PERSONIFICATION OF CRAZY

TMI TUESDAY #194

2009-07-07T11:16:00.002-04:00

1. Where was the first place you ever had sex?

It started in the living room and ended up in my bedroom.

2. How often do you lie?

Not as much as I used to. Nothing good comes of it. Sadly, I learned the hard way.

3. If you could only be one, would you rather be smart or good looking?

Smart.

4. Have you ever passed out or suffered memory loss from drinking too much?

Nope, and I don't have any plans too. There isn't enough drinking in the world.

5. Top or bottom?

If we're talking toilet paper, then bottom. If we're talking women, then top. I'm a breast man.

Bonus: Do you have any catalogs for toys/videos/lingere delivered to your home?

Nope.

In Memory Of Shalanda

2009-07-01T10:01:00.002-04:00

It's been a little more than 13 years (13 years and 5 days to be exact) since I last saw Shalanda. Not because I didn't want to see her again; more so because that's how life played out. I spent the summer having fun in the city then headed down to Baltimore to start life as a college student. She spent the summer in the city as well, then went back to continuing her life as a college student down in Virginia. The next time I had even thought about asking about her, she had been dead for three years; victim of a car accident on I-95. Gone too soon.

This is just one of many events in my life that have reminded me that life is short. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, which is why I live my life to the fullest every chance I get. I have lived by the "no regrets, no apologies" motto for a while now with the idea that if I don't wake up tomorrow, I know that I have lived a hell of a life. At the same time, every day I wake up, be thankful and make the most of it.

Shalanda's closest friends created a facebook group in her memory and today, we received a message reminding us that today is the day that her parents set aside to honor her memory. We were all asked to something special as a tribute to her and I'm asking all of you to go out and do one of the following as a tribute to someone in your life who you lost way too soon:

*****Post a story about someone close to you that you've lost

*****Release a ballon into the air

*****Buy a white or yellow rose and give it to someone you care about

*****Plant a flower

*****Call a relative of someone you've lost and let them know that you still think about them.

*****Mentor a child

*****Call or e-mail someone you haven't spoken to in awhile

*****Post your favorite inspirational quote

*****Do something crazy

If you decide to participate, I'd love to know about it. I thank you in advance, as does Shalanda and those who's memory you keep alive.

I Wanna Kiss You Girl

2009-06-25T08:00:00.001-04:00

If you are reading this and still thinks a kiss is just a kiss, you ain't been kissed yet. At least, not by the right person, or at the right time, or in the right situation. For those of us out there who have kissed in the rain and not cared about getting wet; those of us who have had our knees buckle because of a simple touch of the lips from someone else; those of us who have forgotten where we were and who was around us, we know better. A kiss is far more than just a kiss.

A kiss can say what words cannot. It can envoke emotions or make them go away. It can end arguments. It can make a sad person happy and make a horny person go absolutely out of their mind. Whether its the first time you kiss a person or the last, each kiss you have with someone means something and gives a memory that will last forever.

Can you remember your first kiss? The first time someone made your knees buckle? Your most memorable kiss? The best kisser you know? The worse kisser you know? Of course you can. Kisses do that to you. If you can't, you've been kissing the wrong people.

TMI Tuesday: June 23, 2009

2009-06-23T10:05:00.003-04:00

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?

I have done it before. That would describe my entire two year situation with "Ay Papi". The sex was amazing, but there was no emotional bonding or growth. If the opportunity presented itself again, I'd get out once there were signs that there was no love and all lust.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?

Love that lasts forever.

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?

If I could do it again, I would have married "Charlotte". If that had happened, I wouldn't have had to deal with "Guyana".

4. if you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?

That's a tough one. Of the women I've been with, there are two that stand out. At the same time, there are two women that I haven't been with (yet) that I would love to give it to as well. At the same time, if this was going to be the last time, I would use it on a sure thing. I would go with "KC Masterpiece"

5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)

Happiness

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday:

2009-06-18T16:26:00.000-04:00

1. You talked a really good game, but when it came down to backing up your words you ran like a coward.

2. We all knew why I left. The fifth wheel gets stuck in the trunk.

3. The invitation clearly said "All White Affair". Now I understand you may not feel comfortable wearing all white, but to come in with no white on at all is almost disrespectful.

