Heart Shaped Cut-Outs of Cheese

Only in Vegas

2009-11-09T14:56:00.004-08:00

I now represent a chocolate company (ethel's, my heart), a pizza place (Sammy's, my stomach) and a titty show (Fantasy, my....?) which HELLO, only in Vegas.

I've been meaning to do this post for awhile now, seeing as I live in one of the most unconventional cities in the world. So I've made a little list of things that I have experienced that made me say "Only in Vegas."

1. Every time I leave town and come home through McCarren Airport, the sound dingdingding of the slot machines, sounds like home. Or how about the fact that, most of the time, I don't even hear that sound anymore. This worries me, have I been here too long??

2. I drive past New York, New York, Paris and Monte Carlo to get to school.

3. It's 92 degrees at 8 a.m. OR more recently, it's 88 degrees in the middle of November.

4. We have a snow day once every 30 years (and for 8 inches of flurries).

5. 1/2 of the pictures on your Facebook have the "Spy on Vegas" logo in the bottom right corner.

6. Your night starts at 11 because here, there is no such thing as LAST CALL.

7. The Hard Rock Pool (home of Rehab) is like your friend who really isn't your friend but you pretend to like them so you can go swim in their AWESOME pool. Because The Strip is our backyard.

8. You despise the saying "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." As Lauren once pointed out, it doesn't count if you stay in Vegas.

9. Have you ever heard the one about the time I went to a friend's wedding and ended up with three Asian prostitutes at my hotel door at 4 a.m.? If not, ask me about it next time we have drinks, it's a good one.

10. If there isn't FREE CHAMPAGNE FOR LADIES, I'm not going.

11. It's 2 p.m. on a Friday and you're sitting at rehearsals for a topless show next to Robin Leach.

12. State taxes are considered foreign policy to you.

13. You know when Nevada Day is and feel the right to celebrate.

14. You come out on November 17th to a chocolate factory to watch 3-acres of cacti get lit up with 1/2 a million lights (and consider it a holiday tradition).

15. The boy you're (no longer) dating, tells you he just got a new job working security. At a strip club.

16. A story of the dangers of pole dancing in a moving vechicle runs in the daily paper.

I'm sure there are a ton more and I'd love to hear your own "Only in Vegas" story in the comment section below. I'll continue to add to this list as Vegas happens.

Wild Things

2009-10-30T10:16:00.005-07:00

This year, I got it in my head that I wanted to be Max from Where the Wild Things Are. I did multiple searches - and if you know me, you know that I am the QUEEN of searches - but nothing was coming up. I found a few Max costumes on Etsy but they were $100 +. I couldn't believe it - how, when the movie came out TWO WEEKS before Halloween - were there not an abundance of Max and Wild Things roaming around??

This is when I picked up the phone.

"Hey, Ma."

"Hey, Kate. What's Up?"

"Ummm...I wanted to see if maybe...possibly, you might somehow consider making me a Halloween costume this year."

"What?"

"Yeah, you see, I really want to be Max from Where the Wild Things Are and you can't find that costume like ANYWHERE so we'd have to make it."

"We'd?? You must be out of your God damned mind."

A week later we were at JoAnn's picking out fabric and patterns (have I told you lately how much I love my mom?!?) and a week after that, I was headed to my first Halloween party all Maxed out.

A lot of people didn't get it, but I don't think I was working with the right crowd that night. I heard a lot of "King of the Bunnies!" (WTF?) but today, today is our annual costume contest at work and I've got Max in my car just ready to make the debut he finally deserves.

This costume contest goes hand-in-hand with SK+G's Annual Chili Cook-Off Event (and yes, today is basically a big party at the agency.)

Another matter that also deeply involves Pep (again, I love my ma!). The wonderful woman that I call my mother has spent weeks preparing the the 1st place winner (I swear, we've got this one in the bag. We placed 2nd last time). She is even making a side of homemade southern- style cornbread with chipotle cheddar. I KNOW, SHE = AMAZING.

So wish us luck. The Spice Girls are gonna OWN the Chili Cook-Off 2009 event. Sing it with me now (to the tune of Wannabe) "If you wanna eat my chili, grab yourself a spoon. This chili is forever, the spiciness never enddddsss."

OMG You Guys...I've Missed YOU!

2009-10-26T15:30:00.004-07:00

Ah, life. It's been a little hectic lately. Ok, well for the past few months. I can tell you that every single day I think to myself "I've got to write on HSCOOC, I've got to blog about something FAB for all of my 16 readers." And then I get a call or someone is leaving town, or coming into town or hey, I'm gonna leave town or I'm working an event, and hey, the girl left the show, OH WAIT THE CACTUS LIGHTING IS ALMOST HERE. And in between all of that time, I get to do school work. And yell at Gordon.

But I promise to get back on track, I've got so much to say (as always).

In the meantime, will you forgive me if I post some really cute pictures of Jordyn Love? You see, I babysat the little cutie a couple weeks back and have been waiting for her to sign this release so I could post pictures of her (her career as a struggling artist is really blowing up big time).

She has been super busy with a number of important things, like learning how to count to four, getting ready for BH2 and potty training. Maybe she could come over and teach Gordon a thing or two since we're REGRESSING.

And, just for the record, I did not think she could possibly stick the whole banana in her mouth but THEN SHE DID.

Do Guys Google?

2009-10-12T17:31:00.002-07:00

Guys, I can tell you that 99.9% of the time, if you give a woman your first and last name, she is going to Google you. It's just a fact. Some of us even get Google alerts on ourselves. So when the time comes and I present a gentleman with my first and last name, I have to wonder....do guys Google?

