d Lamentations

2009-08-26T00:48:00.000-05:00

teddy is died

oh my word

Empty Threats

2009-08-11T14:12:00.002-05:00

Your words are all empty,
empty threats,
empty words,
useless.

When neighbors slaughtered each other
You called it deplorable acts of genocide
When grown UN peacekeeping troops raped 10 year old girls
You called it sad and unfortunate
When a government sanctioned the systematically killing of a tribe
You called it monstrous and evil
When dictators covered their crimes in mass graves
You claimed plausible deniability
When philosophers turned scientists claimed one race to be inferior to another

You called it a theory, published books and built museums

When children feasted on dirt cakes in order to stay alive
You called it sad, unfortunate and spent 6 billion on your pets
So why would today be any different
When Burma sentenced Kyi to 18 more months of house arrest
Britain's Brown called it monstrous
France's Sarkozy said it was brutal and unjust
UN's Ban Ki-moon says the verdict is deplorable
and of course
the US drops words like contempt and unreasonable

Your words are all empty,
empty threats,
empty words,
useless.

how have the mighty fallen
fallen into the midst of the sea
how have the mighty fallen
reduced to words of mediocrity.

Dear Tim G.

2009-08-04T17:19:00.000-05:00

What are you smoking
Why are u cursing people out

Watch it
You are cool
You are calm
You are suppose to be collected oooooooooooooooooo

so yeah
no more cursing

Dear Congressman Sestak of Penny.

2009-08-04T16:58:00.002-05:00

Congressman Sestak

I think i am falling in love with you, I must admit that i have a long history with Arlen but what you are saying about not using your past Clinton affiliations to curry favor is laudable. I like the way you look and the fact that you are not trying to ride into the senate on another person name or credit.

so yeah thanks for putting the P back in Politics

see you in Pittsburgh next week

Kafo

Dear Bill Clinton

2009-08-04T16:01:00.000-05:00

Normally i am wary about seeing you in the limelight once again, your last foray was not so successful, the way you brought down your wife's campaign wasn't quite. So seeing you on CNN getting off a plane today immediately made mii pause but then again I remember the days in 1992 on the campaign trail, listening to you go against Gore for the nomination and I remember your dedication and passion.

So yeah enough of my brown nosing.
All i am saying is that thank you for taking up this humanitarian and diplomatic effort to release the two journalist held in North Korea.

Stay fit
Kafo.

Telegrams to whom it may concern

2009-07-28T03:23:00.003-05:00

Dear Sarah P.
I miss you already

Dear Prez. Obama
U are human not computer stop multi-tasking, beer+gates+cop=NOISE

Dear McCain,
i haven't heard from you in a while

Dear Rahm E,
this is a foolhardy strategy, the health speech was LAME call mii ASAP

Dear Sanford,
RESIGN

Dear Governator,
dang, you really are in over your head

Dear Sen. Sessions,
THEY DON"T NEED YOUR VOTE, so stop talking

Dear Gibbs,
your job is tough cuz your boss talks too much
keep up the good work

Dear Kyi,
I hope it all goes well this friday

Dear Zelaya,
make up your mind, in or out this is not a game of sea/shore

KAFO

Dear leaders of the republican party with dicks

2009-06-24T13:58:00.002-05:00

I CAN'T USE THE WORDS I WANT TO USE TO DESCRIBE I CAN'T

BUT LET MII SAY THIS TO EVERY SINGLE SOB REPUBLICAN LEADER THAT HAS A DICK

PLEASE KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS UNLESS SHE IS YOUR WIFE

EVEN IF YOU GO TO PLAY GOLF AND THE GUYS WANT TO GET IN THE SAUNA
KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS
EVEN IF DICK CHENEY IS NOT SURE WHO HE WANTS TO SHOOT THE PIGEON OR THE MAN
KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS
EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO GO AND YOU ARE IN THE BUSHES GET A BOTTLE
AND KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS
EVEN IF SHE IS A FRIEND OF A FRIEND KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS
EVEN IF LINDSAY LOHAN IS BEGGING YOU TO SLEEP WITH HER
KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS
even if she is the supermodel with a size 34DD bra size and a 22 inch waist
keep it in your pants
even if she a descendant of Cleopatra
please keep it in your pants

and then maybe
just maybe
our party can reclaim it's dignity
and get the american peole to trust us

i am 2 seconds away from voting for a democrat because of all this indiscretion
mercy u make mii want to scream

so yes
to Newt, Rove, Bush, idiotic mark sanford, clueless Ensign, dear Ted and all u other nonsensical men that try and represent our party

keep it
in your
freaking pants

i really need to study now

a pissed off kafo

Dear Republican Party

2009-05-29T14:46:00.002-05:00

Dear Republican Party,

I was born a republican, because of scum bags like this i used to love my party but it seems that you are all full of shit. FOR REAL.

