Fay a Fearless Flyer

A Few Steps Back

2008-03-24T10:42:00.004Z

Hello

I've not been around in a while. I've been doing a college course and it takes up a lot of my free time, but this has meant that I've not been as active on the website or my blog, with consequences I wasn't expecting...

After everything I've been through with regards to overcoming my fear of flying, which you can read about, I've been wondering if I have actually overcome it like I thought I had?? I know I'm better than what I was because I can draw back on some good experiences and on the knowledge I've learnt, but I also think I've taken a few steps back. I feel like a smoker, as they always say even when they have given up - once you're a smoker you're always a smoker! You know they can pick one up at anytime and go back to it. It's suddenly dawned on me that this is something you and I are going to have to be working on for the rest of our lives!! We have to realise this and not let it slip or think we are cured!

I'm wanting to book a holiday to the Amalfi Coast and I feel like I'm starting from square one again because the buzz of doing my flights last year has gone. I've not even thought of flying, but now the summers coming I want a holiday but realise that means facing my fear again.

I'm going to be posting some of my fears with the lead up to my holiday - that's if I book it. That's my next step and I'll let you know.

Fingers crossed...

Time to Put What I'd Learnt into Practice

2007-11-14T16:32:00.000Z

After that I didn't book a flight until a year later. Like I've said, you have to remember that overcoming your fear doesn't happen over night! You have to really change your way of thinking and I was still putting what I'd learnt into practice. I've always thought I would overcome it, but now know that without the support of the forum, I wouldn't have done it. When I did eventually book my flight, I didn't really think about it, as it was weeks away. But as it was looming I just kept remembering everything I'd learnt, rather than thinking the bad thoughts I used to think. I'd not been able to do this in the past, but this time I was able to. I was only going to Glasgow for the weekend, as I wanted to stay close so if the worse came to the worse I could hire a car and drive. This was a great comfort and I would advise getting in some tester flights - short and sweet ones to get you going. Also the flight was very cheap, so I knew I wasn't going to loose much money if I didn't make it. Keith had said to me in the past, not to put too much pressure on myself and if I didn't do it - so what! I kept this in my mind. No one was forcing me and no one has to force you either. Don't beat yourself up if you don't go through with it. Like I've said keep trying! You might not succeed everytime, but you will get there in the end and feel very proud. I still have wobblers, but I know I can message the forum at anytime and have some much needed advise and support. I know I'm not alone at anytime!

I did manage to fly there and back to Glasgow with no dramas and no tears for the first time in years! I found that remaining calm and not letting my mind wonder to morbid thoughts really kept me positive. Nothing was going to happen to me on those flights. Just like nothing has happened to all my friends and family who have flown year in and year out. I kept reminding myself of this and it really worked. Also I read a book all the way, even whilst boarding the plane. I didn't want to think about what I was doing and let my mind wonder off and that's what you need to do too. Anything to keep you occupied. Also the sensations used to bother me, but this time I kept reminding myself that it was perfectly normal, you know planes fly and don't just drop out the sky or fall to bits. I used to think we were going down at every movement, but remember to think you are not!! Also I used to worry about what the cabin crew ''were up to'' and I would try and analyse what they were thinking - watching them to see if they were panicked too. I mean if they were, surly that meant there was a problem? But Keith reminded me that they were doing a normal, everyday job, just like you and I do. Sometimes we have a gossip about the latest soaps or share a joke. Well of course they do that too and when they are whispering to eachother it doesn't mean it's because something is wrong. They are humans.

After I had done the Glasgow flight I booked a summer holiday to Majorca. Still close, but abroad at least! I put all my thoughts and tips into practice again and managed a flight over there - even putting my book down to admire the view. I ended up having to come back on the flight alone but I did it, once again with no panic or tears. It felt amazing. Who would have thought I would have done that in the past - the girl who refused to come back from Majorca on a plane all those years ago was now flying alone.

The thought of doing the flight and going through it all is a lot worse than the actual doing it.

Flying Without Fear. Seminar & DVD

2007-10-22T09:40:00.000Z

I was lucky enough to be invited through www.flyingwithoutfear.com the chance to attend a seminar, which included a flight hosted by Keith who wanted to make a DVD to help people like me. As I was still so keen to beat my fear, I jumped at the chance. I know I had already been on one of these, but I knew through reading the website over the prior months that there was the support network available, which I felt was missing the last time. It was also a chance to meet Keith and other people who had been posting their own concerns on the site too - you know put some faces to names. The DVD is available to buy by the way, if you check out the website.

So attended the seminar. This time it was a smaller, more intimate group and I didn't feel swamped by so many people. Looking at Keith's blog I can see that the intention is to run more of these, so keep your eyes pealed, as I highly recommend it.

During the seminar I was quite quiet, just listening to explanations and putting them into perspective. People had lots of questions that were easily answered by Keith. We listened to some sounds of the aeroplane, saw clips of airports - all of which were designed to normalise the process we have to go through. Airports are intimidating and sometimes it looks like chaos, but as Keith reassured us there are many things behind the scenes going on. We just don't see it and it makes the airport a very slick operation. It's everyone's intention to make the airport and aircraft extremely safe.