I am Googleicious. If roles were reversed and I googled a guy and 1/2 the stuff that comes up on me, came up on him, I would think I hit the jackpot. My whole life shows up. Including this blog (hence, the whole my whole life thing). A guy that I just started seeing could type in my name and all of a sudden, have access to my past, my present and my future. He could immediately know all of the 100 things I want to do before I die. See ugly photos of me. Learn about my speech impediment. Understand how seriously I take the art of cheese. And of course, while on that subject, my picky picky eating habits. He could probably single handily from this blog, decide he never wants to see me again.

In this day and age, thanks to this world wide web, a relationship could end before it even begins. With Facebooks and MySpaces and Blogs and Twitters....and even if he did decide to see me again after reading this blog...WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT? I give HSCOOC all my best stories.

Don't get me wrong, this blog is my heart but it does take the mystery out of getting to know someone. This blog is me. Meet me. Katie Knoch. My whole life is an open URL for your reading pleasure.

So, guy...is that you? Did you Google me and you're reading this now freaking out because I'm totally on to you and your antics?

Or am I just being paranoid? Either way, this calls for a poll. I would imagine that like .02% of my readers are actually male but girls, maybe you could ask your men...did you ever Google me when we first met? Holler with your findings over to the left.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

2009-10-08T17:43:00.005-07:00

My mom picked up this pitcher for me last weekend and I am absolutely in love with it. I cannot wait to make a large batch of ice tea to pour out of it!

I've had quite the week (again). Our little Gordie boy got sick Sunday morning. His symptoms were "coming out of both ends" (sorry!) and he was REAL lethargic, we went to Pep's on Sunday and he wasn't even interested in playing with Darby and Allie. He just laid and laid and laid. Until I was asleep and then he cried and cried and cried. So we had a pretty rough night which ended up with him at the vets, staying over so they could monitor him. The good news is, he is now home with me and seems to be on the road to recovery. $500 on the pup in the last week.

Then my Jeannette the Jeep started giving me troubles. Whenever the car was idling, the oil pressure gage would go all the way down to zero and my check gages light would DING and light up. This happened EVERY. TIME. I. STOPPED. And since my dog was sick, I couldn't be without a car so I heard that dinging a lot (two words, Wiz) this week. However, dropped the car off this morning, got it fixed. $200.

Dentist DRAMA. Apparently my old dentist (for those of you who live in Las Vegas, never ever ever ever go to Dr. Trobough...he is a shady shady man) never put my crown on correctly for the root canal he did on me last year. Now, since the crown never fit, I've got an infection under there and need to replace the crown. Insurance does not replace crowns that are less than 60 months old. It's been about 14 on this one. Which means, unless Dr. Ahole decides to pay up, I'll have to cover 100% of the cost of the crown. Either way, as of this week, $550 at the dentist.

Yesterday was a reeeaaallll joy. It all started when I tripped walking up the stairs at work. Then, at lunch, I decided to go home, relax and make a PB&J. I got all the way home and up my three flights of stairs to realize that I left my keys sitting on my desk at work. So, Ok. I go get some Chipotle instead. It's a nice day out, I'll sit and read my Entertainment Weekly but OH WAIT I TOOK IT OUT OF MY PURSE THIS MORNING. Ok. I guess I'll come and eat my lunch at my desk. Get back to work to realize I'm locked out of my office because, again, KEYS ARE SITTING ON MY DESK.

Oh and I haven't made out in nearly THREE MONTHS. Sorry, Dad.

So you know that pitcher up top there. Yeah, scratch the iced tea...Renee is coming over tonight and I plan on filling it with red red wine and sipping the night away.

A Week in the Life Of Cheese

2009-09-30T12:58:00.007-07:00

Monday: Work and a root canal, nothing else needs to be said here. That was enough for one day. Oh and Gossip Girl :)
Tuesday: Work, class and skate with Gordon.
Wednesday: Work, Wednesday class canceled but still have to head to a work event. Leave work event. Walk Gordon. Go on date. Don't get enough sleep.
Thursday: This is where it gets good. This is the day that I decided to QUADRUPLE BOOK MYSELF for one evening. It went something like this:
8:30 a.m. - 4:27 p.m. WORK
4:45: Happy Hour at Sammy's with Jen, my client from ethel's. Drink wine. Eat tapas. Happiest Hours indeed.
5:45: Get home, feed Gordon, change, Hi Sienna!
6:30: Arrive at Pep's to drop Gordon off before I go to a film at UNLV
7:00: Park at UNLV
7:17: Finally find the building where the film (The Other Side of Immigration, in case you're curious) was showing. I parked SO FAR. I've been going to this school on and off since like 2002 and I still don't know my way around campus. Awesome.
8:36: Back to Pep's, eat dinner, watch Vampire Diaries.
9:47: Arrive at Tenaya Creek for Chad's (RIP) 30th Birthday get together. It is like a high school reunion. Drink beers.
10:55: Pick up Gordon from Pep's to drive home. At this point I am trying to decide if I can make my fourth obligation of the evening.
11:53: After deciding I WILL make it, dropping Gordon off, driving BACK down to the Strip, getting stuck in the worst traffic ever on Flamingo and LV Blvd (rush hour on the Strip is like 11:35 p.m.) I finally arrive to Ellis Island.
Friday
12:07 a.m.: Watch Chris perform an awesome rendition of Oasis' Wonderwall, including a remix of A MILLI over the track.
12:22: Decide to depart Ellis Island and head for Dino's where, once again, we become BEER PONG CHAMPIONS.
2:34 a.m.: Home. Sleep.
7:43 a.m.: UP FOR WORK. Big day today.
8:47 a.m. - 1:11 p.m.: Spent compiling and organizing a list of RSVPs for over 1100 people for the Lagasse Stadium party.
1:36 p.m.: Lunch with Lobo
2:34: Nap
4:07: Gordon walk
6:29 p.m.- Midnight: Arrive at The Palazzo. This evening my team and I worked on a FAB event for the opening of Emeril Lagasse's new sportsbook at the Palazzo. Bar, Book and BAM! as we like to say. The event ran very smoothly and it was awesome to be a part of a big star-studded event but I was a very tired girl when I got home at 1:02 a.m.
Saturday
2:12 a.m.: SLEEP.
7:30 a.m.: Up to meet with school group at Sbux. And no, not that Sbux. Boca Park Sbux. Gordon comes with me.
12:53 p.m.: Lunch with Lo (we do this a lot)
2-4 p.m.: Lay out by the pool with Lo, finally a chance to decompress and catch up on my Entertainment and US Weeklies.
8:30 p.m.: Dinner at Firefly with friends. Sangria. Tapas. Happy.

