far deeper objections may be felt-and have been expressed-against my use of the word Christian to mean one who accepts the common doctrines of Christianity. People ask: 'Who are you, to lay down who is, and who is not a Christian?' or 'May not many a man who cannot believe these doctrines be far more truly a Christian, far closer to the spirit of Christ, than some who do?' Now this objection is in one sense very right, very charitable, very spiritual, very sensitive. It has every available quality except that of being useful. We simply cannot , without disaster, use language as these objectors want us to use it. I will try to make this clear by the history of another, and very much less important, word.
The word gentlemen originally meant something recognisable; one who had a coat of arms and some landed property. When you called someone 'a gentleman' you were not paying him a compliment, but merely stating a fact. If you said he was not 'a gentleman' you were not insulting him, but giving information. There was no contradiction in saying that John was a liar and a gentleman; any more than there now is in saying that James is a fool and an M.A. But then there came people who said-so rightly, charitably, spiritually, sensitively, so anything but usefully-'Ah, but surely the important thing about a gentleman is not the coat of arms and the land, but the behaviour? Surely he is the true gentleman who behaves as a gentleman should? Surely in the sense Edward if far more truly a gentleman than John?' They meant well. To be honourable and courteous and brave is of course a far better thing than to have a coat of arms. But it is not the s ame thing. Worse still, it is not a thing everyone will agree about. To call a man 'a gentleman' in this new, refined sense, becomes, in fact, not a way of giving information about him, but a way of praising him: to deny that he is 'a gentleman' becomes simply a way of insulting him. When a word ceases to be a term of description and becomes merely a term of praise, it no longer tells you facts about the object. (A 'nice' meal only means a meal the speaker likes.) A gentleman, once it has been spiritualised and refined out of its old coarse, objective sense, means hardly more than a man whom the speaker likes. As a result, gentlean is now a uselss word. We had lots of terms of approval already, so it was not needed for that use; on the other hand if anyone (say, in a historical work) wants to use it in its old sense, he cannot do so without explanations. It has been spoiled for that purpose.
Now if once we allow people to start spiritualising and refining, or as they might say 'deepening', the sense of the word Christian, it too will speedily become a useless word. In the first place, Christians themselves will never be able to apply it to anyone. It is not for us to say who, in the deepest sense, is or is not close to the spirit of CHrist. We do not see into men's hearts. We cannot judge, and are indeed forbidden to judge. It would be wicked arrogance for us to say that any man is, or is not, a Christian in this refined sense. And obviously a word which we can never apply is not going to be a very useful word. As or the unbelievers, they will no doubt cheerfully use the word in the refind sense. It will become in their mouths simply a term of praise. In calling anyone a Christian they wil mean that they think of him a good man. But that way of using the word wll be no enrichment of the language, for we already have the word good. Meanwhile, the word Christian will have been spoiled for any really useful purpose it might have served.
We must therefore stick to the original, obvious meaning. The name Christians was first given at Antioch (Acts 11:26) to 'the disciples', to those who accpeted the teaching of the apostles. There is no question of its being restricted to those who profited by that teaching as much as they should have. There is no question of its being extended to those who in some refined, spiritual, inward fashion were 'far closer to the spirit of Christ' than the less satisfactory of the disciples. The point is not a theological or moral one. It is only a question of using words so that we an all understand what is being said. When a man who accepts the Christian doctrine lives unworthily of it, it is much clearer to say he is a bad Christian that to say he is not a Christian.

As my good friend Mark would say, "How good's that?"

I've had a debate or two on this topic, usually where the other person in the discussion is the "objector" that Lewis references. Words need to really mean something. In our culture of political correctness and the need of not merely tolerating and accepting other beliefs and point of views, but embracing and trying to somehow adopt them into our own while still maintaining just a shred of the original(s), we have stumbled upon a great predicament. How does one actually communicate what he is trying to say without saying all that he is not trying to say? In order to properly expalin or describe things, we are coming to a place of having to explain ourselves to the 'n'th degree. Things that could have easily been said in a few sentences now require entire paragraphs with prefaces and conclusions so as to be clear and polite and "charitable, spiritual, sensitive." I sometimes find this frustrating, and actually have a mixed stance on the issue. I'm one who wants everyone to feel acknowledged, heard, and understood. Part of doing that is speaking in a way that works for everyone and is clear and precise about what you are and aren't intending to communicate. While I believe in doing this, I've found I only need to because so many people don't think about the communicator's intentions, but of the words themselves alone.
This being said, I think it's up to each of us to examine what it means to us. What it means between you and God. You can use whatever term(s) you like to describe yourself and your faith to yourself, but let's keep the use of words accurate and proper, as Lewis implores.
Specifically on the point of the word Christian, this excerpt of preface has helped to give me some peace and sense on the use of it. I hope that you benefit from reading it here, and reading my thoughts on it.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T14:27:00.001-05:00

