Not A Happy Camper by Mindy Schneider - Blog

Happy Dog Day to You...

2009-05-25T16:34:00.000-07:00

There are things you learn in school that you'll never forget. Unfortunately for me, it's something I learned in 10th grade chemistry class:

The algebraic sum of the oxidation numbers of the atoms in the formula of a polyatomic ion is equal to its charge.

Unfortunate because I still have no idea what this means.

I teach a writing class for kids at the recreation center where I work. I try to stay away from too many complexities and stress that writing can be fun (unlike chemistry) and they get it.

Recently, I suggested everyone in class invent a holiday and write about it. Although no one was aware that I'm an Animal Services volunteer, I think there's a future rescuer in the group. Here's the holiday 7-year-old Angelina Llerenas came up with:

Dog Day

You can take your dogs for walks with you. You miss work and school. It is fun. You could take your dogs to the park and play ball or you could just play with it. You can also give it dog treats and do stuff with your pups.

It was Dog Day at the shelter yesterday for these two canine companions who got adopted:

And this one, Bibby, who was walked out into the lobby where Elle, from Strangest Angels Rescue, was explaining rescue work to a photojournalist.

Elle immediately knew Bibby was the kind of dog she was looking for and promises to find her a good home.

Oh, and she also picked up these two Chihuahuas from city shelters:

I have explained to the kids in my writing class that a story has a beginning, middle and end. We can only guess at the beginnings for these dogs, and the middle parts, in the shelter, are not the best. But for those who get out and stay out, you can usually bet there's a happy ending. As long as they don't have to sit through 10th grade chemistry.

Hope that happens soon for these two kennelmates:

Old Dogs, New Digs

2009-04-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

It was a Three Dog Afternoon when I drove these guys from the South L.A. shelter to their rescuers from Best Friends:

That Jack Russell mix in the middle had a lot of energy. We put him in a carrier and it was like having the Tasmanian Devil in a bag.

Meanwhile, back at the shelter, this friendly Pittie girl was rescued:

While this Shep got adopted:

This dog posed for photos in the conference room:

And went home the next day with a family who named their new boxer "Ali" because they think she's "the greatest."

Ali won't be needing her shelter ID tag anymore.

These two also found new homes at the Mobile Pet Adoption:

And a few days later and twenty miles away, I spotted this dog who I recognized from the shelter. I'll bet Kira is much happier now that she's hanging out at Starbucks.

And as for those two dogs Andrea and I transported to Labs and Buddies a couple of weeks ago?

Amber...

and Campy...

... have already found new homes.

Says Amber's new mom:

"We couldn't have found a more perfect canine addition to our family... It's like we've always had her with us."

Just Another Brown Dog

2009-04-05T21:28:00.001-07:00

About once a week I go to the South L.A. shelter to photograph dogs that are in danger of not being adopted in time. Another volunteer, Andrea, includes the photos in the pleas she sends out via email to rescuers. We photographed this sweet dog a couple of weeks ago. I labeled the photos "another brown dog."

About a week later we photographed another batch of dogs. I thought one of them looked familiar, but there are just so many that look alike. It wasn't until I got home and put the photos side by side that I realized it was the same one.

Poor little nondescript dog. What chance would she have of being selected from the crowd?

I was back at the shelter yesterday and met a woman who'd just adopted a dog. It was being kept in a holding area and couldn't go home until it was spayed. I asked her to describe it, but all she could say was, "It's brown." No name, no particular breed, not large, not small. A dog that defied description. I said, "Wait a minute. I think I know which dog you mean," and showed her a photo on my camera. "That's it!" she told me.

We went back to visit in the holding area.

They'll go home together Monday afternoon.

You know what? There is a word to describe this: Perfect!

Red Tag Specials

2009-04-01T19:23:00.000-07:00

Not a good thing to be on the Red List at the shelter. It means your days are numbered if you don't get rescued or adopted FAST.

Not every red-listed dog I've photographed has made it out of the shelter, but here are some who have:

Remember Paris, the world's saddest Rottie?

She was adopted two days later, renamed Camille and seems to have forgotten that lonely, dark cage:

And this Airedale mix was rescued by Strangest Angels and adopted the next day:

Also rescued by Strangest Angels:

Rescued by Hounds of Hope:

And Bruno...

and Stubby...

...were rescued by Coastal German Shepherd Rescue.

This little dog with supermodel legs left with Annie from Molly's Mutts and Meows:

And Maybelline ("Maybe she's born with it...") left with Downtown Dog Rescue.

Because she was so emaciated when she came in, Maybelline was kept over at the old shelter, now called the annex. That's where I met Nancy, who assists with bunny adoptions (they call their network the Bunderground) and witnessed this female Harlequin bunny on a date with this chocolate boy. Although she interviewed several eligible rabbits, I found out a few hours later that Bachelor Number One was indeed a match.

There's a bunnymoon joke in here somewhere, but I'm steering clear...

Among those still at the shelter, waiting and hoping and panting:

And too many more.

My mother called me from New Jersey this morning with exciting news; they're going to be building a shelter on county property near her house. She can't wait to volunteer. Then she realized it was 11am on the east coast and got even more excited when she realized it was time for "The View."

I called her back later.

Duck, Duck, Dog

2009-03-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

First the dog.

A lot of the photos I take go into emails sent out by volunteers and have a much wider readership than this blog. Thank goodness.