4. If you don't get a plus one, don't bring a plus one.

5. I'd understand if you were paying for it, but its free, so stop complaining.

6. Why is it that you think you're doing me a favor when you are actually trying to make me a hostage.

7. I'd understand if it was just a courtesy call, but you know what I was calling about. The least you could do is call me back.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: Essence Magazine

2009-06-11T13:55:00.004-04:00

I didn't really have my usual list of weekly vents ready and was going to skip it today until I woke up and checked my e-mail. "Blog Crush II" sent me an e-mail that she received from Essence Magazine. They listed their top 25 Slow Jams of All-Time. Knowing that I love music the way I do, she thought I'd find it interesting. As soon as I saw the #1 song, I knew I wasn't going to agree with the list (not that i didn't like the #1 song, I just didn't think it was #1 worthy). Anyway, since I have nothing else to day, I'll present to you, my top 25 Slow Jams of All-Time

1. "Ready Or Not" - After 7 (didn't even make the Essence Top 25)

2. "Love TKO" - Teddy Pendergrass (didn't even make the Essence Top 25)

3. "You Put A Move On My Heart" - Tamia (#19 on the Essence Top 25)

4. "Beauty" - Dru Hill (didn't even make the Essence Top 25)

5. "Adore" - Prince (#11 on the Essence Top 25)

6. "Insatiable" - Prince (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

7. "Moments In Love" - Art Of Noise (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

8. "Cause I Love You" - Lenny Williams (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

9. "Do Me, Baby" - Me'lissa Morgan (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

10. "Love Train" - Confunktion (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

11. "Sexual Healing" - Marvin Gaye (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

12. "Touched A Dream" - R. Kelly (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

13. "You" - Jessie Powell (#20 on the Essense Top 25)

14. "Fire & Desire" - Rick James & Teena Marie (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

15. "Whip Appeal" - Babyface (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

16. "Piano In The Dark" - Brenda Russell (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

17. "Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

18. "Between The Sheet" - The Isley Brothers (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

19. "Two Occasions" - The Deele (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

20. "Sweet Love" - Anita Baker (#13 on the Essense Top 25)

21. "For The Lover In You" - Shalamar (#5 on the Essense Top 25)

22. "Slow Jam" - Midnight Star (#1 on the Essense Top 25)

23. "You Give Good Love" - Whitney Houston (#12 on the Essence Top 25)

24. "Kiss And Say Goodbye" - The Manhattans (not on the Essence Top 25)

25. "Stairway To Heaven" - The O'Jay's (#4 on the Essence Top 25)

I'm sure you looked at my list and didn't see your favorite slow jam, so feel free to tell me what it is in the comment section.

TMI Tuesday: Have You Ever Edition

2009-06-09T22:54:00.002-04:00

Have you ever . . .

1. had sex with someone ten years older or younger than you?

No. Came extremely close, but I guess that only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

2. drawn from a nude model or been a nude model?

Nope. Much like strip clubs, that whole look, but don't touch thing doesn't do it for me.

3. had sex at a company Christmas party?

Nope. In 7 years, I've only gone to two, and didn't get lucky at either of them.

4. had a blind date?

Yes, and after the last one, I'd be very careful before doing it again.

>5. slept with a teacher?

Yes. Of course she wasn't my teacher, but she is a teacher.

Bonus (as in optional): had sex with someone within an hour of meeting them?

In person, yes, but we had been chatting on line for a few hours before meeting.

TMI Tuesday - 6/2/09

2009-06-02T09:00:00.002-04:00

1. What was the last movie you saw on a date?

"The Soloist"

2. What was the last meal you had on a date?

Salmon New Orleans from Cabana

3. When was the last time you made out in the car on a date? More?

Sometime last year.

4. Using a dating websites do you think you are more likely to find a "hook up" or a relationship?

A hook up

5. Do you have any special "first" date rituals? Flowers, certain restaurant, ect.

If I did, I wouldn't share them here. Can't share everything.

