Proshat The Great

Dear God,

2009-06-27T20:19:00.002+04:30

Dear God,
I was told that you would listen to me in any language if I would call out your name. I had also been told that you would carry me in times of need.
Dear God, here in my city, every night, millions of hopeful voices call out to you, they are calling you by your supreme power... They are calling you The Great!
Dear God,
There are people dieing in my city! There people who reach out to you to save their soul, to save their future.
Dear God,
There are injustice in your name... there are people being beaten in your name!
Dear God,
Save us! Save our souls... We did not ask for much. Our guilt was to understand... to see... not to obey stupidity.

Where Is My Vote?

2009-06-15T13:46:00.003+04:30

I am kicking and alive as we speak; but Tehran isn't! Tehran is the scene of clash between protesters and riot police!

I live in the heart of the clash: We hear gunshots, we see fire, we witness people running! Guards march on... we shut up....

I have not seen such a thing! Not even in June 1999 when Police ride into University dorms.... My friends had gotten hit.

Where is my vote? Where is the confidence I once had that WE can build this country? What happened to the cheerful faces and hopeful looks of young people?

I want my vote back! I withdraw from pseudo-electing M. A.N.! I am ashamed of my nationality for the first time in my life! I am ashamed of the vote I cast! I am ashamed!

I am frightened! My world has just ended and the life I once dreamed is a far far illusion.

I did not ask for much! I had no problem with Hejab! I did not want to go clubbing all night! I just wanted to be able to smile. to be proud of who I am, where I come from! I just wanted to...

My vote goes to...

2009-02-22T14:07:00.000+03:30

Mr. Khatami? Nope! Wrong answer...
I have been invite by several people to join the cause and support Mr. Khatami. I even had the discussion on phone with Sunnaz.
Mr. Khatami had been my idol... in 1376 I skipped school and attended his campaigns. Back in 76, we were too trusting and we were opting for a change... the change came... and went away.
I loved him... I loved listening to him and to follow his speeches. I used to follow everything and I fantasized about a better life for women.
He did make some changes... I want to be fair. However, that did not leave us in a better place... People were hungry... and with social change, their hunger for money, for the luxury of a comfortable life grew...
We believed that "it was our right to live a good life" that we had a right to be asking for welfare since we were "intellects"
The time has changed: I do not wish to analyze the changes and the decisions that led us here; but, I wish to state the fact:
People are hungry, a hunger for food, for financial security, for "sufficient" salary.
They have the money but they can not buy anything. They can not invest. There is no hope.
And the next one to rule will have very hard days facing the situation: He has to be powerful, he has to has a "rescue" plan.
Mr. Khatami has my heart forever; but he has to assure me (a pedestrian in his chess)that he can handle the future... He has to name at least a few economists as his consultant and he has to let me feel that by voting to him, I will not actually be blaming myself for the rest of myself.
I already made the mistake twice, and I want some proof before I make the third. :)

2009-01-29T15:46:00.000+03:30

Has it ever occurred to you that life moves on soooooo fast?

Update on the messy life on mine

2009-01-08T20:44:00.002+03:30

The are few hundred reasons why I dont update my blog.... Quite surprisingly!
First of all blogger is playing tricks here... I can barely log in on and when I do leaving comments, or writing new post is almost impossible. Rummer has it that Google is reducing its services in Iran (which is just the cherry on top of everything else)
Anyway, that is not the main reason though... my job load had increased 200% and my pay check got reduced by 50% which is just the way it is... hence, I am looking for a new job while trying to handle the situation at work.
My thesis title got rejected again which sure means tons of new articles to be read again (have I mentioned that I have read 150 articles, 2 GigaBite information on my thesis so far?)
My friends Thesis deadline is in one month and his thesis is a base for mine so we have to work together and the stress is .... ok its nearly nerve breaking.

My thesis

2008-11-17T09:42:00.002+03:30

The city I adore...
And finally I am working on it...
Looking at my life, I understand that nothing has ever meant more to me than it... It is part of who I am and part of whatever I will be...
Generation after generation we lived on this land, held it dear to our heart and sacrificed for it and I guess now is the time I pay my dues to the city I love: Tehran

One Foot at a time... till I drawn

2008-10-26T12:45:00.003+03:30

Had been a long and nasty journey without you... I came to understand that in a second you can turn to a pest in the eyes of strangers.
"I like being a pest... it's better than being ignored" you mentioned one day and now...
--
Life in Tehran is getting harder passing each minute:
Dont get me wrong. I am not about to complain. after all I chose to stay.
And if it was not for the economic crisis, I would have been happy. However, when I get my relatively sufficient pay check and in 2 days, I am left pennyless!!!! life does not seem so bright!

To Sanaz

2008-09-25T12:41:00.001+03:30

Missing home is hard... But there is a price to everything... to everyone. We have to make sacrifices in order to move on.Take the memories... hang on to them but still let the sunshine of future warm your heart.

A Letter to You

2008-08-19T10:39:00.005+04:30

I'm afraid that it might be true... that the world is about to face a crisis like it did in 20s... Almost everyone I know, everywhere has gone through some sort of economical chaos lately.
...

