HK AND CULT FILM NEWS

NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS -- DVD review by porfle

2009-11-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

Less a warm family holiday film and more of a "mi familia loca" soap opera, NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS (2008) takes its time finally gathering up all the strings of its plot and weaving them into a mildly interesting variation of a familiar story, this time involving a Puerto Rican brood in Chicago.

The dysfunctional Rodriguez family contains enough drama for at least a whole season of primetime TV (including a Christmas special). Freddy Rodriguez ("El Wray" of PLANET TERROR) is returning Iraq war vet Jesse, haunted by guilt because he survived an explosion that killed his friend and unwilling to take over the family business as expected. Another GRINDHOUSE alumnus, Vanessa Ferlito (DEATH PROOF), is his actress sister Roxanna who hides the fact that she isn't the big star everyone thinks she is. With his usual manic energy, John Leguizamo plays Mo, the white-collar businessman brother whose Caucasian wife, Sarah (Debra Messing), also a biz whiz, is happy to let her biological clock tick away as her in-laws pray for grandchildren.

Of course, various romantic dramas are explored--Jesse yearns to get back with his ex-girlfriend Marissa (Melonie Diaz), who's involved with someone else, while Roxanna considers getting serious with family friend Ozzy (Jay Hernandez) but worries about his murderous vendetta against the neighborhood guy (Manny Perez) who killed his brother. All of this, however, takes a back seat to the bombshell that gets dropped on all of their heads during a big family dinner--namely, the sudden announcement by mother Anna (Elizabeth Peña) that she's divorcing their father Edy (Alfred Molina) after 36 years of marriage because she suspects him of cheating on her.

Until that moment, I kept wondering what direction NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS was going to take. It wasn't funny enough to be a comedy, although it does manage to be fairly amusing at times. I like this exchange between father Edy and war veteran son Jesse:

"We know you've been through a lot. Your mother and me, we rented 'Coming Home.'"

"I'm surprised you didn't rent 'Taxi Driver.'"

"Yeah, we rented that, too."

Luis Guzmán certainly does his obnoxious best to comedy things up as nephew Johnny, and it's fun seeing Leguizamo play a more conservative and vaguely nerdy character. The various dramatic elements also aren't all that engaging at first, and need time to percolate before yielding much interest. As a warm and fuzzy family Christmas story, it's barely there. But Mama Rodriguez' divorce decree throws the switch on what makes the rest of it work--now everyone's worried about not only their present concerns, but the fact that this will likely be their last Christmas together as a family.

There's a good running gag about the menfolk trying in vain to cut down a big, gnarly tree in the front yard which refuses to budge, which is probably symbolic of something if you think about it long enough. Rodríguez, Ferlito, and Leguizamo get some nice chemistry going in some of their scenes together. I could do without the pandering "white people" cracks, and it's troubling to see members of the family openly insult Sarah to her face in Spanish or refer to her as "Barbie Doll", especially when she's making an awkward effort to fit in. Her character, however, gains unexpected depth when she later becomes an ally to Edy after he reveals a crucial secret to her.

The film is at its best when Molina and Peña are on the screen. Alfred Molina can convey great warmth, as is evident even in his early scenes in SPIDERMAN 2, and his performance here is the emotional heart of the whole story. Elizabeth Peña, likewise, lends a realism and maturity to her role with seemingly little effort. Among the rest of the cast, the standout for me is Freddy Rodríguez in a sensitive and soulful performance that provides interesting counterpoint to his bombastic hero "El Wray" in PLANET TERROR.

The Anchor Bay DVD is in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 5.1 and Spanish mono. English and Spanish subtitles are available. Extras include a commentary with director Alfredo De Villa, producer Robert Teitel, and Freddy Rodríguez, about fifteen minutes of bloopers, a trailer, and a cast reunion featurette (minus Molina and Leguizamo).

As a comedy-drama about the importance of family, friends, and lovers, and a celebration of Puerto Rican culture, NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS comes together in its second half with a pretty satisfying payoff. Not looking for it to become a Christmas tradition, though.

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NOT FORGOTTEN -- DVD review by porfle

2009-11-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

An interesting thriller that goes in directions I wasn't expecting, NOT FORGOTTEN (2009) starts out like a bland "father searches for kidnapped daughter" TV-movie and gradually gets much darker, weirder, and more intense.

Simon Baker, who played the "Movie Premiere Pot Bust" guy in L.A. CONFIDENTIAL, stars as Jack Bishop, a mild-mannered dad who coaches his 11-year-old daughter Toby's (Chloe Moretz) soccer team. After the death of Toby's mother, he marries Amaya (Paz Vega) and they seem to have a normal, relatively happy life until the day Toby disappears during soccer practice.

A sex offender is the first suspect, but the trail soon leads into stranger territory that involves a Mexican religious cult called Santa Muerte, a prostitution ring involving young girls, and some unsavory characters who appear to recognize Jack and keep calling him "Roberto." While the police and FBI seem to be going in circles, Jack heads south of the border himself and is drawn into a nightmare of violence and deception.

I thought this might turn into a variation on Paul Schader's HARDCORE, in which crusading dad George C. Scott followed his missing daughter into the dehumanizing depths of the L.A. porn scene. But while he was a straight arrow type with clearly-defined motives, there's more to Jack Bishop than we originally suspect. It's interesting to watch how easily he casts off his civilized fascade and blends into the world of the people he's hunting as though he belonged there. Simon Baker, whose work I'm beginning to like more and more, is very convincing in the role.

Director Dror Soref, who co-wrote the screenplay with producer Tomás Romero, starts things out slow and keeps a deliberate pace all the way to the end. Instead of getting faster and flashier, the story intensifies by growing stranger and more unpredictable, unveiling its revelations one at at time. Just when you think you've got things pretty well figured out, another unexpected twist comes along.

Although NOT FORGOTTEN isn't a horror film, the Santa Muerte stuff is pretty creepy. Julia Vera is especially unnerving as Doña, a blank-eyed, bed-ridden psychic to whom Amaya takes a skeptical Jack for help. The pervasive influence of the cult over Jack's hometown creates an uneasy atmosphere, as does our gradual realization that hardly anything or anyone are what they seem.

Not being one of those hyper-perceptive viewers who see every twist coming, I was continually taken aback by the story's surprises, one of which is just how downbeat and violent it eventually becomes. The scene in which Jack confronts a suspected kidnapper in a fleabag motel bathroom, wielding a broken bottle and a really bad attitude, is riveting. While the final resolution and open ending had me mentally replaying everything that went before and trying to figure out if it all really made sense (still not sure), it was pretty effective overall.

The Anchor Bay DVD is in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 5.1. English subtitles for the hearing-impaired are available. Extras include a commentary track with director Soref and producer Romero, a trailer, and a brief behind-the-scenes featurette.

NOT FORGOTTEN largely eschews the usual cinematic bells and whistles and takes a more subtle approach, leading us slowly downward into a dark place like a demented tour guide and showing us all the bad things around every corner. Technically well-done, with a good cast, it's an exciting and involving thriller that should keep you in suspense till the end.

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EXILE -- DVD review by porfle

2009-11-02T23:39:00.000-08:00

For me, one of the most fun kinds of movies to watch are the ones in which an indie filmmaker with a little imagination and a passion for making movies scrapes a comparatively miniscule budget together and then goes for broke. One such filmmaker, Mike Conway, put his previous film THE AWAKENING together for less than $6,000, yet I watch it a lot more often than I do the MATRIX sequels.

His latest film, another sci-fi actioner entitled EXILE (2008), cost several times that amount yet the budget was still low enough to necessitate considerable ingenuity in lieu of wads of cash. Once again, Mike's very own backyard serves as a backlot, and I'm willing to bet most of those interiors were shot in his garage soundstage. Living in Las Vegas, Nevada means access to some nice desert scenery as usual, but here we also get some great location shots in a desolate area of Utah filled with crags, crevices, and volcanic rock.

The story returns to TERRARIUM territory (Mike's second feature, released on DVD by Lionsgate as WAR OF THE PLANETS) with a crashed spaceship on an alien planet inhabited by monsters. This time, cargo ship pilot Jason (Brian Sheridan) and his crew, Karen (Sheila Conway) and Glen (George Miklos), are hijacked by a stowaway (C.J. Hyatt) and forced to land on the planet Midlanteer, which is halfway between their warring planets of Granlibon and Kamoorsta. Jason and crew overpower the enemy soldier but are attacked by Kam fighter ships and crash-land. All three survive the crash but Jason is blinded while Karen and Glen are killed by large crablike creatures with stinger tails.

Jason soon makes a startling discovery--a towering female android named Reyna (the 6'4"-in-heels Heather Lei Guzzetta) who has been living in the hidden bunker laboratory of her recently-deceased creator. Reyna, who requires contact with a human in order to survive (something about bio-signatures that I didn't quite catch), adopts the blind Jason as a symbiotic partner and helps him stay alive against the bloodthirsty monsters and Kam soldiers who are after him. As their relationship deepens, the android eventually professes her love for Jason. But when he's captured by a search party during her absence, Jason learns a shocking secret that casts everything he thinks he knows about Reyna into serious doubt.

As is the case with all of Mike Conway's homegrown films, you have to keep the limited budget and resources in mind and make allowances whenever EXILE doesn't quite look like a Lucasfilms production. The fun part is seeing how stuff like this was pulled off in the first place. Conway gets a lot of mileage out of his After Effects program with some nifty digital trickery (particularly in the matte shots and gun flashes), and he manages some fairly cool green screen shots as well. Scott Lichfield's hideous planet monsters are nutty and fake-looking, but fun and rather ingeniously done. And as in the case of THE AWAKENING, Airsoft supplies some totally authentic-looking weaponry that adds a lot to the battle scenes.

Probably the most impressive visual elements of EXILE are the space scenes by visual effects artist James Rogers. Against a well-rendered background of stars and planets are some cool spaceships that are videogame-quality or better, with fluid movements and some interesting detail during the space battles. The cargo ship's crash landing on the planet (reminiscent of a similar sequence in PITCH BLACK) and subsequent destruction by Kam fighter ships are very well-done for this budget level. As always, one can either be dismissive of the relative simplicity of these effects or admire the fact that they look as good as they do.

With the Reyna character, Conway's script blends elements of TERMINATOR, ENEMY MINE, and Data from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" but manages to take things in an unexpected direction before it's over. Heather Lei Guzzetta is an imposing figure as always and is effective in the physical scenes. Brian Sheridan, of indie filmmaker Tiffany Sinclair's 2005 film PRAEY, gives a solid performance as Jason, while Sinclair herself is quite good as Jason's girlfriend Sira. Mike Conway's wife Sheila is her usual dependable self, with the performances of the rest of his stock company--including THE AWAKENING vets C.J. Hyatt, George Miklos, and Jake Bass--varying widely in quality. Daughter Carmen Conway does the opening narration.

The Utah exteriors look good although direction and photography at times display the somewhat rushed, unpolished quality you'd expect with such a tiny crew and harsh conditions. Fog and smoke effects are overdone in some shots, and the dubbing of the soldiers, whose faces are partially hidden by oxygen masks, is a bit awkward at times. Most of the action scenes are well-done, though, especially when Reyna goes on the offensive against the encroaching soldiers. I also like the ending, which is left intriguingly vague. All of this is accompanied by Mike Conway's own self-performed synthesizer score.

The DVD from Midnight Sun Entertainment is in 1.85:1 widescreen with stereo sound. Extras include the 16-minute "making of" featurette "Off World", a trailer, and a very brief short film entitled "Big Dreams."

As with the rest of Mike Conway's filmography, EXILE is one of those films that some will find entertaining while others can only shake their heads at how little it resembles the slick megabudget stuff they're accustomed to. As for me, I admire the audacity and tenacity of such do-it-yourself auteurs and enjoy seeing how much they can accomplish with so little to work with. It's sort of like a conjuring trick, making feature films out of thin air, and as always I look forward to seeing what Mike Conway will pull out of his hat next.

