Drunk With Mocha ♥ Konea K :)

My bie. :)

2009-11-14T19:24:00.002+08:00

Nothing beats the feeling of being loved.
Loved by someone you never thought would.
:)
Aaahhh.
I've learned to accept. Haha.
♥
Me love you bie.

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

I ♥ you Mr.A. :)
The world might not know you just yet, but they will. Somehow they will.

Woaaah.

2009-11-13T10:16:00.003+08:00

1. I'm surrounded by love.
2. I need to shove them away.
3. My love is coming back soon! :D
4. I'm not ready to meet love.
5. Love is crazy.
6. I can't believe I don't believe in love.
7. Love exists.
8. Eating healthy IS LOVE!
9. Water is LOOOVE.
10. Tracklover, is my current love. Bieeee! ♥
hahahahahahahahaha.

Love love love.
Loooveee Looooveee Looooveeee. :)

:D School's OVERRRR!
Holidays = LOOOOVEEEE! :P
Training mode: ON!

Finally, THANK GOD! We won! ♥

2009-11-11T13:34:00.004+08:00

After 3 years of competing, finally on the 3rd year, WE WON! =)

Kadet Remaja Sekolah (KRS) was crowned as the overall champion for the first time! :P
*Which I lead, for the first time ever! MUAHAHAHAH*

Thank you to everyone for the support!
To those who wished us before and after the competition, thank you, THANK YOU!
And also to my loved ones, haha, I know right, we won? Thank you for the wish!
Although it was a last minute preparation*again*, I'm really proud of my girls. I didn't expect them to do so well like they did! I was having goosebumps while I was giving the commands. *uiseh*.
I didn't expect us to win. There was a team who was far better than us, that's what I thought at first.
But I guess I was wrong. We did good. =)

I AM SO HAPPY!
This is the reason why I'm living. To achieve success. HAHAHAHA! :)

:D
*sigh*
I love my members.
I hope I did good as a captain. =)
I am so sorry if I shouted in your faces! haha! :)
You girls did well! Thank you for coming for all the practice sessions, and thanks for cooperating with me! :P
Life's good. =)

I can't stop SMIIIILIIINNGGGGG!
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Oops.

2009-11-10T22:44:00.001+08:00

He's my bie, I'm his tracklover.
Nuff said. :)

Weeeeeee haha!

2009-11-10T08:39:00.003+08:00

*Jumps around in a happy mode!*
Working out does the body goooooooood. :) Black coffee's nice! And, love is awesome.
But losing someone you love kills tho. So I'd prefer to love the people who loves me :)

I'm sticking with diarist, because he won't hurt me. I hope?
I'm holding on to panda, because no matter what, he'll try his best to keep me safe.
I'm hanging out with my girls, because they curve a huge smile on my face!
I don't mind arguing with my family members, after all, they are a part of me.
I can't take people who tend to hurt me, so I'm just gonna let it be, smile, and just watch them run their lives.
I'm the one who made a mistake. So I deserve to have this.
I've made a lot of mistakes. A lot. a lot lot lot lot.
I want to be happy again! I wanna be meeeeeeeee.

If there was a right solution to this thing, it would be me telling myself 'NO'. Being the 'I think it'll be fine' girl that I am, it's as if I'm creating my own 'tsunami'. Okay whatever I just said. I'm blogging with pure coffee in my system okay. I love love love loooove coffee! I can live with coffee alone. In a day, without consuming any food. Will that work? Haha!

I had the sweetest sleep last night. A sleep without any dreams, oh my god, HEAVEN! I can't stand sleeping and having dreams, especially dreams which tends to jump from one story to another ! Don't you ever feel so exhausted when you dream? It's like you're doing you're daily routine as usual, but IN YOUR SLEEP! Sleeps are meant for us to rest our mind and body. Dreaming does not help! Dammit. Dreams which involves the guy of your dreams, that's a good dream, but it gives u false hope. Hahaha! Guys like that don't exist. *sigh* I'm only 15~ 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 ~ Wait till I'm. . . at LEAST 18. hahahaha!

Si Arizan bilang:
"Nanti lepas 20, kalau break, susah suda mau cari tu!"

Kimek.

HAHAHAHAHA! If laidat, no need lah. No need. No neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. I want money. I love money. I must HAVE MONEY. Once I have money, I'll have my own Beemer, then I'll get my own house. I will live ALL ON MY OWN. Then next, my own GYM. Wait, that should come first since that's where I'll get the money to get my CAR and MY HOUSE. hahahahaha! :D Then then, okay and then wat? Sigh.

Dreams. DREAAMMMS DREAAMS DREAAAMS.

After all the dreaming and stuff, and once u got it, in the end you'll need an other half right? DAMN IT. Why am I trying so so so so soooo hard to push love away? Shooooooooo! =( It's because LOVE IS EVIL! LOVE IS WICKED. LOVE IS A WITCH! Buek. BUEEEKKKKK.

Cause two is better than one? Oh really? Why don't I believe in that anymore?
I seriously think I'm gonna grow 20 and still have no love. HAHAHAHA!
:D Strict oh saya kan?
I wonder who'll get my heart? I wonder who, and I wonder how?

Because. I don't want something that stays for a month ONLY and then THAT'S IT.
I want something that goes on for years, and if possible which lasts a lifetime. Why? Because, YES, I'm that old-fashioned girl. I want MY FAIRYTALE. Hahahahaha! I can't love one, and then move on to one. When I say 'I love you', I mean it. I think about it. I have a thought about it first. But when I said it, but then realize it's not worth it, that's when I know, IT'S A MISTAKE. I don't regret, I just feel stupid. I don't get angry, I just feel bad for myself. Haha. My luck's always like this. Sigghhh mengapakah?

"Bagus lagi saya bercerita sama si diary 24 jam sehari...... Ada faedah lagi. "

I'm not gonna be alone. Kenapalah teda this, or teda that. I don't need them. I want a permanent dose of happiness, not one that stays for a week or two, then it turns into something so bitter which leaves you crumbling. Haihhhh. I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I'm just gonna say it.

I don't believe in love anymore. Nuff said. =)

I'm capable of loving, but I'm not capable of believing it.

"Oh crap, KONEA KAMIN DOESN'T BELIEVE IN LOVE!"

hahahahahahaha!

Again, the caffeine's doing the blogging mind you. :P

I do not know how to face you. I don't know how to say it. I don't know what will I do. I may fall all over again or I may just walk pass by you. I have no idea what's gonna happen. I really have no idea. I do not know what's all this. This moment I'm having, it's MY reality check. It was a fantasy back when you were here, was just so perfect.
I got my wake up call.

"Haih, kicik2 pun mau bersinta. Budu. "
HAHAHAHA!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What should I do today?

First and foremost:
Get my shower. HAHAHAHAHA! It's almost 10 and I'm still covered in sweat. Exercise bahhhh~

Then?
I'll be:
Cleaning the house. Too many dust bunnies.
Texting people. :D
Maybe blog again.
Facebook-ing.
Make lunch for myself.
Probably read some books.
Get myself some coffee. Or maybe not? Does coffee make you fat?
Then maybe I'll be clearing my room.
Eat chewing gum?
Hahaha!
Man I'm really bad in planning my daily routine. *sigh*

Evening, weight training.
WEIGHT TRAINING! ♥
Can't wait for the school holidays. Pagi, petang, malam, TRAIIINIIIINNGGGG!
Heaven. :)

Chow mochaaa~ :)

Good Morning Sunday :)

2009-11-08T07:49:00.004+08:00

This one's gonna be a proper post. I promise. :) The posts before this were just posted to express how I really felt, I couldn't get them into words because what I felt was just too deep. Haha! I'm only 15 and I'm already feeling things. Imagine what it would be when I'm 20? I think I have a high chance of becoming someone really psychotic nieeee. . . :P

Happy Sunday everyone! =)

I have to say the truth that right after PMR, everything in my life just went terribly wrong. As if I have nothing to look forward to and I couldn't get back on track. Training was just hell and of course my performance sucked so badly that it was a wake up call for me. Every morning was hell. I had to drag myself up every morning to go to school cos I know, school's just hell for these past few weeks. The school planned some good activities for us, at least they 'sound' good but they failed to carry those plans out the right way. It all just went so wrong and we, the students, had to bear with angry teachers, not to mention them pushing us here and there. I'd rather go through PMR once more than having to deal with them, and I'm saying this straight from my heart. I'm not mentioning any names, but majority of the students just dislike this oneeeeeee teacher cos of her attitude. *sigh* Everything's just so right when it comes to what she says, even though its obviously wrong! And the school IS TERRIBLE in managing their own schedules. All the activities clashed with each other. For instance, they want us to practice our marching formations because we only have like what, less than 5 days to practice? BUT! They didn't even provide us the time to practice! And they expect us to do well. I'll never hire these kind of people when I'm on top one day. I'm seriously pissed. I love my school, but I loathe how the school manages us , the students. I am pissed. This is why I am so fatigue everyday, I can't even do well in my training becos of this SHIT. Emo moment number 1.