They do get seen and read, and many of the dogs are rescued. Like Butterscotch, featured a couple of posts back.

Here's what Erik had to say in his email:

Meet BUTTERSCOTCH aka BUTTERS. I rescued her from the South L.A. pound last week -- she is safe and sound and is doing just great. Butters is approximately 1-year-old -- she's an Am Staff/Lab sorta mix -- she weighs 45 pounds.

I am sponsoring Butters thru Forte Animal Rescue and we are desperate to find her a permanent home -- or a foster home, at the very least. She is stuck in boarding right now so she needs OUT.

She looooves people AND dogs -- whenever she meets a new person or a new dog, her whole body wiggles like crazy. She's got lots of energy, so would do best in an active home.

Butters was just hours away from death when I pulled her out of the pound -- so now she's ready to start her new life!

Please forward to anyone you know who may be in the market for a dog. Thanks!!

You can contact Erik (and Butters) at Erik.Baiers@nbcuni.com.

Meanwhile, I have some new neighbors.

A friend and I went out to a movie the other night (Sunshine Cleaning -- very good) and they were outside, on the front lawn.

My friend said, "You have to save them!" I tried to explain that I don't do ducks, but asked a neighbor what he thought. Turns out he's seen them flying in and out, so it's a choice to be in this neighborhood. Perhaps they like our puddles. Or the Wheat Thins I served them.

There are a lot of Chasidic families in my neighborhood and a friend asked me if maybe they've moved in because they're Jewish. I said, "Sure. They're Orthodux."

(For anyone groaning at that, here's a link to a website called "Instant Rimshot." http://www.instantrimshot.com/)

Unless they tell me otherwise, I'm calling this pair Abigail and Mallard Fillmore. (Really, go ahead and use that rimshot.)

My favorite thing about them is that they completely ignored the Fox-TV film crew shooting in the building next door.

I guess if you can fly, you're not bothered by grip stands and lighting equipment blocking your driveway. Must be nice.

Make Room for Doggies

2009-03-21T21:52:00.001-07:00

Big dogs, little dogs, black dogs and white dogs, not to mention a bunch of others -- but hardly the Dog Party author P.D. Eastman had in mind.

Here are some of the unfortunate souls we saw waiting at the city shelter this weekend:

And here's one very lucky guy who got a new family:

as well as a canine sibling:

Andrea, volunteer extraordinaire, played matchmaker on this one. She also arranged for a couple of dogs to bypass the shelter entirely.

This chocolate Lab's owner had "too many" dogs...

... and this one was left behind by a tenant whose landlord couldn't keep her.

But instead of checking in at the shelter, this Lab and new buddy went off to Labsandbuddies.org in my smelly, falling-apart Subaru.

Excuse me, sir, may I see your license?

It's been a few months since the clockspring in the steering wheel broke, leaving me without a driver's-side airbag and a horn. I really miss the horn. For every awful person in this city who dumps their dog, there's another one who can't share the road. Or maybe it's the same people.

Anyway, I finally got the horn fixed today. Sort of. I haven't used it yet, but doesn't it look like it'll sound like a doorbell?

Oh well. My furry passengers won't mind.

A Doggy Bag of Shelter Photos

2009-03-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

Just another Sunday at the shelter, more dogs coming in than going out. Thanks to the economy, they're now being dropped off in batches of three, four and five at a time with no White House bailout plan in sight.

Fortunately, these two just got nice new homes.

Here's Trixie with her new best friend:

And this happy Corgi/Chow mix heading home with a new family:

I think these two are already saying "thank you."

Among those still waiting for their luck to change, are:

And some folks don't even bother to bring their dogs to the shelter. Earlier this week, I saw an adult dog (the mom?) with two puppies wandering around in a park. They polished off five cans of the Alpo I keep in my car. (Thank you, Alpo, for your handy flip-top lid.)

With the help of a couple of guys playing basketball, we were able to round up the puppies, but the adult was too scared, and just as we were about to get a collar around her, she took off. I did see her again the next day and left food for her, but I haven't seen her since.

I later found out from a gardener that some guy in a white van dumped them in the park. I will always regret not being able to catch the adult and I do hope a neighbor has taken her in. The puppies have already been adopted, but I will always wonder if I did the right thing and I will keep looking for the adult. I've already re-stocked my Alpo supply.

And yes, I actually do keep a portable, collapsible animal crate in my car. Bought it at a yard sale, still new in the package. Put an old red towel in it. They peed all the way to the shelter.

On an unrelated note, my cats (who will NEVER be dumped in any park) remain incredibly adorable and photogenic.

Or is it just me?

Time and Space

2009-03-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid in school we learned that time and space are infinite. Not so for shelter dogs.

Animals end up in shelters for many reasons. Some are turned in by their owners, others are lost or abandoned, some never had a home. And many never get out again.

That's why people should come to the shelters to adopt; that's why volunteers from rescue groups take in as many as possible; that's why I gave up playing softball most Sundays. Now I follow around other volunteers and take photos for them to include in their emails to potential adopters and rescue groups.

Here are some of the perfectly wonderful dogs currently waiting in the South L.A. shelter, hoping to be adopted before their time runs out:

And here's Molly, who did get out and went home yesterday with her new family:

But there are so many more waiting.

When I was in 3rd grade I had a classmate who insisted that there were 52 states. I said there were only 50 and we checked with a Social Studies teacher to see who was right. The teacher said, "Well, Alaska and Hawaii make it 52." I LOST THE BET!

