This Bear Bites!

My Bad

2009-03-13T12:18:00.001-05:00

I am soon leaving to have a heart stress test.
On Friday the 13th.

keep kicking while they're down

2009-03-11T05:40:00.005-05:00

Rand has been flunking blood tests. It started with one, then became three, that number was multiplied as well. Interestingly enough, it is all very low readings.

This led to his MRI of last Friday. They scanned his brain looking for a pituitary tumor. To their surprise, they did not find a tumor, but did find white spots. throughout the brain. They said this was something they would normally find in someone with high blood pressure - Which he does not have.
He is being referred to a neurologist.

Last Wednesday evening, I realized while showering that I had no feeling in my right leg from the knee down, and a call to brother nurse Jeff and we were both concerned of a possible blood clot.
Off to the emergency room at Mercy. After a two and a half hour later, I'm still in the waiting room. After asking at the desk, they said it would be another 5 hours. My final exact words were, "Fuck this, I prefer to die at home."
We left.
Our next stop was a convience store where we purchased a bottle of asprin. I swallowed three. There was a measurable relief.

So at the wee hours in the morning on our way home we then encountered a drunk driver. We immediately called 911 and did our best to keep 'up' and 'out' of this drunkard's way. We followed him through Des Moines, Johnston, onto the interstate and back into the city of Des Moines, and no where could our 911 operator locate an officer to stop this man. No squad cars in the area was repeated over and over again.
We watched and narrated to the dispatcher as he weaved back and forth across multiple lanes. Bouncing from one curb to another sending clouds of dust and bits of cement flying. He landed on top of medians, the edge of several ditches; at one point I screamed even startling the 911 operator. This unaware drunk almost creamed himself on the Des Moines river bridge.

By this point the dispatcher has tried to contact two townships, county and state police. We are alone on our quest as "no one can be found".

We end up this chase on the 2nd Ave. exit. Our inebriated friend did a 360 degree spin landing in a shallow ditch, facing out. To ensure this chase was ended, Rand pulled our van directly in front of his car.

I have by now, lost as much hope in our police as I have our health care during this long night.

I am fuming! I scream at the dispatcher, "Okay we are stopped on the exit ramp by the State Troopers station - Now can we get any police help?!" Rand has pulled our van in front of the drunk's car to block him from going any farther. He is in the ditch facing out. We are parked on the left shoulder. The dispatcher informs me that they are still trying to find somebody to help us.
The drunk who was seemingly lost in a daze for a bit seems to realize he isn't moving. He puts in in gear and rams us several times. He realizes he can't go and and puts it park again and dazes out again.
I am screaming at the dispatcher that he was ramming us, to no avail.
Our drunk buddy comes to again, looks at us, and opens his door. At this point we are hoping this idiot doesn't carry any weapons.
He gets out of his car and stands up - and down he goes.
He pulls himself up on his door with much effort. He pulls himself around to the hood and then with one hand on his hood he takes a step toward us and down he goes!
We watch and laugh as he struggles to pull himself up on his car again. Clinging to his car he makes it to the front of his hood. The dispatcher wants to know why we are laughing now. I explained he was attempting to approach us. They are still trying to find help for us.
Our drunk is now perched at the end of his hood trying to put all his effort into remaining upright. He has about two steps to make it to our vehicle. He pulls himself up straight and tall and takes a step. Down he went!
He pulls himself up on our van. Rand tentatively rolls down his window. Our drunk asks ever so nicely if we could move our vehicle so that he could get home. Rand is pretty pissed and asked him why he hit us with his car instead of asking. This seriously inebriated idiot is actually shocked to hear he ran in to us! He starts 'trying' to check our van for damage while apologizing profusely!
Rand and I keep trying to get him to understand that we are not moving. He tries to tell us he is just over a mile from home. He even offers a solution! We can follow him home to make sure it goes okay. Rand informs him that we have been following him for miles, it wasn't going okay, and we are not going to let him go any further.
We keep chatting with this guy, keeping hims busy, and finally the dispatcher lets me know that help should be there soon.
Within seconds we are surround by all sorts of police. State, County, and City. He's hauled off, his vehicle towed off and we, with a few minor scratches are on our way.

You're a mean one.....Granny Grinch! Language Alert!

2009-02-26T03:34:00.006-06:00

Sandra has a new post concerning the other "poor white trash excuse of a grandmother".