Emo moment number 2. I've made so many mistakes this yeaarrrr! After letting go of my other half *sort of*, troubles just couldn't seem to stop coming! I know. . . I know. . . It's just not the right thing when you guys see it in your way, but as for me, it was the right, 'betul', and 'tepat' thing to do. Okay. That's when I thought my problem was solved. Then I got into another one, I have no idea why do I have to always get stuck into people's business. I didn't mean to, it's just my luck! Damn it. Maybe God just didn't want me to let go of my 'other half' just yet. Whatever that was. And yes I got into a big trouble and I was emotionally and mentally disturbed. Everything just got to me and I told myself, "What is this? I don't deserve to be treated like this."That's when I learned how to let go and find another happiness. Another happiness which meant one. . . I do not know how 4 came and THAT wasn't happiness. They're all a mistake! I turned them into a mistake and right now, I do not know how am I supposed to handle all of this. I am so sorry. I do not know which is the right one at the moment. All's just so wrong. =(

Emo moment number 3. I'm not feeling my training. I feel so fat. I feel so heavy and I don't feel like a runner. I feel like a pig. I feel like a hippo. I have fat thighs and I do NOT know how to get rid of them. I'm officially on a diet and trying to lose weight till I finally reach 48kgs. My main aim was 50, but I was like, "hey what the hell, let's do it this time." But diet is just hell. It's as tough as hell. Cos I'm not good in it. I'm just a girl, a normal girl. And a normal girl tends to break all the diet rules and it hurts. Hurts so terribly. But it hurts more to be fat. *sigh* 48 48 48 48 48 48 48 48 48 48!

Done with the emo moment.
Let's begin with the happy moment. Which I only have one.

"Dengan ini, saya merasmikan bahawa. . . . ."
" ARIZAN ARIFFIN GADAIT, nama anda telah muncul dalam blog saya!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Budu.

I really do not have a happy moment in my life right now. I'm just so effin' stressed and diarist, ko ja la harapan bangsa dan negara! haha! It's like when there's 5 people textin' me at one time, sometimes I only replied yours, because, I was forced to promise! HAHAHAHA! No bah, it's because you're not like them, you're just different ni. Haihhhh. I don't have to think so much, all I have to do is answer your questions, which is pretty easy because they're all about running and I don't have to dig deep inside my heart to find the answer. Hahaha, ko faham ka ni diarist? You and your jokes, HAHAHA! Eeeee gila la ko ni diarist, only with you ja I can be like this. Bah, our Sunday routine officially began today ah, next week 3 rounds! I went for a run with him tadi, hahahahaha, ni la ni, bahagia oh diarist sama diary kan? HAHAHAHA! Haihhh this is my happy moment. Sama si Arizan yang memang boleh diharap la if you wanna release stress. He'll lend his shoulder without him himself knowing it. Hebat kan? Haha! Ui, parents kita berkenal pula kan? hahahahahahahahaha~

This is gonna be a very long month. *sigh*

Pictures during some prefectorial thingy at the beach. =)

ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH

"Him that I love, I wish to be free -- even from me."

C.S LEWIS

"Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone."

Roy Croft

"I love you
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you."

Still on stress mode.
Still on waiting mode.
Still on blurr mode.
But diet mode: ON!
48 48 48!!

sighhhhh.

Stepping up the game.

2009-11-08T00:16:00.001+08:00

Must not slack. Must get on track.
Starting from tomorrow, I'm stepping it up.
Main goal: 48!

48 48 48 48!

Long run with si DIARIST tomorrow!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

haha!

Out of place.

2009-11-07T09:40:00.001+08:00

I've never felt so burden, stressed and out of place all at the same time.
Damn it.
I've never felt so guilty in my life yet I don't know how to get this over with.
Stressed. Stressed.
STRESSSEEEDDDDD!

I've never felt so down in my whole entire life.

Thank You.

2009-11-05T15:47:00.002+08:00

You put a smile on my face every night before I go to bed.
The last person's voice I'd listen to every nite before I close my eyes would be yours.
Why do I have to fall so deeply in love with you?

Haihhhh my wimau. =)

23 days and counting.

I told you guys.

2009-11-04T15:38:00.000+08:00

Nothing else matters more than being loved by the person you never thought would still be there for you even though how much you've wrecked him and tore his heart into pieces.

We're back. =)

" Babyyyyy. :) "

2009-11-03T16:19:00.000+08:00

"Ku akui ku sangat sangat menginginkan mu
Namun kusadari ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Ku akui ku sangat sangat mengharapkan mu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku tak akan bisa
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi

Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa siapa untukmu
Ku cintaimu tak berarti bahwa ku harus milikimu slamanya

Ku akui ku sangat menginginkan mu
Tapi kusadari ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti ini semua harus terjadi".

:: Should I say 'yes'? Or 'No'?
:: To love or BE loved?
:: Put people first, or put myself first?

I'll wait. 25 more days. =)

HAHAHAHAHAA!

2009-11-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

I telah diperkosa.
THE END.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!
:*

Konea Kamin.

2009-10-31T17:48:00.000+08:00

Blog is back!
Haahaa.

:)

Currently reading this book:

Put Your Dream To The Test.

I'm feeling good again. I bet it was the PMS or whatever that was. It's gonna be a busy busy month. Another 2 more weeks of school and it will be over! Another month till I get to meet the 'One' and another two more months till the day I'll be seeing Mr.2010. Aiyayayy~ How time flies. *sighs*

Back to reading! :)

Posts deleted. :)

2009-10-29T13:43:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Kinarut. *sigh*

*deleted a lot of my previous posts which I felt shouldn't be read from any party. Feelings should just be kept inside. No matter how much it hurts or even kills, never show it. Lie if you have to. *

How tiirrrrrriiiinnggggggg. :(
Did a lot of thinking there again.
And I've summed it all up. . .
To this:

Build a wall.
Build a strong STRONG wall this time. :) You're not falling again.

KONEA'S BAAACCCKKKK!
weeeehuuuu~ WOOOOOHHH!

Ain't letting anyone, or any love bring me down. :) Shhcuse me, make way for me! MEEE~ and me. :) Will be in form 4 next year! YEAY YEAY~ :D Hopefully I'll get into Science Stream *even tho I know that's not my first choice* and I'll take up accounts. :D Science stream is just a way to back me up. . :D *just in case I don't make it with accounts. haha* Weee! :D Right after form 4, then form 5, THEN! :D I wanna go. . . I wanna goooooo! I wanna go go go go go go away!

Damn, I'm such a dreamer. Oh right, then next year, off to the Philippines baby! But I'm not doing so well at the moment, sort of lost my mood these few days, but ITS ALLLRRRIIGHT! Will get it back today and there's no turning back! :D Woooh. Next Thursday it'll be our school's cross country, I'll try to GET SOME POINTS instead of winning it this time. . . wait. . OH DAMN IT! I want to win. :D Muahahahah~ I'll try my best to win. :D If I don't win this I'll just cry till my eyes bleed and once they run out of blood, that's when I'll stop. :P Ahhh cross country, why oh why must you exist!

I can't wait to finish high school!
I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait! I can't wait to further my studies! I can't wait I can't wait!
I can't wait to struggle on my own! I can't wait I can't wait!
And lastly,
I can't wait to meet *censored* while I'm making my way to the top. :)
He must be out there, somewhere. Just, not the right time yet. Eh?
Hahahaha~ :)
Damn I'm making my way there. Just watch me world, just watch me. ;)

Before that. .
TIDUR!
hahahahahah. :P *nap time*

GAYA STREEEEEEEEEET! :D * and the rest of our Sunday outing!*

2009-10-24T19:45:00.001+08:00

I just got back from traaack.
And I got myself a new pair of shoes~ It's white and pink! HAHAHAHA. :D
And it's Reebok.
*right, I've never worn Reebok before, but I'm gonna deal with this one, Nike can wait. :P *
Done with the freakin exhaustin Kawad T.Y.T and the next one coming up will be CROSS COUNTRY! Oh my lord, someone save me. :S

Right I promised to do a post about cats, animal rights and so on right? This post has it! :D It was a veryyy veryyy long Sunday and it's one of those Sundays where I just had so so so so much fun~ :D Buek~ jealous? :P

I got up realllyyy early that Sunday. How early? 8AM! BAAAAAAM! *hahahaha early la konon dat? *
It's early for a Sunday bah. :P

My sister wasn't awake yet, so I went online la, and texted her telling her to wake up. I was very excited because. . On that day, I was going to get myself. . . my NEW FOUND LOVE! :D Which I already did and I'm loving it. :D Like I said, I'm so freakin' satisfied with it. :) Right, so back to the story. :D

She replied my text and said, "We'll leave at 10am. . ." and I knew she was still snoring and snuggling with her pillow . Grr~ But being the patient girl that I was, I stayed online and glued my eyes to the computer. Ahhh, life after PMR's a total bliss ey? :P Ok right so the photo above is when we got ready and was already on the way to. . . .

GAYA STREET! :D
Originally named Bond Street, Gaya Street located in the Kota Kinabalu Central Business District has been the centre of business for over a hundred years. The wooden shops with nipah roofs are long gone but here is where generations-old family businesses are still thriving passed down from father to son.

Every Sunday morning, the length of Gaya Street is closed off to traffic to make way for the Fair. Shop for anything under shady trees and over-sized umbrellas, like batik sarongs, fruits and flowers, arts and craft, footwear, antiques and souvenirs, cakes, even pets and herbs!. This is the best place to experience the cross-section of the local population when entire families enjoy a Sunday outing.