Not everything you learn in school is right. Time and space are not infinite for these guys.

After the Crash...

2009-03-01T18:35:00.000-08:00

No, I don't mean the economy. I mean my hard drive. Thankfully, the guy at the computer repair place was able to recover everything, including my 12,000-plus animal photos and everything I ever sent to the recycle bin. I should be finished sorting through it all in... never.

And I'm still taking new photos of new passengers, like Dash, rescued by Animal Advocates Alliance and pictured here with AAA co-founder Phillip and with my resident dog groomer, Dr. Henry Kittenger.

My old falling-apart Subaru (seriously, pieces are coming off left and right and I just store them in the back) is a multi-species transportation vehicle. Yesterday, my brother David came to visit from NJ. (No photo of him in my car. Sorry.) David likes to help with transports so before we even got to my apartment, we stopped at the West L.A. shelter and picked up these two Life4Paws rescues and dropped them off with a foster in Van Nuys.

And then finally to my place, where my older cat Zelly snubbed David, but Hank was happy to be carried around and pose for more photos.

Okay, maybe not exactly happy, but tolerant.

And David is planning to look into doing rescue work locally when he gets home.

Turns Out My Cat Has a Career Goal

2009-01-21T20:05:00.000-08:00

Lot of dog photos and chauffeuring so far this month, all leading up to the discovery that my cat Hank has a goal in life. And I guess it's nice that one of us does.

Two Mondays ago I picked up Snowy (now Chloe) on my way to work. (This is a poodle, but if you don't take care of them, you have to shave them down and start over.)

Drove her to her new home during my lunch break where she was greeted by new friends and her new mom...

And her new Supreme Ruler:

After performing a short-but-pathetic scene from the musical Oliver!

Chloe was rewarded with some delicious food to go with her wonderful new life.

Next trip to the shelter was to take some photos with volunteer Andrea who picked out this friendly Husky mix:

Monty, this Shepherd mix, who was rescued two hours after Andrea sent out an email about him this morning:

And this 5-year-old toothless Maltese, so matted she had to be shaved down as well. Another severe case of Bad Previous Owner.

While we were there, these two Pit puppies, found in an abandoned house, were brought in:

And this beautiful dog, Coco, got adopted and went home with her new family:

This morning I got to drive Roxy (now Gertrude) from South L.A. to the valley. I have never seen a dog so happy to have a collar and leash put on her. She knew we were going somewhere better than the shelter.

Here she is meeting Flo, her foster mom from Molly's Mutts & Meows.

And then I got a call to go back to South L.A. to pick up Jenny, that Maltoothless, for Animal Advocates Alliance. I brought her back to my apartment and wondered what my cats would think.

For Hank, my almost-two-year-old monster, it was his first real crush. He touched his nose to hers several times, and each time this action was followed by his jaw dropping. Like a cartoon character.

And then he sought to impress her. Unlike Zelly, who will never hold a job if it involves actually getting up and doing anything...

... it seems Hank's calling is dog grooming. Or podiatry in general.

Especially odd when you consider he and Zelly don't do this. They just wrestle and annoy each other.

Eventually, Jenny left with Phillip from Animal Advocates Alliance and I'm afraid Hank is now heartbroken.

I promised Hank that if we ever own our own home, I will get him his own little dog. As long as he promises to walk it and clean up after it.

This is how boring I am

2009-01-11T12:11:00.000-08:00

I spent New Year's Day in bed watching an Irene Dunne triple-header on TCM while adding up my 2008 tax receipts. Now I just have to wait for the W-2's. Happy New Year.

A little more excitement in the lives of some pets I've driven around.

I'll never understand how a landlord can tell someone they can't have a cat. It's like objecting to a stuffed animal that scares away rodents. Nevertheless, this guy:

who looks like my guy...

... lost his home in South L.A. when his devoted owner had to turn him in to the shelter. The cat is very friendly and the owner, who visited him more than once, was devastated, knowing he couldn't keep him and a lot of cats don't make it out of the shelter alive.

Cat-astrophe voided. Andrea, one of the dedicated volunteers, brought him to a mobile adoption event last Sunday where he promptly found a new owner who'll love him just as much as his last one. All he needed was a ride on Monday to his new abode.

With my taxes out of the way, I had time to go down and pick him up and meet a couple of lucky dogs and their new people:

And then we were off to meet up with Andrea and head to Beverly Hills. Yes, that's right. One day he's in a cage at the shelter and the next day it's swimming pools, movie stars. And the comfy space under the bed.

(On a remarkably shallow note, when I lifted the dust ruffle to take this photo, I noted that I have the exact same metal bed frame in my apartment.)

As we were getting ready to leave, the housekeeper returned to report that her cab driver had gotten into an accident. So then we gave her a ride home.

I really need to think about getting a new car. Some little part called the clockspring has short-circuited and, as a result, the horn no longer works and the driver's-side airbag will not deploy upon impact. At a friend's suggestion I contacted Subaru customer service and corresponded back and forth with a man who noted I had an extended warranty, was very anxious to help, and was impressed that I was able to provide him with 8 years' worth of scanned repair receipts. (Remember, I'm the person who does her taxes on January 1st.) Ultimately, his boss decided I was out of luck but offered me $500 off on a new car. I said, "No thank you," unless I could apply it toward a Honda.

