Cool Jokes Collection

Dil me basaya hai tumhe

2009-07-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

Dil me basaya hai tumhe kabhi aate jate raha karo
kuch meri ghajle suna karo kuch apne sher kaha karo

jab hote ho paas to dhadkane jawan hoti hai dil ki
na do jindagi ki dua bus mere kareeb raha karo

tumhe dekhte hai to in aankho ko sukoon hota hai
so jayein kabhi to ban ke khwab ankho me raha karo

Aadin Dil hai banjar baharo se dushmani hai meri
kabhi ban kar sawan mere rooh par barsa karo

Performance Pressure

2009-07-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

Poultry farm ke malik ne tammam Murgiyon ko Order diya
"Agar tum logon ne kal se Do -- Do ande nahi diye to kal se tumhara dana pani band "

Murgiya dar gayi ....sab ne do do ande diye magar ek murgi ne sirf ek anda diya "

Malik "tum ne 1 anda hi kyon diya "
.

.
.

Jawab mila.
.

..

"Sir ye aapke darr ki wajah se de diya hai, waise to main Murga hoon.

Ek Khwahish Hai

2009-07-09T07:08:00.000-07:00

ek khwaish hai jhalak mil jaye uss chehre ki
ke iss deedaar ki baat ki koi tamanna na rahe

ek khwaish hai uss dil tak pahunche sadayein
ke do dilon ki dhadkonon mein koi doori na rahe

ek khwaish hai rishta jood jaye uss naam se
ke phir jooda rehne ki koi majboori na rahe

ek khwaish hai woh pyar mile unse
ke iss dil ki koi aur arzoo na rahe

ek khwaish hai woh haath tham le is tarah
ke phir iss dil ki koi kamjori na rahe

ek khwaish hai maut aa jaye unki baahon mein
ke phir zindagi se koi shikayat na rahe

ek khwaish hai ke laut aaye woh
ke phir intzaar ki koi wajah na rahe

ek khwaish hai bhar jaye khushiyon se daaman
ke kisi gham ki koi jagah na rahe

ek khwaish hai sang chale woh umr bhar mere
ke phir kisi aur ka aasra na rahe

ek khwaish poori ho jaye her khwaish iss dil ki
ke phir khuda se koi iltazaa na rahe.

Shayari with Fun

2009-07-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

---------------------------------------------------------------
na janey kyun annkhen naam hein hamari

koi to hay sala jo pyaz kaat raha hay...

-------------------------------------------------------------
jee bhar kar hamen roney do Aaaj

ek hi larki ka number tha wo bhi delete hogaya.

-------------------------------------------------------

Lait ke aksar ye sochta hoon main

agar baith kar sochon to konsi maut aajaeygi....
-------------------------------------------------------------------

aaj wo milney per bohot hans rahi thi

uskey janey ke baad pata chala ke meri pant ki zip khuli thi....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
hawa sehat k liye achi hoti hey dosto

us ney ye keh kar meri dhoti khenchli....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

aadin aansuo se na ho daman kisi ka maila

2009-07-07T08:10:00.001-07:00

Kabhi sath chalkar kabhi mujhe sath lekar
badal gaya wo sakhs mere halat badal kar

jispe hua tera karam wo khushnaseeb hoga
mere armaan bah gaye ashko ke sath dhalkar

tere julfo ke saaye dil aaj bhi dhundta hai
kabhi kali ghata bankar kafi chawn bankar

roshan hui hai shama uth ke mahfil se meri
mere charag bujh rahe hai teri yaad me jalke

aye khuda de pata mujhe mere sukoon-e-yaar ka
jo chip gaya hai kahi mere jabaat badalkar

aadin aansuo se na ho daman kisi ka maila
aaino ka sahar hai ye le saans bhi sambhal ke

Pappu and Doctor

2009-07-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

Doctor to patient : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.
Pappu : Doctor saheb Pehle se zyada kharab ho gayi hai.Doctor : dawai khali thi kya?
Pappu : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : Are Pappu ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.
Pappu : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.
Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?
Pappu : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.
Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?
Pappu : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.
Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai?
Pappu : Nai doctor saheb.
Doctor : Kyon?
Pappu : Kyonki dhakkan band tha.
Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.
Pappu : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.
Doctor : Tera ilaj main nai kar sakta.
Pappu : Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Pappu Pass Ho Gaya

2009-07-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

Pappu ki maut bijli girnay say hui
par uski laash muskuratay hue mili
baghwan ne pucha aisa kyun?
pappu bola “mai nu laga koi photo khinch raiya ae”
__________________________________________________
Pappu: Kaam wali shanti ko bulao.!
Wife: Kyun?
Pappu: Doctor ne kaha hai, raat mein dawa khane ke baad shanti ke saath so jaana.
__________________________________________________
pappu on telephone : maa ek khus khabri hai…maa : kya khus khabri hai ?pappu : aaj hum do se teen ho gaye….maa : mubarak ho.. ladka hua ya ladki ?pappu : meri biwi ne dusri shaadi karli hai…
__________________________________________________
One day evening a Pappuji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way… Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually? Pappuji: ‘I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home. Friend: ‘Is it! Then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?’ Pappuji: ‘I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.
__________________________________________________
Pappu and his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide, you have 3 children?
Pappu replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
__________________________________________________
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Pappuji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar: what do u mean by Ph.d?
Pappuji : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..

