The Hippie Housewife

Just guide gently

2008-11-18T18:29:00.003-05:00

I read the most wonderful picture of parenting recently, Just Guide Gently over at A Holy Experience. I couldn't possibly think of a better analogy - nor could I ever say it so beautifully.

Just a snippet:

“If you’ll look closely, do you see how it puckers here, when you push the material through? Don’t rush, or push the fabric along. If you push the material through, you’ll end up with wrinkled, disappointing handiwork. You just guide….”

“Gently?” Hope offers.

“Yes! That’s it precisely: no pushing…or you’ll wrinkle everything. Just guide gently.”

My ladle hangs midair. Empty bowl waits in one hand. I have ears to hear.

Rain streams in rivulets down the glass. The needle again begins to purr. I close my eyes, breathe deeply, and finger write those words on soul sand: “Just guide gently.”

Push and it will all pucker.

Language

2008-11-17T15:43:00.003-05:00

Language skills have absolutely erupted here over the past week or two. I've been waiting for this so it's nice to see it happen. The little guy will now mimic anything when prompted (something he hadn't been doing before) and the words he can say are even clearer.

The other day he figured out how to nod "yes" - which is hilarious. He does such an exaggerated nod, bending waaay back, then flinging his head all the way forward. My husband called it "a Japanese bow on steroids". Yes, my husbands has no idea how to be politically correct.

I'm also really impressed with how easily he can follow instructions now (the little guy that is - not my husband). Sometimes I'll ask him to do something complicated - either with multiple steps or in words that I'm not certain he will yet understand - and he'll just run off and do it. Meanwhile I'm sitting there completely flabbergasted, having expected to have to explain further or coach him through the steps.

Letting us know what he wants has become much clearer as well. He'll use words, multiple signs, pointing and occasionally some bodily tugging or pushing to get his message across. He's learned the sign for "tired" and has been using that when he wants to go to bed, which is just so sweet. And he absolutely shocked me the other day when he actually asked me to change his diaper, as he's never shown any notice of having a dirty diaper before. He's asked a couple times since then - maybe this is a sign that we can start considering potty learning? I'm a total newb, I admit it, I have no idea how to go about doing that.

He also understands the idea of "first we have to do this...then we can go do that." Not that he's always happy about it, but he understands it and accepts it.

And books! He's long been a huge fan of books, but things had started to peter off a bit in that regard. There has been a definite resurgence lately, though, leaving us with tall stacks of books in all his favourite reading spots.

He's recently started on a dinosaur kick, which surprised me for some reason. Now he points them out everywhere, has added "dinosaur" to the list of words he can say, and his most requested book is a dinosaur alphabet book. Some of those dinosaur names...quite the mouthful. Ah well, first I had to learn how to tell the difference between a backhoe and a bulldozer and a loader and all the rest, now I suppose it's time to get my "mother to a little boy" education in dinosaurs.

Ah, but with all these great leaps in communication lately, we had one dismal failure the other day. The little guy was standing beside the toilet with me, watching as I scraped out his diaper. When I was done I nodded to him to go ahead and flush the toilet, which he likes to do when I'm finished with the diaper. Well, he interpreted my "flush the toilet" nod as a "go ahead and drop that sock you're holding into the toilet" nod. Doh. I let out an exclamation and he looked up at me with a "oh...that wasn't was I was supposed to do?" look, followed by an "am I in trouble?" look, so I sighed and closed my mouth and fished the floating sock out of the toilet and tossed it in the diaper pail. Lesson learned - use words, not nods.

Sharing the love

2008-11-16T07:34:00.002-05:00

I received this award from Heather and Korey last week. Thank you, ladies! It was so sweet and thoughtful of you.

This award acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values every day.

The rules are:

1. Accept the award and post it on your blog along with a link to the person who has awarded you.

2. Pass the award on to 15 other blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment. Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Here are the blogs I picked:

1. Stefani @ Blue Yonder
2. Adrian @ Dreamin' in Technicolor
3. Patti @ Fill Me With Beauty
4. Lauren @ Fizleglitz
5. Rebecca @ Graceful Parenting
6. Jen @ Hilty Sprouts
7. Carol @ Parenting Freedom
8. Annie @ PhD in Parenting
9. Nicole @ The Single Domestic
10. naejeirual @ Thinkin'
11. Natasha @ To Live For Him
12. Melody @ Transitions of an Overachiever
13. Sara @ Walk Slowly Live Wildly
14. Christine @ Welcome to my Brain
15. Laura @ Wild Parenting

Mememememe

2008-11-15T07:42:00.002-05:00

Husband has been sick. Sleep has been short. Work has been overabundant. PhD in Parenting has tagged me, and for that I am grateful.

THE FAVOURITE MEME

Fill in your favourite for each of the following:

1. Political show Don't really watch any. Especially since we don't have TV.

2. Picnic food Potato salad.

3. Mixed drink Cranberry juice and Sprite. Heh.

4. U.S. President I enjoy Reagan's quotes.

5. Kind of student to teach One who is interested in learning.

6. Hobby you do or wish you still did Knitting. It's much more interesting now that I've branched out beyond squares and rectangles.

7. Sports commentator *yawn* Sorry, what?

8. Sport to watch on TV Gymnastics.

9. Animal to have as a pet Hermit crabs are awesome pets.

10. Halloween costume you have worn I have fond memories of a very pretty ballerina costume I wore when I was very very small.

11. Kind of dessert Anything with chocolate.

12. Comic strip I love For Better or For Worse

13. Style or make of footwear My cheap $10 Walmart cork sandals. I buy a new pair every year and wear them until they quite literally fall apart. They are my guilty Walmart pleasure.

14. Ice cream flavor Ooh, that's a tough one. It would be a toss up between chocolate chip mint and chocolate cherry. I just finished eating the most delicious chocolate cherry ice cream a few minutes ago. I just discovered it at Farm Boy last week. If you live near a Farm Boy, buy some.

15. College or university president I probably liked the president of the Certified General Accountants Association when I graduated.

16. Internet news source Heh, my husband. Or at least he reads it off the Internet to me. He likes CBC.

17. Vacation spot Is it warm? I'm there.

18. Wine I'm not terribly fond of wine. Sipping it during communion every week from the time I was a little girl has made drinking more than a tiny sip of it taste incredibly weird and overwhelming.

19. Way to waste time instead of working Reading blogs and forums, not that I think I'm wasting time when I'm doing that. Not all the time, anyway.

20. Student excuse for late work Bowel reconstruction surgery. Definitely valid in my books. She got a two month extension for that. (I teach an online course.)

21. Reality show I'm drawn to shows like Wife Swap, even though they usually annoy me. I loved the first season of The Apprentice.