The preclude:
This woman was given the grace of seeing Lilly, even though the sperm donor has no visitation rights. Well there is a visitation order, but the sperm donor would have to complete drug rehabilitation therapy and test "clean" weekly and his roommates would have to test clean and he would have to pay child support.... oh hell, why don't they just say grow up, be a man, and at least act like you care!
It Starts:
It started to go bad when the other grandma showed up beating on Sandra's house for Sandra to answer the door. She wanted to see Lilly now!!!
Lilly was with me and Sandra was not in a position to answer the door and this woman actually scared her when she started going nuts and banging when Sandra didn't answer right away. Then she started calling her every few minutes non-stop while she was still at the house and when Sandra checked her messages - these were not done in a friendly tone. Sandra called us - we told her to call 911 and ordered her down here right away!
And the calling never stopped. For hours. Every few minutes an even angrier message.
In the beginning we wondered if she was drunk.
After awhile we decided maybe the sperm donor was behind it.
I decided my home had been interrupted enough and if he wanted his mommy to play - time to put this mommy into action.
Now mind you, this grandparent who has no rights under state law was given the GRACE of seeing Lilly and occasionally babysitting her - by Sandra. I even supported it, knowing how big my grandmother's love for Lilly is.
But the other grandparent was given two rules: Stay sober, no drinking at all
(funny story here about how SHE once was drunk and had Lilly at a pool and dropped Lilly in accidentally and fell in drunk behind her. Except for that's not funny. Sounds like a nursery rhyme meant to scare children and piss off the rest of us.)
and rule #2, don't let the sperm donor see her. Because not even the state of Iowa, nor anyone living in the state of Iowa who doesn't self-medicate, thinks thinks this guy is safe to be around her.

I discovered she broke the rules.
In fact, she bragged to me how she called the sperm donor over every time she babysat!
WASFB! (What A Stupid Fucking Bitch!) (By the way, she hates it when you call her that.)

So it was over.
She threw away the gift of seeing Lilly.
All this went down right before Christmas.
She has no sense of timing either.

Then sperm donor decided to sue for visitation rights. Couldn't go behind the law's back anymore to annoy our sweet Lilly. Lilly has complained to me in the past that Ryan (she doesn't like to call him Daddy), "flicks her and thumps her and won't even stop even when I tell him I don't like it!" Sounds like a bad play date doesn't it?
He has visitation rights, but he must want to skip the part where he has to complete rehab and stay clean. Somewhere I feel the need to throw in that he has a history of abusing females. Lilly's one. So is his mother and he learned that particular talent from his dad.
Interesting fact: Every time over the past few years when I ask the direct question, "Is your son abusing you?" she changes the subject. Not a good sign. I have had good reasons to ask plus a whole lot of my intuition.

I was feeling bad about this grandma not being able to see Lilly. It could be the sperm donor was forcing her to comply. I was actually working on Sandra to allow her to see Lilly under Sandra's supervision.
My bad.

Our first clue should have been Lilly's birthday. I was still asking Sandra to consider inviting the other grandma over that evening.
She blew that when she forced her way into Sandra's house. Yelled at Sandra, that she had the right to see Lilly on her birthday, went all through the house looking for God knows what. Sandra called us still shaking. We told her she should have called 911.. And to search her house, in case the reason WASFB went all through out the house looking through things (like drawers) was to plant some of sperm donor's evidence. But that would be giving this WASFB a lot of credit. She is not the brightest bulb on the tree.
I asked after all that -
what did she get Lilly for her birthday?
WASFB had announced to Lilly that if she wanted her presents (birthday and Christmas) she was going to have to come to her house to get them. What kind of a SFB of a grandmother doesn't at least give her grandchild a present after illegally forcing her way into their house? That much work to break the law and you didn't bring a gift?
I told Sandra time to lose her. There was nothing Lilly needed or wanted that we (collective family) couldn't buy for her. Lilly doesn't need their stuff. And they are not the kind of people we want to influence her and they have been proven by the state not to be safe for Lilly to be around.
Some time has passed and suddenly the other grandma asked Sandra and Lilly out to supper.
Sandra told me she has no idea why she said yes.

The Story:
An excerpt from Sandra's blog:
"We also stopped by [Grandmother] Jackie's the other day (don't ask). Lilly was finally able to open the presents that Jackie has been using to upset her in an attempt to manipulate me into letting her have Lilly. I mean, who tells a four year old that she has a tons of presents that she can't have unless "Mommy lets her come over to Grandma's house"? And then, when Mommy does finally let her go over and open her presents, she isn't allowed to bring any of them home but "you can come over and play with them whenever Mommy lets you". If she truly cared about Lilly having the gifts (the majority of which was from other people) then it wouldn't matter WHERE Lilly had them at! She did allow Lilly to 'borrow' one of her presents that she has to 'return' as soon as she sees Jackie again. "

Sandra described Lilly to me as a screaming, sobbing, snotty mess being forced to leave her toys behind. I couldn't imagine that kind of heartbreak as a child. At age 4 being given a whole bunch of presents and then being told they are not yours to keep. What cruelty!

I love Lilly so much I would give my life for hers.
I'd be willing to take a life for her too.

What kind of a stupid fucking parent of a sperm donor doesn't let a toddler have her presents? They are not even all hers to take. Other people who love Lilly left them for her.