BONUS QUESTION: Do you believe in sex on the first date? Can a relationship bloom if you have sex on the first date?

If it happens, it happens, but I don't expect it, and wouldn't want it if I thought there was potential for a relationship. Some things are worth waiting for.

Independence Day

2009-06-01T10:00:00.003-04:00

The United States celebrates its Independence Day on July 4th. I celebrate my Independence Day on June 1st. Granted, it's not independence from a country, but then again, as far as the blogosphere is concerned, it might as well be. June 1st is the day I celebrate my independence from "Guyana".

Those of you who have been with me since 2005 are probably tired of hearing about "Guyana". For those who haven't been along for the whole ride, the short version of the story is like this: We were friends in high school, lost touch, reconnected after college, dated off and on, had another falling out, reconciled again, and ultimately got engaged. One year ago today, the engagement was called off. I'll spare you the details of that night in this post, but I am sure you can imagine it was a long night.

Since that night I have marinated over the entire situation. I've learned my lessons and prepared myself for the next situation. The relationship was tough, but I survived it, and as the saying goes, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. I'm a much stronger person than I was a year ago, and that's about the only thing I can thank "Guyana" for. A bad breakup is better than a bad divorce any day of the year. My advice to anyone out there, is make sure you are sure and that the person you're marrying truly accepts you for you. Without that, your relationship is doomed to fail.

Miami Revisited - Day 1

2009-05-29T09:28:00.002-04:00

With everything that happened last year, I really didn't get a chance to give my trip to Miami last year its proper due here in the blogosphere. The biggest thing to happen, of course, was my decision to call off my engagement (a decision that was well received here in the blogosphere and in my offline life), but there were so many other things that made the trip good, in spite of. I realized who my good friends were, did things I'd never done before, and made memories that will last a lifetime.

With the trip paid for, I found myself leaving Queens and heading for Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey. You don't really know how much your bag weighs until you have to carry it seven blocks to a train station. I didn't find out that my bag weighed 53 pounds until I got to the airport and put it on the scale. On top of that, I was carrying my portable DVD player and some magazines I had picked up from the train station. Thankfully, the lady at the counter didn't charge me the $50 for the bag being too heavy.

While I was waiting in the airport, I decided to have breakfast at the Johnny Rocket's Diner that was in the airport. Anyone who knows me personally, knows I have a special place in my heart for diners and diner food so this was truly a perfect place for breakfast. As I waited for my turkey and cheese veggie omlette I received a call from my friend "Slim Jim". It was one of those "belated happy birthday, wish I could be in Miami with you calls" (hindsight being what it is, I have taken a trip with her before and if that trip was any indication of how she is when she travels, I wish she was going to Miami too). After that, I called my mother and my fiance' to let them know I was at the airport, then I received a call that wasn't expected, but well received.

If there was every a person in my life who I would consider "the one who got away" it would be my friend "Duece". Our friendship has had its highs and lows, but the lowest of lows cancelled out all of the highs. At this time last year we were on an upswing, but still didn't think we were at a point for her to tell me what she told me. It left me perplexed and optimistic at the same time. It also left me with a pleasant distraction for the three hour flight I was about to take.

I left from Newardk at 11 o'clock and arrived at Miami International Airport Thursday at 2:30. There, I was met by my best friend, "The Doctor" and my other friend "Taz", who had come in a day earlier because they didn't want to wait. I probably would have been there with them, but I didn't want to travel on my birthday. Having never been in Miami before I had no idea what to expect weatherwise. I knew it was going to be hot and tried to dress accordingly, but failed miserably. It was so damn humid when I arrived that I wanted to go in my bag right there at the airport and throw some shorts on.

When we left the airport we went straight to the hotel so I could get settled, and a little more comfortable. We agree to meet up again around 7 so we could get the party started. In the interim, I showered, shaved, hit the gym and got dressed. While I was talking to "Duece" earlier in the day, she told me about some spots that I should visit while in Miami. I decided to hit up one of those spots for dinner. We met around 7 and headed out to a restaurant in Little Havana called Versailles. Great food, large portion sizes, watered-down Sangria (two out of three ain't bad). After dinner we hit up South Beach. After walking up and down Ocean Avenue, we ended up at Wet Willies. After a few "Call-A-Cabs" later we decided to call it a night. One day down, three more to go.

