Pseudo Supermum

2008-07-24T12:19:00.007+01:00

Sound advice (from Monageer Boolavogue Monamolin Amenity Group Newsletter)

We are just back from our Irish holiday in Courtown (near Wexford). I've done eight loads of washing and a MOUNTAIN of ironing since our return. Now for the weekly online shopping. But before that, I'll share this little piece of advice with you - I thought it was good:-

Difficult children, like difficult laundry, can turn out great if given special attention, before the stains set.

2008-07-06T20:19:00.004+01:00

Gulp! Two of the family passports expired at the end of June. On Tuesday I'll be impoverishing myself getting "same day" renewals. If I was richer, it wouldn't hurt so much! But what else can I do?

There's too much happening this week. Physio. Audiology. Doctoral end-of-year assessment. Preparing for the family holiday.

I was challenged to learn to play the pipes before we went to Fingal's Cave. (In Victorian times, tourists took a piper with them to play in the cave, so they could hear the echo. That's tourism for you!) I want to hear that echo - but I cannae play the pipes! I can get a tune from a chanter. I can fill the pipes with air. But as for getting:-

the equivalent of an octopus with rigor mortis under my arm,

the pipe into my mouth,

three drones over my shoulders,

and my fingers round the chanter at the other end of the bag ...

and then PLAY the thing ...

... well, how am I supposed to coordinate all that?!

2008-06-08T22:34:00.003+01:00

Dad's funeral took place in Horsham St Faith's, Norfolk, on Friday 6th June. We drove down from Scotland on Thursday, and back again on Saturday.

On Thursday evening, SuperSpouse and I went to the funeral parlour to see Dad one last time. He looked peaceful - we were glad to have gone.

Everything went according to plan on Friday. The church was full - it was heartwarming to realise how many people had turned out to commemorate a long life, well-lived.

My uncle gave an affectionate eulogy; I read a psalm; and Cello-Kid played the cello very movingly. Super-Spouse played the organ. Everything had been chosen by Pa.

The family went out for a meal in the evening, which was a good end to the day, even though we didn't really have much of an appetite. It was certainly better than sitting around in the house.

We both played at church this morning, but were really too tired. By the end of the weekend, we're both literally just wrung out! I think we just need time to rest.

2008-05-30T23:12:00.003+01:00

The order of service is done - in its first draft. I have to wait for my Mum to send me the hymn texts so I can check that the words in Dad's old Baptist hymnal are the same as the ones in the slightly newer Anglican one.

That's how I spent most of my evening. My lunchtime was busy too, though: I bought smart new shirts for the boys, and took SuperSpouse's suit to the dry-cleaners.

I haven't done any research all week. Perhaps this isn't surprising. Maybe I should call it officially a week off, then I wouldn't have to agonise about why I've done nothing. I have had other things on my mind.

The picture is Horsham St Faiths Parish Church, where the funeral will take place next Friday, 6th June.

2008-05-29T23:12:00.003+01:00

One day on, and I'm making progress.

* I've heard back from the vicar;
* I've found the perfect outgoing organ voluntary (a setting of the hymn my father specified);
* and I've asked Mum to send me the hymns.
* I've got the cover of the order of service almost perfect
* and the rest is just waiting for me to put in the hymn texts.

2008-05-28T22:31:00.003+01:00

I'm so tired! I was up late last night sorting out Dad's list of hymns etc that he wanted for his funeral. As the only member of his family who attends church - not to mention being an organist myself - it has fallen to me to sort out details of the service with the vicar. And I want it to be "just right", naturally.

I found perfect CD tracks for the crematorium committal service - I'm quietly proud of that. So today, I emailed the vicar and sent the CDs to the undertaker, and must now just wait patiently.

Time for an early night!

2008-05-25T18:16:00.004+01:00

My dear father, Revd. Ronald Eric Manley, died this afternoon at 2.20 pm in the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital after a series of mini-strokes, and many years of poor health. That he lived to the age of 81 is a tribute to a vast number of different health professionals.

Gifted musician, modern languages teacher and United Reformed Church minister, he led a full and active life and touched the lives of many.