You can burn in hell Jackie Nelson of Fort Dodge, Iowa. God really punishes those who hurt his children.

You stupid bitch, you are abusing Lilly mentally!
Maybe the sperm donor learned how to mentally abuse from you, not the sperm donor's father as you claim!

You broke the trusting innocence of a child.

I went from from happy to super psycho bitch on a total stranger in public. I caught her literally stealing candy from my, then toddler, niece Crissy.

I am so much more angrier now.

Lilly thinks you are very mean to do this.
Gammy Pam will make it all better.
With hope she will forget all about you and your evil ways.

I Heart You Not

2009-02-13T23:28:00.004-06:00

Sandra has a new blog and posted a paper she wrote for school:

Child Support Fraud Proposal

I posted this very long answer on her blog and decided to bring it - plus more and the topic here.

I would love to see a particular dead beat sperm donor (Ryan Lee Nelson of Fort Dodge, Iowa) offered the alternative of terminating his parentage in lieu of back support. But I know some think he should pay back support - no matter what.
But he should give up his parental rights - regardless of anything else.
He brags about being "paid under the table" and as far as the "government knows" he "only" works 1 day per week.
Seriously - a healthly white 30 -something child support owing male who can live on working one day a week?
He goes through this great "deception" just to avoid paying more child support!
What a sperm donor.
Currently he pays $50 A MONTH (wow) with an extra bonus of $10, a WHOLE ten dollars folks, in back support. Can you be so lacking of common sense (even in the depths of drug hell) to know and do what is best for your child?
Please, just walk away and let Lilly be free from the HORROR that is you and your life!
But, I dream.

Sandra proposes hiring outsiders to collect for a percentage of the lump sum.
I'm still fighting for SSD. If you hire a lawyer they get 30-35% at least of your past payments. They can present exactly what you have and but make the difference. I don't get it. Until I get an attorney, Social Security will claim I am getting better, even though all of my doctors wrote that I had multiple, untreatable, and incurable diseases, had already hit rock bottom, and was still sinking fast. But when faced with somebody who - can take a full third of the money I need to pay for my medications and help finish paying for my powerchair - Social Security will pay you a lump sum of what you’re owed.

Most of the time you aren't going to get a lump sum from a dead beat. They aren't going to have it. Maybe we need a financial backer, like our government, who will pay the back payments for the sake of the children, and go then after the dead beat sperm donors. Then dead beats could make their back payments to the government and be given another chance to be honest with the rest of their child support payments, having been forced to learn a hard lesson at required dead beat classes. If not, hopefully the government agency, created just for this, will use Dog the Bounty Hunter and Steve Wilkos to beat it out of them.
The government would be in a better place to collect from garnishing wages to taking tax returns. When they apply for a marriage license, the new wives should have to sign a disclosure to make sure they are informed of these guys’ current obligations. They should be made aware of how this could affect their future? family.
This could be a political platform for single moms. Why should the kids live in poverty (also using more social services the taxpayers must pay for) and why isn't the government really going after these guys for the sake of saving money on social services? The moms shouldn't be lost in a tangle of red tape. After a period of say 3 months of non-payment it should be an easy paperwork file for the moms.
And if a guy has six kids by six moms (insert your favorite number here) we need to discuss neutering or a hefty fine. This will be their choice, just as having the original sperm donating sex was - their choice.
Maybe the new "Scarlet Letter" should be a bright yellow D showing these men to be the yellow bellies they are for turning their backs on their children. The D representing the words: Dad (not!), sperm Donors, and Dead-beats. Why can’t we see the most wanted dead beats for our area posted in the post office next to the most wanted criminals? Maybe some business owner will have a heart and give the dead beats first or even second (gasps) jobs to make sure they can act like men and hold their heads high in front of all children.
(Feel free to fill in the terms of custodial and non-custodial parents here. I just used the majority rules.)

I Heart You

2009-02-13T14:04:00.000-06:00

I really thought I had posted a time or two since. Shows how my mind has been. I truly don't intend to ignore this blog. I do want to blog that real sense of travel through the middle ages, as I like to call them.
Obviously I have been very busy with Suzy. She understood at a young age that when Mom was on the computer, Mom was too distracted to notice what you where up to. Now Suzy is usually content to gnaw on a chew toy snug beneath my chair.

As the weather turns cool - my pain increases.
This winter saw a top spike.

Our insurance company implemented a new policy; I get my drugs from them or pay full price. This is your basic cut and dried extortion drive.

With their help my drugs were over $500 a month. So I certainly couldn't afford to pay the full manufacturer's full driven price gouging.

I take ten medications daily. I have 14 regular prescriptions going.

I have had to call each of the doctors and request this change. Some were right on board - even faxing my scripts straight to the insurance company. Others required me to make the foot work or making appointments $$$ to get my scripts.

