Ain't Chicken

2008-10-06T08:37:00.003-05:00

The Husband began my day for me with delight by popping out a one liner that made me laugh out loud in a big guffaw:

I'm standing by the bed. I'm getting ready to go to work. I've opened my jewelry box and spread it out. I'm bent over, picking through it, trying to find a gold bracelet he gave me for my birthday. He walks up to the end of the bed and in his best Marlin Perkins "Wild Kingdom" off camera whisper says:

The female of the species carefully grazes her territory, picking through the succulent fruits of her labor.

This man, after all these years, makes me laugh out loud. Sweet!

2008-10-01T19:55:00.002-05:00

Got power back on Sunday. Back to work on Monday. Lots of pictures to post - still getting used to having my own sofa to slouch on!!

On Monday morning I was getting dressed to go to work and I couldn't find a toothbrush. The toothbrush I had used before the storm was still sitting in its cup but - somehow - the thought of using it was really icky. I searched my luggage for the new one the last hotel had given me. I couldn't find it. I dug around in the bathroom drawer for the pack of new ones I always (usually?) have.

I change my toothbrush pretty often so I buy those 5 or 10 packs of cheap-o brushes. I'll never understand paying $5 for a toothbrush. Do you REALLY think it matters if you have all sorts of different colored bristles pointing out at different lengths and in different directions?? Holy crap, people. Just brush up and down. Twice a day. You'll be OK. REALLY.

So anyway I couldn't find the hotel toothbrush and I couldn't find my stash of cheap-o new ones so there I was. Standing in the bathroom (at least it was MINE!!) with a towel wrapped around my head, deodorant under the arms, clean clothes hanging in the closet waiting to be put on, staring at the toothbrush in the cup.

It's not like it was really old. Maybe a couple of weeks before the storm old. But it had been sitting there for two weeks. Dry. In this house, closed up, no air conditioning, no circulation. It just seemed - truly- ick. But not as ick as my un-brushed teeth.

So - you know - my mother didn't raise me to be without resources at hand - I dumped a puddle of Listerine in my palm and scrubbed the offending brush in it - until it was a nice neon blue. Rinse. Repeat. Then I brushed my teeth. They felt good after, but on the way home I stopped at the drug store and bought about 20 new cheap-o toothbrushes. I think I'm ready for just about anything now.

2008-09-26T19:04:00.002-05:00

The Laura Recovery Center has a list of about 340 people so far who have people looking for them. There are sixty-four people on that list from Bolivar. The Red Cross has a list that is searchable by those looking for missing people. Local law enforcement folks are taking reports, too.

The Barnacle says it will have "more" on the missing on Sunday. Let's see what they have to say - about why it's taken two weeks for anyone to notice that hundreds of people aren't there who - were?

2008-09-26T11:12:00.003-05:00

Top Management at CenterPoint salary.

$4,572,798 David McClanahan President and CEO CenterPoint Energy

$1,532,675 Gary L. Whitlock Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer

$1,462,191 Scott E. Rozzell Executive V. President, General Counsel & Corp Secretary

$1,435,924 Thomas R. Standish Sr. V.President and Group President Regulated Operations

$1,037,791 Byron R. Kelley Sr. Vice President and Group Pres. Pipelines & Field Services

I'm just saying...

2008-09-26T10:33:00.003-05:00

Coming back into the city today. A contrast in smells.

This morning, 6:30 a.m., leaving the house we had rented for the last two days outside of Cat Springs.

Top down – sun just beginning to turn the sky pink and orange. The Black Dog riding shotgun. The smell is moist dew on mossy oak trees and an occasional whiff of a working ranch that hosts cows, llamas, buffalo, and donkeys. The soft, distant, earthy smell of fresh manure.

An hour and a half of inching into Houston on the Katy Freeway. Exhaust: diesel, gasoline, and emotional.

Eldridge Road north from I-10. Eldridge cuts through Bear Creek, which is part of the Addicks Reservoir flood zone built by the Army Corp of Engineers. This is a fun road. Wide, good pavement and smooth but determined curves. There is usually very little traffic, which allows for a good, fast run.

Today the smell is a gag inducing stench. The entire reservoir has been standing in a few feet of water for two weeks. It is vile. These are acres and acres which are covered with tall grasses, and oak, pine, and mesquite trees that normally smell fresh and wild. The land here is still rough. Even though it is surrounded by the city more or less on all sides, there is wildlife that thrives. White tail deer, skunks, armadillos, snakes, opossum, feral cats, raptors, song birds, and the occasional report of an alligator that most of us locals laugh off. The stench is overwhelming.

