Queer & Loathing

Car Trouble

2009-02-16T12:31:00.002Z

Although my ambition to get my driver's license by Dec 2008 fell by the wayside somewhat, I have been doing lots of driving in the meantime. I went for my first "official" lesson in the past 6 months there on Saturday and was happy to hear that the instructor deemed my driving up to test-ready standard, which is fantastic. I've applied for the test (hurrah! I hear you all say in unison), with an extra "asap, cancellations please!" in the comments section so hopefully I'll get a slot in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, my poor little Punto needs some TLC after failing the NCT :( I was pretty pissed off actually, as I had previously bought two spanking new front tyres pre-NCT only to be failed on one of the rear-tyres, some problem with the rear brakes (who needs brakes anyway, I say) and an undetermined engine leak (more than likely a loose cap somewhere). This means I've to fork out more cash, but hopefully I'll be able to get it re-tested in a week or so and be back out terrorizing slow-moving pedestrians and wobbly cyclists.

On the work front, I don't think I've ever been busier. It seems as though every contract job we had lined up have all suddenly come in at the same time, which is great for the company, but not so great for me as it means a few crazy busy weeks ahead especially as all the shared responsibilities that come with being in such a small company often means double-the-workload for me.

Motivation

2009-01-05T11:12:00.003Z

Motivation does not come first, action does! You have to prime the pump.... Individuals who procrastinate frequently confuse motivation and action. You foolishly wait until you feel in the mood to do something. Since you don't feel like doing it, you automatically put it off.

Another Blow to Equality

2008-11-07T11:32:00.003Z

The passing of Proposition 8 in California saddens me greatly. Although it does not affect us over here directly, it is sure to have further repercussions throughout the US and does nothing but strengthen the anti-gay and anti-equality sentiments that seem to still prevail throughout the world today. While on our trip to San Francisco we observed a a huge amount of public support for the No on Prop 8 campaign, but obviously it was no match for the conservative majority within the state of California.

"Sadly, fueled by misinformation, distortions and lies, millions of voters went to the polls yesterday and said YES to bigotry, YES to discrimination, YES to second-class status for same-sex couples."

Final Statement from No on Prop 8 Campaign

By Request

2008-10-15T14:20:00.003+01:00

Following on from previous request(s) to cater to my audience (of 1)....

PS: I hate this stuff :)

Sia

2008-10-14T17:40:00.005+01:00

For those of you that follow this blog (i.e. Mac), you are well aware of my liking for Sia's musical stylings. Myself and the other half went to see her a few months back in Crawdaddy, a venue which is beyond intimate, where she played a great set. Apart from the great songs and surprisingly powerful voice for someone so pixie-like, she has a great rapport on stage and sings as though she's singing to a group of friends. Tonight we're going to see her again, this time at the renovated Button Factory (previously the Temple Bar Music Centre). I'm sure it'll be as good as, if not better, than the last time we saw her. Some nice, mellow, yet quirky music to enjoy on a shitty dark and rainy evening such as this. She's also being supported by Scott Matthew, who did a lot of the songs for the movie 'Shortbus' (a film which even I found pretty shocking in places, especially the opening auto-fellatio scene!) for those of you who have seen this film.

Here's Sia's latest single, Soon We'll Be Found:

4 Days

2008-10-14T17:34:00.001+01:00

getting closer...I can almost taste the pineapple

9 Days

2008-10-10T19:58:00.003+01:00

I gave my talk today, and it went quite well. I talked a tad too fast, but overall I got some tought, but good questions and people seemed be interested enough as there was 20 mins of questions/discussion after the talk. It's a relief as it means that I basically have the whole presentation wrapped up. I just have to make one or two changes to the slides and to focus the talk a little more, but I am delighted....

...plus there's only 8 days left till I jet off.

11 Days to Go....

2008-10-07T18:51:00.002+01:00

....and I cannot wait!