Buy it at Midnight Sun Entertainment

WHITE COMANCHE -- movie review by porfle

2009-11-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

In 1966, William Shatner starred as Captain James T. Kirk in episode #5 of "Star Trek:The Original Series", entitled "The Enemy Within", in which a transporter malfunction split him into two people--the good Kirk and the evil Kirk. Two years later, this wealth of Shatners continued when he traveled to Spain during a series hiatus and portrayed twin half-breed brothers in a low-budget, badly-directed and photographed Western called WHITE COMANCHE (1968). Once again, it was a face-off between good and evil Shatners, and a chance for him to lavish us with a double-dose of that eccentric acting style we all know and love.

How bad is this movie? The opening seconds give a good indication since it looks like we're about to see one of those home-movie-quality documentaries about Bigfoot that used to play in smalltown drive-ins. But instead of a big, hairy monster, we see Shatner as Johnny Moon, dressed in denim cowboy duds and riding a horse through the wilderness, while one of the worst movie scores ever written begins to massacre our brain cells. Suddenly he is set upon by a group of men who put a noose around his neck because they think he's his twin brother Notah Moon, who goes around with his band of renegade Comanches and kills the "pale eyes" for fun. Johnny gets away and rides to Notah's camp to await his return, because he's had it up to here with getting blamed for his brother's murderous shenanigans and is itching for a showdown.

Meanwhile, Notah and his motley crew of cut-ups have just attacked a stagecoach and shot all the drivers and passengers except for a beautiful young saloon babe named Kelly (the way-hot Argentinian actress Rosanna Yani), whom Notah gleefully rapes after slapping her around for awhile. It's weird seeing Bad Shatner here, looking like someone dressed in a half-assed Indian costume for Halloween, yelping "Hi-yi-yi!" and wearing that same goofy expression Captain Kirk used to have whenever he was a little too happy for some reason. He would again appear in a similar outfit later that year in the "Star Trek" episode "The Paradise Syndrome", in which the amnesia-stricken Kirk lives among a tribe of space Indians who believe him to be a god named "Kirok."

Anyway, Notah and his men eventually wander back to camp, which looks more like a dumpy commune full of hostile hippies than an Indian encampment. His squaw, White Fawn (Perla Cristal, another Argentinian), who appears as though she might be more at home hanging around a bowling alley in the Bronx, has his peyote ready for him. With it, Notah sees glorious visions of his people conquering the pale eyes, and his stirring exhortations of this impending victory, usually delivered while standing on a big rock, keep his followers all jazzed up and ready for action.

But Johnny steps on Notah's buzz by not only criticizing his copious drug use ("Eat the peyote, drug of the Devil...dream your dreams of hate"), but also by challenging him to a showdown in the nearby town of Rio Hondo in four days. After they diss each other for awhile, both enunciating in that rich, familiar Shatner cadence flavored with pseudo-Indian inflections--

"Notah is well-named...his liver is white, like his Yankee father...his heart burns blacker than the skin of his Comanche mother. He's white-bellied, like his name...'The Snake.'"

"Notah's brother talks like the white man he thinks he is. He's afraid...to be Comanche."

--Notah accepts the challenge. In four days, it'll be Shatner vs. Shatner on the streets of Rio Hondo.

On his way to town, Johnny comes upon a group of men getting ready to hang a guy, which seems to be the main source of entertainment in these parts. He outdraws a couple of goons and rescues the corpulent fellow, who explains that the men work for his boss' competitor, and the two big-shot land barons are getting ever closer to all-out war. Later in town, one of the land barons offers Johnny a job, but their negotiations are interrupted when the saloon babe, Kelly, grabs a gun and starts shooting at Johnny because she thinks he's Notah. Then he gets into a big barroom brawl with one of the guys who was about to hang the fat guy earlier, and they demolish every stick of breakaway furniture in the whole place.

Shatner seems to be doing his own stunts here, flying through bannisters and crashing through tables, which is interesting. He's also fighting in that odd, stylized way that Kirk used to do on Star Trek, which looks rather strange at times. After he whups the tar out of his opponent, Johnny finally convinces Kelly that he isn't Notah, because his eyes are a different color (Johnny's are brown, Notah's are black--like his eee-vil soul). Needless to say, they begin to fall in love.

Trying to keep the two warring factions from each other's throats while keeping a suspicious eye on Johnny is Sheriff Logan, played by top-billed Joseph Cotten. A veteran of such classics as CITIZEN KANE, THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS, and GASLIGHT, as well as scores of lesser films and TV appearances, Cotten gives the closest thing to a good performance in WHITE COMANCHE, although that's not saying much considering the competition. I don't know how in blue blazes he ended up in this--maybe he just felt like a vacation in Spain, or maybe the producer was holding his family hostage. At any rate, I doubt if he considered this one of the high points of his career.

As Johnny waits for Notah's imminent arrival, the tension between the two land barons and their men finally explodes into a big, sloppily-staged gun battle in the middle of town, with lot of guys getting shot between the eyes (it seems like anyone who gets shot in this movie gets shot right between the eyes) and falling over balconies and off of roofs and stuff. I never could figure out why getting shot always caused guys to fly forward off of balconies and roofs--it must be some weird Western law of physics that they don't teach us about in school for some reason.

When the dust settles, a whole bunch of guys are dead and the local undertaker will soon be able to afford that summer home in Miami Beach. Johnny is aces with Sheriff Logan now for helping out, and Kelly is ready to settle down with him and start pumping out a bunch of little Johnnies. But all isn't peachy-keen just yet, because here comes Notah, all hopped up on peyote and ready to take Johnny on in a fight to the death. ("You are as the wild duck that sits on the pond," Johnny tells Notah as he draws a bead on him from a bell tower.) Johnny shucks off his white-guy duds and straps on an official Indian headband so that we can't tell the two brothers apart during the exciting battle, stretching our already-frazzled nerves to the breaking point. (Or something like that.) Shouting "Hi-yi-yi!", the two warring Shatners ride toward each other on horseback, guns blazing, and...

...you'll just have to see for yourself how it turns out, which I'm sure you'll be aching to do as soon as possible after reading this. Whether you're a bad movie fan, a member of The First Church Of Shatnerology, or simply a masochist, WHITE COMANCHE is one Western you'll be wanting to get your grubby little hands on. This mind-warping tale of dueling Shatners is the perfect movie to stick into the old DVD player next time you want to get the guys together for a little do-it-yourself MST3K action.

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BATMAN: THE MOVIE (1966) -- movie review by porfle

2009-10-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

I remember when Bat-mania hit. When the Adam West TV series premiered, millions of kids were glued to their sets. We thrilled to the colorful adventures of the Caped Crusaders, Batman and Robin, as they fought to keep flamboyant foes such as Joker, Riddler, Penguin, and Catwoman from terrorizing the good citizens of Gotham City. It was like seeing the old Bob Kane comics brought to life, and we all went batty over it. In no time the Batman logo was all over T-shirts, lunch boxes, bubblegum cards--you name it. It was cooler than cool.

We didn't know it was a comedy. Most of our parents and older siblings didn't either--they just thought it was the silliest, stupidest thing they'd ever seen, and as we sat there watching each episode in Bat-ecstacy while the older folks poured on the derision, the jokes just went zooming like Batarangs right over all our heads. As I got a little older, I finally started to catch on to how dumb it was myself. But it wasn't till much later, when the Tim Burton movie prompted a lot of local stations to start showing reruns, that it finally dawned on me that "Batman" was one of the most deliriously funny comedies to ever hit the airwaves.

Meanwhile, back in my childhood...the show had been on for one season when word hit the playground that there was gonna be a movie. HOLY HOLLYWOOD, Batman! The local theater was packed to the gills with screaming kids on a Saturday morning back in '66 when BATMAN:THE MOVIE lit the place up. We sat in awe as our formerly TV-sized heroes went widescreen with bigger adventures, a bevy of bad guys, and better Bat-gadgets such as the Batcycle, the Batboat and the Batcopter, in addition to the already-awesome Batmobile. What we didn't realize at the time was that the movie was just as dumb as the TV series--maybe even dumber! Along with the POW!, WHAM!, and THUD! graphics that "Batman" was famous for, there might as well have been a giant ZOOM! above our heads as the jokes continued to sail right over them.

Back in the Batcave--that is, my livingroom, present day--I can now enjoy BATMAN:THE MOVIE as the wonderfully funny spoof that it is. Adam West as the wise, mysterious, somber Batman and Burt Ward as his earnest, straight-arrow yet boyishly-impetuous sidekick Robin are almost painfully deadpan. They take their responsibility as the Dynamic Duo, tireless protectors of Gotham City, with utmost seriousness, and they totally crack me up as they swoosh down their Batpoles, leap into the Batmobile, and Bat-a-pult into action against the nefarious foes of all that is decent.

Their dialogue is often hilarious, as in this Batcave think-session which features them trying to decipher two of the Riddler's fiendishly clever brain-teasers:

BATMAN: "Listen to these riddles, Robin...tell me if you interpret them as I do. One: what has yellow skin and writes?"
ROBIN: (after a moment's reflection) "A ballpoint banana!"
BATMAN: "Right! Two: what people are always in a hurry?"
ROBIN: "Rushing...people...Russians!"
BATMAN: "Right again. Now what would you say they mean?"
ROBIN: "Banana...Russian...I've got it! Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana peel and break their neck!"
BATMAN: "Precisely, Robin! The only...possible...meaning!"

Giving Batman and Robin a run for their money in the deadpan humor department is Neil Hamilton as Commissioner Gordon. To him, each new outbreak of villainy is the gravest catastrophe and would spell certain doom for Gotham City save for the intervention of the Caped Crusaders. His constantly apprehensive expression and dead-serious line delivery are perfect. When it appears that Gotham's most foul enemies have become partners in crime, he's utterly crestfallen. "Joker, Penguin, Riddler, and now, Catwoman..." the commissioner solemnly intones. "The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!"

The bad guys, on the other hand, get to have all the fun. Back then, everyone wanted to play a super-foe on "Batman"--even Frank Sinatra tried to land a role--and people who hated or didn't "get" the show were astonished by the list of big-name guest stars lining up to be on it. Here, Latin romantic star Cesar Romero plays the treacherous trickster, the Joker, his trademark moustache covered in white greasepaint (he refused to shave it off!) Distinguished actor Burgess Meredith is delightful as the foul-feathered fiend, the Penguin, while well-known actor and impressionist Frank Gorshin goes nuts as the Riddler. Julie Newmar, who was busy filming MACKENNA'S GOLD at the time, is replaced here by the equally statuesque Lee Meriwether as the felonious feline, Catwoman. The scenes with all four of them together in their secret waterfront lair or in Penguin's submarine are sparked with manic intensity and unrestrained nuttiness as these actors get to ham it up without any of the usual restraints.

There's a story floating around somewhere, but it isn't really important. The villains kidnap a guy named Commodore Schmidlapp (Reginald Denny) in order to obtain his new invention that dehydrates people into powder so they can make off with a group of United World ambassadors and somehow end up ruling the world. Who cares? It's all just an excuse to have fun.

Highlights include: Batman on a rope ladder below the Batcopter with a rubber shark hanging from his leg ("Robin! Hand me down the Shark-Repellent Batspray!"); Batman scrambing all over the waterfront trying to find a safe place to discard a huge bomb he's carrying, but surrounded by nuns, mothers with baby carriages, and baby ducks ("Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!"); Batman scolding a Pentagon offical over the phone for selling a war surplus pre-atomic submarine to a Mr. "P.N. Guinn", who didn't even leave his full address; and a long sequence involving Batman's alter ego, millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, on a date with a Russian reporter named Miss Kitka, who is really Catwoman. Bruce becomes deliriously smitten with the lovely Miss Kitka, and the screen practically drips with romantic cliches that are played so relentlessly straight by Adam West that the result is almost excruciating.

Of course, since the TV series always featured a nail-biting cliffhanger every week, the movie is filled with certain-death situations for Batman and Robin. We also get to see the famous Bat-climb, and we're finally shown how Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson, always leap onto the Batpoles in their street clothes but end up at the bottom in full costume. ("An instant costume-change lever!" I remember thinking as a kid. "So that's how they do it!")