11 p.m. - 2 a.m.: Freemont East. Don't Tell Mama. The Griffin. Watch a fight break out with a bunch of kids dressed in golf outfits. Oh, downtown.

Sunday

11 a.m.: Park with Andi for dog walk

12 p.m.: Arrive to Pep's for a day filled with crafts, errands, shopping and homework

4:30: Linner with Aunt Karen

7:30: Anika comes over and we pre-party it up for the Britney Spears concert. Homemade tee-shirts included

9 - 11 p.m.: Watch Britney struggle through her last show of the Circus tour. A great time was had but she was tired and you could tell. Plus if you recall, Eener and I were just at this same show 5 months ago. But free tickets are free tickets and Britney is Britney!

Monday

1:03 a.m.: Sleep.

The rest of the day consisted of a full days work, homework, getting home, feeding and walking Gordon and meeting Aunt Karen for dinner and drinks down at Town Square.

It is now Wednesday and I still haven't caught my breath.

Go, Fight, Win!

2009-09-22T11:00:00.004-07:00

So today is the first day of Fall. And what is more Fall than some good 'ol football? Now, I've taken this whole "getting into football" thing pretty srsly over the past two years. You see, two seasons ago (the year of 2007), I decided that I needed to have a TEAM. Lobo, as my BFF, was in football pools at work, fantasy league stuff on the side, placing bets at the sports book on the weekends and well, I was like "hey that seems like fun, I want a team." So I talked to John Bon (Lobo's brother) and he said I should pick a team based on where I am from. We came to the Baltimore Ravens except HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR COLORS? Purple and yellow?? Eh, not so much. So I based picking my team on colors. Yes, I said it. I picked The NY Giants for a classic combo of red, white and blue (just don't make me chant their colors, OK??) And do you know what happened that season, kids? THE GIANTS WON THE SUPERBOWL.

That's right. Because I was their newest fan. And damn proud of it.

So ever since that glorious day in February 2008, I have stayed true to my team. Sam (my stepdad), even gifted me with a gigantic XXL official NFL jersey that he won at the bar during Monday Night Football one night last year. And I wore it to a bar to watch one of the final Giants games last season (much to the pleasure of Scott and Lobo). And I will wear it again. Over leggings! Over pajama pants! Over jeans! Over a dress! Photos to come. Even Gordo has a Giants-themed hoody!

But I digress. The point is, I've somehow TRICKED MYSELF into really enjoying football. At first it was a joke because think about it....ME??? Loving football??? C'mon. What would I ever do with my Monday nights trying to decide between Gossip Girl and Monday Night Football (GG still wins, for the record). But then during the season of the Bear, him being the biggest Longhorns fan in Vegas, I got really into that team, too. Not that I had much of a choice but by mid-season, I was loving Colt McCoy and leaving the table with Lobo while visiting the Wicklers in Denver to CHECK THE SCORE.

Then, it happened...over the past two weeks, I've actually SAT DOWN AND WATCHED THE WHOLE GIANTS GAME by myself.

What has happened to me?

To top it ALL off, Anika and I attended the UNLV vs. Oregon State game last weekend. Yeah, we took our SATURDAY NIGHT that used to be reserved for dance floors and cosmos (but, lets be real, Club Monster Katie died with DJ AM) and went to SAM BOYD STADIUM, which I hadn't been to since Lisa and I saw N*SYNC's Celebrity Tour there in 2001. We did it right, have you no worries. We tailgated with the best of them and I even wore my school's colors (Anika, unknowingly showed up in Oregon State colors....HILARIOUS, what are the odds that she would be wearing blue and orange that night? She had to make a quick change in the car before we headed in).

We drank beer, we ate pretzels (and CHEESE, of course), we checked out the dudes (another bonus to this whole football thing), we booed and we even got up on our feet and chanted when the Rebels scored a touchdown.

Unfortunately, the Rebels lost the game that night.

Proving my theory of "if I'm supporting you, you will win" might be a little flawed but at least my Giant are holding strong.

This day, last Saturday, September 12, 2009, was the proudest day for my father. Carl must've called three or four times just to "see how the game was!" Doesn't even matter that it wasn't a Penn State game, he was just so happy to see his daughter taking an interest in the all mighty FOOTBALL SEASON.

And see, when I type that, I hear Al Roker in my head saying SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA. And I love it.

So who is with me for Sunday at 10 a.m. for the Giants vs. Tampa Bay game?? The best part of it all? If there is football on, beer drinking is allowed, it's like that whole "it's noon somewhere!" rule and I am all for it.

GO, FIGHT, WIN!

FML

2009-09-17T15:58:00.003-07:00

So HSCOOC, it doesn't look like I'll be marrying a Followhill anytime soon.