This is the smell of rotting vegetation, animal waste, and the bloated reek of the bodies of animals killed in the hurricane, their bodies decomposing and becoming part of the overall revolting melange. I gasp for air through my mouth, demanding more speed from my car – fleeing this place where I would normally linger.

Turn right on Clay. Head out of the flood zone, into the suburbs of Spring Branch. I cross Gessner. The smell is sublime. It is irresistible. It is sensual. It is hedonistic after Bear Creek. It is unmistakable - fresh baked bread. It is the epitome of warmth, safety, peace, and industry. It is the local HEB Bakery. It is the morning’s fresh bread coming from the massive industrial ovens.

It is the contrast of a city devastated by wind and rain. The stench of the flood zone and the heaven of fresh, hot bread both say the same thing: progress is happening. Life is slowly returning. Some things must rot to begin to live again. Some things rise with only a little yeast and warm water.

It is hard to be here. When I am not here I can almost - almost - put it out of my mind - the why of why I'm in another town, not sleeping in my own bed. I am glad to be back near Houston - we've got a hotel in Katy for a few day - but I miss my home and I want to go back. CenterPoint, I'm trying to have faith.

2008-09-22T20:38:00.001-05:00

You THINK you want to know what a flerg is but, trust me, you don't.

2008-09-22T19:44:00.002-05:00

Normal population on Bolivar Peninsula: about 30,000
Number of people who didn't evacuate for Ike: several hundred
Number of people rescued after Ike: approximately 60
Number of dead, according to the Galveston County Medical Examiner: Eight
Statewide reports of "total" number of dead range from 26 - 30

What happened to all the others? If there were "several hundred" - which I readily believe - who didn't leave Bolivar, and there are sixty confirmed rescues, and the Galveston medical examiner says they've got eight bodies - WHAT THE HELL?

Why isn't the media talking about this? Where are those other people? If you target "several hundred" and say that's maybe about 250, take away the 60 who were rescued, and the 8 bodies that are in Galveston, where the hell are those other 180 odd people? I haven't heard Not One Word.

Normally when lots of people die, the media is on it like white on rice. Swarming!! Pushing other reporters out of the way! Oh, the hyperbole that the media pukes up when there is a large loss of life!

So where is the media? Where is the body count?

Are they all just afraid to say what so many of us are thinking? That these people were just washed out to sea, their bodies never to be recovered? Because that's what most of the people I talk with think. We think they're just g o n e.

2008-09-17T17:19:00.003-05:00

Had to come back to Houston yesterday so The Husband could restore the network at his company. No power. No phone. No internet. It feels pre-historic here except for the bite-sized Snickers bars.

Thanks for the access to check email oh great Mel of the "has power" social structure of the world and man I forgot how much I love washing machines!! Woohoo!

I have lots of pictures that I plan to inflict upon you all when I have free access to the net. I'm waiting for my local Panera to get power so I can hang there.

Oh - one more thing - while I really like my job, I'm finding that I am not heartbroken that the school has water damage and no power - if I have to live in a pre-historic world at least I don't have to go to work with hairy legs.

2008-09-14T20:04:00.003-05:00

Hey Rick - thanks for checking in. I could post because our next door neighbor had a generator and he let us string a line so we could charge phones and laptops.

Me, The Husband, and The Black Dog all skeedadled from Houston about 2am Sunday morning and got to Austin at 5am. We drove through horrible lightening storms most of the way - the kind when you drive on the highway at 15 mph and pray. Power, water, land line phone gone at home. That we could live with but when the gunfire started we worried. When a bullet hit our back fence and we had enough. All the stores were out of food and ice all day, but they sure had beer and all day a LOT of people had been walking out of them with 48 can packs of Bud - then they had nothing to do all day but drink. It got very ugly very fast.

We just got a hotel room about an hour ago. I've had the first hot shower since Friday - I washed my hair with that wonderful Austin soft water that comes out of the Edwards Aquifer which I love so much! I feel soft, clean, and safe. I'm so much luckier than the other 3 million or so people down in Houston, not to mention the half million or so on the coast who now have NOTHING. Blessings from someone with more pull than I have. Sheesh.

I have photos from the drive around The Husband and I took after most of the downed trees in our little neighborhood were more or less pulled out of the road but we bugged out so quickly I didn't bring my camera. I'll show them to you later.

We lost our fence - can you imagine that that is all the damage our house has???? I don't know how we deserve that. I am shocked.