On the downside, the movie gets a bit draggy in spots, and the ending isn't exactly what I'd call a big pay-off. I've always been disappointed by the opening titles as well--no supercool "Batman Theme", no cartoon Batman and Robin POW-ing their way through a horde of evildoers. There's even a lame-joke foreword that betrays the mock seriousness of the whole concept. But most of the time, BATMAN:THE MOVIE is a colorful rush of nostalgic fun that raises pure, straight-faced Bat-silliness to a level rarely experienced by anyone who isn't huffing nitrous oxide. TO THE BATPOLES!

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Astro Boy (2009)

2009-10-30T16:47:00.000-07:00

so with this remake/version, I'm didn't have too many preconceptions. it's pretty good, and at 94 minutes (at least 5 minutes of closing and BORING credits) it's just about the right length of time.

it is another retelling of Astro's origin, but done in about the same time as the original cartoon did it. it's set in the further future than "the year 2000", which is also fine. the rest of the story revolves around Astro finding his purpose in life. it gets a little cutesy with the introduction of the orphans, but right when you think it's gonna be sidetracked it brings it altogether for a pretty satisfying finish.

the actors all do a fine job as well. it's odd not to hear Billie Lou Watt as Astro though.

the CG characters look pretty good, but as none of Tezuka's original work was designed to be 3-D, they still look a little weird, especially Dr. Elefun. it's OK, but I kept thinking how much better a real cartoon would have looked. it was nice to see a few of Tezuka's characters there, including Hamegg. Mr. Moustache was in the credits, but I didn't remember seeing him in the movie at all.

so it's worth a look. it's apparently not making ANY money, but I think it will find a life on DVD, since it's pretty good. alas, they didn't use the original Astro Boy theme song, not even over those long extensive credits.

oh yeah, and Astro himself barely spent any time looking like his comic book counterpart- he was always in blue jeans and a shirt. weak.

THE MIKE CONWAY INTERVIEW, part two

2009-10-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

[Note: this interview was originally done in June 2006.]

In part one of our interview, jack-of-all-trades indie filmmaker MIKE CONWAY filled us in on the making of his sci-fi film, TERRARIUM (aka WAR OF THE PLANETS). This time, we get to find out what went on behind the scenes of his latest production about a genetically-engineered superwoman gone nuts, THE AWAKENING, which cost roughly one-fifth of the budget it took to film TERRARIUM while surpassing it in just about every way. How does this low-budget auteur do it? Let's find out!

porfle: How did you get involved in THE AWAKENING?

MIKE: Producer Kelly Johnston, bought a copy of my previous movie, TERRARIUM. He then emailed me and we hooked up. He told me about the story by Erik Manion and I liked it enough to collaborate.

porfle: What changes or additions did you make to the existing story?

MIKE: I told Kelly that I would do the project if I could make some alterations. He and Erik were very cool about this. I took out all but one of the narrations. It was better to just show. I added the scenes with Lara's mom and the doctor. With a lot of Kelly's ideas, we added a number of military scenes, including the Sergeant Benson character. I added in the SUV scene, where Lara throws it. The original ending was not a cliffhanger, so I added those final shots to spice it up a bit.

Erik's story nailed the characters and their attitudes, as well as the story's scope. A lot of dialogue got cut. It made my job easier, to have more than enough material. There was also a scene where Lara hovers off the ground, as well as some scenes where she shoots lasers out of her eyes. I got rid of that stuff, because I thought it went a bit too far, or wasn't as easily explained, like the radioactive super strength was. Some people might prefer that, but I wanted to keep it just outside the realm of feasibility.

porfle: What can you tell us about Tamra Ericson Frame, the statuesque blonde who plays superwoman Lara Andrade in the film?

MIKE: She is a part-time model and has been Kelly's business partner for several years. Kelly always had her in mind for the story. They did a 25-minute short, called GIRL OF STEELE. That was her only acting previous experience, so this was a tall order for her. I think she has the right kind of blond, sassy attitude, that plays well into the character's more confident moments.

porfle: What about the 6'4" (in heels) Heather Lei Guzzetta as the sinister mastermind behind the film's "Project Gladiator"? She makes quite an impression.

MIKE: Heather was actually a last minute replacement, when the previous actress got pregnant. She was in Greg Parker's indie movie, BLADE OF DEATH. Kelly and I met her at the premiere of that movie and never forgot about her. I'm not sure of the extent of Heather's acting background, but she's really good. She took that sinister part and just ran with it. Yes, being tall really added to her character's presence.

porfle: Did you enjoy playing a lead role ("David Andrade") this time? How challenging was it to do this in addition to directing the film?

MIKE: On this movie, I would have never suggested myself, but I'm glad that Kelly thought that I would fit. I really do love acting and who knows if I'll get the chance to play a leading character again, so I jumped at the opportunity. It was even better to play the husband of a pretty character, like Tamra's.

It did make some things challenging, especially since we didn't have a director of photography to shoot the scenes that I was in. It would have helped to have that critical eye, when I wasn't shooting. You probably noticed some of the whacky headroom in a few of those shots, eh?

On the flipside, our lead male actor was always available. When the role is that prominent, that is a good thing. I hope that I get that chance again.

porfle: How were the digital effects in THE AWAKENING accomplished? Some of them--replicating extras, Lara tossing an SUV--were pretty impressive considering the budget.

MIKE: The SUV toss was a model that was shot against a greenscreen. It was added into the real shot of Lara and the street. As for cloning extras, once I saw some of Kelly's practice footage, in After Effects, I understood what we could get away with. We bought 6 Black Ops uniforms and 6 Marine uniforms. Some of those shots show 12 actors! It was always the same 6 guys, put in different positions and shot a second or third time. When the footage was composited, you couldn't tell.

Our budget was so cheap that we only had one labcoat for a while. There is a scene with Donald and I, where I'm standing over a crate and he is talking to me. We are wearing the same labcoat! We shot the scene with me wearing it, then I handed it to him. Again, no one knows!

The other main effects were gunfire and blood, which Kelly became quite efficient at. To make a guy look like he was torn in half, Kelly would just erase his legs and use the mask of the real floor. It's really incredible.

porfle: The explosive climax of the film was done using greenscreen. Didn't you shoot that in your livingroom?

MIKE: Yes, I've got Tamra on my shoulder and the building blows up behind us. We set up a greenscreen behind us, then put a queen-sized mattress on the livingroom floor and fell onto that. In the final shot, it looks like we're outside, almost getting blown up.

porfle: One of the most memorable scenes is the one in which Lara backhands a Black Ops guy's head off--the body stumbles to the floor, while the still-living head continues to observe the rest of the scene. How was this done?

MIKE: We shot a plate shot of the empty corridor. Then, we had the actors stand in the corridor. Keith Ford had a mouthful of fake blood. When Tamra hit him, Keith started drooling the blood, staggering, then falling. Kelly took the two shots (empty corridor/actors) and simply masked out Keith's head. He used the drooling blood as a mask point, because that was easiest to follow. When you see the final shot, it looks like Keith has no head, but he still has a neck and chin!

As far as the head watching from the floor, we threw a dummy head, which rolls into place. We did the same thing as the corridor; we took a plate shot of the empty floor, then had Keith lay down into the shot. Kelly masked out his body, so all you see is Keith's head, with the blinking eyes.

porfle: In an earlier scene, Lara turns over a van in front of her house and then struts away--it's a beautiful shot. Was that a first take? Where was it done?

MIKE: For the overturned van shot, we moved from the street, where the rest of the scene was shot, into my backyard. Kelly tied a towstrap to the back of his truck and connected it to the roof rails of the van. Tamra put her hand against it and pushed, while Kelly's truck pulled it over. Yes, that was one take.

porfle: What about Lara's barfight scene? It looked to me as though someone had a really nice bar/poolroom in their basement that was dressed to look like an actual bar.

MIKE: Actually, that was a 2 level bar, called Jose Hogs. For some reason, the bottom level is closed, so we were able to shoot there, without having to close the place down. A couple of the extras at the bar doubled for Black Ops. The bartender, Shae Wilson, was Dena from TERRARIUM. Also, the pool player with the bandana, George Miklos, was one of the actors who played the monster in that movie.

porfle: What was the location used for the government research complex where your character, David Andrade, works?

MIKE: That was a combination of several different places, including a storage facility, an office building, a warehouse, my garage and my friend Mike Rick's house. All of these locations are several miles apart from each other.

porfle: Which sets were actually constructed and shot in your garage?

MIKE: We shot the truck scene, with David, the captain and sergeant, in there. We used a greenscreen and had people shaking the truck. We also built the Laboratory, Radiation room, Autopsy room and a mock version of one of the storage facility hallways. That last one was because we needed to get a little bloody.

porfle: Where did you get all those cool-looking military weapons used in the shootouts between the Marines and the bad guys?

MIKE: Most of those weapons belong to a Las Vegas Airsoft club. A lot of these guys are former vets who like to get together for wargames, on the weekends. Some of the guns, with modifications, can cost up to $1,300 or more.

Airsoft is the name of the company that makes the weapons. The guns are near perfect replicas of the real thing. Most of the rifles are electric, while many pistols use gas. This allows the guns to display realistic blowback action. Kelly would add the muzzle flashes with After Effects. Kelly also had a real M4 rifle and I had some Collector's Armoury blank firing pistols.

porfle: As I've mentioned before, Timothy S. Daley ("Capt. Harris") makes a great action-hero Marine. He also played the main authority figure in TERRARIUM. Is he anything like these characters in real life?

MIKE: I love that Tim really got a chance to shine, with this movie. I would have to say that his real-life persona is pretty close to his characters. The haircut stays the same and that low, authoritative voice can stop people in their tracks. That was why I picked him.

porfle: You had two extra crewmembers on the set this time. Do the Conway kids, Shawn and Carmen, appear to be picking up your interest in filmmaking?

MIKE: Supposedly, Carmen wants to be a veterinarian and a filmmaker! Shawn definitely likes being on a set. As you saw in the documentary [GUNS, GIRLS, & CLONES, which is included on the DVD], he gets very upset when we don't take him to a shoot.

porfle: Was the budget for THE AWAKENING really $5,000?

MIKE: We finally added up the receipts and it was $5,900. A good portion of that was taking the actors to T-Bird's restaurants! One of the reasons that the producer, Kelly, wanted me for this movie, was because I already had the camera, lights, mics, greenscreen, motorhome (with generator), etc. Because of that, the Steele Productions' equipment cost was pretty much just DV tape.

Production money went to Lara's costume ($300), 6 Black Ops and 6 Marine Uniforms ($1,100). $600 was "incentive" to a warehouse manager and staff. There was also 3 paid cast days (after which, we ran out of money), props and food.

porfle: How long did it take to complete principal photography and post-production?

MIKE: Usually, we shot very short days, 5 - 6 hours, because a lot of the cast was unpaid and Tamra couldn't be away from her kids for more than a few hours. Shooting days totalled up to 43, spread out over an 8-month period. I usually can't get weekends off, so we would shoot on a Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on what everyone's schedule was.

There was about 6 months of post-production, including the documentary. It got spread out more than that, because Lionsgate wanted a lot of fixes on TERRARIUM. That meant shutting down THE AWAKENING for most of that summer.

porfle: As a personal accomplishment, how does THE AWAKENING compare with TERRARIUM and your earlier efforts?

MIKE: I think that THE AWAKENING is an awesome improvement and is my best movie yet. But, I still have some people tell me that they prefer TERRARIUM, because of the story and scope of that project. A lot of that has to do with the huge ship set and 16mm film.

THE AWAKENING has the edge with the action and much more realistic FX. The story is big, there are 40 actors and the locations are numerous. Unlike the dubbed TERRARIUM, THE AWAKENING is sync sound, so the acting comes off much, much stronger, particularly Tim Daley's.

porfle: I'm interested in seeing what you have in store for us in the future--where do you go from here? Oh, and any chance we'll ever get to see that "superchick" battle that's hinted at in the final shot?