22. Jewelry on a man Other than the wedding ring on my husband, nothing really.

23. Pizza topping Lots of meat. Especially spicy sausage.

24. Children’s movie The Land Before Time. Only the original one though. Not the 5,386 movies that followed.

25. Celebrity you wish would retire ...Can't think of anyone.

Tag, you're it! Lauren, Melody, Karyn, Korey, Heather, and you. Yes, you. Because probably the only reason I didn't list you by name was that I thought you wouldn't be interested. If you are, consider yourself tagged.

One such day

2008-11-14T17:20:00.004-05:00

Sometimes snuggling in a warm bath is the perfect way to redeem an otherwise grumpy day - for mama and chid.

Today was one such day.

Thankful Thursday

2008-11-13T14:53:00.004-05:00

Today has been a crazy day.

I work from home, but this morning I had to go in to a client's to help them with their accounting system. I guesstimated one hour, two tops. Four hours later, I was finally done and on my way.

Sadly, I wasn't heading home, but to the mechanics, as our heater hasn't been working for a couple weeks now and it was time to admit that it needed some help (plus, the burning smell...couldn't mean anything good). I drop my car off, but now it's pouring and I've got a good half hour's walk ahead of me since the mechanic had no courtesy cars left. Meanwhile I'm imagining my poor boy at home, nearly five hours since I left and now his naptime. I just hoped the neighbours didn't complain about the wailing that was sure to be happening.

And then this lady, another customer, offers to give me a ride home! I gratefully accept and ten minutes later I'm unlocking the door to our home, after thanking the lady profusely and being told to pass it on if I can (I absolutely will!). I don't hear any screaming yet. This is good. I open the door and find, not my son crying, but my husband moaning. He's been sick ever since I left, he tells me, but the little guy has been an absolute angel for him (phew!).

After a few minutes of rushing around changing a diaper and getting a load of wash going, I get both my men settled into our bed for a nap. Shhhh, they're sleeping.

So after that crazy morning, I need to pull out the bits I'm especially thankful for:

* Having a sweet little boy who will sit on the couch at his sick daddy's feet, reading books quietly to himself.

* Having a wonderful husband who, despite spending five hours watching said boy by himself while shaking and throwing up and feeling generally miserable, doesn't grumble in the least when I finally get back home.

* Having a kind stranger offer to drive me home so that I don't have to walk through the rain.

* Having heat in my car again, and a repair bill that isn't too frightening.

* Having a job that usually allows me to work from home.

Now to continue knitting a tiny little hat for Mama to Mama's Caps to Cap-Haitien Project, and wait for my boys to wake up from their nap.

International Babywearing Week

2008-11-12T15:59:00.007-05:00

From the Babywearing International website:

Benefits of Babywearing

Medical professionals agree that infants thrive through touch; “wearing” your baby is another way to meet this need. But the benefits of babywearing don’t end there...babywearing offers many other advantages, some of which include:

• Happy Babies. It’s true … carried babies cry less! In a study published in the journal Pediatrics, researchers found that babywearing for three hours a day reduced infant crying by 43 percent overall and 54 percent during evening hours.

• Healthy Babies. Premature babies and babies with special needs often enter the world with fragile nervous systems. When a baby rides in a sling attached to his mother, he is in tune with the rhythm of her breathing, the sound of her heartbeat, and the movements his mother makes—walking, bending, and reaching. This stimulation helps him to regulate his own physical responses. Research has even shown that premature babies who are touched and held gain weight faster and are healthier than babies who are not.

• Confident Parents. A large part of feeling confident as a parent is the ability to read our babies’ cues successfully. Holding our babies close in a sling allows us to become finely attuned to their movements, gestures, and facial expressions. Every time a baby is able to let us know that she is hungry, bored, or wet without having to cry, her trust in us is increased, her learning is enhanced, and our own confidence is reinforced. This cycle of positive interaction deepens the mutual attachment between parent and child, and is especially beneficial for mothers who are at risk for or suffering from postpartum depression.

• Loving Caregivers. Baby carriers are a great bonding tool for fathers, grandparents, adoptive parents, babysitters, and other caregivers. Imagine a new father going for a walk with his baby in a sling. The baby isbecoming used to his voice, heartbeat, movements, and facial expressions, and the two are forging a strong attachment of their own. Baby carriers are beneficial for every adult in a baby’s life. Cuddling up close in the sling is a wonderful way to get to know the baby in your life, and for the baby to get to know you!

• Comfort and Convenience. With the help of a good carrier, you can take care of older children or do chores without frequent interruptions from an anxious or distressed infant—which helps to reduce sibling rivalry. Baby carriers are also wonderful to use with older babies and toddlers; you can save those arms and go where strollers can’t. Climbing stairs, hiking, and navigating crowded airports all can be done with ease when you use a well-designed baby carrier!

Babywearing has been wonderful for us. From the time our son was an infant, we've found it be more useful than we ever could have imagined. From those early days when he napped better snuggled close to a warm body, to long days of teething, to walking outdoors in the snowy Canadian winters, to innumerable other instances, babywearing has saved my sanity. And that's with only one child! I can imagine the benefits only increasing with each new child, allowing two hands free to chase after silly toddlers, prepare meals for hungry children, and take care of all the other demands of parenting that can't always be done with a babe in arms. And on top of that are all the benefits to the baby - and a few more!

Lest We Forget

2008-11-11T14:25:00.000-05:00

We spent the morning at the Remembrance Day ceremonies. We were way in the back and couldn't see much, but like my husband said to me, it was just the act of being there that mattered, spending an hour in the cold in thanks and honour for those who fought and even died for our freedom.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.

- John McCrae

"To you from failing hands we throw the torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die..." May we continue to fight for freedom every day.

Homosexual marriage

2008-11-10T18:20:00.004-05:00

At the risk of sounding snarky (I don't mean to!), I honestly don't understand some things surrounding the whole homosexual marriage issue. On both sides. So however you feel about it, feel free to chime in and edumacate me.

Let's start with the people who are for homosexual marriage, since it's the easier of the two. For the most part, I understand. But just focusing on one little thing - I absolutely understand why supporters would want same-sex unions of some sort. I don't need any clarification in that regard. What I don't understand is why supporters want to change the definition of marriage itself in order to allow for same-sex marriage, especially in places where same-sex unions are allowed and are granted the same rights as married couples. Why is a civil union with rights equivalent to marriage unsatisfactory?

Now, moving on to those who are against same-sex marriage and/or same-sex unions. If you are not a Christian and are against either/or, why? It actually shocks me that same-sex unions are still limited to only a handful of states, as the only people I ever hear speaking against this are those who are against it for religious reasons. I don't understand why, unless one is a Christian and believes homesexuality to be a sin, one would be opposed to this?

And now for the majority - Christians who are against same-sex marriage and/or unions. If you are against same-sex marriage, I more or less understand where you're coming from. But for those who are against even same-sex unions on a religious basis...why?

