Cheaper than Therapy--Musings of The Mom Jen

The 3-year-old's Christmas List

2009-11-29T12:20:00.000-08:00

Despite all the giggling, I finally got DQ to print out K's dictated Xmas list.

Here it goes in no particular order...

1. Barbies
2. Reindeer Dolly
3. Wand
4. Crown
5. Princess Dress
6.Wig (or Wick...either way, weird)
7. Guitar
8. Necklace
9. Cat Doll (or CatDog)
10. Cake
11. Ariel Book
12. SPACE SUIT (uh...yeah)
13. Darts
....

....and here's where it gets out of control...
14. Tigo
15. A Dot
16. A Bed
17. A Cage
18. A Dolly
19. A Band
20. K's
21. Peanut Butter Sammich
22. Kagoes
23. Clowlows
24. A Pony

...and many other things I'm pretty sure she made up.

But, if anyone knows where I can find a Kagoe or Clowlow, email me.

NOT a "Q" Again!!

2009-11-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

Be jealous.

Instead of waking at the butt-crack of dawn to shop amid hoardes of people...

We all slept in until 9am.

But, something you probably didn't get to experience was your youngest child having a tantrummy kind of day upon waking through midday.

And, tons of 8 and 11 year old fighting.

Alas, after a turkey-free lunch at Super Taqueria with extra hot-sauce, chill pills were passed around and it got significantly quieter.

Yesterday's Thanksgiving weather was a mild 70 well past 3pm which was so lovely.

Per usual, I stuffed myself silly and both my mom and I were a tad hungover last night and this morning.

Blame the Gewertzeminer.

But, today the weather changed and it was a cloudy, chilly fall day.

Still having had enough turkey for 364 more days, we went for salad, spaghetti, and bread tonight.

Plus a Scrabble-marathon continuing over from yesterday.

Hubby still gets haunted by that "Q" and never getting a "U" to go with it.

Dammit, why aren't there more words with Q in it!?

I usually get the "J" and the "Z" and often AIOEIOU, then have to redraw.

It's serious Friday night party action, I'm telling you.

Yesterday Yaya claimed that after a few glasses of wine, she got smarter in the game.

It's true. It happens to me too.

Diehards.

Gone are the days of Friday night poker, and bingo.

Scrabble championships here we come.

We've been talking about gifts for eachother and as romantic as it sounds, I think I may be getting an official Scrabble dictionary.

That definitely spells L-O-V-E.

A Thousand Thanks Thursday

2009-11-26T09:08:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I'm thankful for all of the people who stop by and read my blog. I hope you and your family have a wonderful day!

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Let The Santa Threats Begin

2009-11-24T13:22:00.000-08:00

In an hour our Thanksgiving break starts.

By break, I mean the kids are off school and all activities until next Monday and I don't have to shower until after 4pm.

Woo hoo!

It also means that candied yams, pumpkin pie, and rolls will be consumed like it's my last feast on earth.

Truly, is there not a better night for a meal all year, than on Thanksgiving?!

I think not.

And, as for that Black Friday shopping craze...not my thing.

I mean, you still need money to participate.

Oh and the crowds, no thanks.

I like shopping online.

No waiting, and getting frustrated driving all that way and having what you want out of stock!

But, you figured as much because I'm a homebody.

I do enjoy shopping, sorta.

Okay I don't.

I'm so turning into my husband.

Before you know it, I'll sprout chest hair and need to shave 4 times a week.

But anyhoo.

I can't believe December is next week.

Remember when I posted that I couldn't believe October was next week....then November.

Yeah, I've been repeating myself lately.

But holy time-flying-Batman, it's almost 2010!

TWENTY-TEN.

But first, Christmas.

We need to unpack our tree, spritz some Drakkar-Pine on it and start the Santa threats!!

"Santa's watching you tantrum K!"

"My Boy, clean your room or Santa might skip our house."

"DQ, one more sass like that and there'll be coal in your stocking!"

You know, the usual.

I need to come up with my list.

For myself.

Because, I'm the only one to surprise myself with a gift.

Usually my annual scrapbooking weekend is my treat from "the family".

72 hours alone with my photos and friends.