In all the confusion, lost scripts, and with a 14-21 day turn around (not what they promised) I ended up not having three of my most major drugs and painkillers for two weeks.

I had the consequence of a very serious withdrawal the first of half of December. It was some of the worse pain I have been through.

Merry Christmas.

Plus, instead of paying for a month supply of my drugs I am now getting a three month $upply. Plea$e pay now.

Merry Chri$tma$.

Lilly and her mom were going to be spending the entire holiday season with us. I decided I was not going to be bedridden for this quality Lilly time. I asked my most favorite pain doctor for a way to enjoy the holidays. She agreed and I was put on steroids for the holidays.

The downside: weight gain - the upside: laughter with Lilly.
I had a great Christmas!

Before this entire fiasco with my meds my life was losing to the pain. My meds have been increased and I am having better days - pain wise.

I am also having a serious struggle with depression. My doctors have recommended I see someone. Our insurance sucks. I can't afford to see someone.

What I need is to see and/or to talk to people. Any takers?

Dad is out of the hospital for those wondering.
He had pnuemonia for those lost.

It's all Suzy

2008-09-18T04:12:00.001-05:00

These cool rainy days have left Suzy and I snuggling by the fire.
Pulling the large fluffy dog, upon which Suzy is snuggling into,
in front of the fire place was entirely Suzy's doing.

This sweet little hooded shirt was my idea.
But don't worry, Suzy is quite proud to get her clothes on.

Below the rain has finally let up and the sun has come out.
We are enjoying a siesta in the "Lilly Garden".
Suzy has on a pink bandanna here, doesn't show up well in the photo.

Today we did some needed shopping at PetSmart.
Suzy is moving up a halter size (no more cute pink prints)
and also snagged a shirt which reads,
"How come the cat doesn't have to poop outside?".

A Summer Missed

2008-09-14T04:56:00.011-05:00

I will try to do a short synopsis of how I spent my summer.

Lilly and I started out with plenty of together time and in June we were sharing our 4th or 5th bout of MRSA. Nothing like multiple open wounds to keep a person out of a public pool.
Having a constant infection did wonders for my other ailments as well. Lilly and I did 3 or 4 serious antibiotics rounds. We thought we were home free by the end of June - we both finished up free and clear at the end of the month.

Life was fun for about a week.

Rand then decided take a spin on the MRSA ride.
On a Monday, Rand started with a mysterious fever for a few days. Then his knee swelled up A LOT and doc said bursitis. The next morning (Friday) his leg, from mid calf to mid thigh was triple it's size and red. We ended up in an ortho doc's office and doc was able to draw a large amount of pus off of Rand's knee. I almost threw up. I am not nursing material.
That's how we found out it was MRSA.
By Monday Rand was hospitalized. This was very serious MRSA infection. He was at serious risk of losing life and/or limb.
Mid week they let him go home with a PIC Line and we got to administer IV antibiotics directly into his heart at home. This worked well until Saturday night. I reached over to touch him in bed (I was constantly checking him in bed) and he was burning up. I woke him up and discovered his temp was over 101*. I forced Rand to dress and rushed him to the hospital.
Emergency room tip - When you have MRSA, a pic line and a temp over 101* you get right in!
In 45 minutes time Rand's temp had risen to well over 103*. They removed his pic line and started running tests. The heart monitor showed the struggle in his body. Even I could tell things were going downhill with his heart. It was a long night. Rand was finally given a new PIC Line and a very new rarely used antibiotic. Finally his fever broke.
The doctors told me had I not detected his fever and brought him in, Randy probably would have died by morning.
He was off work over a month. Pretty devastating for a guy who has hone years witout a sick day.Almost every day off the week was filled with medical appointments for Rand.
He's back to his overworking schedule - against doc's orders. He was told to keep it light for a few weeks while he got his strength back.
And our finances are beginning to recover just in time for the medical bills to start showing up.

All this payed a toll on my body. Extra work load and over the top stress - I faked it for Rand's sake as long as I could. I was afraid to let him out of my sight for awhile. I finally relaxed and sat down and haven't got up since. I haven't found my footing yet.
My doctors wanted me back in therapy long term to cope with all of this and the fact that I lave lost so much ground medically this past year. Ground that can't be recovered. And to cope with the loneliness of being home alone.

I weighed everything out the doctors were telling me and took a chunk of my earnings from my 401k to pay for the therapy I chose. Therapy doesn't come cheap and insurance wasn't going to pay for My choice. Piss on them - I knew what I needed.

And a picture is worth a thousand words:

World's best therapist

Suzy Q - the Pug

Suzy Q is just what I needed. I'm finally off the couch and potty training! I'm playing and talking to her most of the day.
Suzy was 8 wks old when I acquired her. I researched all breeds and did a thorough watch of the local humane society for a few weeks- Meeting several dogs. What it came down to - Rand said I could get a dog, only if I was totally able to care for it by myself.