When it came to the flight I was withdrawn whilst waiting in the departure lounge. I was gathering my thoughts. Some people seemed OK on the outside, but I'm sure on the inside they weren't. I can't help but show how I'm feeling and I was quite tearful. We all handle things in different ways. When I boarded I had an urge to get off due to feeling claustrophobic and I could feel a panic attack coming on, but with the support from - believe it or not, other fearful passengers I was calmed down and remained in my seat. During take off I was crouched in my seat - almost bracing myself for the worse. I felt panic and honestly thought I was going to die. Keith kept reassuring us and told me to open my eyes and relax. The pilot but the wheels down whilst we were up. This helped as we could hear the sound it made and could also hear the change in engine noise due to the drag of the wheels, which was explained to us to try and not make us feel frightened. All of which were normal sounds, where as if I heard anything in the past I thought it meant disaster. It was good to finally understand.

Afterwards I felt amazing! This little group all together had got through the flight.

Fear of Flying. Keep Trying

2007-10-08T20:34:00.000Z

Hello

After my failed attempt at going on holiday, all my confidence was lost! I felt I would never be able to spend the money, to risk bottling it again. I looked on the net and saw that an airline offered a course for people like me - which included a flight. So I booked on. Have you ever gone on one of these? How did you find it? I found that the course wasn't for me. There must of been 100+ people there. Not very personal at all. I did manage to do the flight, although I was hysterical and felt I was going to die. But as I had actually got on a plane again, I thought I could do it so booked another holiday. I must say that I've been very determined to overcome this - something else you need to be!! Try not to hide away from your fear. Be strong, relax, realise it's not easy, but don't beat yourself up about it. You're not alone and there are people like me that understand and have been there too!

Anyway this time I flew to Majorca (panic attacks on the plane this time). Unfortunately therefore all holiday I was a mess - very anxious at the thought of getting on the plane to come back. Consequently I didn't and came back overland, 3 days before I was meant to. So the course hadn't 'cured' me. Thinking back I see why - there was no other support network. Once the course was over, that was it! I felt like someone on a conveyor belt, rattled through and sent off on my way. I think support is vital when making the steps to overcome your fear. A few hours as a faceless person wasn't enough.

I then decided to attempt a city break to Dublin - nice and close. But I cancelled the trip 2 days before going. I couldn't sleep, kept fantasising that something horrific was going to happen and worried about how I would react on the plane. So as I'm sure you can imagine, now I felt like I couldn't go anywhere incase I didn't make it there or back.

This is when I searched the net again in 2004 and found www.flyingwithoutfear.com and I've not looked back! I saw that there was a forum where people had posted their fears, concerns, worries etc. It was the support network I felt I needed where people understood me and knew what I meant. People like me offering tips and advise. Also a retired pilot called Keith ran it, who could answer some technical questions, who had many, many flying hours under his belt offering support too. I decided to post aswell - I had nothing to loose. I wasn't all that involved in the website at the beginning. I was still dubious that nothing now was going to work! But I kept looking at the site every now and then. But then all was about to change......

I tell you what - having this fear has been exhausting. At times I've felt my mind was going to blow. I've felt very alone, scared, angry and couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel although I kept trying. But believe me - you can do it like I have. I've got to dash, but will be back to tell you how things changed.

Fay

Fear of Flying. How My Fear Started

2007-10-03T19:16:00.000Z

Well here I am and I thought I would start with a brief post on me and where this fear of flying started.

I had jetted off for my holidays all my life and always loved it - looked out the window, enjoyed the sensations, even looked forward to coming home because I was able to go on a plane again. It just didn't bother me in the slightest. But one year I went on holiday with a girl who had a fear. Because she was so petrified and was saying things that I had never thought about, I could feel it kinda rubbing off on me! My mind was going into over drive. These awful thoughts about flying and these feelings I was having, I had never had or experienced before and they where just coming in from nowhere.

The following year I went on a holiday and could feel that angst creeping in again. I did it, although I was uncomfortable on the flight and strangely kept my fingers in my ears so I couldn't hear the noises. Something I hadn't done before. I also noticed that I was watching the cabin crew constantly, just in case I saw them looking as if something abnormal was going on.

When I was 24 (I'm 30 now), I went to go on holiday with some friends. During the run up to the trip, I could feel these feelings and hear these thoughts again. I started to think that something awful would happen if I got on the plane or I would embarrass myself by crying, screaming even and just generally making a fool of myself. No one wants a panic attack, so I felt I didn't want to put myself in a position where I could have one. This time I got as far as the check in desk and wouldn't go any further. I'd just built it up and my ''fear of flying'' had got a hold! The girls went off without me and I went home. But the relief I felt at not having to do it was immense!

As your here reading this, I'm sure you feel or have felt at some point the same as me. My next post will be of how I started to try to overcome this and hopefully you too can get to where I am today.

Fay

Hi from Fay

2007-10-01T20:23:00.000Z

Hi, I'm Fay and my blog is about how you too can overcome your fear of flying. You can see me below (I'm the one with dark hair) in the DVD we made with the team at flyingwithoutfear.com