What The F*CK?!

Just Another Meme

2007-12-02T06:42:00.000+05:30

Listening to: Rule the World, Take That; Because of You, Ne-Yo; How Do I Say?, Usher; Supernatural, Wild Orchid; One Night, The Corrs; Dirty Diana, Michael Jackson; King of Sorrow, Sade; 咖啡 Ka Fei, Jacky Cheung Hok Yau 張學友; Just One Breath, Dévics; It's Too Late, Genai; Nobody Knows, Tony Rich Project; Jet Lag, Joss Stone; Isabella, Search; 紅豆 (红豆) Hong Dou, Faye Wong 王菲; When I Need You, Celine Dion; 情誡 Cheng Kai, Faye Wong 王菲; Heaven Knows, Melinda Doolittle; Baby-baby-baby, TLC; Island in the Sun, Weezer; Love for Sale, Simply Red

For some reason, the miss with the misplaced sushi in her fruit basket decided that it would be great fun to tag a person who hasn't blogged in little under a year with a meme.

:p

__________________________________________________

The Rules

Link to your tagger and post these rules.
List eight random facts about yourself.
Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

1. I'm finally getting baptised in the Roman Catholic Church this coming Easter.
If you've known me since Secondary School, you will also have known that I've been working towards this for a very, very, very long time; and through the Grace of the Lord above, this Easter I will receive my First Communion!

2. I think I'm addicted to Facebook.

Let me demonstrate (it would help if you have some psychology / psychiatry background; or you could just read about the CAGE Questionnaire for alcohol abuse):

Have you ever felt you needed to Cut down on your time on Facebook?Hmm... considering that I could be reading up on electrocardiogrammes at night or completing my ridiculous procedure logbook... ya, I think I could spend less time on that confounded social networking webpage...
Have people Annoyed you by criticising the time you've spent on Facebook? No... but I do get shy when people comment about it on my Wall...
Have you ever felt Guilty about spending time on Facebook? Yes! All the time! Medical students aren't supposed to do anything other than study and spend time in the hospital wards, you know...
Have you ever felt you needed to check your Facebook account first thing in the morning (Eye-opener) to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover? Yes! Yes! Yes! Just before I go to class - I brush my TV looking at my reflection in my glossy monitor screen!

So, what do you think? Do I have a problem? :-D

3. I'm REALLY not a confrontational person by nature.
I know, there was a time, not so long ago (and the Primary and High School people will agree), that I was the last person you'd want to piss off - the repercussions were close to the unthinkable. When they wrote that line about Hell (having) no fury like a woman scorn, they were obviously expecting my coming into being.
But I guess in preparation for my Baptism, I've been attending Mass and my Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults (RCIA) classes rather regularly, as well as reading and reflecting on my Bible very regularly. And I sincerely and honestly feel, that the moment you start reading God's Word, you start your journey on the path of change. By no means am I perfect, but I am working towards it.
I'm learning to forgive.
I'm learning not to judge, but to understand the circumstances that surround each person's actions. I'm learning not to cast the first stone.
More importantly, I'm learning to walk away more often from fights these days. It's enough to have just one fool in a fight. And so much bloodshed could have been avoided in the world if people would just learn how to walk away. I mean, no where in the New Testament were the Israelites encouraged to rise against the Roman Empire, were they?

4. I love instant noodles.
I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every single day, if not for the fact that I'm quite afraid of waking up bald one day; or even worse, ending up on a surgeon's operating table to relieve the acute intestinal obstruction brought about by all the wax from the noodles accumulated in my gastrointestinal tract. It may be an urban legend, but considering that I actually know what can go wrong in our country's operating theatres, I'll give it a pass.
But I honestly believe that instant noodles are Asia's best contribution to mankind.

5. I want Barack Obama to be the next President of the United States.

Never believe that just because you're not American, you don't have to be bothered about the country's leadership. You don't have the right to vote, yes, but it doesn't mean that you can't go around influencing all your friends who can. :)
Because what the self-proclaimed superpower does, is everybody's concern.
Look what happened during this administration!

6. My favourite perfume is still Obsession by Calvin Klein.
The scent has got to be at least a decade old, but I still use it, and I still restock when I run out of it.
Anyone can pull off flowers, and even more people can pull off oranges and lemons;
but very few people can pull off a scent as musky and heady as this, and not knock out an entire room in the process.

7. I'm still a cat lover, although I own a dog.
In fact, one of the reasons why I love Vico so much is because she's an atypical dog.
She doesn't need to spend every waking moment beside you, wagging her tail, tripping all over your footsteps; though she does get a tad bored when I leave her at home for extended periods of time, and she takes it out on my garden.
She gives me my space, and I give her hers.
I could never, and still can't understand the constant need for attention that most other dogs require.

8. I want to marry the man that I'm with right now.
Though we may not have the most exciting of relationships, we're pretty boring together, watching television, taking long walks in shopping malls, stuff like that;
but we have one goal and one focus in mind.
God.
And with that common focus, everything else we have will fall into place.

__________________________________________________

I'm done.

And I'm tagging:
Ajua
April
The Brat
Jerry
Pedro
Sandee
Shiau Lee
Vincent the Great

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

Goong 궁

2007-03-25T17:03:00.000+05:30

From the soundtrack to Goong 궁: "앵무새", 하울 Howl; "Perhaps Love ♡ (사랑인가요)", 하울 Howl & J; "내가 선택한 길이야!"; "두번째 달", 2nd Moon; "당신은…나는 바보입니다 (Acoustic)", Stay; "궁 (Piano)"; "꽃잎이 내린다"; "Crystal Flower"; "궁"; "A Dancing Teddy"; "닿지 못한 마음"

I DID IT!
I FINALLY DID IT!

I finished ALL 24 episodes of Goong 궁 a.k.a. Princess Hours in ONE sitting!
(@.@")

I just HAD to do it!
It was getting unhealthy!
I started to refuse all invitations that would keep me away from a television at 2030 hrs!

It's still playing weekdays at 2030 hrs on 8tv!

I don't normally watch Korean dramas, though.
My first dip into the pool was with unnecessarily melodramatic 겨울연가 Winter Sonata and cruelly tragic 가을동화 Autumn in My Heart.
Convinced that all Korean scripwriters were a bunch of sadists and that the South Korean actresses all suffer from incurable chronic cases of epiphora, I swore off all of them.

And even though both the matriachs in my family were sucked into the Korean wave, I held my ground unwaveringly.
At last count my Mother and grandmother own at least five copies of 대장금 Jewel in the Palace - a series which I still refuse to watch despite my Mother's shameless pimping of the show - between them!

But exceptions had to be made for Goong 궁:
Daphne and I were bored silly in the house during our 2 week long study break;
and the timing was such that we could schedule our dinner (and later, our lives) around the tv!

What began as a curious interest slowly transformed into a monstruous obsession.
Everyday, punctually, at 2030 hrs, we (or Daphne at least - I'd stroll into the living room at 2100, forcing her to recount the previous 1/2 hour during the advertisements) would find ourselves planted solid in front of the idiot box, worshipping every flickering moment of the show.