MIKE: Though the movie ends with that superchick cliffhanger, there are no plans for a sequel. I kind of threw the cliffhanger in, because the original story ended with David and Lara in their home, getting away scot free. After all of the carnage that resulted from their doings, I couldn't settle for that. I didn't have "sequel" in mind, as much as "what comes around, goes around."

As for where I go from here, my main goal is to improve my filmmaking skills with each new feature. After being so stretched out on the massive TERRARIUM project, my last thought was to take on a 40-actor project, which was as ambitious as THE AWAKENING's script was! I feel that we pulled it off about as good as we could for the near zero budget. My goal is to go "smaller." I want more technical control and less people to deal with. What you'll see, next, is something a lot more polished and tight.

I have another pet sci-fi project that I want to get off of the ground. I also have a horror idea about a reptilian/human hybrid. There is also the possibility of doing a hitman type of movie. It just depends on finances. If I had my wish, I could leave my day job and make all 3 of these movies, in the next 12 -18 months. I like horror, sci-fi and suspense themes.

porfle: Mike, thanks for speaking with us today! It's been a real pleasure.

MIKE: Thank you!

http://www.terrariumthemovie.com
http://www.theawakeningmovie.com
http://www.midnightsunent.com

THE MIKE CONWAY INTERVIEW, part one

2009-10-29T21:16:00.000-07:00

[Note: This interview was originally done in June 2006.]

His backyard is an alien landscape where you might find a crashed spaceship. His garage is the nerve center for genetic experiments and sinister government conspiracies. He's independent filmmaker MIKE CONWAY, and the world is his soundstage.

Director, screenwriter, actor, editor, composer--Mike does it all, with the help of a dedicated stock company of friends and family caught up in his infectious enthusiasm for making movies. And he does it with less money than most directors spend on coffee and doughnuts.

I recently got Mike to stand still long enough to tell us a little about, among other things, the making of the sci-fi/horror thriller TERRARIUM (released by Lionsgate as WAR OF THE PLANETS) and his latest low-budget epic THE AWAKENING.

porfle: What kind of home movies did you make when you were growing up, and how did this experience help you later on?

MIKE: I made Super 8mm sound movies, which covered a lot of genres - horror, sci-fi, comedy, western, etc. The biggest help was learning how to achieve physical effects, by cutting away and editing certain shots together. You learn that you can achieve an awful lot, just through editing. For instance, a man changes into a werewolf, so you show his face with stubble, then cut to hair on his hand, then back to his face with even more fur on it. You can achieve gunshots, without needing squib effects. A simple shot of the shooter, then a closeup of the gun firing, then a shot of the victim grabbing his chest and falling. If you cut it right, you can imply anything. That carries over to future work.

porfle: How did you first get into independent filmmaking?

MIKE: Those Super 8mm shorts turn into 16mm shorts, which in turn flame the desire to do a whole feature.

porfle: I haven't seen your first feature, THE BLACK CRYSTAL. I know from the trailer that it stars TERRARIUM's Lily Santoro ("Kim"), though her character here appears rather more, well, "wanton." What can you tell us about it?

MIKE: I shot THE BLACK CRYSTAL as a Super 8mm feature. I transferred the film to broadcast video and then got picked up by Rae Don Entertainment. The movie got some U.S. and overseas release, back in 1991.

Lili Santoro plays a witch in that movie, named Daphne. She has lost respect for most men and won't hesitate killing someone for crossing the line. It's not a very good movie, but the idea and characters are pretty good. I play the main character, Will Harper, who finds the Black Crystal (a power channeler) and falls for the witch. Unfortunately, her ex-lover, Daniel, is a powerful warlock. He will stop at nothing to get the Black Crystal. The fact that Will is lovenesting with Daphne is motivating him to do harm.
After Rae Don's bankruptcy, I eventually got THE BLACK CRYSTAL back. Someday, I may find a place to transfer the 1" tape reels. Being that it was shot on Super 8mm, as well as being my first feature, I'm not in a particular hurry for people to see it, again. [laughs]

porfle: Where did the idea for TERRARIUM come from?

MIKE: TERRARIUM must be a good concept, because people keep asking me that. I took care of a friend's tarantula, for about 5 months. I would put crickets inside its terrarium and it would just let them crawl around. A week later, all of those crickets had been sucked dry. I imagined the crickets as people, so I made them into the astronauts of the movie. Nothing as twisted as real life, eh?

porfle: What was it like designing and building a spaceship in your backyard? Is this where most of your $27,000 budget went?

MIKE: $8,000 went into the 64' long, lifesize spaceship. Another 12K was for buying film, processing and transfer. Also in the budget was the 16mm camera and a Sony Vaio computer. That left 3K to buy uniforms, props, food and just make the movie.

I designed it, kind of like you would a space station. Though it was a long fuselage, it was made up of 3 modules - the Storage module, the Cryo module and the Control module. I was thinking of an octagonal shape, with the angles of the ceiling, wall and floors. When it came to actually building it, my stepdad, Arley Steinbrink, framed it like a house. He also figured out a way to curve the outside shell, instead of the octagonal shape. Arley was the main builder, assisted by my then roommate, Paul Folger and myself.

porfle: What was the reaction of your neighbors and city officials to this rather unusual structure?

MIKE: Considering you could see it from a mile away, it's no wonder that the city ordered us to tear it down. The neighbors were pretty cool. They would come over and I would give them a tour of the ship.

porfle: Like many independent filmmakers, you have a day job--you're a banquet waiter in a Las Vegas hotel. Did you cast TERRARIUM chiefly with coworkers?

MIKE: Yes, our bartender, Tim Daley, played the captain. My supervisor, Jim Hendrickson, played Robert, the architect. Our Audio Visual tech, Jason Hall, played Leonard, the engineer, etc., etc. The other half of the cast was actually made up of actors from STAR TREK: THE EXPERIENCE, at the Hilton. I didn't have money to pay them, so it was all volunteer. So far, we have broke even on the costs. I'm hoping for a few more territory sales, so that I could actually pay something.

porfle: Where did you film the press conference scene at the beginning of the movie? It obviously wasn't in your garage.

MIKE: That was on the ballroom stage of the hotel that we work at.

porfle: Speaking of your garage, which scenes in TERRARIUM were filmed there?

MIKE: The alien lair, where the human autopsy was.

porfle: What was it like filming the scenes in the spaceship's interior?

MIKE: Usually, it was pretty hot, since it was August, in Nevada. I did have an airconditioner in there, but that was a big structure to try and cool down. The experience was pretty authentic, because the switches would light up and all of the cryochambers had their own lights. We had sliding doors. It was awesome.

porfle: Your wife, Sheila, is perhaps the most talented actress in your stock company. Has she had any actual training in this area?

MIKE: None. She is a natural.

porfle: How did you manage to shoot around her very obvious pregnancy at the time?

MIKE: We put her in a baggy cryosuit and flightsuit. I framed her from the chest up, or had her partially blocked by the other actors. For the sniper scenes, I dug a hole in the ground, big enough for her pregnant belly, so she could lay flat.

porfle: You write and perform all the music in your movies, which I find very effective. Could you give us an idea of how this is done?

MIKE: I have about a dozen synthesizers and samplers. I manage to get some huge layered sounds out of them. I'll come up with the themes and then lay tracks down with a sequencer. I tweak a lot of sounds to get the tone I want, for each movie. For example, I recorded a creaky, metal gate and transposed the pitch down. It sounds utterly eerie.

porfle: Most of your cast seem to double as crewmembers in your movies. In fact, judging from the documentary A SPACESHIP IN THE BACKYARD, as soon as you say "Cut!" they break character and immediately join in the behind-the-camera-type duties. Do you find this to be a good way to work?

MIKE: Some of the actors are fantastic about lending a hand. It's not the most effective way to work, though. I could really use a couple of production assistants and a director of photography.

The problem comes from my work schedule. I don't get weekends off and the shooting is sporadic. It's hard to have a dedicated crewmember around, so that's why you see the actors jumping in.

porfle: Are the gore effects and other SPFX a group effort as well? Or do you have an specialist in this area who handles such things?

MIKE: Usually, I handle physical effects, like squibs, blood or Brandon's head exploding onto the terrarium glass. With THE AWAKENING, Kelly Johnston created a lot of gore with After Effects. For scenes, like Lara pulling the guy's heart out, Sheila gave us a raw chicken breast! Food is always effective.

porfle: In hindsight, would you have done anything differently in the making of this film if you could?

MIKE: Because the city ordered the ship to be torn down, we were under pressure to get it done, quickly. I really wish I could have spent more time lighting and moving the camera. In hindsight, I would have built a smaller, more concealed set. I would change the alien to something more reptilian. There's a lot that could be different and better.

porfle: TERRARIUM had its premiere in a movie theater in Las Vegas. Can you tell us what this was like? Did you get the audience reaction you were hoping for?

MIKE: The audience reaction was good. Of course, it was louder and bigger in a theater. There are a lot of atmospheric sounds that really come off well, in a surround environment like that. When you get a crowd of 200 people together, they tend to feed off of each other. When the monster tried to grab Leonard through the half open door, everyone jumped! They were even jumping at little scenes, like some of the false scares with the captain.

porfle: How did you manage to get a deal with Lion's Gate to release TERRARIUM, and what led to the changes that were made in it before its DVD release, including the title change to WAR OF THE PLANETS?

MIKE: The main changes were urged by a different distributor, Silver Nitrate. Their representative wanted something happening on the planet, right away. That's when I contacted FX man, David Rosler, about adding a spaceship crash. The poor guy only had a couple of weeks to pull off about 20 FX shots. Then, the rep from Silver Nitrate switched jobs to another company and they didn't end up buying it.

I listened to a lot of suggestions and ended up cutting some key character scenes, as you saw in the TERRARIUM version. The whole backstory with the captain's wife, daughter and drinking problem was cut, as was most of the main character introductions in the longer press conference. I think you'll agree that substituting FX for those story scenes really hurts the narrative of the movie. The people who are watching the WAR OF THE PLANETS version are looking at some rushed FX and not getting the story that TERRARIUM viewers better responded to.

Anyway, my producer's rep, Darlene Cypser, sold TERRARIUM to Mainline/Lightning Ent. The people at Mainline had a brainstorm to change the title to WAR OF THE PLANETS, since the Steven Spielberg movie, WAR OF THE WORLDS was coming out. Once the movie had that title, Lionsgate bought it from Mainline/Lightning.

porfle: Some extra special effects were added to the film free of charge by veterans of STAR TREK:VOYAGER and BABYLON 5. How did this come about?

MIKE: Chuck Carter and Bart Anderson were in the audience, at the theatrical premiere. They got a hold of another artist, PJ Foley and invited me to lunch. They did 7 shots, including the moons over the ship shot, when the astronauts finally come out.

porfle: All in all, did you accomplish what you set out to do in the making of TERRARIUM?

MIKE: Yes and no. I think it's good that people don't realize that it's a dubbed movie. The sound editing was a success, even if it made the actors seem more cardboard. As I stated, there were things that should have been better, but I did finish a 16mm sci-fi feature. Good or bad, I'm grateful for the amazing exposure that it got. Like anything at this stage of my career, it was a learning experience.

Thanks to Mike Conway for giving us the inside scoop on the making of TERRARIUM (aka WAR OF THE PLANETS). Stay tuned for part two, which will cover the making of Mike's action-packed follow-up, THE AWAKENING.

Buy "War of the Planets" at Amazon.com
"Terrarium" official website

THE AWAKENING -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

Some people have cookouts in their backyards. Mike Conway makes movies in his.

The wrecked spaceship in his previous film, WAR OF THE PLANETS (aka TERRARIUM) was literally constructed and shot in his backyard. And for his latest effort, THE AWAKENING (2005), he used his garage as a soundstage for several of the sets. This sort of below-low-budget filmmaking can be very interesting if done by someone with a good imagination and a passion for making movies--both of which Mike Conway apparently has--and if you can get past the fact that the production values are on about the same level as an episode of "Rocky Jones, Space Ranger."