Not "Happy Holidays," but Merry Christmas.
I hope it finds you blessed, happy, and healthy.
If you don't know it yet, Jesus came to earth to be born for us and to live for us and to die for us; for our sins. And he was resurrected after three days, breaking the power of sin and death.
Because he loves us. He loves you.

Merry Christmas.

-Matt Mitchell

Doing some thinking about doing and doing what I've been thinking.

2008-12-21T01:00:00.001-05:00

I had a bit of a "revelation" recently. Why just think about and plan
what you want to do when you can actually do it? I've made some
decisions recently to do some of the things that I've wanted to do for
a little while. I've also set some timelines on some other things. A
while ago I talked to the guys in my cell group about goals and dreams
and about just going for it in life. So I've made some decisions to
start doing some things for next year. I'd like to start playing live
in coffee shops and stuff. So I'm writing more songs and practicing
more. I'm going to be taking voice lessons again shortly too. I've
started practicing some design skills on the computer again. I've made
some new spiritual commitments with some friends. I'm trying to take
better care of my health. I'm trying to be the man I want to be and do
the things I want to do.
I recently lost my last grandparent, my mom'e father. He wasn't a
Christian, but he lived his life the way he wanted. On his terms. He
did what he wanted when he wanted to do it.
It's time for me to really seize life. Another thing I really want to
do more of is talk to people about Jesus. It's fun and so important,
and is definitely something I need to do more.
Jesus never lived a hesitant life, he just went and did all the he
knew he was supposed to do. That's how I want to live. And that's
how I'm going go live. Won't you join me?

Matt

A question of existence? Sort of, but not really...

2008-11-12T23:09:00.001-05:00

Have you ever felt like you're not a real person? Perhaps that's not the best way of putting it. Do you sometimes, or maybe often, feel alone in your struggles? In your thoughts. Maybe not even in your thoughts themselves, but in the way you think them. I hope this makes sense to you, I think it does for me.
It's like a feeling of lonely uniqueness. It's a feeling of isolation and independance that you just want to do away with. It just kind of pops up here and there. You're just sitting there, going through your routine, and you just realize: "I'm me. That's all I am. It's all I have and all I can be. I'm not quite sure how much I really like it, but I'm a little alone in it."
And you're right. I mean, to an extent. I just finished watching 'About a Boy' again. It's true, no man is an island, and we all need people. It's definitely true. And I do have friends and loved ones. There are people who care about me who are there to help me out.
But I'm the only one in my head. I'm the only one in my heart (aside from God). I'm the only one who has to listen to all the crap I think. The only one who has to feel all the crap I feel. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. Sometimes I wish there was someone else in there with me to tell me that it's okay to feel those things.
I envy married people. I know that even when you're married you're still alone in there, but you do have someone you can talk to about anything that comes up there. That's what I'd like. Just someone to "let in" unconditionally. How sweet would that be!?

Just some thoughts...

-Matt

An hour a day....

2008-11-02T11:39:00.002-05:00

So today is fall daylight savings time day, where our clocks go back an hour and we all wake up just a little more refreshed than normal. That is, unless you live in Saskatchewan (suckers!).
It's interesting how good I feel about having an extra hour to my day. I went to bed early and woke up late to be reminded that it was actually an hour earlier. I felt so much more productive all of the sudden. It's kinda of like being given extra time on a project, just by default.
So I had a thought; what if we set the clocks back everyday?
I guess it would end up being counter-productive. Maybe just once a week. How great would it be to get an extra hour's sleep every Sunday night? Mondays would definitely be easier for me!
Well, enjoy your extra hour and enjoy your fall & winter!

PS: I'm writing this blog via email on my iPhone!
How cool is that!?

Shalom!

Matt

What the future may hold...