We followed faithfully, the transformation of 신채경 Shin Chae Kyeong into an annoyingly uncouth troublemaker, into a semi-graceful princess, pathetically love-sick for her ice-cold prince, 이신 Lee Shin.
We boo-ed the glassy ballerina, 민효린 Min Hyo Rin, as she plotted and schemed to win Shin back into her devious heart.
And we drooled over 김정훈 Kim Jeong Hoon, who plays the outcasted prince 이율 Lee Yool, and cheered him on in his (initial - before he turned into a whiny crying brat) efforts to snatch Chae Kyeong from Shin.
(Although, from episode 15 onwards, I started paying more attention to the very hot model that plays Shin, 주지훈 Joo Ji Hoon. *drool*)

Now, excuse me if I wipe the saliva off Zeta...

...see what I mean?

Rule of Twelve

2007-03-20T06:16:00.000+05:30

It takes 12 hours from the time of death for full rigor mortis to set it.
Coincidentally, in Buddhism, it takes 12 hours for the human soul to leave the body completely.

My Grandmother passed away last Thursday,
God rest her soul.

Why I FINALLY paid RM 459 for THE pair of jeans

2007-03-10T22:45:00.000+05:30

Humming to: "P.D.A. (We Just Don't Care)", John Legend; "Where Did My Baby Go", John Legend; "Ordinary People", John Legend; "Used to Love U", John Legend; "I've Been Waiting on You", Miri Ben-Ari feat. Consequence & John Legend; "Another Again", John Legend; "She Don't Have to Know", John Legend; "Stay With You", John Legend; "I Can Change", John Legend feat. Snoop Dogg; "So High", John Legend
I worship the musical genius that is John Legend.
Not since Maxwell has the genre of R&B heard music that is as smooth and mellow as his.
(The Comrade may argue by bringing up Usher - but we all know how I feel about him now, don't we?)

If I were to have to name just one grouse (among twenty others that I can name at the drop of a hat) about the retail industry in Malaysia, it would be this:

Shop assistants are quick to dismiss customers that are not decked to the nines as poor people;
and therefore, not worthy of their attention.

And as my idea of retail therapy involves throwing on a Tare Panda baby-T; a pair of yoga pants; and RM 3.99 Japanese slippers; while carrying my wallet, handphone and car keys in an unglamorous McDonald's / KFC plastic bag; I am a frequent sufferer of this grave malady inflicting our shop assistants nationwide.

Take for example, when I was contemplating on whether an RM 459 pair of Levi's Lady Style Jeans were worth getting my head unceremoniously snapped off by my mother.

I'd been eyeing at the jeans for the past six months already, ever since I'd tried them on in the Levi's Flagship Store in Orchard Road:
the perfect shade of blue;
capable of making my typically Chinese non-existant arse look like Madhuri Dixit's (ok, maybe a lil' exaggeration there);
and crystallised with Swarovski, damn it!

If only it didn't cost RM 459. :(

And when they finally reached Malaysian shores (a good four months later), I found myself trying them on in the Dataran Pahlawan and Mahkota Parade outlets every week or so.
Most of these visits were impromptu trips to the mall: usually after an exam (and considering that we sat for six of them in the course of that two weeks...);
so as usual, I wasn't dressed to kill.

In Mahkota Parade, the shop assistants would stop mid-chatter, size me up, figure that I couldn't possibly afford any of the clothes on sale, and huddle back over the counter to resume their gossip extravaganza.
I'd be left perusing the denim wares on my own;
and when I walked over to the counter to ask for my size, the shop assistants would delegate the task among one another, finally deciding on one scapegoat, before half-heartedly trudging over to do the duty. There was even one occasion where I had to search for my size on my own.
Needless to say, when I finally left the shop empty handed, they weren't the least bit happy - and they made no attempt to hide their disappointment: you know that glare shop assistants give you when you don't buy anything from their shop?
Shame... shame they have brought to the House of Levi's.

On the other hand, in Dataran Pahlawan right across the street, the treatment I received was worlds apart.
Irregardless of how I appeared that day, I was waited upon and treated like a customer the moment I entered those doors.
I was given different options of jeans to try on: different styles, different sizes, and different colours;
as well as comments on how each different pair of jeans complemented or accentuated different parts of my body waist below.
Even the store manager joined in the fun, giving me brief history lessons about Levis Strauss & Co. on each visit.
And for each time that I walked out empty handed, I was still ushered out with the warmest of smiles and faces.
I didn't care what was said behind my back; the whole idea of the service and retail industry is to put up a good front.

And when I finally got those pair of jeans two days before Chinese New Year, I purchased them from Dataran Pahlawan.

It makes me recall a scene from the movie Pretty Woman:
when Julia Roberts' character was handed a thick wad full of cold hard cash from Richard Gere to buy a nice dress,
only to be chased out from an upscale Beverly Hills boutique because they didn't think she was classy enough.

Sure, I'm not loaded.
I can't afford to shop from any brand that has models walking on a runway.

I don't buy items of clothing often; ever since I returned from Manipal, I can count the number of clothes I've bought on two hands.

But I'm not your typical bargain shopper either.
I won't wait until the Great Malaysian Sale begins to rumage through bins of apparel priced at 50% off.
Frankly, I couldn't be bothered; not because I'm a snob, but because they've run out of my size by then.

And also because I know what looks good on me / what makes me look good; and I won't hesitate to buy it if the price is reasonable.
I've been known to spend RM 145 on a pinstriped skirt that hugged the curves of my tush ever-so-suggestively;
or close to RM 400 for a richly embroidered maroon lehengga for my last Annual Night in Manipal.
The only thing that keeps me from finally forking out the cash or signing the bill, is that smug bubblegum-chewing salesgirl behind the counter that thinks I'm not good enough to buy / wear their clothes.

You can't have a rich Datin or tai tai walk into your shop and sweep everything off the shelves.
You depend on regular girls like me to make sure that clothes keep moving off your racks and not into your bargain bins.

Maggie's lobster is NOT your dinner!

2007-03-03T20:57:00.000+05:30

I bought a blue lobster on an impulse today.

I bought a blue lobster and a neon blue dwarf gaurami (as his tank mate) on an impulse today.

So say hello to Set

Ooo... lights... pretty...

and Amon-Ra.

I am NOT your dinner, damnit!
A ferocious eater with a voracious appetite.

In case you're wondering, I can't complete the family tree because:
my Sentra has been christened Osiris;
my modem is Anubis;
and I just helped name The Captain's imaginary Persian Isis.

On another note, I think Atlas is having an epileptic fit.
He experiences episodes where he goes rolling around the tank (like a dog when you ask him to roll over, but Atlas does it 50 times in succession), knocking into anything and anyone in his way.
And then he stops, swims around off balanced for a minute or so, and then goes about his normal self around the aquarium.
I've tried Googling for a possible cause, but I can't find anything.

Oh... American Idols for the girls is starting! I need to study for Monday's paper!

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

Something Fishy

2007-03-01T16:32:00.000+05:30

Humming to: Cosy in the Rocket, Psapp; My Immortal (Acoustic), Evanescence; Good Enough, Evanescence; Miles to Go (Before I Sleep), Celine Dion; Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of, U2; For the Love of You, Jordan Hill; Walkin' on the Sun, Smash Mouth; (Our Love) Don't Throw It All Away, Andy Gibb; Don't Cha, Pussycat Dolls; Jupiter, Jewel; WINGS, Utada Hikaru 宇多田ヒカル; Unforgettable, Nat King Cole; 一拍两散 Yat Pak Leung San, Joey Yung Cho Yee 容祖兒; A Love That Will Last, Reneé Olstead; Too Much, S.H.E.; Besame Mucho, Laura Fygi; Come on Closer, Jem; Androgyny; Garbage; 歡樂今宵 Fun Lok Kum Siew, Leo Ku Kui Kei 古巨基; Fly Away, Michael Jackson; The Way I Am, Ingrid Michaelson; If I Fell, The Beatles; Illegal; Shakira feat. Carlos Santana; Grease, Frankie Valli

I am bored;
so I will blog.
I will blog about my fish. :p

Tartarus

Named after the deepest of Ancient Greecian Hell, where the most sinister are condemned, this 30-gallon tank houses 10 goldfish and 1 Otocinclus sp. catfish.