THE AWAKENING is the story of David Andrade (Conway, who also directed, edited, scored, and co-wrote the film along with Kelly Johnston and Erik Manion), a research scientist working on a top-secret government project involving the use of radiation to genetically improve the human body. When his wife Lara is diagnosed with terminal cancer, David sneaks her past the military security where he works, hooks her up to an experimental machine, and zaps her with radiation. Presto!--her cancer's cured overnight. But as time goes by, unexpected side-effects begin to develop, and Lara eventually becomes Supergirl. Well, not exactly, since her aggression, hostility, and penchant for violence have increased along with her physical abilities. So, "Super Bitch" would be more like it. (But don't call her that, or you're really in for it.) She even designs her own costume, Peter Parker-style, complete with black cape and thigh-high dominatrix boots, and goes out looking for excuses to kill people.

This, unfortunately, includes her husband David, since the big killjoy actually liked her better the other way and has been trying to find a means of reverting her back to normal. So Lara invades the research facility looking for him and starts throwing Marines around. When she finds David in his lab, he springs a trap that knocks her unconscious and prepares to reverse the super-power process.

Around this point in the movie, I'd already seen just about all the shots that were used in the trailer, and figured the story must be about played out by now. Which would've made it "ehh, pretty good", but nothing to get excited about. So I checked the running time to see how many single-digit minutes were left, and was startled to find that the movie was only half over. Hmm...what could possibly happen next...?

To my increasingly pleasant surprise, THE AWAKENING was just getting started. It seems the powers-that-be behind "Project Gladiator" are using David's research to aid in their quest to create super soldiers, and the last thing they want is for anything bad to happen to the first successful test subject. So while the Marines are trying to take her out, project director Michelle Richards (the striking, 6'4"-in-heels Heather Guzzetta) and her delightfully unlikable toady, Major Craig Konrad (Keith Ford) have called in a bunch of black-ops guys to take out the Marines and retrieve the "cargo." Naturally, this doesn't sit well with the gung-ho, old school Marine Captain Harris (Timothy S. Daley) in charge of security, so he enlists the aid of his trusted cohort Sgt. Benson (Clay Finan) and David Andrade to put some serious hurt on the black-ops guys and throw a monkey wrench into Project Gladiator.

I don't want to give any more of the plot away because it's too much fun to find out for yourself what happens next. But there's lots of shooting, explosions, gory death scenes, and outrageous situations, and it's all a lot more fun than any movie this low-budget has a right to be. I was constantly amazed at the inventiveness Mike Conway and his crew displayed in pulling off scenes that were visually stunning despite the cheap-looking special effects (while also making good use of desert locations around Las Vegas).

When Lara approaches an SUV on the highway after the driver stops to render assistance, I expected her to turn it over or something. Instead, she throws it, and then watches its downward progress with a smirk until we hear an off-camera crash. Later, she backhands the top of a soldier's head off, and the body staggers to the floor as the still-living head watches it. Sheesh--sure it looks fake, but by this point I didn't even care anymore.

The cast does a nice job as well. Most of them aren't really that great as actors, but they manage to make their characters interesting anyway. Tamra Ericson Frame starts out sorta "blah" as Lara, then gets better and better as she has more fun playing the over-the-top aspects of her character. Timothy S. Daley (one of several veterans of WAR OF THE PLANETS who show up here) makes a great no-nonsense Marine. Heather Guzzetta is a towering presence--literally--and is convincingly sinister. And Mike Conway, who will probably never win a "Best Actor" Oscar, does pretty well as David Andrade--his somewhat bland character anchors the rest of the movie.

The DVD features a making-of documentary called GUNS, GIRLS, AND CLONES (now there's a great movie title right there) that lets us see how a film like this is made on such a shoestring budget. It includes bloopers, cast and crew comments, and lots of behind-the-scenes footage that is especially interesting when showing us how some of the special effects were accomplished (a shot of Lara ripping a guy in half was inspired by the fact that their only stunt dummy broke in two during a take!) There's some digital wizardry that I didn't expect, mainly used to convincingly replicate the limited number of extras--in fact, there's a scene where two cops confront Lara, and the same actor plays both of them. We also get to see Conway and his cast and crew having a really good time making this movie.

To tell you the truth, WAR OF THE PLANETS wasn't all that exciting, so I really didn't expect a lot from its follow-up--which is what made it such a hoot to watch when it turned out as good as it did. I've seen plenty of gazillion-dollar movies that were boring. THE AWAKENING may have been partially filmed in a garage, but it isn't boring!

(This review was originally written in April, 2006.)

Official website

YELLOWSTONE: BATTLE FOR LIFE -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

I always thought of Yellowstone National Park as just this nice, pretty park with a big geyser. And also the place where Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo live (sorta). But now I feel almost like Ash in ALIEN when he says, in awe of the strange planet: "It's almost primordial." And as presented in this DVD for the impeccably-made "BBC Earth" documentary series YELLOWSTONE: BATTLE FOR LIFE (2009), it's also fascinating, beautiful, and utterly awe-inspiring.

I never realized there were so many interesting things to know about Yellowstone, the world's first national park. "Perhaps the most treasured wilderness in the world" as the dulcet-voiced narrator Peter Firth tells us, "a hard, cold plateau 8,000 feet up, surrounded by the spires of the Rocky Mountains." This 50-mile-wide bowl rests over a vast underground volcanic chamber--which could erupt again at any time--which causes geysers such as Old Faithful to spew thousands of gallons of boiling water up to 150 feet in the air. This underground furnace also reacts in interesting and unpredictable ways with the often frigid temperatures on the surface.

The first episode in the series is entitled "Winter", and what a winter it is--at forty degrees below zero and beyond, with four feet of snow covering the ground and the lakes and streams frozen over, survival for most of the wildlife is a constant struggle. Packs of Druid wolves stalk the elk, great bald eagles battle each other over carcasses, and massive bison use their thick necks to sweep the snow aside as they search for grass to eat.

With "Summer" comes a brief respite from the cold which heralds the return of the pronghorn antelope, who evolved in order to outrun a now-extinct North American cheetah (becoming the fastest antelope on earth), and the emergence of the grizzly bears and their cubs from a long hibernation. A variety of birds from as far away as the Arctic and Mexico come to feed. Teeming with life, Yellowstone is, for a short time, a lush paradise of incredible beauty.

"Autumn", the shortest season, brings the end of the easy life and the beginning of a frantic dash to store food for the coming winter and the need to breed. Like scenes out of THE LOST WORLD, we witness life-or-death battles between male elk, bison, and Bighorn rams for dominance over the pack and the right to procreate. Elsewhere, a mother grizzly fends off a male to protect her cubs in a furious clash of claws and teeth.

And just as compelling in its own way is the industrious beaver, cutting down whole trees with its teeth and engineering dams and canals with admirable skill. You may even find yourself deeply involved in the symbiotic relationship between the Clark's Nutcracker and the whitebirch pine. These are but a few of the compelling creatures who are shown going about their daily routines in the continuing struggle to survive.

We see all of this through some of the most gorgeous photography imaginable, which captures the breathtaking grandeur of Yellowstone and follows the lives and activities of its inhabitants in intimate detail. In scene after scene, an almost otherworldly beauty is depicted in painterly images that no special effects could surpass. Combined with a rich and emotionally powerful musical score, the result is almost intoxicating.

The DVD from BBC Warner is 16 x 9 with Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 stereo and English subtitles for the deaf and hearing-impaired. Image and sound quality are very good. Bonus features consist of three featurettes entitled "The People of Yellowstone", which tell the stories of some dedicated geyser gazers, a man whose job is to shovel snow off the roofs of Yellowstone's buildings in winter to keep them from caving in, and a human fish whose love affair with the Yellowstone River reminded me of the character in "B.C." who always had his head underwater.

Naturally, this isn't the sort of DVD you'll want to pop in for a houseful of rowdy drunk guys after the Super Bowl. But whenever you're in the mood to drift away with something that's engrossing, educational, and utterly enchanting--after the guys have all gone home, of course--then YELLOWSTONE: BATTLE FOR LIFE will take you there in style.

Buy it at Amazon.com
DVD
Blu-Ray

Just Announced - THE BEST OF STAR TREK: TOS, TNG Vol. 2 on DVD November 17 from CBS and Paramount Home Entertainment

2009-10-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

EXPERIENCE MORE OF THE CULTURAL PHENOMENON

THE BEST OF STAR TREK®: THE ORIGINAL SERIES and THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION® VOLUME 2

More Sensational Episodes Arrive On Two DVD Collections November 17 From CBS Home Entertainment And Paramount Home Entertainment

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. (October, 26 2009) - Go deeper into the world of one of the greatest action-adventure sagas of all-time with THE BEST OF STAR TREK®: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2 and THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION®, VOL. 2 landing on DVD November 17 from CBS Home Entertainment and Paramount Home Entertainment.

The original and iconic series set in the 23rd century where Earth has survived World War III and humans have moved on to explore the stars, STAR TREK®: THE ORIGINAL SERIES explores many strange worlds and new civilizations with the fantastic adventures of Captain Kirk (William Shatner), Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) and the Starship Enterprise crewmembers. THE BEST OF STAR TREK®: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2 features four of the series' most memorable episodes including Where No Man Has Gone Before, the series' second pilot episode where audiences meet Captain Kirk (William Shatner), Scotty (James Doohan) and Sulu (George Takei); Journey to Babel, that introduces Spock's parents, Sarek and Amanda; Space Seed; and A Piece of the Action. Digitally remastered with brilliant picture quality and enhanced special effects, THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2 serves as a perfect way to further explore the epic and legendary world of Star Trek®.

The only syndicated series to ever receive an Emmy® nomination for Best Dramatic Series, STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION®is hailed as "one of the greatest television shows of all time" by TV Guide. The long-awaited successor to the original series is set in the 24th century and follows the all-new Enterprise crew under the command of Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) and Commander William T. Riker (Jonathan Frakes) as they travel to distant planets to seek out new life forms and boldly go where no man has gone before.

THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION®, VOL. 2 features episodes including Relics, starring original series cast member James Doohan reprising his role as Montgomery Scott; The Inner Light, one of the official Star Trek website's highest-rated episodes of all the Star Trek® series; Cause and Effect, guest starring Kelsey Grammer; and Tapestry, which delves into Picard's back story and lays all his secrets bare.

Affordably priced for new and loyal fans, both DVD setswill each be available for the suggested retail price of $14.99 U.S. and $15.99 CAN.

THE BEST OF STAR TREK®: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2 and THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION®, VOL. 2 are each one-disc DVDs presented in Full Screen with English 5.1, LAS Mono and Brazilian Portuguese Mono as well as English, Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese subtitles. Both DVDs are Not Rated in the U.S. In Canada, THE BEST OF STAR TREK®: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2 is rated G, while THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION®, VOL. 2 is rated PG. THE BEST OF STAR TREK®: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2 has a total running time of 3 Hrs. and 21 Min and THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION®, VOL. 2 has a total running time 3 Hrs. and 01 Min.

The DVD disc breakdowns are as follows:

THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2

Where No Man Has Gone Before - After the Enterprise attempts to cross an energy barrier at the edge of the galaxy, crewmembers develop "godlike" psychic powers.

Space Seed - The Enterprise discovers an ancient sleeper ship, led by war criminal Khan Noonien Singh, who attempts to commandeer the Enterprise.

A Piece of the Action - The Enterprise visits a planet with an Earth-like, violent, 1920s gangster culture.

Journey to Babel - While transporting dignitaries to an important peace conference, the Enterprise crew discovers an assassin.

THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, VOL. 2

Relics - The Enterprise investigates a vessel that crashed on the surface of a Dyson Sphere 75 years ago. An away team discovers Scotty who has been kept alive within a transporter diagnostic loop.

The Inner Light - A space probe creates a telepathic tether and causes Picard to experience a lifetime as a married man on a world long destroyed.