Thus a Pug was my perfect match.

Because of their short noses, they do not cool as effectively as other breeds and are susceptible to heat exhaustion and shouldn't be over exercised. (We are like twins!) They are "one person dogs" who love everybody. The main daily fixation for a pug is to be near the one that they love. And that is what I needed most of all.

Suzy is doing a great job potty training."The cat did it!"

As long as it is warm and dry out, she is good to go outside. Suzy dislikes going out when it is cool or rainy or there is too much dew on the grass. We are paper training inside as well. If she hates rain - she is really going to dislike snow.
It took Camper about three days to get over this new addition. They play quite a bit of the day and Camper has even toned up a bit.

And my two best girls love each other!

I'm alive

2008-05-29T01:55:00.004-05:00

On the month-a-versery of my lack of blogging I thought it only cursory to check in. I have been fighting a nasty infection and doing some major Gramma and Lilly time. Add in some a few savage Lupus/RSD flare ups - I had nothing left for blogging.

As for Lilly: Her mom had finals and then straight into a summer school. Lilly and I are getting in some quality time in. I called it Camp Gramma.
First lesson is how to steer a trike. The thing is learn when to stop. Then learn to pedal for distance. I taught these carefully in this order because of a tragic accident resulting in 3 stitches in my lip when I was a toddler. I still recall it. I was headed toward the basement steps and was panicked because I didn't know how to steer. My mom is still amazed that it never crossed my mind to stop.
I've learned the most important thing about a trike ride is how many quality dandelions can you pick. Our grassy areas are beautifully maintained. The dandelions are few and far between. Lilly will be riding along on her trike curls bouncing along and suddenly slams to a stop. She has spotted a cluster of dandelions. Lilly squats down and studies the four or five flowers. She is not greedy, she will only pick one flower from each little set of flowers. I ONCE tried to help her and pick and additional flower and Lilly screamed at me, "No! Not that one! That's not THE ONE!
Mind you Gramma's walking limit is less than two blocks, but we pack a lot of nature in those two blocks.
Our new favorite movie to watch every day, thanks to neighbor Chris, is The Water Horse.
I love watching it everyday - it's that good people. Now go buy it!!
The Water Horse is also Lilly's favorite new hairstyle.
I would love to throw something into her hair, to help keep it out of her eyes, every day.
Lilly would prefer her hair never be combed again.
But with her love of the water horse, she wanted horns. I turned it into a hair style for her. Positioning small pig tails on the front top of her head. Lilly's natural curls complied perfectly and she had her 'horns'. Lilly requests the water horse look often.

Lilly and I went shopping for her patio garden. I told her she was going to help me pick out flowers. It took about 15 minutes of me telling her to "stop that" before I realized what she heard was we were going to pick flowers.

I have a bazillion more Lilly stories and quotes. Every moment of every day - she is amazing.

The infection: Just to reiterate from the previous post like a month ago....It started on my left shoulder/chest wall with what I thought was a boil, and then a cyst, and one weekend, it got way out of control. I was running fevers and the red of the infection had spread into my shoulder to my neck and down into breast tissue. With Lilly in tow I went as soon as the clinic opened on a Monday morning fully expecting I was going to lanced and that was the doc's decision.
When they laid me down on the exam table I used my jacket over the foot pad to build Lilly a tent. She was so busy playing peek-a-boo with the nurse she had no idea Gramma was under the knife.

There were two surprises in store for us.

There was zero drainage - nothing wanted come out. I did have some really good bleeding.
When the decision was made to remove a small mass. It couldn't be done. It was too deep and they didn't want be too invasive until the infection was cleared up some.

So I was put on a kick ass antibiotic and told to return in two weeks.
In two weeks time the infection was cleared and the original incision healed. time to reopen.
This time I left Great Grandma home with Lilly.
I was opened up again and a biopsy was taken. This little procedure qualified me for two internal stitches and six outer stitches, and an appointment to get them removed in ten days.
Exactly one week later I am back - with infected stitches. The decision was made to to take my stitches out early - Lilly got to watch. (She loved it!)
This time a culture was taken to identify the infection.
I was put on two oral antibiotics and one topical antibiotic.
The biopsy showed that all of this started with an infected hair follicle.
The culture showed I have MRSA.
I have had two more skin eruptions this week and I am out of antibiotics. I called my doc and I get to stay on antibiotics.
It is possible I was infected by Lilly with her outbreak. It was just laying low for awhile and/or I was was ignoring some serious symptoms and only my OCD qualities kept me going.

