Rebel Raccoon

Freaky Fairy Tales

2008-12-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

Having a kid means reading to them. Reading to them means kids books. Kids books usually include fairy tales at some point (with lots of crying, biting fussing and hitting ... for an example see any reality show).

I am at that point (kids not crying), and have my jaw to the ground after reading some of them. Let's look at few more closely as adults now shall we?

- The Ugly Duckling: Everyone shuns her because she is ugly as a kid but then grows up to be beautiful and now is paid attention to. So the message is that if you are not good looking at any point in your life then buy lots of kleenex - as you'll need it - or make friends with a good plastic surgeon. Then you will be ok in life.

- Rudolph: He was different and not accepted for it. He went through a difficult time. When his different-ness actually helped the group out, then they all loved him. So if you are different, prepare to suffer. If your different-ness never results in a gain for anyone then you will suffer. Even if it does at some point you will suffer most of the time. Either way you will suffer so try to be the same as everyone else.

- Little Red Riding Hood: So here you have a warning to all girls not to become a 'sl*t' or be sexual, or feel your sexuality, or even realize sex exists because if you do then a wolf will probably eat you (after swallowing your grandmother first) but then you can be saved if a hunter (prince charming = man to save you) or a strong man cuts open the wolf and pulls you both out from his bloody guts.

Then, after reading this, you kiss your child on the forehead, turn off the light, smile warmly and say, "good night" and leave them alone. Guaranteed to give your child a great night's sleep every time.

And we wonder why kids are reading less these days....

- RR

Watch Commercials Closely

2008-12-03T05:50:00.000-08:00

If you really pay attention to commercials (instead of just watching them on autopilot) you'll see that most of them help to make us feel good about their product but at the same time horrible about ourselves. Kind of like religion.

Look closely and you'll always see the person who chooses the advertiser's product is usually:

- Younger, thinner, prettier, cooler, better dressed, has a better looking partner, more composed, full head of hair, bigger boobs, laughs like Ricardo Montalban, etc...

The less desireable person in the ad always is wrong and chooses the other less-worthy product. Now you might say that it is good marketing for advertisers to associate their product to these sexy images but the price you pay is that you get to hear the message (over and over thousands of times) that GOOD & WORTHY & ATTRACTIVE is associated with that list of qualities above and if you happen to be, by any chance:

- Older, heavier, don't look like Ken & Barbie, anxious/depressed/, not rich enough to buy the best clothes, a less than perfect partner, balding, flat-chested, skin problems, glasses, a voice like Erkle or any other imperfections at all then that means that YOU are also a LOSER just like the characters in the commercials who choose the 'other' product.

We get this message over and over thousands of times since we are young and it is hard to combat let alone be aware of it working on us. We start to feel like 'less' and look up to pretty people and become depressed and anxious to make ourselves perfect. How perfect? As perfect as a Euro-dude who just spent 6 hours at the spa manicuring his whole body to tell female tourists at night that 'zey are ze most beautiful sing in ze vorld and it is ze first time zey feel zis way ... honest'

Watch commercials more closely and see.

BTW ... I wonder whatever happened to my champion the WHERE'S THE BEEF LADY.

- RR

About This Blog

2008-03-06T15:38:00.000-08:00

	I created this blog because the internet doesn't have enough already and after this one it should be saturated. "Another blog ... surely you can't be serious?" I hear you say. I am serious ... and don't call me Shirley. It's not going to be a heavy blog but it will be both serious and funny. As serious as a hockey dad and as funny as a contractor getting the work done on time and under budget.
So, enjoy the posts ... leave a comment (disagreements are welcome too) and tell a friend. You can also send me your rants which, if they are of interest will be posted here. If you send me a nasty email I will have to release 'Chuck Norris' on you who will show you no mercy. - Rebel Raccoon

Contact Me

2008-03-06T10:23:00.001-08:00

To contact me just send an email to the address below:

rebelraccoon (AT) gmail.com