Inside Joe's Melon

A weekend in paradise

2009-07-08T05:14:00.006-05:00

My family and I returned from the 4th of July weekend at my grandma's farm in North Platte, NE. All 6 of my siblings were there. I had a great time! I fished, camped, ate lots of great food, learned what "millet" is, played lots of games and talked with everyone. I used to spend at least part of almost every summer out there as a kid. A lot of my best memories happened there, from driving a tractor to thousands of hours fishing to collecting the chicken's eggs to shooting birds to lots of great food to wandering around the fields with a bb gun all day to going into town to watch a demolition derby. Really fun times.

I think weekends like mine are great for a lot of reasons. One is that it is a time to reconnect with family. Another is to break the monotony of life. It is easy for me to get into a routine of work, babysitting and sleep. 3 or 4 days away from it all gives me a new perspective on things.

- I feel attached to the farm, like I am drawn to it. I wonder if any of my siblings feel like that. I feel at home there, even more than when I am at my own house. Vanessa told me the closer we got back to Olathe, the more miserable I looked. I believe it because I felt it.

- I was talking with my big brother Brent and his friend Matt. Brent doesn't like girls, if you get my drift. He is a lot smarter than I am and I like to pick his brain. I asked him about my church's desire to reach out to the gay community. He first asked why we wanted to reach out to them. I said I thought we just wanted to create a place to meet God where people won't judge them, scorn them, ignore them, etc. He (basically, if I remember right) said it is a waste of time if you are only going to be nice to them to change them. He said it is only worth the while if EVERYone in the church believed it is ok for two dudes to have sex. Otherwise, we would just be "hating the sin while loving the sinner," which was easily felt. It was different, he said, from our efforts to connect with the strippers in the area, because most strippers will honestly say that what they are doing is wrong in the sight of God, while most gay people feel they are doing nothing wrong and take offense to religious people saying so. He said if all we are trying to do is get them in church, well, there are plenty of churches that gay people feel comfortable in. Interesting. That is why I pick his brain.

- Did I mention I wish I was a farmer?

- My family is awesome. I love every one of them.

- When am I moving back to Nebraska?

Questions of the day

2009-06-27T04:16:00.004-05:00

God, who are you? What do you want?

I have read a whole lot of books and went to a whole lot of church. I still have the notion that I am looking through a straw at an elephant from about 3 inches away. Just finished "The Shack." Blew my mind.

Christopher McCandless

2009-06-24T01:29:00.006-05:00

I checked him out on Wikipedia. If you are not familiar with him, he was a college educated guy who died in Alaska from starvation at the age of 24. He inspired the movie "Into the Wild." He thought it would be cool to live off the land in a secluded National Park with very little in the way of supplies or equipment.

Anyway, Eddie Vedder (I hope you don't have to google him) sang most of the soundtrack for the movie, including this song. It is called "Society" and it is about how crazy today's materialistic society is and how this guy wants nothing to so with it. Enjoy.

Will I ever learn

2009-06-21T06:34:00.003-05:00

Yesterday morning I ran a 5k. As usual, my trainup consisted of dreaming of my high school glory days. Needless to say, my legs are smoked. I did this last year. Same trainup, same result. I like the races but hate the running to get ready for it. I now have the "fresh hip replacement" walk happening. Again.

"Mother Questions Police Shooting"

2009-06-18T01:20:00.005-05:00

This story is about as stupid as it gets. The writer takes a lot of words to say that a legitimately crazy, unemployed crackhead stole a car, shot out of while speeding around town, crashed it due to a police chase, points the gun at the cops and gets blasted. Surprise of the week, the mom, who hasn't seen him since last Oct, is pissed at the cops because her son's gun was unloaded.

I am fine with all of this. I am used to attitudes like this from working in a jail for the last few years. No one wants to take responsibility for anything. It is always someone else's fault, especially when those law enforcement thugs are involved.
Why are the police ALWAYS the bad guys?

The thing that annoys me is the title of the story. Why isn't it something like, "Car thief meets God after pointing gun at police" or "Another thug bites the dust" or "Police escape another brush with death" or "Another reason police should be paid more" or "Police - 1...Armed car thief - 0"

I mean, really.