This morning - knowing I was likely to hear the worst today - the words of the Nunc Dimittis came to mind - "Lord, now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace." And he has. The struggle is over.

2008-05-06T22:43:00.010+01:00

WHAT A BANK HOLIDAY!

SuperSpouse went to Croydon then Dover yesterday, so he and his pals could ride the Belgian Coast Tram today.

Last night, therefore, it was me that took Cello-Kid back to his halls of residence. Got halfway there, had to turn round for a black shirt that he needed, then back to the halls we went again ... Boys!

Today? This morning I insisted we had to be out of the house by 7.50 am. I was ready and shouting for the boys by 8 am. They had already been ready for at least 5 minutes but spent another ten buzzing up and down stairs getting things they'd forgotten.

Off we went. I didn't know there was a diversion meaning I couldn't go along the Renfrew Road. Back we went and tried a different way. Reached the childminder, late. I was then seriously delayed in traffic. Got to work a mere 5 minutes late, which was a miracle but not good enough. At least I didn't get ticked off. (I'm a grown woman, a professional career-woman, of nearly 50, but scared of getting in trouble for poor timekeeping. Wo-man or wo-mouse?)

The working day was unremarkable. I got in the car and set off to collect the boys from the childminder. I thought I had an hour to take them to McDonald's and then to the school concert. Not so. Traffic was horrendous. When I got to the childminder's, Viola-Kid informed me that he had to be at school half an hour early. Right. We did it, somehow, guzzle guzzle guzzle ...

Eventually, we got back home again after the concert. SuperSpouse rang up to say he'd been to Belgium and back, but somewhere since leaving Glasgow airport, he has lost his car-key. And he didn't care about my stupid, pathetic failure to get out of the house on time because anything I had to say was unimportant and petty. And all my own fault in any case. Right again.

Well, since then I've found the spare car keys. After which, I discovered that Viola-Kid actually had homework to do ... and while I was being berated for my inadequacies, the boys had done their own thing so now Saxophone-Kid AND Viola-Kid were late for bed.

Excuse me while I scream. They only have to be up EARLIER than 7 am tomorrow morning, so we can be out of the house EARLIER than 8.10 am and I can get to work EARLIER than 5 minutes late.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhh!

Okay, I'll go and have a coffee then a bath. I think I've had enough of today.

2008-04-26T22:41:00.003+01:00

This week it was Viola-Kid's birthday. He got an X-box, which he's delighted with - but he's not letting his brothers near it. The shouting and arguments are driving us demented. No-one said parenting was easy, but does it have to be so HARD? Sometimes I feel as though I'm his least favourite person in the world.

I'm so tired! I've given four presentations in three weeks, in Canterbury, Plockton and Glasgow. Today I gave the last two of them. They all went well, and I got good feedback.

I'm sad. After a good day talking about research with kindred spirits, I should be feeling up-beat. Instead, I'm knackered and depressed.

It's Viola-Kid's birthday treat tomorrow. I hope I at least get that right! Wish me luck.

2008-04-12T21:50:00.005+01:00

This weekend, I'm at the International Association of Music Librarians (UK & Ireland Branch) Annual Study Weekend at the University of Kent in Canterbury.
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Flickr image from Robjtak, with thanks.

2008-03-02T20:20:00.002Z

It's Mother's Day in the UK. Yesterday, I got flowers and a fabulous pair of earrings. This morning, SuperSpouse gave me a card, then off he went to church. I tidied up after our breakfast then woke the boys.

Cello-Kid gave me a card from all three of them, but forgot to tell his brothers. The middle one didn't speak to me for the next hour, and the little one gave me a row for waking him up, but not telling him to get dressed and have breakfast. (He's NINE! He knows he has to get dressed and have breakfast before we go to church ...)

That was a good start, wasn't it?!

There were two baptisms at church today, but Mother's Day never got a mention. And when we got home, I sorted more washing, cooked lunch, made bread and a cake for tea. It was shaping up to be a normal day. Then the rain began. Oh, woe!

I'd hoped we would go out for afternoon tea, but it didn't look promising. However, I'm happy to relate that the weather dried up, and we had a wonderful afternoon tea in a tea-shop that we hadn't been to in about 13 years! So the day wasn't quite such a wash-out after all. Phew!