As Christians, we believe the Bible tells us that homosexuality is a sin. But we believe lots of other things are sins too - including other things related to marriage. How about common-law marriage? Cohabitation? Domestic partnerships? What about premarital sex? What about divorce, which God says He hates?

Why shouldn't all these things be illegal too? If marriage is so sacred, then why aren't Christians lobbying against these things the way they are against same-sex unions, or even homosexuality in general?

And if all sins, no matter how small, are enough to separate us from a holy God, then what about making those "small" sins illegal too? Lying? Greed? Arrogance? Gossip?

It seems that many of us as Christians feel it is our duty to legislate our morals. What makes us think we should be able to tell others what to do, and even to force them to do it through laws? Do we think we can bring salvation through laws? And if so, isn't that the whole point of the gospel, that the law - whether religious law or governmental law - cannot save us? That we need a Saviour? Isn't that what the Law was supposed to show us?

I do not in any way believe that churches should perform same-sex marriages or blessings. As a member of the Anglican church, this is an issue that touches very close to home for me, as the Anglican Church of Canada and the Episcopal Church of the USA have both split over this very issue. We belong to a church that has chosen to reject the idea of the church blessing or performing same-sex marriages, as we do not believe the church should ever bless something which the Bible says in a sin.

But the law has nothing to do with Christianity, and we should hope it remains so. One day, should it become illegal to preach or read God's Word, will you obey the law then? And as for what the world does? We cannot (and should not) force them to conform to our morals and beliefs, nor even expect them to - for why would they? Would you obey Islam's commands if you did not believe in Allah or follow that particular religion?

Maybe we should start by showing the world Jesus.

Sweet dreams

2008-11-09T19:05:00.003-05:00

Hush little baby, don't say a word,
Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird.
Last night as I was laying in bed beside my little boy putting him to sleep, he snuggled up against me and put his arm around me, resting his tiny hand on my back. I think I melted. It got me thinking back over the months of co-sleeping - months of little fingers grasping mine, months of warm snuggles, months of peaceful sleeps and easy wake-ups.

If that mocking bird don't sing,
Momma's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
It also got me thinking back to how our co-sleeping began. We hadn't planned to co-sleep, not really, but we knew we wanted our baby close in those first few months. He had a bassinet right next to our bed. He slept in it at night and during the occasional nap - the rest of his naps he slept either on my lap or snuggled close in a baby carrier (usually a wrap back in those days).

If that diamond ring turns brass,
Momma's gonna buy you a looking glass.
This worked for a while. We were extremely spoiled with a baby who slept six hours straight each night by the time he was a week old, and slept ten hour stretches by the time he was a month old. Like I said, extremely spoiled. But he started making up for it when he turned 3 months old (as those early sleeping babies are prone to do), waking up first once each night, then twice, then more and more until he was up nearly every.single.hour for a stretch of I-was-too-tired-to-remember-how-many weeks.

If that looking glass gets broke,
Momma's gonna buy you a billy goat.
Exhaustion. At first I kept up the whole bassinet thing. He'd wake up for food, I'd sit up and feed him, try not to fall asleep, change his diaper, and put him back to sleep in the bassinet. Repeat as many times as he woke up in a night.

If that billy goat won't pull,
Momma's gonna buy you a cart and bull.
One night it was same as usual - he woke up, I fed him. Suddenly, I don't know how much later, I snapped awake in a full-out panic and realized I had no idea where my baby was, had no memory of putting him back to sleep, the light was still on, and oh-my-goodness where was he and was he okay and how could I do such a thing? I frantically searched the bed and the floor. Finally I noticed him sound asleep in his bassinet - apparently I had put him back to sleep after all, despite having no memory of it and having fallen back asleep with the light on.

If that cart and bull turns over,
Momma's gonna buy you a dog named Rover.
From that night on, he slept with us. When he woke up, I'd latch him on and we'd both lie there peacefully until we fell asleep again. He didn't start consistently sleeping through the night again until he was a year old, but co-sleeping made it so much more bearable. We both got more sleep because of it. But more than that, there's just something so sweet and so natural and so right about having your children tucked up beside you while you sleep at night. Now that we do it, I couldn't imagine it any other way.

If that dog named Rover won't bark,
Momma's gonna buy you a horse and cart.
We still nurse to sleep most nights, but we've had a few nights lately where he's fallen asleep with me kneeling down beside the bed and singing to him instead. He even has his favourite songs already. He'll point at my mouth when he wants me to start singing. If it's not the song he wants, he'll cover my mouth with his hand until I stop, then point at it again for a new song. When I finally start singing the song he wants, he breaks out into a big grin and lets out one of his adorable little maniacal giggles that I love so much.

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
Much to my chagrin, he has decided that his favourite song is Hush Little Baby. While I am pleased to have finally memorized the lyrics to this song (I used to always get confused somewhere around the looking glass breaking), it's never been one of my favourites. I mean, what a materialistic song! I most certainly will not buy him all of those things! I think I should rewrite it, sing him my own version.

Hush Little Baby, don't you cry,
Momma's gonna sing you a lullaby.

When your blue eyes start to close,
Momma's gonna kiss you on your nose.

When you wake all bleary-eyed,
Momma's gonna be right at your side.

When the laundry must be done,
Momma's gonna let you in on all the fun...
And so on and so forth. Brilliant, no?

Week one over!

2008-11-08T15:05:00.002-05:00

Week One of NaBloPoMo is over - so far so good! Irritatingly enough, though, instead of having less post drafts waiting for me to finish, I now have more. So much to write about, so little time to write.

Half-written blog posts aside, is there anything you would like me to blog about? I'm always more than open to questions, writing prompts, topic requests and any other inspiration you may have for me!

My hopes for you, Child

2008-11-07T07:20:00.008-05:00

Child,

I hope you always know you are loved.

Child,

I hope you do right because you believe it is right.

I hope you will love and serve others.

I hope you will love yourself as well.

I hope you will be compassionate.

I hope that the fruit of the Spirit is evident in your life:
love,
joy,
peace,
patience,
kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness,
gentleness,
self-control.

Child,

I hope you come to know and to love God.

I hope you will discover the joy and peace of an ever-growing relationship with Jesus Christ, becoming His joyful disciple.

I hope you put your faith and trust in Him and find there the peace that passes all understanding.

I hope you question everything you're told, and I hope your basis for truth is always the Bible.

Child,

I hope you fight for the Truth in all things.

I hope you have an inquisitive spirit, never afraid to dig deeper.

I hope you trust generally, but trust your heart and intuition when they sense danger.

I hope you don't always do what you're told.

Child,

I hope you work hard to achieve your goals.

I hope you will be wise, discerning, and responsible.

I hope you grow to become secure, confident, and joyful.

I hope you will honour and follow your God-given bent and always seek His guidance.

