Stories From Papi

Tales of Egroj - The Stones of Edun

2008-06-28T12:51:00.004-06:00

Egroj suddenly found himself falling into Sensuois Nocnu.

Sensuois Nocnu was a dream-like place that would capture the victim for an arbitrary amount of time. Sensuois Nocnu was built by Emit. Emit was not a friend of Egroj, and was not going to release him any time soon.

Someone would have to get him out. That can happen several ways, but you are probably wondering how he got in, right? So am I.

Well, Egroj had been wandering, looking for something, but not knowing what exactly, when he came upon a nicely stacked pile of stones. As he took a closer look, he realized they were stones from the Edun Sea.

These stones were smooth, soft, warm, and kinda tingly when you touched them, especially with your tongue. Apparently, this was something to do when you were looking for something to do.

Licking Edun Stones was tricky business. One has to lick only for a moment, then stop licking quickly before the stone's tingliness overcame the "licker", and plunged them into Sensuois Nocnu.

Egroj wasn't very good at taking his tongue off at the right time, and found himself many times waking up next to an Edun Stone.

It was a good thing that Edun Stones were rare, and not laying around everywhere, or Egroj would not have been a very productive member of society.

Little did Egroj know that Emit had set this trap using the stones as bait, along a path he knew Egroj would be wandering on.

Well, Egroj unsuspectedly put his tongue on one of the Edun Stones, and as usual, held it too long, and slipped into Sensuois Nocnu.

Usually Emit would release whoever fell in after a little while, but when he realized it was Egroj, he was very happy.

Egroj woke up, this time not on the path next to an Edun Stone, but on the muddy shores of the Edun Sea. He couldn't move, so he just waited.

Meanwhile, Princess Eel was trading words with Regna. Regna was trying to force Eel to tell him where Egroj was, but Eel wouldn't tell him. He was trying to grab her, but he had very poor eyesight, and it was very easy to avoid his hands.

Also, he had to be careful not to move too quickly or strain himself.

Regna was upset with Egroj for tossing him a vial of Aeeraid, whichfell to the floor and splashed onto Regna's foot, causing sharp, bubbling stomach pains, panicked mandatory visits to the land of Teliot (if you could make it) and an immediate fear of Stoot Diuqil, who was a formidable opponent. Regan had meant to catch the vial, but with his eyes being so poor, didn't even see it coming.

So you understand why Regna was upset.

Regna promised to Eel not to hurt Egroj and she told him that she had a way to find the Anti-Aeeraid solution.

Eel took Regna into her home and found a pair of Egroj's Stnap Rednu. She rolled them up and forced them into a cup of Trop Elet.

She then dropped in a couple of drops of Rednif and watched with a smile.

She put her fingers into the cup and pulled out a vial of Regnirb.

Meanwhile, Egroj was thinking about drinking some Retaw. He had become so very thirsty. He was thinking about lifting himself up to crawl over to the Edun Sea and have himself a drink when he felt something being taken out of his Jolly Sack.

Eel had taken off the lid of the vial and dropped one drop into the cup containing Egroj's Stnap Rednu.

Egroj suddenly felt as though he was being pulled to the sky. He watched the Edun Sea with its muddy shores get smaller and smaller as he flew straight up toward the clouds.

Suddenly, the cup exploded and Egroj appeared in its place, then instantly flew up to the ceiling and stuck there.

Egroj opened his eyes and looked around bewildered, finally noticing two figures standing on the ceiling.

He rubbed his eyes to try to clear his view and see who they were, and came crashing down to the ground, right between the two figures.

Once he figured out who they were, he stood up and gave Eel a hug.

"Thank you for bringing me," he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

"You are welcome," she said.

"That sounds like Egroj," said Regna with a grunt, turning his head toward Egroj's voice.

"Hello, Regna," said Egroj.

Regna just glared toward Egroj's voice, caferul not to make any sudden moves.

Egroj took a step back. Eel reached over to Egroj's hand and grabbed out of it the Edun Stone he had been gripping so tightly.

She secretly dropped it into a cup of Retaw and held it up to Egroj.

"Egroj," she said to him with a wink. "I promised that you would give Regna the anti-Aeeraid solution, and he promised not to hurt you."

Egroj winked back at her. Regna had no idea all this winking was going on.

Egroj reached into his Jolly Sack and pulled out Rednes solution and dropped a drop into the Retaw.

"That should do it," said Egroj, replacing the lid back onto the vial.

"Here, Regna," said Eel, and placed the cup into his hand.

He drank it and immediately was gone...cup and all.

Eel and Egroj stood there in silence for a few moments.

"It's good to be home," said Egroj.

"Did you find it?" said Eel.

Egroj was already digging in his Jolly Sack, and produced a small lump of what seemed to be white clay of some sort.

"Well," said Eel. "Come on, how does it work?"

Egroj rolled the clay stuff up into a long tube and got close to Eel. He shoved one end into Eel's ear and the other end into his own.

The clay stuff was a Renetsil, and by putting it in each other's ears, they could hear what they were thinking.

Their expressions told the rest of the story.

Both Eel and Egroj looked confused, like they were listening to another language, squinting, then they looked surprised, their eyes wide open, then they both smiled.

Egroj closed his eyes and looked very peaceful, so did Eel.

Then suddenly, Eel's face became red as an Otamot.

The End

Tales of Egroj - The Gniklat Sea

2008-06-26T11:42:00.002-06:00

Leafar the Smart and Egroj had just finished eating some Azzip Revotfel, and had just sat down on Leafar’s very comfortable Chuoc Rethael.

“Well, I’ve never been there, I’ve only read about it in old books, but it’s supposed to be very beautiful,” said Egroj. “Why?”

“I’d like to show you something,” stated Leafar.

Leafar the Smart stood up and motioned to Egroj to follow. Leafar stepped out of Egroj’s way and nodded, extending his hand toward the door. Egroj walked past him and they walked toward the Denetyrf Forest.

On the way, Leafar pointed out many things that were true about the trees, bushes, rocks and wind that passed them.

“Egroj, a Tephorp has told me that something is going to happen to our town,” said Leafar. “But he didn’t say what it was…if it was good or bad.

Egroj was listening.

“I need you to find out for me,” said Leafar.

“How can I do that?” asked Egroj.

Before Leafar could answer, if he was planning to answer at all, the forest cleared and they reached the shore of the hidden and mysterious, legendary Gniklat Sea.

“This really is beautiful,” gasped Egroj, forgetting what Leafar had just said.

Leafar let him enjoy the view.

Egroj started to take off his clothes. This was normally not something to be alarmed about, Egroj was known to take off his clothes…usually for some complicated and purposeful reason, but Leafar knew Egroj’s intentions.

“Egroj,” said Leafar calmly. “Do you see the signs?”

Egroj had just untied his Jolly Sack when he turned his head and noticed a sign that he didn’t think was there when he arrived. Egroj read the sign.

“PLEASE DO NOT SWIM.”

Suddenly it seemed there were many of these signs all along the shore. In fact, Egroj realized that the whole shore was packed with the signs. Somehow he had missed them as he walked up to the shore. He figured that he had been so focused on swimming that he hadn’t even see them.

“If it is such a big deal to not swim, then why is there no fence?” asked Egroj. “Or why is this place not better hidden?”

“Egroj, a fence would take away the beauty of this place,” said Leafar.

“And the signs don’t?” demanded Egroj.

“You will not see the signs when you can see past what they are declaring,” said Leafar. “You are angry and frustrated right now, and so the signs are obvious.”

Egroj started to count the signs.

“There is no need for the signs,” said Leafar. “They merely point out the fact that you want to do the opposite. They will disappear in time.”

Leafar looked at the sun.

“I must leave you.” He said, and he left.

Egroj didn’t question Leafar’s need to leave, of his haste in leaving.

Egroj quickly turned back to the beautiful Gniklat Sea. It was a fantastic view. The Eguh Trees surrounding it so tall and majestic. The Deppac Wons Mountains on the horizon framing the breathtaking scene. The water so calm and inviting.

The signs weren’t very pretty though. And there seemed to be more and more of them at every moment. Egroj was strategising on how he could get past them

Egroj finished taking off the rest of his hot, sticky and sweaty clothes, and ran toward the sea. His plan was to dive in, but signs kept popping up and getting in his way. They seemed to be slapping at him and trying to trip him, but he prevailed…barely.

His toe made it into the water. For a moment, it was nice…just as he had expected, but then immediately, it felt like he had just eaten an Oñepalaj fruit. He was burning up inside.

As he backed away from the shore fanning himself, he noticed something happening to the sea.

The water had turned orange, and was bubbling and rolling like an overflowing pot of Klim.

Churning, waving, spewing.

Then something even more strange happened. Animals from the Gniklat Sea began popping out of the unconcealably orange water.

They were piling up on the shore. Hundreds of them.

Egroj recognized some of them from his schooling. No one had ever actually seen them before. Mostly it was just a theory that the animals existed. But apparently someone had either seen them or dreamed about them or something, because here they were.

He began to hear what sounded like voices. Yes, angry voices…coming from all around the seashore.