Cause and Effect - The Enterprise becomes stuck in a causality loop, each time ending in a crash with another Starfleet ship, and it's up to Data to savethem.

Tapestry - An accident gravely injures Picard and he awakens in a white limbo to find Q, who takes him back to a turning point in his past.

THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, VOL. 2
Street Date: November 17, 2009
Pricing: $14.99 US/ $15.99 CAN
Catalog #: 075634
Runtime: 3 Hrs., 21 Min.
U.S. Rating: Not Rated
Canadian Rating: G
Buy it at Amazon.com

THE BEST OF STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, VOL.2
Street Date: November 17, 2009
Pricing: $14.99 US/ $15.99 CAN
Catalog #: 075644
Runtime: 3 Hrs., 1 Min.
U.S. Rating: Not Rated
Canadian Rating: PG
Buy it at Amazon.com

"SMOKIN' ACES 2: ASSASSINS' BALL" From Universal Home Entertainment 1/19/2010

2009-10-27T15:57:00.000-07:00

THE DIRECTOR OF SMOKIN’ ACES AND NARC PRESENTS:

A New Target and More Murder, Mayhem & EXPLOSIVE ACTION than Ever…

Own The Unrated and rated versions of the movie Exclusively on Blu-Ray™ Hi-Def, DVD & digital download from Universal Studios Home Entertainment January 19th, 2010

Universal City, California, October 27, 2009 –Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball, the all-new movie about the adrenaline-pumping world of blood, bullets and badasses, is blasting its way onto Blu-ray™ Hi-Def, DVD and digital download January 19, 2010. Executive produced by Joe Carnahan (Narc), the writer-director behind the shockingly edgy hit Smokin’ Aces, and directed by P.J. Pesce (Lost Boys: The Tribe), Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball features a sexy cast, whip-smart script and hyper-kinetic visuals. And, with the return of infamous assassins Lazlo Soot and the Tremor Brothers from the original theatrical film, audiences will experience a furious frenzy of explosive action that will keep them guessing until the very last scene. Both the Blu-ray™ and DVD editions include the rated and unrated versions of the movie and an arsenal of explosive bonus features.

Universal Studios Home Entertainment presents a Working Title Production of Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball, starring Tom Berenger (Training Day), Clayne Crawford (Brooklyn to Manhattan), Martha Higareda (Street Kings), Ernie Hudson (“Heroes”), Michael Parks (Grindhouse), Autumn Reeser (“Entourage”) and Vinnie Jones (X-Men: The Last Stand, Lock, Stock and Two Smokin’ Barrels), as well as returning stars from the original theatrical release Tommy Flanagan (Sin City), Maury Sterling (Smokin’ Aces) and Christopher Michael Holley (Smokin’ Aces).

The latest in Universal’s DVD Originals™ series, Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball lives up to its predecessor with an all-star group of assassins, vicious sociopaths and other murderous freelancers who battle to bring down a single, high-priced target. The Universal DVD OriginalsTM line of high-quality, aggressively marketed features has included some of the most successful, live-action, non-family made-for-DVD titles of all time including Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior, Bring It On: All Or Nothing, American Pie Presents Band Camp, American Pie Presents The Naked Mile and Bring It On Again.

BONUS FEATURES EXCLUSIVE TO BLU-RAY HI-DEF:

· BD-LIVETM – Fans can access exclusive online and interactive features through their Internet-connected Blu-rayTM player, including:
· MY SCENES SHARING – Show your BD-LiveTM friends your favorite scenes from the film.

BONUS FEATURES AVAILABLE ON BLU-RAY HI-DEF AND DVD:

· Deleted Scenes
· Gag Reel
· Behind the Scenes with Joe Carnahan: Executive producer Joe Carnahan, producer Mike Elliott, writers Olatunde Osunsanmi and Olumide Odebunmi and director P.J. Pesce talk about the process of jumping back into the world of Smokin’ Aces.
· CONFESSIONS OF AN ASSASSIN: director P.J. Pesce and the stars of the movie take us through production, from the ground, amidst the mayhem, blood, guts, bullets and all.
· Ready, Aim, Fire: the weapons of smokin’ aces 2: Meet the armorer who equipped the gang with the over 20 guns in the film.
· CUE THE CLOWN: A behind the scenes look at what it took to produce one of the most explosive stunts in the movie.
· The Bunker Mentality: designing the set: Production designer Chris August, along with director P.J. Pesce and executive producer Joe Carnahan discuss the Art Deco look and feel of the sets as well as the little details that gave them the freedom them to shoot quickly and in every direction.
· Feature Commentary with executive producer Joe Carnahan and director P.J. Pesce

SYNOPSIS

Federal agents once again match wits with a cadre of creative killers in the high-octane feature-length film Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball. Walter Weed (Tom Berenger) is an unassuming desk jockey at the FBI when the Bureau uncovers a plot to assassinate him. A team of degenerate, psychotic assassins dispatched by mystery man Hal Leuco to win a huge bounty includes a resourceful beauty who has a unique method of killing her prey (Martha Higareda), a power-tool wielding psychopath (Vinnie Jones) and a deadly master of disguise (Tommy Flanagan). Also in the hunt is the fan-favorite Tremor family from the original film, featuring nymphomaniacal gun-nut (Autumn Reeser) and her lethal kinfolk (Maury Sterling, Michael Parks and C. Ernst Harth). Baker (Clayne Crawford), the agent in charge of the operation, puts himself and his team in the line of fire to defend Weed, but it’s not until the smoke clears on the film’s explosive climax that the surprising identity of the plot’s mastermind is revealed.

www.smokinacesdvd.com

CAST AND FILMMAKERS

Cast: Tom Berenger, Clayne Crawford, Tommy Flanagan, Maury Sterling, Martha Higareda, Christopher Michael Holley, Ernie Hudson, Michael Parks, Autumn Reeser, and Vinnie Jones
Directed By: P.J. Pesce
Screenplay By: Olatunde Osunsanmi & Olumide Odebunmi and Tom Abrams, P.J. Pesce
Story By: Olatunde Osunsanmi & Olumide Odebunmi & Joe Carnahan
Based on Characters Created by: Joe Carnahan
Produced By: Mike Elliott
Executive Producer: Joe Carnahan
Casting By: Nancy Nayor Battino CSA, Sean Cossey CSA, and Stuart Aikins CSA
Director of Photography: David Geddes
Production Designer: Chris August
Edited By: Angela M. Catanzaro
Costume Designer: Kerry Weinrauch
Music By: Tim Jones

TECHNICAL INFORMATION --Blu-rayTM Hi-Def
Street Date: January 19, 2010
Copyright: 2010 Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Selection Number: 63112382
Running Time: 1 Hour 26 Minutes
Aspect Ratio: Widescreen 1.78:1
Rating: R for bloody violence and language
Technical Info: English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1; Spanish and French DTS Surround 5.1; English SDH, Spanish and French Subtitles

TECHNICAL INFORMATION--Single Disc DVD
Street Date: January 19, 2010
Copyright: 2010 Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Selection Number: 63104821
Running time: 1 Hour 28 Minutes
Layers: Dual Layers
Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic Widescreen 1.78:1
Rating: R for bloody violence and language
Technical Info: English, Spanish and French Dolby Digital 5.1; English SDH, Spanish and French Subtitles

Kick or Treat! Have a JET LI Halloween!

2009-10-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

Like most people, you've thought of dressing up as martial-arts superstar Jet Li for Halloween. But do you know enough of his legendary moves to successfully pull off such an impersonation without looking like a doofus? Are you able to lay waste to everyone else at the costume party without breaking a sweat, using only a few well-placed chops and kicks? And look really cool doing it?

If not, have no fear. All you need in order to learn how to be the very best butt-kicking Jet Li impersonator that you can be (while enjoying some of the greatest action flicks of all time) is to check out the following thrill-packed DVDs from Dragon Dynasty. Watch and learn!

THE ENFORCER
Special Collector's Edition

Martial arts legend Jet Li explodes off the screen in this high-octane, bone-crushing hit. Li is at his lightning-quick best, starring as an undercover detective embedded with a ruthless gang. When another cop (Anita Mui, Rumble in the Bronx) accidentally blows his cover, the only way to protect his family is to take on the gang’s psychopathic leader head-to-head. Featuring an astonishing kung fu performance from the fiery Tse Mui (New Legend of Shaolin) as Li’s young son and groundbreaking fight scenes from acclaimed director/action choreographer Corey Yuen (The Transporter), The Enforcer is a "slam bang, balls-out action film" (DVDCult.com).

SPECIAL FEATURES
FEATURE COMMENTARY BY HONG KONG CINEMA EXPERT BEY LOGAN
CROWD PLEASER: An Exclusive Interview With Legendary Producer Wong Jing
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON: An Exclusive Interview With Star & Former Child Prodigy Tse Miu
BORN TO BE BAD: An Exclusive Interview With Super Kicking Nemesis Ken Lo
Buy it at Amazon.com

FIST OF LEGEND
Two Disc Ultimate Edition

Widely regarded as the greatest film of two legendary careers, Fist of Legend teams superstar Jet Li with martial arts choreographer Yuen Wo-ping (The Matrix) for "some of the best fight sequences you will ever see" (Dan Mitchell, IGN Movies). In this tribute to Bruce Lee's classic The Chinese Connection (aka Fists of Fury), Li radiates sheer power and coolness as a kung fu phenom living abroad who returns home to avenge the death of his master and save his martial arts school. Shifting effortlessly among diverse fighting styles, Li even fights blindfolded and wields his belt as a deadly weapon. Fist of Legend is essential viewing for any Jet Li fan and "the promised land for kung fu cinema" (HongKongCinema.com).

SPECIAL FEATURES
DISC 1
Feature Length Commentary by Hong Kong Cinema expert Bey Logan

DISC 2
The Man Behind The Legend - An Exclusive Interview With Director Gordon Chan
Brothers In Arms - An Exclusive Interview With Kung Fu Impresario Chin Siu-ho
The Way Of The Warrior
An Exclusive Interview With Japanese Action Legend Kurata Yasuaki
The School Of Hard Knocks - A Screen Fighting Seminar At The Celebrated Kurata Action School
A Hollywood Look At Fist Of Legend With Director Brett Ratner & Critic Elvis Mitchell
Deleted Scenes
Trailer Gallery
Buy it at Amazon.com

TAI CHI MASTER
Special Collectors Edition

Superstar Jet Li shows off his legendary speed, power, and agility at the peak of his martial arts prowess in this sweeping action epic. In an age of swordsmen and rebellion, two best friends and fellow martial arts students are expelled from the storied temple of Shaolin, only to meet again on the battlefield -- one a power-hungry general, the other a freedom-fighting rebel, both mortal enemies. Featuring Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’s Michelle Yeoh and directed by the celebrated Yuen Wo-ping (action choreographer of The Matrix films), Tai Chi Master is a quintessential martial arts classic.

SPECIAL FEATURES
Feature Length Commentary By Hong Kong Cinema Expert Bey Logan
Nemesis: An Exclusive Interview With Star Chin Siu Ho
The Birthplace of Tai Chi: On Location In Chen Village
Meditations On The Master: Director Brett Ratner And Critic Elvis Mitchell On Director Yuen Wo-ping
Twin Warriors: Critic Elvis Mitchell And Director Brett Ratner On Stars Jet Li And Michelle Yeoh
Original Home Video Trailer
Buy it at Amazon.com

THE LEGEND OF FONG SAI-YUK
Special Collector's Edition

Jet Li stars as a carefree young martial arts expert who gets involved with a government official’s daughter just as he discovers his family is part of a rebel resistance movement. While his fighting ability and charm made him a local champion, his epic battle for freedom would make him alegendary hero. Acclaimed choreographer Corey Yuen (The Transporter) directs Li at his jaw-dropping best, including an unbelievable sequence fought entirely atop the heads of stunned onlookers. Winner of Best Action Choreography at the Hong Kong Film Awards, The Legend ranks "waaaaay up there on the list of great Hong Kong Cinema experiences" (LoveHKFilm.com).