The trip to see the Kings of Leon in Birmingham, AL has been canceled. Dawn's husband was let go and is on his way back to Vegas now.

Guess it just wasn't meant to be.

After all that, posting and the poll and finances and having to break the news to Pep that I was going to go anyways and having my Dad call and say "You better not be spending school money to fly to Alabama!" (they still think I am 12), the plane ticket, getting the time off work. And.....canceled.

FML.

Life is for Livin'

2009-09-16T09:57:00.006-07:00

One month from today, I will either be in Nashville because the Kings of Leon just couldn't say goodbye to me OR I will be heading back to Vegas, hopefully with a signed copy of my open letter with lots of x and o's.

What can I say, the people have spoken (sorry X and Pep) and I do think it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Dawn and I are ready to party and ready for whatever this trip brings us which hopefully includes backstage passes and a sound check before the show (fingers crossed!).

I was really struggling with this decision because I know that it certainly is not the smartest thing for me to be spending my limited funds on. HOWEVER I have not done anything irresponsible and reckless since I flew to Chicago after meeting a guy at Body English one night. I knew this guy via text and email and one hazy night in a nightclub and FLEW TO CHICAGO to spend 4 days with him. That is crazy. I love you, bub, but that was crazy. My point is, look how that turned out. Nearly three years later, Cory is now one of my favorite people and that trip is definitely on the top 10 list of my life experiences. I met GREAT people (Chad!), saw the Chicago river GREEN, saw the city from an insider's perspective, experienced St. Patty's Day in one of the best cities to celebrate that glorious holiday, got my Easter Adidas and oh I could just go on and on...but I digress, the point IS, I threw caution to the wind and it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.

So here I am again, throwing caution to the wind. Just maybe, maybe I'll get a kiss out of it this time. But I would certainly settle for more life experiences and friends along the way.

SK+G Homecoming Queen

2009-09-14T15:57:00.004-07:00

On Friday afternoon, I was crowned SK+G's Homecoming Queen, 2009.

This was an 80's themed dance which I have plenty of experience in and was happy to, once again, pull out the crimper and powder blue eyeshadow. And for those of you who know me, know that any excuse for a tutu and pearls will do.

I was so proud that I wore my sash downtown Friday night where I got a lot of responses like "Um what is that?" "Oh! I won Homecoming Queen today at work!!" "Of course you did, Katie."
No one really seemed that surprised that I was still rocking the crimped hair and sash. What does it take to surprise people these days?

And yes, tonight I will be sitting on my couch, tuning into the season 3 premiere of GOSSIP GIRL while wearing my crown and tiara.

Dilemma

2009-09-10T10:58:00.004-07:00

Ok HSCOOC readers...I need your input.

My dear friend Dawn's husband was recently selected to be the new Sound Engineer for the Kings of Leon for the remainder of their tour.

I know...you can imagine how much I FREAKED OUT when I heard this news. Would my Open Letter get in the hands of one of the Followills?? Would they accept my marriage proposal? Could this exact moment change my life (for the better) FOREVER??

And totally stoked for Sean, too. Touring with THE HOTTEST ROCKBAND IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. He is with them now and things are going well. Dawn has decided to go to the Birmingham, Alabama show to visit her man on the road.

I have been invited along and I don't know if Dawn really knows what she is signing up for here. When it comes to KOL (and a few other things), I can get pretty freakin' GIDDY.

Sean can (more than likely) score us tickets to the show. I would have to buy a plane ticket and although I'd love to think that I'd be up all night with the band, I'll probably have to get a hotel room, too. Tickets are around $235.

Now I can TOTALLY JUSTIFY this price if this means I'd get to actually meet them (and have Caleb fall in love with me) but we can't exactly guarantee that (I mean the meeting part, if I met him, OBV, he would fall in love with me). So is it worth the gamble? I mean, I would win either way because I would get to see the show again. But $235 ++ other misc. expenses is a hefty price tag for a girl who has got bills, tuition and animals to take care of.

The concert is October 15th.

Here is where you come in...see my new fancy poll over to the left? Yeah, I need you to cast your vote.

To go or not to go...that is the question.

S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D O-U-T

2009-08-31T16:57:00.005-07:00

I love clip art. I love even more to communicate through clip art. Take this photo for example, is this woman sleepy? Maybe but I can tell you what she is IS. She is STRESSED OUT. Head in the hands?? DEAD GIVEAWAY. And that is exactly how I am feeling and since I'm too stressed out to take a photo of myself being stressed out, she will have to do.

I'm hoping that by taking a moment from my hectic schedule to blog about being stressed, that it will actually reduce my stress. Either that or by seeing all the things listed here together is going to make my head explode. Let's give it a shot, shall we?

Things that I am stressed about:

School. Ha! Who would've thunk that by going to Graduate School while in a full-time career would cause STRESS in someones life? Tuesday's class was GREAT. Super stoked, definitely going to be the class I get the most out of (basically, it's Effective Teaching Strategies, aka Teaching 101). So I'm thinking I have the whole thing under control, excited to LEARN and be back in the classroom and then came Wednesday. Oh Wednesday and your evil Multiculturalism. I get to class and so far, digging the professor, even with her purple denim. Then she handed out the syllabus. 10 pages, single spaced, front and back. We have FIVE group projects and two individual projects, one which requires 20 hours of research and me talking to a state representative in person FOUR times. You know, because I have so much time to talk to people in power. This is on top of weekly readings and reports. Everyone had told me "Oh, Multicultural is a walk in the park. No worries!" But, OH NOES, I had to go and get THIS PERSON AS A PROFESSOR. The VP for Diversity and Inclusion?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Somehow, I don't think she takes this subject lightly.