One of the sea animals, which had landed uncomfortable close to Egroj’s foot, began to speak directly to Egroj.

“We put those signs up on purpose,” it shouted. “You are a Tlusni!” it yelled.

“He’s over here,” it yelled to the other animals on the shore.

“You are a Tramston!” Yelled another.

“And a Nam Yllis,” yelled another.

Many other angry animals flopped over to where Egroj was standing. They were all yelling angry things at Egroj. Some he had heard before, but most had never been directed to him.

He began feeling very bad.

So bad, in fact, that he ran away. Away from he shore and all those yelling animals, and into the Denetyrf Forest. He ran straight through Leafar’s town, which seemed to be abandoned, and into the Desert of Noisser Ped. He found an Evac deep in the dessert and hid himself.

The thing about the Dessert of Noisser Ped is that Regna ruled there, and once he knew you were in his dessert, he would fill your mind with his thoughts. This was a place where true feelings were silenced by Regna. This was also a place where Emit visited often.

Emit would fool the observer into thinking that he had just arrived, while Ragna would occupy his mind with pointless ideas that were not true at all, or so twisted and complicated, that they did not resemble the truth anymore.

Egroj was stuck there. He was stuck there for a long time. Long enough for the Sreitp Menwot to come and force the good people of Leafar’s town to leave. Long enough for the remains of the town to become hills and fields and shrubbery.

Egroj became distracted by a white Kud. This Kud had been trying to convince him that he was carrying a plate of Azzip, and Azzip was Egroj’s favorite food. Egroj was not convinced. In fact, he was arguing with the Kud that he in fact was not carrying a plate of Azzip. Kuds don’t have arms, so Egroj thought his argument was better than the Kud’s.

Suddenly, a thought of Princess Eel came into Egroj’s mind. Last time this happened, Emit and Regna took it right out, but Egroj figured out a way to hide it from them this time.

Egroj pretended to be watching the Kud, and stood up and began walking.

Emit and Regna must have been sleeping, and Egroj had gotten really good at not waking them with Snoitome. So the Kud followed Egroj, and Egroj kept walking.

The thought of Princess Eel led Egroj to the edge of the dessert. As he stepped out of the dessert, he could hear the sea animals again, and that frightened him. He could feel his mind clearing up a bit.

The Kud had stepped out of the dessert as well.

Egroj’s mind was still spinning. He needed to travel to the town of Retfal. That would fix everything. But he couldn’t remember how to get there.

“Egroj,” Said a sweet smelling voice.

Egroj looked up to find that the Kud had turned itself into a wrinkled, slouched and wobbly old woman.

“Are you the Kud?” asked Egroj, looking around for the Kud.

“Not exactly,” she said. “I am Eel. Appearing to you as a Kud was so you would be distracted.”

Egroj was confused. He squinted his eyes at her, then looked around her.

“So where’s the plate of Azzip?” asked Egroj, still foggy.

The Princess didn’t acknowledge his silly question.

“When I heard that you had run into the Dessert of Noisser Ped, I went in after you,” she said.

“I battled Emit for a long time,” she said as she looked to her wrinkled hands. “But I was able to bind him momentarily so you could hear me calling you.”

“It’s really you?” asked Egroj, and he hugged her hard. He was so happy to see her.

“I’m so happy to see you,” he said.

“I know,” she said with a little smirk. “You always are.”

Eel flicked the long white hair out of her face.

“Egroj,” she asked. “Do you have the Vial of Revasyad?”

“Yes,” said Egroj. “It’s in my…” Then he realized that he had left his jolly sac on the shore of the Gniklat. In fact, he was in such a hurry he had run off without putting his clothes back on.

“You have to go back,” said Eel. “Not just for the vial.”

“I know,” said Egroj. “I know.”

Egroj stood motionless for a moment.

“Can you get it for me?” asked Egroj trying to look as pathetic as possible.

“You know I can’t,” said Eel. “Plus, I need a nap.”

Eel collapsed next to a Retropsnart tree and was asleep before she hit the ground.

So Egroj left her, walked through the empty landscape that used to be Leafar’s town, and ducked into the Denetyrf Forest, the whole time trying to block out the angry yelling of the Gniklat sea animals.

He reached the edge of the forest and had to shield his eyes from the bright orange that was the Gniklat Sea. The animals were all there. The Eguh trees were all wilting…things were not happy here. They smelled him right away and began hurling their words at him again.

He tried to hide behind a Gnidih tree, but the angry words went around it, and right into Egroj’s ears, giving his ears quite a Knaps.

He could see his Jolly Sack, and his clothes, but he couldn’t reach them without going out into the open, and those angry words hurt when they hit him.

He could hear some of the mother animals crying for their babies. He could hear baby animals crying for their mothers. He could hear father animals trying to comfort their families.

Egroj began to cry. He had done this. All because he wanted to swim.

Egroj looked up at the piles and piles of angry and helpless Gniklat sea animals and whispered, barely audibly: “I’m sorry.”

The yelling suddenly stopped. The orange sea turned clear again. The trees perked up and the signs started disappearing.

The closest sea animal, which was also the loudest, said to Egroj, “Oh, no worries, have a great day.” And he hopped back into the pool, as did the piles and piles of animals that had gathered on the shores.

The sea was calm again. It was quiet. Everything was back to normal. Oh, except Egroj needed to get dressed.

He got dressed, strapped on his Jolly Sack, and ducked back into the Denetyrf Forest, but only after taking one last look at the beauty of the Gniklat Sea. It was so beautiful with all signs gone.

As he stepped out of the forest, Leafar’s town appeared. Egroj was confused.

“Egroj,” called Leafar.

“Leafar?” said Egroj. “Why is your town here? It was gone.”

“What do you mean,” asked Leafar. “Did you go swimming?”

“How did you know,” asked Egroj.

“Swimming the the Gniklat Sea is a mysterious adventure. The sea is the Noitacav home of Emit, so the swimmer is plunged into Emit’s world for a moment, and as you know, a moment for Emit could be whatever he wants.”

Egroj was processing.

“So, you passed through our town during your adventure with Emit?” asked Leafar.

“Yes, I did,” remembered Egroj, a bit embarrassed.

“Did you see anything you can tell me?” asked Leafar.

Egroj thought about having run though the town without clothes on. Then he thought about how it appeared abandoned, then he thought about the Sreitp Menwot.

“Oh, yes,” said Egroj. “The Sreitp Menwot are coming.”

“Thank you for the warning Egroj,” said Leafar. “I must warn my people.”

Egroj said goodbye, and then immediately wondered if Eel would be waiting at the edge of the dessert where he had last seen her.

He could see a figure leaning onto the tree. It was Eel. She had picked a fruit from the Retropsnart tree and was taking a bite.

“Don’t eat that,” yelled Egroj as he accelerated his step.

But it was too late. The beautiful, flowing, sweet smelling Princess Eel had disappeared into nothingness. Well, she wasn’t gone, she was just somewhere else. That’s the effect of eating the fruit from the Retropsnart tree.

They would find each other again, they always did.

So, now Egroj had to figure out what to do next. He adjusted his Jolly Sack and wandered toward the next town.

The End

Camel Notices Something

2008-06-17T08:00:00.002-06:00

Once there was a camel who ran free in the desert, feeling lighter than air, fully refreshed and rejuvenated, his thirst completely quenched and more purposeful than ever.

But he wasn't always like this. Let me start the story over.

Once there was a camel who lived in the desert. He was fairly content. He like the way the sand dunes moved a few feet every year. He liked the adventure of looking for and finding water. He liked the way the land in front of him sometimes looked like it was a mirror.

He didn't necessarily like it when he came across his own footprints in the sand, and he didn't like it when other animals pooped in the watering holes.

Well, one hot and dry day, he awoke to find himself with a load on his back. The truth is, the load had always been there, he just didn't always notice it. You know how that is, like when something stinks, but after a while your nose sort of turns off and you don't smell it anymore.

But today, the pack seemed heavier. He didn't actually know what was in the pack, but something was jabbing him in the side, and he could hear toys and games clinking and sliding around as he walked, and some tinkling He couldn't remember if there was anything of use in the pack, but he carried it nonetheless. It's all he knew to do.

Camel stood up, grunting under the weight of the load, and decided it was time to find water.

He knew of a couple of places in the vicinity that had water, but he was up for an adventure. So he decided to brave the large dune to the East. He had heard of an Oasis a couple of days walk over the dune.

The first few hours were easier than the next few hours, and the first day was easier than the second day, but he trudged along, knowing that the water was waiting for him.

As he reached the peak of a smaller dune, he noticed a figure far off in the distance. He knew not to get excited, it would be hours before he would even know if they were walking toward each other, and then another few hours before they would meet. So Camel occupied his mind with counting games his father had taught him.

How many breaths it took to reach a certain number of steps, then multiply that by the number of heartbeats that took place for every four steps, then divide that by the number of birds he saw flying around, which would change the whole equation every time he saw another bird.