Unfortunately, this year I'm sacrificing it for a family baby shower.

But it's okay, I get to come up with something equally as good.

Maybe a couple's weekend to wine-taste in Napa?

That would have to be a Xmas/Bday/Mother's Day treat.

A girl can dream.

Any suggestions for me?!

Do you gift-yourself at the holidays?!

New Moon and Speedos and Jacob OH MY!

2009-11-22T02:44:00.000-08:00

I was just reading People's latest issue about the Sexiest Man Alive and came across a photo of Jerry O'Connell in a Speedo and gagged.

After I redigested, I thumbed through the mag, Johnny Depp...eh...

Brad Pitt and George Clooney...so over them.

Gerard Butler...so-so...

Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper...oh ♥ yeah...

But someone who was jipped...Joshua Jackson from Fringe!

He SO totally deserved to be in there, but whatevs.

I thought about writing about the perils of Speedos and how unattractive they are.

I mean, please leave something to the imagination instead of looking like a slug.

But, then I thought about the mini-skirt type bathing suit bottom I'm forced to wear after 3 children doing a number on my midsection and felt I shouldn't judge.

So I'll find something else to write about.

Like the mom of a cousin's girlfriend who recognized my oldest in the grocery store tonight and turned to me.. "I love your blog!"

I blushed.

DQ was so confused how this lady knew her.

You're sorta famous sweetie.

In a "on my blog" sorta way.

Anyway.

I'm getting ready to take in the most anticipated movie of the season according to some of my Twilight cronies and most of the teen-female population across the world.

New Moon.

My least favorite book of the Twilight saga, but looks like a lot of skin will be shown.

Chests...get your mind out of the gutter.

RPatz and Taylor Lautner without shirts on.

Now that's a good look.

Abs, a little chest hair.

That spot above the belt that shows the hip bones.

Forget the skimpy swimsuit look, bring on jeans and no shirt.

No mind that Taylor isn't even old enough to vote.

Ahem.

I've turned into a 15 year old bag of hormones.

Excuse me while I get my Edward tee, skinny jeans, and Chuck Taylor Converse on and head to the movies.

And don't tell DQ I raided her closet.
-----------
Update: The movie was so GOOD!

Edward fans, so sorry, this was Jacob Black's movie.

The bod.

A few girls discussing on FB that Edward's shirtlessness was a non-matching nipple disaster...I HAVE to see it again to check that out, I did not notice.

But, compared to Twilight, this was by far the better movie.

Kudos all around to the actors, and Jessica...hilarious!

I will sleep well tonight.

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-11-19T09:23:00.000-08:00

December, 2001 Someone's hungry!!

The Ghost Did It...

2009-11-18T11:31:00.000-08:00

So I was most worried about nightmares after taking my family to see A Christmas Carol.

It was a scary-ass movie for animation let me tell you.

Who knew comedian Jim Carrey would scare the crap out of me.

And, yes, K saw the movie.

But, we have been playing off the whole ghost thing to make her less scared.

"Ghosts are only in Canada" DQ tells her.

Yeah, K has no idea where that is or that she lives in the U.S....well at least can't tell you she does and comprehend it.

"Ghosts are just pretend" works a bit better.

But now Ghost is her go-to excuse.

You know when you read those cartoons and there's always a kid standing by a "ghost" kid that has NOT ME on it?!

Well, that ghost lives in our house now.

Everything that happens, K blames it on the ghost.

Or GHOSTIE as she's lovingly named it.

Recently I walked into the living room and it smelled of nail polish.

I immediately asked her what she was doing and she replied, "Ghostie painted the box" while hiding her pink polish-splashed hand.

Someone farted in the car the other day.

It wasn't me.

K was the only other person with me.

"Ghostie is stinkin' up the place!" she says.

So is it normal...just a phase...probably.

Associating a scary imaginary source with bad behavior takes the heat off of my poor girl who wants to keep her reputation clear of wrongdoing.

But, if I don't catch her right away, she'll tattle on herself, "mom! Ghostie is eating candy!"

So she's sorta honest-ish.

She'll grow out of it.

I hope.