What makes me frighten is: I absolutely find no hope in future. There had always been a glimpse of hope in my heart... a barely-there light which allowed me to cope with whatever nonsense that came my way... now that light has faded into darkness also.
I look over my life and I see no thrill in living it: dull, dull existence of a black and bruised heart... How could that happen to me? Me, of all the people? Me, who had always been the smile in gray, gloomy days? Me, who had been the constant ball of energizer rays? Wasn't it supposed to happen when I would reach 40?
However, now, in the moment that I have ALMOST reached whatever goal I have planned to reach all my life, I feel NOTHING. I shrug: So what? What all the glories of a success magnifies in my life? What becomes of an overachiever?
My mind just shrugs again: No emotion brings excitement... no realization of a dream shocks me... absolute indifference.
I'm frightened: the indifference in me frightens me. The symptoms are there: I have stopped writing all together... no notepads on classes, no rush of words in a taxi, no sms blogs late in the night when I wake up and can not turn on the light, no twitters in crazy work times, no blog posts... no stories. NOTHING!
ans it scares me how easy it is to be forgotten... to be left out of life. How you can vanish mentally and go into a bubble that no one can break!

A Foggy Morning Light

2008-08-19T10:26:00.002+04:30

Dreams had been there... dark in the abyss of night...
And I was there... helpless and unable to reach beyond

2008-07-12T13:47:00.001+04:30

El is here... 7 years and 10 days...
How could I survive?

Careless

2008-07-06T09:31:00.003+04:30

I'm careless,
Careless with my emotions,
Careless with my life...

I risk my heart
And gamble on my love....

And in the end,
I never find an ace to hold...
And Ace to keep...

All I have is a dime to offer...

Semi Poems ----- Maybe

2008-07-06T09:29:00.001+04:30

I write on my 360 blog mostly... the thoughts.. the vanishing moments...

What Kind of a Student Am I?

2008-07-04T11:01:00.006+04:30

I cannot sit motionless.
I get bored easily and I stop listening.
In the class I have my earphones on and I am listening to music while writing semi-poems in English mostly.
I participate in lessons and drop answers while drawing on a pad.
I barely can wait till the break.
I like to 'MISS' classes occasionally and go somewhere and have fun instead.
(Nope I do not use the word 'ditch'... I don't 'ditch' the class... I simply use my right not to go!)
If the lesson is boring I do not hesitate to show it to my professor.
I hate having to do homework.
...
I can go on forever... but it's just enough for now. Just tell me why am I thinking about Ph.D?

Here I am!

2008-07-04T10:41:00.000+04:30

After so long I could get into this!
WOW!
I missed writting here!

Check out my Guestbook!

2008-06-15T09:54:00.001+04:30

My Worst Fears

2008-04-20T09:36:00.000+04:30

What Are You Afraid Of?

My Result: not belonging

Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about whether others will love and care for you than many people around you are? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about being unneeded, unimportant, or even ostracized by those around you? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of not belonging.

Love and Moi

2008-04-20T09:31:00.000+04:30

The Love Test

My Result: Prized Partner

You appreciate the finer things in life and tend to seek out others who share your refined tastes. High fashion, gourmet meals, luxurious getaways — these are the kinds of things that you enjoy. If you can experience them with a worldly, stylish mate, all the better. You are drawn to people who know how to take care of themselves and are hooked in socially. Whether you're out at a club or a restaurant opening, it's important to you to be part of the scene.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=loveogt&c=50652

Harry Potter and Moi

2008-04-17T20:46:00.001+04:30

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?

My Result: Ginny Weasley

You rarely need Polyjuice potion because you're usually happy just being you! While you might not make the biggest splash or cause drama, you slowly and steadily win over lots of people who think you're pretty darn wonderful. While you can be a little shy and self-conscious at times (especially around a crush), you're probably considered to be a BFF by more than just one person.

Luckily, your talents aren't just the magic kind. You're also kind and smart and just great to be around. Looks like you'll have a very charmed life indeed!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=harrycharacterogt&c=50652

April's Fool

2008-04-01T10:43:00.002+04:30

Today, 13th of Farvardin (first month of Iranian Calender), is 'SizdeBeDar' (13 to be gone) A day Iranian celebrate the end of Norooz Holiday & get back to work the day after. In this day, Iranian reconnect with nature. They go out on picnics & have some special dishes made & do some dancing, eat nuts & they wish for the best by knotting 'Sabze' (Young growing wheat stems in green).

Another custom is to tell a lie the way that no one notice... You call it April Joke. We call it: Doroogh e Sizdah. (13's lie).

So I made a little game today. I started calling my gang, pretending that I can not hear their voice on the cell, or the voice was too low: they shouted, screamed, & when they were just trying to make me hear them I told them to call me back & cut the conversation. When they called, I told them : April Fool!

It was fun but I believe I must not show up for the upcoming birthday of my friend! Too many furious guys & no help would be way too dangerous!