Burning fires' SMOKE takes over the Vegas valley. Yeah, so you know that whole California is burning thing (you ok, LISA G??) Well we are lucky enough to have all of that blowing thisaway. Yesterday, I had my patio door open so Gordon could go out and I had to close it because my whole place smelt like smoke. Then this morning, when I woke up, I could hardly breathe and have been hacking stuff up all day (I know, so attractive) and then I walked outside and my car was COVERED IN ASHES which blew inside the minute I opened the car door. Awesome. Note to self: Avoid breathing outdoors for the next OH I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG. Here is a photo my friend Effie took of today:

It doesn't usually look like that.

I am stuck in town Labor Day weekend. Ok, fair enough, not really a stress causer but could've been a stress RELIEVER. However, mine and Lobo's trip to California has been postponed until later in September.

Adult acne. I don't know if this is REALLY happening to me right now but over the past week, I have been breaking out like a 15-year-old boy. Panda thinks it may have to do with a new hair product, X thinks that it has to do with stress. But breaking out is stressing me out and IT IS A NEVER ENDING CIRCLE.

The dentist. I don't know if you know this about me, but I have been CURSED with two things in my life. The first, bad eye sight which I found out last week, just got worse. And the other, bad teeth. Not in a British kinda way but in a doesn't matter how many times a day I brush and floss (ok on the flossing, who are we kidding here??), I'm still going to get a cavity. And no, this has nothing to do with my love of candy. I went to the dentist today to find out I have several infections in my bridge area. I heard the words root canal and extraction way too many times for my taste. I go back for a full consultation next week.

Gordon. Won't stop licking his right foot and I don't know why. Which is just a cherry on top of my shit pie.

Pardon my language, I'm just a little stressed, remember?

P.S...Turns out, it was the latter and my head just exploded.

Back-to-School

2009-08-24T17:43:00.002-07:00

The above photo of me is from my first day of first grade. Are you wondering why there is a panda pinned to the middle of my chest area? I was, too, so I asked Pep and she said that she pinned it on me that morning and told me that if I got nervous while I was away at school, that I could rub the panda to know that she was thinking of me. She then watched as I got on the bus and never turned back.

I found this panda pin the other day while going through an old jewelry box. I'm going to wear it tomorrow. Do you know why?

BECAUSE I AM GOING BACK-TO-SCHOOL.

That's right, HSCOOC, I'm heading back to UNLV to pursue (another) degree in teaching. If we're friends, this makes sense. Especially if we were friends when I was using my mom's grade book while writing A + with 5 stickers on your assignments.

For those of you that are like "Say wha??? I thought you did AWESOME PR WORK??" I would say, first off, I do. I do do (that ain't gonna fly in the classroom) awesome PR work but I am not sure I want to be doing awesome PR work in my 50's. And I love my job. I love the people I work for and the clients I have but would I love my job if I didn't work where I work for who I work for? IDK. And what happens when I want to blow this neon stand? It's not easy to land a PR job these days anywhere. Plus, I LOVE kids. Always have. I wanted to be a teacher when I was little but my mom told me if I wanted to make money, that wasn't the profession for me (she is a teacher). But, at 26 I've learned that I just plan on marrying rich so what does it matter (kidding) (kind of). No but srsly money isn't the most important thing. I want to shape young minds. I want every day to be different and unexpected. I want to have an impact on someones life and I don't know if grand openings at restaurants are going to do that for me. Now, I know teaching isn't a walk in the park but I do feel that it will be worth it.

Justified enough?

So tomorrow starts my first day back at school. I'm joining the Graduate Licensure Program - I know, sounds so official, doesn't it? I'm taking two classes this semester and at this rate, looks like two years from now, I'll be in the classroom as MS. KNOCH teaching first graders, all rubbing little pandas pinned to their chests.

An Open Letter to the Kings of Leon

2009-08-21T16:02:00.009-07:00

So, since my Open Letters have worked 50% of the time (see SBC even though that is RIP now), I figured my track record is pretty good. So when the Kings of Leon concert came to an end the other night and I felt so cold, it came to me that Hey! I could just write them an Open Letter and hope for a marriage proposal out of it, so here goes....

Dear KOL,

It was an October afternoon in Denver when I first heard your sounds. I was driving the Wiz's car with Lobo in the front seat, cruising to the LoDo district. Lauren was picking out a c.d. and put in a little something called Because of the Times. As 'Knocked Up' started, Lauren said, "Ha! I bet this is Lindsay and Josh's favorite song." Then it kicked in..."I don't care what nobody says, we're gonna have a baby...." and then you started singing about coup de villes and being renegades and how your girl was always mad and usually drunk but you loved her like no other...AND I WAS IN LOVE. Every time we got in the car to go somewhere, I was in the backseat like a child saying "Can you play the baby song again, please?" We must've listened to that track 15 times in two days and I just couldn't get enough.

Lauren and I both got home and immediately purchased your album on iTunes. It was all we listened to. And let me just tell you, this was a pretty big deal because prior to that album, it had been only pop and hip-hop in my ears for a loooonnggg time. This was like being reconnected with my roots, my rock was BORN AGAIN! Then, I was watching an episode of Gossip Girl and I heard SEX ON FIRE which set ME ON FIRE. Before you could say Only By The Night, it was in my cd player and didn't come out until I started to miss Because of the Times and it has been on that same rotation for months now.

In June, while in Florida for Bookie's wedding, I got wind that you were coming to the Joint in LAS VEGAS WHERE I LIVE. As soon as I got back, I was at the Hard Rock, buying tickets and as soon as they were in my hands, I was jumping up and down with joy. It was going to happen, for sure, I was going to go to the show, you would spot me in the crowd, realize I was the one who moves you, the only one you seeeeeee and we would live happily ever after on the road, traveling the world, poppin' out some babies in between tours.