This is Hades, the Black Moor of Tartarus.

When they first moved in, he was bullying everyone into order: chasing them away, nipping at their tails - I almost returned him to the shop.
He's much better now, though. Minds his own business.

Due to his budging eyes, he can't really see floating food pellets properly, and in the beginning, he used to go hungry because by the time he knew where to go to look for the food, it would be gobbled up by the Nefarious Gang of Five!
I solved the problem with sinking food pellets. :)

This is Demeter.

She's a Pearlscale goldie with very unique colouring:
one half of her body has a red-coloured head - very normal, no?;
but the other half... the other half is completely snow white. That, coupled with jet black eyes with the red fundal glow visible at certain angles, makes her a sight to behold. :)

I initially had a very feng shui set up in Tartarus: 8 gold goldies + 1 black goldie.
And then I saw Demeter. She looked so pretty, I just had to get her!

And here is Persephone.

An Oranda with a sub-goldfish level of intelligence.
She used to swim into the air pump to hide whenever I turned the lights on, getting herself stuck there. She's not afraid of the lights anymore.

Some of the members of the Nefarious Gang of Five.

There's really nothing nefarious about them - they're really lovable Fantails, actually. I just needed to keep up with the whole deepest depths of hell thingy.
When I stick my had in to scrub the house clean, they actuallt come up to my fingers and attempt to nibble on them. :p

Globus pallidus (R) and Globus hystericus (L)

Bubbly Pearlscale goldies.
Thanks to their disproportioned body build (balloon bodies with tiny fins), they look like they're wobbling more than swimming!

And the last (and newest) inhabitant of the tank: Cerberus!

An Otocinclus sp. catfish, he's a real scardy catfish!
He's supposed to be helping me eat up the algae in the tank, but he ends up hiding behind the air pump half the time!

I had a Chinese Algae Eater before this; but he enjoyed sucking my goldies' mucous coat more than the algae in the tank.
Globus hystericus lost some scales thanks to him!
He's now in Kwong Yan's koi pond, getting harassed by the bigger Plecos! Haha!

Mnemosyne

The experimental tank community tank.
It was initially set up to house 10 male guppies - only 2 are left. :p

It's currently over crowded with a school of cardinal, neon, albino, black tetras, and stupid harlequin rasboras; two male guppies that are at constant loggerheads with one another; two corys; one lonely glass catfish; one scardy-otocinclus-cat; four flourescent fish whose names I never found out; and two glass shrimp...

The sole survivors: Zeus (foreground) and Gaia (background)!
(For the record, Guppies are not very hardy fish - don't try cycling a tank with them first.)

Neon tetras & a cardinal tetra caught in between a school of harlequin rasboras.

Pregnant Neon Tetra? No?

An Albino Tetra in the foreground with a very lazy Atlas in the background.

Atlas, the albino Cory Catfish lazing around.

In the foreground is Minos, the Glass Catfish.
He's not that visible because he's transparent. *duh*
I made the mistake of only buying one - they are apparently school fish of 6 or more... *oops*
In the background is Hercules, another Cory Catfish.
He's the more hardworking of the two catfish - always scavenging around for food. Or maybe it's because he's always hungry. :p

One of four fish in Mnemosyne.
I never found out what they were called. :p
But they're very pretty under bright lights!

Louis, the Glass Shrimp.
There's another smaller one called Pierre, but I couldn't find him when I took the picture.
While Louis trots around the aquarium like he owns the place, Pierre's more fond of hiding among the plants.
I guess that's wise of him considering that these shrimps are actually sold as food for bigger fish!
(I thought they looked pretty, so I want to see if I can keep them as pets.)

That's all, I think.

I'm thinking of keeping a lobster and a crab as well... but I'll have to find place for them first...

It's back to the books!

Nargaret Alexandria Yoong

Have I no shame? Have You no shame? And have We All no shame?

2007-02-24T21:11:00.000+05:30

Humming to: "Like I Never Loved You At All" Take That; "Patience" Take That; "Beautiful World" Take That; "Wooden Boat" Take That; "Butterfly" Take That; "Shine" Take That
Now, would you believe that: the state of the music that's being made these days is such that I actually find Take That's latest album, Beautiful World, good!
Which is saying a lot considering that I never cared much for their music at the height of their fame!

KEPERCAYAAN KEPADA TUHAN (translated: BELIEF IN GOD).
That's the first of the five principles in my country's Rukun Negara.
I was seven-years-old when I first recited that Pledge (which I can still recite it to this day), and one of my first questions to the teachers in my Primary School was: Why do we need to believe in God?;
for which the reply was always: Because believing in God stops us from doing bad things.

And so, at the age of seven, I sincerely, vehemently, and honestly believed that if you believed in the Almighty, and if you believed in His divine Love, Justice, and Power, that you would be a good person, and that you would be free from sin.

But I was seven.
And at that age, I also believed that I would be happily married to my first crush by the age of twenty-three - and we all know how that turned out.

And so I grew up.
And I learnt that we all sin; that we're a lot of sinners, us humans.
That somewhere, hidden in the deeper recesses of that double helical strand in our nuclei, is a gene that codes for it - sandwiched in between the ones that code for hedonism, hypocrisy, laziness, and procrastination.

And it's not just the thieves, rapists, murderers, and terrorists that sin.
It's also the desperate student that cheats for a much needed pass in his paper;
the drama queen that will not stop complaining about how it's unfair that the priviledged reap from the labours of the under priviledged, without stopping to think that she belongs to the former as well;
the hypocrite that points a finger at those around him without realising that four are pointing right back at him;
the devoted boyfriend or husband that screws anything and everything in a skirt behind your back;
or the loyal friend that stabs you in the back when you least expected it.

We bribe, we cheat, we lie, and we manipulate others to get our way;
we hunger for more, craving what our neighbour has and forgetting that which has been blessed upon us;
we are selfish to the core;
what once belonged to us will always belong to us, and we will stop at nothing, pulling out every devious trick in our hats, to keep it in our grasps;
when we do succeed, it is I who worked hard and I who deserved it;
but when we falter, it is God who is at fault for not answering our prayers.

And every night, (for those of us who do) we bow our heads in prayer to speak to the Lord.
Every week, we visit our Churches, our Mosques, our Temples, and our Gudwaras to be in communion with God;
to confess our sins and to beg for His forgiveness;
and to ask for His grace and His blessings for the week that is to come.
We put on a farce - show the world that we are a pious lot, and hopefully they won't see the soot that is as black as night enveloping within us.

Just because we ask Him to forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us, we seem to have taken it as our right to err, to hurt, and to destroy, because we know we've already secured our ticket to Heaven.