Wednesday Weirdness: #57

2009-05-27T08:03:00.001-04:00

1.) How easily are you insulted?

Depends on who's shooting the insults

2.) How often do you perform oral sex on your SO?

It would definitely be every chance I'd get.

3.) What brand of shoes do you find to be most comfortable?

As far as sneakers go, give me the Reebok Classics.

4.) What are 3 to 5 items you NEVER leave the house without?

Keys, iPod, wallet, and my cell phone.

5.) Who did you look up to as you were growing up? Who do you look up to now?

My mother, now and then.

6.) If you've ever been a strip club of any type, what was one of your most memorable moments?

I have never been to a strip club and have no desire to do so.

7.) Should prostituation be legal? Why or why not?

Yes. That way the government can tax it.

TMI Tuesday #188:

2009-05-26T13:43:00.003-04:00

1. Before the industrial revolution, most people never traveled more than 30 miles from their home. How far from your birth place do you now live?

I currently live about 15 miles from where I was born.

2. What is the fartherest distancet from home you have you have ever had sex or an orgasm? What is there farthest distance you have travelled from your home to have a sexual encounter?

I live in New York City and the farthest away from home I have had sex was Cancun, Mexico. The furthest I have travelled solely for sex is from Queens, New York to Yonkers, New York. It's only a 24 mile trip, but on public transportation, it amounts to about almost 2 hours.

3. How many states (or Canadian provences or your country's geopolitical division) and counties have you had sex and/or an orgasms in?

7 states and one country outside of the United States.

4. Have you ever had sex in a vehicle? While the vehicle was moving?

Yes, but it wasn't moving. We were parked in parking lot.

5. Do you have any travel related fantasy? If so, share, please.

I have no desire to be a member of the Mile High Club, but I do have a travel related fantasy. I would love to have sex on the A express train as it goes from the Howard Beach station to the Beach Channel station. It's about 4 miles between stations and at the rate the train goes, there's about 10-12 minutes if it the train doesn't get held up by a red signal.

Bonus: On holidays that honor our military do you tend to rememeber those currently serving or veterans of military service?

Both.

Just Me And The Boys

2009-05-24T10:08:00.002-04:00

I will be the first to say that I don't have a lot of friends. I have a difficult time letting people get to close. I have a lot of associates, but again, not too many friends. Of the few friends that I do have, some have become close enough to be considered extended family (and as we all know, the family you choose is sometimes better than the family you inherit). In my world, that would include my friends "Sigma" and "Twin 2", who I have known for 25 years and have been closer to me than my own brothers. Of course, "Sigma" and "Twin 2" are both married so we don't hang out like we did in high school, but when we do, its always a night to remember, and last night was no exception.

Thanks to the marvel that is facebook, we have been able to get in touch with a lot of people we've hung out with in high school. We all met up last month for a mini reunion and decided after that to continue hanging out as often as possible. Yesterday, after doing their husband/daddy duties we hooked up and went to a cookout at a mutual friends house. Cards, spirits, music, jokes and plenty off laughs thoughout the night. I can't speak for them, but on my part, way too many spirits.

Nights like this are truly few and far between but I am thankful for them every time they happen. "Sigma" and "Twin 2" aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they are my brothers and I don't know what I would be like without them. Hopefully, it will be a long time before I find out.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: Double Dose

2009-05-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

Like I said, I was out of town last week. I was running so late last Thursday that I forgot to post so today you'll get a double dose. Enjoy and feel free to add your own rants in the comment section.

1. You're a grown ass man and you're afraid to get wet?

2. Stop wasting my time.

3. You took the bus 1 stop . . . are you serious?

4. The only assumption you need to make is that the people around you have lives and are not always going to be at your beck and call, especially at the last minute.