He had another one that included bones and blinking, and another that had to do with how many times he thought of the word "Mochila", which wasn't very often, but you'd be surprised...it did come up. This made for an ongoing proccess where he had to remember how many times he had heard the word. I think he was at 7. Mostly it was when he heard someone say it, although when you are by yourself for long periods of time, words can get stuck in your mind where you say it over and over, and if that happened to "Mochila", that number could climb to 500 easy.

All those hours came and went, and Camel found himself off in number land when the figure he had seen hours earlier was standing in front of him.

It was Jackal.

"Hello Camel," said Jackal. "It's been a long time."

"Yes it has," said Camel. Camel didn't like Jackal. He couldn't remember why, though.

"I see you're still carrying the load I gave you," said Jackal.

Camel suddenly remembered why he didn't like Jackal.

"Hmmff," grunted Camel as he started to step to the side to get around Jackal and keep going.

"It looks like it's made you strong and confident," said Jackal. "And happy?"

Camel though about it and he did feel stronger. And he in fact did feel confident in his abilities.

"I don't know about happy," said Camel.

Jackal laughed a little.

"Then I have something for you," said Jackal. "Something that could remind you to think about being happy."

"I don't need anything else from you," said Camel, still trying to get away.

"Well, it's obvious that you do," said Jackal as he pulled out something wrapped up in a very colorful cloth. "I'll just attach it to your Mochila."

Before Camel could protest any further, Jackal had jumped up onto the load, and attached some sort of jingly bell or something onto the load, then crawled over to the other side, scratched around a bit, lapped at what sounded like a bowl of water, and then jumped down again.

"What did you do?" asked Camel. "What is that jingling? And is there water up there?"

"It's just a little something to remind you to think about being happy," said Jackal. "every time you hear the bell, it will remind you that you are very fortunate to have a load so large and wonderful on your back. Many are jealous of your beautiful and grand Mochila."

Camel couldn't help feeling a little proud of his load, but the jingly bell was already annoying him.

"I will see you later," yelled out Jackal. He was already many meters away.

Camel was glad that he was gone. Jackal took what he wanted, and only gave if it benefited himself. He was not pleasant. Camel stood very still so the bell would stop.

Then he thought about his quest for water, and cringed at the sound as he took his first steps.

After a few hours, the bell sound would come in and out of his mind, and it was not making him think of being happy, it was distracting him from his numbers. He tried to count the jingles, but they were uneven and seemed random.

And he was nearing 100 with "Mochila". It was all he could do to think of other things.

Finally, he reached the oasis. It was fairly small, but it had shade, and water.

He got to the water's edge and gazed into the sweet, cool pool. It was beautiful. He lowered his head to take a drink, and with a loud jingle, his load slid a bit toward his head, which made Camel jolt his head upright to catch the load from falling.

Every time he tried to take a drink, his load would slide, almost falling off, and Camel would stand upright again to keep the load from falling off.

Every time, with a loud, obnoxious jingle.

Camel was getting frustrated. He would have cried if he had any tears, but he hadn't had any water for some time now.

He considered turning back and getting water from that tank of water where the level was a bit higher and he wouldn't have to lean so far over, but he knew he wouldn't make it back.

He turned back to gaze into the pool. He had a feeling this was the last thing he would ever see.

He hung his head and sighed. That's when he noticed something at the bottom of the pool of water. It looked like...he wasn't certain...yes...toys? Games? Some useless objects and small pieces of fabric? There were hundreds, maybe thousands of Mochillas sunk at the bottom of the pool. Well, maybe not thousands, but Camel was excited, and you start seeing things when you get excited.

Camel immediately had an idea. He was, after all, a very smart Camel. Without hesitating, he leaned over and let his Mochila slide off his back, and with a gurgling Jingle, watched it sink to the bottom.

He drank and drank and drank. Oh, it was really good. It was fantastic. It was the best.

As he drank, between the ripples of cool, quenching water, Camel saw that each of the Mochilas had their own little bell.

All of them were silent.

---

So, this gets us back to the part where Camel is running all happy...let's see:

Once there was a camel who ran free in the desert, feeling lighter than air, fully refreshed and rejuvenated, his thirst completely quenched and more purposeful than ever.

The End

Keep Them In and Keep Them Out

2008-03-29T07:21:00.005-06:00

Once there was a Peacock Papi who was so beautiful and colorful. He had four little peacock chickies who loved to play.

They all lived in a nice fenced in yard where there was a tree, some shrubbery and a little pond. It was a perfect little spot.

The Papi Peacock was so beautiful that every day, animals would come over and ask him to show them his train. It was so beautiful.

Once day, the cow came over and asked Peacock to show her his plumage. So he did.

While he was showing her his feathers, he looked over and saw that his little chickies were playing by the fence.

He excused himself and went to the fence.

"Hey, you guys," said Papi Peacock, "I don't want you guys to play by the fence. You can play by the pond, climb the tree and play in the bushes, but just don't play by the fence."

They apologized and went to play by the pond.

The next day, Dog brought a couple of cat friends to see Peacock's tail feathers.

While he was showing them, he saw out of the corner of his eye, that his chickies were playing by the fence again. In fact, they were playing ON the fence.

He excused himself again and went over to them.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't play by the fence," said Papi Peacock, "And here you are ON the fence."

They apologized again and went over to the tree.

The next day, a bunch of the animals came over with cakes and chips and drinks. They had been planning a potluck for a while. While they were all talking and laughing, Papi Peacock took a look around, hoping that he wouldn't find his chickies playing by the fence.

He searched the fence line and they weren't there. He breathed a sign of relief.

Then he searched the rest of the yard for them, wondering where they were. He couldn't find them. He looked in the tree, by the pond and in the bush, and they weren't anywhere.

He started freaking out. He asked everyone who came for the potluck to look for them, but no one found them.

They looked for hours, and nothing.

After a while, they all left. They would look on their way home.

Papi Peacock cried and cried and would not let himself go to sleep, well, until he couldn't help falling asleep because he was too tired.

When he woke up, he remembered right away and started to cry again.

He slowly stood up and took a look around the yard. To his surprise, there were the chickies, right in the very center of the yard.

He rushed over to them and hugged them and kissed them and loved on them and told them how worried he had been.

"Where were you?" he asked. "What happened to you last night?"

"Well," one of them said, "We were playing by the fence, and suddenly, well, we found ourselves on the other side of the fence."

"And we couldn't find away back in," said another chickie.

So they went on to explain what happened.

It turns out that while they were on the other side of the fence, a fox came over and offered to help them get to the opening of the fence.

"Get on my back and I'll take you there," said the fox.

The chickies believed him, and got on his back.

Once they were all on his back, he bolted...the opposite way of the fence. He was taking them away.

The chickies started screaming and tightening their claws on his back. They even started pecking him.

"Stop pecking me!" the fox yelled.

But they didn't stop.

"Not until you let us down!" said the chickies.

"Fine!" yelled the fox. "Get off my back!"

The chickies jumped off his back, and the fox quickly ran away.

The chickies realized that they were far from home and started crying.

After a while, they finished crying and decided to try to walk back home.

It took them all night to walk home...foxes run very fast.

Once they got to the fence, they looked around the whole fence line, but couldn't find the way in. But instead of crying again, they decided that they would try to get up onto the fence, and then jump off in to the yard.

As they were talking about how they were going to do it, the fox appeared behind them, and he had brought his whole family... his wife, his three little fox cubs, and his brother.

The chickies freaked out and jumped higher than they thought they could, right over the fence.

Once they were in the yard, and safe from the fox family, they carefully calculated the exact middle of the yard and huddled together, shaking and trembling.

"And that's where I found you," said Papi Peacock. And he hugged them again.

"I'm sure glad you found your way back," he said.

They were too...and they never played by the fence again. Well, there was that one time that the ball got kicked over to the fence, but that's different.

The End

Why Lambs Always Land on their Back

2008-03-23T15:15:00.004-06:00

Once there was a fluffy little lamby who suddenly found herself at the very top of a very tall tree.

She didn't normally climb trees, and when she found herself up the tree, she didn't know what to do.

Since this was a new thing for her, and didn't actually know if she could climb down, she decided to sing a song.

It went like this:

I'm just a little Lamby
Singing in a tree
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to pee.

And when she thought about it, she realized she really DID have to pee. So she stuck her bottom out as far as she could, pulled up her tail (so she wouldn't get pee on her fluffy tail) and trickled her pee from the top of the tree.

What she didn't know is that some Piggie friends had chosen to have a picnic directly under the tree.

One of them was putting some bread on his butter, and felt a little drop.

"Oh," said the Piggie, "I think it's raining." She took out her umbrella, opened it up and went back to buttering his bread.

Meanwhile, the little lamby was relieved to not have to pee anymore, and was happy. So happy, in fact, that she decided to sing another song.

It went like this:

I'm a little Lamby
I don't know what to do
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to poo

And just as she said it, yep, she felt like she had to poo.

So, she wiggled her bottom a little further out on the branch, lifted her fluffy tail out of the way, and let out a stream of little pellets of poo.

Well, the Piggie friends had just finished eating their butter with bread, and wanted to move on to the baggie of potato chips. Well, they looked everywhere, but had apparently misplaced the baggie, and just as they almost decided to think that they had forgotten the baggie back at the house, one of the found it just beyond a root of the tree.