Today I turned on the TV and of course once again the party that I love decided that it would be a cool idea to hate against the Hispanics. For real people, do you really think that you will continue to be a majority party if you isolate the biggest and fastest growing minority.

We need to focus on things that matter, like this crazy dude who has 20 kids, we need to focus on small government and the national debt and fiscal responsibility. But instead we are calling civil rights groups KKK look alikes and Hispanic judges racist. I wish that it was just that nonsensical Rush but now we have Newt and Tancredo talking crap.

Okay let me try and make sense. watch the video below idiots and then sit down get a couple of cigars and strategize a way to reform and reclaim our party without calling other people names.

ticked off and trying not to scream
Kafoed

Dear Colin Powell

2009-05-25T11:59:00.002-05:00

Dear Colin,

How long has it been, one could say that the last couple of years have set us on divergent paths but we still always have those first years to look back on. When Rush and Dick started mud slinging I wasn't sure how you would respond. I didn't know if you were going to ignore their jabs or if you would take their bait. I have to admit that I was hoping for the former but your recent comments of yesterday dashed my hopes.

Colin, why do you have to take bait. You do not have to defend your stance, your record serves as vindication enough. You don't need to tell us what we already know and explain the problems that we are well acquainted with.

I'm not sure if you breaking the silence helps your case or the party.
I don't know

I hope this memorial day is going well with you

Kafoed

2009-05-25T11:43:00.002-05:00

I normally don't write letters or telegrams or send post it notes to foreign head of states but the latest actions of Ahmadinejad and Yang have mii rethinking this agreement I made with the various nations.

In order to keep my head on my neck and to avoid contributing to the brewing hostilities between the nations I have held my peace

but now.....
Mahmoud is talking about not blocing facebook
and
Kim testing a nuclear missile

hmmm

i wonder oooo

Dear Nancy Pelosi,

2009-05-20T16:01:00.002-05:00

Dear Nancy,
I have no idea what is going on, i must admit that the actions of the last couple of weeks has baffled me. All i will say is this
clean up your junk so that you don't screw up my midterm elections

if i lose seats in the house because of this nonsense i will hold you responsible

Kafo

Dear Rush Limbaugh

2009-05-20T13:56:00.003-05:00

Dear Rush,

Who elected you?
Who nominated you?
Who choose you?
Who made you the head of our party?
seriously, you are saying that you are resigning from being the head of the republican party who made you the freaking leader
what are you smoking and how can i get some to sell to pay down my credit card debt
for real
you are not and have never been the head of the republican party so please get off your behind
and shut up

i am not going to go on
but then again maybe you resigning from your fictious leadership position will shut you up.
so please resign from your dream job.

Kafoed

Dear Prez,

2009-05-12T18:16:00.001-05:00

I do not appreciate your handling of the New York photoshoot flyover crisis. I understand that you have been fooled into thinking that you are a celebrity but that doesn't help your situation. These are serious times that deserve serious people and so think before you hire people so that you won't have to have to accept their resignations.

I really need you to tell Rahm to give mii a call we have some issues that need to be ironed out before the floor vote next week.

Kafo

Dear Mike,

2009-05-11T18:19:00.002-05:00

I use your nickname from our days at so as to appeal to your saner side. I previously sent a telegram in which I basically told you that this will be the last of our communication but your actions have one again caused me grief and so I HAVE to speak out and try and give you some advice you so desperately need.

WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING,
I understand that your cousin's brother's sister's niece's baby's daddy works for the Colombian Drug Cartel but that doesn't mean that you have to smoke the junk they are selling. You seem to have forgotten what you job is so let mii remind you. Your job is to unite the party and to play party elder to the local political squabbles between it's members. It is not your job to pick fights or play favorites or to air our dirty laundry.

Honestly
It is not your job to air our dirty laundry. I thought you understood this so imagine my surprise when Mitt calls me this morning to rage about your latest attack against him. I had just calmed down the Religious Right on the comments you made last month about abortion and now you are trying to cast doubt at our possible frontrunner for the 2012 presidential elections.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING

so please stop smoking junk and talking out the side of your mouth.
don't talk, don't say anything to anyone, even your wife, until you have gotten control of your mind.

Kafoed

Dear Dick,

2009-05-11T18:13:00.004-05:00

I have repeatedly asked you to refrain from talking in public places but for some reason you have chosen to ignore my request. The wise book of the good book says that even a fool is thought to be wise when they shut up and it is for this reason that i advised you to keep quiet so that your reputation might be salvaged.