The Gaya Street Fair is on every Sunday from 6.30 am to 1.00 pm

It's been awhile since we went to Gaya Street because. . it often gets too crowded and obviously it was VERY CROWDED on that day. . But for some reason, it was VERY SHIOK! :D Haha. . WE were eager to see rabbits. . and. . . mimings as in tingau or a.k.a CATS :D Haha! We tried our best to look like tourists. . :P But I bet to no avail because my Sabahan slang is too too. . . kuat~ doi. :P

SEPET~ :P Morning face~ :D

We found RABBITS!

We love rabbits. We like to touch them. I like to hold them. But. . I wouldn't wanna own them. Rabbit's are so. . boring. -.- They're cute. . But they're boring. . They don't keep you company. . They don't rub their body against you and sayang sayang you! THEY JUST DON'T DO THAT! So. . rabbits are off my list of 'pets to own when I'm married'. Hahahaha. :P

OMFG!
What the hell is THAT SO FLUFFFFFFFFFYYY! @____@~~~

Look.
Bugs bunnies. :D
Sedap kah if kena masak this? :D :D

Si Ervina Erfie and Tantini Kamin :D.
Vain princesses!

LOOK WHAT WE FOOOUUUNDDD!

We walked a bit further searching high and low for cats. . and we found. . . SUPER FREAKIN' ADORABLE PERSIAN BABIES! Eh I mean kittens :D. I was sooooo excited. . hahaha. But then as I look closely, I got so pissed because. . the cats were DYING of heat~ The owner didn't even place water for the kittens to drink?! Annnnnd he was fanning the kittens with NEWSPAPER? Like what?! U think the kittens can feel the air just by flabbing-whatever-newspaper-up and down only meh?! Ni siao ah!??!!?

*clearly I was being very emotional . . . *
And still am when my thoughts flew back to that day! UGGH.
Animal rights. ANIMAL RIIIGHTTSSS!

Looooooooooook. :( The kitten was in agony and. . was feeling the heat! :( Yerrrrr.
Why bah this human beings so cruel.
Cannot bring fan meh!?!??!
:( I'm having my emotional moment! *ish*

Right.

*back to jumpy mode*

Got dogs also~ hahahah! This is what I love most about Gaya Street! So many fury animals caaaaaan~~~ :D I feel like opening the cage and just snatch this puppy away~ Sadly, I can't. *sighs* Even if I could, I'd be chased around with a 'parang' and will end up with having. . no head. =S

EEEHHHH CUTE ~
*gebugebugebuuness~*
:D

Wahai tourists-tourists sekalian~ :D

Erfie and I. ;)
:P

We were wondering if those dogs were for sale. . .

We walked. . and walked. . and walked some more. .
and I came across this!

A KITTEN THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY MIMING!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
*screams hysterically!*
And world. .
Meet FATTY A.K.A MIMING! :D

and that's how Miming should've looked like when he was still a baby!
AAAAAAHHHHH.
adorableness!

Whispers. . .
"Baby wan dis! :D Miau miau miauuu~"
:)

si SUPERSTAR!
hahahahaha mana mau cari kan? :P

Erfie and. . the plastic starfish :D
She was like. .
"OCHEE OCHEE! Take my pic with this! Tidak original pun it's ok la asalkan plastic pun jadie!"
haha. Cute! :D

We walked the whooollleee round and found ourselves sweaty like mad. :D
Then we headed to *censored* to get my *censored**censored**censored*!
And I'm satisfied. HAHAHA. Esehh, full of suspense right? :P

Then we headed to Grace Point to have our lunch! :D Basically it was a 'PIGGING OUT DAY' because all we did was eaaaatt eaaattt eaaat.
And I joined as well! haha. Sudah gemuk, mauuu lagi tambah gemuk! HEBAT! Sangat bagus. :P

While waiting for our food. .

PICTURES!!!!

Seriously, can basi oso waiting for food. . *sighs*
But after the food arrived. . . *salivates*

Ninie's food! :D

HAHAHA!

Konea's food! a.k.a Mine la bah. :P

My cousin commented on my fb photo and said,
"You can finish all of that?"
And I was like. .
OF COURSE I CAN CAN'T U SEE HOW FAT I AM?
hahahaha. :)

This is Erfie's! Lamb!
Slurrrrps :)

AHAH! I told you I could finish that! It's cleaaan some more. :P Beat that!
I have a dog that lives in my stomach. :D

Muka kegembiraan. :P

After lunch, we headed to . . another place. . .

TO EAT AGAIN! hahaha.
This time it's at 'Kak Nong's' in Beverly. :)
Makan kuih-muih~ :P

This one's for free but no one ate it? Haha I was tempted to but. . I was afraid to. . get fat. :(
Ugh. Punya la~ :(

Miiiineee~ :P

That's Erfie and Kak Jean! :) She was siiickkk bahh alaaah.
We planned to go to the beach after that but she couldn't tag along because she wasn't feeling well. *sobs*

But we still went to the beach to B*TCH around~ Wooooh~ :D
Don't worry, it's our final destination already. :P

The princesses went to get themselves some jambu~
How can you hang out at the beach without same JAMBU!??! :P

Erfie: Ni! Cuba try ko punya. . . sedap ka dari sa punya?
Ninie: Nah ambil la. .
Ochee: *odoii sama saja pun. . . air liur ja lain. . *
:P

U SEE U SEE!
hahaha hyperactive girls. :)
Guys pun teruja.
No wonder there were guys playing football kept on chasing these two babes. :P Kaaan?

Jalan2 sambil makan jambu~ :)

Beach-ing. :)

Aaaaah it was a very long long Sunday!
And I bet tomorrow we'll be heading to the beach again~ To play around ~ to run run around. . .
and to enjoy life. :D

haha.
***************************************************

I can't let other people get into my head. It's crashing my life into pieces where I'm supposed to be enjoying what I have. :)
So, therefore I did what I should have done a loong loong time ago. Cos for now, I'm happy. And I know I'll be happy as long as I have you here with me. It doesn't matter~ :)
I told you before this, nothing else matters but you. :)
Oh and when I say 'you'
That also means nothing else matters but my life. :)
Track+studies+bliss+you~
All in one! haha. Ini barulah full pack!
Should I say I love you?
It's too common! :D
I'll think of a way to express it. . haha.
Kanak-kanak ribena~

FYI: People. . that purple thing on the Ribena AD is not a MANGGIS. . It's a blackcurrant!
hahahaha.
Cinta~ cinta~
Kiut!

What's your FIRST impression of me?

2009-10-23T10:33:00.000+08:00

This is just another random post. Cos I've been feeling really curious about what others think of me the first time they see me. :D

Some say I'm very. . . 'garang' as in fierce.
Some say I'm 'quiet'.
When they see my pictures. . they say I'm. . vain? haha.
And some say. . . I just have that ' I don't give a damn who you are, so MOVE! ' look.

So, WHAT SAY YOU?
*comments please! THANK YOU! *

:D moment of truth?
mesti ada say I'M VERY HATEABLE!
:D

Red reddd wine :)

2009-10-20T14:52:00.000+08:00

Still in the oldies mood. :)
HAPPY 54TH BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST DADDY! :D

Mr.Kamin. The one who always shouts at me when I was a lot younger.
And he's also the one who spoils me. :)
Happy birthday Pa!
I LOVE U LOVE U LOVE U! :)

When's school gonna finish!? Oh right, less than a month. But it's super duper torture! Not forgetting the marching competitions, THREE OF THEM. Uhuuu. I'm not busy, it's just that my schedule is so packed! I'm not stressed, it's just that I have so many things to do! I'm not angry, it's just that I get bored easily cos I've been doing this for the past three years. *sighs* I'm being all optimistic, who knew I could be such an optimist person oh kan? ;)

Last Saturday which was on the 17th, Syiqin held a Raya open house!
SO WEEEE HAAAADDD FUUUNNN! :D
hahaha.
And and, Syiqin's dad got her a new camera.
Mind you, her dad got it for her AFTER PMR! Not after her results.
so lah. AWESOME.
And mind you again, it's a . . .

NIKON D90!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Okay I'm exaggerating. :P Let's just get to the pictures kays? :P

NURUL ASYIQIN BT. MOHD NAZAM'S RAYA OPEN HOUSE!
Wo de hao hao haaoooo peng you! <3
:D World, meet Alyssa. HAHA.
The one who gets annoyed with me a lot! :P
hahaha. Taking advantage of Syiqin's new camera! :P
Wo de hao peng you~ :)

This is NATHALENE! My new partner in crime. :D
kaaaan thal! :P

I was like,
" Meh kita ambil gambar skema! :DDD"
And I dragged these two monkeys along. :P

" Negarakuuuu~ *:D* "
HAHA.... :P
Group pic.
Do not ask why I'm standing like that.
I must say. . .
PINGGANG SAYA ALMOST PATAH CAAAAAAN!
*sighs*
Tonggek kan? hahahaha. :P
Them. :)
Us. :)

I sweat a lot. As in, I can't stand when there's no wind or whatever la!
So I conquered the fan. hahaha.
Obviously, I wasn't the only one conquering.
WE CONQUERED THE FAN! :P

Then we had nothing better to do. We found SWORDS! Plastic swords. :)
The next few pics are pics of two kanak-kanak ribena. :)

Konea: Thal! Cucuk ur bobot! HAHAHAHAH
Thal: Cucuk ur nenen!