Catch-up

2009-06-14T04:02:00.006-05:00

Well, not a lot has been happening for the last few months worthy of blogging about. Or, since 70% is my new 100% since going to midnights, I am just not really aware of my surroundings anymore. Maybe a little of both.

Last night at work, I was working in the booking lounge. In one night I had a drunk 40-year-old women tell me I was incompetent and later cute and later had a genuinely crazy lady smear spit, urine, poo and menstrual fluids all over her cell window. Fabreeze worthy? Yes. Detailed blog worthy? Not so much.

In other news, the wifey and I actually have initiated our first ever real life budget! We have never had any issues with money or been in any kind of trouble. We did it for a few reasons. We both just got to the point where we knew we could be doing better with our money, but couldn't really tell how or how much. Another reason was to get a real handle on our money. A big mind game played in the Army is during an athletic competition of some kind, everyone lines up for a race and goes without knowing how far the race is or how fast they should run. I (used) to be a decent runner, so I could just cruise and not worry too much. It drives you crazy, though, not knowing if you are running fast enough or even how far you have to run. It is the same way without a budget. You never know where exactly your money is going, if you are saving enough for specific things or how much you can afford for various stuff. A budget sets some parameters. It feels nice. Another reason is that if we reign in our money, we can give more of it away. Seeing someone smile because of something you did is better than tv.

The B K Broiler Reunion Tour

2009-06-03T03:55:00.010-05:00

I recently returned from a fishing trip in South Dakota with my old jr high/high school gang. It was a lot of fun and brought back some great memories. Here is a photo montage of the trip. Corbin went with me and had a lot of fun. He did pretty good, as I only had to get into his face 2 or 3 times over a 5 day trip. What other place can a five-year-old play with knives, fire, shoot real guns (my glock) and drive a real boat? No place where responsible adults are at, that's for sure. (Notice his "Army" face)

Back in the day we called ourselves the B K Broilers because (I think?) our last names are Brockhaus, Bloom, Batterman and Kumor. Bobby Hike was a later, but much valued, addition. Either that or we all like Burger King. I can't remember. I haven't seen the gang for a few years. It was really fun doing the fishing thing with them again.

These guys were my best friends from mid-elementary school on. We have been through a lot together and they are a big reason why I would love to move back to the motherland (Nebraska) someday. I had a lot of fun and hope to make it up for pheasant season this year!

William Shatner in action

2009-05-16T04:40:00.006-05:00

William Shatner sings Pulp "Common People"
by fab2609

In his book, "Reaching for the Invisible God," Phillip Yancey says that he has two reasons why he is a Christian. One is because of what an incredible man (and God) Jesus was and the second is because of lack of good alternatives. The further down the road I go in my walk with the Man, the more I realize the life of the common man I left behind when I started the journey absolutely sucks. This song summarizes it with "...dance and drink and screw, because there's nothing else to do...watch your life slip out of view...you will never understand what it means to live your life with no meaning..."

Am I a Christian because I want to make up for my 'common man' status in the world? No, I would say partly because of the lack of good alternatives and because even though I am reaching out to an invisible God, God makes (surprisingly) a lot of sense, not to mention the things I honestly believe He has done in me. Holla!!

My style

2009-05-14T05:10:00.003-05:00

Jim Cymbala and Prayer

2009-05-13T02:50:00.004-05:00

I stumbled upon this (dated) sermon from Jim Cymbala, the pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle. It is recounted in a book I read at least 10 or 12 years ago and have reread many times (Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire). It is the best message on the importance of prayer I have ever heard. (It is about 45 min or so) Enjoy

Funny Facebook Conversation

2009-05-09T07:54:00.003-05:00

(I met Randy at a church conference. I told him I would look him up on Facebook when I got back. Here is his response to my friends request. HA!)

Randy Fuller
May 7 at 9:59am
Hey, Joe. You seem like a very interesting person, but I don't know who the hell you are. Do I know you and from where? I may not be the Randy Fuller out of the 100+ you found. Anyway, let me know how you THINK you know me, and we will go from there. Thanks.