Most Catholics have it easy; every year for Lent, they go vegetarian - and pesco vegetarian for that matter!
And me? Considering I am a vegetarian the other 325-or-so days of the year, the start of the Lenten season usually has me cracking my head as to what I could possibly give up: something meaningful enough to be called a sacrifice, but whose absence will not have me tethering at an edge, wishfully counting the days to Easter Sunday!

新年快乐

2007-02-19T15:35:00.000+05:30

Salutations, everyone!

What The F*CK?! has undergone a major face lift and is back on roll!

*whee*

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

2006-09-21T22:23:00.000+05:30

Bye Bye

I cannot begin to understand why you did what you did.
And I cannot begin to understand how much you were going through before you did what you did.

But I think I can understand what was racing through your mind when you did what you thought you had to do.
I can still feel the fear, the hopelessness, and the desperation in mine.

We all have our reasons - however silly they may seem to everyone else.
We all have our justifications - however unreasonable others may find it to be.

Why didn't you tell somebody?
Why didn't you stop, pause, and think for a moment about all the people you were going to leave behind - about how it wasn't worth it, whatever the reason?
Why didn't somebody find you?

this thing i am feeling surreal if someone had called you
if somebody had told you that you weren't alone if i had succeeded would you still be around here with us today?

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

I know what the caged bird feels, alas!
When the sun is bright on the upland slopes;
When the wind stirs soft through the springing grass,
And the river flows like a stream of glass;
When the first bird sings and the first bud opes,
And the faint perfume from its chalice steals--
I know what the caged bird feels!

I know why the caged bird beats his wing
Till its blood is red on the cruel bars;
For he must fly back to his perch and cling
When he fain would be on the bough a-swing;
And a pain still throbs in the old, old scars
And they pulse again with a keener sting--
I know why he beats his wing!

I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,--
When he beats his bars and he would be free;
It is not a carol of joy or glee,
But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core,
But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings--
I know why the caged bird sings!
~ Sympathy, Paul Laurence Dunbar

2006-09-14T12:07:00.000+05:30

Zhang Ziyi Visual Fest!
for me only-lar

Humming to: "Wasted on You", Jordan Hill

I am on holiday.
I am bored.
:(

But fear not - the television + DVD player comes to the rescue!
*whee*

It's been a very fruitful day so far - three movies starring the very beautiful and very elegant Zhang Ziyi:

- 2046;

- Jasmine Flower ????; and

- Memoirs of a Geisha.

And if that is not enough, I intend to feast my eyes on The Banquet ?? as well.

Now, if only I could decide as to whether I want to watch it in Malaysia or in Singapore...

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

2006-09-12T15:28:00.000+05:30

I have been wronged...

Humming to: "Wasted on You", Jordan Hill

I have always thought of myself to be a very good judge of character - but I guess there are instances where one can go wrong.

I have always thought of myself to be a good judge of the friends I put my trust in - but I guess there are ocassions where I'm not really at my best.

I have always thought of myself to be a good judge of the people I fall in love with - but I guess where matters of the heart are concerned, we can never be too sure.

The question everyone has asked me since: Why did you do it?
I was just so tired.
It has been a year: a year of lies, a year of double lives, a year of getting hurt, a year of being taken advantage of, and a year of getting abused.
I was just so tired, and I saw only one way out.

You, of all people, should have understood why I did it
- but not only did you not understand,
not only did you run faster than your feet could provide you with flight,
but you made a mockery of it.

You who were supposed to be one of the closest and dearest to me,
you who were supposed to have understood every nuance of my character and my being,
you who were supposed to, who promised, who swore under everything you could possibly swear over, to stand beside me, through thick or through thin.

Frankly, I find this betrayal digusting,
frankly, I find your heartlessness disturbing.

You broke my spirits - but only for the last time.

You will probably never read this.
But I will.
And I will read it to remind myself everyday of the emotional prison I broke free from.

...but I will hold my peace; because really, that is the decent thing to do.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

2006-09-05T11:59:00.000+05:30

Of Ears, Eyes, Noses, and Throats... oh... and Medicine in the Community...
Halfway through the confounded Sessionals - 2 more papers left to fail *erm* I meant sit for!

Humming to: "Feel Good Inc.", Gorillaz; "Right Where You Are", Jesse McCartney; "At Night I Pray", Wild Orchid; "Poison", Bardot; "Breathless", Corinne Bailey Rae; "Me Against the Music", Britney Spears feat. Madonna; "Fool Again", Westlife; "Stars Are Blind", Paris Hilton; "Say You'll Be There", Spice Girls; "Night of a Thousand Songs", Jimmy Nail; "Words Get In the Way", Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine; "Tearin' Up My Heart", 'N Sync

I've been rather preoccupied with frivolous pop for the past week or so.
I think my age is catching up to me - I've reached that point in life where I'm reminiscing about the music back in my days (which wasn't that long ago, ok, I'm only 23) and balking over the pseudo-rap-pseudo-r&b-pseudo-dance that is infesting our air waves these days. (Think Ashanti... Think Rihanna... Think Black Eyed Peas - Fergie, I loved you so much more when you were Stacy Ann Ferguson! *ouch* *ouch* ouch* my ears!)
Which is rather ironic because back when bubble gum pop was in I never cared much for it anyway; my favourite radio station was, and still is (when I bother to tune in to the radio) Light & Easy.

Speaking of which, I've been rather hooked on Jesse McCartney's new single, "Right Where You Are".
But I must say, I find the description put up on the "About" section of his webpage is rather *erm* hilarious(?): his devoted fans, who scream for him in frenzied pitches reminiscent of the mania caused by another McCartney in The Beatles. *erm* See how-lar in a few years time. At the risk of sounding mean, but it's like how they tried comparing Britney Spears to Madonna...

Anyway, the lil' alarm in my head says it's 1530 hours and I still have yet to start studying for my Medicine Paper tomorrow.

So, toodles!

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

I wanted to tell you about Castor and Pollux today, but I guess it'll have to wait another day or so.
And this post didn't even end up being about my Sessionals! *yay* (I'd like all memory of this very very bad experience blocked out of my head, actually...)

2006-08-29T20:17:00.000+05:30

Tanah tumpahnya darahku
Today's post is part of a series of Merdeka Day dedications on my blog.
Considering my four-month-long hiatus, it almost did not materialise;
but thanks to the chidings of a sunshiney megalomaniacal friend of mine (who also brought you last year's BM Merdeka Project), I have taken the past 2 hours out of my studying (Sessional Exams are on Saturday!) to write this.

Humming to: "Enter Sandman", Metallica; "The End is the Beginning is the End"; Smashing Pumpkins; "1979", The Smashing Pumpkins; "Ilhamku", Man Bai; "Sing", The Carpenters; "Maneater", Nelly Furtado; "Crazy Girls", Bethany Joy Lenz; "Speed of Sound", Coldplay; "Your Body is a Wonderland", John Mayer; "The Prettiest Thing", Norah Jones

My closest girl friends (and best friends) from Secondary School are a Chinese, a Malay, and another Chinese.
When Ajua started wearing a tudung a couple of years ago, then, and only then, did the fact that she was a Malay strike me.