Slumber(less) Party

2009-11-16T10:38:00.000-08:00

So my oldest turned eleven and talked me into a slumber party.

I've been promising my hubby for years now that we're going to tone down the birthday parties.

I love a good jumpy house, pinata, huge crowd type of kid's party.

That's what i'm good at.

Adult parties, forget about it...no clue what to do.

So this year we had 8 tweens for a sleepover and they are not the jumpy house, pinata type.

Pre-teens for goodness sake...they want music, food (OH they can EAT!), random items...i'll get back to that.

So my daughter gives me little on the "plan" and I don't work well without one. I'm completely freaked out that she'll have girls here for 21 hours and not a real plan. Yikes.

So the start time of the party is 1pm and end time is 10am the next day.

Girls start showing up at the door with sleeping bags, pillows, makeup, iPods and phones that are much much cooler than my own. sigh.

The running around, giggling, texting, iTunes, and chit-chat begins.

Luckily there was one planned event, t-shirt design. Cool.

By 3pm, the girls had done EVERYTHING my daughter had envisioned. PANIC. For me at least, they were fine with it.

I put in my earphones with my MP3 player so I could tune out and not eavesdrop. Not that I want to, but hearing less is more, trust me.

Dancing begins, singing, eating...more and more eating. I must have popped 6 bags of popcorn! Soda, a treat for the kids, went down quickly, cupcakes, gum, a dentist's nightmare of cavity-inducing party snacks.

Soon I hear a plan for "hide and seek at Target" and teams are being made up. Um...WHAT?! I do have to step in and be a mom and say, "sorry, but getting kicked out of Target isn't cool" and so they settle for shopping.

We get there and spend 45 minutes shopping for orange Crush, fake nails, and makeup.

The Dollar Store is next and we leave there with pedicure sets, nail polish, and silly string.

Pizza parlor and more soda and the girls are literally jumping off the chairs.

This may have been the time to send them all home, but alas they all came back to my house and bounced off those walls.

Makeovers and mani/pedis were happening and even a few girls came out of the bathroom with faces covered completely with blue and black makeup. Wow.

I flashed back to my eleventh year and thought that things sometimes never change.

More music, more food, Tiger Beat magazine, giggles and happiness filled the air.

Girls heading to bed at 2, 3, and 4am only to awaken at 8am for morning makeovers and pancakes!

"What was everyone doing at 3am?" I asked DQ....Eating...and talking. But of course.

Let me tell out of all 23 kid's birthday parties i've thrown for my 3 kids, this was byfar the easiest for me.

The girls had an incredible time and I was impressed how it stayed so drama free and I had nothing to stress about.

Oh and my 3 year old...wants a slumber party for all her classmates at preschool.

Twelve 3 year olds for a sleepover...hah...I draw the line right there. Not gonna happen!

Toddler Swap

2009-11-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

Seriously.

Who swapped my sweet-faced toddler with this tantrum-ing version of Chuckie!?

Some of you not familiar with Child's Play from the late 80's early 90's are all..WHA!?

Yeah, the rest of you may know what I mean.

My 3 and a half year old chubby-cheeked-ball of preciousness has turned into a little monster.

Holy bejeezus.

Someone doesn't like to be told no.

If by chance she asks something like, "can I have candy for bweckfist?!" and you tell her in your sweetest mommy voice, "sorry honey, that's not quite healthy" she turns into this tantrum-tornado who then likes to mouth-off, "THEN I DON'T LOVE YOU!"

Ouch.

You don't know how much that hurts.

Truly, I know it's just out of frustration and toddler determination, but man, just rip my heart out and serve it with fava beans and chianti why don't you?!

Another (probably incorrect) movie reference....Silence of the Lambs...come on keep up.

Anyway.

After I tell my sweet K, "oh man, that wasn't very nice to say" she continues to stoke her own fire by yelling the next threat, "well then I'm going to bite my Thumbert!"

Oh great, now she's inflicting pain on herself.

Fabulous.

How many years of therapy is this going to take!?

Still not going to let me mom? This next, "then I'm going to throw this juice cup across the room!" and not care if it hits anyone or anything!

Holy crap, who is this kid!?