I set my Google countdown to your concert. 56 days until KOL, 37 days, 15 days....AND THEN IT WAS HERE. This was just on Wednesday. Miss Jones met me at my place at 6 p.m. and we toasted tall cans and shots of SoCo and Lime to the big night ahead of us. Stopped at In N Out, Lobo in tow and we were on our way. We arrived just in time (sorry Whigs!) for your set, found a perfect spot on the floor to dance with a clear view of you all and then the night came and took me away. For the next HOUR AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES, I was in heaven. Every song made me scream and throw my hands in the air and sing along like the obnoxious girl you all make me feel like. Love makes us do crazy, crazy things. Sure, there were songs that I would've loved to have heard you perform ('True Love Way' and 'I Want You' in case you're taking notes) but next time, KOL, next time. And for some reason, you didn't recognize me, pull me on stage and put a ring on it (yes, all four of you) but again, next time, KOL, next time.

Thursday, the day after the show, was like the worst day ever. In fact, I said it was worse than June 8th and December 26th PUT TOGETHER. Because I know the next time June 7th and Christmas come again, I do not know the next time I will get to see you perform again live. At this very moment, I am kicking myself for not buying tickets to your LA show before they sold out months ago.

So, if you read this, KOL...CALL ME NOW BABY, I'LL COME A RUNNIN'.

I love you hard,

Katie

3 Generations : A Trip to Pittsburgh

2009-08-18T16:36:00.007-07:00

Two weeks ago, Pep and I packed our bags and headed to her homeland. It had been about three years since I had visited Beppee in Pittsburgh and I'm never one to turn down a trip back east.

Beppee is my grandmother. You see, she didn't want to be called Grandma (would make sense if you knew her) and I couldn't say Betty when I was little so it came out more like Beppee. And it stuck. 26 years going strong. I always tease my mom that I'm going to have her grand kids call her Peppee. She would kill me. And luckily, she looks forward to do the day that she will be called Grandma. Not, of course, until someone puts a ring on it though, as she reminds me every time I pick up a onesie in Target and start cooing.

3 generations under one roof can get very interesting, especially when you have two that are as close as my mom and I are. But I have to say, thanks to some heavy drinking - I kid, I kid (kind of) - we all got along pretty well for those four days. We spent a lot of time going through Beppee's old photos and I was fascinated by her scrapbooks and the history...so many telegrams! I think she really enjoyed getting to show me a glimpse of her life at my age and I certainly appreciated taking the stroll down memory lane with her. She also gifted me with her sterling silver rose plated set which I will treasure until the day I die. As soon as Pep and I get it polished up, I'll have to post some pictures on here for you to see. And just in case THAT wasn't enough family history, dad got wind of my new obsession with antique items and brought me down two quilts that my great grandmother had made. They are so beautiful and the work behind them, I can't even imagine! I can barely get a button sewn back on!

My goal for the trip, other than catching up with Beppee and grabbing a beer and playing some pool with my dad, was to really document Beppee's house. My grandparents on my dad's side passed away a few years back and their house....ohhhh their house....I wish HOW I WISH I had more photographs of it. It was magnificent with sooooo much history (and ghosts, I'm not kidding, ask Andy). The best (well, depending on who you ask) thing about Beppee's house is that she keeps everything, there was enough canned goods in the basement to feed a family through the next millennium. And the can opener! OH MY. So when I wasn't drinking and playing games with family, I was taking photographs.

So here we go, Beppee's house and my Pittsburgh trip as told through pictures.

Yes, that is a caricature of yours truly at age....9 or 10 probably. Stop laughing.

Babysitter's Club: Life at 18 Months with a Tongue

2009-08-12T17:10:00.010-07:00

I was putting this post together and picking out my favorite photos when I realized that they all feature Jordyn and her tongue. She and her tongue hanging out on the giraffe, she and her tongue reading Eclipse, she and her tongue just being cute.

But I digress.

I babysat for my favorite toddler weekend before last. Now, you should be pleased to know that she was already fed by the time I arrived. Her mom wasn't too keen on my whole new pricing plan after our last "incident". Fine by me, more time to play and watch YO GABBA GABBA.

Do you have a toddler? Do you know what Nobbin is? If not, you need to call up your local cable provider and order today. Why couldn't Yo Gabba Gabba be on when I was a toddler? Not that I don't just take it upon myself to enjoy it now and I probably would've been way too crazy about it and would've never learned to read or write and then HSCOOC wouldn't exist and OMG that would be the worst thing ever. Again, I digress. Hey, BFFs, remember these guys?

The Aquabats? YEAH THEY ARE ON YO GABBA GABBA. Hey, BFFs, remember Nathanial who likes to dance from The Soup? YEAH THAT WAS ON YO GABBA GABBA. Do you see what I MEAN??? Best show ever. Next to Gossip Girl. And Lost. So anyways, I had requested Stacy DVR some episodes of YGG for Jordyn and I to enjoy and boy, did we. We danced along with those kids all over the living room.

Afterwards, we were pretty pooped and so we took a seat on the couch. This is when Jordyn pulled out my mac book and told me "we need to talk".

I have to admit, I got pretty nervous. I was thinking, 'Ok, she could be pulling up her Facebook page to show me some boy from daycare and his current status update OR she could be pulling up the New Moon trailer since we haven't watched it together yet (but like 1,000,000 times on our own).' But do you know what she pulled up? THIS BLOG. Yeah, she went to her favorites and clicked on Heart Shaped Cut-Outs of Cheese. I was flattered we were on her favorites but knew I was about to get an ear full.