5. Speaking up, after the fact is a waste of time.

6. Just because someone confronts you doesn't mean they don't like you.

7. You need to speak up more often. . . then again, who am I to talk?

8. There's a thin line between constructive critisism and nit-picking.

9. I'm sure he appreciates the father-son time, but riding your 4 year old on the back of your moped with no helmet is not cool.

10. I don't know about you, but I hate it when my thoughts and my actions don't match.

11. Now that's what I call a cliffhanger . . . Thanks Shonda

12. If I tell you that I'm already two hours over my daytime minutes, why are you going to continue to call me for nonsense before 7pm?

13. The same way you want me to call when I'm not going to make it, you can do the same thing.

14. It would have been nice to get my moment, but I'm glad I could put a smile on your face.

15. Thank you for appreciating chivalry, but don't think that just because I hold the door open, pull your chair out, wait for you to get in the car and walk on the outside that I want to sleep with you. I do it because that's how my mother raised me.

16. You drink like a man

17. The "quiet car" should always be the last car on the train. Who's idea was it to put it in the middle.

18. Saturday is going to be interesting.

19. It could have been worse.

14.

Wednesday Weirdness: #56

2009-05-20T08:53:00.001-04:00

I haven't been around for a while. Not because I haven't had anything to write about, but because I took my birthday celebration on the road. Baltimore was very, very good to me and I want to send a special shout out to all of the Bloggers who came out on Saturday night. As always, Houlihan's was a blast. Anyway, its Wednesday, time for some weird questions. If you want to participate, just go to Wednesday Weirdness every Wednesday morning (or Tuesday night) for the questions.

1. If your boss says, "I would like to talk to you about your internet usage" what would your first reaction be?

I work from home on my home computer 90% of the time, so clearly, I would laugh in her face.

2. If you SO asks you "Does this make me look fat?" how do you answer?

"No, baby. That doesn't make you look fat, but those red velvet cupcakes you had at midnight, might have contributed to the cause."

3. What is one thing that you pay for, but resent having to do so?

Breakfast in hotel restaurants. It should be included in the price of the room.

4. A day is being created in honor of you. How should we celebrate it?

I have always liked the idea of living each day as if it was your last, so on "Organized Noise Day" the custom would be to do something you've never done before.

5. What CD or Album in your music collection do you secretly enjoy, but would be embarrassed if others heard you grooving to it?

The Best of The Righteous Brothers

6. How long do you think you would last if you were a contestant on Survivor?

I think my Boy Scout skills will prevent me from being the first eliminated, but I might not last longer than that.

Wednesday Weirdness: #55

2009-05-13T12:22:00.000-04:00

1.) What are your least favorite sounds?

The classic nails on the chalkboard

2.) Do you enjoy reading infidelity blogs? Why? If you don't, is there any reason why you don't?

A guilty pleasure, I must admit, but I don't come across them too often.

3.) If you could make one frivolous purchase right now without expense being an option, what one thing would you go buy?

Either a Wii, or a CD Jukebox

4.) Have you ever gotten drunk and then gotten behind the wheel to drive?

Depends on how you look at it. There was about an 8 hour gap, but don't think I was sober then.

5.) As an adult, have you ever been caught having sex by someone you didn't ever want to catch you in the act?

Nope, can't say that I have. "KC Masterpice"'s daughter almost walked in on us once, but that was about as close as it got.

6.) If your current significant other wound up in jail for no less than 5 years but didn't kill or physically harm anyone, would you wait for them or move on?

If I was in a relationship and that happened, the immediate reaction is to say no, but this is truly something you'd have to take on a situation by situation basis. It would take a lot for me to stay though.

7.) If you had to participate, would you rather be in a mud wrestling competition or a JellO wrestling competition?

Mud wrestling.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday:

2009-05-07T08:00:00.003-04:00

Like I said in Tuesdays post, I like talking about sex. So last night, I was in a facebook discussion when the topic of quickies came up. The question was asked, "how long should a quickie last?". Most of the people, men and women, said anywhere from 5-15 minutes. That was cool, but one woman came out and said 30 minutes. I was shocked, as were other people in the conversation. There were things that I wanted to tell her then, but I'll just say it here. . . ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND!?!?!?!?! Here are the rest of this weeks other rants.