And, boy do we need to channel that pitching arm into softball in a few years!

So, great, now what.

I lucked out with all 3 of my kids that they all skipped the Terrible Twos.

How did I get such angels, I'd ask the heavens.

But, each one of them has had this phase at three that truly makes me want to run away and join the circus and work with man-eating lions.

Hubby knows better to ask about my day lately.

If he comes home and I've locked myself in the bathroom to avoid getting hit by a sippy, he can figure out what's been happening.

I double-check with the preschool teachers to make sure all is okay there and she isn't stealing kids' snack or pouring sand down anyone's shirt.

She's a gem, they say.

Yaya says when she's at her house, she's fine, loving as ever.

Super.

It's just for me.

I'm so lucky.

If you stop by and I'm wearing ear plugs and a helmet, you'll know why.

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-11-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

November, 2005 Somewhere under the rainbow you can find sibling love.

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Eleven.

2009-11-10T10:59:00.000-08:00

Eleven years ago today I was in labor with my first child.

13 hours and not a clue if the baby would wear pink or blue upon leaving the hospital.

Neutral was the dominating color in the Noah's Ark bedroom closet.

The glider-rocker awaited many days and nights of bonding.

The crib was oblivious that it wouldn't see much action until 2.5 years later.

Our bed had no idea it was made for 3.

The recliner was about to embark on many midnight daddy-daughter snuggles.

Our stove top would soon find out how long it took to boil bottle nipples.

The walls in our house were about to echo newborn cries.

Our hearts were ready to be filled with love we never knew existed.

----
Today I'm am overwhelmed how fast the time has gone.

I have a beautiful, super-smart, almost-as-tall-as-I-am daughter who I couldn't be more proud of.

I look through scrapbooks of the memories of her first birthday, her first tooth, her first steps, her first day of school, her first best friend and weep a little.

A good healthy, love-filled weep.

Not only are her birthdays filled with presents, friends, slumber parties, cake, pizza, and all about her...

...they are a little about me too.

My memories, my aging, my growing up along side of her.

While I'm sure she loves getting older, I struggle to stop time and just hold on to these moments a little longer.

When we can snuggle on the couch, or share a laugh.

Because the next eleven will be here before you know it.

High school. College.

I can't go there.

Not now.

For now, we celebrate your birthday with a day off from school.

How many kids can say that?

For now, we'll eat pizza, cake, go mini-golfing and shopping like you wish for.

I love you my big girl!

Hiding in My Cave

2009-11-06T14:18:00.000-08:00

This week has been so incredibly blah.

And by blah, I mean, I'm eating like there's no tomorrow.

I mean comfort food is the only thing getting me through the week.

I can't stay awake for all the funny shows.

Each night I'm awakened on the couch by hubby telling me to go to bed.

And, it's like 9:30pm.

Is it the time change?

I'm thinking it is.

My youngest is rising by the light of day and falling asleep at 6pm.

My Boy's soccer coached called practice at 5:15pm for lack of daylight.

It's totally making me tired way too early.

So far "standard time" can suck it.

Do you think black-out shades in the morning and sun-lamps at night will help?

Makes me just want to hide out in my cave even more.

Did you know a few of my friends truly think i'm a hermit.

They worry about me and the relationship I have with my computer.

Like it's my only outlet to the outside world.

It is.

More and more lately.

You see, I'm totally getting social anxiety.

Bailing on social events for stupid things like lacking a cute outfit, not really knowing what to say, or just being away from home.

I'm more into writing...and texting.

I feel far more confident doing that than talking.

I texted Hubby last night at the dinner table to tell him his BBQ'ed chicken was fantastic!

He texted back "KEWL."

And then I said, "<3" and he was offended because he thought I was giving the chicken a less than 3 grade on a scale of 1-10.

"No honey that means LOVE, it's a heart if you turn it."

He texted a smile and said, "we're wasting minutes doing this."

So anyway.

I guess I need a vitamin boost to get me adjusted to this time change.

And, to get out more in the real world.

Okay, so...someone call me and invite me out. ;)

I'll leave my cell phone at home.