Child,

I hope you will always feel safe bringing your struggles of any sort to your parents.

I hope you will always sense our love and support and know that we are praying for you.

I hope you will have a loving and secure marriage, serving each other with mutual adoration, respect, and submission.

I hope you are blessed with children of your own to love and nurture into maturity.

Child,

I hope you look back on your childhood and smile.

I hope you enjoy and appreciate nature in all its forms.

I hope your life is filled with creativity and imagination.

I hope you will have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, ever learning and ever putting that knowledge to practical use.

Child,

I hope you live your life always in the present, but with an eye towards Heaven.

I hope you approach life with passion and wild abandon, but find balance and serenity in life as well.

Child,

I hope that my actions towards you will always bear witness to these hopes I have for you.

"Are my everyday practices likely to help my children grow into the kind of people I'd like them to be? When we fail to examine our objectives we're left by default with practices that are intended solely to get kids to do what they're told."
Alfie Kohn, "Unconditional Parenting"

What about you? What are your hopes for your children?

Misconceptions

2008-11-06T06:23:00.003-05:00

It often frustrates me how many misconceptions there are in regards to the way I parent.

It became even more obvious when my in-laws were here this summer. We spent much of their visit travelling, which meant two long days in the car with a little boy who isn't terribly fond of long car rides. He had an even harder time of it because there were two people in the backseat with him the whole time, keeping him awake in their attempts to keep him happy. At the end of a very long day, back at home at last, my MIL - the most patient and kind lady I know - snapped at me something along the lines of "as if you would have let us leave him to cry anyway."

And yet that was exactly what I had wished she had done! Just leave the poor boy alone so he could fall asleep, even if it meant a few minutes of fussing with someone sitting right next to him holding his hand. Obviously getting out of his carseat was not an option, and a full day in the car with a baby who has not had his nap is, well, less than fun.

(To be clear - this is not a rant about my MIL, whom I love dearly. I simply mention this incident because it was the one that made me realize just how misconstrued my parenting was.)

We don't leave our son to cry himself to sleep at night. We have a good many reasons for this, most centering on the psychological and emotional impact of doing so. I'll save a more detailed explanation of why for another day.

This does not, however, mean that our child never cries. It does not me that we avoid sad, angry, or upset feelings at all costs. It does not mean we are constantly seeking to placate our child. It does not mean we are scared of our child's feelings.

Along those same lines, the fact that we parent our child to sleep, co-sleep, and continue to breastfeed him does not mean that we are "spoiling" him, allowing him to control things, or preventing him from gaining independence. Quite the contrary - physical contact, reassurance, and prompt responses to distress in infancy and childhood provide a secure foundation that leads to secure and confident adults who are better able to form healthy and functional relationships.

I frequently hear equally incorrect assumptions about our discipline techniques. We do not spank, slap, or otherwise hit our son as a form of "discipline". We have many reasons for this, generally relating to the ineffectiveness and the negative long-term effects of spanking (again, another post for another day).

Upon hearing this, the typical response is to launch into a long and wholly unnecessary diatribe on the evils of permissiveness and the necessity of discipline. Alternatively, you get brushed off as having embraced some "newfangled pop psychology" where everything is sunshine and roses 24/7 and your child can do no wrong.

*sigh*

We are not a permissive family. We are fully aware of the necessity of discipline. We simply do not choose to hit our children as a method of such.

But on the other end of the spectrum, neither are we an adversarial family. We do not look at our child as something to be conquered, as an enemy to be fought against, or as a strong will to be broken.

PhD in Parenting wrote an excellent post on discipline that summed up my feelings on the matter exactly. I couldn't say it any better than she already has.

It just frustrates me to no end when people jump to these assumptions upon hearing that we don't leave our child to cry-it-out or use spanking as a method of "discipline". It would certainly be easier for us if we did either of these things. Leaving my child to cry-it-out would save me a lot of time currently spent parenting my child to sleep. Spanking could certainly achieve outward results faster than the methods we have chosen.

But rather than convenience and appearances, I'm more concerned about the long-term effects of my parenting (is this going to lead to a secure and confident healthy adult?) and about my child's inward state rather than merely his outward behaviour (is he able to make wise decisions of his own accord, or just to avoid punishment?). Am I giving him the secure foundation he needs? Am I coming alongside him to disciple him into maturity? Is his heart in the right place - or does he just appear to be a "good boy"?

For now I simply trust that, in time, the results will speak for themselves.

A sad day for America

2008-11-05T06:23:00.003-05:00

Obama has been declared president-elect.

My condolences to you, America.

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."
Ronald Reagan

To those who voted against this, be encouraged. Change does not come only from within the White House. Change comes from the little everyday things that we do ourselves - loving our neighbours, caring for the poor, the sick, the orphaned, the widowed, raising our children with grace and truth, and teaching our children that which is just, right, and merciful.

As my husband and I watched the election coverage last night, I couldn't help but feeling that despite the disgusting amount of racism that still exists in America, black people have come much further than women have. These past months of campaigning have been evidence of that, with Palin mocked for everything from her hair and her shoes to the sparsity of the state she governed. Nothing she said or did, past or present, was taken seriously by the public or by the media. The Freedom of Choice Act is further evidence - women don't need to be told the truth, they're much too fragile and emotional for that, we'd much rather withhold information from them or even straight out lie to them. Silly little creatures, those women-folk are.

But that's another issue in itself.

Good luck, America. I fear you'll need it.

First snow of the season

2008-11-03T22:48:00.005-05:00

The little man wasn't too sure what to think when he looked out the window to see the first snow of the season last week.

He stood there staring for a long time, occasionally scratching his head or looking back at me with a questioning look on his face.

But now the snow's gone again and today is beautiful. We just got back from a nice walk. The little guy's napping and I am trying to decide which of my many projects to tackle first - which so often results in me doing none of them because I just can't make up my mind. Ah, indecisiveness.

Should I work? If so, which work? Accounting? Marking? Spreadsheet development? Should I knit? Perhaps get started on a hat for Mama to Mama's Caps to Cap-Haitien Project? Or continue working on the hat my darling husband has so sweetly asked me to knit for him? Maybe get caught up on e-mails, or continue working on some more substantial blog posts?

You see? I can't handle all these options!

Ah well. Time to go do something.

Parenting challenges

2008-11-03T14:26:00.003-05:00

Last week I hit my first major parenting challenge.

It snowed. Which meant I had to buy my toddler boots.

Gasps of horror, I know!

First I had to figure out what size his feet were. I've been careful about what shoes he wears. We started off with Robeez, which were great. When he wore a hole through those and needed something tougher for outdoors, we switched to Robeez Tredz - also great. Unfortunately, they're all sized by months, so I hadn't the foggiest idea what his shoe size was.