The Piggie reached her hand out from under the umbrella, and grabbed hold of the baggie.

Just as soon as she brought her hand in, there started a rat-a-tat-tat banging on the umbrella.

They decided it was the tree dropping some acorns and tore into the bag of potato chips.

Meanwhile, back up the tree, the little Lamby felt again relieved to not have to poo anymore.

So, being happy again, she decided to sing again.

Here's how the song went:

I'm a little Lamby
I might have heard a hoot
Maybe there's an owl around
But I think I have to toot

And then she realized that yes, she did have to toot.

So she scooted herself further out on the limb, and was about to push, when she slipped and fell off.

Meanwhile, the Piggie friends were looking for the whipped cream to put on the pudding. Apparently, someone had forgotten the whipped cream as well.

So, as the little Lamby fell down toward the ground, she flew past a bird's nest and a squirrel's house, then some falling acorns, and even a few little drops of rain.

Then she smashed into the umbrella, and bounced right back up into the air.

This is when she remembered what her grandmother had told her:

"Always land on your back where it's the fluffiest."

So Lamby twisted herself around as she started back down for the second time.

The Piggie friends heard the large thump on the umbrella and decided to see what it was. They closed the umbrella and put it away, then took a look up toward the tree.

They missed the little fluffy lamby as she fell right into the pudding.

The Piggie friends decided that there was nothing to see and went back to eating.

"I thought we forgot the whipped cream," said one of the Piggie friends pointing at the pudding.

The Piggie friends licked their lips, grabbed their spoons and aimed for the pudding with the fluffy whipped cream on top.

Yum!

The End

Skunk Finally Smiles

2008-03-14T08:55:00.007-06:00

Once there was a skunk who was, well, she was unhappy. I'm not sure why she was upset, but it seems like everything bothered her.

If it rained, she was bothered. It it was cold or windy or hot, she was bugged. None of her friends could actually think of anything that made her smile or laugh, and believe me, they tried.

Every second Tuesday of every third month (unless it fell on an even numbered day - which would move it to the first Saturday morning that everyone could be there), they met to talk about new ideas they could try, and failed attempts of the past couple of months.

Well, in the meantime, Skunk knew that they were meeting, and since she didn't know what they were meeting about (and was never invited),that made her very upset, and even suspicious of all her "friends".

It just seemed like everything that anyone tried to do, even in love and honest concern for her wellbeing, was seen by her as a jab, and a dagger.

Once, squirrel made Skunk a beautiful cake, and it wasn't even Skunks birthday. It was strawberry inside with little chunks of cashews inside, layered with a coffee icing, then the whole thing iced with a dark chocolate cream cheese icing, and little white flowers all over it.

Well, Skunk ate a small piece of it, and was pleasant while Squirrel sat and chetted, but once Squirrel left, Skunk threw the rest of the cake away. She thought Squirrel meant by bringing a cake that Skunk was too skinny, or was addicted to sweet food, or something...she couldn't decide. But she was upset by it.

Once, Lizzard brought her flute and played a sweet little lullaby for Skunk. Well, Skunk immediately thought that Lizzard wanted to put Skunk to sleep, so she pretended to fall asleep.

When Lizzard saw that Skunk had fallen asleep, Lizzard quietly cleaned up the kitchen and tidied up the living room. Skunk kept peeking at Lizzard when she had her back turned. When Lizzard finally left, Skunk was sure that Lizzard thought Skunk was a messy animal and couldn't keep a clean house.

There was nothing that anyone could do that Skunk wouldn't assume they meant as a negative judgement on her character.

Well, the last straw for Skunk was when Froggie invited her to a "We Love You, Skunk" party. It was even held on a second Tuesday.

Skunk didn't RSVP, but knew that they were still going to throw the party. She had the idea that they were finally going to tell her she had to leave the forest.

Well, she was right...about the party still being thrown, but not the eviction.

As the Tuesday approached, Skunk prepared to show them all. She was going to finally let them how she felt about the...and it was not going to be pretty.

It took her a whole morning, and she even skipped lunch, but she finally found what she was looking for...Hemlock.

She gathered a handfull of Hemlock seeds and took them home. She crushed them into a powder, and added a little bit of water so that it made a paste, then she put it in a little acorn shell and stored it behind the pots and pans.

On Tuesday morning, Skunk sat at her kitchen table, with the Hemlock paste in front of her. She watched the clock. She had gathered all the pictures of the forest animals and set them up on the table.

There was a picture of Skunk and Froggie from when they went to the forest fair, and a picture of Stork and Squirrel laughing at Skunk's kitchen table. There was a picture of Skunk and Lizzard jumping into the pond.

She looked them all for a long time, thinking that they were all faking their friendship with her.

On the other side of the forest, Froggie and the others were putting the final touches on the decorations. They were beautiful. Garlands, flowers, a couple of cakes, lots of punch and cookies. Some of them had even brought presents.

Stork had the idea to make a card and have everyone sign it, and everyone had done that except for Mouse. Once mouse signed it, Stork put it on the table with the presents.

Once the time had come for the party to start, Froggie wondered what was keeping Skunk. Froggie sent Grackle to fly above the forest to see if he could see her on the trails.

Well, at the time the party was supposed to start, Skunk picked up the Hemlock and put it in her mouth and swallowed it.

She felt very proud of herself. She was going to show them. She felt like they disliked her so much that she was going to teach them a lesson.

As her mouth and throat started to get tingly, she thought of how Squirrel and Lizzard had wronged her.

As her mouth filled with saliva, she thought of how Froggie and Stork had done such bad things to her.

As her muscles started twitching, she thought of how badly all the forest animals had treated her and how judgemental they all had been.

As everything in her cozy little burrow started getting darker, she thought of how satisfied she would be knowing that all the forest animals would get a dose of their own medicine.

And when her breathing became shallower and harder, she thought she would finally go to the party and see if they had finally learned their lesson, but she could not stand up, in fact, she couldn't move a muscle.

---

Grackle didn't see Skunk on the trail, and he didn't see her anywhere around her burrow. When he finally landed and peeked inside her home, he immediately knew something was wrong.

He went inside and tried to wake her, but he couldn't. He looked at all the pictures stretched out in front of her on the kitchen table and smiled.

---

They never found any trace of the Hemlock, and all thought so highly of her. They were sad that her time had come so unexpectedly, but were all so touched by the fact that her last moments were spent gazing at her friends.

There was even a smile on Skunk's face.

She was finally happy.

The End

The World is my...

2008-03-11T08:39:00.002-06:00

Once there were two chipmunks that loved each other very, very much. You could tell because they hugged and snuggled everywhere they went...sometimes maybe too much. Well, not for them, but you know how some people are...some people just don't like seeing that stuff out in public.

Anyway, these guys loved being outside. They loved to explore new places, climb interesting things and sleep anywhere they thought was safe.

They would take a weekend here or a couple of days there and go off on some fun adventure.

Then, when they returned, they would invite everyone in the forest to come over and listen to them tell of their exciting vacation.

Sometimes, the forest animals would ask them to retell stories, and the chipmunks would always oblige.

One of their favorite adventures was when they went to a beautiful place where the trees were huge, and there were massive logs everywhere. They even had a picnic on one of the fallen logs.

Another favorite was when they found a mound of large boulders piled up into an awesome place to explore.

There was also the time they hiked along a large mud pit, and they both ended up with sticky mud up to their knees.

Oh, and there was also the place where the earth opened up in a huge crack. They explored the crack all day. At one end there was a forest of thorns and vines, and in the center was a huge sink hole.

Everyone loved their stories, and they were both so good at telling them.

One day, the Monkey family invited them over for dinner. They did this every once in a while.

Once the little baby monkeys were down for the night, Mr. and Mrs. Monkey and the Chipmunks played games, sang songs, talked and laughed. They were very good friends.

Sometimes they would tell each other things that no one else knew. That's what you do with good friends.

Well, it may have been an accident how the subject of pooping was brought up, (although it seemed to be a favorite topic along with underleg trumpeting for the Monkey family).

Accident or not, the chipmunks admitted to something that surprised the Monkeys.

Monkey's side was hurting from laughing so hard.

"Well, sometimes we're just too far away from a restroom to go back!" said Mr. Chipmunk.

Monkey finally calmed down enough to ask them, "So, at the forest with the logs?"

"Yep," said the chipmunks, "we left a couple logs."

"And the the pile of boulders?" asked Monkey.

"We made our own pile." said the chipmunks.

"And the big crack?" Asked Monkey.

"Right at the edge of the sink hole." said the chipmunks.

"And the mud pit?" asked the Monkeys.

"That was a bit messy," said Mrs. Chipmunk, "I think it was the lamb burgers we ate for lunch."

Oh, they laughed about that for a while.

The Monkeys promised not to tell anyone in forest about their "adventures" during their outdoor adventures.

But whenever the chipmunks told the forest of their most recent adventure, the Monkeys would have to fight laughing out loud.

Especially when they told about their trip to the city dump. Oh, and they almost fell off the stumps they were sitting on when they told about getting pinched on some thorny bushes at loaf mountain.