Sneezefest

2008-10-05T17:43:00.004+01:00

I cannot stop sneezing. I started on Friday night, just before we went out to the George to meet friends, and seriously, I haven't really stopped since. I've currently got tissue jammed in my nose to try and stop, not a pretty sight nor a pleasant feeling. I had previously decided that I would work on practicing my presenation and timing today, although I really don't feel in the best condition to be doing so. But, as Tyra would say, I gotsta just model on through. I had hoped to go see Tropic Thunder this evening, but I may have to put in on hold. There's always the second series of The Shield (which I'm really enjoying) to get through anyway.

Presentation done...well almost

2008-10-03T14:04:00.006+01:00

I'm feeling much better today than yesterday. I needed to get all that off my chest.

Plus, I finished the slides for my presentation for Hawaii, so that's a big task out of the way....well, almost. I still have to practice the actual content and timing, and have to add more slides for when I'm giving the talk to a more general audience next Friday where I've been booked in for an hour long presentation. At least it's mostly filler and general background information that has to go in, so it shouldn't be too hard as it's something I'm pretty familiar with.

I'm planning to take a break tomorrow and do some shopping for the trip to Hawaii. There's a few bits and pieces I've still to get and it will be handy to dedicate a day to give myself the chance to look forward to it, and to remind myself that it's going to be one hell of a (badly needed) holiday!

To represent my joyous (erm, well maybe joyous is a tad exaggeration) mood, here's the latest single from Girls Aloud's upcoming album. It's called the Promise and is very 60s, yet 70s sounding; very Bacarachesque. It's got a nice wall of sound-vibe about it; very radio-friendly, although perhaps not as exciting or inventive as their previous outtings. Here's hoping that the album will have a few electo-tinged stompers with multiple bridges/verses/choruses/codas thrown in for good measure!

Work Management

2008-10-02T17:57:00.008+01:00

Work seems to becoming increasingly pressurised. I'm finding myself working ridiculously long days - practically all day, every day, including weekends - rarely finishing up before 9pm. If I'm not doing work I'm doing something Pride-related. On my long work days, it is true that for a lot of days I don't actually sit down at my computer until 10am, and even then I don't start doing actual proper work until 10.30/11. Reflecting on the situation the panic over my current work load could be influenced by a number of factors:

I have a shit lot of work
Too much is expected of me
I expect too much from myself
I work too many hours
I don't actual do enough work when I am working
My time management skills are atrocious
I'm not actually enjoying any of my work

Thinking about if for a bit, if I'm completely honest, it's probably a mixture of everything above. I do have a lot of work to do, but I should really be concentrating better and focusing on doing blocks of work and being more disciplined.

I need finish up my working day earlier, take more breaks from the computer when I'm not working and at least let myself have a few hours off in the evenings so I can wind-down properly. To do this I do need to manage my work load a bit better, and manage myself a bit better.

I really am my own boss, so therefore I need to give myself a break every now and then, give myself credit where credit's due but at the same time, come down heavy on myself if I am fucking about. One of the things I do miss about not working in a larger business is the lack of structure or management. On the one hand, yes it is terrible to have someone breathing down your neck every 5 mins, but it does give you that incentive to get work done and imposes goals on you that you can, and must, stick to. Working for a small company also means I have a lot more jobs and responsibilities to take care of - I have to actively think about revenue opportunities, and chase any up, and if any opportunities do arise, it's me that has to carry out the work e.g. contract jobs, as well as any work that I need to be doing for our own company.

Working from home often makes time-management doubly hard. Sometimes it feels like I'm not really doing that much work, but then again, if I was working in an office Im sure there'd be my morning chat with people as I come in, the early morning coffee break, my hour(+) long lunch break, the afternoon break and numerous chats/interjections in between. In terms of breaks (apart from checking out popjustice etc. during the day, and ignoring the days where I venture into town for an extended lunch break i.e. the entire afternoon) I only regularly take about 30 mins off for lunch.