I picked up a boot that looked about the same size as his shoe. I went to slip it onto his foot...and that was about as far as I got. I pushed, I jammed, I rammed, I pushed some more - that boot was not going on his foot. Fine. I tried a bigger size. More pushing, more ramming - five minutes later I was sweating, he was giving me this weird look, and I was ready to call off the boot hunt and just carry him around all winter with several layers of socks on.

So we tried a different store. I found a boot that had a liner - surely that would make it easier somehow.

Hah!

I'm pretty sure I had people laughing at me as I tried to jam this stupid boot onto his foot. He thought it was pretty hilarious, anyway.

At this point I started getting a little irrational. As in the "why would anyone let me raise a kid when I don't even know how to buy him boots!!" sort of irrational.

Yes. It was boots that first made me feel like a failure at this whole parenting thing.

Not sleep issues. Not food issues. Not discipline issues.

Boots.

And so it went, boot after boot, size after size, style after style. Most boots felt like trying to ram an oversized couch around a corner in a skinny hallway, only his foot was the oversized couch and the boot was the woefully small and unyielding hallway. Some boots managed to fit on his foot, but then he couldn't walk in them, they were so tall and stiff (although I must confess it was a bit amusing to watch him try). Some boots weren't up to the challenge of keeping little feet warm enough during a cold Canadian winter. And some boots were just plain ugly.

Finally we managed to find two half-decent options. They fit on his feet with minimal swearing and sweating, they felt toasty warm, he could walk in them, and they were pretty cute to boot (pun fully intended - you may commence groaning now). Hubby and I agreed on one of the two pairs, me because it was the more flexible of the two, him because it just so happened to be a Toronto Maple Leafs boot (his favourite hockey team - and, by extension, the boy's favourite until he's old enough to start cheering for the Ottawa Senators just to make his dad mad).

Success! We bought the boots, and the little guy spent the rest of the evening gleefully stomping around the house in them.

Turns out I might be able to handle this parenting thing after all.

NaBloPoMo

2008-11-02T23:52:00.002-05:00

A day late and a dollar short - but better late than never.

(Sorry, I couldn't help myself.)

Every year I'm impressed by those who undertake the NaNoWriMo challenge. I find the idea intriguing, tempting, overwhelming, and fun - but mostly just overwhelming. This year, though, I think I can manage NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month. If you'll forgive my missing yesterday's post, I will aim to blog every day this month.

Maybe I'll even manage to clear out the - let's see - ten half-finished blog posts I've got on the go right now.

Wish me luck!

Obama or McCain?

2008-10-27T23:50:00.007-04:00

I'm not typically one for politics. It's too big and murky and uncertain for me. How do you vote for one person when there are so many issues at stake, when you agree with candidate A on issues a, b, and c, and you agree with candidate B on issues x, y, and z, and you think everyone's going about issue d the wrong way? It feels like there's no winning - or, perhaps, no losing, for the eternal optimists out there.

But there's an election coming up that, for once, I have come to feel quite strongly about. Which is sort of a shame, because it's the American election, and I'm Canadian. So I don't get a say anyway.

Well, here's my say, for what it's worth.

If Obama becomes president, he has said that the first thing he will do is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. The FOCA would annihilate every single state law limiting or regulating abortion, including the federal ban on partial birth abortion. It would effectively nullify informed consent laws, waiting periods, parental notification or consent laws, and health and safety regulations for abortion clinics. As FOCA will become a constitutional right, medical professionals and institutions that refuse abortions would lose legal protections. Government officials, too, will be left open to lawsuits, as FOCA prohibits any government agency or official from taking any action that would "discriminate against the exercise of" the FOCA-created legal rights, with respect to any "benefits, facilities, services, or information" - which would include something as simple as a pro-life speech given by a public official.

(As a side note, Obama's support of federal hate crime laws to include sexual orientation should also be worrisome to those who may soon find their morals dictated to them by the government.)

I will never understand the legalization of partial birth abortion. However you feel about abortion itself, partial birth abortion is so absolutely horrifying and undeniably wrong that it could not be considered anything less than murder.

Of course, Obama did make his views on children even more clear when he said he didn't want his daughters "punished" with a baby if they make a mistake. I wasn't aware that babies - even unexpected ones - were punishment.

Something else I don't understand - Obama had this to say in his speech to Planned Parenthood:

"In 1966, the Planned Parenthood Federation of America gave its first Margaret Sanger Award to Martin Luther King, Jr. And in his acceptance speech, which was delivered by his strong and wonderful wife Coretta, Dr. King wrote, “Our sure beginning in the struggle for equality by non-violent, direct action may not have been so resolute without the tradition established by Margaret Sanger and people like her.”

That struggle for equality is not over and now we are at one of those rare moments where we can actually transform our politics in a fundamental way. But it’s going to take people as resolute as Mrs. Sanger and Dr. King..."

It literally shocks me that, given Margaret Sanger's racist eugenic ideology, Obama would hold her up as a forerunner in the struggle for equality. The logic...well, it simply escapes me.

McCain, on the other hand, supports giving legal protection to unborn children, and opposes government funding for abortions. McCain is pro-life with the goal of eliminating the need for abortions in the first place - something that truly gets to the heart of the issue.

But there are many who are not disappointed by the promise of FOCA. So leaving the abortion issue aside, what else would an Obama presidency bring?

Obama opposes allowing parents to homeschool their children with little or no government interference. Obama's education fact sheet includes more daycare ("education from birth"), voluntary (for now) universal preschool, and government workers coming into people's homes to see how the parents are doing ("evidence-based home visiting programs"). A review of his education platform on his website shows a threatening push to place children under the government's banner of care.

McCain, on the other hand, supports the right of a parent to choose among schools for their child, including home education. A review of his education platform on his website shows a strong emphasis on empowering parents to choose and providing freedom of education.

Speaking of parenting freedoms, how about vaccinations? McCain believes in the right for individuals (and in the case of children, parents) to make informed health care decisions, and does not support pre-empting these prerogatives. Obama has said that he is "not for selective vax". Combine a firm position of pro-vaccine on schedule with mandatory UHC insurance for children...yikes.

At the heart of it - McCain trusts you to parent your own kids. Obama thinks he can do a better job than you.

Ronald Reagan said it well:

"I hope we have once again reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There's a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: as government expands, liberty contracts."

Economically, Obama opposes the passage of a law requiring a balanced budget. Where is the fiscal responsibility and accountability in this? McCain, on the other hand, supports the passage of such a law.

McCain supports the appointment of judges who are strict constructionists, ones that will not legislate from the bench. Obama opposes this. I find some of Obama's statements on this subject to be particularly frightening. It is relevant to remember that an Obama presidency would last four years - but Supreme Court nominees serve an average of 15 years and can stay as long as they like.

