99 and Barry

Coughs and Sneezes Spread Diseases

2009-04-25T13:26:00.002-06:00

Cover your fucking nose when you sneeze! Right, I'm talking to you! Also, water doesn't kill germs; soap does. Swine flu comes from the pigs who don't wash. So wash your fucking hands with soap and warm water after you use the toilet! Awright? Sheesh. How many times do I have to tell you people?

Sneezing In Ultra Slow Motion - Watch more Funny Videos

Ok. I'm fine now. Sorry I got so upset.

Blasphemy Inspirational Poster

2009-02-26T17:22:00.002-07:00

Via ak2co

And while we're on the subject, here's a cover of YMCA in Cantonese.

Microsoft Destroys Music

2009-01-18T11:09:00.003-07:00

They are beta-testing a new app called Songsmith. It allows you create songs by singing into your laptop. Here's the into video:

Ok. How do we approach this?
1) A travesty that will reduce the art of songwriting to computerized drivel that any tone deaf 8-year-old can do, provide another reason to stop talking to each other, and destroy the fabric of society.
2) A cool new tool for culture hacking, similar to Dictionaraoke

I choose option 2. To wit:

Star Wars Summary by Someone Who Hasn't Seen the Movies

2009-01-17T20:13:00.002-07:00

Courtesy of Joe Nicolosi, a description of the three Star Wars movies by his friend Amanda.

The Power of Editing

2009-01-09T15:31:00.001-07:00

Think you can judge a movie by its trailer?

Mozart on Skates

2008-12-31T22:31:00.001-07:00

Words has it that Mozart started composing on skates before he discovered the pianoforte.

Shoo!

2008-12-14T19:31:00.003-07:00

I've seen this a couple of hundred times and he never hits him. It's clear he didn't spend enough time out at the shoe range. What a loafer.

More More Cowbell Distractions

2008-11-15T19:45:00.002-07:00

Like us, you search out anything related to the SNL cowbell sketch. We just found a site that allows you to upload an MP3 and add more cowbell and Christopher Walken clips. Stupid and fun.

New Member of the Family

2008-11-08T22:06:00.002-07:00

When is a dog not a dog? When it's a robot.

We adopted a dog a couple of days ago. We drove to the animal shelter in Englewood. It was a horrific experience, by the way. It's the kind of place they use to film the "oh, won't you adopt these sorry animals" commercials. Poop everywhere. Nothing but concrete, chain link fences, and sick animals. We found a pure bred Boston Terrier who charmed our pants off. Without pants, we had no choice but to grab her and whisk her back to Boulder, the land of yard sign recycling and organic dog food. We quickly named her Robot, in honor of robots. The vet said, "You lucked out. She's a $1,200 dog!" We hit the jackpot! After two days of Robot, we quickly realized that, even at $1,200, she was a bargain. She's very sweet. She will lick the face of anyone in her path for a half hour. She hasn't barked yet. She knows how to play Parcheesi.

Thanks to the shelter:
Eye infection
Vaginitis
Intestinal infection
Kennel cough

Two types of antibiotics, an eye medicine, and a plastic cone should do the trick.

There! I Did it.

2008-10-30T18:05:00.002-06:00

Vacation Photo

2008-10-24T19:29:00.003-06:00

This is how we spent our summer vacation.

Palin Songs

2008-10-24T11:27:00.000-06:00

What We're Up Against

2008-10-19T11:06:00.004-06:00

Ohio and Pennsylvania, apparently, aren't ready for a second string, baby-killing, white-hating, terrorist, black radical, socialist in the White House.

The Most Deeply Satisfying Video I've Ever Seen

2008-10-14T08:55:00.000-06:00

Shanahan's Secret Revealed

2008-10-05T16:51:00.002-06:00

We finally figured out what's on that card that Mike Shanahan always holds on the sideline...

"Yeah... I'll have the shrimp chow mein, the kung pao chicken... is that real spicy? Oh, ok. Never mind. Let's see... let's get the mu-shu chicken instead, an order of egg rolls. Better make that two orders; my wife loves your egg rolls.

Alright. That'll do it. 45 minutes? Great. Thanks."

RX Does It Again

2008-10-01T17:56:00.001-06:00

Sarah Palin Interviewed by Katie Couric

2008-09-30T19:59:00.000-06:00

Jewish Relatives in Florida? Watch this.

2008-09-27T14:02:00.000-06:00

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Home Movies

2008-09-13T15:49:00.002-06:00

Creepy? Sure. Incessant repetition makes it even more fun.

The World Is Magic

2008-09-05T13:25:00.004-06:00

Lovey

Haiti

Could It Be? Nawww....

2008-09-04T08:11:00.001-06:00

Drill, Baby! Drill!

2008-09-04T08:02:00.004-06:00

Embarrassing. What would Republicans be chanting if they wanted to promote procreation?

Palin Plays With the Big Boys

2008-09-02T17:26:00.005-06:00

The next presidential loser's running mate says, with one picture, "there's nothing you can do to me with Photoshop that I haven't already done!"

Update: Here's the bird's eye lowdown on this caper: http://rightwingnews.com/mt331/2008/09/this_is_the_sarah_palin_bikini.php

Coughing Up Blood. Prognosis Unclear

2008-09-01T12:16:00.003-06:00

When is a blog not a blog? When it's ajar.

At least we're not alone.

McCain: "It's Condominiums Where -- I'll Have Them Get To You"

2008-08-21T08:15:00.003-06:00

Apparently, Knuckles forgot where he lives. "Excuse me, mister. Can you take me to my mommy? I don't know where I live!"

From Huffington Post:
John McCain said in an interview with Politico on Wednesday "that he was uncertain how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own."

"I think -- I'll have my staff get to you," McCain said. "It's condominiums where -- I'll have them get to you."

The answer, according to the group Progressive Accountability, is an even 10 homes, ranches, condos, and lofts, together worth a combined estimated $13,823,269.