Joe Kumor
May 7 at 7:58pm
My bad. You have the same name/city/hair style and goatee as a guy I met at a church conference in Charlotte about a week and a half ago. Your twin showed me around, answered my questions and actually ate lunch with me. I guess my wife is right about my attention to detail. Yikes! Sorry

Randy Fuller
May 8 at 6:45am
Tell your wife she missed it this time. I am the Randy you ate lunch with! Sorry, but I had no idea who you were. I should have remembered your comment about looking me up on facebook.

How was your trip home, and did you find any of the stuff you learned at Thr3e has helped you? BTW, are you in the national guard or armed forces? That threw me too. It was very nice meeting you and I enjoyed answering your questions. Let me know if you have any more. I'm a volunteer, not on staff, so my anwers won't be "official" Elevation answers, but they will definitely be honest. Good hearing from you.

Gone Fishin'

2009-05-09T00:24:00.003-05:00

Last night the kids and I ventured out to the neighborhood pond and tore up the bluegills. The boys learned 3 big things on our trip: 1) You have to watch your bobber, or else dad gets credit for the fish 2) What's the most important thing to bring on a fishing trip?? "SNACKS!" and 3) Hold onto your fishing pole as you cast it. Corbin threw his into the pond. Luckily, he snagged the dock. Unluckily for dad, he remembered to push the button, so I had to pull all his line out of his reel before retrieving the pole. Good times.

Sucessful religious indoctrination

2009-05-01T00:27:00.003-05:00

Tonight Corbin and Toby played in the rain. They were having fun splashing in the water that runs down the sidesof the street when Toby's ghetto croc shot off of his foot and went straight down the gutter. Toby immediately went into hysteria. He was already tired, but he just flipped out. Later, I made them go in and hop in the shower to warm up. Toby was still crying. I heard Corbin say something like this.
"Toby, why are you sad?" Toby: "I LOST MY SHOE!!" Corbin: "I know, I'll pray! God, please give Toby back his shoe. God, it has to happen. You have to get him his shoe back. Please, God. How about this, God, when Toby gets to heaven, please have his shoe for him. How about that, God? Amen. Daddy, Toby is STILL crying!"

Corbin had asked me earlier if God could get Toby's shoe back. I said he could, but probably wouldn't. Corbin was obviously undeterred by my raining on his faith. Pretty interesting. I think at this point, probably because Corbin is a bit older, Corbin buys into the whole God thing a bit more.

Scandalous!!!

2009-05-01T00:23:00.002-05:00

I swiped this from here. Watch and enjoy

More rambling musings of Joe

2009-04-26T02:17:00.004-05:00

As I progress in this seminary thing, I have come to realize some stuff. One of the interesting things for me to think about is the role of clergy and how that intersects with my life. What are pastors (clergy) supposed to do? I guess it looks different depending on the specific job, but I think they are basically in charge of either showing people the way to God or helping them along the way involving methods like preaching, organizing, counseling etc.

Someone at work asked me why I was in seminary. He is a brainy fellow who likes to debate intellectual stuff. I thought about it for a minute and said my main reason is to learn more about God. I said I wasn't satisfied with what I had been taught in church settings and I had a lot of questions. I want to be able to intelligently talk about my faith using reasons other than "just 'cause" as an answer to "why" questions. I felt seminary was a natural path to follow. I said a secondary reason was that I might want to be a chaplain someday and seminary was required to do that.
While I have questions over stuff like Divine Election and various atonement theories, he had a lot broader ones, like not quite being sold on Christianity as the one right religion and UFOs and such. Neither converted the other, but he did invite me to a pre-release screening of the new Star Trek movie complete with a free mystery gift at the door.

If someone feels "called" to Christian ministry, what does that mean? Does that call have to involve ordination? I would say I have felt called for over a decade now and still am not quite sure. If you feel "called" by God, does God care if you are a pastor, missionary, chaplain, a plumber or a stay-at-home dad? Do you get more kudos from God because you were a youth pastor instead of a youth helper? A pastor of a church instead of a Sunday school teacher or small group leader? An ordained minister instead of a Boy Scout leader? "God's call for your life is where the world's needs meet your talents/interests" (or something like) that came from a pretty cool pastor friend of mine a while back.