When I went to UNIMAS and joined the army, I was one of only five Chinese Junior cadets in a squad of 170+.
In a house of 10 girls, it was only predictable that I would be the only Chinese among them - but I never felt more welcome.
I'm a vegetarian, you see. And it is hard enough being a vegetarian in UNIMAS, it's even harder being one in the army.
But every time the girls cooked their fried rice and vegetables, they'd make sure that a portion was scooped out for me before they added the belacan, ikan bilis, or meat in.
Jerry had given me a lil' pig soft toy to accompany in Sarawak - my room mate, Farisa, didn't take offense, and found it rather cute in fact.
Every morning when they performed their Subuh prayers, they would take care as not to wake me up; I in turn made sure that I left an area on our floor clean for them to pray before I went to sleep.
Of course we had our differences - but those were part and parcel of 10 girls living in the same home, sharing 3 toilets among them.
I was nick named Ah Moi, but it was always as a term of endearment, rather than a derogatory label.

In Manipal (and here in Melaka), my best friends are a Chinese and a Punjabi.
On several ocassions, I'd like to wring Jagdeep's neck - but that really is because he's being a pain, as usual, and not for any racial reasons.
He's a great comfort during the times that I feel I would be better off married as a rich tai tai than a mentally-tormented medical student.
Our conversations are uninhibited - there is nothing that we cannot debate about; and more often than not, we are taken aback as to how similiar we are - we're very alike, and where we aren't, I'd like to think that we compliment one another very well - Dhanya always says that if we weren't from different races, she'd find out if we were seperated at birth.

When I needed a godmother for my RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) here in St. Peter's Church, a Portuguese family stepped in.

I once saw myself spending the rest of my life with an Indian.
I saw the white picket fences, the cloudless vanilla skies, the whole nine yards.
It's a pity that at any given time, there was always a significant body of water between us.

Coincidently, the three greatest loves of my life have not been Chinese.
And if it weren't for the people around us, constantly reminding us, I wouldn't have realised it, nor would I have found anything wrong with it.

Anyway, before I digress, the point of today's Happy Malaysia Story is that ONLY in Malaysia would any of the above be possible.
(OK-lar, maybe in Singapore too.)
That instead of drawing guns against each other, we are building personal relationships among and with one another of different races and religions.

And that truly, in my opinion, is the reason why we are celebrating 49 years of being a nation tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Malaysia.
And may we have many more to come.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong
Merdeka 2003
Merdeka 2004
Merdeka 2005 here and here

BRIEF UPDATE
I am currently trying to slog my way through my VI Semester Sessionals which start on Saturday.
I am also trying to come to terms with the fact that 6 months later, I don't feel any smarter or any better a doctor than I did back in Manipal.
Yay to me!

2006-08-29T18:48:00.000+05:30

2006-04-30T07:06:00.000+05:30

"What if, just this once, life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?"

Humming to: "Let Me Let Go", Faith Hill; "All Blues", John Coltrane feat. John Coltrane; "Summertime", Miles Davis; "Like a Star", Corinne Bailey Rae; "Put Your Records On", Corinne Bailey Rae; "Butterfly", Corinne Bailey Rae; "Alone Again (Naturally)", Gilbert O' Sullivan; "For Your Babies", Simply Red; "Stars", Simply Red; "Lately", Stevie Wonder; "I Wish You Love", Nat King Cole; "Quando, Quando, Quando", Michael Bublé feat. Nelly Furtado; "Santa Maria de la Mer", Mireille Mathieu; "Hopelessly Devoted to You", Olivia Newton-John

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."
~ from the episode Yesterday, "Grey's Anatomy" (Season 2)

*woo hoo*
I finished my End Postings on Friday and am therefore done with Surgery postings for this semester!

The End Postings weren't much to shout about: one case presentation; two Anatomy drawings; and 30-odd multiple choices, fill-in-the-blanks, etc.

I got a very co-operative and very jolly old lady with a boil for my case.
I don't think I failed that one; but could have gone better, though.

She had a rather complicated history - three different and unrelated complaints, multiple hospital transfers, an above-knee amputation and an eye anucleation for diabetes mellitus complications, and an infected operation (for the boil) wound - and I only had 45 minutes for history and examination!

And just when I thought that my End Posting couldn't f*ck up anymore, I lift the gauze covering her wound only to find blood oozing out of it torrentially.
And as I panic, thinking that I've removed her dressing prematurely and f*cked up her wound healing process, the houseman waltzes in to tell me, "Oh, jangan risau. Luka dia memang macam itu. Nanti panggil sister tukar dressing, ya?" (translation: "Oh, don't worry. That's normal for her wound. Just ask the nurse to change the dressing later.")
*gah*

*woo hoo*
I'm back in PJ for the (comparatively) looooong weekend!
(And no, I was a good little girl this time - I didn't miss the bus. ^_^)

I only wish that I could have the strength and courage to stop loving you. You're like an addiction that I keep feeding; an addiction that I'm dependant on psychologically - that I rely on to keep my day going; and like all addictions, it comes with its own withdrawal symptoms; like all addictions, it's unhealthy - a straight road right into hell. But I can't stop loving you. I've tried, but I just can't. And I don't know how long I'm going to go round and round before I wake up and smell the coffee that is reality - the reality that I would be undoubtedly, undeniably, unrefutedly better off loving you if only a little less.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
My eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know,
There's just no gettin' over you

I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see,
There's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him",
My heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end,
That's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
Hopelessly devoted to you

2006-04-16T08:33:00.000+05:30

Rejoice, for He is Risen!

Humming to: "Like a Star", Corinne Bailey Rae

Happy Easter, everybunny!

**********

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Oh.. I do love you,

You've got this look i can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is a fade,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Your love,

I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands

**********

Maggie came down for the weekend on Good Friday - with disastrous results.

#1.
She missed her 1830 bus home because:
a. she was late leaving the college;
b. she decided that with only half-an-hour left, she could grab a quick dinner;
c. the roads on Melaka were packed with cars like sardines in a tin can.

#2.
Considering that there were about three or four religious festivals going on that weekend and Saturday was a public holiday in Melaka as well, all the buses back to KL thereafter were also as packed as tin cans full of tuna.

And so, the Self-Proclaimed Supreme Leader, Rubbish, and Maggie got into her 13-year-old Proton Wira and drove all the way back.
(Rubbish did the driving, not Maggie.)

And what a holiday it has been.

Thanks to the seven Anatomical and Histological drawings of the:
- ~~cross-section of skin and subcutaneous tissue~~;
- salivary glands;
- thyroid;
- breast and its lymphatic drainage;
- abdomen;
- inguinal region;
- scrotum;
- venous system of the lower limbs;
that Maggie has yet to complete, this holiday has been really fun.
Ah yes, I started my VI Semester with the Motherload of postings, the Big Bang called Surgery.
It's really not that diffucult, and it's a lot of common sense and application of your Basic Sciences.
So, unless you're a lazy procrastinator (like moi) and you've basically spent your first two years in medical school sleeping through your classes of Anatomy, Physiology, Biochemistry, Pathology, Pharmacology, Microbiology, and Forensic Medicine, you shouldn't need to break a sweat. If not, you're basically very f*cked and you should start buckling up or digging your 6x6x6 feet hole in the cold, hard ground.

Toodles.

My Anatomy Atlas (for which I only swear by Netter's) calls.

Bah!
Humbug!

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

2006-03-25T18:04:00.000+05:30

Stranded in Campus - Without a Car :(
Reporting to you live from a cyber cafe across the confoundingly busy main road; I refuse to apply for the Internet now and waste the earlier 20+ days of the month - so till then, I will be very disjointed from the world around me.