So in the event of an accident, I'll be the crazy middle-aged woman shaking her fist at the oncoming vehicle just before crashing through the windshield. But no need to worry if there's a dog in the front passenger seat, that airbag should still work.

And most of them ride in the back seat anyway. Like this guy, who needed a lift from Highland Park to Marina del Rey yesterday.

Don't be thrown off by his sad expression. He was still a little woozy from the drugs from his surgery, but his tail was wagging when he met everyone from the rescue, appropriately named Take Me Home. And someone did.

And then I drove home in my Subaru. And it's starting to make a new ominous noise...

Lost & Found

2008-12-28T18:39:00.000-08:00

I've worked at several city recreation centers and the Lost & Found bin is always overflowing with stuff. At the one where I'm currently working, we've got a pair of blue jeans. Um, did someone leave the park without their pants?

Same thing happens at the Mobile Pet Adoptions. Not everyone in Hollywood is walking around in dark sunglasses because at least three people have left theirs behind.

And how did someone leave at all without their keys?

Please, if you see anyone roaming around the Hollywood Hills, squinting in the sun and locked out of their car, tell them to call me!

And sadly, dogs get lost, too. Like this guy, who turned up in a park the day before Thanksgiving, shivering in the rain. His tag read "Dexter" with a disconnected phone number. Thanks to the Internet and someone at Nextel (who was likely halfway around the world), we were able to track down the person who last had this number, but it was not his dog and Dexter had to go to the shelter.

As it turned out, he seemed to like it there. He got to socialize with people and other dogs...

... and they even gave him a lovely sweater.

Eventually Dexter was available for adoption, but I was concerned no one would want a 10-year-old dog. A rescue group was willing to take him if he proved to be cat-friendly, so we tested him.

He passed.

And then, incredibly, by the time I got home to email the photos, a couple had already come to the shelter and adopted him. I didn't get to meet them, but I will assume they must be nice people to have picked him out from among all the other dogs.

And I don't know if they celebrated Chanukah or Christmas, but if they have any crummy old furniture like we do at the park, then I'm sure Dexter got his wish.

Let's hope some of these guys who are still at the shelter have the same luck.

Coming soon: Hank the kitten goes shopping at Petco:

Dog Number One, Dog Number Two or Dog Number Three...

2008-12-08T15:36:00.000-08:00

Not only am I excited about the new camera I bought Thanksgiving weekend, but also because I saw Monty Hall at the mall.

I wonder if salespeople are always coming up to him, asking if he'd like what's behind the curtain or what's in the big box on the floor.

I didn't use my new camera to take a photo of Mr. Hall because that would have been rude and also embarrassing if it turned out he was someone who just looked like a game show host.

Years ago, at a restaurant in NYC, my mother was sure the man at the next table was actor Henry Jones from TV's Phyllis. At the end of the meal she went over to say hello... only to find out he was some guy named Arnold Praver. No photos on file for Arnold Praver, but my mother thought he looked like this:

I did get to use my new camera at the shelter to take photos of many dogs, including some that have since been rescued:

Like Dakoda, rescued by Dogz in Need:

And Savannah, rescued by downtowndogrescue.org

And these two, rescued by The Bill Foundation:

I got a call the day before Thanksgiving from a park director who found this old guy, whose ID tag reads "Dexter," wandering around in the rain. Took a photo with my phone when I got him back to my office:

I was in the middle of spreading a blanket on the floor for him when he let me know he preferred the furniture. Why argue?

We posted signs in the park, placed ads on many websites and tried numerous times to call the apparently out-of-service phone number on his tag. No luck so far and he is now at the West L.A. shelter, available for adoption as of December 14th. His impound # is A0998719.

I went by to visit him a couple of days ago with my new camera and an old bed I bought at a garage sale:

Gotta hope someone's looking to adopt a wonderful old couch potato.

While I was there, I ran into Beth, a friend from a softball team I played on years ago. She was there adopting her first dog:

And then the next day I went to the MPA where 18 more dogs and two cats were adopted, including Tigger and Dusty who went home with Leila and Paula:

And Simba, who posed with his new family:

And Amber, who's about the same age as her new friend Jordan:

Daisy, who wasn't adopted at the MPA, was rescued by Animal Advocates Alliance.

Still, there are plenty more dogs and cats waiting to be picked. Like these guys:

I wish Monty Hall would come to the shelter or MPA. Not only could he save an animal, but we could reenact the Big Deal of the Day and ask him, "Would you like Dog Number One, Dog Number Two or Dog Number Three?"

No zonks here.

Pit Stop

2008-11-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

I just got back from Downey, the town that gave us musical group the Carpenters and, possibly, fabric softener...

... where I dropped off these three Pit Bull puppies with Kelly of LEASH Animal Rescue (LEASHanimalrescue.org)...

... and she already has foster homes lined up for them. Quite an improvement over the space they'd been living in at the shelter:

Ah, the good life...

You think she's hungry, look what I stopped off for on the drive back:

(For anyone unfamiliar with the concept of Cheese on a Stick, picture cheese. On a stick. Hey, I had vegetables yesterday.)

This was my fourth day in a row of dog stuff, starting on Friday, when I met up with Andrea before work to help with photographs. While we were taking pictures of this Border Collie...

A couple of men walked past with these two dogs...

...and one of them yelled, "You want them? They're free."