In most proper office jobs work is over as soon as you leave the office at 5pm. The finality of that is something which is very hard to get when working from home, seeing as the work is always sitting there, staring you in the face. I've read many articles on having a seperate working space where you can close the door at the end of the day, which I do have. However, shutting the door is often a lot easier said than done, and once there are any hours left in the day the temptation is always there to do more work.

The isolation is an additional factor - I have no colleagues, group or team that I can discuss problems and roadblocks with. If I have a problem, it's entirely up to me to figure it out and to come up with a solution. Yes, I do get occasional help from my boss, but the reality is I still have to do the practical and physical work, together with a lot of the brain work.

The last question I need to consider is do I really like the work that I do? That's a difficult one for me to answer. Really, I don't know anything else, having come into the job straight from my PhD, which I came into straight from college. I am good at it, there are aspects of it which I like and there are perks - the upcoming trip to Hawaii being one of them. But there are other aspects which I'm not too keen on, and some days I am gagging for a change; that's why it's great whenever I get the chance to work on things I am interested in - things like web design. This is where Pride can come in handy; it does take up a huge amount of my time, but it can be enjoyable and gives me a reason to pick up new skills and develop existing ones.

I guess at the end of the day, I am a bit hard on myself. I do need to really manage my time and goals better, but I also need to give myself an emotional and physical break every now and then. I am good at what I do. Yes, there is some serious need for improvement, but it is still a work in progress. I'll get there eventually.

Note to self: I must re-read this post in a few months to see if I'm still in the same situation, and also to encourage myself to be a bit more positive about it all.

Paper Writing

2008-08-12T14:21:00.004+01:00

This paper writing isn't going well at all. I think its a mixture of not having a clue where to start and the pressure of it all. Still have to book our flights too.

In the meantime, watch/listen to this for your ammusement. Note the Kat & Kim references.

Good Times/Bad Times ?

2008-08-05T17:16:00.007+01:00

I got some good, and some bad news this week. I found out that a proposal for a presentation I put in for a conference in Hawaii has been accepted. This means that I get to go to Hawaii towards the end of October for a week! Good times! How often does anybody get presented with an opportunity like this? I received confirmation when the organiser of the conference rang me to ask me some clarification questions about the presentation. He seemed really interested and enthusiastic about the presentation, so much so that he invited me to be a keynote speaker. Good times? No, bad times!

Now, don't get me wrong, this is a fantastic opportunity - especially for my company - in terms of raising the company profile - and to be invited as a keynote speaker is very prestigious. It's generally offered to people who have a lot of experience in research and in their field, and are generally considered experts in their respective areas. This is what makes me nervous. No, not nervous, terrified!

I get nervous at the best of times, when I give presentations. Generally, the nerves pass as soon as I start to talk and I ease into it. But this is a whole other kettle of fish than a simple presentation. It is an address to all the attendees at the conference, setting the theme for the particular session I'm speaking at, so if it goes badly, it's not as if I can slink off into the lei-filled night unnoticed. I know, as everybody has been saying to me, it will probably go fine, but it really is challenging my self-confidence and pushing it to the limit, so much so that after the aforementioned phone call I was on the verge of some sort of panic-attack. I literally felt weak at the knees and weirdly upset. As I've said I do get nervous and anxious occasionally, but nothing like this, and on the occasions that I have become extremely nervous I'm completely aware of the fact that it is nerves that are affecting me. It took me a while to realise that the prospect of being a keynote speaker simply terrifies me. In the past, if a talk didn't go particularly well, it only reflected on me poorly. However, this time around I'm not only speaking about my own work and findings, but I'm also speaking on behalf on my company, so I have an even greater responsibility to do well. This is the first time the company will have been represented on an international scale and as they say, first impressions are often everything.

To say I am shitting myself slightly, is a complete understatement.

Drink Your Sun-Fizz!

2008-05-09T15:49:00.003+01:00

I completely forgot about this advetisment. Absolutely hilarious!