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-11-04T21:15:00.000-08:00

November, 2000 DQ turned two this year. Her FAVORITE toy she got for her birthday was her tea set. Whether she had someone to "drink it" with or not, she could play tea party for hours, days, months. This year she is turning 11. This year she will be 11 on 11/11. She told us, "it would have been so cool to be born in 2000. Then i'd be 11 on 11/11/11. Oh and no more tea sets, big girl is asking for an iPod. *sigh*

I'm a Non-Neat

2009-11-03T14:04:00.001-08:00

So I just got back from lunch with a friend.

And what am I doing?

Eating Frosted Flakes.

Straight from the box.

You should see the crumbs in the keyboard.

Speaking of crumbs, the candy wrapper issue in my car is careening out of control.

It's so hard being a non-neat.

What's even harder?

Being married to a non-neat.

I truly have aspirations to be tidy and organized, I really do.

But in reality, we're the messy family.

Our car mimicks our home on a daily basis.

Not unclean or unhealthy, just cluttery.

Unfortunately our kids have inherited the finish and toss rule.

I get angry, but they come by it honestly.

You should see K and My Boy's room.

All 6000 legos are on the floor.

I ask them to clean it, they start and then come out 10 minutes later to share their newest lego-creation.

They have a knack for structures, I'll give them that.

But, cleaning up...not so much.

Don't look at my desk.

It's organized.

My way.

I really know where everything is on it...and under it....and next to it.

Don't get me confused with hoarder though.

I don't have that problem.

Yet.

If It's November, Christmas is Around the Corner...AHH!

2009-11-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

November?! Already?!

Well, I knew it was coming.

Yesterday was October 31 for pete's sake.

It's all going to be a blur for the next few months.

Food, turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams.

Only 54 days until Christmas...oh mah gawd!

I'm not ready for it.

I'm going to hibernate, I'll be back March first.

I walked by the workers in Target putting out the Christmas lights and whispered, "this is nuts!" and I didn't think she heard me, but she replied, "yeah and it'll be 75% off on December 26th."

Have I done any Christmas shopping yet?

That's a big fat no.

Anyone who shops for Christmas in July can just take their brownie button and ...well...wear it.

I'm last-minute-lucy and dang proud.

Haven't made anyone go, "uh...thanks" with a disgusted look on their face yet.

Oh and now where do we go for our family Christmas photo?

Fireplace has been the locale for too many years now.

We need to get outside, jeans and red and green shirts (girls-red, boys green).

But, even before the best food holidays approach I have a sleepover to plan for 7 11-year-olds!

Talk about hard to please.

I've got to find alternate housing for My Boy and K that night.

Hubs and I may get banished to the garage.

Don't mind me these next few months...I'll be the one huddled in the corner.

Can't Put the Camera Down!

2009-10-31T14:58:00.001-07:00

It's one of those weeks.

Everyone and everything is getting photographed.

It's pumpkin carving time!

DQ's kitty cat.

My Boy going for the original Jack-o-Lantern face.

K chose a moon and stars theme.

That had her favorite letter on the back.

Big sis and her favorite logo of all time. PEACE.

My favorite part of the activity, roasted seeds!

My party dip needed a "hand."

The winning card!

Happy Halloween everyone!

The Candy is Whispering My Name!

2009-10-30T09:59:00.001-07:00

What's your favorite Halloween treat!?

This year, mine are...

I can't get enough!

In the past, I would put all our leftover candy into my oldest daughter's birthday pinata to "get rid of it!"

But, now that she's almost 11, the pinata thing isn't cool.

The temptation of it all just makes my thighs thicken as we speak!

Not to mention I'm in charge of fundraising at DQ's school and we have a Chocolate Bar and See's Candy event coming up all before Christmas.

Later today My Boy will come home with TONS of stuff from school.

My pre-schooler has a cavity-inducing bag of treat from yesterday.

They haven't even Trick-or-Treated yet!!

AHH.

I have no self-control.

I WILL eat it all.

I can smell it from my bedroom.

Or that might be the crumbs by my pillow.

Chocolate helps you sleep..or something.

I'm feeling a bit like Willy Wonka, only fatter and with boobs.

HALP!