I had just gotten my DWP bill that morning and noticed that between 1998 and 2008 my garbage pick-up fee jumped from $12 to $62 and change:

And, y'know, I'm pretty sure I'm making less garbage these days. Recycling and everything. And now they're talking about tripling the fee for registering your car. Isn't that what cost the last governor his job and forced a new election, presenting us with a choice between Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger or Gov. Gary Coleman?

Anyway, I was not in a good mood and said some nasty things to these two guys who promptly dumped their pets anyway.

And here's another dog who came in on Friday, a supposed stray. Sure looks to me like he's cowering behind his owner, not a stranger, as she fills out a form, removes his collar and leash and then walks away. Forever.

But there are good people who come to the shelter to adopt, like these two women who found the perfect kitten right away, in one of the cages in the lobby:

By the way, this kitten was not particularly cold. It's just that the shelter had run out of carriers and this baby blanket seemed like the next best way to get him home without escaping.

And this little dog, adopted a couple of months ago, had come back to be fixed. Boy was he happy to see his family again and to have that silly cone-shaped collar removed:

More adoptions took place Saturday at an event on Larchmont Boulevard...

...where this Lab/Retriever mix found a new dad:

And then back at the shelter on Sunday, Lola adopted Chiquita:

And Hershey, who wasn't adopted on Larchmont the day before...

... went home with Anne, Ellie and Noah (and Alexandra, not pictured).

And then I went home and looked at my DWP bill again. $62.32 for one bag of trash a week? I need to make a phone call to someone...

The Latest Poop

2008-11-17T20:19:00.000-08:00

From dictionary.com:

Poop:

- noun Slang.
relevant information, esp. a candid or pertinent factual report; low-down: Send a reporter to get the real poop on that accident.

I was on the phone with a friend the other night. We got to talking about celebrities we've met and how silly we feel about being starstruck. He mentioned reading something by someone who works in a grocery store where Jamie Lee Curtis shops. Got me wondering if she bought any Activia, then I realized this was ridiculous. She probably gets truckloads of the stuff for free. I'll bet when she shops she buys cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. Because she knows that when she gets home there's all that that Activia waiting.

I asked my friend if he thought it was odd that in one of the commercials she hugs the other woman, a stranger. My friend suggested it wasn't really a hug. They were squeezing each other so they could poop.

I met Jamie Lee Curtis years ago, when I was writing for a sitcom starring Tom Arnold. (Don't even bother trying to remember which one. Trust me, you've never seen it.) Ms. Curtis was there to visit one of the producers, but stopped by the writers' room and said hello. She was incredibly friendly and encouraging. Could not have been nicer. I had no idea she was constipated.

Someone else I know often sees her walking her dogs in the park. Unlike some celebrities, she follows the rules and keeps them on-leash. Really, could not be nicer.

And on that subject of dogs in the park...

Only 15 dogs from L.A.'s South shelter came to the Mobile Pet Adoption yesterday.

Due to the forest fires still burning, East Valley shelter needed to keep their trucks at the facility in case of an emergency. Still, 10 of the 15 dogs were adopted, including Ireena...

One little dog is being transferred to a less crowded shelter:

And this dog, Tux, is going to a private rescue. Very happy news.

Plus 2 cats were adopted, one of whom I picked up this afternoon and delivered to the Valley, since her new owner couldn't get there from work before closing. Traffic was heavy. Good thing she slept the whole way.

I also made two other recent trips to the shelter. Last time I saw a couple who were shopping for a kitten. They picked this guy:

Actually, he picked them.

Some of my East Coast friends think it's really cool that I often see celebrities. But actually, it's usually more like this: years ago I went to a party at some famous director's house whose name I can't remember now but Buck Henry was there. And all I could think all night long was, "How sad for Buck Henry that he has nothing better to do on a Saturday night than what I'm doing."

Of course, now I spend my Saturday nights at home with my cats. And sometimes when I look at them, I could swear they're thinking to themselves, "How sad for us that we have nothing better to do..."

Still waiting for a thank you from George Clooney

2008-11-10T16:34:00.000-08:00

Years ago, when I was a writer for the TV show "Step By Step", I had a small office on the Warner Bros. lot. The best thing about the office was the single window which sat right above the basketball hoop where the cast of "ER" played ball. I could have opened that window and thrown crumpled script pages at them. (As a sitcom writer I had a lot of time to think about things that had nothing to do with sitcom writing.) Anyway, the cast will never know what I didn't do so they'll never thank me.

Other people I know make better use of their time, like Jane who spent a couple of hours at the shelter yesterday grooming this girl named Tommy...

... who was completely ignored by this nearby resident:

(Hhmm... much the way George Clooney ignored me.)

Later, Andrea took out a couple of dogs for walks and photo sessions...

... which they quite obviously did appreciate.

And Tommy got lucky. A couple came to adopt her even before her beauty parlor appointment was over. And since she was already spayed, as soon as the paperwork was done she went home.

Meanwhile, dogs and cats and everything else keep coming in, literally by the bucketful:

Incidentally, although I never told Mr. Clooney that I could have lobbed water balloons at him and his colleagues, we did have a brief conversation once when the "Step By Step" writers had to interrupt and walk through their game on our way to watch a rehearsal.

Our conversation went like this:

Me: Always getting in the way. Those pesky writers.

George (with a grin): Damn writers.

I will remember it forever.