Konbanwa, minasan.

I was finally forced to drag my lazy arse all the way down to Melaka to start my final two-and-a-half years of medical training;
I arrived on Thursday.

My hostel room will be lovely - once I'm done sorting out all the junk that I decided to haul over.
(My Mummy's Vios was filled to the brim - the only empty spaces that existed existed because we either had to sit on them or look through them to drive. o_O)

I'm conveniently located within a stone's throw from all the acedemic and survival essentials:
--> vegetarian food is easily available in the cafeteria downstairs and I have the option of ordering in when my taste buds get bored;
--> the morning buses to the hospital come (almost) up to my doorstep - I have the luxury of waking up only at 0700 hrs;
--> the lecture halls and the library (like I'm ever going to step foot in it!) are right in front of my hostel block.
(I'm also automatically a member of the College's spanking brand new Sports Complex - but that's not really necessary for academics or survival, is it?)

I am however, inconveniently located from the essentials of a healthy female social life - shopping malls for instant. :(

Anyway, I guess it's toodles for now - the boys behind me are unabashedly leering down my shoulder and spying on the contents displayed on my monitor.
Ruffians. *gah*

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

2006-03-12T21:51:00.000+05:30

Growing Pain

One of the disadvantages (and advantages) of leaving home (for a multitude of reasons: studying, working, entering a lifetime of suffering... I'll leave it up to you to figure out what the last one was) is leaving your siblings behind.

**********

If you're an eldest child: finally, you're no longer held responsible for the actions of your younger sibling(s); you're no longer the biscuit mould whose image all the other biscuits after you have to be made in.
If you're a youngest child: finally you can begin salsa-ing through life, instead of threading cautiously in the faint imprints of another's footsteps.
If you're a middle child: finally you're noticed.

Left to your own devices, the freedom is a welcomed, refreshing change - initially.

But slowly, the single-dome eats at you, and you long for the day where you can return home to the comradie that you shared with them;
and when that day arrives, you just can't wait to get right back out of the house.

**********

If your siblings were already grown and formed when you left them, your next meeting won't be packed with many surprises.
But, if you left them at a period where they were developing (physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually), your homecoming will be as dull as Dataran Merdeka on National Day.

**********

You've grown so much since I first left home.

You're a much bigger person than you once were.

Your feet are planted a lot more firmer on the ground, and you've finally found direction in life.

You've found so much peace in God, peace that I've never managed to find till today, and you've walked so far with Him too - and I am truly envious at you for that.

Though one might say that good institutions need good students to work with to achieve maximum potential, I think that statement is rubbish. Even Einstein was able to put something as complex as the theory of relativity in layman's term. My perspective is, if you really, truly understand a concept, explaining it to a person, with an adequate level of maturity, is not a difficult task.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

I got to say it and it's hard for me,
You got me cryin' like I thought I would never be.
Love is believin' but you let me down;
How can I love you when you ain't around ?
And I,

Get to the morning and you never call.
Love should be everything or not at all.
And it don't matter what ever you do;
I made a life out of lovin' you.

Only to find any dream that I follow is dying.
I'm cryin' in the rain.
I could be searchin' my world for a love everlasting,
Feeling no pain, when will we meet again?

Why do you have to be a heartbreaker ?
Is it a lesson that I never knew ?
Gotta get out of the spell that I'm under,
My love for you.

Why do you have to be a heartbreaker,
When I was bein' what you want me to be ?
Suddenly everything I ever wanted has passed me by,
This world may end, not you and I.

My love is stronger than the universe.
My soul is cryin' for you,
And that can not be reversed.
You made the rules and you could not see;
You made a life out of hurtin' me.

Out of my mind, I am held by the power of you love.
Tell me when do we try, or should we say goodbye ?

2006-03-12T09:37:00.000+05:30

Jesus, Take the Wheel

Humming to: "Jesus, Take the Wheel", Carrie Underwood

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Margaret Alexandria Yoong
this heart was never yours to take this heart was never yours to break

2006-03-09T14:41:00.000+05:30

I was fifty-f*cking-kilogrammes overweight...
...mail me for the details.
Just know that by the grace of the good Lord, I wasn't asked to pay for all 50 kg of it.
However, do know that this 50 kg of extra weight was AFTER I'd cargo-ed 400+ kg home... AND I had to leave Henry the Hippo behind! >.<

UPDATE #1: I will be very, very bored from now till my term starts on March 23rd. (Yes, it's only 2 weeks of holiday.)

UPDATE #2: I will however, be occupied from March 14 till March 19 as jet set off to a tiny island off the Mainland of China.

UPDATE #3: I just found out that The Comrade has returned. For those of us who still remember how good she once was, she can only get better.

...I had always known for a long time that the single most rewarding thing about doing what I do is seeing and experiencing young love. Love that is only awarded to youth; pure and innocent, free of sexual desire, impossible to explain, confidence boosting, honest to goodness, glow inducing love. The type of love in which joy overflows in multitudes. The kind of love that is legendary -- only happens once and only once, if you are so blessed. It's that kind of love that I see and feel through my residents. The beauty about my job is that they are willing to share this love with me; that and the eventual heartbreak. But through their lives, I get to understand exactly what love does to people and what I see lacking in myself.

My life now lacks poetry, which I have replaced with many questionable decisions. So today I can see that I am no longer young, and no longer in love.

UPDATE #4: HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, ANU-BABU!!!!!

UPDATE #5: Please vote for the other half of the Dynamic Duo.

She's as close to perfection as obssessively compulsively neurotic treasurers get.

UPDATE #6: I want a PINK Littman stethoscope. Any ideas?

Ever since I started the Great Indian Chapter of my Life, coming home for the holidays has always been a bittersweet experience for me.
It's probably because I know that whatever state I settle into here in Malaysia is never permanent - that in another month's time, I will be back in Manipal to resume my regular, normal life; the life that I have been accustomed to for the past five months.

I'm back again for the holidays; but this time, I have no state of normal-cy to set back to, no regularity to fall back onto;
because the next two-and-a-half years of my life are as blank as the unwritten pages of my new journal. Yes, I do keep an incriminating written record of my life; good tabloid fodder - I suggest you try to get your hands on it.

I know not about how my lifeless routine in Melaka is going to be like;
I know not about the (nefariously) colossal workload that is about to bury me;
I know not about the future status of my relationships in Manipal;
I know not about how I am going to make my way around the city Yayness! Maggie just changed her "P" [READ: Probational; READ: never drove a car before other than for the purpose of passing her driving test];
I know not about how I am going to find vegetarian (ah yes, Maggie is your favourite vegetarian, remember?) food within a reasonable distance from campus;
f*ck, I don't even know how big my hostel room is going to be - let alone what it's going to look like!

As you can see, I'm not a very big fan of dynamic states.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong
i miss you the way the curves of your body fit exquisitely into mine the way you'd collapse onto me, as we merge into a sweating, twisted, satisfied heap i only wish i'd savoured the moments more

2006-03-05T15:04:00.000+05:30

The Day Epsilon Decided to Die on Me

*boo hoo*

Woe is me: two days before I leave this country for good, and my trusty Acer TravelMate decides to die on me. o_O
(It's a conspiracy, I tell you...)