1. Don't wake me, I'm dreaming.

2. If you are going to give your man a blowjob in his car in the middle of the day, make sure that either the car has tinted windows or you are parked in a dark alley or dead end street.

3. Thanks for the memories.

4. Just because I find you attractive, it doesn't mean I am going to automatically act on it.

5. You swear that you aren't going back to having sex with men anymore, but at the same time, you say you miss sucking dick. . . smh

6. Are you really trying to tell me more people think the cowboy was better than Lil' Kim? I'm smelling a conspiracy.

Wednesday Weirdness: #54

2009-05-06T07:57:00.002-04:00

1.) Name 3 people in history whom you would invite to a dinner party?

Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington and Grover Washington, Jr.

2.) Are there any conspiracy theories that you believe could be true?

Yes. There is a conspiracy on "Dancing With The Stars". After last night, nobody can tell me otherwise. Their is a conspiracy to get Melissa to win. There's nothing wrong with it since she can actually dance, but damn. Can we not make it that obvious?

3.) What's a weapon that you feel suits your personality?

Tranqualizer gun. Silent, but effective.

4.) If you had to let someone off of a cooking show prepare a meal for you and your family, who would you pick and why?

Rachel Ray, hands down. Definitely the most entertaining and it helps that she isn't hard on the eyes either.

5.) What brand of sliced sandwich bread do you buy most often?

Before the recession, it was Wonder Bread. Now, its whatever is affordable.

6.) How often do you try new things in bed?

Depends on the partner and their willingness.

TMI Tuesday #185: Happy Cinco de Mayo

2009-05-05T09:54:00.002-04:00

1. Have you ever bought a membership to a porn site? If yes, what is the most recent one and did you like it?

No, I haven't purchased a membership to a porn site. I like an occasional porno, but I don't need it on demand.

2. Would you rather watch a erotic/porn movie, read a story, or listen to an audio? Why?

If I am going to listen to anything, I would hope that it would be a part of me satisfying my inner vouyer. I've read a few stories, but they seem to be too perfect. I'd much rather watch a movie. Again, satisfying my inner vouyer.

3. If you have a significant other what do you do for each other to get in the mood? If you don't what would you kind of thing could a future potential long term partner do to get you in the mood?

Depends on the mode. Do I want to make love or do I want to fuck. I am a believer that foreplay starts long before you see your partner. A phone call, a gift, a text, anything to put my mind in the mood. If you can get my mind, you can have my body. At the same time, if she walked up to me and whispered something sexy in my ear, that would do it too. I had one ex that mailed me a pair of her panties with a note that said, "since you have my panties, I won't be wearing any next time you see me". Needless to say it was on.

4. When it comes to sex, how much do you talk about it with others? How comfortable are you talking about sex?

I, for one, enjoy talking about it. You can learn so much because different things work for different people. You can't sleep with everyone (as enjoyable as that sounds) so you have to talk about it so that you can learn.

5. What are the last 5 things you search for on Google (or another search engine)?

Wow. I don't even remember. I know I looked up the word "conversate" last night because somebody told me they found it to be a real word. I also remember recently googling Morgan State University's upcoming football schedule, a few song lyrics, the address to a certain Houlihan's location and the 2009 Urban League Classic.

Bonus: Have you ever had a fantasy that you were ashamed of?

Nope. Now, I might have been ashamed if I acted on some of them, but not ashamed for having them.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday:

2009-04-30T10:24:00.000-04:00

My birthday is exactly four weeks from today. That being said, I'm going to do my best to be in a good mood all of next month. That means one of two things. Tell'em How You Feel Thursday will be either really boring or really interesting the next four weeks. Anyway, here are this weeks rants:

1. Is it possible for black people to start anything on time?

2. You might want to dress for the occasion.

3. Sitting on a panel checking your cell phone says a lot about how you feel about the event.

4. There's a difference between a preacher and a teacher.

5. I'm happy for you, but at the same time, I'm jealous.

6. When the weather is this nice, I don't have a problem walking.

7. I'm doing all of the supportive, encouraging and listening, yet your boyfriend is getting all the pussy. Make that make sense to me.
7a. I guess those are the sacrifices that come with being a good friend.