The New Math

2008-10-27T17:24:00.000-07:00

When I was in elementary school in the 1960s adults would refer to the "New Math" we were learning. I never understood what they meant - did two plus two equal five in their day?

My mother in "their day":

I thought of the New Math this morning when I called the airline regarding my luggage for a one-day trip I'm taking this week. There's now a $15 charge for the first checked piece, which I wouldn't need if I were allowed to carry on my shampoo, but you can't have any liquids in excess of three ounces and it takes a pound of products to control my frizz. The correct solution, according to the Old Math, would have been to dump out all my little hotel sample bottles of mouthwash and refill them with what I need. But I am a student of the New Math which says go out and buy about $15 worth of little empty bottles, fill them with what you want, forget to label them and then act surprised when your hair looks awful because you washed it with hand lotion.

They also charge you now for food on the plane so I went out and bought snacks. Forgot to check if there's a weight limit on those and if they have to fit under the seat in front of me.

That's what I did today instead of rehearsing and revising my presentation, although I did work on it yesterday until I got an email that two cats at the South L.A. shelter needed to be photographed for potential rescuers. I called Andrea, one of my favorite volunteers, and the two of us headed down there to take photos of various cats and dogs.

Here's one cat still in need of a home or rescuer:

As well as all of these guys:

While this lucky girl was adopted, named Zoe, and went to her new home:

Meanwhile, this poor guy was found injured and tied to the fence at the shelter annex because his former owner didn't have the decency to turn him in at the front desk:

When I get home I talk to my cats about all the animals still at the shelter (yes, I'm one of those people) but this time they just looked at me like they were asking, "Don't you have a presentation to work on?"

I did finish writing it, even timed it with a stopwatch and it's just right.

As for my hair... maybe there'll be room in my carry-on for a hat, just in case.

Don't Yell At Me! I'm A Volunteer

2008-10-20T21:22:00.001-07:00

Someone once gave me one of these pins and it got a good response so I had a batch made to give out to the volunteers at the Mobile Pet Adoption events, even though I don't usually wear mine there - I prefer to wear it at work.

I did go to the MPA yesterday. I wore this pin instead:

It took a while to get there as the Aids Walk was passing through my neighborhood. I had no idea the homeless guy with the white pit bull was one of our local celebrities, but there they were walking with the crowd, cheered on by all who know them.

Since I was stuck in traffic anyway, I figured I'd jump out of my car and hand him some cans of dog food (I always stock the kind with the flip-top lid), but then worried they might have gone bad in the back of my car since it's been hot out. I called a friend who assured me the food was fine, handed it off, then got back into my car and headed north.

This is how I live my life; I try to do a good deed and then panic it will only harm the recipient.

Kind of like what happens at the MPA. I usually just take photos and roam around sort of helping, but don't actually handle a dog for the day because it seems my dog never gets adopted. But yesterday, around 2pm, I was asked to hold a 5-month-old German shepherd puppy. What could be more adoptable than that? Well, there were a few people interested, but at the end of the day she was still headed back to the shelter in search of a home.

On the plus side, it did seem to be a good day for some older mutts to get bathed and adopted. Like these guys:

And two weeks ago, a woman came hoping to adopt a Shih Tzu, then changed her mind when a slightly larger dog sat on her foot and she fell in love. Here's the slightly-larger-than-a-Shih-Tzu Ruger, with his new mom and saying hello to another shelter hopeful:

I mentioned my bad luck to one of the other volunteers and she suggested that next time they'll have me hold a dog that's already been adopted. We'll see how that goes...

Lights! Camera! Adoption!

2008-09-22T17:54:00.001-07:00

A film crew from a USC documentary class came to the Mobile Pet Adoption yesterday.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't caught on-camera. Hope so. It was hot and I was wearing shorts and although I've lived in L.A. for 19 years, my legs still look like they've never seen the sun.

(No photo of my legs here -- too much glare.)

But the film crew did see a bunch of dogs getting bathed and/or adopted...

This 8-year-old girl was covered in ticks and fleas and the mysterious baseball-capped volunteer (okay, it's Karen!) ran her through the wash cycle multiple times with special shampoo. Although she wasn't adopted yesterday, there's been interest from rescue groups as well as private adopters and I'm pretty sure she'll be out of the shelter for good very soon.

Hope the same thing happens to this sweet thing who somehow wasn't picked yesterday:

Altogether, 14 dogs and 3 cats found new homes this time and this 2-week-old kitten is being fostered by a volunteer who carried her around inside her sweatshirt all day. (I must remember to wear my reading glasses when taking photos. Trust me, in person this kitten is in focus.)

OK, no photo of my legs, but how about my feet? Here's the first photo I ever took on my cell phone - it's me, at work. I don't remember what I was reading.

Please email me if you can figure it out.

Beware of this cat?

2008-09-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

I've been friends with Tom for about thirteen years, ever since he looked like this:

When Tom was two years old, I made him promise to take me to his high school prom. For about a year he agreed to do it, then one day when I reminded him, he said, "No! You're too old."

But he did agree to come along on Saturday to help pick up a dog and a cat from the same city shelter and then deliver them to two different locations. Upon arriving at the shelter, Tom immediately made friends with a little dog one of the volunteers had brought outside.

He even got a kiss:

No matter how early I get to the shelter, it seems the paperwork always takes a little longer than expected and we had to make it to our first stop by 1:00pm, to drop off this female Lab:

We were so excited about the great parking space I got, right in front of the building, that as we loaded the furry passengers into my car, neither of us noticed the poop on the curb. Oh well.