When I got up to the counter here at the hotel and they said I could have a room I pretty much lost it. The lady was so nice. When she handed me the form to sign I just started crying... I realized that I have just been running on adreniline for days and at that moment that I felt safe - a dry place to stay - a chance to get clean - I just stood at the counter and cried. I feel so selfish to feel that relief when I know people are whose lives are devestated and they are on chairs in their front yards with nothing left so I guess I'm just that shallow because - really - I'm so grateful to be here.

2008-09-13T14:28:00.002-05:00

Wanna go to the beach? Not so much.

The Husband and I took a short tour of the local neighborhood around 11am. There was still rain and some wind. The only thing open was a donut shop. Praise God for deep fried dough and sugar. There was a serious line. But we didn't stop - I has stocked up on breakfast bars and Reese's peanut butter cups so we're OK on the sugar needs.

A few current headlines:

On Galveston officials are "pleading" with the media not to photograph corpses.

The Balinese was completely wiped out.

Here in Houston proper there are about 4.5 million without power. That includes us. That's about 99% of the households in this area.

2008-09-12T22:20:00.002-05:00

Just lost power. Gone to save battery. Will check in later.

This is the monument they put up a few years ago in honor of the victims of the 1900 Galveston storm - this was taken just before sundown.

2008-09-12T19:06:00.003-05:00

It's 7pm. This is my backyard. Little winds. And The Black Dog. woosh.woosh. Little winds.

2008-09-12T17:11:00.002-05:00

See this picture? That's the Galveston seawall. It's still not been topped, but the flood waters are already behind it. The only thing it is doing is currently holding back the actual force of the waves. It will do that for a little while longer probably. The building is the Flagship Hotel. This is looking from the west. Can't tell you how many times I've spent the night at this hotel on the OTHER side - the west side are the rooms for the tourists. WE like the east side because they look at out on the water instead of the seawall. Oh the things I've done on those balconies. (Shhhh.)

Right now the water in the Gulf is about 8 feet below the pier that the Flagship is on. The waves are crashing WAY up over the edge and hitting the hotel and pouring back off of the parking lot.

The is the Galveston seawall a couple of hours ago.

These are houses not far down west from where the seawall ends on Galveston. This was taken from a helicopter over the Gulf, looking inland around 3pm.

2008-09-12T16:05:00.003-05:00

Two copies of all the photos: ten years worth of pictures and the new "this is what we own" pictures all on the laptop and the 2 gig drive - the drive in the "Gotta Go" bags. A thousand stupid souls on Galveston.

One of the NEW things I've heard that I've never heard with a storm before: On Boliver, the officials have sent out a request to those who are still there that they take a permanent black marker and write their social security numbers on their forearms so that their bodies can be identified after the storm. If that doesn't say "You're a dumb fuck" I don't know what does.

Me? Doing laundry. Digging stuff out that has been in baskets for a few weeks, and stuff that has been actually lost for a while. I don't think I even knew that I own six pair of bed sheets. I did find a few socks that The Husband has been missing. And I've been wondering where that blue sweaater has been.

I want to pack an extra box of amunition in my "Gotta Go Bag", but I'm unable to decide if it should be magnum or not. This has really struck me. Holy cow. I am such a Texan. Hmmmm... tracers, magnums, wad cutters, or just specials?

Oh! And don't forget q-tips and the Chanel No.5. There are some things a girl just has to have.

2008-09-12T12:45:00.003-05:00

It's 12:45p Friday afternoon. Surfside is flooded - Highway 257 is covered by the Intracoastal Waterway. In Galveston the seawall is covered with debris. The waves are crashing up to about 20 in the air when they hit. There are some of the stupidest people in the world standing on the edge of the seawall taking pictures of the waves. How stupid can humanity be? There you go. That's it.

There are still people on Boliver. OK. I guess that's stupider. One guy was just saying on the phone that They missed the last ferry last night, and that by the time they tried to get out on 87 it was covered with water, and Rollover Pass was inundated. There are 150 calls piled up with the Coast Guard on Boliver, people asking that they and their families be rescued. Do they not know that helicopters can't fly in high wind? Oh, did I say Too Stupid To Live? LITERALLY? You've probably never been on Boliver. I've been going there for about 30 years. Go look at your kitchen counter. Take a pound of sugar. Open the bag and pour it out in a long line along the counter. The counter is the Gulf on one side, Galveston and Trinity Bay on the other. The sugar is Boliver. Oh, wait. Run your hand along the line of sugar and flatten it out a little more. There. That's Boliver. It's flat. FLAT. Highest elevation is 10 feet. Sort of like the brains of the people still on the peninsula.