2008-03-01T11:03:00.004Z

Hallelujah! Viola-Kid has a second audition to music school.

(Please keep praying and hoping, while we keep practising.)

Image - acknowledgements to ultimastanza.net

2008-02-27T23:19:00.002Z

BLOCKED!

I went to two postgrad courses today - one on writer's block, and the other on editing, proofreading and referencing.

They never had courses like this when I was a postgrad the first time round! The "Blocked" course was possibly the most useful. It was good being obliged to sit and think about the reasons for NOT sitting down and writing.

I dutifully came up with all the reasons, such as lacking in confidence, feeling as though you're not yet ready, not yet equipped with all the facts, etc, etc. Then I started thinking about other reasons - like, not having enough time. Feeling that I had to get all my domesticity up to date before I could allow myself to think serious Doctoral Thoughts, and so on.

"Not enough time?!", another student commented. "That's not an excuse - anyone can see you don't have enough time!" So there we are - I'm officially time-challenged! Can anyone tell me where I can gain a few hours a week? (You'll agree that I am blogging far less frequently these days, as it is ... )

Right. It's late. I've done nothing doctoral this evening. Instead, I've taken Small-Fry to Boys' Brigade, come home with Viola-Kid and wrapped up two birthday presents, written three cards, set up Mum's new Mothering Sunday phone, fetched Small-Fry home again, organised supper, a viola practice session and two boys to bed. True - I don't have much time to myself!

2008-02-24T21:16:00.007Z

WOMEN ARE GREAT AT MULTI-TASKING ... aren't we?

So I sit down to help Small-Fry with his piano practice. No, wait a minute - I can deal with paperwork at the same time, so long as it doesn't involve too much concentration.

"Mum - can you fill in this permission slip?"
"Mum - here are details of our Festival entry."
"Mum - - - "
"Hello! Are you there? Hey, answer me!"

"I'm LISTENING TO SMALL-FRY'S PIANO PRACTICE!!!"

Just a minute. "Hey, Viola-Kid! You've done plenty of viola-playing, but shouldn't you do a bit of guitar practice today?"

"Mum - - - "

This image is from Seriykotik1970's photostream at YouTube. Stormy sky to convey the atmosphere when I suggested the "P" word - practice. Groans all round!

2008-02-23T16:59:00.007Z

Twirling like a top again, Saxophone-Kid and I have been family chauffeurs again today:-

But first, I made lentil soup, set the bread machine going, and processed some laundry.

Took Viola-Kid to orchestra;
Took SuperSpouse's suit to the cleaner;
Took Cello-Kid to his music course;
Failed to find Cello-Kid's cello mute. He thought it was still on the old cello that is waiting for someone to buy it from the music shop. We went. It wasn't. The shop didn't have any new cello mutes either;
Took Viola-Kid for his guitar lesson;
Got Cello-Kid's phone topped up;

Any wonder I've had a tension headache all afternoon?!

Image thanks to epicurious.blogs.com

2008-02-22T23:34:00.008Z

Keep praying and/ or hoping!

"Dear Lord, If it is Your will that this is to happen, then we trust that you will make it possible. If it is not Your will, then please help us to accept it, and to trust that you have another grand plan that we don't even know about yet. Amen."

The audition was on Wednesday. Now we have to wait to see if there will be a second audition (which would be good news) or not (bad).

No-one knows what to expect. The suspense is killing us!

2008-02-17T13:52:00.004Z

If you have a faith, please pray! (If not, then just hope hard ...)

This is the countdown. Viola-Kid has his first music school audition on Wednesday morning.

Please pray (or hope) for dedication, determination, application ...

Not forgetting patience, toleration and encouragement from us, his parents and brothers!

Can't ask for much more than that, really. If he gets through to the second auditions, then we'll need a double dose of the same. Here's hoping (and praying).

2008-02-16T21:45:00.008Z

I have to get this off my chest!

I took a half-day's holiday yesterday afternoon, in order to get everything ready for my two biggest boys to go to Glencoe outdoor education centre for the weekend. Then, once I had dropped them off at the meeting point, I planned to go home and have four hours peacefully doing my research. Meanwhile, SuperSpouse and Saxophone-Kid would go to see The Wizard of Oz.