*yes we're very straight forward people. We don't care. Cos. . :) We only get to be like that once in our lifetime. :P *
Thal: So! What's the plan?
Konea: *whispers.* Let's. . . cucuk the camera girl's bobot. :D
Thal: AGREED!
I found a toy guuuun. :P
Thal jahaaaaat :(

We love A's kan kan kan? :)
We want straight As bah. :DD
*padahal! hahahaha*
Makan time~
Lemme tell you. . THE LAMB!
*slurrrps*
Super sedap to the max like what-the-heck-is-that!
:D

Naaaah, si babi. :D
I eat a lot. I do I do I do. :P
heeeheeee.

Aaaah, I rely can't wait to finish school and then wait for my results to come out! Think of all the free time I'll have! :D I'm praying so hard that I'll get good results and also praying hard that I can improve in my track. These two things are so important in my life that I'd put everything else aside!

I didn't get enough sleep!

Slept at 12.30am and then woke up at 4am to workout. Done work out then OFF TO SCHOOL! The only thing that kept me going was nescafe! Ugggh. Gonna get myself some nappy nap nap for awhile then at 5pm OFF TO THE GYM! :D Traiiining, traiiining. Gotta get used to working out twice a day. Must, get, used, to. . not, being, lazy. :)

Did I mention I achieved my FIRST SATISFACTION?
Hahahaha.
I told you, I seriously got it in red. :P
Ahhhh. Off to bed. :)

Next post will be about . . .
cats.
animal rights.
outing.
and. .
CAMWHORINGGGG!
*like that's ever out of topic right?*

****************************************************

I have no idea what's going on. I never knew what happened in the first place. And now we're already in the middle, I'm more lost than ever.
But love, if this thing were ever going to it's end,
I'll never forget,
it was you who made me who I am now.
Better than who I was before.
I never thought I could do the things that I did and currently doing.
You curved a smile on my face, and if you ever leave, the smile stays. Because, I'll never regret. Not even a single thing.
:)
And therefore, I wanna thank you.
This song's dedicated to you baby. I love you.

When we were together
Those were the happiest time in all my life
Now were separated I don`t know what I will do
`cause I can`t ever love another
No matter how hard I try
`cause I know. it`s impossible
Where ever you may be
I hope you`ll hear my song
Then maybe you`ll realise
My love that you were wrong

`cause I can`t ever love another
No matter how hard I try
`cause I know. it`s impossible

The sunset outside my window
Has lost all it`s glow
The rose in the garden
Doesn`t bloom any more.

I'd marry the Track.

2009-10-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

FB IS ADDICTIVE. :) But no, I'm not addicted. *lives in total denial*
HELOOOO BLOG! :D

Today's my first day of track since I went for a whole 10 days of rest from training.

OMG MY LEG HURTS SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
Kaki saya mahu patah.
Tercabut.
Detach.
But. . . . I love this feeling. :DD

I'm determined. I'm determined. I'm determined. I'm determined. I'm determined!
To IMPROVE!
:D
Ya, baiklah saya sangat bersemangat.
Today I received a sort of good+bad news. *sigh*

Guess what?
CROSS COUNTRY WILL BE ON THE 3RD OF NOVEMBER 2009! <== This year. =___=

I'm glad that it's early. But I'm not happy because I haven't been running for long distances in months! Will I die? After 3 straight years of glory, will I lose this time? Oh shucks. =.= God please be with me. I won earlier this year but that was the most UNFIT condition that I've been in my whole entire life. I looked back at the pictures taken of me, hahaha! PUNYA MAIN FLABBY. :P That was like a month before I met uncle and joined his training. Hahaha. My thighs were humongous and. . . I don't know what's that. Macam babi pun ada juga. Haha! Let's find that picture. HAHAHA! :D *browses through Facebook*

FOUND IT!

WAHAHAHAHA! :D Omg what the hell is that? Eeeee. I was sooo flabby oh. Look at my arms! Like a grandma! *sobs* I feel so sad for myself. :(
This was taken in January of this year during our cross country. Ahaha. My arms. MY ARMS! Fuuuhh.
I still won despite the piggy-ness.
What a fluke. =__=

Then then. . after I started track. . .

Okay at least less flabby lah the arms. Thank God. :(
Haha. Eeeeh I'm impressed by what effort can do to you! :D So, never give up! :D
I'm still heavy though. *sighs* Macam mana ba mau jadi ringan dis?
Go anorexic la like dis. :(

I'm starting to doubt whether I can run for long distances. Aihhh! I hate to doubt about what I can do! So. . . therefore I'm determined, to get prepared! At least, even if I don't win, I know I've tried my best right? :) Bah, will be waking up at 4am to cycle cycle cycle! :)

That's one thing. Cross country. There's a lot more other things!

Our teachers, kindly prepared a whole tons of post PMR activities for all the form 3s and all of us are ~~forced~~ encouraged to join. They need our full participation. Right. So! This whooole month till the 16th of November next month, I'll be busy doing God knows what. With this activity and THAT activity. . . Oh. and yes. There's KAWAD! Marching. Shouting. Omg.

It sucks to be the head of the platoon. =.=
*not whole entirely. The joy of screaming on others without it being a crime pun very the syok!*
hahahaha.
Damn. That means I'll be screaming and teaching lil' juniors how to ~~walk like a penguin~~ march the right way.
Hmmm. :D I think I still have those 'kawad kaki' photos! :P

HAHAHA GOT IT! :D

That's me that's me that's me! :D
We got 2nd for this one. Haha.
"Skuaaaaaaad! "
" Satu barisan di hadapan sayaaa, GERAK!"
Hahahahahaha. ROTFLMAO.
Haha. Tch, told you I was a very very 'no manners' kind of girl. Thank God, I'm almost getting over that stage. haha. "Almost". :P

And yes. On the 11th of November, our school will have this inter-uniforms marching competition. *sigh* I'm left with two choices. Either I train my assistant and tell her to lead the whole platoon this year, or if she disagrees with it, then I'll have to do it. *yai* She MUST NOT DISAGREE WITH ME! Tulin, please please. . munyit kaw. :P :D

I kinda miss this whole marching thing. :) But I hate the part where you turn dark and ugly. WHY DO I KEEP ON GETTING MYSELF INVOLVED IN THINGS THAT WILL TURN ME UGLY?! =.= As if I'm not ugly enough. Ugh.

After cross country.
Marching.
=.= Right.

But it's alright, on the 16th it'll be my LAST DAY AS A FORM 3 STUDENT!
wooohooo.
I'll be form 4 next year. :D Yay! Excites. ;)

I'm currently looking for books online. Now that I have all the time in the world. . I'll have time to get back to one of my TRUE LOVE * sehh, as if I have tons of true love. =.=* which is... BOOKS! :D Ngeeheee. I miss my Little Black Dresses collections. Can't wait to get my hands on those new ones. :D I miss miss miss miss all the romantic-ness of LBDs books. :) But as for the time being, I'm re-reading one of my fav which is , Marley and Me!

I cried the 1st time I read it. Yes, that book made me cry like nobody's business.
And no, I'm not a cry baby. Maybe they secretly placed some chili powder towards the last chapter of the book.
Yes, THAT MUST BE IT!
Or maybe the book's just rely good. :)

They have it on DVD now right? Now, that's one thing I'm so not updated with. Movies. Do NOT ask me about movies. It's been MONTHS since I've watched any movies and I have no idea what's the latest one in the cinemas. =.= Grrr.

Ok ok. I rely rely rely love my hair. But due to training, I think imma have to chop it off. :( I wasn't so keen on keeping my hair long before this, as a matter of fact, I used to love to chop it off every 2 months or so. But but, I've been busy for the past few months and had no time to cut my hair therefore, zee hair grew long! And I fell in love with it. :(

Now I'm in A TOTAL DILEMMA.
I'm about to kill some part of me. :( How much love do I have to let go in order to keep my life balanced? :(

;-( Huaaaaa. Cintanya I sama my hair. :(

Then I think I'm gonna chop it off till this short.
Huaaa. This was taken exactly A YEAR AGO.
Total ah-lianness.
:P

Right, so.
To cut or not to cut? :(
Cut?
DON'T CUT?
Cut or not?!

*pengsan*
Siggghhhhhh.
Okay maybe I'll leave it for another week and we'll see how it goes. :(

OFF TO BED! Need to wake up at 4am to workout. :D
Like I said . . .
I AM DETERMIINEEEEEED!
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.
:D
Semangat.
Majulah sukan untuk negara. :P

If I were to fall in love with another guy,
I doubt it will be as hectic as how I fell in love with you.
Totally unintentional.
:P

GOODNIGHT! <3
RAWWR. ;)

10 random things to do after your exams.

2009-10-14T17:45:00.000+08:00

It's raining. Track workout's cancelled. Supposed to be at the gym. We have cars. But those cars are 'meant for display' only, I guess.
*Can you feel how pissed I am at the moment?*
Cos I'm trying my best not to show it.
:)
*breathes in deeply*
It's all good Konea, it's all good.

Here I am, blogging, on a rainy Wednesday. Today's one of those days where I feel so. . . blergh and have no idea what to expect. I would love to say what's on my mind , and be childish or more, be a b*tch, but I'm waayyy over that. I've been on blog fights, fb fights, friendster fights whatever fights. And I hate it. Hate it! >.< !