2008-09-25T20:27:00.004-04:00

I don't know, but I've been thinking about it. The future that is, if that wasn't made clear by the title of this blog.
I'm in an interesting phase in life right now. I'm working full time at a job I enjoy and kind of, well, "coasting". I was looking into moving out a while ago and couldn't yet afford it. I suspect I'll be looking into it again in the new year. I've also been thinking about and researching going back to school over the past month or so. I've been looking into a degree in Communication Arts, but I'm not yet certain it's what I want to do. While I find it interesting and wouldn't mind a career in some kind of creative marketing/public relations/customer service management type of position, I'm just not really sure that it's the right thing for me. It's really just the most attractive route for schooling and career in the world I can see at the moment. I suspect this will change also. I'd like to know what I'd like to do soon, because if I am going back to school, I'd like to do it next September. I've also been thinking and praying (and made a tentative decision) about something in my future that only two people know about, and I'm afraid that this will have to be a bit of a cliffhanger until later in time when this thing arises.
The biggest dilemmas are these: I don't know what exactly I want to study/pursue, and I'm still in debt from the last thing(s) I tried to pursue. I do believe it's God plan to redeem that debt (can I get an Amen?), but I'm lost as to his timing. I just know that I want to be back in school. It's exciting and fun. You're working toward something for your future and learning about something that you (hopefully) have interest in. A big part of me really just wants to do it to have that experience under my belt (where does that expression even come from I wonder? I'll have to look it up...) and have that degree. I've almost always wanted to have a degree or special knowledge in something. It's one of the reasons (perhaps the biggest) that I respect doctors, especially specialist doctors. I mean, how cool would it be to possess a significantly greater knowledge and skill level in something than say, 99% of the population? Pretty cool, I think.
Anyway, this ramble has gone on long enough.
Go on now, leave your thoughts and questions and random diversions from everyday life in response!

Repentance

2008-09-16T22:37:00.000-04:00

Repentance is an interesting thing.

I've been thinking a bit recently on repentance. After doing some repenting to God, I heard him say this, "Matthew, do you think that it's your repentance that removes your sins?"
An interesting thought, no?
It's always been my understanding that, even if you're a Christian, if you sin, you need to repent to have that sin forgiven. As though there's a tally in heaven that gets recorded with each sin I sin, and then wiped after each time I repent.
I don't think this is true though. If is this so, then it wouldn't be by faith in grace that we are saved and freed from sin (because to be saved [meaning going to heaven] you have to be free of sin) but by works in faith in grace that we're saved, and that's rubbish.
I remember one time, going to listen to some worship music with my sin on my mind, (I always find it awkward to try and do anything with God or God-involved with my sin on my mind) I thought to myself, "I can't listen to worship, I have un-repented for sin." And the still small voice says, "No you don't. I've forgiven you of that." I was surprised, because, like I said, I thought you had to repent to be forgiven, and so I pointed this out to God. He replied something to the effect of, "Your repentance is in your heart, and that's enough for me. You've been forgiven."
I thought, "Hmm, well that's interesting. Okay then."
So, to tie these two things together. Here's what I think.

I think that all my sin, past, present, & future, was wiped away at the cross. The Bible says that I've always been seen as blameless before God because I was to choose the reconciliation of the cross (Ephesians 1:4). But it's because my heart was in a state of knowing repentance when I accepted Christ's sacrifice, and because I default to a humbled state of repentance in my heart that God is able to acknowledge me as clean of sin. It's not that I tell my heart to be repentance, it's not an act I choose, it's because I love him. I think that's the key. Your love for him is what will bring you back to a heart of repentance. I do choose to love him, so to speak, but more so, I can't help but love him. It's really interesting, and I'm not even sure I fully understand it all, or anything I've said thus far. But I do understand this: regardless of what I do, he still loves me, and he's still forgiven me.
I've been struggling with really feeling and knowing that recently, a lot, to be honest. I do still know it. Somewhere, I know it, and I'll always know it. You can't know it, truly know it, and then deny it. Nothing is more true, nothing is more secure, nothing is more eternal than the love of God.

For the heck of it

2008-08-28T21:13:00.004-04:00

So, I'm writing this blog, for the heck of it.

Then I thought to myself. "Hmmm, 'for the heck of it.'"

I think right now, to be completely honest, I'm living for the heck of it. I'm not quite sure what that means. I think it means I'm just waiting for the next big thing to come along. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I'm kind of waiting for a direction, a path, a plan, a "something" to develop for me to put myself into. I mean, right now, it's just work, do the best I can at that; do church stuff; try and deal with family stuff; and try and have some fun. There's no specific goal I'm working toward like school, or promotion, or career, or anything like that. I'd like to move out at some point, but that's not something I can do quite yet, so for now, it's just, well, "for the heck of it."
I mean, yes, I live for the glory of God and to try and be the best I can and be the most like him I can. But, you do that no matter what direction your education, or career, or family life, or what have you, takes you. That's basic. What am I working toward to produce a living on this earth?
What am I building?
These are things that I'm pondering, when my heart has time away from dealing with all the crap right now. So, there ya go. I just blogged that, "for the heck of it."
I guess, we'll just have to see what's next.