Everything went according to plan.

EXCEPT! a nasty little tyke repeatedly kicked my middle son's shin, when they were playing football after schoo - and Middleman ended up having great difficulty walking.

So - was he in a fit state to go to Glencoe? No. We took his big brother to the meeting-point, then I took Middleman to Accident and Emergency at our local hospital. Three hours later, we had established that he only had soft-tissue injuries (as I thought) - but there was little point in driving to catch up with the rest of the group in the Highlands, if he wasn't fit.

Our childminder phoned the parents of the NLT. But when they tackled him, he developed convenient amnesia. A dishonest NLT, indeed.

Middleman was upset at missing something he'd looked forward to. We were upset for him, upset that we'd committed £85, and furious at the NLT.

AND I had lost my peaceful, studious evening.

24 hours later, the suffering sportsman has conceded that his leg is less painful now, which is a good sign. However, he found himself playing Gooseberry to our Valentine's meal this evening, because we had made arrangements for his little brother to go to a friend's house, but we hadn't bargained on Middleman being around at all!

Even the Valentine's meal didn't go according to plan. I phoned the restaurant to book a third place, and it was all sorted out. Until we got there, to be told that children weren't allowed in the restaurant after 8 pm. Humph. Luckily, I came up with a Plan B, and we went to our favourite Indian restaurant - which just happened to be five minutes' drive from Saxophone-Kid's friend's house.

And now, at 10 pm, I suppose I ought, belatedly, to do some research. If I can find the energy and motivation to get started ...

Images from flickkgrr, ~bunny~, and outnbout, all on flickr.com, with thanks.

2008-02-10T16:38:00.000Z

What a woman's left hand is for

You don't realise how useful your hands are, until something happens to them. My carpal tunnel operation has certainly fixed the problem - I managed to sew name-tapes into five pairs of socks with no pins and needles, the other night. The first time in years, I might add.

But some tasks are now off-limit until I regain the strength in my wrist.

Ironing

Holding a full jug or kettle

Using the handbrake (but I manage fine by using both hands)

Lifting anything heavy

Using a computer keyboard in short bursts is seen as good physiotherapy. Well, naturally, that's how I use a computer. I use it all day at work - in short bursts, of course - and quite regularly at home. So why, oh why, should it be uncomfortable playing the piano or organ? I can play easy stuff. I can play difficult stuff. But if I play difficult stuff, then my wrist protests. ("Give me a rest, I'm not ready for this yet.")

I'll keep this short - why should I not blog in short bursts, too?!

Image from Alberta Bible College, with thanks.

2008-02-09T16:59:00.000Z

Tell me something:

Why does Mother Nature arrange for mothers to reach the perimenopause at precisely the same time as their kids reach puberty? Is she having a laugh at humankind's expense?

Of course, this only happens because we women have claimed our right to work! We marry later, have kids later ...

Oh, and by the way - now that we're so modern and advanced, Mother Nature has also arranged that we will be looking after our elderly parents at the same time as we're balancing the tightrope of simultaneous perimenopause and puberty.

I have struggled and worked to get to where I am. I'll go on struggling and working to get to where I feel I should be. But I have to say that it's an uphill struggle!

The image is from the National Association for Premenstrual Syndrome, a UK organisation. I hope they won't mind. It looks a very useful group, and I may well revisit the website!

2008-02-03T11:24:00.000Z

Voluntary redundancies

Do those words strike a chill into your bones? You bet! As does the inevitable threat that, if this doesn't achieve savings, then ...

I would like to log the story here as it unfolds - not just the facts, but also my reactions. However, I can't. Just keep an eye open for media reports.

You can imagine the atmosphere - it really isn't necessary to describe it in detail here.

2008-01-29T10:50:00.000Z

Hey, Sisters!

I'm feeling hard-done-by. SuperSpouse commented - and I had to agree - that our stairs were looking scruffy. He has arthritic knees. I have a surgical dressing on one hand. No choice. I got the hand-held vacuum out, and went as far UP as I could go, before I ran out of flex. I've never vacuumed right-handed before.