I'm a big girl and I'm big enough to know when to speak my mind and when to keep it down. :D ;) Keep your emotions in check, missy. :P

This post is dedicated to all PMRers out there whom which, are done with your exams. I mean OUR exams, cos yea bah I'm form 3 also. :D I was so freakinly excited yesterday after my last paper and had tons of things planned to do. But who knew I finished all of them in just one day and now I have nothing left to do. =.= "

After exams: "WEEEEEEEE! FREEDOM! ON9, DATING, CHATTING, MSN, TV, COMPUTER GAMES, FARMTOWN, BOOKS, ON9 ON9 ON9!"

A day after exam's done: " =___________=" *apa ko rasa, oren? kotoh. :P *

So here are MY suggestions, *suggestions only ah!* on things that you can do to kill at least 1/10 of your free time. :P

1. Clean your PETS. Pet. Miao. Wooof. Rawr. Rawr?

Hey, it's not wrong to groom your pets once in awhile. :D You have to 'menghargai' them for being there while you study, for bugging you and for putting a smile on your face whenever you're on the verge of swallowing all the notes you just read. :D Pick up a pail of fresh water and some nice smelling CAT/DOG/TIGER/BIRD? shampoo and SCRUB SCRUB SCRUB! Eh, at least you can get rid of whatever's 'living' on your pets. :P I'm lucky to have my dad to clean my tingau(s) all the time. :P Tingau = cat.

*Konea will not be responsible for any drowning, killing or deaths of any types of animals. Please and thank u.

Maybe that's not fun enough. Hurrrmmm.

2. Go stick something on someone's back and pretend you didn't do it. :D
:D

MUAHAHA. Do it to 5 different people and of course at 5 different places. :D You want an adrenaline rush, THAT IS AN ADRENALINE RUSH! I'd do it, but with my girls of course. Cos they're the only ones that can bring the devil out of me. 3:) Find a place filled with people. :D Eeeeh siok! Should do this. hahahahaha. :P *seriously reminds me of that butterfly sticker stuck on teacher Wilfred's butt. :P * Nyahahaha~

Stick something that says like this:
" I like bananas. Give me some bananas."

WHAT?
Banana's JUST a banana.
*smacks ur head*

3. Get a diet plan. Lose. . weight? *can't believe I'm saying this.*

My two best friends, Grace and Alyssa are two good looking girls and they're planning to lose weight?! Yea. I laughed at it because they said. . "saya berazam mau kurus lepas PMR!" and I almost choked on my . . . ok whatever I was chewing on at that time. =.= Losing weight's a good thing since I've been trying to do it for the last I-dont-noe-how-many-years-of-my-life. T___T But to no avail! So since all 15 year olds will be super damn free after this. . . you can stop eating now. :D I love food, so. . . go to hell with losing weight! *and also go to hell with gaining weight, of cos....* :D eh wait, I have to lose weight. That's in my plan also. HAHAHAH. Damn, OK VANDAI AND JOAN! Count me in! :DD

4. Chop a teddy bear's head. :DDD

Mana la tau kan. . God knows how, all the stress accumulated in your brains are slowly tearing you apart? Grab that CUTEST teddy bear, the one that stares at you in the middle of the night with the chubbiest cheeks in the whole entire universe and the fattest tummy. Yes, your favorite FOREVER FRIENDS TEDDY BEAR! hahaha. Chop it's head off. Then you'll be crying till your eyes fall out and VOILA! Stress released. :D

* Again, Konea will not be responsible for the loss or damage of any fingers. Either on the left or right hand, sekian.

5. Try to not think about PENGUINS.

Urm yes exactly. Penguins. This is extremely hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway. HAHAHA! :D

Penguins are scary. :-\

6. Get into an elevator *all day long if possible* and start meowing.

This is to entertain yourself and see what people's reaction will be. It'll be either one of this.

A: you're crazy.
B: you've escaped from a mental hospital, which, also means you're crazy. :D

Bah, do it while you're still young, kan?
HAHAHAHAH.

7. Call up your best friend and start breathing heavily from the other line.

:D
HAHAHAHAHA.
EH.
This sounds fun. :DDDD

8. Get. . . something pierced! :D
*reminder. This is JUST a suggestion. ahem. yes. only.*

I think piercings are cool. On the tongue, navel, nose, or wherever. But I'm a coward to get any parts of my body pierced. Still a coward. Maybe someday. :D Some - 'day'. HAHAHA. :P

P/S: To convent students, when you've pierced your tongue, and when I'm the prefect who's checking you, PLEASE HIDE IT. Or I'll have to confiscate it. ugggh. :D Eeeu confiscate a tongue ring?! WTH. =__= Yes I've done that before. Not a glorious thing to do. *sighs*

9. Break up with your boyfriend, then make up.

Just because. For the sake of the rush? HAHAHA. :) But if you love your boyfriend/girlfriend so much, I do not recommend this. Again, I won't be responsible for anything. :P

UMMM. What elseeee. . . . . .

10. Online ALL DAY LONG BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE PAYING THE BILLS! :DD

"Saya merupakan salah satu contoh daripada remaja di luar sana yang amat tidak menghargai wang."

WHAT?
hahahahahaha.
Hey you're only 15 once in your lifetime can?
When your 30 years old, YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL THE BILLS YOURSELF. Heh heh?
True or not?

========================================

Actually, I had to force my brain to think of what to blog. Because speaking frankly I'm at a situation where I might just cry and burst into tears right at the moment. This is NOT how it's supposed to be. :(
But. I cannot. cry. I do not cry. Nope. No. No.
And. . .
My life is meant to be this way. All I can do is be thankful, and again, like I've said many times,
"Whatever happens, happens."
:) Ahhh shucks.

Tracklover = I'm a person who loves track.
:(

I'm such a liar.
ARGH!

I don't wanna die just yet. :D

2009-10-13T21:45:00.000+08:00

HEEHEEEE!

The good stuffs are on their way. :D
You know, you don't have to worry about everything all the time.
Well, I just realized that! :P
I love. . my life. :D

Nah actually .. MY EXAMS ARE OVER! so over. over over over.
I'm one happy joyous in love fat girl. :D
RAWWR. :P

EXAMS OVER!
PMR'S OVER! weeeeeeee.
*jumps around like a super fat cute bunny :D *
and I'm back to super blogging mode. YAY!

Exams started on the 7th October and ended today, which is on the 13th of October. Tuesday the 13th! AHAH! While I was on my way to school, JJ and Ean *HITZ.FM!* were talking about the NEW SCARY DAY which is Tuesday the 13th. Like what? hahaha. Oh and since today's the 13th, it also means that I just turned 15 and 8 months old. :P Happy birthmonthday to me! :P Okay SING FOR ME! Anyone? ;P

Right. So now, I can proceed with all my plans! MUAHAHA! *evil smile* But I'm not that bad la, I'm not planning to rob the bank or something. I just wanna have fun? :D And and I'm back with training! Just went to the gym just now and it was HEAVEN! :D You might probably think that I'm one weird chikka for loving gym, but WHAAAT? Comel bah. :P *trying to make myself feel better* Haha.

Can't wait for this Saturday! WOOOOH! :D Even though it sounds scary, but but. . I'm gonna toughen myself up because I WANT IT SOOO BADLY! :D I wish I could tell you, you and you, what it's all about but but, don't want la. :D One word for it is = SELF-SATISFACTION. :) Mr.Adam a.k.a Damzie asked me about this and guessed it. . he said. . LINGERIE. WAT THE? Yes, lingerie is one 'self-satisfaction' kan Dam? hahahaha. lucu. :P

OMG 2 MORE FREAKING MONTHS THEN MY RESULTS WILL BE OUT!

Wow, isn't it 'exciting'? =___=

So it'll be another 2 gruelling months till the moment of truth comes.
I'll be prepared for whatever happens.
*or if I don't get straight As, I'll just cry till my eyes fall out.*
I mean, yea. =___=
ARGHHH!
God why am I so. . . like this?
Anyways. I'll just enjoy this freedom for the time being. :P

-----------------------------------------------------------

I'm the kind of person who worries about time. I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE DID THE TIME GO! This year flew soooo fast that I couldn't summarize it. All I remembered was on February, my life sucked soooo bad. And the years before that was very 'blergh'. But but and then, it was when I started training with Uncle, everything just went so smoothly. :D Maybe it's because I didn't have the time to worry about all the worries in the world and all I could do was think of myself and the people close to me. :D :D Never knew life could get better right? But umm, I'll always remind myself that life has it's ups and downs. So, I'll be prepared for any sort of 'downs' so that when it happens, there's a way for me to get back up again! Weeeee~

'Mengapakah saya hanya menulis pasal diri saya?'. :P Oh wait, IT'S MY BLOG! :)

You know, music's pretty much a part of my life. It's just that I can't sing, like REALLY CAN'T SING! hahaha. :D All I can do is enjoy music the way it is without having to destroy it. :D I have tons and tons of songs that I listen to, especially in the shower and every song has it's own story. :D LIKE SERIOUSLY! hahahaha. :D I relate my life to it. Unintentionally, actually. :P

Alicia Keys - No one

This song was famous and probably still is since the year 2007. It was the year where dad told me to quit swimming. I was sooo pissed off and miserable for a year till late 2008. I remembered I hated myself for whatever reason he asked me to quit, but when I think back, if he didn't tell me to do so, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I told you! Life's a roller coaster! :D I remembered playing this song over and over again on my Nokia 5300* hahahaha * and was sooo emo I was about to kill myself. Woooh talk about self-destruction. :P And I was really stuck on to someone like glue during those days, and thinking about being separated was totally. . . painful? Ugggh. But now, when I hear this song, weeee I feel sooo happy and light! HAHA! :P