During a class last semester, we talked about the bad trend of pastors quitting and doing something else after a few years. Is it really that bad? Maybe they were finally fulfilling their plumbing aspirations after dealing with some real peaches at their churches.

(It could just be that I am just miffed at having to miss the Star Trek movie because of a seminary chaplain meeting or I am trying to come up with something to type because an unfinished book review is sitting next to me. Focus, Joe, focus....)

It finally happened

2009-04-23T03:26:00.003-05:00

I am surprised it took this long for one of my boys to flush something (other than a deucer) that would clog the toilet. That has been a constant worry for quite a while. The five year streak of great flushing is over. I spent an hour or so after work last night taking apart our toilet to find an orange stuck at the bottom. Why they flushed an orange, we might never know. Of course, they both deny it. Of course.

I am still trying to find some great theological truth to apply to this situation, but to no avail.

I am looking forward to next week. The wifey and I are taking a trip to North Carolina. I am attending a one day conference while Vanessa gets a whole complete day away from her crazy work and equally crazy kids (but not her equally crazy spouse.) We will actually have a whole 24 hour period together. THAT is pretty out of the ordinary.

On a down note, we just recieved word that on top of not getting a raise this year, we won't get one next year, either. At least there are no plans to lay anyone off. It could be worse.

It's the little things in life...

2009-04-15T02:52:00.004-05:00

Like the Offspring say, sometimes "you just gotta get away." One of my places is at a Royals game. I went tonight for the first time this year. They have really done a nice job with the stadium renovations, by the way. This year, the Royals have upped their pay role to around $70 mil or so, so they aren't as bad as they used to be. I went with Derin, a good friend from church, and his 2 teenagers. (I pawned my kids off on the neighborhood college kid who decided to charge me exactly $0 due to us letting her do her laundry at our house. Score!)

Another place for me is the time honored man-cave, the garage. The other night it was chilly and rainy. I sat in the garage with the door open watching the rain for a while with Gabriella on my lap. She is a pretty chill little girl.

Due to weather, I have yet to wander off to another great getaway of mine: fishing. I don't even go anymore to catch fish. I just like the time spent in the outdoors. Some of my best memories involve fishing. I love it!

Tonight, it is back to work on the remainder of the semester. I am lucky to have such a good job where I can work overnight and take out a lot of homework during it, or at least a little bit before I can't comprehend theological concepts. (usually 4 or 5 am)

In the Bible, some people talk like God is one of those places to get away. Can God be more fulfilling than a sporting event that brings back fond childhood memories of time spent with an earthly dad? Is God more fulfilling than sitting with one's infant daughter under a blanket watching rain at night? Is God more fulfilling than becoming in tune with nature? For people who don't know God, it is probably strange to hear an honest yes, but one of those yes' would come from me. I would say until my time in Iraq I might not have agreed, either. In Iraq, I missed my family, but I needed God. I don't know if I missed any church services over there. Tired, dirty, stressed, I always showed up. I remember thinking my perspective of God was so different than what is was back home. It taught me that God is not only a getaway, but a help in the present as well.

Ok, enough stalling, back to work. School work is not fulfilling.

This circus is really getting crazy

2009-04-12T04:38:00.003-05:00

My life is usually defined as 'another day in the circus.' Well, these last few months have been busier than usual. Besides getting my rear end handed to me via these seminary classes, I am now also dealing with switching from evenings to midnights. I have concluded the last few video posts (minus the 'tumor' one) have been my subconscious attempt to return to normal/enjoyable (easy) life in the military. Pretty interesting if you think about it.

Anyway, a few days ago I turned in my 10 page review of a book for class. "God is Not...Religious, Nice, “One of Us,” an American, a Capitalist" was an interesting book. I will not bore you with the full paper or even what I thought about it. You can probably get a better review of it from amazon. That is what kind of sucks about school. I get they want me to learn a bunch of great stuff from these books, but I have done a great job through the years of education of just doing enough to check the block. I read the whole thing and completed the review in one day. Was it quality? Of course, but probably not as good as it could be. Does it matter? Probably not. It was a bunch of essays written by various current church leaders ranting about how the modern church is way off base.