I'm going to stop there for now, as far as Obama/McCain goes, despite the many more issues I have with Obama. I've found the political entries over at Parenting Freedom to be highly revealing, and much more in-depth than my non-political mind tends to go. (I've also rather enjoyed her many Sarah Palin pictures, all with her beautiful family right there beside her.) I'd like to end with a slight shift in focus - third party votes.

I know many people don't like either candidates and dislike the thought of voting for the "lesser evil". Some (hat tip to Lauren) have suggested that we need to think in the long term, sacrificing our votes now in hopes of eventually getting to the point where a third party could mean something. I understand that argument, I truly do, and normally would encourage the idea of voting for a third party.

In this particular election, however, I could not do so. My vote would go firmly to McCain.

As it stands right now, it looks as though the election could go either way - Obama or McCain - and perhaps more likely Obama. It seems (and I could be wrong) that most people who vote third party would look at McCain as the lesser of two evils if they had to choose. If all of those third party votes went to McCain instead, it could mean the difference in who becomes the next president. So while I feel it is admirable to vote for the person you feel most comfortable with - even if it is a third party - this year I would have to vote for McCain. I would so hate to see Obama elected that even if I wasn't 100% comfortable with McCain (and I do disagree with him on some issues), I would forgo the third party vote and vote for McCain instead. Considering the issue of Supreme Court judge appointments - this is a long-term matter.

So for those who support the rights of the unborn, the rights of parents, and the right to believe as you choose and act accordingly, for those who want accountability and a balanced budget, for those who prefer personal freedoms to "big government" - vote for McCain, not a third party. The election is uncertain enough that all of those "throw away" third party votes could make the difference between Obama winning and McCain winning. And to me, Obama is by far the greater evil.

Appreciating fall

2008-10-21T11:11:00.008-04:00

I have decided that this year will be the year that I learn to love fall.

I've never been terribly fond of it before. It's cold and wet and chilly. The fresh berries are gone. The trees lose their leaves. Winter starts looming.

(Oh, how I detest winter.)

But no. This year I will enjoy fall. And so far I have. It was helped along by my growing interest in food and sustainability. What grows in what season? What should I look for? What are the local farmers selling now? What new in-season foods can I add to our menu? What new recipes can I try?

Last week it was apple butter and apple sauce. Nothing fancy, but I've never made either before so it was exciting enough for me. Tonight it was roasted butternut squash. That stuff is delicious!

I've also been enjoying apple cider this month. This intrigues me, as I've always hated apple juice. To be perfectly honest, it looks and smells like pee. Which makes me think it tastes like pee. But apple cider? YUM.

Fall also means the return of the pumpkin hat! Oh pumpkin hat, how I adore thee. (Though not nearly as much as I adore the little boy whose head you sit upon.)

Fall means carpets of leaves to wade through in the wooded area behind our house.

Why have I never properly appreciated this place before? It's beautiful. Our own secret land to explore...

...or just to admire as we sit and contemplate.

So I've decided - fall isn't so bad after all.

Perhaps next year I can work on appreciating winter too.

Apple Butter

Peel and quarter 10 apples and place in large pot.

Add:
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 1/4 cups apple juice
1 Tbsp ground cinnamon
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp ground allspice
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground cloves

Admire your spice rack for the umpteenth time.

Heat all ingredients to boiling, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 1 hour. Mash apples. Simmer uncovered for 1 hour more, stirring occasionally.

Cool for 2 hours and store in the fridge for up to 3 weeks (alternatively, freeze or can it). Serve with the most amazing biscuits ever. Make a mental note to thank your MIL for that Betty Crocker cookbook.

Applesauce

Peel and quarter 4 apples and place in crock pot.

You'll notice mine are unpeeled. Big mistake. I'd read that they were easier to peel after they had been cooked. Again - big mistake. It didn't even give my applesauce the nice "rosy glow" I had been promised. Next time, I peel my apples before cooking them.

Add:
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp ground nutmeg

Cover and cook on High for 2 hours or until apples are tender. Stir/mash/puree to desired consistency.

Store in fridge (or can it).

I'm beginning to love fall.

Next up - making pumpkin bread with that cute little pie pumpkin. Assuming I don't change my mind and decide to make pumpkin butter instead. Or pumpkin pie. Or pumpkin cookies.

Oh, the decisions.

Advice for the first year

2008-10-16T11:03:00.001-04:00

My baby is 18 months old today. It's such an interesting age - some days more baby than boy, other days more boy than baby, most days a combination of both. So far I've said the same thing with each passing month: "This is my favourite age yet." It just keeps getting better.

His transition from baby to boy (coupled with an influx of newborn babies in our church and amongst some friends of mine) has had me thinking about his first year and the things that really made a positive difference during that time.

The first, likely, was that I completely ignored 90% of the advice I received.

(The best advice I ever received, on the other hand, was from an old man in the elevator. He told me to "just give that child lots of love, 'cause it's a crazy world out there." Truer words have ne'er been spoken.)

In the spirit of being offered unsolicited advice and immediately dismissing it, here is my advice for the first year:

Baby Advice #1: Stay Calm.

Seriously. Do it. Stay calm.

Just relax.

Deep breath in. Now let it out.

You know how they say animals can sense fear? Well, that squalling little bundle of pink perfection in your arms can sense it too. Along with frustration, and anger, and "holy crap, I don't know what I'm doing!" And she will respond to that.

I see it so often - she cries, you bounce, she cries harder, you bounce harder, she cries louder, you shush louder, and soon you're both worked up in a crazy frenzy and things are going bad fast.

Relax.

Stop bouncing and start swaying. Stop shushing and start cooing. Quietly. Whisper words of comfort and songs of peace. She might stop crying. She might not. But either way, your blood pressure will be lower, your breathing will be slower, you will be calmer. And nine times out of ten, she'll respond to that more than anything else.

I've found this to be true right from birth, through babyhood, and into toddlerhood - and I'm guessing it'll be true right on through the rest of the stages. When Mom's calm, the rest of the household just seems that much calmer too.

I've found this to be true in all manners of situations as well. Crying newborns, frustrated babies, angry toddlers - everything goes better when Mom stays calm. Go about doing what you need to do to take care of the situation - but do it calmly.

What's more, the things being stressed over often aren't worth stressing over in the first place. It's okay if your six month old isn't eating three square meals a day. It's okay if you have a period of sleep issues - they often resolve themselves in short order. It's okay (and quite normal!) if your baby isn't sleeping through the night by the time she's a month old - or six months old, or even nine months old! It's okay if your baby doesn't roll over, sit, walk, or talk as early as your friend's baby did. It's okay, there's no need to stress over every little bump and sneeze and waking.

It's okay. Relax.

Just stay calm.

Baby Advice #2: Baby Your Baby.

Because, well, they're babies. It's what they're made for.

Two Harvard researchers said it better than I ever could.

Baby your baby. Save independence for later. Give them the foundation they need for independence now.