Love and Ego

2009-07-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

Love & Ego
Once upon a time, there was an island, where all the feelings livedtogether. Love, Joy, Peace, Wonder, Amazement, Awe, even hatred & envy andall those you can think of...One day there was a storm in the sea and the island was about to getdrowned. Every feeling was scared but Love made a boat to escape. Everyfeeling boarded the boat. One feeling was left behind. Love got down to seewho it was.
It was EGO
Love tried and tried but ego wasn't moving meanwhile the water was risingby the minute. Every one asked love to leave him and come on the boat, butlove was made to love, he could not leave Ego alone to die. At last all thefeelings escaped and Love died with ego on the island.
Love dies because of EGO.

patthar pe khichi lakeer mitaye kaise

2009-07-05T06:53:00.000-07:00

samajh nahi aata usko bhulaye kaise
patthar pe khichi lakeer mitaye kaise
bhool gaya hai mujhe vajood apna hi
Ankho me aks kiska hai bataye kaise
mujhe karke benoor chala gaya sakhs wo
ki khud rang apna kisiko dikhaye kiase
ho jurm to maut bhi haskar kabool
haiapne hi ishq ko mujrim tharaye kaise
apne halat par usse sawal karte aadin
par jo soya ho kabr me use jagaye kaise

पत्नी चालीसा

2009-07-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

नमो-नमो पत्नी महारानी,
तुम्हारी महिमा कोई ना जाने !! 1 !!

हमने समझा तुम अबला हो,
पर तुम तो सब से बड़ी बाला हो. !! 2 !!

जिस दिन हाथ में बेलन आवे,
उस दिन पति खूब चिल्लावे !! 3 !!

सारे बेड पे पत्नी सोवे,
पति बैठ फर्श पर रोवे. !! 4 !!

तुमसे ही घर मथुरा,काशी,
और तुमसे ही घर सत्यानसी. !! 5 !!

पत्नी चालीसा जो नर गावे,
सब सुख छोड़ परम दुख पावे.!!

gali ka luccha kutta humko din dahade kaat gaya

2009-07-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

Ghanto tak tha raha woh sote
kaise achanak jaag gaya

meri jalebi ki khushboo ko
na jaane kaise bhaap gaya

phir laga peeche aane woh
pathar mara toh bhaag gaya

mere nihathe hote hi woh
phir meri taraf raftaar hua

mera dhuwadar farrata mano
phir pura bekaar gaya

gali ka luccha kutta humko
din dahade kaat gaya

Famous Quotes from Chanakya

2009-07-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

Life is what happens when you plan to do other things - John Lennon

——————————————————————————–

Learn from the mistakes of others… you can’t live long enough to make them all yourselves!!

——————————————————————————–

Aperson should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest peopleare screwed first.”
- Chanakya
——————————————————————————–

“Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.”
- Chanakya
——————————————————————————–

“The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you.”
- Chanakya
——————————————————————————–

“There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.”
- Chanakya
——————————————————————————–

“Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.”
- Chanakya

Hindi Jokes

2009-06-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

1 - टीचर: सच ओर वहम में क्या फ़र्क़ है ?
स्टूडेंट: आप जो हमें पढ़ा रही हैं वो सच है, लेकिन हम सब पढ़ रहे हैं ये आपका वहम है……..

2 - लड़का: माँ, आज मेरा दोस्त घर आ रहा है….
घर के सब खिलोने छिपा दे.
माँ: तेरा दोस्त चोर है क्या?
लड़का: नहीं, वो अपने खिलोने पहेचान लेगा !

3 - एक छोटा बच्चा बहुत देर से घर के बाहर खड़ा दरवाजे की घंटी बजाने की कॉसिश कर रहा था.तो एक बूढ़ा आदमी आया और कहा:
बूढ़ा आदमी: क्या कर रहे हो बेटा?
बच्चा: अंकल, यह घंटी बजाना चाहता हूँ.
बूढ़ा आदमी (घंटी बजI के): यह लो बज गया, अब क्या है?
बच्चा: अब भागो!