For the most part, she had very nice things to say. She liked the way I posted about our first experience together, she liked looking at the photos but she did not like the fact that I posted photos of her trying to stab me with a plastic fork. She asked me if I remembered having to eat baby food and I said "Oh, don't even go there, sister." To which she replied, "I'm just saying, maybe you could cut me a little slack."

Fair enough, little J, fair enough. I told her I was sorry, that sometimes I just write for humor and forget that little people have feelings too. Before I knew it, we were BFFs again and that is when I remembered that I brought Eclipse for us to discuss for our book club. Oh yeah, we are in a book club now together, I forgot to tell you. Hopefully, she'll be more active than her mom was in our last one (kidding, Stace, I love you!) So we discussed the third installment of the Twilight series, Team Jacob vs. Team Edward. I totally can tell she has the hots for Jacob. Look how googly-eyed she is here when I brought him up.

Afterwards, I asked her if she wanted to head to Don't Tell Mama to sing on the piano. She was all about it. So we got all ready and then just as we were putting on her shoes while sitting on the counter (TOTALLY SAFE, DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT), we hit a giggle fest...

So then we decided just to ride the giraffe instead.

I know, SO adorable. Great times, as always, just the girls hanging out on a Saturday night. This time was even more exciting since we recently found out that little Jordyn Love is going to be a BIG SISTER!!

Congrats, Stacy. So happy you're bringing another one into this world. If we're lucky, BH2 will be just like her/his big sister. With better eating habits. KIDDING, JOJO!

The Party That Almost Killed Me

2009-08-11T15:13:00.005-07:00

Remember when I wrote about going out on a Wednesday night? How it was hard? And Club Monster Katie comes out in like 2.5 drinks? Well, I decided to take another crack at it week before last. Yes, the alcohol has FINALLY worn off and I can now bring myself to tell you that Zappos sure knows how to throw one helluva party.

It's a Thursday night. Zappos is throwing their 10 year Anniversary/Vendor Appreciation/OMGAmazonJustBoughtUsLet'sCelebrate Party. The agency I work out is just buzzing about it while wristbands were floating around. I had already planned on going since my friend Chris was going to be in town and if we're not karaokeing (but we, I mean he) then we are drinking. Somewhere. A lot. And then I got my little hands on a few wristbands and then I called Anika and now we're really going at this full force. On a Thursday.

Anika and I arrive at Encore. I've never been here before. It's red. We get up to XS and walk in the party. Right off the bat, you can tell that just as Zappos handles business and customer service skills, they take their partying just as seriously. This is a million dollar party. There are giant hamster like balls in the pool that FOLKS, that's people just like you and me, are floating around in. PEOPLE ARE WALKING ON WATER (or at least attempting to).

I can't believe my eyes, get me a drink.

Well, kids, this is where the night went wrong. Anika and I go to the center bar at the pool. This is an OPEN BAR OF ANYTHING YOUR LITTLE ALCOHOLIC SELF CAN DREAM OF. We arrived to the party at approx. 10:15 p.m. I did not get to order my drink until 10:56 p.m. so you can imagine, when I did finally get the opportunity, that I was like "Um, can I get a jagerbomb (Jersey!) and two mojitos FOR MYSELF, thanks!" Anika substituted those mojitos for champagne and before I know it we're here.
Yes, that is Chris' head looking like it exploded in to a ray of glorious club lights.
The next day, I got to work and puked. Two days later I came down with bronchitis because I think my body shut down from trying to process the leftover alcohol.

An Update from PA

2009-08-09T12:34:00.005-07:00

Hello my loves. My apologies for my absence, I'm sure you've all been so concerned. Or not.

Either way, I was near death last week with a wicked case of bronchitis and then took off to visit Beppee (aka the g'ma) with Pep on Thursday and (this might surprise you), there was no Internet there.

I'm waiting to board a plane right now to head back west but some upcoming posts (my goal is to get them all up this week) include:

Those Zappos People Sure Can Throw a Party
Jordyn Love: Life at 18 Months
Pep and Kate Go to Pittsburgh

Lots of photos and lots of things to say so stay tuned :)

A Photo Shoot With Sir Gordon & The Pillows Pep Made Me

2009-07-28T16:40:00.002-07:00

I found this fabric at JoAnn's when I was looking for something to protect my sling for my broke-ass arm back after my very serious* injury in March. I fell in love with it immediately and turned to my mom like 'What kind of magic can you work with this?'

3 months later, I received these lovely pillows.

I was SO excited that I wanted to post them on HSCOOC so I needed to take photos. My dog is quite the HAM (not sure if you're aware) and I just can't resist his face so here I am to share it with you. Thanks, Pep for the pillows. Gord hasn't even picked one up in his mouth yet so he either really likes them or thinks they're too girly for his taste.

*not very serious at all, really.

Taste Tester

2009-07-27T16:36:00.003-07:00

Have you known me for very long? If so, how many foods have you witnessed me trying for the first time? How many did I like? If you have not known me very long (or at all), please read this to have a better understanding of this post.

Now, be prepared to have your mind BLOWN.

I went to dinner at PF Changs last night for SSFS. Some of my girls were there to eat, some were there just to witness (Lobo). I didn't overthink it, I just went in and looked at the menu without reading the small print and went to town.

I tried not one, not two, not three but FOUR new things last night.

Chicken Lettuce Wraps...I'd heard the hype, and am now a believer. Pretty delicious.

Crispy Honey Shrimp....delicious.

Chang's Spicy Chicken....definitely my favorite of the evening

And Double Pan Fried Noodles with Vegetables....not my favorite but hey, 3 out of 4 ain't bad.