Its hard disc has decided to join all the others in the Big Hard Disc Graveyard in the sky - it'll probably make friends with the one that used to reside in Jags' Dell - resulting in:

a. No computer to blog or watch movies with for the rest of today and tomorrow - and I just bought "Family - Ties of Blood" (the reviews are disastrous - but I'm a sucker for Big B and violence) and "Black", and rented "Kill Bill Vol. 1" & "Kill Bill Vol. 2"!
By the way, anybody that's interested in watching either "Sarkar", "Family - Ties of Blood", "Black", "Sangam", "Devdas" (the version with the oh-so-very-handsome Shah Rukh Khan), "Rang De Basanti", or "Chameli" for the first or the umpteenth time anytime from March 8 till March 20, kindly get in touch with me. Don't worry - English subtitles available - I didn't pick up Hindi in my two-and-a-half years here. ^_^;

b. A wasted internet connection in my room = a wasted Rs. 500;

c. One quarter of my mp3 collection vanishing *poof* into the inaccessible and inescapable abyss of un-backed-up computer data *bongs head very hard on the keyboard* - and I'd just typed in all the lyrics and translations for all my Teresa Teng songs last night!

f*ck
f*ck
f*ck
f*ckity
f*ck
f*ck

*sigh*

Thank goodness I'm leaving the country on Wednesday.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong
living in her own parallel universe

2006-03-04T23:59:00.000+05:30

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ~~CHENG YEE~~ EVIL PAU!!!!!

(Delayed entry - the original post AND all the edited pictures vanished into thin air when Epsilon died on me. AND if that wasn't enough technological bad luck, as I was retyping the post in the Sify cybercafe in Premier Park, the generator decided to fail its premises and the whole building plunged into darkness - taking the entire post along with it... *grr*)

It's been awhile since I last used Adobe Photoshop; now I remember why I switched to ACDSee - it's less complicated. :p

~~Cheng Yee~~ ~~Short Tee~~ The Evil Pau celebrated her 23rd(hahaha... old liao) Birthday yesterday.
~~Cheng Yee~~ ~~Short Tee~~ The Evil Pau celebrated her FIRST (and last) birthday here in Manipal yesterday.
She's always been very smug about the fact that unlike the rest of us, she's been able to celebrate her last two birthdays in the comfort of Malaysian soil. Take that!

~~Cheng Yee's~~ The Evil Pau's Amul chocolate ice-cream cake.
It's sinfully delicious (the chocolate shavings all around it are sumptious!) - AND it's vegetarian too!
*ooo* Where were you during these past two-and-a-half years?!

After trudging under the hot Udupi sun to get her a bottle of champagne,
this is the thanks Kwong Yan gets...

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:
Gluttony personified.

~~Cheng Yee~~ The Evil Pau looking rather pleased with her Birthday Alcohol.
NOTE: ~~Cheng Yee~~ The Evil Pau purposedly opened the cork in such a way that it would ricochet off the air-conditioner unit above me and whack me hard on the vertex of my head. *ouch*

And here's the ~~Birthday Girl~~ Evil Pau chugging through her bottle of champagne.
It was actually empty BTW...

Chun Fung caught drinking through the champagne bottle - I like the effect.
Makes the act look so... wrong...

The boys, un-Elegantly Wasted, after downing down the champagne.
They really didn't have much to drink - Kwong Yan probably had a maximum of two glasses...

I actually rather like this picture... ^_^

Toodles!
I'm off for dinner with ~~Cheng Yee~~ the Evil Pau!

Margaret Alexandria Yoong
a small squeeze on the shoulder and everything fell apart and everything ended

2006-03-03T07:12:00.000+05:30

Textbooks - Check; Notebooks - Check; Clothes - Check; etc...

Humming to: "??????? mui tien ngoi nei to yat seh", Jacky Cheung Hok Yau ???; "?? lian xi", Andy Lau Tuck Wah ??? (???); "More Than This"; Charlie Hunter Quartet feat. Norah Jones; "Leaving on a Jet Plane"; Chantal Kreviazuk; "Can't Fight The Moonlight", Lee Ann Rimes; "????? zhui shao hai you ni", Sandy Lam Yik Lin ???; "Honey", Mariah Carey; "I Wish You Love", Lisa Ono; "Just the Way You Are", Billy Joel; "????? zai jian ying huo chong", Faye Wong ??; "Better Man", Robbie Williams; "Bad Girl", Madonna; "This Kiss", Faith Hill; "When You Really Love Someone", Alicia Keys; "Gentle on My Mind", Frank Sinatra; "??? ai xiang sui", Emil Zhou Hua Jian ???; "Adagio in C minor", Yanni; "Samba Para Bean", Coleman Hawkins; "Drops of Jupiter", Train; "Walk Away", Christina Aguilera; "???? gong zhuan zhi zhuan", Wang Lee Hom ???; "Can't Smile Without You", The Carpenters

Yes, darlings, I'm back in the Blog-o-sfera.

It was a particularly long hiatus.
My original intention was to blog down all the events taking place in my last six months here in Manipal for posterity - so that when I'm old and grey, and the only hints that I never always was this ancient are in the jerky images of the blurred out photographs of my mind, I will be able to savour what it was like to be young again.
But I was busy. Very busy. Naturally.

Yes, darlings, I have missed every single one of you - and it touches me that some of you have missed me too.
A special shout-out for Kuhan who has been bugging me periodically for updates on life in Manipal. I know that reliving your 1st & 2nd year in this town through my blog is really what you've been missing. :p
And truth be told, I do hope some of my Juniors start blogging as well - because I'm f*cking gonna miss this place and all the people that come along with it. :(

Goodbye, no use leading with our chins, this is where our story ends,
Never lovers ever friends.
Goodbye, let our hearts call it a day, but before you walk away,
I sincerely want to say.

I wish you bluebirds in the spring, to give your heart a song to
sing,
And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love.
And in July a lemonade to cool you in some leafy glade,
I wish you health, and more than wealth, I wish you love.

My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be,
So with my best, my very best, I set you free.
I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,
But, most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.

I can still execute my grand masterplan of recording down my antics and vices in the next few days, though.

I woke up this morning realising that Manipal is half empty by now: all the Junior Batches have already left (17th Batch left as early as a month ago), and three-quarters of the Senior-most Batch (13th Batch, my Batch) left Manipal for good last night - they're probably stretching out beside the bus, unloading their luggages from the luggage compartment on M.G. (Mahatma Ghandi) Road in Bangalore as I type this out right now.
So there won't be many bedheads to annoy at breakfast, friends to have lunch with, kaki hantus to yam cha with, and dear ones to enjoy dinner with.

The initial idea was for my Mummy to occupy that huge void for the next few days when she lands in Mangalore airport today - but in typical Indian fashion, her flight from New Dehli to Mumbai has been delayed by two hours, making her miss her connecting flight to Mangalore, stranding her in that city of fabulous shopping.
It doesn't seem like she'll be catching that flight to Mangalore anytime soon (or anytime today for that matter) - thanks to that one f*ck up in New Dehli, every single alternative airline is fully booked.

And so, I will be very free, and very bored, for today at least.
And to prevent the devil from making work for my idle hands, I think I'll busy them by tapping on my keyboard.

It's not that I didn't want to tell you what was the name of the song, it's that you wouldn't know the song even if I did - I know one language that you don't, remember?

??

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Lian Xi
Because I still cannot, for the love of paneer butter masala, get my blogspot blog to publish in Chinese!