As far as flares, I have come to accept that I need a walker and a scooter if I am to have any life at all. I seem to lose a little bit with each flare.
I have also learned that our giant sucking (Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois) health insurance will not qualify you for a scooter if you can walk at all using a walker. So I must choose the one that will give me the most life back. The scooter, and then hope I will be qualified to have one.
A walker may help me in the parking lot, but it will not get me through the mall. Or through the zoo, a museum, the walking tour of Living History Farms (something I love dearly), or just trying to go on a nature walk with my granddaughter.
I would like to have a walker and even "test drove" one I loved. But at over $150, it will have to wait a time. Just co-pays the past couple of months are hitting harder let alone all the new drugs.
I did splurge a bit on myself while at the medical supply and purchased a new cane. It's a beautiful hot pink!

After further testing, I don't have diabetes.

Rand and I really splurged with our government rebate. We both had eye exams. Rand had a mild prescription change. Mine was a more of a change. He opted for new lenses for his beloved frames. I got new glasses and for the first time, sunglasses. I can now read while sunning at the pool this summer!

And just for Kara and Dianna - I'm sorry I couldn't be there for your special days, but you will be receiving a little something special as soon as I can get out!

So, now that I'm awake

2008-04-29T05:46:00.002-05:00

April has been a rough month. Whether my discomfort can be placed on the weather or not...is anybody 's guess. My pain has increased. My sleep pattern is sleep until the pain wakes you up and then sleep some more.

I finally got re-enrolled at the Wellness Center last week. My enrollment is for the pool only. The Wellness Pool is kept at 92 - 94 degrees.
I'm quite sure this will be the temperature of Heaven. As you enter, you can just feel the pain melt away. Their exercise programs are mostly geared for senior citizens and I fit right in.
I tried out a few classes and have settled on Arthritis I - pretty much the easiest one there is. I have a long way to go.
Really shows how hard this last setback has been. A decade ago I was teaching water aerobics - at all levels - including high intensity. Now I'm trying to keep up with severely arthritic senior citizens.

Miss Lilly is doing Camp Grandma while Mommy gets through finals. We went to the Wellness pool together Sunday.
Yesterday, I went first thing to the clinic. I have what I though was a boil on my left collarbone area. It was showing signs of infection, I have been running low-grade fevers, and it was really hurting! I decided this thing needed lanced!
I just did a walk-in to see my favorite PA. I built Lilly a fort with hospital gowns - she was happy. They numbed me up a bit - I was happy. My PA cut into the cyst and nothing happened - no drainage. Now she wasn't happy.
Whatever this cyst is it is deeply embedded into my tissue, is infecting the tissue around it and the PA could not go any deeper. She hooked me up with some strong antibiotics and said to stay out of the pool. Now I'm not happy.
This intrusion now has my shoulder red and angry. Lilly and I came home and played Pajama and Movie Day. We were both happier!
I also have an appointment in two weeks to get this thing really removed. Time to go change the band aid - joy.

Camper and the box

2008-04-03T16:40:00.003-05:00

Our cat Camper wanted outside on a very nice day not too long ago.
I snapped her outside rope to her halter and connected the outside rope to a wooden box we use as a side table outside.

I had just stepped inside when all hell broke loose!
Almost instantly, Camper spotted a squirrel on the ground only a few feet away. She took off in a hard run in the direction of the squirrel, which knocked the wooden box over.
This made a loud BANG! which scared Camper and she ran even harder from the loud noise, squirrel was instantly forgotten.
Camper was now running so hard she was dragging the box. This made a vary loud racket as well. When Camper turned to check out that noise she saw the box following her.
She panicked and took off across the grass with everything she had, and the box continued to follow!
Rand was also in pursuit at this time and he was just adding to Camper's panic!
Camper finally rounded a corner and stopped. To her delight nobody followed. Rand gently eased around the corner and was able to capture her. He unhooked from her pursuer and brought her back inside.
The only noise left was the bark of a very angry squirrel who continued to bark for several minutes following all this.

One very embarrassed cat
who won't go outside now.

April 3, 2008

2008-04-03T16:34:00.002-05:00

Today is our 28th Anniversary.
Yeah, it was bad weather on our wedding day too.

It is really starting to flood now.
We were surrounded by tornados on our 1st anniversary.

I think this rain is starting to look "thick".

Taken around 2:ooPM

April 3, 2008

2008-04-03T16:32:00.001-05:00

The rain has turned to snow.

Look at the size of these flakes!

Taken at 3:30PM

Even my muscles are crying!

2008-04-02T23:14:00.002-05:00

It all started when I got grossed out by the kitchen floor this morning.
So I swept it.
Than I dug out my Shark steam cleaner and floor attachments and "mopped" it.
Super clean floor and no chemicals!

My original model doesn't seem to be available anymore, if something happened and I had to replace it I would get this one. I have all the attachments and can clean any surface. It has a larger than most tank so you can clean longer! I steamed cleaned the kitchen sink and garbage disposal after I was done with the floor. I have owned this steamer for years and love it!

Then I moved several pieces of furniture and rearranged the living room, Lilly's room, and dining area.

Rand helped me rehang pictures when he got home. By then grasping a hammer or walking anywhere with it - wasn't an option.

