Nirakaar

Traveling commandos_

2009-11-06T20:02:00.005+05:30

   Jam packed in the back seat of a Tavera, with no place to move for yourself but an ample amount of space for it to move... It was obvious for me to get conscious! More because of the reason that every other person except for the driver was bound to travel all commandos for another 47 kms... And as far as i know, every other person was thinking about the same! I could sense this from the silence and the kind of weird smile on every individual's face. 

   The tragedy was the sand from the "Abhrot beach - Surat" had seeped into the inner wears of all 7 of us and we had to wait for reinforcement. 

   Another tension was the tension building due to the first call of nature... And boys know this very well when you are in such a situation and it has an ample space for itself to hang around at places what are the consequences! and on top of it our driver sahib would never understand what great a deal it is to hold on to the leakage when you are driving like this. He to was busy showing off his boiled Punjabi blood! And when a Punjabi drives on the roads of Gujarat where already there are no driving ethics, he can burn the road or rather i should say can cut through each and every impossible cut he could find on the roads occupied with maverick "Jugaad", auto rickshaw and motorcycle drivers! 

   It was just fractions of second after i had thought that i would confess to our driver sahib about my situation and request him not to make any more cuts, a generous cycle driver who was according to me teaching his younger brother seated on the carrier at the back of his cycle the skills of riding on the streets of Gujarat said aloud on a busy crossing, "Jo darr gaya, samjho marr gaya" and our driver sahib with his arch ears, listened to him and gave him the confirmation with the drop of a hat! "Haan, jo darr gaya, samjho marr gaya !!!" 

Now there was no stopping him! 

And i thought to myself, 

"Anmol, jo darr gaya, samjho marr gaya", "cheer up yaar, you are TRAVELING COMMANDOS, and you are not alone" 

"control Anmol control"...

प्रीत

2009-10-04T00:01:00.002+05:30

प्रीत करियो तो ऐसी करियो,
जैसी करे कपास,
जीते-जी तंन को ढाके,
मारे ना छोड़े साथ...

प्रेम

2009-10-03T23:59:00.002+05:30

प्रेम प्रेम हर कोए कहे,
प्रेम ना जाने कोए,
आठ पहर बहता रहे,
वही कहवे प्रेम...

Joker

2009-10-03T16:52:00.004+05:30

Somehow sometimes I feel like a Joker of the circus... Who has no option but to smile!
What great Job has a joker to do to keep everyone else happy but himself...
Not boasting of the greatness of his job but a pity...
Why should he go out on the stage and laugh when he's not the same person what he is inside...

I may not find the right words to express what i feel at this point of time! I'm sorry for that.

What i wanna say is, there isn't always a happy man behind the happy face!!!
he's just another human being, wanting decent relationships with least complications...
wanting the space to cry... craving for the happiness he used to feel as a kid...
not hanging between the decisions of the others!!! he wants the clarity in life!!!

I at least want this...
I don't know if I'm comparing myself to the joker or vice-versa... but i can not carry a fake smile on my face!!!

खेल

2009-09-28T14:04:00.002+05:30

चार जना मिली तुम्ही उठाया,
विमान बनाया लकड़ी का|

नीचे लकड़ी, ऊपर लकड़ी,
चिता सजाया लकड़ी का|

होरी जैसे फूँक दियो फ़िर,
टुकड़ा डाला लकड़ी का|

कहत कबीर सुनो भई साधो,
खेल बना सब लकड़ी का...
खेल बना सब लकड़ी का|

just couldn't resist posting these lines...

tired...

2009-09-05T22:17:00.004+05:30

tired of the pain...
tired of being starved...
tired of the thirst...
tired of the mood "not to eat something"...
tired of the feeling of love inside me...
tired of the faking "I do not miss people!!!"
tired of stopping myself from committing "I love people"...
tired of the happiness without any reason...
tired of talking...
tired of questions...
tired of listening...
tired of friendly abuses...
tired of planning...
tired of the excitement...
tired of phone...
tired of planning and not executing...
tired of expecting messages...
tired of trying to write and finally not writing...
tired of trying to read and finally not reading...
tired of the commitments (made and not made)...
tired of wanting to talk and not being able to talk...
tired of stopping myself to call...
tired of not being able to watch movies at night...
tired of not being able to speak out my heart, cuz of the mind games...
tired of playing the mind games...
tired of thinking...
tired of looking at the phone...
tired of expecting calls...
tired of great expectations...
tired of not running...
tired of trying to sit straight...
tired of the noise from the fan cutting the air...
tired of the noise...
tired of speaking in low volumes on phone...
tired of the slow computer...
tired of the people calling me out...
tired of writing what more I'm tired of...

tired...