They couldn't keep their snickers quiet when the chipmunks went to the lake and caught a bunch of Crappie.

The End

Blah and the Falling Blah-Blahs

2008-03-03T08:35:00.004-06:00

Once there was a blah that was very blah, and loved to blah. Of course, only when the blah was blah or blah blah, which was actually quite blah blah.

Well, one day, a bunch of blahs dropped out of the blah, and the blah was so blah that everything changed.

First, all the blah in the blah went all blah blah. Then the blah became completely blah blah, which was really a blah thing.

There wasn't anything that the blah could do about that, but that didn't stop her from becoming blah blah.

Well, the blah made lots of changes in her life to make up for the changes that the falling blah had caused.

The problem with that was that the blah had no idea how to be a blah, and the next few days, all of the blah's friends became upset with the new blah...they didn't like the new blah very much.

But, they all loved her so much, that they all decided to do something about it.

All of the blah-blah's climbed the blah with blahs in their blah blahs, and tried to put them all back, but that didn't work...the blah's kept doing what they had done before, remember, what had started the whole thing.

Well, when the blahs came down from the blah, the blah saw them and knew exactly what they were doing. She was so happy that they cared so much about them that she got all blah-blah and began to blah.

Then all the other blah's got confused by seeing the blah getting all blah-blah, and they all started to blah.

The blah's were so blah, that they began blah-ing themselves, and one even blah-ed himself against the blah. Well, the force of the blah blah-ing against the blah made a bunch of blahs fall from the blah.

When the blah realized that it was just blah falling from the blah, she blah-ed, and then couldn't stop blah-ing.

The rest of the blahs saw her blah-ing and began blah-ing as well.

They blah-ed for a while until they got hungry, and then forgot what had started the whole thing.

The End

The Hundred Babies

2008-01-06T20:27:00.000-06:00

Once there was a little girl named Sofie, and she had one hundred babies.

She had a little kitty cat baby and a furry mouse baby and a dog baby. She even had an elephant baby and a bear baby and a gorilla baby.

They were all so cute and cuddly. She loved them all so much. They all slept on her bed with her every night, and she could tell when even one of them fell off the bed.

One morning, as she hugged every one of them, the counted only 99 babies.

“Oh, no,” she thought.

She hugged them all again, and again counted only 99. She knew it was wolf who was missing.

Where was he? Sofie decided to leave the 99 babies in the care of Baby Alligator and Baby Stork, and she took Baby Snake and Baby Gorilla with her to look for them.

Baby Lamb and Baby Raccoon cried when Sofie left.

“I’ll be right back, sweeties,” she said to them.

Sofie, Baby Snake and Baby Gorilla looked everywhere. They looked on top of every rock, and under every tree. They looked in all of Baby Wolf’s favorite places, but they could not find him.

They all sat down for a rest, and just as Sofie opened her backpack to take out some snacks. She always had snacks in her backpack. But before she could open the backpack, she heard a little noise.

She knew right away that it was Baby Wolf. It was a cute little yelp, but it was a frightened little yelp.

Baby Gorilla and Baby Snake heard it too.

“Baby Wolf!” Sofie called out.

They all heard another yelp. They were close.

They followed the yelping to a small hole, and when they peered inside, there was Baby Wolf.

“Baby Wolf,” said Sofie, “Are you OK?”

Baby Wolf just yelped.

“You’re hungry aren’t you?” she asked. “I brought some Snackies.”

She opened her backpack, and was surprised at what she found…nothing.

“Hey,” she exclaimed, “I thought I had Snackies in here.”

She peered into the hole again.

“Sorry, Baby Wolf,” she said. “I don’t have any Snackies for you. You’ll just have to wait until we get you out.”

Sofie asked Baby Snake to stretch himself as long as he could and slide down into the hole. Baby Gorilla made sure Baby Snake didn’t fall all the way in.

“Now, Baby Snake,” said Sofie, “Grab on to Baby Wolf as tight as you can.”

Baby Snake grabbed on to Baby Wolf’s nose, and Baby Gorilla and Sofie pulled on Baby Snakes tail as hard as they could, but not too hard to break Baby Snake.

Baby Wolf wasn’t budging.

They pulled and pulled, but nothing.

“OK,” said Sofie. “Baby Snake, you can let go. We have to think of something else.”

So Baby Snake let go and was pulled out of the hole.

Sofie gave Baby Gorilla a hug for being so strong, and Baby Snake a kiss for being so long. But when she kissed Baby Snake, she noticed that her breath smelled like Snackies.

“Baby Snake,” asked Sofie. “Why does your breath smell like Snackies? We brushed your teeth last night, didn’t we?”

All Baby Snake could do is point down to Baby Wolf.

Sofie looked down into the hole and that’s when she noticed the crumbs all over Wolf’s nose and chin.

Baby Wolf, did you eat the Snackies from my backpack?

Baby Wolf whined an embarrassed whine.

“Oh,” said Sofie sadly. “That’s why you’re stuck.”

She sat down next to the hole to think.

“Well,” said Sofie, “I guess we’ll just have to wait until you get smaller, and then you won’t be stuck anymore.”

Then she stood up.

“Baby Snake and Baby Gorilla?” She said. “You guys stay here and I’ll be right back.”

She kissed them before she left, and reached down into the hole and rubbed Baby Wolf’s nose.

Sofie was back in a flash with all the babies following her, and a backpack full of Snackies for everyone. They all played and ate and took naps next to the hole where Baby Wolf was, including him in all the games they played…as well as they could.

Later that evening, when some of the babies had fallen asleep, and it was fairly quiet, a very loud and muffled honking sound came from the hole where Baby Wolf had been all day, and then suddenly, Baby Wolf popped out of the hole. His toot has dislodged him from the hole.

Everyone laughed and hugged and kissed Baby Wolf.

Baby Wolf licked Sofie all over her face. She knew he was sorry for eating the Snackies without asking.

I don’t think he did it again.

The End

Monkey Loses Mouse...Again

2008-01-03T14:54:00.000-06:00

Once there was a little monkey who had a mouse for a best friend. She loved the mouse, played with it every day. Fed it, watered it, cleaned it's cage, everything.

Well, one day, the mouse died. It was a sad day. Monkey cried and cried.

Actually, she didn't cry at first because she didn't know what "died" meant.

Well, Papi Monkey told her that the mouse wasn't going to breath or eat or move around anymore. She still didn't cry. Not until Papi Monkey told Little Monkey they had to put it in a plastic bag and throw the mouse away.

Oh, then she cried and cried.

Well, Papi Monkey suggested that Little Monkey write the mouse a goodbye note. She did. It was very sweet. It said "I love you mouse" and "Goodbye".

They folded it up and took a shovel and the plastic bag with the dead mouse in it to the backyard.

Papi Monkey picked a spot next to a Live Oak and started digging. There were roots all over the place, but he was able to make a hole about a foot deep.

Maybe it was less than that.

Anyway, Papi Monkey opened the bag with the dead mouse in it and whew, was it stinky.

Papi Monkey told his little girl that when something dies, it starts to rot. Just like when she accidentally dropped an apple core into the couch and they found it all moldy and soft and stinky a couple of weeks later.

Just like when they forget to put the garbage out on trash day and have to wait a whole nother week, and it stinks like crazy. It’s because the garbage has things in it that are rotting.

They talked about how flies like to eat rotten stuff and they lay their eggs in the rotten stuff and the baby flies are born and they are called maggots. Eww!

Little Monkey dropped the folded up note into the hole and Papi Monkey dropped the dead mouse into the hole. Actually, they looked at the mouse first, then dropped it in.

Papi Monkey put dirt over the hole and they went inside. Later that night, Little Monkey asked how deep Papi Monkey could dig, and Papi Monkey said he couldn’t dig too deep. Maybe a few feet.

Little Girl monkey asked what would happen if he kept digging…if he could. And Papi Monkey took out their “Earth Ball” and tried to figure out where they would end up if they kept digging.

The answer was “Somewhere in the ocean”.

Little Monkey then asked about what kind of animals lived in the ocean, and they talked and talked about fish and sea horses and plankton and whales and coral well into the night.

Papi Monkey was suddenly woken up by a scream coming from outside. He found himself on Little Monkey’s bed, but Little Monkey was not there.

He ran out of the house and found Little Monkey standing next to the Live Oak tree, pointing to the ground.

When Papi Monkey reached his daughter, he saw that the place where they had buried her little mouse was disturbed. In fact, the mouse was gone. Little Monkey found her note a few feet away, in the direction of the deep forest.

Papi Monkey explained that he should have dug a deeper hole and that some other animal had come and taken her mouse away.

“Why would anyone do that?” she asked.

“Well,” said Papi Monkey carefully. “To eat it.”

Little Monkey’s face got all scrunched up and looked like she was going to throw up.

Papi Monkey took her hand and they climbed the tree house and listened to the wind for a while.

They didn’t talk about eating a rotten dead mouse.

The End

Beautiful Danger

2007-12-28T10:36:00.000-06:00

Once there was a sweet little Cat who lived in a house with some humans. She was white all over and so soft. Her little whiskers were so delicate and her tail so agile and smooth.