(No photo of poop. Hope you don't mind.)

As I have no idea how to use that Bluetooth thing, I had Tom call ahead to let the kennel know we might be running late, but we made it at 12:59pm and this friendly dog is now right next door to the two Lab brothers I dropped off Thursday, all available through labsandbuddies.org.

Since we were close to my office, we decided to pick up lunch and then stop by before delivering the cat. As we walked back toward my car with our sandwiches, Tom headed for the driver's side. I found this very confusing so he had to explain to me, "I'm holding the door for you. I'm being polite." When was the last time you saw a kid do that? Wow!

At the office, my colleague Timmy was about to open the carrier when I warned him this cat might not be friendly. Supposedly his owners turned him in because he was vicious and attacked them in their sleep.

Jane, a volunteer, saw him in isolation and felt terrible that he didn't have a chance to be adopted by a member of the public. She put out the word, via email, to rescue groups and sure enough someone offered to take this monster.

Hardly the face of ferocious.

Next, we headed out to meet his rescuer at 2:30pm at a Starbucks just off the freeway. Fearing he might try to run away in the parking lot, we decided we'd all go into the restroom to transfer him to the rescuer's carrier, but an employee told us we couldn't bring an animal inside. Inconvenient, but nice to know they have health code policies in place. We ended up using the grooming room of a nearby Petco, where this guy made no attempt to run away.

Now named Gus, he is off to a wonderful new life.

In fact, his rescuer, Madelon, wrote us that night:

Gus is the sweetest cat I have ever met. All he wants to do is cuddle. He is as friendly as can be. He is not afraid of dogs. I had company tonight and he greeted everyone with love and kitty bumps on the leg. What a doll!

Tom and I then went back to Starbucks for Frappuccinos. There was a new guy behind the counter who took an extra minute to make Tom's drink, not that we even noticed or cared, but the manager insisted on giving us a coupon for a free drink. Saturday night was Tom's sister's 17th birthday party. He gave her the free drink card as a gift.

Thanks to Tom, Andrea, Jane, Chela, Madelon, Laura, Laura Beth and probably a few others I'm not aware of for these two rescues.

Although he has now fulfilled his school's community service commitment, Tom is looking forward to volunteering again. And I went home and put my sneakers into my washing machine.

Off the rack...

2008-09-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

Years ago, when I was working at Vogue, an editor asked me to get a white linen Issey Miyake shirt off a rack in the hallway. Seemed simple enough until I discovered it was one of about 20 white linen shirts on the rack, all prototypes without labels. Issey Miyake, Isaac Mizrahi... it may as well have been a shelf of 20 unlabeled videotapes and I was asked to guess which plain white box contained Gone with the Wind. That editor was so annoyed.

And yet, even I know you don't wear a boa with white shoes after Labor Day. Oh, Lisa, you will never win a fashion award like this:

Actually, this guy (girl?) was brought in to the shelter as a stray. A stray? What, someone left their door open and this thing slithered out onto Ventura Boulevard and into Cold Stone Creamery? I hope this boa gets rescued. I hope I get asked to drive it somewhere. I hope its new owners name it Feather.

Meanwhile, this young female German Shepherd and I took a ride out to Azusa this weekend. Thanks to Jane, Andrea and Chela, she's made it out of the shelter. And thanks to Maria and Adele, she'll be with German Shepherd Rescue of Orange County until she finds a permanent home.

And yes, she has one crooked paw, but that's good. Now you can tell her apart from the other designer Shepherds on the rack.

Junk Mail of the Stars

2008-08-19T19:49:00.001-07:00

I saw a few minutes of The View this morning. Caught Kirk Cameron talking about his days on Growing Pains and it reminded me that I am in possession of a piece of mail sent to him nearly twenty years ago by another celebrity, Ed McMahon. Now I know it's illegal to open other people's mail, but this envelope has remained sealed.

And yet, I'll bet I can guess how it begins:

Dear Mr. Cameron:

You may have already won ten million dollars!

Yes, that's right, it's Kirk Cameron's American Family Publishers entry form, circa 1989. Of course, the great irony is that today it's Mr. McMahon who could really use the bucks.

I had a friend visiting from NYC this week so I showed her the city by dragging her along on a 130-mile trek to deliver this mother and daughter from South L.A. to a foster in Orange County (and then the next day we went to Griffith Observatory).

Also stopped by the MPA on Sunday to drop off the Golden Spigot for the dog wash. Although we didn't stay too long, we did get to see Buddy, a Collie/Retriever/Whatever mix get adopted by this nice couple and their Maltese/Yorkie, or as they they prefer to call her, a Morkie.

Altogether, 14 dogs and 5 cats found new homes on Sunday. And thanks to Donald Trump, I hear Mr. McMahon will be keeping his old one. That lucky dog.

Fairy Dogmother Grants Three Wishes

2008-08-13T00:07:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a happy, friendly dog named Fannie who somehow got dumped at a city shelter. She was filthy, matted and obese from lack of exercise. Everyone's best guess was that she was a German Shepherd/Australian Shepherd mix, but more significantly, she was just another middle-aged discarded pet. No one paid much attention to her or showed any interest in adopting her. Then, one day, Fannie was red-listed. She thought this was a good thing, to be on a special list. How could she know that the red list meant she could be put to sleep at any time?