I am probably just burnt out from this semester with 4 weeks still to go mixed with currently being disillusioned with the religious education process. I am back to my old place of realizing the value of tedious study but dreading it none the less. I am also at the point of looking at how far I have gone in my seminary studies and how far I have to go. (Depressing)

I was thinking the other day about seminary, God, life, Army chaplaincy, careers, money, my kids, Vanessa, my job, my friends and other things. I have these one liners that float around in my head like a comet that zings around the solar system. Every once in a while, one actually applies. Here are a few: "If you want to make anything of yourself, you have to be organized to do it" and "If you want to be really useful in life, you have to prepare for it."

Both of those really apply to me right now. I am learning time management and organization like I have never learned them before. It also helps me to realize that if I really want to help people like I want to, I am going to have to buckle down even more and apply myself to this sometimes annoying, useless, time/money-wasting endeavor of schooling. However, along the way, I will realize even more how useful, maturing, knowledge and character building and mentally toughening it is to complete school with a job and a family.

I tell you what, though, seminary has given me a real appreciation for the church and liturgy. Today happens to be a huge day, baby. "Christ, our Lord, is risen today! Hallelujah!"

Allegedly, I should be quite a guy when I am done with seminary, even more so if I put a little more effort into my work. Allegedly.

"It's not a tooma"

2009-03-22T22:34:00.001-05:00

All Kumors will appreciate this...

And yes, it is a Kooma

A cool Iraq video

2009-03-16T23:46:00.002-05:00

The theology of theology of theology

2009-03-15T22:59:00.008-05:00

First of all, seminary is no joke. I stated this last fall at the beginning of my first semester. It is still true. I have never failed anything in school. I came close in high school with advanced English, but that was due to my total laziness and inability to make myself do homework. Last semester I had to drop Hebrew because I honestly could not keep up. I studied more in the first three weeks of that class than in my whole lifetime of school combined. (That includes my bachelors) This semester I am only taking 2 classes (6 hours) and I am still almost overwhelmed.

Seminary is challenging for me for a few reasons. #1 is the amount of reading necessary. #2 is the level of the reading. Do you really think a guy named Allister McGrath can write a 450 page book and call it "Intro to Christian Theology" and say it is for beginner students? What, MIT students? I can knock out a Harry Potter book in one sitting, but this beast had plagued me for a month now and I am barely through the first half. It is only one of 11 books required for this semester. #3 is the level of assignments. I just gave a 35 min presentation (complete with power point, handouts and a 7 page summary paper) over counseling dual income families in the church. I still have about 60+ pages worth of research papers due in the next 5 weeks.

However, seminary has been one of the best things to happen to me for a few reasons. One, I cannot skate by without learning anything. (unlike college) I have to set aside a lot of time to complete my assignments. I would rather take a bunch of tests than write papers. Here, there are a lot more papers. It is good for me, even though it is hard.

Two, I enjoy theology. I am interested in this God to whom I have pledged my allegiance. I really think it is important to understand what you believe, why you believe it and what others have to say about it. Seminary does that for me. I learned more about the church last semester in Theology of Church and Ministry than in my whole life of going to church. This semester of Intro to Theology has let me start to realize the complexities of Christian theology. It is like I used to have this small and narrow idea of what following God was all about. Now I realize I was just scratching the surface.

I don't want to be static in life. I want to always be chasing goals. My goals right now involve learning more about God and His followers we call the church, learning what it means for me to be a Christ follower and being a stellar husband and dad. There are just a few times in my life where I have felt I am pretty close to where God wants me to be. I think I am there right now. I think I have found something that seriously challenges me in seminary classes. I kind of enjoy that. When I start to feel overwhelmed, I can feel competitive juices start to flow and the words to Johnny Cash's song, "I Won't Back Down" (see the player on the right at #19) go through my head. I can say that with all my busyness and big challenges in life right now, I honestly feel the most fulfilled I have felt in a long time. (Or, I am just to busy to dwell on whining about not feeling fulfilled, could be either)

Yo, Joe!