She was quick and glorious, graceful and sharp, cunning and gentle.

The house she lived in was in the mountains where it snowed all the time. The house was surrounded by lush pine trees, large boulders, winding paths and breathtaking views. She loved it there.

One day, her humans left her alone. They told her it would be a few days before they got back. They were going into town to get supplies for the long winter.

“Don’t go into the forest,” they told her. “We will leave this window open, but you could get lost out there.”

She agreed. There would be no reason for her to go anywhere. Just outside to poo or pee and then back inside to get warm.

The day after the humans left, a huge blizzard hit and almost buried the little house. Some snow even came in through the open window.

A few days went by and she expected the humans back at any moment, but they didn’t come. They didn’t come for many days.

Some of the snow had cleared, but the side of the house with the front door on it was still buried, and there was no sign of any visitors. The house was as still a chewed piece of gum sticking to the floor.

The little white cat sat at the window and stared out for hours at a time. This became her sole pastime.

One morning, there was movement in one of the pine trees. At first, the little cat thought it was just snow falling off a branch, but within the hour, she saw it again.

This was the most excitement she had seen in a week, so she stared even harder.

The movements came every once in a while, but she couldn’t make out what it was.

At one point she thought she saw the most beautiful pair of eyes she had ever seen. They were a mesmerizing deep green, outlined in a hypnotic dark mist.

This intrigued her and she decided to walk outside to check it out.

When she hopped off the sill onto the cold, crunchy ground, something moved quickly in the area where she had been watching earlier.

She carefully tip-toed across the yard toward the edge of the tree line. There were no sounds except for the occasional creaking of branches in the wind.

Something moved again in the trees.

The little white cat stopped in her tracks. Something was out there.

Slowly, she made out the eyes she had seen before. They were gorgeous. They attached themselves to her heart and reeled her in. Then she could make out a nose and a pair of ears, then whiskers. It was another cat. She was sure of it.

This excited her very much. She took a few steps and meowed and purred. Then took another few steps.

The other cat moved forward a few inches.

“Maybe he’s lost,” though the little white cat as she took another more confident step.

She meowed again.

The sound that came back was not a meow. It was not a purr either. It was more of a hiss and a scream, but the little white cat barely had any time to be frightened, or even think about running back into the house.

---

When the humans finally returned, they found no trace of their little white cat. The window was still open and there was still some food in her bowl.

The End

Badger's Incentive Program

2007-09-16T13:55:00.000-06:00

Badger stumbles upon a very effective way to motivate his employees.

Badger needed a job. He was good at many things, but none of those things could make him any money. He was good at sports, playing video games, cooking and other interesting things.

He decided to apply at the local telemarketing company. It was not a fun job, but Badger was really good at it. H was good at everything.

During his first few weeks, he saw many opportunities for advancement, and he was such a good worker, he challenged himself, and achieved his goals very quickly.

Suddenly he found himself in management. It would take him longer to advance from this position than it had been taking him, but he took on this position the same way. He worked as hard as he could, encouraging his crew with incentives and pats on the back. They really liked him. He made them all want to do better.

Well, one of the incentives he implemented was a Friday Breakfast Taco for everyone who tried their hardest. Basically everyone got a taco, but it was a morale booster.

Badger reminded everyone as he passed their cubicle about the Taco Guy coming at the end of the week.

Badger walked around all day with his clipboard and his headset, and randomly, he would plug into the phone to listen in on the conversation.

He knew this made his crew nervous, but it was a requirement. He made jokes and distracted his crew to get their mind off of things. Badger didn’t want to make them nervous, he just had to listen in. You know, “This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.”

Well, one Tuesday morning, Beaver had created a masterpiece consisting of a turkey and Monterrey Jack Omelet, topped with fresh cilantro, diced tomatoes and Ranch Style beans. Yum! His family was so grateful to him for cooking for breakfast. It was a treat. Badger left for work satisfied and happy.

As you can imagine, though, this was doing a number on Badger’s tummy. Later in the day, there were all sorts of rumblings and gurgles coming from Badger’s mid-section. He even had a few “False-Starts” to the bathroom. He was having a rough morning, but he just kept pushing through.

His day was going the same as every other day, visiting cubicles, making notes and listening in on conversations.

In the middle of one conversation, the pressure in his tummy was demanding to be released. He was attached to the phone system through the headset. Just as he released the headset from the phone jack, a little bit of bottom air leaked out.

His eyes grew large. He was sure no one heard it. Would it smell? He waited a few moments.

Yes. It smelled. He had to think quick.

He began to take deep breaths through his nose, and popped his head up from the cubicle, looking around for something.

He leaned over to the next cubicle over and asked,

“Did the Taco Guy come today?” and to another who had just hung up from a sale,

“Is it Friday already? Still smelling something in the air.

Everyone around him started to take deep inhalations, trying to smell if the Taco Guy was here.

Someone spoke up, “I think he is here. I smell Chorizo and Egg”

Another chimed in, “Man, That’s making me hungry.”

Everyone smelled deeply, taking in as much of the aroma as they could.

Badger announced, “I’ll go check, you guys get back to calls.”

As Badger walked across the large open area, between the rest of the cubicles, he let a little controlled amount of his inside air every few feet.

When he came back and announced that it must have been someone’s lunch in the refrigerator, everyone groaned in disappointment.

The rest of the day was fairly regular.

Although, after lunch everyone could have sworn they smelled potato chips.

The End

The Computer Monkey

2007-09-09T13:31:00.000-06:00

A monkey finds something in the forest.

Once there was a little monkey who found a computer next to a tree in the forest. He poked it and tasted it and slapped at it, as you’d expect any monkey to do.

He was very attracted to the large and smooth flat surface, and the little light in the bottom corner.

You can imagine his surprise when he pushed the button and the large smooth surface turned into a colorful, flickering, multi-colored, beautiful object of mystery.

After some time of staring into the colorful surface, he began wanting to do something with it. His eyes found a funny flat object connected to the flat colorful surface thing. It had a bunch of little shiny block on it that were painted with tiny little pictures.

The monkey started to poke each of the little blocks with his stubby, fat fingers, and the colorful flat surface began to change. Each time he pushed one of the blocks, a tiny little picture, the same as was painted on the little block, appeared on the flat surface.

Oh, this kept him busy for a long time. He was enjoying the way that the pictures formed lines and then when they got to the far right, they would start again at the left (not that he knew his left from right).

He got so excited he wanted to take it home to show his children. They would not believe him if he just told them about it. They’d think it was another one of his silly stories.

He took a tight grip on the large box with the shiny flat surface and pulled, but it was hung up on something. It seemed like it was tied to a vine or something that came out of the back of it. He yanked and yanked until it came loose.

But just as it came loose, the colors disappeared. He put the box down and poked at it and tasted it and screamed at it, but nothing happened. He became so frustrated with it that he picked it up and threw it down the hill. It bounced and crashed at the bottom of the hill. It might have exploded.

That’s when the monkey noticed the orange vine that had been tied to the box. He decided to follow it to see where it took him.

It took him through the forest, under a log, through a small creek, under a wooden fence, through a large flat concrete parking lot, in through a window, and into an office full of cubicles, then around a maze of cubicles to a small desk with a leather chair with a smaller computer on the desk. There was a painting of a dog.

It looked comfortable, so he sat down in it.

Suddenly, a large upright walking man with clothes on rounded the corned and threw some papers on the desk in front of the monkey.

“Get these done!” said the man without looking at the monkey.

The monkey screamed, which was echoed by some of the workers in the neighboring cubicles. Then it went quiet.

The monkey looked through the papers and moved some to the side, held up one of them with corrections on a design layout, and got to work.

He ended up tweaking a few website designs and making a couple of blog entries before the day was through, and he finally got home.

When he did get home, he was right, his children just thought it was another one of his silly stories.

The End

The Snake and the Coquis

2007-08-26T23:03:00.000-06:00

A snake settles down with a group of Coquis who are perfectly happy, and tried to change them to suit her own agenda.

Once there was a fun loving, sometimes-wild bunch of Coquis that lived in the most lush and deepest part of El Yunque, in Puerto Rico.

They lived and played close to a very high waterfall that was just the perfect temperature, and kept the rocks and large leaves around the falls perfectly moist.

They were so happy, they called to each other and sang to each other all day, and all night.

In fact, almost every night, they would have a Baile, and the local Cuatristas would come out and play plenas and meringues, salsas, and sometimes Una Bomba.

They were very happy.

One day, a snake was transported all the way from a far off land. He had fallen into a truck shipping Platanos, and then put on a boat, and sailed to Puerto Rico. Once on the port, the box of bananas with the snake in it was carried onto a small truck and driven all the way to El Yunque.

Well, the snake slithered all the way to the deepest, most lush part of El Yunque, and found the Coquis in the middle of a cena eating Sancocho.

They invited Snake to join them, but it was insect Sancocho, and snake did not eat insects.

Snake decided she wanted to stay, and the Coquis were happy to have her.

She liked the music they played and the dances, but she did not like the awful, irritating noise they made.