The winds down there aren't about 40mph yet. This is just water now. No rain. We've got about 5mph up here in Spring Branch. We're forecast for about 85mph sustained by about 3am. I hate it when a storm comes in at night. You don't get to see it and there isn't any good video later. There is looting in Kemah. LOOTING!! Already!! Broadway is flooded on Galveston.

I have some relatives hiding in the dog track at Texas City - they can't leave their dogs. Texas City has a levee, but lots of the people there have finally realized that the seawall might keep the bay from doing to them what is happening on Galveston, but it's not going to stop the overflow and the backfill. Again, stupid. People in Texas City are saying "We went through Alicia and we were fine!" How many synonyms are there for IDIOTS?

We've taken pictures of everything. We've got the food, the water, the flashlights, the Beijin radio so we can hear the weather after we loose the lights. We're about to pack a couple of bags so that if we need to leave the house we can just grab them and we'll have some clothes and our Must Have papers. And my jewelry box of course. The Black Dog is low maintenance thank goodness.

We haven't boarded up - we've got everything that could maybe fly in the garage. I'm about to go out and chop down the hibiscus that is next the the bedroom window. The BIG trees by our house are on the south side so if they tear out they're likely to land on the neighbors to the left instead of us. Our front yard oak is only about 9 years old so it's not big enough to tear out the whole roof it it comes down. It would just take out the dining room. The garage door is strapped down. The Honda is out front so we can use it after the storm if we need to, or so the Miata will be safe in the garage and we'll have one good car if we loose the Honda. We've got the safe room almost ready - water, dry food. Towels, radio, pillows, blankets. I was a couple of years from being born during Carla but my Mother always talked about it with horror in her voice.

I've heard "hunker down" 18 times so far. Three of them were from The Husband. I threatened to kill him. Now he's saying "shelter in place." Better. I'll be back. Gotta go chop down the hibiscus.

2008-09-11T00:22:00.002-05:00

It's 12:22am Thursday morning, September 11. We're being inundated by WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE stories of Hurricane Ike. I've just read the front page of the Houston Chronicle. I've been cruising the Chron most of the last couple of days, waiting for it. And now, finally, it has happened.

As of this moment the HUNKERING DOWN has begun. Thanks Dow Chemical in Freeport for taking that first hunk for the rest of us.

2008-08-29T23:12:00.003-05:00

If you're the kind of person who REALLY likes to be ready for anything you might have already spent your weekend studying FEMA's web site. Not for hurricane preparation plans, and not so you can learn in advance how to file for that government assistance after the wind blows. I would be willing to bet that you just recently checked "What to do if a terrorist calls me and wants to talk about his bomb" off of your "Things to Learn JUST IN CASE" list.

I'm down with the bomb stuff but - I didn't have the guts to click on "Nuclear Blast".

Your government, hard at work. Oh - and then there's the whole "Nagin Has Already Ordered Evacuations" story when Gustav hasn't even made it into the Gulf yet. I'm all poised to panic and everything, but I know that as soon as I find that last bottle of bacon bit flavored CheezWiz in the pantry I'll be fine.

2008-08-27T22:19:00.002-05:00

Houston - 4th largest city in the country. About 500 square miles. Untold foreign languages spoken, restaurants with cuisine from parts of the world that, frankly, I'm not even sure exist. Most people don't know who lives next door to them. Thousands live in cookie-cutter, crowded apartment complexes where doors stay locked and curtains stay closed.

And then, today, I read this:

Fundraiser for burial, medical expenses of Spring Branch man set for Sept. 4

Michael Berger, a 40-year-old Spring Branch resident and community activist, died Aug. 6 of complications from throat cancer.

Berger was known in the community for voluntarily collecting bandit signs in public right of way.

The four Spring Branch Super Neighborhoods, along with the Spring Branch Management District, Metropolitan Landscaping and VFW Post 8790, will host a fundraiser and memorial service for Berger from 6:30- 9 p.m. Sept. 4 at VFW 8790, 1560 Foley St. , to assist his mother, Spring Branch resident Joan Berger, with burial and medical expenses.

There will be a barbecue plate dinner. Tickets are $6 per person with a bandit sign, $10 per person without a bandit sign.

A fund has also been established at Woodforest National Bank in the Walmart at 2740 Gessner.