SPECIAL FEATURES
FEATURE COMMENTARY BY HONG KONG CINEMA EXPERT BEY LOGAN
HIT HARD & FLY HIGH: An Exclusive Interview With Director & Legendary Hollywood Fight Choreographer Corey Yuen
THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD:
An Exclusive Interview With Writer Jeff Lau
Languages: Cantonese Mono, English Dolby 5.1
Subtitles: English, Spanish, English SDH
Buy it at Amazon.com

For more up-to-date info, visit Dragon Dynasty's website or check out their pages at:
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ATTRACTION -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

attraction aka nerosubianco aka black on white (1969) is a story told in images and sounds about a woman wandering through her life unsatisfied, not knowing what she wants, she seems to be experiencing a sexual awakening, a growing awareness that's beginning to dawn on her as she observes the changing world around her, a new way of thinking and behaving that she's drawn to but afraid to embrace

stream of consciousness images in the park, on a city street, her mental musings merging with ambient voices and snippets of radio ads that are mostly sexual in nature, ads about sex aids and orgasms

freestyle editing of a cascade of images, a constant wave of visual impressions

a musical group seems to appear wherever she goes and sings about what she's seeing and feeling as she drifts through one montage of images and sounds after another

a handsome, mysterious young black man begins to fascinate her and she fantasizes about him, we see snippets of her fantasies, as he follows her, his civilized fascade, the wild man she imagines him to be chasing her naked through the forest

naked people boldly romp in public, and she imagines herself naked, shedding inhibitions

she ducks into a beauty salon and imagines the customers as cows, and her emotionless lover calling a doctor to treat her nonresponsiveness, and the doctor becomes the black man

she relaxes on a ferry and observes the lives of people in peephole-vision through their windows, surreal images that seem to be only in her mind, she smiles

she recalls watching television with her husband and he becomes so unresponsive as to grow as stiff and malleable as a doll

the boat ride becomes a heady experience as she drifts through fantasies of mechanical lovemaking with her lover becoming indistinguishable with repetitive fitness exercises while a woman's voice speaks of whether or not it's a sin to have orgasms while doing chin-ups, she pictures herself naked in a steamy spa that's like the misty recesses of her subconscious

she runs outside into the rain and the black man is there with an umbrella, she sees her lover at the door and shoots him with a toy gun, her lips and the black man's lips almost touch over the lover's body

she goes to a seaside amusement park and takes a ride through the love tunnel, but instead of fanciful things she sees real people with painted faces behaving impulsively, and the black man keeps appearing over and over, all very symbolic innit

her lover appears as a glowering priest and sternly announces that all prohibited scenes of nudity and lovemaking will now be replaced by acceptable scenes of violence and war, racial injustice and horror, and sure enough we're bombarded by a visual assault of shocking images that are like a splash of cold water in the face

she finds herself at an anti-war rally and the black man is there too, at the dawning of her political awareness--"now you see the people in another light, and it plays upon your brain" the singer sings

a wonderfully comic moment at a photo booth devolves into a clockwork orange-like nightmare, the woman begins to be overcome by her irrational fears as she is overwhelmed by the ugliness of the world around her

finally she returns to the park where it all started--will she take the next step? bite the apple? does she really even want to?

suddenly it occurs to me that i've pretty much described the entire movie scene by scene, suffice it to say that attraction is about a repressed and unfulfilled woman trying to find herself during a weird day filled with new experiences and sensations

attraction (originally released in the usa as a heavily-edited softcore sex flick retitled "the artful penetration of barbara") smashes 60s taboos all over the place and remains a fascinating and wildly experimental film experience from start to finish, with camerawork and editing and a sensibility not unlike that of the monkees' "head" except there's an actual story and it definitely isn't a comedy or as clumsily pretentious as this review

i like the actress (anita sanders) who plays the woman because she's beautiful and serenely expressive, while terry carter (the black man), needless to say has a million likability points already from being in stuff like "mccloud" with dennis weaver and the original "battlestar galactica"

each phase of the film is like a free-form late 60s acid-rock music video by freedom, a group consisting of the remnants of procol harum, and these guys are awesome

i want the soundtrack to this movie until i realize that the dvd itself is pretty much the soundtrack to this movie

i notice that this "cult epics" dvd release is an italy/uk co-production in 1.85:1 widescreen with dolby digital 2.0 sound, taken from film promoter radley metzger's rare 16mm print, and the dvd also features a lobby card gallery and trailers

i feel that attraction is, as they say "a trip", a cinematic carnival ride, an extended peek into a woman's psyche as she in turn observes us, a vivid waking dream by a wildly imaginative filmmaker (tinto brass), and i wouldn't be surprised if roger waters has seen it on acid at some point in his life and it blew his mind.

buy it at amazon.com
buy it at hk flix

GENESIS II -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

Talk about a trip down memory lane...I don't think I've seen GENESIS II since it first aired way back in 1973. In those days we Trekkers went coo-coo whenever anything Gene Roddenberry-related was shown. After all, the original "Star Trek" was it--there were no movies, no spin-offs, no new episodes, nothing like the Trek glut that would come later. So the occasional failed pilot film from the Great Bird of the Galaxy would be aired, and we in our fervent Trek-fueled deliriums would wail: "Why? Why won't those idiots at the networks pick these up and make TV shows out of them? Why won't they ever learn?" Now, however, after a decades-long cooling off period and with considerably more hindsight, I can watch a Roddenberry pilot film like this and think, "Oh...so that's why."

Not to say, however, that watching GENESIS II isn't lots of fun in a nostalgic sort of way, because it is. For those of you who have never seen it--and who probably think it's the sequel to some movie called GENESIS--it's about a scientist (one of those handsome, action-guy scientists with a cool moustache, that is--not the boring, real kind) named Dylan Hunt (Alex Cord) who offers himself as the guinea pig in his own experiment in suspended animation which, if successful, will someday allow humans to travel great distances in space. But something goes wrong, and Hunt's pressurized chamber deep within Carlsbad Caverns gets buried during an earthquake. Dylan Hunt's experiment is a success, all right--he sleeps for 154 years, until he's discovered by people from the future.

They're a boring bunch, these members of the Pax group--a collection of pacifist, unisex intellectuals dedicated to restoring culture and civilization to a world ravaged by nuclear war. All, that is, except for the alluring and exciting Lyra-a (Mariette Hartley at her most alluring and exciting), who nurses Hunt back to health and then informs him that Pax is really an evil organization out to subjugate the weak and take over the world. She helps him escape Pax's Carlsbad Caverns headquarters and takes him via underground shuttle to her own city that's populated by genetically-superior mutants.

Yes, Lyra-a is half-mutant (Roddenberry always liked having a character who was half-something), meaning that she has two hearts and thus two navels. My main memory of GENESIS II from my younger days is Mariette Hartley casually stripping down to her undies to reveal her double navelage to Hunt (which was Roddenberry's revenge for not being allowed to show navels on "Star Trek") and announcing, "I'm a mutant." Hey, I was going through puberty--that sort of thing tended to stick in my mind.

Lyra-a's city bears a striking resemblance to the University of California campus (because the movie was filmed there) and is filled with snooty chicks and perfectly-coiffed guys who look like dungeon masters in a gay S&M club. ("Star Trek" alumnus Bill Theiss must've been watching ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW when he designed their campy costumes.) These butch dudes are none too subtle--their preferred method of keeping slaves in line is a rod (known as a "stim" because it stimulates pleasure and pain nerve centers) that springs erect (hello!) when activated (yeah, baby!)

Anyway, Dylan discovers that Lyra-a's people, the Tyranians (tyrants--get it?) are really the bad guys after all, and, along with some wimpy-looking Pax commandos, passes out a bunch of stolen stims to the slaves (who, for some reason, all have mall-hair) and leads a revolt. In a thrilling action sequence, the revolting slaves run around tackling mutants and poking them with their stims. Fist-pump!

Poor Liam Dunn pops up as one of the sniveling slaves in one scene, looking as though Mr. Hilltop from YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN has taken a really wrong turn somewhere. As for these Pax characters whose adventures we were supposed to want to follow every week, they're rather unlikable and I didn't have the slightest desire to hang out with them. (I'd never say that about the crew of the Enterprise. Except for Chekov.) They don't even believe in having recreational sex, for Pete's sake. Oh, I'm sure that, given half a season or so, Dylan would've eventually warmed up the dormant libido of cute little Harper-Smythe (Lynne Marta) with his manly 20th-century charms.

Percy Rodriguez is okay as their leader, and naturally Majel Barrett gets shoehorned in as a council member. You'll also recognize familiar character actor Titos Vandis as another good guy. The only really cool Pax dude is the great Ted Cassidy as "Isiah", and he looks embarrassed in the goofy wig and toga he's forced to run around in. As for Alex Cord, I'd forgotten what a dull actor he was. Thank goodness Mariette Hartley is still as hot as I remembered--I felt a little envious of her chamber slaves.

The Carlsbad Caverns headquarters of Pax looks pretty neat but has kind of an Irwin Allen vibe, although that underground shuttle is just plain awesome. There are some nice exteriors, too. But most of the interior sets are drab, and so is the photography by Trek vet Jerry Finnerman. John Llewellyn Moxey's direction is similarly uninspired.

Kind of like Homer Simpson banging on his TV and shouting "BE MORE FUNNY!!!", I can remember watching this back in the 70s and trying to will it to be better. The concept seemed pretty good, or at least it seemed like a way to make vaguely "Star Trek"-type stories on Earth instead of in space. The different countries which had evolved into strange, unknown civilizations since the big war would be kind of like alien planets...the sleek sub-shuttle that spanned all the continents of the world was sort of like the Enterprise...the Pax organization was a little like Starfleet...the sleep-dart guns were similar to phasers.

That is, if you really, really used your imagination. But wouldn't it be nice if Gene Roddenberry had used his imagination, so we wouldn't have to? That is, instead of coming up with something that was not only a bland rehash of "Star Trek", but pretty much a rip-off of "Buck Rogers", too? BANG BANG BANG--BE MORE GOOD!!!

Deep down, I knew that no matter how much I banged on my TV set, GENESIS II wouldn't be anywhere near as good as "Star Trek" even if it ever did became a series, which I also knew wasn't gonna happen any more than either SPECTRE or QUESTOR were going to become a series. "Is this it?" I thought at the time. "Was 'Star Trek' the whole load? No more goodies from the Bird?"

To make things worse, the film ends with the Pax leaders forcing action-guy Dylan Hunt to promise that, from now on, he'll never hurt or kill anyone. Somewhere along the line, Gene Roddenberry got the idea that totally non-militaristic and non-violent heroes would be irresistible to the viewing public. He even tried to retroactively convince us, and Paramount, that "Star Trek" had always been this way and that the upcoming movies should reflect this wonderfully pacifistic attitude. I don't know about you, but a bunch of non-violent wimps running around not hurting the bad guys isn't exactly my idea of action-packed thrills. (Harve Bennett and Nick Meyer didn't think so, either.) Besides, Captain Kirk used to beat the hell out of any green, scaly sucka who looked at him wrong!

The DVD is part of the Warner Archives Collection, in which films that would normally languish in their vaults are dusted off and burned to disc sans restoration. This means that the (1.33:1) picture and (mono) sound quality are about on the level of a late-night viewing on your local TV station. But since your local TV station shows infomercials now instead of movies like this, these no-frills DVDs are a nice way to be able to see obscure titles.

As a one-shot TV-movie that we were never in any danger of revisiting every week anyway, this attempt by Gene Roddenberry to get another sci-fi series on the air is still a novel experience for the old-school Trek fan or the young Trek-curious, and it's better than the follow-up, PLANET EARTH, with John Saxon. Less forgiving viewers will be tempted to rip into it MST3K-style. And even if you have fond, hazy memories of GENESIS II, don't be surprised if it disappoints.