A Friend for a Birthday!!!

2009-08-27T00:33:00.002+05:30

14th of Jan 2009...

I guess, was destined...!
I heard about a complete stranger...
Talked about a complete stranger...
Phoned a complete stranger...

Talked to a complete stranger...
Met an acquaintance...
and Made a Friend!!!

I guess for Life Time!!!

some random Nostalgic places_

2009-05-13T19:44:00.006+05:30

The Ring Road,
South Extension 1
South Extension 2
Indian Habitat Center
Parnami Orthopaedic Hospital,
Ching Wah,
Delhi Haat,
India Gate,
Andhra Bhavan,
Ansal Plaza,
Jindal House,
The GT Karnal Road - NH 1,
Shree Krishna Temple, Karnal
Karnal Lake,
Kamla Nagar Market,
Feroz Shah Kotla Stadium,
Times House, Bahadur Shah Zafar Marg,
IGNOU,
Ber Sarai,
Garden of 5 Senses
Bittoo Tikki Wala, NSP,
Bittoo Tikki Wala, Pitam Pura,
Bangla Sahib Gurudwara,
Okhla Church,
ISCKON Temple,
Bahai Temple,
Jan Path,
Dragon Hucks,
Model Town Lake,
Hauz Khaz,
Deer Park,
Red Fort,
Dariah Ganj,
Old Delhi Rly Station,
New Delhi Rly Station.
Kanpur Rly Station,
Central Market,
Lajpat Nagar,
Shalimar Bagh,
Defence Colony:
Moti Mahal,
Angels in My Kitchen,
Sagar Ratna,
Chanakya Cinema Hall,
PVR Priya,
PVR Plaza,
PVR Revoli
Saket,
Liberty,
M2K Rohini,
M2K Pitam Pura,
Ever Bake Bakery, Shalimar Bagh,
"Sindhi Faluda Kulfi Wala", AC Block, Shalimar Bagh,
Central Park, CP,
Slice of Italy,
Siri Fort Auditorium,
Suraj Kund Mela,
Railway Museum,
The Nehru Planetarium,
Brittania Industry, near Lawrence Rd Crossing, Ring Road,
Netaji Subhash Place Metro Station,
CP Metro Station,
HDFC Bank, South Ex 2,
ICICI Bank, South EX 2,
Adarsh Nagar Market,
Vishal Cinema, Rajori Grden,
TDI Mall, Rajori Grden,
Waves Cinema, Noida,
Waves Cinema, Rajori Garden,
Picadly Punjab, Rajori Garden,
The Great India Mall, Noida,
times internet limited, I world tower DLF city,phase 5, Opp DLD golf course, gurgaon,
Some Mall in Gurgaon,
Nizammuddin Rly Station, including Come-Sum,
The Roads of Delhi.............
the Days & Nights in Delhi,

a letter to THE ALMIGHTY_

2008-09-06T20:11:00.009+05:30

Its so amazing that how all the cues suddenly fall in their rightful places...
how we suddenly get the courage and the patience to go a very long way...
how we just find a solution to a problem which has been bothering us for so so long...

it's so amazing, how YOU actually make us realize that yes, YOU are there for us - not for a second, not for a minute, not for that moment...
but for aaalllll the time to come...
what is required is, just to change the way we think...

its actually spectacular how YOU make us believe that YOU exist...
how at the very moment when we give up, loose all our hopes, YOU just pull us back in, show us the way and tell us that there is much more to come and we have a long long way to go...