In other news, to stem my lack of productivity I've picked up a copy of David Allen's Getting Things Done. With my already existing obsession with stationary, it looks like I may soon be a convert to the GTD cult...

Je Parle Pas Francais

2008-03-25T14:13:00.002Z

As if Girls Aloud couldn't get any better...
they've recorded their new single Can't Speak French, in French! How post-modern and fabulously ironic of them!

Here's the original video set to the french version of the song:

Step One, Check!

2008-03-13T14:39:00.004Z

Yay!

I passed my driver theory test today! I got full marks, so I'm well chuffed. I realise its only one small step of many towards getting my license, but still, it's a step!

Look out bitches, I'll be on the road in no time. All I have to sort out now is trying to find someone who is going to insure me for less that €1,200. Not an easy task.

Busking 101

2008-03-05T15:40:00.003Z

Check this out: Roisín Murphy doing a performance of You Know Me Better, the next single from her album Overpowered, on the streets of London.

In the words of PopJustic...amazing.

The album itself is pretty amazing too. Check out couple of reviews.

Cyanide & Happiness on Gayness

2008-02-27T13:30:00.004Z

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Stumbling Forth

2008-02-27T13:19:00.006Z

The arch supports, they do nothing!

My feet are still killing me. I'm going to give these arch supports (which incidentally seem to make my shoes fit less well which can't be a good thing) one more day. If my feet have not been completely managled by the end of today I'm guessing they're doing their job.

I know this is a pointless update, but I figured that seeing as I've started blogging again I should really keep the ball rolling, or stumbling forward at least.

Baby Steps

2008-02-26T15:51:00.002Z

As some of you may know, I was the lucky recipient of a car for Christmas - and no, I'm not from one of those familys that get ponies and such for Christmas. It's a '97 Fiat Punto. I took it as a subtle yet obvious hint that my parents think I, being 26, should really get off my arse and learn to drive.

I've been getting a few lessons of my younger (yes I know it is embarassing that she can drive and I can't) sister, and today I took the first of many steps to make my way onto the roads by applying for my theory test. I've been arsing around for ages reading the book and doing the CD-rom test, so I figured I should really set myself a deadline. I'm doing the test in two weeks, so hopefully all will go well.

Genetics

2008-02-22T19:03:00.009Z

I've been having really bad foot pain in my left foot for the past few weeks, so I decided to go and visit a chiropodist to get it checked out (by the way did you know that chiropodist pronounced k-iropodist? I obviously didn't from the look of puzzlement when I said the word to the...erm...foot doctor person).

Anywho, she informed me that I have extra high arches in my feet. Yes, some may say that this means my feet would look fantastic in heels, but unfortunately, and contrary to my occasional druken antics, a drag queen in the making I am not. It seems that I have the opposite to flat feet and am putting tons of pressure on the balls of my feet, hence damaging the soft tissue and giving me the pain I've been experiencing together with frequent shin splints with excessive walking/running.

She also informed me that it is genetic, and in keeping with the general trent in the family, any genetic problems seem to always get passed down to me. Why couldn't my family carry some kind of laser-beam-emmiting genetic trait or super-human strength? Is that too much to ask? Instead I got lumped with an immune-system that likes to eat up pancreatic cells and gammy feet. That's great. Just fucking great. With my ability to absorb/inherit genetic traits so well, it seems that I had all the opportunity to become a super X-Man like figure. Pity my gene pool has me more akin to Beak rather than, say, Nightcrawler.

Ah well, at least I can remedy the situation with discreetly placed insoles rather than my initial horror of thinking I'd have to wear those chunky orthopedic shoes that we used to slag the Jehovah Witness kid in school for wearing.

Renovatations

2008-02-15T14:59:00.004Z

As you may be aware, I'm in the midst of renovating this old blog. The next step is to actually start posting again. I should really start anew and clean up all of the ancient posts on here, but to be honest, I couldn't be arsed.

