HERE'S WHERE JACK SHAMAMA REMEMBERS THE THINGS THAT HAVE PASSED IN HIS LIFE

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52054052009-06-01T02:41:50.884-07:00HERE'S WHERE JACK SHAMAMA REMEMBERS THE THINGS THAT HAVE PASSED IN HIS LIFEOFFICIAL BLOG™ OF JACK SHAMAMA™Fauxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13845910010123379745noreply@blogger.comBlogger418125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-63487058905369304192009-06-01T02:41:00.001-07:002009-06-01T02:41:44.929-07:00

WHAT DO RICH PEOPLE DO WITH PENNIES?

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-4063990078349609182009-05-21T11:30:00.000-07:002009-05-21T11:47:01.699-07:00

MY NEW TOOTHBRUSH PROMISED WHITE TEETH IN 28 DAYS. AFTER JUST TWO WEEKS THREE PEOPLE COMPLIMENTED ME ON HOW WHITE MY TEETH WERE. AND I STILL HAVE TWO WEEKS TO GO. I WOULD SAY THE NAME OF THE TOOTH BRUSH BUT SINCE THEY ARE NOT PAYING ME, LET ME JUST SAY THIS: IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A TOOTHBRUSH THAT WHITENS YOUR TEETH: IT IS OUT THERE.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-66456398599817314662009-05-16T02:20:00.001-07:002009-05-16T02:54:13.345-07:00

I'M HAVING A POT RENAISSANCE AND THE ONLY THING I COULD TRULY HOPE TO COME OUT OF IT IS MY LONG-STANDING GOAL OF WRITING ONE GOOD ONE-SENTENCE ENTRY A DAY FOR ONE MONTH (WITHOUT GOING BACK AND CHANGING THE DATES AROUND. SO FAR SO BAD.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-19254693952664298822009-05-13T19:03:00.000-07:002009-05-13T19:07:13.341-07:00

HERE'S ONE OF THE STRANGEST THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN THE LAST YEAR: UPON RETURNING TO MY GYM AFTER BEING ABROAD FOR SIX MONTHS, THE LOCKER ROOM ATTENDANT HANDED ME THE KEY TO LOCKER #27 -- MY USUAL. IN ADDITION TO BEING REMARKABLE THAT HE REMEMBERED MY LOCKER, HE MADE ABSOLUTELY NO ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF THE FACT THAT I WAS GONE. IT WAS BUSINESS AS USUAL.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-65316767808051970912009-05-06T12:57:00.000-07:002009-05-06T12:58:24.081-07:00

MORE DEPRESSING THAN EVERYONE GETTING OLD IS THAT EVERYONE IS GETTING MIDDLE-AGED. AND FAT. FML. KMN.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-48276430797548396312009-04-28T02:16:00.000-07:002009-04-28T02:18:58.947-07:00

WE HATE IT WHEN OUR FRIENDS BECOME SUCCESSFUL. ALSO, IT MAKES US A LITTLE BIT CRAZY.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-91422427703863464312009-04-23T00:26:00.000-07:002009-04-23T00:36:03.863-07:00

A CONDOM IS THE OPPOSITE OF A PAT OF BUTTER.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-27777080191052003442009-04-04T03:44:00.001-07:002009-04-04T03:44:52.377-07:00

TWEETS REJECTED BY TWITTER:happy diarrhea came, sad vicodin didn't

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-66762351185798136782009-03-11T04:32:00.001-07:002009-03-11T04:32:29.019-07:00

SOMETIMES I PUT THE WRONG KEY INTO THE LOCK JUST TO PROVE THAT I'M NOT DREAMING.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-89544436503824708682008-12-29T18:41:00.001-08:002008-12-29T18:41:52.140-08:00

FUCK YOU AND YOUR RISD MYSTIQUE.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-78264274572077310082008-08-20T19:07:00.000-07:002008-08-20T19:08:22.553-07:00

DEAR FRENCH T.V.,ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?WARMLY,JACK SHAMAMA

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-28433313832669772212008-08-20T19:03:00.001-07:002008-08-21T19:56:41.803-07:00