Is that the coolest thing in the world? In a massive, crowded city where a person can be anonymous their whole life - a small neighborhood gets together to support a mom who's son has died at an age that was way too damned young.

There are a lot of wonderful community activities that happen at our local VFW - in fact I think it's truly neat that we HAVE VFW halls because it seems like such an anachronism in this day - but this one is above the average level of cool.

I've lived in Spring Branch for almost every day of my life but I've never been to the VFW. I think I might go have me some BBQ (which, of course, means I'll get some MEAT) on the 4th. And I'll bring a sign.

2008-08-17T12:37:00.013-05:00

Random life stuff.

1. I signed onto Blogger just now to write this post and they have "updated" the dashboard interface and they're sure I'll "LIKE IT". Well listen up you jackasses. I DO NOT LIKE IT. I DO NOT LIKE IT WITH GREEN EGGS AND HAM. Stop screwing around with stuff.

And now back to our originally scheduled blog post:

1. If you want to really entice me, do what Jarib Kent did: Send me spam with the subject line "Carol is a Moron." I swear to God. And I'm keeping it just 'cause.

2. The Sister called today. She may have been infested with alien gay germs but at least she observed The Weekend Rule and didn't call until 12:01pm. But then the continuing saga of weird continued. Let's listen in...

Phone: BRIIIIIIIINGGG. BRIIIIIIIINGGG. BRIIIINNNNNNNGGG.
Me: dhiopwlkhjdfs.
Phone: BRRRIIIIIIINNGGGGGGGGGOIIIIIINGNNGGG.
Me: shjoasdkjgejh.
Me: (yank phone from table, flip open) Hwkoish?
Her: Hey, are you OK?
Me: Ahioe Aknodiu.
Her: Are you awake?
Me: AKHJGDOIEN!! LKSFN!!!!
Her: Sorry I woke you up.
Me:
Me:
Her: I just want to know if you want to go to Boliver with Us (she and The Girlfriend.)
Me: Boildifver??
Her: Yeah we cleaned out all the fresh and frozen meat from the fridge and we're going down there to have a big BBQ.* Ya'll should come! Pack up the Black Dog and come down.
Me: Boildifver?
Her: Are you OK?
Me:
Me:
Me: Boliver?
Me: Boliver?
Me: You're going to Boliver? In August? To set a fire?
Her: Yeah! It's not all nasty and humid today.
Me: You two are out of your fucking minds. Call me in November and invite me to go to Boliver and set a fire.
Her: Oh you mean to The Gulf of Colorado.
Me:
Me:

#2. I'm sitting in the Panera Bread on 105 in Conroe yesterday. We'll get into WHY I'm there sometime soon because this is NOT normal behavior for me. Anyway, I had brought my laptop to entertain myself while I waited for the person who was coming to meet me. I ran my email, read a couple of newspapers. Then I clicked on my link to AC here so I could go cruise some of the links I keep on the left over there.

But the Panera spam filter gave me this instead:

Pron. I'm PRON!! I feel so proud.

#3. I tried wearing real shoes last week. School is starting in about a week or so and I've been wearing slides for three months - since THE ANKLE SURGERY. (You wanna see the picture again? Yeah, I didn't think so.)

So I tried wearing some regular shoes last week because I'll need to you know - not look like it's still summer anymore - and all that. My left foot was OK (of course it had the stretchy brace on it). But my right foot? Hurt like hell. Would have gotten a blister if I hadn't gone back to my slides. Oh the irony. I've basically been barefoot since May 1 (my natural and preferred state). Now I will pay. PAY I tell you. I must return to the land of the Shod People and I'm not going to be happy about it.

#4. OK. Let's talk about BBQ. Mmmmmmm. BBQ. I've talked with ya'll before about Coopers up near Llano. Mmmmmmmmm. BBQ. So now I am going to share with you a musical review of BBQ. Mmmmmmm. BBQ. Pay attention and you'll learn something.

BBQ is MEAT.

________________________________________
*See attached video about BBQ.

2008-08-04T19:12:00.010-05:00

"I've got cats that kill animals. When they kill something, they eat it. You don't even eat it. You're not even an animal. You're the worst thing I've ever seen." -Randy Ertman - Jennifer's dad

"He will be treated to appropriate Texas justice." - Gov. Rick Perry

"I'm not sure that your future parole officer has even been BORN yet and I'm not sure that you deserve for him to have even been born yet." -Judge Pat Shelton when he ordered the transfer of Venancio Medellin from juvenile detention to adult prison.