Fortunately, Fannie had a Fairy Dogmother named Andrea who saw the list, came to meet her, knew immediately what a good dog she was and then sent out emails to rescuers.

"No guarantees," Andrea told Fannie, "but if I could grant you three wishes, what would they be?"

"Well," said Fannie, "I'd like to have a bath and a haircut so everyone can see how beautiful I am. For my second wish, I'd like to have my new mom show up to adopt me before I'm even done with the grooming session, and then, for my third wish, I'd like to go home the same day and live happily ever after."

Okay, so Fannie can't really talk and she's not that demanding anyway, but check out the rest of this fairy tale. Andrea asked Jane if she could bring her carload of grooming supplies on Sunday...

And Jane spent three-and-a-half hours brushing, bathing and beautifying Fannie...

...who looked much healthier once Jane had removed a whole bagful of tangled fur.

Still, there was concern that Fannie might not be saved in time, until it turned out that someone had cross-posted the plea on Craigslist. And before Jane had even begun Fannie's pedicure, a wonderful woman named Sheila, who lived far away in the Valley, showed up holding a copy of the Craigslist ad.

As soon as Sheila entered the room, she knew Fannie was the perfect dog for her. And although Fannie was pretty attached to Andrea at this point, it didn't take long for Fannie to realize that this was the mom of her dreams.

Oh, and since Fannie was already spayed, she went home that day.

Is this what they mean by Animal Magnetism?

2008-08-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

I've got a slight cold, maybe a fever, but there's no one to call in sick to on a Saturday. I figured I'd open up the gym and then hide in the office where I wouldn't be sneezing and coughing on everyone. About twenty minutes later I heard a tapping sound going across the gym floor and worried the building might have rats (again!). So I opened the door to look and this is who was standing there:

Seriously, how do they keep finding me?

I must have startled her because she ran away. Of course I followed, then headed to my car for a leash and some dog food and treats.

She had a collar (I knew her owners had to live nearby - I've seen that collar up the road at Dollar King) , but no ID so I made some signs and walked her around the park as we posted them. (Once I gave her cookies she'd follow me anywhere.)

No one in the park knew her so after about an hour I called a nearby vet to see if we could go over and check for a microchip. Just as I was loading her into my car, her owners showed up. Probably thought I was stealing their dog. Her name is Angel, which suits her, and she is chipped. That's good. Now they just have to train her not to break out of their yard.

In other blog-related news, my friends Peter and Lynn who live in the Berkeley area had offered to adopt the lost Chi I found under a van in a parking lot a few weeks ago, as a friend for their Chi/Terrier Jedi. When another rescuer took in the lost dog, they decided to go ahead anyway and get Jedi a buddy. They called the same rescue Jedi came from and ended up with Mango. Coincidentally, Mango was also found wandering in a parking lot.

Do Chihuahuas like to shop or something?

Apparently Mango had been adopted before but had "too much energy" for that family and was returned. Lynn tells me she's just right for Jedi and they're keeping her.

I remember visiting Peter, Lynn and family for Thanksgiving a number of years ago. After dinner we went for a walk and their two kids whined and complained the entire time. But I'll bet Jedi and Mango just love it.

Cats here! Get your cats here!

2008-08-04T16:22:00.000-07:00

We've gotta get the word out that there are cats at these adoptions, too. Only two of eight were adopted yesterday, but who wouldn't want a cat? They're entertaining, quiet, will most likely cause someone you dislike anyway to sneeze and, best of all, they're self-cleaning.

Dogs, on the other hand, need a little help washing up.

Fortunately, once again, the mysterious baseball-capped "VOLUNTEER" showed up to bathe some dirty shelter dogs and increase their chances of adoption.

Looks like it worked as some nineteen dogs found homes yesterday, including these two new neighbors, adopted by families who live on the same street:

This puppy (yes, puppy) found a new home, too:

I'm not sure who else got adopted since I had to leave early to meet a friend. We went to Starbuck's where a Frappuccino still costs slightly less than a gallon of gas. Unless you're comparing them ounce for ounce, in which case it would be cost-effective to drink unleaded.

Anyway, here are some of the other dogs who attended. Let's hope they all find homes before the next MPA.

Despite the large turnout...

... not every dog makes it out of the shelter.

I seem to have a knack for finding lost dogs. Or they have a knack for finding me. The ones that have ID or microchips are easy to send home. The others, unclaimed by their owners, have all been rescued and/or adopted. Until now.

I was on my way to the site of the MPA when I found this dog on June 13th, heading for the freeway. She was a little bit shy but allowed me to put a collar and leash on her and then jumped into my car. We stopped at the park and she was happy to walk around and greet people. But then I had to take her to the shelter. She had a torn collar, but no ID or microchip.

I was hoping to bring her to the next MPA, but by then she was sick. And then she became anti-social. And then she just never had a real chance.

I thought I would be notified before she was put to sleep, to send out urgent emails to potential rescuers, but I never got that call and now it's too late. I will always wonder if I should have left her wandering along the roadside. I regret that I couldn't do better and I resent her owners who let her get loose and then never came looking for her. She was waiting at the shelter for six weeks. She was probably three or four years old.

I hate to end on such a sad note, so let me just add that Dr. Henry Kittenger (top) allowed me to trim his nails today in record time.

His good behavior was rewarded with Whisker Lickin's although he also enjoys Cheerios and milk and believes this diet will lower his cholesterol.