I thank YOU GOD, honestly... and truly...
for being right there...
and if YOU can read my heart - which i know YOU can, what i just mean is actually much more and tonnes more than what it appears in here...
and despite whatever we say and whatever we do!!!
how much we fight with you or how many tantrums we throw at YOU...
we always cherish YOUR Presence around us...
and we would need YOU to be with us all our lives...
Please be there like Parents, like a Sibling, like a Friend, please be there with us in as many ways as you can except for a FOE...
We have always needed YOU, we need YOU now, and will need YOU in this life to come and after...
PLEASE BE THERE... always fending for us like your own cubs...
and please forgive us for the sins we have committed...
we might gain the experiences in this material world...
but will never be perfect...
We LOVE YOU

THANK YOU GOD...
THANK YOU!!!

The kid's choice...

2008-07-21T05:01:00.009+05:30

why is it that we are not terrified on a well lit street at nights?
why is it that we are not scared in the alley where there is a heavy foot fall?
why is it that when we know that there is a person in the room just next to ours, we are not afraid of the dark?
why does the group of fishermen keep on making noises when in a jungle...?
so that they know that there is someone besides them and so that they are not afraid of the jungle...

why are we told stories about the dark jungles and the scary waters when we are kids???
its not for the reason that our grannies want to scare us to sleep... but its because of the fact that they want us to be aware of this world... and believe that she is always with us no matter what comes...
she wants to tell us to stay in a group, hunt in a group, and live in a group...

now its the kid's choice whether to go back and tell these stories to his friends and lighten the burden of being alone in the jungle and strengthen himself by bravely discussing the darkness or stay quiet and be alone facing the darkest of jungles and the scariest of waters...

I know, "he choses to talk about the stories..."
and shares his experiences of the dark forests and scary waters...

Change_ To what Extent?

2008-07-21T04:16:00.002+05:30

Change is always good!!!
but to what extent?

from the age old times we have been changing, transforming, towards the betterment of our kind or at least we think so!!!

we know that the craving for a change is one thing that made the human species evolve into the things we are today...

but is this change worth it?
worth the love and time we had for each other???

in the rush of coping up with life...
we become so rude and selfish...

that in a relationship of love and respect...
we have time enough for respect and not for love!!!

a transition stage changes a human being to an extent that he might no be able recognize his own face in the past...

yes we all are transforming, but to become what?
yes we all are developing, but to transform into what?
why is it that a human wants to be more human than he could ever be and while trying to do this he becomes more and more inhumane...

yes we all need our space, but to what extent?
to the extent that even the slightest vibes in the body standing close to you, irritates you to the core of your soul...
and you are terrified of your space being occupied???

trying to be independent and self sufficient, trying to be mature we push and push and push... and row a great distance only to find ourselves in completely unknown waters... and we then come to realize that there are no traces left on the water which could lead us back to the place we started!!!

call me up_

2008-07-20T02:38:00.006+05:30

oh baby...
please call me up and lemme know that you can not talk now..

oh baby...
please call me up and just lemme know that you are tired and you can not talk now...

oh baby...
just call me up and lemme know that you have to wake up early and you can not talk now...

just gimme a call...
just lemme know that you are alright...
not for the one reason that you are alright...
but for the reason that you love talking to me...
for the fact that i need to listen to you...
for the fact that i crave for you...
for the fact that i love you!!!

just call me up and lemme know anything...
and i promise i will not hold your hand and make you sit with me...
and i promise i'll not say that i wanna talk to you for 2 more minutes...

oh baby...
just call me up and lemme know that you miss me...

oh baby...
please call me up and let me know that you love me...
cuz i'm not demanding anything strange from you...
cuz its not something that you have not done before...

oh baby...
just call me up and lemme know that you want me to hug you...
not for the one reason that i'm good at it...
but for the reason that you wanna be there in my arms...
for the fact that i wanna be in your arms...
for the fact that i love you!!!

oh baby...
please call me up and lemme know, how you loved my company...

oh baby...
please call me up and lemme know that you wanna spend more and more time with me...
not for the one reason that you loved watching movies with me...
but for the reason that you loved spending time with me...
for the fact that i loved spending time with you...
for the fact that you were you when you were with me...
for the fact that i love you!!!

oh baby...
please don't call me up to lemme know that "i wanted you to call me up"...
but for the fact that you wanted to call me up...
for the reason that you love me...

oh baby...
Don't Just Call Me Up...
But - Call Me Up...

Waiting for the night to fall...