4 - कस्टमर: मुझे फोन पेर धमकिया मिल रही है.
पोलीस: कौन है वो जो आपको धमकिया दे रहा है?
कस्टमर: टेलिफोन वाले बोलते है के, “बिल नही भरोगे तो काट देंगे.”

5 - मालिक: तुम बाथरूम में क्यू घुस आए, क्या तुम्हे पता नही था की मैं नहा रहा हूँ?
नौकर: हज़ूर ग़लती हो गयी, में समझा था बेगम साहिबा है.

6 - लोग कहते हैं की खुदा ने आपको बड़ी फ़ुर्सत में बनाया है…
ठीक ही कहते हैं, फालतू काम फ़ुर्सत में ही तो किए जाते हैं.

Fun With Shayari

2009-06-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

apni shaadi me zayaada deri mat karna,

dil tumhari saheli par aa jaye to mat kehna,

main to aashiq hoon khoobsurti ka jaana,

meri baarat tumhare pados me aaye to mat kehna

________________________________________________

Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna,

Jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna,

Agar wo gusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat,

Raakhi nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna.

________________________________________________

Lab khamosh hote hain jab tum saamne aati ho,

Dil dhadakta hai jab nigaahein milaati ho,

Saans ruk jaati hai jab muskuraate ho,

Bhoot ho kya jo tum itna daraate ho.

________________________________________________

Oooooooooooooooo!!!Huzoor bhad mein gaya tera suroor,
Surat se tu lagta khajoor,
Bidi Ki Factory ka majdoor,
Chal Ho jaa Dooooor,
Gadhe, Ullu, Langoor.

_________________________________________________

Funny Shayaries

2009-06-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

Unse ham kuch keh bhi nahi paatein hai
Bin unke dedaar ke reh bhi nahi paatein hai
Jaane kyun dil ki baat dil hi main reh jaati hai
Hum nukkad pe khade rahate hai woh nikal jaati hai....
Roz sochte hai ki dil ki baat zubaan pe layenge
Issi baras phir dilwale dulhaniyaa le jaayengee.
Par afsoos baat jubaan pe aakee atak jaati hai
Aur uske saamne aate hi palak jhapak jaati hai....
==========================================
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha
to yaad aaya kuch to hua hai kuch ho gaya hai,
exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya
sab kuch alag hai sab kuch naya hai.
===================================
Koi achha lage to use pyar mat karna,
uske liye apni ninden bekaar mat karna,
do din to aayenge khushi se milne,
teesre din kahenge mera intjar mat karna...
============================================
unki her ek ada ke hum kayal ho gaye,
unki tirchi nazar se jo hum ghayal ho gaye
assaliyat jani hamne ki nazar tirchi hai unki
to laga aisa sadma ki hum pagal ho gaye
====================================

Jokes for Fun

2009-06-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne.

Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500.

Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi

_______________________________________________________________

Santa ek baar naye shahar me gaya.waha bus se utar ke mitti ko utha ke bola

"waaah" yahan ki mitti ki khushboo hi alag hai.. Ek adami bola abe sale

dhyan se dekh ye mitti nahi gobar hai...!!!

___________________________________________________

Ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha “Tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”

Jate jate chor seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!

___________________________________________________

Shopkeeper: Agar itane paise bachaane hon toh kaagaj ki kyoon nahee pehan lete?

Baniya: Ghar ke saare puraane kaagaj mera betaa le gayaa... baniyaan banaane ke liye

Husband Wife Jokes

2009-06-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband : 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
********************************************************************************************************************************
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
********************************************************************************************************************************
Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
********************************************************************************************************************************

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."

********************************************************************************************************************************
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'

Its Just for fun…

2009-06-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Shaadi se pehle - Biviho to esi
Shaadi ke baad - Bivi hai kesi ?

Shaadi se pehle - Hero No. 1

Interview of An IAS

2009-06-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

"When did India get independence?" He was asked.

"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.

"Who was responsible for our independence?"

"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.

"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"

"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.

When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?"

He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."

Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?"

He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".

The interviewer was incensed.

"Hey! Are you mad or what?"

He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report."

Hindi Jokes

2009-06-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

1 - मालिक: तुम बाथरूम में क्यू घुस आए, क्या तुम्हे पता नही था की मैं नहा रहा हूँ?
नौकर: हज़ूर ग़लती हो गयी, में समझा था बेगम साहिबा है.

2 - टीचर: सच ओर वहम में क्या फ़र्क़ है ?
स्टूडेंट: आप जो हमें पढ़ा रही हैं वो सच है, लेकिन हम सब पढ़ रहे हैं ये आपका वहम है……..