Your baby will not become spoiled if you carry him often and if you respond to his cries. Those are the very things that will give him the security he needs now to become a healthy adult later.

Consider co-sleeping with your baby. Snuggle him while he nurses. Invest in a good carrier and wear your baby.

Most of all, just hold and comfort that little one - your touch and reassurance is what he needs.

Bonus Advice: Have Fun!

That's all - just have fun. That first year will go by so fast. Enjoy your baby - which, really, is half the point of the first two pieces of advice! Stay calm, don't stress, hold your baby, and comfort your baby - enjoy your baby.

Breastfeeding Challenge 2008

2008-10-11T13:13:00.004-04:00

The boy and I took part in the the 2008 Global Breastfeeding Challenge this morning, latching on along with 159 other moms and their nursing children (including, I was happy to see, a good number of nursing toddlers!). Not as high as last year's 198 babies, but a great turnout nonetheless.

It was so nice to see all those moms and babes contentedly nursing away right there in the middle of the mall. Props to each and every one of them!

I must admit to being disappointed by one of the speakers, who was up there with her small baby that she was "sad to say had to be weaned already", as the mother had gone back to work. I would have been much more impressed to hear from one of the many amazing and dedicated mothers who, despite having to return to work, continue to nurse their little ones, whether by pumping during the day or by nursing only before/after work. That would have been a far more encouraging message to the mothers gathered, particularly those who were facing the prospect of having to return to work themselves.

(I also dumped a ridiculous amount of gift bag vaccination propaganda in the trash when I got home - cute little "Gerri the Giraffe" isn't wanted around here, thanks.)

But, all in all, it was a cheering morning. We're now heading out of town to spend Thanksgiving weekend with relatives. Happy Thanksgiving to all those Canadians out there, and happy weekend to everyone else!

I fail at housekeeping

2008-10-10T23:42:00.003-04:00

This evening I pulled out all our furniture and swept underneath.

I found a potato under our sofa.

(But in my defence, I have a toddler who loves to pull the potatoes out of the pantry and play with them.)

Quirky boy

2008-10-06T21:32:00.001-04:00

I know that every mama thinks their babies are amazing...but boy, do I ever think my son is amazing.

He's also really funny. I remember that being the very first thing that surprised me about him. Things were going along as expected - a bit of crying, a lot of nursing, pretty regular sleeping, diapers to change, cute little coos and heart-melting smiles - and then out of nowhere, my boy was funny! Caught me completely off guard!

At first it was just him laughing when we did silly things (how did he know we were being silly??), but it quickly progressed to him trying to make us laugh. I don't think I've stopped laughing since.

But then, well, then there are the times we're perhaps laughing at him instead of with him.

Like with his nose. He can point correctly to most of his body parts when prompted, but when you ask him where his nose is, he invariably points to his toes. It doesn't matter how many times we correct him or stress the different starting sounds or point to our own nose while prompting - nope, his nose is on his toes.

But hey, at least he has rhyming down.

He still has this thing about clothes, too. Only now he's combined it with his thing about cars. He'll go through his drawer, pull out all the shirts that have cars or trucks on, and bring them to one of us to put on him.

All of them. At the same time.

We usually set the limit at around three.

Then he'll proudly walk around showing us his truck shirt...and his other truck shirt...and his other truck shirt. Oh, and look at the cars on my pants, Mom!

Silly boy.

He's started getting into stacking blocks lately, instead of just knocking down the towers I build. Which is very exciting for me, because now I get to build my awesome kick-butt towers (which always have to be perfectly symmetrical, because I'm anal like that) and not have him knock them down only a few blocks in.

What? I can play with my son's blocks if I want to!

Anyway, so now he builds these gravity-defying towers...and then (what else?) pushes them around pretending they're cars. He's got his cute little "car sounds" and everything.

He's also into lining things up lately. Last week I found him lining up his diapers along the windowsill. Yesterday he was spreading them out like some crazy diaper-quilt on the floor. I'm always hunting for diapers nowadays - I guess it's time to look into some playsilks for him instead.

Imitation is pretty big around here too. He thinks it's hilarious to put the pillow over his head, the way Daddy does in the morning when he doesn't want to get up yet. Or, after watching us play DDR, he runs onto the dance mat, does this crazy on-the-spot dance, and runs back off giggling maniacally.

Speaking of his maniac giggle (honestly, he sounds like the perfect villain with his evil little laugh), he did this very loudly in the grocery store today after I handed him a banana. I love that my kid freaks out over bananas instead of junk food. Oh, but even bananas have paled in comparison with his new love - frozen blueberries.

You'd think they were crack the way this kid's addicted.

The first time he had them, I'd brought them out to mix in with our oatmeal. He had perfectly good fresh blueberries on his tray, which he had been happily eating up to this point. Then he wants one of these new things I've brought out, so I tell him he's weird and hand him a frozen blueberry.

Oh my. Things got a little scary after that. In the "give me those frozen blueberries or die!!!" sort of way.

We won't talk about the diapers that followed that episode.

Anyway, from the sounds of all this...I may perhaps spend too much time laughing at my kid's insanity. Maybe it's a good thing he won't remember any of this.

Circumcision

2008-09-28T09:31:00.001-04:00

It makes me so sad to hear women express their heavy regret over having circumcised their sons. Whether they circ'd due to misinformation, tradition, or pressure from others (family, friends, husbands or doctors), those that become fully informed after the fact and come to regret having allowed the procedure all say the same thing - "I wish I'd known then what I know now."

My heart goes out to them.

There are so many myths out there, from physical to emotional to cultural, it's easy for a woman to allow her son's foreskin to be cut off without giving it a second thought. After all, it's just what's done.

I remember thinking that at one point. When I first brought the issue up before our son was born, I was willing to let my husband decide - I figured hey, he has a penis, he'll know best. Thankfully, my (circ'd) husband didn't think it was necessary to put our son through that sort of pain. Up until that point, I had thought that everyone circumcised their sons, that it was just the proper thing to do. But after my husband said he didn't want it done on our son, I started researching the issue for myself. By the time our son was born, there was no way I would ever have him circumcised. I am so grateful that I had that information (and a husband who was inclined against the procedure anyway) and don't have to live with that regret.

Cleanliness

The most frequent myth I hear about circumcision is that a circ'd penis is cleaner. There is simply no truth to this at all. With an intact infant's penis, you wash it the exact same way you would a circ'd infant's penis - just like a finger. No retraction required. Just wash the outside. An infant's foreskin is fused to the glans underneath, much the same way your fingernails are fused to your nail beds. At some point before puberty, the foreskin will become unfused, at which time the child will simply retract the foreskin to clean beneath during his shower, just as he would wash any other part of his body. It is no big deal.