Tantinie Groove

I started doing gym since I was 10 years old. So everytime I'm off from training, which was swimming during those days, I'll be working out on my own in my daddy's home gym :D HAHA. Which still exists till now and it's very useful! That song up there was one of the first STUV STAV song * I seriously don't know what to call it * that I listen to while working out. :D And I never stopped ever since! It's really good to listen to something like this, it makes you go for that extra mile! Especially when you plan to run for 10 miles, listen to ELECTROS! :D

Repuvlik - Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu

Yes, I do listen to Malay/Indonesian songs. In fact, I even listen to Spanish songs ok! *sighs* I discovered this song from a Malay drama. Hahahaha. You know the ones that they always play at 10pm, Saturdays on Tv3? Ya bah, si 'Cerekarama'. Haha. :P It was back in June? Ahuh. That was when I really really REAAAALLLY didn't know what was going on with me. To be frank, I was trying to deny everything. Like, "No, I'm meant to be with this person, not this." , " No, I love this person, not that one.", or " No, this is not for real, it's just a temporary thing just like every other person." . Right. I even cried for at least, minimum la kan, for 3 days! I cried because I didn't wanna let go of the happy days. Haha. I was afraid that I might be forgotten. I prayed really hard that I could forget what I was feeling because I didn't wanna get hurt. But for once, God didn't grant my wish. But He did made it all better than what I was expecting. I couldn't be more thankful. ;)

Neyo - Mad

When you're involved in a relationship with whoever, either you best friend, your family and especially your other half, you'll go through those days where you get into a fight but you have no idea why's it about? I went through those days and I listened to this a lot. . :D When you're mad, you just can't seem to take everything in all at once and the last thing you want is to face the person you're so pissed of at. But of course, sooner or later you'll start missing that person and all you want is to make up, right? :) Heeee. I never wanted to go to bed knowing the person that I love and care about is angry at me. Sucks. =,=

Keri Hilson - Knock You Down

This year, I was so in love with I'm doing and still currently in love with it, track of course, to the point of not caring about whatever was going on. I was like keeping myself in this big tight bubble and out of nowhere someone showed up and burst it. And entered. Unintentionally of course. You know, in life, when you're already stuck with your momentum and someone just does something that turns everything upside down, you really have no idea what's up? Haha. Ok to be frank, I don't know what I'm saying. To be short, I fell for someone by the name I call 'TrackLover' and he knocked me off my feet. Because I couldn't explain this. I couldn't, can't and still unable to identify APA BENDA SEMUA INI~~~ hahaha. =___=

The Script - Man Who Can't Be Moved

I can't lie. What I had with him was really something. It was a 'thing' full of its own ups and downs. Since the very beginning back in the year of 2005. We had to hide every single thing! From the lies, to the hatred, to the painful cheating, we got through that. We were afraid that someday all this was gonna end. I mean, what we had. There were people supporting us, but people who didn't were more. Ahhh, I still remember every little things that I did to make this thing work. I had to put up with him, like literally put up with who he really is. We planned for our future, and we were sooo sure that it's gonna workout right until something happened that totally ruined us. I was seriously tired of everything that I learnt to let go. It wasn't easy but I knew I deserved to be happy. I deserved to care about myself and my life for once. I deserved to be taken care of, and I wanna do that for myself. And then it ended. But I'm a person who cherishes everything I went through, so I never regretted anything. =) 4 years down the drain, and I won't regret. We make mistakes, we learn, and then we move on. :P And membahagiakan diri sendiri! WEEEEEEEEEEEE! haha.

Eeeh. Why's it all have to do with lovey-dovey stuff? =____= Ummm.
CUT! CUTTT! >:(
*cut bilang si director~*

Right. So.
I LOVE RED!
*hahahaha punya main random si Konea Kamin*

Don't you think RED is very d sexxay? :D
My school bag's red in color. My training bag's RED and black in color. My water bottle is RED.
Most of my handbags are RED.
Saya sangat suka merah!
:D

Last Sunday, a super RED OMG AWESOMENESS red Prado passed by and and. . . I can't forget about it ever since. *sigggh* And and that Red Mazda rx8 that's always somewhere. . =( A mix of my most favorite car and color. Punya lah! :(

LOOOOOOOOOOOK!
The cars. <3>

Sheesh. I'm jealous now.

*pls ignore the familycarthing.com, I googled this one kays?*

Wuuuwuuu, Mazda RX8! RED SOME MORE.
:D Can I have one? hehe. Pls pls, pretty pleeeaase? ;)

Okay. I've decided.
I will try to get my 'toooooooooot' in red this Saturday.
Muahahaha. :D

I used to like other colors like purple and pink.
But. . they're not. . GRRR enough, get me? For some reason red's so. . ME!
:D But of course my baby T2 and my baby Shuffle is in pink la. :D Cos I can be sweet too bah, at times. . when I feel like. . . being nice. :P

Panjang oso I blog kan? HAHA! :D Hurm, now I'm gonna proceed to changing the layout of my blog! So if you guys are experiencing anything ganjil, pelik2 and out of the ordinary, that means this blog is officially under maintenance. *konon la*. :D Oh oh and I'll be listing out topics that I should blog about. MUAHAHA.

Any suggestions?
Come la bah give suggestions. . . pretty please? ;)

Till then! ;)

P/S:I love you cinta. Tracklover. I still don't know what this is, but I'm sure it's one of God's greatest give yet. :D I syg u! RAWRRR! ;P hahaha. yai~ :P

I'm such a free-spirited person :D

2009-10-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

I'll be finishing my EXAMS IN 9 DAYS!

omg! That's like less than 2 weeks! :D I've been waiting for it for hundreds of days and it's finally here!!!!! :D Excited!

Off from training for 9 days. :( Plus today it'll be 10 days! ARGH! I know I know, exams first. I'm being a goooood girl so I'll bear with it.

I have a lot of things in mind after I'm done with my exams. . . such as. . .

♥ I'll get myself BACK ON TRACK WITH TRAINING. Will achieve my 50kg's weight! Hehe. Okay currently stuck on 55 but I'm telling you, I'm gonna get to 50kgs by the end of this year. I'll do whatever it takes :P I'll be a MAN if I have to. I mean, man-up. Not be a man and have. . . umm okay nemind. :P

♥ I'm gonna have THAT thing. Not many people know about it yet, except for my beloved sista and si cinta I, and I'm not planning to tell the whole world. But it's something that I've been wanting but hesitated because I was a coward. Wanna know what's THAT? hahahaha. It's something you CAN'T SEE because it's hidden. :D Have a guess eh? :P

♥ I'll be praying to God day and night and even in my sleep so that he'll bless my papers for me to get straight As. It's a relief to know that exams will be over, but then the agony of waiting for the results is just unbearable to even think of! And this is ONLY PMR! What will happen to me when I sit for my SPM and more after that? I have a feeling I could even lose my mind!!! But yes, God will be there. :)

♥ I will GO OUT~ and not worry about too much stuff but my results and training. I can finally go out without thinking about "oh crap I have PMR and I shouldn't be hereeee!" :P Woooh.

♥ I'm planning to go for an ISLAND TRIP! :D *rubs hands together with an evil laugh* MUAHAHA! :D Kak Ninie, come come we go! :D We jadi tourist again? :P

Ahhh my plans. But yet again, I'll be doing it BEFORE my results are out, so it's sort of frightening to be enjoying life without knowing what your results will be. :( Ugggh so I'm really torn in between. WHY LIFE.. WHYYYYY....

:D Aerosmith playing! :D

I just got back from a filling/delicious/suffering buffet from miss Tyajayze! Grrr at first we were like. . .

Ninie: I'm hungry. . . wat to eat?
Me: I was hungry and no one caredddd... :(((( *emo* There's food downstairs.. *and I started yapping about there's no nice food at home.. hehe *
Ninie: Come we go to the airport and have McD?
Me: *gives her an alienating look* To the airport just for McD? *this girl is nuts* Umm okay!
Ninie: NO NEED TO MANDI. LET'S GO!
Me: *confirm sottt* EEEE! I wanna mandi! LATER SMELLY!
Ninie: Ok GO LAHHH! I go reverse the car! :P
Me: *walks off.. feeling happy to get out of the house :P*

Our main agenda was to go to the airport to have MCD! *since KK is sooo boring there's no other fun place to have dinner at :( * But then we had some kind of conversation and the conversation lead us to having dinner in HYATT! :D And we both agreed!

Then we hesitated while we were on the way.

But then we agreed AGAIN. :D so yay!

But then, we thought we'd be wasting money and stuff. . .

But WE THOUGHT HEY! Eat all you can!
Then we stood in front of Hyatt hesitating AGAIN! *yes I know, we're very detailed siblings when it comes to money.. kan? hahaha*

Then.. :( We walked off and decided to have dinner in Upperstar... *okay, finally a decision!*

*five steps later...*
Ninie: LET'S JUST HAVE DINNER IN HYATT LAH!
Me: ............... okay let's go! hahahaha.

We turned around and headed back. Then we ended up getting ourselves so full I could barely even move! I think she's in bed right now while I'm still here blogging cos I still can feel the food not being digested at the moment. I can't sleep with a bloated STOMACH! Grrrr.