MY FAVORITE THING IS ONLINE LURNING. WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHAT I DID TODAY I CAN SAY, "I FINISHED MY CLASS ON [REDACTED FOR PRIVACY REASONS]." THEY DON'T NEED TO KNOW I DIDN'T GET OUT OF BED.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-58524204615435959072008-08-05T08:47:00.000-07:002008-08-05T09:32:16.825-07:00

AT THIS POINT IN TIME, I AM ENJOYING SOME PISTACHIOS WHICH I JUST NOTICED HAPPEN TO BE FROM IRAN. THEY ARE PERFECTLY SALTED AND GRILLED, EARTHIER AND RICHER THAN THE PISTACHIOS I USUALLY ENJOY FROM MONOPRIX, AND AT 3€50 FOR A 500 GRAMS, THEY'RE LESS THAN ONE-THIRD THE PRICE. SOMEHOW THIS FEELS SUBVERSIVE.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-43433009125750044812008-08-04T10:33:00.000-07:002008-08-05T10:34:27.284-07:00

I MISS MY CREDENZA, MY CHAIRS. MY IRRELEVANT PLASTIC KNICKKNACKS AND EPHEMERA.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-42340223600797575382008-08-03T17:10:00.000-07:002008-08-03T17:14:43.104-07:00

THE HARDEST THING ABOUT LIVING IN FRANCE FOR ME IS THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE TO PRESS THE "+ CHANNEL" BUTTON TO TURN ON THE TV.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-41535733323600448952008-08-01T09:41:00.001-07:002008-08-01T09:42:34.250-07:00

IF GIVEN THE CHOICE BETWEEN A BLOWJOB OR HAVING MY BACK TICKLED FOR TEN MINUTES, I'D CHOSE THE BACK-TICKLE, AS IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TICKLE YOURSELF, BUT YOU CAN JERK OFF.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-7090619733438161742008-06-22T12:19:00.000-07:002008-06-22T12:20:19.962-07:00

IS IT ME OR DOES IT NEVER FEEL LIKE A FRIDAY ANYMORE, EVEN WHEN IT'S FRIDAY?

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-86087894069918646632008-06-20T16:44:00.000-07:002008-06-22T16:44:48.055-07:00

A COMFORTABLE BED CAN BE A GREAT LUXURY OR A PRISON.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-30381472102574117912008-05-24T11:31:00.001-07:002008-05-24T11:36:00.440-07:00

THE MOST AMAZING THING ABOUT FRANCE IS THIS:REGULAR OLD HARIBO GOLD BEARS (OURS D'OR) COME WITH A PINK-COLORED ROSE-FLAVORED BEAR NOT FOUND IN THE US. THEY ARE AS DELICIOUS AS THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL. I WISH YOU COULD BE EATING SOME HERE WITH ME, DEAR READER.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-62921313569628363922008-05-18T13:08:00.001-07:002008-05-18T13:08:42.830-07:00

I'LL WORK ON MY ABS WHEN I'M DEAD.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-78551517244024135102008-05-06T16:51:00.000-07:002008-05-06T16:54:43.013-07:00

OK, FOLKS, HERE'S "THE REAL SECRET": MOST PEOPLE WORK TO MAKE MONEY SO THAT YOU CAN BUY THINGS BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY'LL MAKE THEM HAPPY. BUT IF YOU DON'T WORK, YOU WILL BE HAPPY SO IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD STUFF IN THE FIRST PLACE.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-42187408614315669922008-04-28T08:25:00.000-07:002008-04-28T08:28:53.122-07:00

IF GOD IS SO ALL-POWERFUL THEN WHY DOES HE MAKE MEALY APPLES?

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-17164633602893888682008-04-15T05:19:00.000-07:002008-04-15T05:21:56.459-07:00

FILE UNDER: FRENCH ARE RETARDEDTHEY ACTUALLY SAY, "ENCHANTÉ" WHEN THEY MEET YOU.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-15964542990091761652008-03-26T22:58:00.000-07:002008-03-26T22:59:00.391-07:00

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5205405.post-67659385858180963152008-03-24T00:48:00.001-07:002008-03-24T00:49:06.097-07:00

WATCHING THE FOOD NETWORK ON SUNDAY: BORING BUT DEPENDABLY COMFORTING.

J. Shamamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651266721624536214jack@fauxjob.com