2008-07-20T01:39:00.007+05:30

All day he would think of her,
and wait for the Night to Fall...

All day he would find words to say,
and wait for the Night to fall...

All day he would look at the watch,
and wait for the night to fall...

just because he thinks the night would bring along,
a few minutes that would allow him to share his 24 hours with her...
and would allow him to know about the 24 hours of her...
those few minutes which would bind the same 24 hours spent at different places in different ways by the two!!!

every day he would do the same...
and every night he would wait to listen to her voice...

every night he would call,
and every night his heart would pound as it did on his first date...

but for those nights when he would not listen to her, he would be dazzled...
he would fight within himself for not being able to talk to her...

because a day without her is a day without himself...
because now he would have to wait for another night to fall...

because now there would be another 48 hours to talk about...
because now there would be a night included to talk about...

many a times he would wait for the busy tone to change into the caller tune...
and many a times he would wait for the caller tune to change into her voice...

many a times he would call and wait for her to answer back,
and many a times he would know that his call will not be answered...

but yet again he would come and check his phone,
in the expectation that she might call!!!

Today he would have to wait for another night to fall...
another 48 hours...
and he would still holds his phone...
Still Expecting an unexpected call!!!

Will you wake up now???

2008-02-27T12:51:00.008+05:30

Waking up, with a feeling of being alive when you know you have only a month or two left and something is killing you, weakening you from inside. You get out of your bed and start running towards the door... from what you don't know, from a sound... a sound of TIME, a sound from your own Wrist Watch "Tic, Tic...". You unstrap your watch and throw it away. but the sound's still haunting you,and you start running again...

But running away from something leads to a run towards something... and when you are running in a circle, The farther you run from a thing the closer you get to the same thing...

A feeling takes over you... A feeling of being pushed to a corner by someone you love, love with your blood, with the tiniest bit of bright light inside of you, whose source you could never find...

And you recognise that corner, you have been aquainted with it before. It smells of Tears, Broken Hearts, Nostalgia... its the corner from which you know you would not be able to escape this time...

Your heart beats and beats faster... tries to pump more, pants and misses a beat but beats... and runs... you are afraid and you move back, up the wall... and suddenly out of nowhere a strange person with Black robe and a Black Hat on his head appears... you are unable to make a sound... you are terrified... could do nothing but look at him... and you feel a Hand entering your chest, as clutches your heart and squeezes it, squeezes it till the last drop of blood seeps out... you feel the chill in your chest and you breathe out Fog out of your Mouth... your eyes starts to black out and a tear escapes the corner of your eye as you try to look up the face, look in the eyes of that face...

And you WAKE UP... wake up with a feeling of being alive... A guilt of being alive... and a tear escapes the corner of your eye... unable to speak, panting and sweating with a deep pain in your chest...

you look around and find no one... you are alone... you cry loud but make no sound... you advance your hand towards your phone to call someone but pull it back... you do not make that call...

you pray that the person you were about to call is fine and is sleeping tight... you pray that the person does not take much time and returns before its too late, before the time after you could never return... you pray that the person saves you... you desperately want that person to save you...

you cry, cry to death thinking "will you wake up now???"

Posting a post about Posting a post...

2008-02-22T13:53:00.003+05:30

The title in itself is so convoluted, I can bet the job is equally good or baad or whatever… at least for me!!! As some of you would have understood, the job I’m talking about here is, “Posting a post…”

Once the laptop is picked up, something tells you to type and urges you to type and says “just start typing and rest will follow…” but the fact is the rest rests and it never follows… as soon as the very first full stop is placed at its rightful position, I don’t know how but the horses of the brain are set free of the rein they are tied to… and the fingers start wiggling the Tap Dance style on the face of the keys “tip tap, tip tap, tip tap toe, tip tap toe”. They wait for the Godfather, “Brain” to raise his eyebrow and the Key will be Executed…

But then again “what next?” is the question which arises. What is it that should be written…? A mind working on a subject suddenly starts thinking about something else, and then “oh I should write about this… and this, and of course this…”, It will convolute you so much that you will start typing about something and you will come out with typing about a completely alien topic… as I did in this case…

My mind has somehow convinced me that it has been classically conditioned with the Full Stops “.”, where the full stop acts as a conditioned stimulus for my brain and makes it perceive to be free from the rein… and it can now ride horses to dark forests or fairy lands…

Sometimes I feel, what if I do not use a full stop in my writings and neither the commas, “because you never know...”, go on typing and when the job’s done, I can always punctuate the written text…

I tell you, “It’s actually a Herculean job to stop your mind from teleporting”…

Now “What Next…?”