What do you think it says about you to say you choose Rush Limbaugh over Colin Powell? I refuse to engage in the fallout to your words and its effect on our party

You insist to resist my advise and so I must take a harsher course of action in order to get thru to you. You know of what and who I speak, he will be contacting you in the next couple of minutes and don't try to hit the ignore button or he will make the 19 hour trip and will be there in person.

Kafo

To All Those It Involves

2009-04-28T13:52:00.002-05:00

Dear Arlen,
I applaud your actions and your decisions, I am very sure that move was not an easy decision and you will have to prove to your constituents that you did not betray them but I really am encouraged by your ability to think outside the box and go on principle and not on party politics.

Dear Micheal Steele,
I try and avoid any correspondence with you because your IQ is so far down on the totem pole that you are a disgrace to my former party. After over close to thirty years of serving in the Senate you think that you can gain a few points by besmirching the character of Senator Specter. Please grow a brain or pray for one, this is a time to shut up not to throw a few stones at a departing collegue what is it about the republican party that you have to make it seem like a personal affront. I don't call the Dems publicily eviserating Liebermann.

Dear Obama,
Not a bad ending to your 100 days, don't dwell too much on this Specter thing i need you to focus on fixing the terror CIA mess. Stop this terror nonsense thing oooh. You are now putting everyone record at jeopardy including those who are in the front lines fighting

Dear Feinstein,
Watch what you say and recall, do not say what you recall cuz it might come back to bit you

Dear Cheney
Shut up or go hunting either way i dont care

Dear GW Bush
Thank you for keeping a low profile, you remind mii of the man i voted for 8 years ago, I know you did what you thought was the best for your country and will not spend time trying to derail another president just for kicks. Thank you

Dear O. Snowe,
You are one of two moderate Republicans left are you going to desert my former party also.

Kafo

Facebook

2009-04-23T16:43:00.000-05:00

I wonder what his choice will be?

Dear Democrats

2009-04-23T15:26:00.000-05:00

I'll make this short
Find your voice cuz your lead in the polls is slipping

Dear Ron Paul

2009-04-22T15:17:00.000-05:00

Stop smoking pot, i didn't like you when you tried to garner our party's nomination and I still can't stand your whiny comments now.

SUCCESSION IS AMERICAN

are you freaking kidding mii???

So if when Bush and his cronies decided to go war with Iraq and New York or Cali decided to secede from the Union would you have stilled called it american?

I understand that y'all must fight for as lil' limelight as you can get but STILL saying that succession is american because of how the us was created is as credible as saying that modern day slavery in the US is american because slaves built the White House.

disgustingly contemplating the 43 cents it will cost to post this note
kafo

Dear John McCain

2009-04-21T15:09:00.003-05:00

I know you are trying to stay on top of the game and in front of the pack, i know the news of the war brewing within your own party has not made your life easy and your daughter's inability to shut up must cause you grief. I know and you know that tomorrow Simcox is annoucing his bid to take your senate seat and i am very sure that you are trying your hardest to keep relevant.

Your support of illegal immigration, or should i say your support for amnesty has made your life pretty hard but do you really think that you will endear yourself to centrists and republicans be asking the Prez to apologize for a study done by Homeland Security.

I know you and Napolitano didn't really get along in the past but i really don't know if turing veterans against your commander in chief is the way to go. I know what the report said and so did you so why are you trying so hard to make a mountain out of a molehill

My advice:
Pace yourself
Choose your battles wisely
and at least for the next two months
SHUT UP

always loyally yours
Kafo

Dear Republican Congressmen/women, governors, senators and party leaders

2009-04-20T18:29:00.004-05:00

I tried to avoid writing this letter, I tried to have hope but reality forces me to break my silence.

I am trying to find a way to say this as nice as possible but I don't think that will be possible because it will prove ineffective. I really have tried to be patient with you but it seems like each day you stoop to new lows as you try and salvage what is left of MY party.

Yes, that is right, this party does not belong to you, it belongs to the people but over the last 20 years you have decided to make it about you and your egos and your daddy issues and have in the process KILLED MY PARTY.

Yes, you killed my party, first of all you invited the special interests will their billions and sold our votes to the highest bidder. Then to deal with all the personal sins in your life and to try and appease God (because of your greed), you allowed the religious NUTS to come in and condemn the rest of the world. Do you really think that we did not realize that while you were all mad at the Blowjob Prez you were all quietly getting divorced and increasing your personal wealth, and then to add insult to injury you decided to go a lil' lower beneath the belt and use the fear card. OH MY WORD, i never thought i would see the day that the party which gave us Abe would cower and use fear to enslave their citizens and steal their rights.