8. This is 2009, things aren't the same as they were in 1997.

9. Two goals in 90 seconds . . . you guys must not have wanted it bad enough.

10. Make up your mind.

The Makings Of A Man

2009-04-29T10:27:00.003-04:00

I don't like funerals, but I find myself going to more funerals lately. Not necessarily because I was close to the dearly departed (of the three funerals I've been to this year, I wasn't close to two of them and I didn't like the third), but out of a deep rooted fear that I have. Every time I go to a funeral, I find myself doing the same thing. I don't listen to the choir. I don't listen to the obituary. I don't even listen to the eulogy. I put my face on the casket. Imagine what it would be like if I were laying in the front of the church.

Every time I think about my own funeral, I imagine an empty church. I mean, not really empty as in nobody being there because I'm sure my immediate family will be there. In this case, when I say empty, I mean, only the immediate family there. No massive choir singing, no friends crying because they wish we had more time together, nobody reflecting on the impact that I've had in their life.

The funeral I went to last night was for a Deacon from my church. The church was packed as if it was a Sunday morning. As I read the obituary and listened to person after person share a personal story, you couldn't help but realize that this man lived a full life. He overcame obstacles, became successful in everything he became a part of, and most importantly, touched the lives of others. Whether it be the children that he (and his wife) adopted and treated the same as his own children, the young cousin that he treated like a nephew, or the people he served as a mentor for, he has people who he will live on through.

The older I get, the more I realize that a person is not defined by what he has or what he is. No material item or position and person has came make them a good person. If anything, its the other way around. Like Lord Acton once said, "Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely". Instead, a person is defined by who they are. Part of Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream Speech" included the line "I have a dream today that my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character"

Others may disagree with me, but I don't think I have touched anyone's life yet. . . at least in a postive way. I have been more like an interruption, forgotten as soon as its over. That changes now! It's nice to take care of myself and make sure I have what I need/want in life, but I am also at an age where I can start giving back. That has now become a part of my work here on Earth. I can't take anything with me when my days on Earth are over, but what I leave behind could be worth so much more, and last much much longer. The future is now.

TMI Tuesday #184: It's All About Sex

2009-04-28T08:01:00.003-04:00

Drunk texting has lead to some very interesting and sometimes embarrassing situations. Unfortunately, I have not been on either end of it. I almost sent a drunk text once, but I fell asleep mid text and didn't go through with sending it when I woke up. Up until now, they have also become inside jokes between the sender and the receipient. Now, there is a website in which you can share some of the drunk texts (or drunk text conversations) with the rest of the world. When you get a chance, check out Text From Last Night and see what people do when they are drunk.

Anyway, its time for another TMI Tuesday. As always, if you want to participate, you can go to the TMI Tuesday site every Tuesday to get the questions and post your answers on your blog.

1. Have you ever had angry sex?

Yes, and I wasn't even angry at the person I was having sex with that night. I had gotten into a disagreement with someone close to me and when I returned home, my girlfriend was sitting there waiting for me. That night was probably more intense than any other night in our relationship to that point.

2. Pity sex?

No, although I have been on the other end of it.

3. "Oh well, I might as well" sex?

Yes. Ex-girlfriend + drinks at the bar + "can I come up to your room" = "oh well, I might as well" sex.

4. One-of-you-knew-it-was-goodbye-and-the-other-didn't sex?

Yes. Some of us call it "closure".

5. Don't-remember-having-it sex?

I don't remember. :-)

6. Regret-it-afterward sex?

No.

7. Can't-remember-his/her-name sex?

Nope. I remember them all . . . just in case.

8. Never-knew-his/her-name sex?

No, can't say that I'd go there. First and last name are the first two things I need to know before sleeping with someone.

Bonus: What was the worst single sexual experience of your life?