I do use leverage and for the largest piece "Moving Men" sliders. On smaller things I work a rag rug underneath and then pull on the rug. Most things will slide pretty easy on the rug.
Rand and most of his relatives, don't understand why I move things at all.
"Put it where you want it and leave it alone." Their sofas still sit where they put them 20-30 years ago.
Rand used to really hate it when I rearranged when we were first married. Me moving a piece of furniture was always a guarantee that he would protest. Rand trying to point out that his mother doesn't rearrange furniture is what made it a guaranteed fight.
I finally gave him an option. I pointed out that I NEED change. It is in my genetic make up. I can't help it. I told him that I can change the furniture around from time to time or I could change men from time to time. He has never complained about me moving furniture around again and has even become quite helpful!

I come from a clan of folk who welcome change and question why things are the way they are. We are always looking for a new way.
Our family tree can be traced back to the chipping out of the original round wheel. The others, dragging their stuff around on their rocks, just made fun of us. "Waste of good hunting time!" they said.

You can do something good the first time.
You can only do something better the second time.

Dad was back at the doctors. After a short scare - he didn't have a blood clot in his lung - he is home recuperating again. He does still have pneumonia. He has had a few more small cardiac scares which his nitro tablet has helped.
Rob and Amanda are having much fun throwing the word fiancee around.
Lilly and her mommy will be paying this Gramma a visit this coming weekend.
Willie is soon starting at a local Landscapers.

Easter 2008

2008-04-01T11:41:00.002-05:00

All dolled up!

Check out that ballerina toe!

Easter 2008

2008-04-01T11:36:00.000-05:00

Lilly was finding eggs, but hadn't found her basket!

2008-04-01T11:30:00.000-05:00

Lilly in Pippi Longstocking mode
Dressed as Pippi while watching Pippi.

2008-04-01T11:13:00.000-05:00

Lilly hanging with Gramma

2008-04-01T11:09:00.001-05:00

Caitlyn Veronica Gookin

visiting Gramma Pam

Mommy goes shopping

2008-04-01T03:19:00.000-05:00

Lilly the acrobat

2008-04-01T03:10:00.001-05:00

Lilly has a keen sense of balance

It's her dismounts we need to work on!

waiting

2008-04-01T03:00:00.000-05:00

The fairy princess waits for news

And she waits

All is well

Supper is ready!

Back and White and Simple

2008-04-01T01:42:00.010-05:00

I got this in an email (Thanks Jack!) and had to share it.
It was especially poignant to me, having just had a birthday week and all!

Those were the days my friends
We thought they never end
We'd sing and dance
forever and a day......

Black and White

(Under the age of 40? You won't understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,

Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.

Pull a chair up to the TV set,

'Good Night, David.

Good Night, Chet.'

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs, and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in was paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e. coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have
conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA

We all took gym, not PE...and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in the gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries, but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option...even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play station, Nintendo, X-box, or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah...and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a treat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run a muck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't eve notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

Love to all of us who shared this era, and to all who didn't...sorry for what you missed...sorry for what you missed. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Pass this to someone and remember that life's most simple pleasures are very often the best.

the Gathering

2008-03-31T05:48:00.000-05:00

An Announcement

2008-03-24T16:04:00.005-05:00

We are pleased to announce
the engagement of
our son Rob & his beloved Amanda.

Rob proposed on Easter morning
using an Easter basket
full of goodies!
He did get down on one knee (awe!).

To Quote:

"I love you more than Gummi Bears!"
*This was heard at the Easter dinner and
may or may not have been during the actual proposal.*
A date is yet to be decided.

When it rains, it pours......

2008-03-19T00:39:00.004-05:00

Saturday
We spent Saturday moving Sandra out of the halfway house and into her new home!. It is such a big deal and we are so proud if her for making it through treatment to this stage!
Yeah, I am feeling the move big time!
And luckily, I have nothing to do Sunday but rest!
I call the folks around 10pm. It is a bit late to be calling them, but I had news of Sandra and Lilly's adorable new home.
The folks are already in bed. Dad sounds so odd when he answers I immediately say something to Rand about it. Talking to Mom, Dad is chilled so bad he is shivering. Not running a fever though. I'm very worried about him.

Sunday
It's about 3am or so and Dad attempted to get up. He falls about half out of bed. Mom tries to help him, but Dad only ends up on the floor. She calls little brother (and nurse) Jeff who only lives a few blocks away. Jeff gets Dad in bed. Dad has no limb function and is incoherent. They call 911.

Two ambulances, two firetrucks, and one sheriff later....Dad's blood pressure is approximately 70/40, he is still incoherent, and running a fever of 102.5. They call Life Flight. Unfortunatly they are unable to land in this small town's ball field due to the mud. Our snow is finally melting.
An ambulance races Dad to a hospital. Jeff follows behind with Mom. He never is able to catch up with the ambulance. I have been Jeff's passenger when I have been the emergency and I know how he drives. I find it unreal that he never caught up. That ambulance was booking.