2009-03-11T18:40:00.004-05:00

Even though I can't look at anything now without thinking about theology, (thanks a lot, seminary)I can still appreciate an awesome Army commercial (even if the theology is a little screwy.)
I still agree with its premise, that the Army will change you into a stronger person. While I think God has a lot to do with things here on this green earth, the greatest military force on the planet is made up of some remarkable people who have some of the greatest internal strength you will ever see. They get it from experiences you can only dream of, and some of those experiences aren't that much fun.
Basically, commercials like this makes me miss it.

Chicken Fried

2009-03-01T18:26:00.001-06:00

Zac Brown Band More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

The fear of failure

2009-02-15T16:11:00.003-06:00

"Example of a bad reason to fear failure: 'If this doesn’t work out, we’re going to look stupid.' This variety of fear reflects pride, self-regard, and an unhealthy obsession with making sure you look good."

That's a pretty interesting quote I found here. I have a pretty big fear of failure. I have always wondered why. I figured it was because I am kind of insecure of myself at times. I have always wondered why. I figured I was/am insecure at times because I want approval from people, which makes me want to do everything perfect. If I can't do it perfect, I have a hard time even trying it and I can get discouraged easily. I have always wondered how people can be so confident in doing new and difficult things with a lot of responsibility. Unless I am really good at it, I am really scared of making mistakes or not earning those whom are involved approval. I know the only way to get good at something is to do it, but that is kind of not the point. Why am I scared in the first place?

According to this quote (by Steve Furtick, a 30-year-old pastor of a few thousand), my kind of fear is an indicator of pride, self regard, and an unhealthy obsession with making sure I look good. I agree I probably do have an unhealthy obsession with looking good. Why? My best guess (from multiple counseling books and a few visits to professors' offices) is that I have been wired into a performanced-based worldview. I do good? Pat on the back and perceived love from those I look up to. I mess up? Disapproval and perceived loss of love from those I want love from. I want approval. How do I get it? Do everything right. What a burden!

The solution? As a Christian, I don't have to live like this. I know God has said He loves me even before I gave myself to Him. Because of that, He loves me the same no matter what choices I make or how I perform. He has a will for my life and is disappointed when I make wrong choices, but He loves me just the same. His love is the meal from which I eat and am never hungry or thirsty again. If I eat at the table of approval from people, I constantly need more because it can't satisfy like God can. I am not completely sure how it all works, but it certainly seems to.

What would this look like if this took hold in my life? It is hard to say. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid to talk about God to people. Maybe I wouldn't be so scared to lead people in areas where I am unsure of myself. Maybe I could be more organized without the fear of not even living up to my own expectations.

It is hard for me to transfer truth like this into my C drive. It seems to be a slow process with a lot reboots. In Christian talk, I think this is where the Holy Spirit has to work with me into really accepting this concept of approval and love even if I fail. It is actually a pretty liberating thing to think about and (I'm sure) an awesome way to live.

Kids and their questions

2009-02-11T18:10:00.003-06:00

We talk about God a lot in our house. Before bedtime and before meals, we always pray. We listen to a lot of Christian radio. I read them portions of the Bible at bedtime sometimes. While Toby's main concerns in life are the whereabouts of his 2-3 favorite toys and where his next meal is coming from, Corbin asks a lot of questions. Here are a few:
-Where is God?
-Why won't God let me see Him?
-What does God do?
-What is a soul?
-What is the 'valley of the shadow of death?' Are there tickle monsters there?
-If heaven is so good, why don't we kill ourselves so we can get there quicker?
-Will there be lots of skipping rocks in heaven?
-Why are you so mean sometimes?

Continuing on the 'mean' issue, I was talking to one of his preschool teachers the other day. She said they noticed a "180 degree change" from his playground-incident-with-a-note-home issue a few months ago. The first thing he tells me when I pick him up is that he listened to his teachers that day. Score one for over-disciplining

Toby does some funny things in the morning (or so V tells me.) I guess yesterday V got Toby up for school. Usually the boys are grumpy and curl up on the couch for a while. Toby went back to bed, wrapped up in a blanket and curled up in a ball in the corner of the top bunk so V couldn't reach him. Ha!