3- लड़का: माँ, आज मेरा दोस्त घर आ रहा है….
घर के सब खिलोने छिपा दे.
माँ: तेरा दोस्त चोर है क्या?
लड़का: नहीं, वो अपने खिलोने पहेचान लेगा !

4- एक छोटा बच्चा बहुत देर से घर के बाहर खड़ा दरवाजे की घंटी बजाने की कॉसिश कर रहा था.तो एक बूढ़ा आदमी आया और कहा:
बूढ़ा आदमी: क्या कर रहे हो बेटा?
बच्चा: अंकल, यह घंटी बजाना चाहता हूँ.
बूढ़ा आदमी (घंटी बजi के): यह लो बज गया, अब क्या है?
बच्चा: अब भागो!

5- कस्टमर: मुझे फोन पेर धमकिया मिल रही है.
पोलीस: कौन है वो जो आपको धमकिया दे रहा है?
कस्टमर: टेलिफोन वाले बोलते है के, “बिल नही भरोगे तो काट देंगे.”

6 - लोग कहते हैं की खुदा ने आपको बड़ी फ़ुर्सत में बनाया है…
ठीक ही कहते हैं, फालतू काम फ़ुर्सत में ही तो किए जाते हैं.

7 - जो तुमको हो पसंद वोही बात कहेंगे,
तुम दिन को अगर रात कहो तो रात कहेंगे,
क्यूंकी… … "पागलो से बहस नही की जा सकती"….

8 - बहू का फर्स्ट अफेयर सुनने के बाद ससुर ने बहू को मारा!
2न्ड अफेयर पता लगने पर पति ने मारा!
लेकिन सास हर बार चुप रही!
क्यूँ??
.
क्यूंकी सास भी कभी बहू थी!

9 - टीचर: उसने खुद खुशी कर ली, उससे खुद खुशी करनी पड़ी, डिफरेन्स बताओ.

स्टूडेंट: पहले वाला पढ़ा लिखा बेरोज़गार था, दूसरा शादी शुदा था.

10 - एक बार एक तोता उड़ रहा था फुल स्पीड पर.
उसके सामने अचानक फुल स्पीड में एक फरारी आ रही थी, दोनो की टक्कर हुई…
तोता बेहोश होगा या, रास्ते में एक भिकारी था उसने तोता को उठाया और घर ले गया.
उसको मरहम लगाया और पिंजरे में रख दिया.
जब तोता को होश आया, उसने अपने आप को पिंजरे में देखा.

और बोला, “आईला … जेल …. वो फरारी का ड्राइवर मर गया क्या ??

Hasi Ke Hasgulle

2009-06-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?

CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?

CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bail, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Bailgaadi.

************************************************** ******
Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.

Santa: Bolo.

Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!

Santa: It's a gud News. Isme maarne wali kya baat hai ji.

Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

************************************************** *******

Santa ke ghar Ladki ne janam liya..

Banta: jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge.

Santa: Maine iska intejaam kar liye hai.

Banta: kya kiya?

Santa: Ladki ka naam DIDI rakh diya hai.

************************************************** *******

Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.

Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya???”

Pathan herat se… “Pura cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”

************************************************** *******

Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.

Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.

************************************************** *******

New Jokes Collection

2009-05-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

Sante ne Apni Biwi ko Dost k sath ghumte hoye dekh kr Dost ko goli mar di
biwi boli
Apne Gusse pe kabu rakho Varna 1din sare Dosto se Hath
dho bethoge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baap bete se: Car mein puncture kaise ho gaya?

Beta: Sadak par bottle padi thi.

Baap: Bottel dikhayi nahi di tujhe!

Beta: Ladke ki jeb mein thi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Math Teacher : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 lottery ticket to le le"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1st sardar: o yar agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ke banda soo hi jaye
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Hindi Prof. Begin to start English

2009-04-25T06:23:00.000-07:00

Inside the Class :
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class ( meaning AFTER the class) when I am empty
(meaning when he is FREE).
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today...
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....

About his family :

* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

At the ground :

* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.

To a boy, angrily :

* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

Giving a punishment :

* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)

आज भी है !!!!!!!!

2009-03-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

Teri yaad se rishta kal bhi tha
teri yaad se rishta aaj bhi hai,,

Dil apna dukhta kal bhi tha
dil ye udaas aaj bhi hai,,

Jo pyar hum tum karte they
woh pyar to zinda aaj bhi hai,,

Hum bichad gaye is doori mein
tum door ho majboori mein,,

Kabhi waqt mile to chali ana
khula dil ka darwaza aaj bhi hai,,

Na sataao, na tadpaao..... .
na mehfil mein yu tanha chodo,

Teri yaad me jaage kal bhi they,
teri yaad me jaage aaj bhi hain......

याद आते हैं वो दिन |

2009-02-22T06:38:00.000-08:00