The City I Love

2008-03-17T08:41:00.002+03:30

It's spring here... walking with the green steps of the leaves. There are times that I truely understand why I love this town...:

The hectic rush before the New Year's onset, the smell of Daffodils, the pure blue sky, the wind, the stars at night so close you can reach out & touch... I Love Tehran!

NoRooz, as we call our new year, is just around a corner & once in a while it slides it's head, a takes a glance at us... Everything is in motion... people, shopping, laughing, running, strolling, cleaning... birds flying, winds blowing.... You can not sit aside & not be in the waves... they overcome your wish to stand still & move you forward...

Are You a Left-hand?

2008-03-09T13:35:00.002+03:30

One of our little joys of the life, aka pass time, is getting up dressed & have a night out in a fancy restaurant: imagine 5 girls, dressed up & made up, shouting & making a mess in a 5 star hotel. Most of the time the butlers have wild guesses that we are bunch of drunks... which we absolutely are... we get high on each other presence.

Anyhow what I wanted to say is not about that. It is more about an incident that happened in one of these posh hang outs of ours.

You are, of course, very well aware that when the table is set the glass is either set up the plate to the right or beside the plate to the right. also, I'm sure you are perfectly acquainted with the fact that the cutlery should be held by the right hand. Right?

I am not unfortunately a total lefties... but I use both hands to do things: I sew with my left hand, & I write with my right. I take the glass & the knife by my left!

Now you have all the elements to my story: A posh restaurant, a semi-lefties, & a butler of high elegance!

Our table was set when we arrived... & I was accompanied by a nice elderly gentleman who happened to be my guest. We sat & the first thing I did was as always change the place of the glass. The butler came a while later & changed the position of my glass thinking that I have done it ignorantly. & as I have had orderd Steak he put the knife down on the right side. I, once agian, changed the position of the glass, had it filled & subtly while speaking in muttered hush voice changed the position of my knife. This time the old butler got totally out of hand. He leaned over & thinking that I probably did not know the rules, whispered that I should leave the glass at its place on the right. "I'm a left-hand." I explained. He looked at me strange & said: "so? you must keep the glass on the right...!"

- no I use my left hand.

He just nodded his head like I was some wierdo & left. The next time he came by I was cutting my food with my left hand. I swear he choked.

It was nice that it seemed that he have not met someone like me. Laters that eve, my company told me that he knew a lot of left-hands who used the right hand styles in eating.

Now I wonder, do you use your left hand while on table for food?

2008-02-14T18:47:00.000+03:30

Valentine… such a world for a hermit like me… well, I feel totally out of place right now… Totally out of picture. It's like I had been left out of a great secret… a wisdom come to those who practice… you know.
Last night I went to buy a gift… I'm of those people who never left the presents for last minute since I hate buying things in a rush & when it's so crowded you can not see what you are buying; anyhow, due to financial crisis, this particular gift was left to be bought by toady… yeah, yeah, back to the main story: I went to haunt for the gift & everywhere I stepped foot on there were young girls & boys buying, laughing, cheering for a day that is not ours. It was sad… how they related to it & how I did not….
In the wrapping shop, (there is one particular shop I frequent in Mirza-Shirazi Ave. who has excellent wrapping material & a nice, tasteful lady… the name? oh, Golden Card "Karte-Talaeeii") there were too many, too many young faces just examining the boxes & wraps & all… I felt sort of out of place… like an ugly-ducky-duck in a spring of beautiful swans. I shyly asked the shopping girl for wrapping assistance & she asked is this your first? I had to stop myself from laughing… I am yet to have a real valentine.
It is not hard to see that I am beyond the age to care for romance: romance is more of a fiction to me than something tangible & real. It is only in fairy tales that lovers live happily ever after, that lovers are prefect matches. It would be great lie to believe that love… the kind of love I'm dreaming of would ever find its way out of my dreams into reality.

It's Freezing... but We got used to it!

2008-01-14T08:41:00.000+03:30

I'm still shocked that we survived... I mean honestly for more than a week the country went into a hibernation... people barely got out of the house & the fuel problem was threatening a lot of lives.

We are still in a mess regarding the gas providence. Some areas of the country have no heating system except for wood while the temperature is around -30 C.

Last week, the governmental organizations, Schools, Universities & a lot of factories had been made "closed" to save fuel for other parts of the country. In my company the heating system is off during non-work hours & it is barely on (2 hours on top) during work hours. It means that right now I am working in the office & the temperature is: 12 C. We can not serve hot plate food & well, it's almost the same in every other governmental companies. (Though I must say that the temperature in managerial office is 22 which is not surprising at all).

Anyhow, We are surviving.... rather than everything else. I sleep with a warm bag in my bed every night since My dad, a very caring & philanthropic person, had turned the house heating system to lower temperature, 19 C to help saving the gas for those in need. (He made us wear a lot of clothes & said that he would be ashamed if we could not tolerate coldness while people are on the verge of losing lives).

We survived!

Freezinggggggggg

2008-01-09T10:52:00.001+03:30

I just wrote a post which got vanished! Anyhow, We're freezing... Gonna write more soon.