Plus I think nature will call soon. :P HAHAHA.

I REALLY MISS BLOGGING!
:D

*random thoughts*

Have you ever gone out and see a lot of boys and girls showing off their . . . weird.. fashion senses?

I mean some girls are wearing blue skirts with some pink nets on their legs.
Some boys are wearing skinny jeans?! :S

I thought colors are supposed to be matched properly.?
And skinny jeans are meant to be worn by girls and... the Jonas brothers I suppose?
*even I don't wear skinny jeans because I'm too fat to fit into them.. *

Have they ever thought of getting themselves into fashion disasters before they walk out of their house?

WHERE DID THE 'I'M A T-SHIRT AND JEANS PERSON AND I'M HOT!' SENSE WENT?!
I don't think of myself that way, but to me, less is MORE!
*less fabric is... also maybe counted but I'm not giving bad influences to anyone okay! It works only if you know where to set the boundaries :D*

One more about boys these days are they are turning more into girls! WAT DA! What's wit guys wearing scarfs around their neck? It's 40 degree celcius out there and they're wearing scarfs!? And even with a tank top and shorts I seriously felt like I was on my way to burning hell! Grrrr.

Maybe it's fashion lah. I don't know.
Well you know, I DO LIVE IN A CAVE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THAT SQUARE THING WITH COLORS THAT GIVES U INFORMATION. . .
:D

I suggest everyone should watch "25 Fashion Do's and Dont's" On E! :D It helps!

I bet you're mocking me right now. I only wear t-shirts and shorts to everywhere I go. And you might think, "WHAT IS SHE WEARING?!" Okay fine. But everyone has the right to voice out their opinions right? So.. you can't kill me for that. HAHA. Nyeh :P

I'm still insisting on girls being girls. As simple as they can. Not looking like they just came out from a lollipop machine. :D

And guys being guys. PLEASE! Jeans and something decent like a plain t-shirt? Or a buttoned shirt with jeans and put on some nice smelling perfume! *melts* That's much more better. :P

BEST EXAMPLE FOR THAT WOULD BE NONE OTHER THAN. . .

Beckham HIMSELF!
Beckham.... DAVID BECKHAM!

as for the girls....
:D

LOOK AT MEGAN FOX!!!!
:D
Simple is good. :)

yay. :D

So that's about how random I could get tonite:P

I have school TOMORROW!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.
2 more days of school and PMR STARTS!
Wish me luck everyone!

PMR PMR PMR PMR PMR PMR PMR PMR PMR
*battlemode ON*

Goodnite world!
Goodnite to my loved one that's currently sleeping.
:) I mishhh you.
Come back soon so we can play2 again! :(
I'll be doing my best so that. . .
I can be happy the next time we meet!
I love you TrackLover. ;) I rely do! :*

Raya 2009! :D

2009-09-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

Raya's not over yet but obviously mine's SORT OF over. :) But but, Syiqin still has her open house coming up after PMR so there's something to look forward to! WEEE WOOO WEEEE WOOO! :D

Frankly speaking, I love this year. HAHA! I mean, there are some parts in your life that you feel your life is soooo dull you just feel like giving up doing whatever you're doing. But some luck striked me, luck that God gave of course, and my life totally did a 360 degree turn!

Raya this year was supaaa HAPPENING! haha. :) I'm still waiting for those exclusive photos from my cuzzy, Mr.Kevin Lo. :P

Some of the photos taken during the 1st day of Raya in my kampung! :D
Sehh, saya orang Tuaran ba nie! :P

There's still a lot more photos actually! But tooooo lazy to upload. :P

Then, a day after Raya, we had this Interchurch Track and Field competition. :D So! My sister and I, miss Tyajayze hahaha :P represented the beloved Terawi! AND! Terawi won overall with 15 golds! WOOOTS! ;)

Okay and I lost. Booooo. But it doesn't matter, at least, I got to be with someone ;)

Some of the photos from the competition :D

World, meet Raynold. He's my... FAKE BOYFRIEND! haha :P
My partner in crime during training :D

And that's my coach. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HIM!
He's the best coach I've ever had and whatever he has done for me, I have no idea how long will it take me to repay it back. :)

And this is Victor Suan.
MUAHAHAHA. Si taiko :P

:)
This is Andy.
My partner in crime during training juga!
:D

Si sprinter Sabah ah.
:D ma sister~

You know, there were tons of photogs during the competition it was HILARIOUS!
and annoying la juga cos the flashes kinda blinds people.

:D
no. He wasn't scolding me. Advices bah dat!

Always be camera ready! :D

:D Vic! Comel kan kita? HAHAHA.

Alaaaaa, he's flying off tomorrow :(
Teda la my kawan training anymore :(
Grrr~

And then on Wednesday, there was an open house at MY HOUSE! :D Ummmm. Tons of people came and it was HECTIC! Was too busy to even layan my clans. ;( Sobs. But, a lot of things happened and I'm glad it did. Something I'll never let go for the rest of my life. :)

MY GANGSSZZZ! ;)

Mummy and I ;) :D Jane!

Hahaha bida! :D Candid shot by Sulina!

All my closest friends. ;) I heart them!

And world, meet my BESTEST FRIEND. ;) Asyiqin! She's the only girl I've been protecting with all my life. I have no idea why :P

I looove this :D

Okay and then my friends had nothing better to do then to 'usik2' me with Andy. Grrr~

World, again, meet Andy Steve. :P

And meet my fat ass and Andy's fit body :D

So many things happened and yet again, time flew so fast. I'm soon sitting for my exams and after that I'll be free. All I can say now is I'll be doing my very best and whatever happens, happens.

But first and foremost, I'd like to say sorry again to you, for doing this to you. But some things are meant to happen, whether I'm gonna regret this or not, I don't mind. Because I'm taking all the chances I can in this life. I hope you'd understand. No, I can't leave him and I won't leave him. And no, I can't go back to you even if I'm not with him. Because I chose not to. I don't want to hurt you any longer and I want you to move on. I've moved on a long time ago, and you should too. I am sorry, it's okay for everyone to hate me now, cos speaking frankly, none of them liked us before. :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

And now, it's for you. :D No, I didn't stop blogging cos you read my blog, it's just that I really have nothing to blog about. But now I do! :D Okay umm umm, although it's been only a few days or so, but a lot of things happened and it's very hard to explain every little thing. I never thought I'd meet someone like you, you know that? I thought a guy like you never existed anymore and I'm going to be stuck with whatever's left in this world. Haha but God proved me wrong. Well of course I'm wrong, look who I met! You're the kind of person that I can make my best friend and at the same time I could love. Whenever you're around, I see myself. Okay that was scary at first but yea, I realized it's true! Ummm. I'm sorry if whatever I've done or said have hurt your feelings. But I'll never forget you and I'll remember all the things you said. All the things we promised to do and we're going for it. Together. :) I'm not gonna go back to my past, and I'm not gonna let go of you. You don't have to worry about all those.

I'm taking the risk. I'm a risk taker. And that's something you have to know about me. :D

Oh and one more thing baby, I will NEVER LEAVE YOU. So stop telling me, "Please don't leave me." Because I love you. :*

We're gonna conquer the track in our own ways. Who cares if we don't get anything, as long as we get the satisfaction and the determination gets us there~! *ni la ni kalau org teda talent! HAHAHA*

I love you.
And I'll wait for you.
I'll be counting the days again. ;)

Track lover!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
damn it angau. :(
I miss u miss u miss u.

I'm a heartbreaker who will never admit.

2009-09-14T15:46:00.001+08:00

Every single thing is a little too overwhelming for someone like me to handle.

God's power is overwhelming. So overwhelming and over the top till I don't wanna stop thanking Him. I don't think a life time would be long enough to say my thank you(s), so right now I'm trying to figure out the right way. Whatever it is, everything's TOO TOO good to be true. *sigh*

The month of September's coming to and end, and finally, FINALLY my PMR's really really coming for real. For once I thought it was never going to happen and the agony of feeling all the fears in the world were really taking over me. Ahhh shucks. But once I found out what I'm really capable of, I'm going to stick to that and as long as I ask for help from the 'right one', I'll be fine. He'll always lend me a hand of his. :) But before that, RAYA WILL BE HERE! In another 6 more days. Can you believe that? A year had gone by and still, I really didn't know where it went! I'm crossing my fingers, praying hard that Raya this year will be this Sunday. Cos if it falls on a Monday, it'll be a total turn off! No going back to 'kampung' due to track and field competition. *sigh* I know, I know, you'll probably say, "People going for raya, you go and run?! wat lah!". But ahhh some things just can't be avoided, and this is one of it. A lot of things will be happening in between the month of September and October and somehow, I think they're causing me terrible headaches. Grrr.

But I'm me, and 'I' can do anything as long as effort comes along with it! ;)

Trials are still on! Last 2 papers tomorrow! MATHS AND GEO! :D Pffft haha. I'm actually taking my time off cos for some reason, I have no mood as in NO MOTIVATION WHATSOEVER to study in the evenings. It's really bad actually since we only have 24 hours in a day, minus the hours that I can't study, I don't have much time! OMG. I should probably be a zombie. That's the only way. Ahhh, I can do it I can do it. :) I've tried my best doing revisions and I'm a good girl now :D So I hope He'll lend me his hand, but whatever comes out of this, I'm taking it with an open heart. Who cares what other people think, it's MY RESULTS. What I've done is what I've worked for. I know I'm working hard *minus this blogging session* and I'm going to work harder! So, YAAAAAAAARGGGHH! :D Right.