Every night, she would bury herself in the dirt, or climb a tree to get away from the racket, but she could not get away from the sound.

Snake decided to call a group meeting.

For some reason, a rumor started and the Coquis thought Snake was going to make a Lechon Asado, so the Coquis made Arroz con Gandules, Tostones, Pasteles, Cuajo and some Bacalaitos.

There was no Lechon Asado, but there was enough food for everyone, so they all ate, and then Snake called the meeting to order.

“I have some ideas that would make your lives better, but I need to know that you will support me,” she said.

Well, all the Coquis became so excited they started cheering. They though Snake was going to organize parties and have Festivales and maybe some Artesanos come in and teach them all crafts. So, of course they all supported her.

“Well, then,” she continued. “The first thing I need to change is that you all not make your noise at night. I need to sleep, and I can’t sleep with all that “COQUI! COQUI! COQUI!”

All the Coquis became quiet.

“We can’t do that,” one said. “It’s how we are made.”

The others agreed.

“Well,” said Snake” If you can’t do this one simple thing, then maybe you are not ready for my program.”

The Coquis thought Snake was very smart, and seemed to know what she was doing, so after some deliberation, they agreed.

“Good!” said Snake. “Now for the next item of business…”

Snake went on to explain that she was very busy, and she was going to need everyone’s cooperation. She would, in fact, throw a couple of parties, but instead of being free like they usually were, all the Coquis had to pay. She made the Cuatristas angry with a rude comment, and so they stopped coming to the parties. She found other orchestas, and they were good, but they cost money too.

Another strange thing started happening too. Some of the older Coquis stopped coming to the parties and hanging out at the waterfall. In fact, for some reason, no one had seen those Coquis anywhere.

Every couple of weeks, another of the Coquis went missing.

Everyone assumed that they stopped coming because they just had to sing their beautiful Coqui song, and so they left the area to go sing where Snake could not hear.

Others had a suspicion that Snake had eaten them.

Snake asked one of the Coquis to prepare the area for a dinner party that was to happen the next afternoon. The Coqui went home and planned and made the centerpieces, called her friends and asked them to help with lights and table dressings, and was up till the very early morning.

When she woke up and carried what she could to the area where the dinner party was going to be, Snake had already set up the tables and decorated them.

“Well it didn’t look like you were going to do it, so I did it myself…I can’t count on anyone!” said Snake.

Snake did this often. She would ask someone to do something, and then end up doing it herself. She never delegated, although all the Coquis were willing to do whatever needed to be done.

Well, one day, Snake wrote a note and stuck it to the trunk of a Flamboyan.

It read: “Everyone must from this day forward, refer to me as Madam Vibora.”

The Coquis did not like this, and no one ever did it, except when they were talking about things she had said or had done.

A couple of them wanted to talk to Snake, I’m sorry, Madam Vibora, but whenever they said something to her, even it was constructive, Madam Vibora turned the criticism on the Coquis and claimed that she “always had to do everything”, and “No one helps me”, and “I’m very busy”.

The Coquis had a secret meeting to figure out what to do.

Although they came up with many solutions that would make Snake want to leave, they knew it was not right to do anything that would make her feel bad. They didn’t want to be mean or hurtful, so they decided not to do anything.

Well, you might not know this, but when Coquis are upset or stressed out, they sing.

Actually, who am I kidding, they sing all the time. When they’re hungry, fed, sleepy, happy, stressed, anything. Really.

What I’m trying to say is that the Coquis were about to explode. They had been very careful with not singing and calling out to each other so as to not bother Madam Vibora, but they couldn’t hold it in for very much longer.

One day, it happened.

At first, there was just one “COQUI!” sounding out. Then others followed.

Then, before you knew it, all the Coquis were singing and calling out and not caring if Madam Vibora could sleep or not.

This frustrated Madam Vibora so much. She tried to quiet them. She yelled at them and threw rocks at them, but the Coquis were so loud, (and so small) she couldn’t bother them.

Madam Vibora freaked out. She got so angry that as she yelled at them to stop, her fangs came out and she struck at one of the Coquis and swallowed her in one gulp.

All the Coquis went silent for a moment. They couldn’t believe what they had seen. Madam Vibora said nothing. She looked away from the judging eyes of all the Coquis.

Then, a distant sound came wafting in through the large green leaves of the lush rain forest. It was a Cuatro, a pandereta and a Guiro, and it was playing a Plena.

The Coqui playing the Cuatro sang:

Sana, sana culito de rana
Si no te vas hoy
Te iras mañana

The Coquis sang along as loud as they could, and Madam Vibora couldn’t stand it any longer.

She left El Yunque. In fact, she got on the next ship off the island.

The Coquis went back to living and playing as they had before Snake came along.

The truth is, the Coquis learned something from Madam Vibora. It was basically what NOT to do.

The Coquis elected a new president, and the group grew in quantity, but more importantly, in quality.

THE END

Here is a translation of some of the words used in this story.
Coqui: the common name for several species of frogs that live only in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands
El Yunque: the rain forest in Puerto Rico
Baile: a dance
Cuatrista: a musician who plays a cuatro
Plena: folkloric music of Puerto Rico
Merengue: A type of lively, joyful music and dance that comes from Hispañola.
Salsa: a Cuban style of music
Bomba: a musical style with wild dancing and African type drumming
Platano: plantain
Cena: a meal
Sancocho: a stew
Lechon Asado: roasted pig
Arroz: rice
Gandules: pigeon peas
Tostones: Flattened and fried plantain
Pasteles: a plantain-dough wrapped meat pastry
Cuajo: soup made with tripe
Festivales: a festival
Bacalaito: deep-fried codfish and flour appetizer
Artesano: a native artist
Orchesta: an orchestra
Flamboyan: a flowering tree
Vibora: a viper
Cuatro: a 4, 8 or 10 stringed instrument
Pandereta: A Hand Drum
Guiro: A percussion instrument made from a hollow gourd with notches in the side.

Sana, sana culito de rana
Si no te vas hoy
Te iras mañana:

Heal, heal, Bottom of a frog
If you don’t go today
You will leave tomorrow

The Long Lost Shark

2007-08-19T20:11:00.000-06:00

This is Part Four of a Four Part series (The Red Map of Captain Gato, The Marooned Cat, The Privateer Mouse, The Long Lost Shark)

Once there was an old blind woman who held a door open to her small cabin in the middle of a forest, on an island the shape of a ring with a lagoon in the center of it.

She was holding it open for a cat with a rope tied to its tail. At the end of its tail was an empty bottle of rum. Well, it didn’t have rum in it. It had a rolled up parchment and a necklace with a marble attached to it.

A mouse was riding along on the old woman’s shoulder. The cat and the mouse were tired, wet and a little confused. For some reason, the old woman thought it was not a coincidence that the cat and the mouse had found each other.

What did she mean about “finding each other”. Thought the mouse and the cat.

Once inside, the old woman found a small vial with no inscriptions on it, unscrewed the top, and let the mouse lick the opening. Almost instantly, the mouse grew into a little girl, and the old woman wrapped her in a large quilt.

The cat had been watching in amazement. He had for a moment, on the beach just minutes earlier, though he had been looking into his daughter’s eyes when he looked into the mouse’s eyes. He now knew it had in fact been his daughter. He rubbed up against her legs and purred loudly.

The old lady untied the bottle of rum from the cat’s tail and uncorked it. She shook out the map and the marble necklace. She twisted the marble and it opened up. It contained a fine red powder. She took out a pinch and rubbed it on the cat’s nose.

The cat began sneezing, and with every sneeze, grew larger and larger into a full-grown man.

The old woman wrapped him in a quilt as well, just as the little girl realized it was her father.

“Father!” she said as she ran to him. “It’s you!”

“Yes, dear.” He said as he hugged her tight. “You’ve done well.”

“I had no idea, Father!” said the little girl.

“Nor did I!” said her Father.

They all hugged.

“Let’s have a look at the map,” said the old woman. “Is it still intact?”

“Oh,” said Father. “I’m afraid I’ve ruined it.”

She unrolled it and smelled the large wine stain, and then she put her tongue to it.

“I can fix this,” said the old woman. “Did they figure it out?”

“It looked like they did,” said the little girl.

“Did either of you get a look at the solution?” she said as she found a dark glass bottle from a top shelf with some letters and numbers written on it. She rubbed her fingers across the label and smiled.

“I think I did!” said the little girl. “Right before Father tried to knock me out of the chandelier.”

“Sorry about that,” said Father.

The old woman poured the liquid over the map, and the red stain disappeared.

“The red ink on the map is Lawsone your father brought from India,” said the old woman. “It will not be affected by the liquid. Can you read the map now?”

“Yes,” said the little girl and her father in unison.

“OK, sweetie,” said the old woman to the little girl. “See if you can recreate what you saw.”

The little girl took the corners and folded them over, pulled the inside out and reversed the edges and suddenly, they were looking at a cube made out of the map.

The woman felt the box-map.

“Oh,” said the woman. “This is correct. This is how I remember it. It’s been so long.”

She studied it, as did Father. They both smiled.

“What is it?” said the little girl. “What is the map for?”