Currently I'm bolloxed tired and completely unmotivated. Thank God it's Friday at least! Plans for the weekend...well I've got a friends birthday party on tomorrow night and as for the rest, I plan on just taking it easy. We'll see how that one works out.

Buy It!

2007-10-19T13:35:00.000+01:00

I just picked up a copy of Róisín Murphy's new album "Overpowered" and I have to say it is a fantastic album. On the first listen I liked it, but by the third I am completely won over.

If you like sophisticated pop/electronic/dance this is one for you. It is in the same vein as Moloko's final album "Statues", but not as heavy-weight - it has far more variety and a little more soul. It's light enough on the ears to have it on in the background, and has enough quality dance-funk beats that you can really get into when you pump up that volume. The highlights of the album for me so far have to be the Andy Cato tracks (he being of Groove Armada fame) You Know Me Better, and the current single Let Me Know which has a fantastic accompanying video:

In other music news, Girls Aloud's new video has been uploaded to youtube for their forthcoming single "Call The Shots". It's an excellent mid-tempo track and a far more straight-forward track than their last single "Sexy! No, No, No...". I really love this track, but at the same time I hope they don't play too safe with the rest of the material on their new album "Tangled Up" which is shaping up to be another brilliant album, improving on the completely and horrifically underappreciated "Chemistry" album. Most people don't realise that they are more of an albums than singles band and alot of their best tracks (cf. "Some Kind of Miracle", "Graffiti My Soul", "Models") never see the light of day.

Myself and Alan are going to see them in G-A-Y on the 17th November. Can't wait for it. It will be great to get away before Christmas, seeing as we really only had a one-week holiday this year, and I know this Christmas is going to be tough giving everything that's happened this year. It's also a great distraction from my current unrelenting frustration with work. I miss optimisim.

Tech Madness!!!

2007-07-28T18:02:00.000+01:00

So I went and bought myself a shiny new Nokia 6300 phone. Previously I had the Moto Razr V3, which had just started to piss me off big time, mainly because when texting the predictive function was awful and response time almost as bad. So far I absolutely love the 6300. I was going towards a smart phone, but figured I was just going to pay extra for a load of features that I'd mess with for a week and then get fed up with. The main thing about the new phone that I really like is the screen which is super bright and has fantastic resolution, and texting is no longer a painstaking chore.

Following on from this shopping buzz I went ahead and bought a black Creative Zen Stone Plus. I was looking for a smaller companion to my iPod mainly for the gym.
The Stone Plus is similar enough to an iPod Shuffle, although it has an OLED display screen, an FM radio (with a resonable reception which can be a little bit crackly depending on your location and station), stopwatch, voice recorder and still the size of a pebble. One limitation is that you can't browse tracks while listening the music - if you move to another folder the player starts playing files in that folder.

You also can't actually browse tracks, only folders, but I suppose it is really only designed to contain one or two main playlists, but at 2GB you could potentially have over 200 songs on it - more than enough for what I need anyway - which can be put on the player using simple drag-and-drop. Another slight critisim is the response times when you are flicking through the menu are a tiny bit slow, but overall its fine. I suppose the real attraction for me though was the design - small, extremely light, smooth and, most importantly, shiny.

San Sebastian

2007-07-25T12:31:00.000+01:00

Here's just some photos from my trip to San Sebastian. It's such a beautiful place to visit, plus it was all-expenses paid and all I had to do was do a crappy 10 min presentation. Although it is a bit shitty going to these places on your own, especially when you don't speak the language and most people you're with don't speak English and you have to go out to dinner with them, while they all chat away telling jokes and all you can do is just sit there and smile along.

On the last night, completely against character, after paying €3.50 for what I thought was a glass of wine, when it was in fact the price for a whole bottle (which I, of course, polished off), I ended up going to a bar to have a drink, got chatted up by two tranny-hookers, then met some random people along the way (from here its pretty vague) and headed along to a party with them in a different bar before finally crawling back to the hotel at around 4am. Ah, good times!