Kinda pissed off currently cos I had to rewrite the whole thing up there since some uncle turned off whatever main switch there is down there. They're repairing my house! :D Yay! :D

I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you!
You wanna touch me too!
*dedicated to those As. I know you As wanna touch me! Come touuucchh me!*
HAHAHAHA. :D

Ahhh I really want my straight As. *uisehhh, I'm calling them mine :P *

Looking back at some last year's pictures and comparing them to mine now. :D

2008! :D

2009! :P

A year doesn't change much. HAHAHAHA. I should wait when I'm 25. :P

Okay let's 'kurik' some OLDER PICS!

AHAH!

2007! :DD

2009!! HAHAHA.

SOME OLDERRR~

2005! :D

2009! ;)

Haha. Omg, it's been 4 years and I really am fatter! HAHAHAHA. :D
Ehhh I was 11, now I'm 15 okay. Means, PUBERTY! :D Acceptable.

I'm not gonna let her out of this one. :P

2006! :D

2009! :D

It has seriously been 3 years and Omg so much have changed!

And btw, it's the 14th of September today. DAMN IT.
I should really stop counting the days now because for some reason I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FACE REALITY! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.
I still miss you tho. ;) muah! :*
I miss you I miss you.
I is mishing is the you. :P
♥

Rusty blog.

2009-09-04T20:36:00.001+08:00

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. :)

It's a FRIDAY NIGHT! And I can't do anything about it cos I'm still underage. Right. So hello again, bloggy. My darling Sulina demanded for a blog update, so voila! Here it is. :D

Everything's good so far. I've been burying my head in every single book that I see and trying my best to finish them off before my exams. Yay I used to think that I could never finish studying all these chapters but hoho, look what I did! :D Sometimes I shall never look down on my own capability la. :)

I'm really afraid of the exams. The fear of not getting those straight As. I could imagine the disappointment on my parents' face if I don't get those As. Argh! Maybe that's the reason why I haven't been sleeping well lately. Not only being unable to sleep well but NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP as well! Huaaa. I only get 1 or 2 hours of sleep every night and the rest of the night went to night-dreaming and tossing and turning. Maybe it's because of the fasting? Or the fears? Or am I thinking too much? If I am, what am I thinking... really? Some things are just too hard to explain lah. :S

I walked into the school compound this morning feeling like a WALKING ZOMBIE.

Yay. Merdeka.

About the track lover. I have nothing much to say since... everything has been exposed. HAHA. And I've learnt my lesson. :D I still love you. And I think I will always love you. Despite the thissss and thatsss. :D So yes. Itu lah. Umm. Okay. Baiklah. Sekian terima kasih. hahahaha.

I REALLY DONNO WAT TO BLOG!

SULINA U BLOG FOR ME LA!
hahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahahaha.

Okay I give up.
Grrr.
Blog next time.
I miss si track lover. :P

I eat, breathe, sleep You. You know that?

2009-08-20T18:06:00.000+08:00

It's MY OFF DAY FROM TRAINING TODAY!
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
*sohappysorelaxedsonice*
Yet so fat.

Okay so I just had my dinner and it's only 6pm. Hahahaha. I know, I might die of starvation somewhere around. . . well, later but it's okay. A little sacrifice mah, I don't wanna get fat okay since today no workout. *konea ur so useless got gym in the house oso dont wanna get ur fatass moving*

For God's sake! Today's the only day I could get my mind off training! Not that I dislike it, just that sometimes you need to get yourself away from it. *Even lovers need a holiday okay*. Hahahaha.

Right, so what to blog about?

I don't really have much time la cos after this I'm gonna go back to studying then shower then STUDY again. *sigh* I know right some of you might just say, "Oh PMR only mah sure can wan". Yaaaa can! Of course can... If you studied for it then OF COURSE CAN. Being the procrastinator that I am, I doubt that. Haha. Okay it's not that I'm lacking of self confidence but I'm just worried. Everyone's been bugging me about getting straight A's and if I don't, it's gonna be the END OF THE WORLD.

I just can't wait to get into FORM 4 next year! Hahahahahah. yay yay yay.
:D
Everyone's worrying about it BUT ME! I'm such an angel aren't I?

Everyone's been so busy in school with the National Day decoration and stuff. Since I'm seating with a bunch of hyperactive kids, *which I love since they're my besties* I was dragged along to help with the decoration as well. I must say everything looks nice! With the big ass astronaut with a gun in his hand. Hahahahaha. Credit goes to Syiqin for having ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD and being the one super damnly excited to do the decoration. No one's group in the class could compete with "our" group's decoration man. Just admit it. :P *Sorry to the rest of the Dynamicians*. hahahaha.

And everyone's also busy doing revisions on this subject, and on THAT subject some more with THOSE subjects. *sigh* You can almost feel the stress burning your own brain! Even the sky is crying for us right now! *damn heavy rain okay* Sigh. But I like the rain. Haha. :)

Ramadhan's JUST AROUND THE CORNER!*excites*
Then everything will just be much much muuuuch better!
I'm not gonna stop with the training though cos it's important to STAY FIT! Since I have competition during Raya *sigh I know right* so I have to keep on training. I hope my fats will get burned more during the fasting month! Yay. :D

Then after Raya it will be PMR! Oh my lord. :( Allah bless me. Please bless me. :( Oh my god. If I don't ace this one my parents will hate me so bad they won't even want me as a daughter anymore. *THE PRESSURE OF GETTING STRAIGHT As KILLS!*

BAHASA MELAYU
BAHASA INGGERIS
MATHEMATICS
SCIENCE
SEJARAH
GEOGRAFI
PENDIDIKAN ISLAM
KEMAHIRAN HIDUP BERSEPADU

Crap.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I need As! :(

My heart's beating so fast right now I need to blog about something else.
Right.

So, I just dropped by Su Ann the hotness' blog and yes she's so damn hot I feel so lucky to be one of the people that SHE KNOWS. hahaha. :P Alaaaaa I miss her la. So then I dropped by her hot BF'S blog also *SuAnn don't kill me just yet it's a compliment your bf is good looking okay and u noe u want me to say that* then I saw the pictures! God damn it so sweet I can eat those pictures up. Sigh. I want a guy who hugs me from the back and wants to take picture OF IT! :( Shall I begin with the list now?

1. I want a guy who calls me baby.

2. I want a guy who hugs me from the back and kisses my neck.
3. I want a guy who has an earring on one ear. :)
4. I want a guy who enjoys doing the same thing as I do.
5. I want a bad boy. A good bad boy.
6. I want a guy who's tall enough so that I could tip toe to kiss him.
7. I want a guy who's able to say, "This is my girlfriend." to his mom without hesitating.
8. I want a relationship that doesn't need to be hidden from the whole entire world.
9. I want a guy who knows how to take care of himself, his looks, his whole entire self.
10. I want a guy who wears a damn nice perfume so that I would wanna stick to him for the rest of the night. Or maybe just the whole time. =)

Lastly, I want a guy who respects me for who I am. Who doesn't judge me. Who doesn't say bad things about my family, especially MY FAMILY MEMBERS. Who doesn't diss them in front of his FAMILY and CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS. I want a guy who listens to me, who will do what I say *only if its reasonable* and a guy who will take good care of me. I want a guy who's a listener and also a guy who knows when to keep his mouth shut. I want a guy who can make me feel protected and safe and not feel as if like I'm a useless useless uselss girl. I want a guy who understands me, who knows me, who's MY BEST FRIEND. And I DON'T WANT A GUY WHO WANTS TO OWN ME AND TO HAVE ME JUST FOR THE SAKE OF SATISFYING HIMSELF.

I don't want a guy WHO 'WANTS' ME JUST BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE CAN'T HAVE ME.
stupid.

I'm so pissed at myself for putting myself in that situation. I hate a guy who just doesn't know what he's saying. He just keeps on saying it without considering MY FEELINGS. Ahhh fuck. =( It's nice to know that I've put him LAST on my list of priorities in life. I need someone WAAAAY better than that. I need someone to make me happy. Although it IS weird to sit next to him and not feel the same way I did few months back. It's like, I never wanna hold hands with him anymore because my heart is not there in that moment, in that place or even in the relationship anymore. It's nice to know that my heart is no longer depending on it anymore. It's nice to know that I CAN love someone else. Where few months ago I cried to myself saying that I could never live with someone else. But infact, I CAN! And I do love someone else. I don't mind if he doesn't, because I'm just glad to know that I'm still able to love another person. =)

And track lover yes, it's you.

Ahhh I still can't express my feelings towards you and I'm sorry! It's great with what's been going on with us. I'm not expecting more, like I said this is enough for me. I wouldn't want anything to change. I love you. I really do bebeh! Haha. :) I'm waiting for you to come back like you want me to! And I told you what makes me LOVE YOU right? So yeah, those are the things. And yes, you make me feel as if there's more carbon dioxide in this world than oxygen. Haha. :) So you're the air that I breathe. Sehh, jiwang right me? :P

I love you track lover.
I would say your name but... It's gonna create some sort of explosion and some 'ketidakseimbangan ekosistem'. hahaha.
TINGAU! ;) :*
:D

Okay I need to shower THEN STUDY! yay!