Elizabeth Pena made it to 16.

Jennifer Ertman made it to 14.

Jose Medellin has lived longer in prison, fighting his death sentence, more years than Jennifer Ertman lived in her whole life.

Raped. Beaten. Kicked. Sodomized. Terrorized. Shared amongst six soon-to-be murderers. Again. Raped. Sodomized. Again. Ribs broken. Begging. Begging. Begging. Teeth knocked out. Still. Genitals torn and bloodied. Brutally strangled. First with a belt that was pulled so tightly around Jennifer's neck that the belt broke. Again. For more than an hour. Sodomized. Raped. Beaten. Dragged through the trees. Forced to kneel. Their shoe laces slicing into their throats. Dead. Kicked some more, just to make sure. Their throats stomped on. Left to rot in the woods of a park. Rotting for four days. Decaying. In the heat, with the bugs.

"The world court has no standing in Texas and Texas is not bound by a ruling or edict from a foreign court," -Gov. Rick Perry's spokesman Robert Black

"The world court don't mean diddly. This business belongs in the state of Texas. The people of the state of Texas support the execution. We thank them. The rest of them can go to hell." -Randy Ertman

"I believe we've been through all the red tape we can go through. It's time to rock and roll." -Adolfo Pena - Elizabeth's dad

I was 29 in 2003 when these girls were destroyed by six sub-human men. One of them is now dead. Another will die tomorrow night in a small room about 60 miles north of me. The wait has been too long. There is another one that will die, but we don't know when yet. There are others - they were juveniles when they violated and desecrated the bodies, hearts, minds and ultimately annihilate the lives of Jennifer Ertman and Elizabeth Pena - who will only be in prison for decades.

I was 29 in 2003. I lived only a few miles from the park on T.C. Jester where the lives of these two girls were stolen. I remember the news coverage of the search for them after they disappeared. I will never, never forget the abject horror of Jennifer's father when her body, along with Elizabeth's, was found down in those woods by the bayou. I will always remember his face as he stumbled around on the grass, on the edge of sanity, as the police wrapped him in their arms, holding him back from running into the woods where he knew his daughter's body had been discarded.

He wants a friend.
Jose Ernesto Medellin

Sean Derrick O'Brien
"It is the worst mistake that I ever made in my whole life." - O'Brien's final statement from death row.

Raul Omar Villarreal

Efrain Perez

Peter Anthony Cantu

He's looking for a friend!!
He's working on a college degree, likes painting and country music, and has "denied" himself the chance to make friends.
Venancio Medellin

In my gut I believe that the death penalty is right. In my head I believe Texas should put a moratorium - an open ended moratorium - on executions because the justice system in Texas is so screwed up.

But sometimes.... sometimes.... the sentiment expressed on the radio today by a woman who was asked what she thought cuts to the heart of the matter:

"They should have been shot on sight."

Indeed. Let's rock and roll.

2008-08-03T11:16:00.000-05:00

Ever laughed so hard you almost peed your pants when you'd been out of bed less than 20 minutes?

The phone rings - it's a friend of me and The Husband's. We don't get to talk with this friend often because he's been "in country" for abut 5 years now. Not "in" this country. In THAT country. Actually, in THOSE countries. He was in Afghanistan for about three years or so. Then he requested a transfer to Iraq because the living conditions there are better. Wow, huh?

Anyway - this friend of ours is a guy The Husband grew up with - they've known one another since young childhood. The Husband is a very conservative man, although he isn't a right wing fanatic. He's a fanatic, just not that way. I don't think. I could be wrong. Stockholm and all that, you know.

This buddy is a raving, drooling lunatic fringe leftie. I won't even say Democrat because that's too conservative. I won't say Unabomber because A) he's not that smart an B) He's not that energetic.

So Lunatic Fringe Buddy calls this morning and The Husband is chatting with him. You wanna know how wild this modern world is? This buddy was calling from Iraq, about 12 miles from the Iranian border. Now don't go getting all "We're going to bomb the Mujahdeen!!!" crap on me, OK? Because this Fringe Buddy? He's with one of those contract companies. (Remember when the military used to peel its own potatoes? REMEMBER GOMER PYLE???)

Not that this guy is running a food wagon - he's a tech geek - but none the less he's there. So Fringe and The Hus are chat chat chatting. (Remember the weirdness of this world? They're CHATTING aimlessly from Houston to 12 miles from the Iraqi border.)