Now i have to admit that you didn't do it on your own, we gave you the power by acting like dumb sheep who had no problem being led to the slaughter by you ambitious, greedy people. You are still playing the fear card but now you are lacing it with deciet and trying to rewrite history. This new tea bag junk that you have going on, this whole Palinaztion of the republican party and the reemergence of Newt to the national stage would almost be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

I guess what gets mii the most is that i used to be a member, a follower of your ideals and beliefs but now that i see your real motives, i'm retiring. Normally i would offer advice on how to fix this mess and draw on all my years of experience but the demise of the republican party does not worry or concern me anymore.

so please continue to let limbaugh, palin, mcCain's daughter and newt define the party. please continue to have your pansy network FOX air partisan news, continue to listen and admire that texan bastard cheney talk junk. please continue to go to capitol hill and do nothing.

please continue in your stupidity

regretfully no longer yours
kafo

Dear President Obama part 2

2009-03-21T20:03:00.005-05:00

Okay so I decided to listen to the interview that got you in trouble about this whole Special Olympics, Shriver, Palin thing and I must admit I was pleasantly surprised.

I was surprised because you spoke in English and America's youth listened, now out of the whole 25 minute interview you had a 1 minute faux pas that messed things up but right now I'm listening to you give Bush a pass on his stupidity by hiring that guy that looks like an X-Men for the czar of the bailout money and you addressed them in words they could understand. So yeah i am pleasantly surprised and glad that you did that. But you have to play this game very smart because in trying to identify with the common man you run the risk of losing what makes the office so revered.

We are at minute 20 and you haven't said anything stupid yet.

Ah now i hear it around minute 21,
hmmm i c
no biggie, give an official apology and move forward.

I like the interview tho, classy but still NO MORE INTERVIEWS to Jay Leno and the rest of the Entertainment crew YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT

Kafo

Dear Chris Dodd,

2009-03-21T19:40:00.002-05:00

We need to TALK

Seriously

You, mii and that geitner kid need to meet in the locker room

ASAP

Dear Palin

2009-03-21T19:35:00.002-05:00

Dear Mrs. THANK GOD YOU DID NOT BECOME VICE PRESIDENT Palin,

SHUT UP.

Okay I know that the party we both love for some reason sees you are a savior but America doesn't, so what you have a Down Syndrome kid, WHO FREAKING CARES.

Look each time someone says something about special olympics are you really going to release a statement. We, when i say we, i mean the American people are tired of you. For real, when was the last time we heard from McCain but you are this constant thorn in our side that refuses to be pulled out.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

I know you are addicted to attention but you are not helping your bid for presidency in 2012, hmmmm now that i think about it, keep at it. Keep making yourself a nuisance, keep talking, keep allowing your kids to have sex and create babies with men then won't marry, keep updating us about your husband's games that he plays at as a job, please continue because the more you do this junk the less america wants to see you in any position so then you might just get fired from being governor and then we won't have to deal with you oh and then it could get alot worse because you could be indicted on charges for taking advantage of your office and then to sweeten the pot hollywood could do a movie on you, the lady in red and then by 2012 the sound of your voice will make grown men PUKE.

Yes so please
don't shut up
keep on talking
please

Kafo

Dear President Obama

2009-03-21T19:29:00.003-05:00

Wow, that the first time I have written those words. This is my first official letter to the 44th President of the United States of America.

Dear President Obama,

Those words have a nice ring to it but this post is anything but genial. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I know how you got elected, you know how you got elected, I read the book and watched the TV show all seven episodes but this is where reality and fiction have to part ways. You are NOT a celebrity, you are the PRESIDENT of a country. You are not allowed to appear of late night shows like Jay Leno's or the other guy on CBS. It is degrading the office you currently hold. Yes I know you are hip, and young and have got to keep your blackberry but let's get real and leave the dreams at the door.

There is a thing called over exposure and there is a thing called over exposure, mercy, bot types of over exposure you have surpassed. So scale THE FLIPMODE down, for real, dude, I know that our years at Harvard, writing together for the Review have cemented our relationship but I do not support your current tactics.

There is alot we need to discuss so the next time Rahm lets you off the leash, let mii know and can you please stop doing the secretary jobs for them there is a reason we have secretary of state, agriculture, commerce, finance, defense.

There is a reason.

So yeah read the constitution again to help you calm down and put your ego in check and then give mii a call so we can sort this latest mess out cuz your PR sucks right now and that's the nicest way i can put it.

Kafo