By contrast, an infant's circumcised penis needs daily attention during the first two weeks, to make sure the cut edges do not adhere to the raw surface of the glans. It is very common for the leftover foreskin to begin adhering to the penis, even months down the line, requiring the skin to be pulled back again. I've recently talked with two mothers who say their sons currently flinch whenever the mother reaches to clean the penis - both of them circumcised boys whose remaining foreskin ahered and needed to be pulled back again several months ago.

Simply put, a circ'd penis is no cleaner than an intact one, nor is it any easier to keep clean.

The Foreskin's Purpose

I don't think this could possibly be stressed enough - the foreskin has a purpose.

The foreskin is not an "extra". It is an integral part of the penis, a God-given protection for the head (glans) of the penis - please don't take that away from your son.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The glans at birth is delicate and easily irritated by urine and feces. The foreskin serves to shield the glans. With circumcision, this protection is lost; the glans and the urinary opening may become irritated or infected, causing ulcers, inflamation, and meatal stenosis (a narrowing of the urinary opening). Such problems virtually never occur in uncircumcised penises. The foreskin protects the glans throughout life.

The Circumcision of the Bible

"But God commanded circumcision in the Old Testament, so there can't be anything wrong with it."

If you are Jewish, then please, circumcise your son. But circumcise him in the manner done traditionally. Jewish people circumcised their sons on the eight day after birth. It has since been discovered that on the eighth day, the amount of prothrombin (a blood-clotting protein) present is elevated far above normal levels — and it is the only day in the male’s life in which this will be the case under normal conditions. If surgery is to be performed, day eight is the perfect day to do it. Vitamin K and prothrombin levels are at their peak.

Furthermore, the Jewish form of circumcision removed only a tiny piece of the tip of the foreskin, not the amputation of the entire foreskin that is done today.

Jewish law requires circumcision, being a blood covenant, to be performed using a razor-sharp surgical knife, making the tiny cut instant and nearly painless. Hospitals, on the other hand, use clamps which completely crush and sever the skin, the nerve endings and the blood vessels in a lengthy procedure causing extreme pain and trauma to the child. This may even cause the child to withdraw into a state of neurological shock in response to the sudden and massive pain. In the year 2000, the FDA issued a warning about circumcision clamps, which it said can cause laceration, hemorrhage, penile amputation, and urethral damage.

Jewish circumcision is also different because the child is not strapped to a board, but held on a pillow by a loved one. He is given a wine soaked rag (and Tylenol and/or EMLA cream in many cases) and prayed over during the ceremony.

So please, if you are Jewish, perform the ritual circumcision on your sons as commanded by God, and perform it in the traditional manner. If you are Christian, then do not circumcise your sons, for as it says in God's Word:

"Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts." 1 Corinthians 7: 18-19

Matching Pairs

To me, this is the single strangest argument for circumcising a child: "But his father is circumcised!"

I just don't get this one. I have a brother and he and my dad certainly never compared their penises. When would this issue ever come up? One would hope that a father, rather than wanting his son's penis to look the same as his, would instead want what is best for his son.

The "locker room" argument is equally invalid, as the circ/uncirc rate in North America now is nearing 50/50. In 2006, 56.1% of newborn boys were circumcised in the USA.

No Reason to Circumcise...

Not one single medical organization recommends circumcision, but instead strongly recommend against circumcision. Many people will be hard-pressed to even find a doctor who will perform circumcision without giving you a very hard time about it, as it is so very unnecessary.

Paul M. Fleiss, MD, wrote an incredible article on the case against circumcision. It covers the issue clearly and thoroughly.

...But Every Reason Not To

The risks of circumcision are many, all for a purely cosmetic surgery that is recommended against by all major medical organizations. Circumcision can interfere with the success of breastfeeding. It affects an infant's behaviour, shattering their trust and leading to withdrawal and damaging the mother/infant bonding. It can have a multitude of complications, both physical and psychological. It is not worth it.

Please

Please, make a fully informed choice. Don't circumcise your son based on a myth or pressure from others. One of your duties as a mother is to protect your son, so please don't expose him to the risks and trauma of newborn surgery and life without a protective foreskin. It's there for a reason.

There are more resources than I could ever hope to list over at Mothering.com. The National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers and The Circumcision Information and Resource Pages are both excellent resources as well.

Knitting

2008-09-26T23:47:00.004-04:00

I've finally got back to knitting after putting it down for a year or so. And this time - get this! - I've finally started making things that aren't squares or rectangles.

I'm pretty much amazing, I know.

Tonight I used double pointed needles for the first time ever. Tonight was also the first time I picked up stitches to add something to a knitted piece. And when I bound off too tight, I was able to take out the bind off and redo it better.

For now, let's ignore the fact that after I bound off the second time, I discovered that the entire thing was too small, tight bind off or not.

D'oh.

When MIL was here in August, she helped me knit a diaper cover for the little guy. It turned out quite well.

"No Mom, I don't want you to lift my shirt up."

"Oh fine."

But I wanted to add cuffs to the bottom to help keep everything in the diaper better. This is where I left off tonight. I need to rip out the entire cuff and do it on bigger needles. It barely fits over the little guy's thigh as it is right now.

But at least I now know what I'm doing.

I recently managed my first successful start at knitting in the round with circular needles. I'm making at hat in these two gorgeous shades of blue.

I'm making it for the little guy, but we'll see how that goes size-wise. It might be keeping my ears warm this winter instead.

I also have these grandiose plans of knitting a sweater and a pair of pants for the boy. I have the wool and the patterns and everything - everything, that is, besides the courage to actually start knitting them.

But I've finished a couple more dishcloths since I started knitting again. That has to count for something...right?

I also made, just for fun, this silly scarf using 19mm needles.

It was a bit confusing to start with, but things all fell into place after a few rows.

Initially I just thought it would be fun trying to knit something with such massive needles. And it was! But more than that, it was intensely gratifying, as I was able to knit an entire scarf in a mere evening. My need for immediate gratification was happy. It's why I've never been able to finish projects in the past - the process is simply too long, the results just don't come fast enough. So an entire scarf in one evening? Very cool.

The scarf itself, however, was much less cool.

I sent it to my little sisters. They can play dress up with it or something.

My current major project is a blanket. I started making it with this yarn that initially made me go "meh". After a few rows, "meh" had turned into "blech". So I found some gorgeous yarn in a blend of blue and green and started again - I'm in love. I couldn't get the colours to look right when I was taking pictures of the blanket-in-progress, but this is pretty close.

It's a very pretty pattern.

It'll be a nice sized blanket when all is said and done. I'm learning to simply enjoy the process of knitting and the anticipation of a nice soft blanket at some point in the not-too-near future. It's coming along faster than I expected, though - which means that maybe it'll be done this year instead of the next. What can I say, I'm an optimist.

Maybe by then we'll have a new baby to snuggle.

One can always hope.