I'm not really listening, but I hear something about Fringe Boy and the Iraqi National Defense Form Training Center. I can't help but add in to the conversation "So you're becoming more Republican everyday?" and I totally crack up. Then I say, "He's a Lunatic Fringe Liberal profiting off the American Industrial Military Complex!"

Damned I'm funny.

2008-07-31T23:26:00.003-05:00

My trip to the grocery store yesterday:

-Three and a half pounds of Bananas, two Nectarines, four small Tomatoes, one bag of Clementines.

-One package of Hot Dog Buns, one gallon Distilled Water.

-Four AA Batteries, two pocket size tubes of Aquaphor.

-One Red Baron frozen pizza, two packages of Hillshire Hot Links.

-Two boxes of Kellogg Breakfast Bars (12 bars total).

-One six pack of Jello Pudding cups (dulce de leche).

Forty. Five. Freaking. Dollars.

Your government at work for you:

-No votes on expanding drilling.

-No votes on building refineries and nuclear plants.

-No votes on alternative energy tax credits.

But, hey! You did:

-Finally all agree that slavery was... you know ...bad.

-Provide billions to pay off banks that made suck ass, irresponsible loans to people who couldn't afford them (and the banks AND people knew they couldn't afford them) so that the people wouldn't loose their million dollar homes and the banks would still have lots of money to play with. MY MONEY.

-Investigate the living hell out of doping in baseball.

-Talk about supporting the goals and ideals of "National Life Insurance Awareness Month".

-Express support for designation of January 29, 2009, as "National Data Privacy Day". (Bwahahahahahahahahahaha.)

-Think about enhancing drug trafficking interdiction by creating a Federal felony relating to operating or embarking in a submersible or semi-submersible vessel without nationality and on an international voyage. (WTF!?!?)

AND thanks to Rep. Carol Shea-Porter (D-NH), you all then left on a five week vacation beginning... today!

Thanks, Congress! You are truly kicking ass. Really. No - really. I mean that. Yeah. Really. (I know - even I don't believe me.)

2008-07-30T23:11:00.004-05:00

I met Snoop Dogg today. Well, met might be a little strong.

I was in the downtown Spec's buying wine gift bags (why are they all either ugly or shiny?) for an office thing. Oh, and some brie. Sometimes a girl simply must have brie.

Anyway - when I walked into the store there was a sign that said something about winning tickets to the upcoming Snoop concert. I am not a big Snoopy, and I was thinking BRIE, so I passed along on my way.

So I'm over in the gourmet food section - something like a thousand kinds of cheese and I shit you not I mean even LINDBERGER cheese - and I'm just browsing around. As I push my cart around the end of a refrigerated case I see an employee approaching - she is carrying a big box. I stop so she can pass by. Then there is a guy - a very tall, skinny, stoned ass looking black guy - walking behind her carrying a big cardboard box of: cheese.

We make eye contact.
He smiles at me.
I smile back.
Him: Hey! (subtle head nod)
Me: Hi. (subtle head nod)
He starts to pass me. I say... "Nice hat."

I know he walked past me thinking "That lily white girl just dissed my hat! That girl don't even know who I AM!"

Well listen up, Calvin. I KNOW who you are, OK? There happened to be the occasion in my misbegotten past where I sat on my living room sofa smoking a roach while watching the TV where - lo and behold - I saw YOU sitting on YOUR sofa smoking a roach. We have bongded (he he he) and you don't even know it.

So yeah. I know who you are. I knew who you were when we were standing there going "hey" in the stinky cheese aisle. But you know what? Your hat still suckizzled.

The hat? It was truly a bad hat. It was the same shape as the blue plastic shower cap he is wearing in that picture up there but it was more full and droopy. If you take that and overlay it with some kind of horrible synthetic bright, twisted pattern full of primary colors and bizarre shapes you will be close to imagining this hat. BUT I must give the man props. He was carrying a big box of cheese. I guess he got bored hanging around, went to some employee and said "Hey, can I carry the cheezle?".

2008-07-24T23:52:00.003-05:00

To trade or not to trade?

I'm thinking about upgrading my 2004 Miata to a 2008. I am on the cusp of my factory warranty and I think I'm at the point where I will start loosing significant value if I don't move up to a newer model. I have a NB and the 2005 was the last of that line so that will start making a big difference soon.

I found a blue 2008 that is used with about 2K on it with the convenience package that I want. They have $19,899 (like I'm too stupid to know that's basically $20 thousand dollars). This isn't a horrible price but I want them to come down at least a thousand just because I want them to. I'm a pretty good negoatiator when it comes to buying cars so we'll see how that goes. The blue is my second choice of color - the copper red is my first because it's gawjus but it's not worth and extra $3k to get a new one.