Ru guo liu xia duo yi miao zhong
Ke yi jian shao ming tian xiang ni de tong
Wo hui yuan yi fang xia suo you
Jiao huan ren he yi si si ke neng de zhan you

Xing fu zhi shen yi bei sha lou
Yan zheng zheng kan zhe yi mu mu tian mi
Bu hui zai you yuan lai ping fan wu qi de yong you
Dao xian zai jing xiang shi wu zhu de she qiu

Wo yi kai shi lian xi Kai shi man man zhao ji
Zhao ji zhe shi jie mei you ni
Yi jing he yan lei shuo hao bu ku qi
Dan dao shu ji shi de ai gai zen me ji xu

Wo tian tian lian xi Tian tian dou hui shou xi
Zai mei you ni de cheng shi li
Shi zhe shan chu mei ge liang ren shi jie li
Na xie ceng jing gong tong yong you de yi qie mei hao he hui yi

Ai shi yi wan gong qing de sen lin
Mi le lu de que shi wo he ni
Bu shi shuo hao yi qi chuang chu qu
Zen neng sheng wo yi ren hui qu Hui qu

Practice
For all the bananas, moi included, and non-English speaking Earthlings out there.

If only one more second remained
It would lessen tomorrow's pain of missing you
I'd be willing to let go of everything
In exchange for the existance of any little bit of possibliity

Only a cup of dripping sand is left of happiness
Eyes wide open, watching each act of sweetness
I'll never have that original commonplace possession again
Until now, it seemed like an helpless extravagant demand

I've already begun to practice, begun to slowly worry
Worry that this world doesn't have you
I've already told my tears not to cry any longer
But how should a love that is ending continue?

I practice daily, becoming familiar daily
With this city that doesn't have you
Trying to delete everything in this "two person world"
All the beauty and memories we once mutually possessed

Love is a 10,000 hectare forest
But you and I have lost our way
Didn't we agree to force our way out together?
How can I be the only one left to return, to return?

(Lyrics from Ting Dong)

House #1 in Acharya Compound is empty and cold once again;
I can no longer dial 31485 to grab a hold of you for a long chat;
104, Bhavani Lodge is no longer occupied by you anymore;
And very soon, the walls of 494, Indira Block will be bare - just like how it once was in the beginning.

Everything here in Manipal looks like it's gone a full circle.

Have a look at the Big Dipper once more - you won't be able to see it back in Malaysia.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

when all the dust has settled and all the memories have begun stacking themselves in the attics of our mind will you still only remember the shitty things that have happened or will you remember that we once had something beautiful here in Manipal? something beautiful something fleeting something only barely tangible but something beautiful, nonetheless

2005-12-13T07:08:00.000+05:30

December 10, 2005 :: MMMC (Manipal) Annual Night 2005

Humming to: "Summertime", Oscar Peterson; "Don't Say You Love Me", M2M; "Life Uncommon", Jewel; "Can't Buy Me Love", The Beatles; "A Little Fall of Rain", Lea Salonga & Michael Ball; "Automatic", Utada Hikaru ??? ???; "?? Qing Shu", Jacky Cheung Hok Yau ???; "At Last", Celine Dion; "Those Sweet Words", Norah Jones; "So Danço Samba", Antonio Carlos Jobim

The event finally came and ended.
And thanks to it, Batch 13 has Monday and Tuesday off this week.
Monday (12/12) was a day off for the entire College - it's assumed tradition for us to get this day off; so much so that when the University Registrar did not make this announcement on stage that night, we all went ahead and took the day off anyway!
Tuesday (13/12 - today) is a day off for Batch 13 exclusively because we're the champions for the Cultural Competitions; and the champion gets a day of holiday of their choice. ^_^

But Maggie, the hopeless work-o-holic, is now feeling a lil' uneasy sitting around her bum all day...
...I just finished my Paediatrics End Postings and my next round of postings are a 1 1/2 week of introductory lectures on Surgery and Obstetrics and Gynaecology; and most of my extra-curricular activities revolved around Student Council or Annual Night anyway...
...and is therefore getting an early start to her Christmas shopping and card-writing!
*yayness*
--> Boys and girls, if you want Christmas cards from India for the last time, please mail me your snail mail addresses (and contact numbers) pronto. When Omicron died, he took all my contacts away with him.

Anyway, back to Annual Night...

This year's Annual Night was an outdoor event, thanks to the untimely renovation of Chaitya Hall.
What would posses a hotel to renovate its only banquet hall during the end of the year!

It being an outdoors event posed a big headache for moi:
For the first time in 2 years, I thought I'd be able to have enough time to dress up, put my hair up, do my make up, yadda-yadda-the-whole-female-nine-yards; because the backdrop was up and ready by 1325 hrs - a record considering the last year saw me leaving Chaitya Hall at 1630 hrs (only to have to rush back to the hotel at 1730 hrs for the event).
But it being in the great outdoors, and the fact that the hotel is at the edge of some pseudo-cliff overlooking into the valleys yonder, there was wind, a lot of it;
and by 1530 hrs, I had to run back to the hotel to help tack and sew everything back on, leaving only at 1630 hrs (AGAIN!). *boo hoo*
And considering that I also had to arrange music for the dining part of the event, I only got about to getting ready at 1730 hrs;
making me late for the event;
making Jagdeep call me up at 1815 hrs to tell me that all the VIPs were waiting for me to start the event.
o_O

Anyway, where were we before I meandered off the track?

Other than that, this year's Annual Night was probably like most other Annual Nights before: speeches, prizes, student performances, lecturer's performance, makan (food!).
Now, who says I don't have good summarisation skills? ;)

Now, some photos from the event:

FINALLY, I get on stage for the right reasons: for my Distinction in Forensic Medicine.
*whee*
Not bad, considering the events that led up to the University Exams and the Forensic Medicine Viva Voce...

The outgoing Batch posing for its last ever Annual Night in Manipal.
Forgive the less-than-enthusiastic-lack-lustre smiles;
there were like some 20+ cameras clicking at once?

Here's the very proud Mummy with her lil' Frankenstein (the backdrop-lar). ^_^
I think I surpassed even my own expectations this year. ;)

Tall-lee and Short Tee
The pun would have been amazing if I was actually surname-d Lee...
My girlfriend for the past 2+ years here in Manipal - much of my sanity (and insanity) is owed to her.

Maggie and Kwong Yan
My best-est best friend here in Manipal.

Mags & Jags :: partners in crime

The undisputed star of the Night's event.

Debater and crapper extraordinaire;
our Batch's sole student who managed to bag all four Distictions;
the Student Council President;
the College's Gold Medallist;
Supreme Leader (self-declared) of Manipal;
yadda, yadda, yadda...

People like this must smack very hard on the turban wan, hor?

Not only because he's such a bloody perfect all-rounder (academically and physical-body-shape-wise :p);
but because he always bullies me!

OK, enough for one night.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong

2005-12-11T23:56:00.000+05:30

Better Together

Humming to: "Better Together", Jack Johnson

***************

There is no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
And no song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving

Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here and where do we go
And how come it's so hard
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
It's always better when we're together

Mmm, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments just might find a way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too, too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeah, it's always better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together (mmm)

I believe in memories, they look so, so pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together

~ Jack Johnson

***************

i miss you so much that it actually hurts really, i do

Margaret Alexandria Yoong