Not Phased

2008-08-21T21:07:00.002-04:00

I'm finding that I'm not phased by much recently. I'm having a bit of a "yeah, whatever" kind of reaction to most things recently. Perhaps it's because there's just too much in my heart to really allow more in to have impact in it. There's too much junk, too much worry, too much fear, too much frustration, too much loneliness, too much... crap.
We found out last week that my grandfather has advanced lung cancer. We don't know how much longer he has. I'm phased by that. Not as much as I will be when he's actually gone, but, please, let's not go there.
It's hard to try and allow your heart to be phased by everything around you. Perhaps I'm a little too walled up at the moment, but I do think that it's not actually that great to allow all the world and its issues and ups and downs have much sway on you. I guess it's all about why it doesn't affect you.
Right now, there's just too much weight, too much junk, too much of, well, too much.
Meh... whatever.

Somedays...

2008-08-13T22:06:00.002-04:00

You just want to give up, don't you?

Just stop and put your head down, or lie down in your bed, or just stop where you are, sit down and put your head in your hands and just let out a deep breath. You don't want to keep walking, or talking, or typing, or doing anything really, you just want to stop.
Then you keep going, because people aren't allowed to just stop. That would mean a lot less getting done, but a lot more peaceful people. In the end though, wouldn't the increase in peaceful people lead to an increase in productive people? I don't know, such things are not for men such as I to ponder, I suppose...
You keep going. You go until you get to the bus stop, or until you can hang up the phone, or until you can leave for the day, or until you can go to sleep at night (or in the morning). Then, you know, that next time, it will take just that little bit more until you feel like you have to give up. You know that you can get to that point where you were the last time you felt like giving up without doing it, but now you've got to go just a bit further. I wonder how much we can take. I wonder how far we can go? How far can we go before we need to give up on giving up giving up?
Is giving up so wrong?
Sometimes I, the mighty infallible Matt Mitchell, want to give up. Shocking, I know. I never talk about needing help or giving up, and I wonder if people know that I'm like them and sometimes I want to give up too. Sometimes I do give up, so to speak. Sometimes at work, I need to get up and get out of my chair. I need to take a break. Isn't taking a break just another form of giving up? It's like giving up for a bit, but with control and acceptance.
What does it even mean to give up? I mean, to truly give up, one would have to end one's life, I guess.
I like to give up a moment to giving up. Or maybe give up two.
I'm rambling, I know. So, heck, I give up. I give everything I have up to God, so that when I do need to give up, at least somebody is still holding on to the things I was holding on to, and now he's holding on to me too. Sigh...

22 and still kicking

2008-08-04T22:29:00.002-04:00

Yes, I know, it's not that old.

I've never been 22 before ('no duh', I know, I'm being clever), and I'm trying to figure it out. Is there really anything to figure out? Hmmm.... Does each year have it's own uniqueness, or is that just the cliche we quote to make every year feel special and memorable? Oh well...

I was listening to the radio today in the car on the way to pick up my new computer (oh yeah, I got a new computer. It's flippin' sweet!) and heard a short list of famous people also born on August 4th. Here're some of them:

1900 - Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, (Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother), Queen consort of George VI of the United Kingdom (d. 2002)
1901 - Louis Armstrong, American jazz musician (d. 1971)
1961 - Barack Obama, American politician
1962 - Roger Clemens, American baseball player
1971 - Jeff Gordon, American race car driver

And that's just a few! Look at all the cool famous people born on the same day of the year as me! The Queen Mum for goodness sakes! Crazy...

I had a smashing party last night. I invited about 180 friends to come and eat and drink and be merry with me at the Fox & Firkin pub. I was expecting about 30 people, and nearly 40 showed! Some people I didn't know, some I didn't expect, and some I wouldn't expected to be anywhere else. It was amazing. I love my friends, and they love me (as the evidence showed). How great is our God to bless me with such an amazing smörgåsbord of people in my life!

All this to say, I am 22, God bless me, and I can't wait to see what this next year of life brings. There's a precedent set for God's goodness in my life, and I'm quite excited to see him pass it.