My trade in with all the extras on it would have been at $23K when I bought it in 2004. I got it used with 1,200 miles on it for $17,800. So I don't thinkk getting this blue on for another thousand down is unreasonable. It would go for about $25K if it were new.

I've researched the worth of my 2004 - which truly is in excellent condition - and for private sale it should go in the neighborhood of $14K - it only has 30K miles on it - but if I trade it in I don't know that I can get more than $10 or $11K out of the dealer. I hate to trade in. I've never actually done it. I've always done a private sale.

But I've always done it with all the time in the world - the timing on this would have to be tight because once I sell my 2004 I won't have a car until I buy my new one. That could be tricky.

I hate grown up decisions. I want some ice cream.

2008-07-13T19:59:00.004-05:00

Not only do I hate change, I hate change that involves people leaving me.

My office mate is leaving. It's really sort of my own fault. She's so darned smart and has such a great work ethic. She's got energy, ambition, personality, and is a pleasure to spend the day with.

We had talked about her wanting more responsibility and more variety in her job. I knew she was OK with her job but that she really wanted more. She has been here in Houston for only about a year so she doesn't have a network of people or an in depth knowledge of the local non-profit sector. So. SO. I introduced her to a bunch of my friends.

And THEN I invited her to lunch with my Cult Leader. We all had a nice time and as we were standing in the parking lot saying goodbye, my Cult Leader handed my office mate her card and said something smart assed and sort of out of the side of her mouth about if my office mate, you know, was ever interested in looking for a job, to call her.

The next day my Cult Leader called to say something about - oh you know I'm not really trying to steal her ha. ha. freaking ha. But I told her the truth. I had set up the lunch so the my office mate could make some connections.

Now, about two months later, she's make some damned connections. She's connected herself right into a job offer and the fucking bitch is turning in her two week notice tomorrow. There are SO MANY things wrong with this I can't even stand it. Oh - let's go ahead and list them.

1. She is LEAVING ME.
2. I am supposed to go on vacation a week from tomorrow.
3. I have one week to learn how to do the parts of her job that I know nothing about.
4. Unless I cancel my vacation. Which would give me two weeks.
5. Our boss is on his 4th week of vacation that he has been trying to take for three years.
6. He is in NYC and she is going to EMAIL and CALL him to quit. This sucks so badly.
7. Did I mention she is LEAVING ME?
8. LEAVING ME.
9. LEAVING ME.
10. It's my own fault.
11. I'm going to have to VOLUNTEER to cancel my vacation.
12. L E A V I N G M E.
13. There is a reason I don't do her job. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO.
14. She will be incredibly hard to replace.
15. School starts in about a month.
16. She just about couldn't pick a worse time to LEAVE ME.
17. I am going to miss her so much.
18. We enjoy spending the day together SO MUCH.
19. I don't want to have to break in another office mate. What if it wants to play the RADIO during the day? I'd hate to have to kill it.
20. C H A N G E. GRRRRR

OH! And my sister? You know - my best friend? The girl I shared a bed with when I was four years old, who I've loved for 44 years, who never says no when I call her at 3am to go out for pancakes, who taught me how to roller skate and who, when I was about 9, I once chased out of the house (she had done something rotten to me) wielding a stuffed bear with a broken music box in it. I chucked that bear at her when she was about halfway to the sidewalk. It turned end over end and flew through the air in slow motion. Until it WHACK hit her BLAM right in the middle of the back of her head KAPOW! and dropped her like a stone. Apparently that music box was some tough stuff. She had a knot on her head for weeks. I loved that bear.

ANYWAY - My sister. SHE IS LEAVING ME. She is moving to FUCKING COLORADO. This is the woman who I was once in Austin with who screamed bloody murder and damned near puked in my car because I was driving down a switchback to a restaurant on the edge of Lake Travis. I mentioned to her that COLORADO has, you know, MOUNTAINS. She said it would be OK, that she is getting lots of advice on how to drive in SNOW. FUCKING. SNOW. I need to say that again. MOUNTAINS. SNOW. And then... and THEN... after about a year there will be a transfer to ......WAIT FOR IT...... O T T O W A. As in CANAFUCKINGDA.

The fucking bitch is leaving me.

I'm not so happy these days. I hate change. And I hate being deserted. I wish I had a bear with a broken music box in its butt 'cause I know just what to do with it.

Bitches.