An ALT Machine

2008-01-29T17:31:00.003+05:30

Boy: “Baby”
Girl: “Yeah…?”
Boy: “I’m Missing You”
Girl: “Tell me something I don’t know”
Boy: “I’m Missing You Like Heaven”
Girl: “I Know This”
Boy: “I Love You!!!”
Girl: “I Know, Tell Me Something Else!!!”
Boy: “Okay, Listen Carefully…”
“Somewhere in a corner of this World there exists an ALT Machine, just like an ATM…
What is “astonishing” and totally “majestic” about this Machine is that this Machine is never Empty and can never be Emptied, none can Steal the amount present in it, none can Rob the Machine, the Guard to this Machine is Blind, but knows who is accessing the Machine and he draws a line for the people and decides whether they can use the Machine or not, the doors to this Machine has a special security system, guarded by “4 valves” and only a Very Special set of People have access to this “4 valve” safety system and what is more “exclamatory” is that not all the people having access to this system know that they have the access to this system or they possess the e-card which allows them to get through…
What makes the Machine more diverse is the process of usage of the machine…
The password to access is anything which means or leads to a “4 letter specific word” around which the whole world revolves, the process to the access is so simple that people would never think of something so simple so easily.
There are only two services provided by this machine one is the withdrawal and the second is the deposit facility, there is a board besides the Machine which says “1. Mini statements are not printed here; 2.The deposited amount will be accepted only if the accessory accepts the amount returned by the machine in favor of the amount deposited. 3. No Balance Inquiries are entertained here.” They cannot check their balance amount because each time they swap their card there is a transaction made and their account is Debited [and not credited] with the amount they have Received and the catch is, each time they access this Machine the amount they Actually Receive is tones more than they ask for, so their accounts are rather filled every time with tones more and not emptied, the more the usage of the account the richer the person gets…”

[There is a Silence]

Girl: “Who is the Service Provider…?”
Boy: “A Simple Person…”
Girl: “What does he do? From where does he generate such income?”
Boy: “It’s his Wealth”
Girl: “Is he not afraid of losing/spending his Wealth like this?”
Boy: “No, He’s only afraid of losing the Accessories of this Machine… He does not want to lose them…”

Girl: “Is this Guy Mad?”
Boy: “No, He’s not”
Girl: “It does not seem to be, who’s this Guy?”
Boy: “On one condition…”
Girl: “What?”
Boy: “You won’t reveal this to anyone…”
Girl: “Promise…”
Boy: “It’s Me…”
Girl: “Rubbish!!!”
“Then wha…”

Boy: “None can Rob or Steal the amount because it’s LOVE…, The Guard and the “4 Valve” Safety System is my heart…, The e-card is the accessories’ heart…, The password can be anything which shows or leads to a “4 Letter Specific Word” “LOVE”, around which the whole World revolves… The simple process is Showing Love in any way may it be… the two services are 1. My set of very special people loving me [Deposit]. 2. I loving them [Withdrawal]… I cannot account their love neither can I account my love for them so Mini Statements cannot be printed… I reciprocate love with love… The balance of love can never be accounted…”

[Silence again…]

Girl: “So the more the person uses his/her account the richer he/she gets with your love…”

Boy: “yah…”
Girl: “Baby…”
Boy: “Hmmm…?”
Girl: “I’m Missing You”
“2 Table Spoons”

Boy: [Smiles] “I Forgot to tell you one important attribute, the account holders are Paid an Interest Every Second irrespective of the usage of their account… so if some day you forget to express your love, don’t worry, I’ll still Love you and more than I loved you the Last Day, Last Minute or Last Second…”

[Silence]

Girl: “What does ALT Machine stands for?”
Boy: “Automated LOVE Teller Machine…”
Girl: [Laughs] “You are Mad…”
Boy: [Laughs]