Then I went upstairs, plugged in, and started on my way DOWN. Supervisor SuperSpouse appears on the scene, and minutely inspects the middle section.

"YOU'VE MISSED A BIT HERE!"

My response was to sweep up all the books, files and papers awaiting his attention, and dump them on the bed. "And this is what the vacuum wouldn't pick up."

Honestly, men! They're not brought up to be helpful, are they?!

2008-01-26T22:03:00.000Z

SLOWLY BUT SURELY ...

I went back to work yesterday, wearing my sling so that underground passengers would (hopefully) give me a wide berth. It worked - a nice man offered me a seat on the way home. Just as well - I can't stand and hold a handrail, and I wouldn't want to fall against my hand if I lost my balance.

My hand is improving. I can't open a tin of Weight Watchers tuna salad or lift a mug, but I can type. (Good physiotherapy in short bursts, the consultant said.) I can't wash up. I can't iron. I can't hang up washing. Poor SuperSpouse.

This morning, he went to the Transport Museum while I pottered at home with the kids. I didn't take Viola-Kid to orchestra, and felt slightly guilty - but if I'd taken him by bus, I'd have had to hang around until it was over. It's been a wet, horrible day - it just seemed like one thing too many.

This afternoon, Viola-Kid, Saxophone-Boy and I went first to Viola-Kid's guitar lesson and then to Saxophone-Boy's optician's appointment, whilst SuperSpouse took Cello-Kid to the Cello-repair man to get the spike seen to. What a rush! But we made it, and were home at a sensible time for tea.

And I've printed out my transcription of Alexander Campbell's 1815 travel journal - 26,000+ words of it, over 48 typed pages. Boy, do I feel proud of myself! I've marked up any words I find hard to read. I've highlighted any passages about his music collecting for his Albyn's Anthology. And now I can tidy up my desk and start getting my research (and the rest of my life) back in order. I've been totally obsessive about this transcription, but then again, I do want to publish it one day - so it was worth it.

2008-01-23T14:45:00.000Z

Cut Up

On Monday I got 36 hours' notice to go and get a carpal tunnel release operation this morning. No time to panic - barely time to get organised.

Then yesterday, Viola Kid's brace needed a repair - nothing for it, I had to take time off to take him to the orthodontist, knowing I wouldn't be able to drive today. Worked very late to make up the time.

Here I am, home again - very numb - having been told not to drive for TWO weeks. What on earth am I to do?

Worse, for the next couple of days I'm typing one-handed with the left arm in a sling. This is dreadful! I can't touch-type with only one hand. And it feels as though I'm going cross-eyed, peering at the keyboard. I only want to get on with my transcription of Alexander Campbell's journal!

Someone say something encouraging, please!

2008-01-20T23:29:00.001Z

Somewhere in the Western Isles ...

I've been transcribing an early nineteenth century travel journal, in connection with my doctoral research. I'm utterly transfixed by it - I have now typed nearly 20,000 words of it. That's about 71%. I can barely drag myself away. His name is Alexander Campbell, and he travelled over 1200 miles, mostly on foot, collecting Gaelic music in the Highlands and Islands in 1815. (The hyperlink gives you information derived from the Gazetteer for Scotland, and is on the http://www.angusahead.com/ website.)

To my horror, the CD-rom scanned copy is missing two sides - I'm sure only by accident, since it amounts to the left and right sides of the opened journal, rather than a missing leaf. SuperSpouse is politely amused by my extreme frustration that I've been deprived of these vital pages until I can get hold of them. Watch this space.

My hero, notwithstanding this inconvenience, has just survived a horrendous storm and has been drinking the parson's best "Conniack" (well, this is a Highlander describing a French tipple!) before retiring to bed early for the night.

I have NOT been enduring a storm (though the roofer is returning tomorrow to fix our guttering and sundry bits of masonry after a storm about 10 days ago) - but I'm going to follow my hero's example and suggest to SuperSpouse that we should enjoy a very nice Mosel wine before similarly retiring to bed.

The image is a cartoon of Alexander Campbell (on the left, playing a portable organ), together with his brother and a friend.