Still, to this day, it would have to be the time I caught a Charlie Horse. It messed up what otherwise would be a pretty good night.

Brother, Where Art Thou?

2009-04-24T08:28:00.002-04:00

Recently, the Associated Press did a report claiming that only 29% of the males who enroll into Historically Black Colleges & Universities (HBCU's) are able to graduate within six years. This caught the attention, and apparent ire, of an Amsterdam News report who wanted to do more than just complain about it. He wanted to do something that, in some small way, would begin to combat stats like that from being true in the future. His ire, turned into a panel discussion featuring six local HBCU graduates who are very successful in their chosen professions, and the panel discussion turned into so much more than that.

The community room at the Harlem Public Library had standing room only capacity and they were not disappointed. A panel of business professionals, politicians, celebrities spent the evening speaking about their college experiences, sharing stories about hardships and giving, not only their opinions about why that statistic exists, but suggestions as to how we can prevent this from becoming a reality in the future. That, to me, is the most important thing that came out of this discussion, especially since there were high school students in the audience. As we have more and more generations in our respective families who go to college, they will be better prepared. As more of us graduate and give back to our schools and high schools, the better prepared future generations will be.

The title of the panel discussion was "Brother, Where Art Thou?", and I can safely say, that question wasn't answered, nor do I think it was intended to. We can't change the past, but, as this panel discussion proved, there are people out there who are motivated to prevent the past from repeating itself. Our past, should not and will not interfere with the futures of the next generation of Black men who are about to go to college. If anything, it will make the future that much easier for them to deal with because they will be better prepared.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday:

2009-04-23T08:00:00.003-04:00

1. I don't care how interesting the book is, walking while reading is not recommended in New York City.

2. If we agree to meet at a certain time, why should I have to text you if I get there nine minutes early.

3. If your seven year old son refers to you by your first name, it says a lot about the relationship that you (don't) have with him.

4. If you have a cookout, and after all of the alcohol is gone, 20 people decide to go to a diner, it says a lot about how good the food was.

5. If everyone is wearing white, and you are wearing cream, you stand out like a sore thumb.

6. If the first thing that comes to mind when someone asks you why I should vote for you is "I supported Barack Obama", you might need to re-evaluate your campaign strategy.

7. There's something to be said about sneaking out of work to go to happy hour, then go back to work. I might have to try it one day.

8. Being blunt is much easier than beating around the bush when you are trying to get something.

9. Taking out your frustrations on somebody other than the person who frustrated you is not a good thing.

TMI Tuesday:

2009-04-21T08:42:00.003-04:00

Ok, I saw this one on television yesterday. There is actually a website that will help women raise the money to get breast implants. Women can go on the site, post a picture of themselves, then have people come and make donations towards the price of their procedure. Anyway, here are this weeks TMI Tuesday questions.

1. Marriage and children aside, what has been your greatest accomplishment in life?

Graduating from college. You hear so much about being a black man means that you're born with two strikes against you. They figure that by 25 you're either dead or in jail. Thankfully, not only am I alive with no criminal record, I have a college degree and a bright future. May sound corny, but its true.

2. Aside from healthy and happy children, what is your greatest ambition for the future?

A successful professional career and a successful marriage.

3. If we were to enter your real name in a search engine, what would we find?

A sports reporter, a car dealer, an author and some stuff that I did when I was in college. I didn't think my name was that common until one day I was at a bar and saw somebody with my name being interviewed on ESPN. I went home and goggled myself that night.

4. Who is the most famous person you ever met (not just in the same room as, but actually spoke with)?

I would have to say Donald Trump, although I was more starstruck when I met Egypt.

5. Parents aside, who is your biggest hero?

I would have to say my friend, who I have referred to on my blog as "Twin 1". She helped me from hitting rock bottom while I was in high school.

6. Someone once worked out the sexual version of Six Degrees of Separation - Celebrity A slept with B, who slept with C, who slept with D, making as sort of connection between A and D. Are you connected to anyone famous through six or fewer bonks?

This is definitely one question I haven't put much thought in. I don't think so, but if I am, I am not aware of it.