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-10-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

Reason 3,187 why I have no clear understanding of higher math. I though "e" was a letter!

What a Treat!

2009-10-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

Luckiest girl in town!

K gets to wear her costume to dance class today.

Tomorrow, she gets to wear it to Preschool and trick or treat to our local downtown businesses.

These little ruby feet are too adorable for words.

She's worn the shoes everyday for a month.

Little red glitter about the house.

Dorothy, and her little dog too!

Catching Up on Fall Photos

2009-10-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

Finally some fall foilage and fun photos.

Say that 5 times fast.

Passing the time at soccer practice.

Giddy with happiness.

Cousins in a friendly competition.

Don't get a nosebleed.

Looking tough and playing tough, two different things.

Hubby's fave player, saw a lot of him.

Beautiful day in the Bay Area.

Ack.

Happy Fall.

Living With a Tween.

2009-10-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

Living with a TWEENager is like living with a great white shark.

They'll circle you and circle you until they attack.

Hormones and attitude and mood swings oh my!

Truly, you never know what they want.

At any moment there can be a fountain of tears.

A sudden rage.

A bountiful amount of hugs and kisses.

I'm so confused.

It's like walking on land mines.

"It's not fair!"

"I am SO old enough."

"You don't even care!"

"You don't understand!"

Oh I do.

I remember what it was like being you.

I was you.

Now I'm the mom.

*Sigh*

Actions-reactions-cause-effect-behavior-consequences.

House rules-family rules.

Why can't you go to a public event unsupervised!?

You are too young.

I know your friend's mom is letting her go.

It's not you I worry about, it's the other people.

You'll understand one day.

When you're a mom.

Car Twin

2009-10-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

If you have a white or black SUV you probably head to parking lots and go to the wrong car a lot.

See that didn't happen much to us.

We have a unique model and color car.

Well we HAD a unique car.

There are two other identical cars like ours in town now.

Our very small town.

One happens to drive a child to the same school My Boy attends.

The other shops at the same grocery store.

Our little car twins are all over town and it seems they are doing the same thing we're doing at the same time.

Crazy.

Our family jokes are always things like:

"Oh there WE go!"

"Wonder where WE are going today!"

"Oh look WE got new hibiscus seat covers!"

And random things like that.

We even wonder if the people in the other twin cars think the same thing about us.

They're probably saying,

"We had this car first."

"Our car is far cleaner!"

"Why didn't they get a black SUV."

Delusional right!?

I guess that's what happens when you're in the car 100 miles per week chauffering kids around.

You make up imaginary stories about other drivers.

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-10-22T06:50:00.000-07:00

May, 1999 DQ riding in style.

I'm Not SAD Yet.

2009-10-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

The sun has been hiding the past few days.

This means fall is here and the weather is changing.

This also means it's grab a blanket and cuddle on the couch with a book or movie kind of days.

I've completed a book already this month and working on my second (Julie & Julia by Julie Powell-We saw the movie, but the book is really different, better in that way that books always are.).

But, it feels nice to put a sweatshirt on and knee-high socks (yeah, so!) and feel the cool fall air on your face as you walk outside.

It's a change, a nice one.

But, in no time I'll be back to whining how the sun hasn't been out for 30 days straight and I'm getting affected by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

That's how I roll.

But, right now I'm relishing in the ever-changing colors of the trees, the smell of rain on the sidewalk, and the dark mornings where our double-layer of comforters entices me to stay in bed all day.

And, it's almost time to "Fall Back" too, an extra hour of sleep hooray!

Oh, and the big bags of Halloween chocolate at the stores.

Bulking up for the winter.

Do you fall for Fall?

Happy Birthday Hubby!!

2009-10-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

Today is Hubby's 36th birthday.

Right now there are yellow cupcakes in the oven with 3 eager kids ready to frost with vanilla frosting.

Hubs requested my beef enchiladas for dinner.

Today, we're just hanging out.

It's been a full weekend, with a winning soccer game, a lunch out, and some bowling.

For the past 5 years we camped for Hubby's bday, but this year it's all about getting healthy.

Star Wars is on the boob tube, and we've been playing rounds of Scrabble.

Life is good.