I've come a long way but no, I am still not interested in trying a bite of your hamburger. Thanks, though.

PB&J

2009-07-24T15:18:00.004-07:00

I made PB&Js for a date last night and I wanted to share this with you because I think everyone should know how to make a proper PB&J and let me just tell you, I make a KILLER PB&J.

This really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone but I take this very seriously. It's pretty much an art form in my world. So next time you have a craving for a PB&J, I want you to follow this recipe, OK? It's pretty life changing. You'll be thinking, "did my mother not love me enough because my sandwiches were never this good as a child."

Ok, here goes:

Bread = Wonder Whole Wheat White (so much for my Aunt Karen's 'the whiter the bread, the sooner you're dead' theory!)

Peanut Butter = Skippy Honey Roasted Nut (it's a smooth, not a chunky)

And last but certainly not least, Jelly = Smucker's Strawberry Preserves.

You can thank me later.

Let Me Tell You About Going Out On A Wednesday Night

2009-07-23T16:38:00.003-07:00

It is hard. I know from the photo above, we make it look so easy.

You're sitting at home, you've already done your normal after-work routine (i.e. feed and walk the dog, make dinner, watch SYTYCD while laid up on the couch) and then all of a sudden you have to GO PUT A DRESS ON and touch up your make-up when usually in about an hour, you'd be hitting the sack.

How do I get myself into these situations? You see, working in the very glamorous (see: NOT) world of PR, you get invites to any and every event ever. You can imagine that in Vegas, this means there is always something going on. Well I got an invite from Las Vegas Magazine about two weeks ago about this Singles Event at LAX. See, hosted bar = sold. So I sent the invite to Anika asking if she wanted to be my date and of course, she was on board.

Then all of a sudden, July 22 rolls around and the last thing I want to do is get all dolled up to go out way past my bedtime on a Wednesday night. BUT we did it. We pre-partied with Gordon at my place and then headed down to The Strip. We get to the Luxor, after almost getting lost because who the f goes to the Luxor, and of course, there is a CRAZY line outside of LAX. It takes Anika and I like 15 minutes to figure out how to by-pass the line. We eventually do and walk into the club. But, oh wait, IT ISN'T EVEN OPEN YET. Here I am, at 10:40 p.m. ready to pass out and a place hasn't even opened it's doors for the evening yet. Luckily, Noir Bar dropped its exclusivity and we were welcomed inside. This bar is actually really swanky and cool, it's got a great vibe to it, all tucked away. So we get our first free drink HOLY CRAP THIS IS SO STRONG and before I know it, we're rapping along to Wyclef Jean sitting in our plush leather chairs and I'm saying "DO YOU WANT TO GO DANCE????"

Yeah, here I am, Club Monster Katie, out on a Wednesday night doing JT's version of The Single Ladies dance without a care in the world.

Funny how it comes back so easily.

Today was rough though, stopped at Sbux and added shot. 'Cause yeah, the evening was like that.

B.F.F.s

2009-07-20T14:39:00.002-07:00

Now, when I say B.F.F.s that is according to Sir Gordon Snacks A Lot. Allie (black lab) and Darby (golden) would want me to make this perfectly clear.

Gordon looks up to them like they are the Prom King and Head Cheerleader of his high school. Like THEY would have backstage passes to The Jonas Brothers because they are just that cool.

Darb and Allie, on the other hand, view Gordon like he is...well a huge fan of the Jonas Brothers, wears a Sock Monkey collar, looks like a teddy bear and insists on biting their ears and pulling their back leg when they are trying to run away from him. Oh and that he has a ridiculous hair-cut. But it's growing out, guys so cut him some slack.

The 21st Century

2009-07-16T19:48:00.003-07:00

Welcome to the future.

I am officially connected to the World Wide Web from my house. Want to know the best part? I am not even sitting outside in the 108 degree heat stealing the internet from the Buffalo Wild Wings across the street. No, I am sitting in my air-conditioned condo, with a panting dog and a blue-eyed cat typing on my Macbook. (I'm typing on the Macbook, not the blue-eyed cat.) This whole high speed internet thing is blowing my mind. What will they come up with next?!?

I know, I KNOW! So exciting. I don't even know what to follow this up with. I feel like I should just keep writing because I CAN.

What else can I tell you? It's hot. Real hot. I am very excited for this weekend, mostly because it's the first weekend in a loooonnnggg time that I don't have any set set plans. The only thing I know is I have FFFT (F*ing Fun Friday Times) with Miss Anika Jones tomorrow to kick off the weekend, I may have a hair appointment on Saturday, hang with Pep on Sunday, gotta go grocery shopping, gotta get to Target and I'll probably try to catch a movie. Does that sound like a lot of plans to you? Because for me, that is nothing.

But that doesn't mean it won't be a whole lot of F-U-N.

Knochers....signing off....from HOME :)

6 of None or One of the Other

2009-07-14T14:34:00.003-07:00

So you know that saying that goes something along the lines of Six of One or Half a Dozen....whatever whatever....yeah, I can't ever get it right but for whatever reason I insist on using it ALL THE TIME.

It always just seems to fit but then doesn't fit at all because I end up totally screwing it up. Why can't I just say "Either way" or "50/50"? No, I try to use the egg one every time and end up saying stuff like this:

Six Of One or None of Another

Six of One or Another of Another

One of the Six or One of the Other

Six of None or One of the Other

Six of a Ton and Lots of the Other

Do you see what I'm getting at here? So if you ever happen to give me two options that are pretty much the same and won't really make a difference to me either way, just be prepared for one of the above responses.

And good luck trying to correct me. What's it matter anyway? It's All of One or Half of the Other, anyway ;)