By 6am I finally hear my phone beeping missed call. Mom doesn't call in the middle of the night unless it is an emergency. I call Mom as fast as I can. Dad has had several tests, including a Cat Scan of his head. Chest x-rays show that he has pneumonia. He is regaining function back in his limbs, but is still very incoherent. His blood pressure is up a little, but still very low. They will be admitting him.
I am unable to walk at this time. The move has hit. My gut is telling me I need to wait until Dad is at least put into a room before I push my body to anymore limits. There is nothing I can do. Mom has Jeff and now my other brother Jeff and two nieces with her as well. The ER is very busy and they do not need "guests".
8am and the hospital is filled to capacity. As soon as they can they will move him out of ER.
10am and no room is available yet. Dad is a bit more focused, but his short term memory is still shot.
11:30 am Mom calls. She says there has been an incident involving Dad. I'm sorta praying hard here that he hasn't died.
It seems he was resting more comfortably, so our family went to the waiting area to give him some peace and quiet. At some Dad was awake when a nurse came in and asked if he was hungry. They left him sitting on the edge of his bed alone with his tray. Dad promptly blacks out and lands on his head on the floor. Luckily, he hit his tray on the way down and that noise alerted staff. Otherwise Mom night have found him that way first. She found staff still doctoring his new injuries as it was. He pretty well got scalped a bit and bummed up his left knee and shin.

He earned himself Cat Scan #2 in the same morning.

I, of course, am done waiting. Rand and I head to the hospital instantly upon hearing of dad's injury. BTW it is noon and still Dad is not moved to a room.
Dad's head is hurting so much he doesn't even know his knee is injured.
The most embarrassing part of this for Dad - is when I point out that when his head and knees are on the floor, his ass is in the air and all he is wearing is a hospital gown. And that is how they found him.
All Dad can remember is seeing a lot of feet and people yelling at him to stay down. In his confusion he decides to fight that advice. He took two of them up with him.
Dad's short term memory remains lost while we were there. He has a few more episodes where his blood pressure drops quite low and he suddenly becomes more unresponsive.
2pm Dad should be moved to a room very quickly now.
2:30 Mom finally loses it in the hallway and takes it out on the staff.
Understandable, but I jump in to rescue them when she begins yelling to people being rushed in off the ambulances that they shouldn't come to this hospital. I calm her down and let her know that all ERs suck. Not just this one.
4pm Dad is settled into his room. It was somewhere about here we learn his kidneys are not functioning well.
Almost 12 hours from his ER arrival to a room. Injured in the ER to boot. Health care here is a joke and we're not laughing.
The exhausting is hitting everyone and Dad needs his rest - we all head home.
Sandra and Lilly arrive here. Sandra is very worried about here grandfather.

Monday
Sandra spends the day with her grandpa. I stay with Lilly. Lilly's week long fever seems to have finally broke. By evening Sandra is really trying to hack up a lung.
Dad seems better that morning.
By afternoon is blood pressure is falling rapidly and he is complaining of chest pains. So they add a few more tests to his ever growing list.
I convince Sandra to spend the night for her health's sake. Lilly and I took an ill timed evening nap. In our defense - we really needed it.
I also suggested Lilly stay here. Sandra has been struggling to get caught up with her studies. She missed quite a bit with Lilly's battle with MRSA. Now with her having this chest crap and my dad being sick. Let Lilly stay here. She can rest and get caught up on her studies. If something happens and she is needed here - Lilly is already here.

Tuesday
Sandra was up early and headed back for school.
Miss Lillian and I stayed up until 2am watching videos. We end with Annie. We sleep in late. Eat, shower and dress. Lilly is in a great mood and temperature free since late Sunday, so we head to the hospital.
Lilly knows that Great Grandpa fell and saw the photos I took. Lilly does take dance and tumbling. I explained to her that Great Grandpa was trying to do a "tuck and roll" (somersault) and missed. Lilly said he should have used a mat. Lilly was so concerned over Great Grandpa I figured it would do them both some good to have a visit.
And it did.
Dad was headed down to another long test so we head home.

So far the educated guess is that Dad had a TIA Sunday and a heart episode on Monday.
More to come......

This Bear Bites!

My Bad

keep kicking while they're down

You're a mean one.....Granny Grinch! Language Alert!

I *Heart* You Not

I *Heart* You

It's all Suzy

A Summer Missed

I'm alive

So, now that I'm awake

Camper and the box

April 3, 2008

April 3, 2008

Even my muscles are crying!

Easter 2008

Easter 2008

Mommy goes shopping

Lilly the acrobat

waiting

Back and White and Simple

the Gathering

An Announcement

When it rains, it pours......

I Heart You Not

I Heart You