“Well,” said Father. “A long time ago, your mother drank something I had brought home from a far off land.”

“Is that what killed her?” asked the little girl.

Her Grandmother looked toward her Father as if she could see.

“Well,” said Father. “Not quite.”

The little girl was confused.

“You told me she died a long time ago,” said the little girl, “When I was really young.”

Her Father put his hand on her shoulder.

“This map,” said the old woman, “Will lead us to the liquid.”

“Liquid?” said the little girl.

“It’s somewhere on the island,” said her Father. “It was so long ago. Your mother made this map when she hid it.”

“Mother hid the liquid? Why did she hide it?” asked the little girl. “Wait a minute, what does it do?”

“Well,” mumbled her father. “It changes you into an animal of some sort.”

“What kind of animal?” asked the little girl as she looked around in the trees. “Like a monkey or a squirrel?”

“Well, no,” said her Father. “Your mother was turned into … a shark.”

“The shark in the lagoon is your mother,” said the old woman.

“She’s been in the lagoon the whole time?” asked the little girl.

“Yes,” said her father. “but now that we have this map, all we have to do is decipher it.”

“Can I see her?” asked the little girl.

“No,” snapped the old woman. “She would not have wanted you to see her like this.”

The little girl sulked, then sat up.

“This liquid can turn her back?” asked the little girl.

“Yes,” said her Father. “I had brought it home from a journey and tried it on myself. Your Mother and Grandmother had the hardest time getting me to come back to shore. Apparently, the shark is a volatile animal and cannot be easily told what to do. They finally got me to drink it again to reverse the effects, and she decided to hide it.”

“She made a map just in case,” said her Grandmother.

“In case what?” asked the little girl.

“Well, my batch was not the only batch,” said her Father. “There was a pirate named Captain Tiburon who wanted my batch. The same merchant who sold me my batch had also sold the Captain some.”

The little girl sat down as her father went on.

“He had used up most of his by attacking cargo ships and apparently found out that I had bought the rest of the batch, and he wanted mine. He was a bad man. He had attacked and plundered thousands of merchant ships. Sailors were afraid to step onto any ship headed for the open seas. No one knew how to stop him, but they knew he was almost out of the liquid. So we all knew his time was running short.”

He took a deep breath and went on.

“We heard he was on his way, and your mother hid our liquid so he wouldn’t find it, and made the map. One day, he found us, and after a brief scuffle, the last little bit of his liquid was knocked out of his hand, and fell right into your mother’s mouth.”

“Oh, no!” said the little girl.

“I had no idea where your Mother had hidden the liquid, so he left,” said her Father. “But he had swam to the island as a shark, then turned himself into a man on shore, so he had no boat to get back to his ship which was anchored just beyond the lagoon. He was very irresponsible with his liquid.”

“No one has seen him since,” said her Grandmother.

“Did mother…eat him?” asked the little girl.

“We don’t know,” said her father.

They all sat quietly for a moment.

“A few weeks after that is when your grandmother arrived to live with us,” said Father. “Just in time, too, I was getting lonely on this island.”

Grandmother smiled.

“So, how did you know these other pirates were going to come and steal the map?” said the little girl.

“Well,” said her father. “Every few weeks, I’d go to shore and talk about a great treasure left by Captain Gato. I’d make sure everyone was interested and talking about it. I knew that if I had everyone interested, someone would take the bait.”

“What bait?” asked the little girl.

“One day, as I was on shore,” said her father, “I bumped into a man I had not seen in a great while. He was called “The Professor.” He was a very smart man. I knew that if he got a look at the map, he could figure it out. I was right. I just had to get him to show us, and he did, didn’t he.”

“Well let’s get looking at the map!” she exclaimed.

They studied the map for hours. Father’s memory was failing him. Even with the map folded into a cube, he was still befuddled by the landmarks.

“Your mother was very smart,” said Father. “She sure made sure we couldn’t find the liquid very easily.”

“This tree looks familiar,” said the little girl. “But it looks smaller than I remember. And this rock has something about it too, but again, it looks so much smaller than when I remember seeing it.”

“When do you remember seeing these things?” asked her Father. “I’ve never seen these things on this island.”

“I think I saw them when I was a mouse,” said the little girl. “When I was riding in the hem of the pirate’s leg on the way back to the beach.”

No one spoke for a few moments.

“Well,” said Father. “Do you think you can remember which way they took you to the shore?”

“I think so,” said the little girl.

So they left the old woman in the cabin and hiked through the forest to the beach.

They reached the beach much sooner than the little girl expected to.

“It seemed longer when the pirates brought me,” said the little girl.

“Well,” said her father, “Let’s go back and take another look at the map.”

The little girl took a long look into the lagoon. She thought she saw a dorsal fin rise above the water, but she couldn’t be sure.

They got back to the cabin.

“So, Father,” asked the little girl. “How did you end up as a cat?”

“Well,” said Father. “After your grandmother arrived, we occupied ourselves looking high and low for anything that could help turn your mother back. We gathered different potions and liquids from all over the world, but nothing had worked.”

“That’s when we thought of the idea to find someone who could figure out your mother’s map.

“It was your grandmother’s idea to turn me into a cat so The Professor would take me on his ship.”

The little girl was impressed.

“When you talked about the treasure, did you say there was loads of jewels and gold,” said the little girl.

“Oh, yes,” said her father. “I knew he’d be interested in the booty.”

They laughed at his ingenuity, and the gullible pirates.

“Wait a minute,” said the little girl. “How about you make me into a mouse again, Grandmother, and I get into your hem, Father. Maybe I have to be small to see what I saw.”

“That is a great idea!” said her father.

“Doesn’t fall far from the tree!” said the grandmother as she unscrewed the lid of the vial and let the little girl drink from it.

Instantly, the little girl emerged from the pile of her clothes on the floor and jumped onto her father’s hem.

Father ran outside with the map in hand, showing it to her daughter every once in a while.

“Wait!” said the little tiny mouse voice. “Here’s the rock.”

He looked down at where he was standing, and there it was; a very small rock with a hole in it that looked just like the one on the map.

Then a few inches away from the rock was the tree, which was actually just a twig stuck in the ground.

Father’s eyes widened.

“I think I remember what to do!” he yelled.

He pulled the stick out of the ground and pushed it deep into the hole in the rock, which opened a small door in a nearby tree.

Inside the hole in the tree was yet another vial filled with a small amount of liquid. Father tried to grab the vial, but his hand was too big and the door in the tree was too small.

“It’s too small!” said Father. “I can’t get it.”

“Let me do it,” said his daughter.

Her father carefully picked her up and put her into the doorway in the tree. The mouse took hold of the vial as her father held on to her tail and pulled her out.

---

When Father finally returned to the cabin with her Mother, the little girl was not a mouse anymore, and was sitting on the rocking chair on the porch.

The little girl leapt from the chair and flew down to her mother and hugged her so tight, and then hugged her father.

They laughed and cried.

“Mother,” said the little girl. “Come see grandmother. She’s inside!”

“Grandmother?” wondered her mother as she turned to Father. “Who’s in the house, dear?”

Suddenly, the door flew open and there stood grandmother, but she was not her usual sweet, calm self. She had a large rifle in her hands and was pointing it directly at the little girl.

“I’ll be taking the shark liquid,” she said in a strange raspy voice.

Father took the liquid out from his breast pocket and held it up.

“Here it is,” said Father. “It’s yours.”

“Captain Tiburon!” said Mother. “I knew you’d be back.

“You’re not my grandmother?” said the little girl.

“Sorry sweetie!” said Captain Tiburon. “You’re a good girl. Now step aside and no one gets hurt.”

He walked slowly past the little girl and toward Father, holding his aim on the little girl.

“I lived on the island for a few weeks after our last meetin’, then found my way back here,” said the Captain. “You labeled your potions very well. It didn’t take me long at all to find the one that made me look like this.”

“I thought she was your mother,” said Father to Mother. “I’m so sorry.”

Father held the liquid out as far as he could, and Captain Tiburon snatched it and backed up toward the beach, away from the family.

When he got far enough away, he quickly turned and ran toward the beach.

“It’s over,” said Mother. “We won’t be seeing him for a while.”

They turned to look for their little girl, but she had gone.

“Where’d she go?” the wondered and began looking toward the house.

They found an opened vial with no inscription on it lying on a pile of clothes.

“Oh, no!” said Father.

They both turned and ran to the beach.

When they got to the beach, Captain Tiburon was drinking some of the liquid. They could not see the mouse anywhere. Suddenly, a rock flew up from the ground and knocked the vial from Captain Tiburon’s hand.

Captain Tiburon turned into a shark and fell into the water. The vial that the stone had knocked out of Captain Tiburon’s hand fell onto a rock on the beach and smashed into a million pieces.

They watched the shark’s dorsal fin swim out into deeper waters, and then disappear.

He was gone, and he would never be turned back into a man.

The little girl’s mother and father ran and picked up the mouse and kissed her and hugged her.

They took her home and made her a little girl again.

That was the day they threw away all the potions that turned people into animals.

Except for the bird one. Flying around like a bird was fun.

The End