Buy it at Amazon.com

STAN HELSING -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

I don't want to say that I had low expectations for this movie, because actually, it would be more accurate to say that I had no expectations. Therefore, the fact that STAN HELSING (2009) turned out to be such a breezy, inventive, and consistently funny romp through some of our favorite horror film cliches of recent years (mainly the 80s and 90s) came as a delightful surprise.

Stan Helsing (Steve Howey in a likable performance) is a slacker and a stoner, but he isn't terminally out to lunch like such characters usually are. Basically he's a horny, fun-loving clod who happens to be shallow, conceited, and totally self-absorbed, but in a likable way. As the story begins, Stan has just gotten off work at Schlockbuster and is headed for what promises to be a fun Halloween party. Traveling there with his ex-girlfriend Nadine, his best friend Teddy, and Teddy's new girlfriend Mia, Stan announces that he has to drop off some DVDs for his boss' mom on the way. This takes them deep into the scary part of town (with street names such as Elm Street and Mockingbird Lane) where they promptly get lost and end up in a horrific gated community called Stormy Night Estates.

Stopping into a redneck bar, they're told by an incredibly ugly waitress (Leslie Nielsen as "Kay") that the community is cursed by monsters and that their only hope is the return of legendary monster hunter Van Helsing. Well, our non-hero Stan Helsing, it turns out, is actually Stan VAN Helsing, a descendant of the original monster hunter, which makes him and his friends the target of every monster, supernatural creature, and homicidal maniac within killing distance.

The gags fly fast and furious from start to finish, and most of them stick (or splat, as the case may be). Stan is ordered by his dweeby boss at Schlockbuster to go kill a cockroach that's been reported in the ladies' restroom. It turns out to be six feet tall and spewing some kind of disgusting goop from its nether regions. Stan also barges in on a couple of gorgeous lesbians, dressed as a cop and a French maid, who are making out in one of the stalls. Watching them flounce away after he bungles his chance to join in, he laments, "I cockblocked myself!" And that's just the first few minutes.

The road trip in search of Stan's boss' mom's house to deliver the DVDs (which turn out to be gay porn such as GRAZING RYAN'S PRIVATES and SOREST RUMP) is a mini-movie in itself as the group encounter a Charles Manson-like hitchhiker with a swastika carved on the end of his nose and a rage-stoked redneck who vows to kill them all after they run over his dog a la I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. An innocent stopover at a gas station brings them into conflict with a scary shotgun-wielding hippie chick and a Native American pervert who videotapes them in the bathroom so he can sell DVDs of it to his customers. And we haven't even gotten to the actual monsters yet.

As for the monsters, you get Fweddy (last name Kwueger, I assume), the nightmare guy with the Swiss army knife glove; Michael Criers (Get it? It rhymes with "Myers" *cough, cough*); Pleatherface, a leafblower-wielding maniac whose face looks like a purse Mia bought in Tijuana; Needlehead ('nuff said); Mason, who now wears the entire hockey uniform; and a "Chucky" clone.

During their terror-filled night in Stormy Night Estates, our heroes also encounter the Brides of Dracula. This part's fun, because the fanged femmes are gorgeous and because Stan and Teddy have a shared fantasy sequence with the BOD (Brides of Dracula) as topless dancers. Yeah, baby! Later, they duck into a church and meet a cross-dressing altar boy (a funny Jeremy Crittenden) who gives them a super soaker filled with holy water, which, of course, Teddy drinks. The climactic karaoke contest between the good guys and the monsters is fun, especially when the monsters hit the stage as the Village People. The rest of the film is loaded with references to other horror flicks and it's fun picking them out.

With his ad-libs, funny expressions, expert delivery, and dumb-looking Superman costume, Kenan Thompson is a lot of fun to watch. The same and more can be said for Desi Lydic as the deliriously dizzy Mia. Not only is she cute as a button, but Desi's comedy sense is sharp as a bloody talon. Her exquisitely-delivered deadpan stupid-isms are often hilarious---she's probably the funniest thing about the whole movie. As Nadine, Diora Baird is not only an appealing actress but she's also gorgeous and has a great rack, which is prominently featured in every single shot that she's in and which you can also Google. Woo-hoo!

SCARY MOVIE executive producer Bo Zenga does a nice job directing and the film has a great look. Zenga provides a commentary track for the Anchor Bay DVD along with Desi Lydic and Kenan Thompson. Bonuses also include the featurette "Killer Parody: The Making of Stan Helsing", extended, alternate, and deleted scenes, outtakes, still gallery, storyboard gallery (yawn), and theatrical trailer. The film is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 5.1 and English subtitles.

With its AIRPLANE!-type comedy style and kitchen-sink story, STAN HELSING is just as dumb as it sounds--but it's a good dumb. I don't know how it compares to the SCARY MOVIE series, since I stopped watching those after the first one. One thing's for sure...it beats the hell out of VAN HELSING.

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TCM SPOTLIGHT: ESTHER WILLIAMS, VOLUME 2 -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

(Thrill of a Romance/ Fiesta/ This Time For Keeps/ Pagan Love Song/ Million Dollar Mermaid/ Easy to Love)

If the following sounds more like a love letter to Esther Williams than a DVD review, you have to understand--I've been a huge fan for several years now, and watching the six-disc set TCM SPOTLIGHT: ESTHER WILLIAMS, VOLUME 2 has been a heady experience. To paraphrase Bela Lugosi's "Ygor" from SON OF FRANKENSTEIN: "She...does things for me."

Hardly just the swimming star she's commonly remembered as nowadays, Esther Williams was one of the most beautiful and talented actresses ever to grace the screen. Whether dolled up in the coolest 40s and 50s fashions or dripping wet in a clingy bathing suit, her stunning good looks, razor-perfect figure, regal bearing, and endlessly appealing persona are what continue to make her films so watchable after all these years. She had a smoldering sexuality and bedroom eyes that could easily have made her a sultry femme fatale in film noirs if she'd ever decided to go that way. Yet she almost always played sweet, endearing characters who were approachable and attainable--well, theoretically anyway--by plain, everyday lugs like us.

Her aquatic skills, of course, are legendary. While stars like Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, and Ginger Rogers may have been tops on the dance floor, Esther Williams had the water all to herself. This gave MGM the chance to keep coming up with one lavish, high-concept splash spectacle after another. Yet even in her more down-to-earth roles, in which she barely dipped a toe into the water, Esther proved that she had the acting skills and personality, along with her drop-dead gorgeous looks, to quite capably hold her own. And she even had a nice singing voice, too.

In THRILL OF A ROMANCE (1945), Esther is a swimming instructor named Cynthia Glenn who lives with her lovably eccentric uncle and aunt, played by Henry Travers (Clarence the angel in IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE) and Spring Byington. Cynthia (who for some strange reason doesn't already have dozens of guys vying for her attention) is swept off her feet by a young business tycoon named Bob Delbar (Carleton G. Young) who takes her to a fancy hotel in the mountains for their honeymoon and then leaves her alone--on their wedding night--when a big deal lures him away to Washington. Yep, we knew right away that stuffed-shirt Bob wasn't the right guy for our Cynthia.

Right on cue, the suddenly lonely new bride meets warm, friendly war hero Major Thomas Milvaine (Van Johnson at his most personable), who falls for her like a sad-eyed puppy dog. We know that they'll be together by the end of the movie, and we can't wait to see Cynthia unload that incredible stiff Bob Delbar. But before that, we must endure the tortures of self-denial as Cynthia and Tommy splash around in the pool and dine to the music of Tommy Dorsey while rigidly maintaining the proper hands-off attitude.

Also practicing self-denial is Metropolitan Opera star Lauritz Melchior as rotund opera singer Nils Knudsen, who's trying to lose weight. Eventually becoming the benevolent cupid who helps bring Cynthina and Tommy together, the chubby-cheeked Melchior gets plenty of opportunities to sing in his bombastic style--we even get to see a closeup of his quivering tonsils during the titles--while his roly-poly character comically suffers through a vegetables-only diet as others around him indulge in rich food (just as Cynthia and Tommy yearn to indulge in each other).

The opening titles let the viewer know right off the bat that THRILL OF A ROMANCE is going to be filled with music, from opera to big band and in between. Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra are on hand for several hot big-band tunes, some including his nimble-fingered young daughter Susan on piano. During one rousing number, legendary cool cat Buddy Rich is featured in a kick-ass drum solo. With Dorsey's band, the hotel's house musicians, and opera singer Melchior running around, we have here the rare musical in which the songs and tunes don't just come from out of nowhere.

Esther, of course, gets a lot of mileage out of the hotel's wonderfully kitschy swimming pool set as Cynthia teaches Tommy how to swim and does several nice slow-motion dives off the high board. She also looks great in a series of outfits that compliment her figure, which is a never-ending source of visual delight. The breathtaking mountain and forest settings of San Bernadino's Arrowhead Springs Hotel and Yosemite National Park provide even more sumptuous Technicolor scenery.

In the days before television, people didn't go to movies like this for the thrills or complicated plots. They wanted to see eye-filling sights, lavish production numbers, and good-looking movie stars. They also wanted to see their favorite radio stars perform the music they could usually only hear over the airwaves. The simple story of THRILL OF A ROMANCE could've been told in twenty minutes, but getting there at a leisurely pace while savoring the sights and sounds along the way is what it's all about. All you have to do is settle in and enjoy the ride.

Extras:
John Nesbitt's Passing Parade--"The Great American Mug"
Cartoon--Tex Avery's "Wild and Woolfy" (Droopy)
Musical outtakes
Trailer

FIESTA (1947) was shot on location in Mexico and features Esther and handsome young newcomer Ricardo Montalban as twins Maria and Mario. Their father, Señor Morales, once a celebrated bullfighter forced into retirement by a crippling injury, has high hopes for Mario to take his place in the ring. But Mario has other ideas--he dreams of being a concert pianist and composer, while it is Maria who aspires to carry on the family bullfighting tradition. Well, it's a cinch things are going to get complicated before the eventual happy ending.

Esther and Ricardo make a smart-looking couple in their matching outfits and are a likable brother and sister act. I was surprised to find Montalban to be an excellent dancer, as he demonstrates several times during the film. Cyd Charisse, not quite the stunner she would become and hardly resembling the seductive vamp from SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (although there's a hint of it in the red-hot flamenco number she performs with Ricardo), plays Mario's devoted fiancee Conchita.

Esther barely gets close to the water in this one, giving her a chance to prove that she can carry a role without breast-stroking her way through it. Montalban's intense performance as the musician who's expected to be a bullfighter is a major component of the film, but the main draw is seeing Esther's Maria fulfilling her brother's destiny in the ring by posing as him. She looks way tuff in her form-fitting matador outfits and moves beautifully. Little matter that the matador stand-in doing the actual bullfighting bears scant resemblance to her.

Akim Tamiroff is very likable as the Morales family's old friend, Chato Vasquez, while John Carroll as "Pepe Ortega" convincingly plays a man who wants to forget all this bullfighting nonsense and get married to Maria ASAP. Fortunio Bonanova (CITIZEN KANE, KISS ME DEADLY) is good as the prideful and unyielding father, Señor Morales. Mary Astor (THE MALTESE FALCON) adds extra class as his long-suffering wife, who hates bullfighting and wants Mario to follow his own dreams.

FIESTA is filled with lots of festive Mexican music, including a pre-rock'n'roll version of "La Bamba", and Montalban deftly mimes playing piano to Aaron Copland's thrilling "El Salon Mexico" in one of the film's most effective scenes. But best of all are the large-scale bullfighting sequences, which should give Esther's fans a whole new appreciation for the sport. She's one muy bonita matador.

Extras:
John Nesbitt's Passing Parade--"Goodbye, Miss Turlock"
Cartoon--Tex Avery's "Hound Hunters"
Trailer

After the muted Southwestern hues of FIESTA, 1947's THIS TIME FOR KEEPS (photographed by Karl Freund) is a colorful confection. If you can get past Esther's arresting picture on the disc menu, the film opens with her as "Aqua Capers" star Nora Cambaretti, simultaneously torturing and delighting some injured WWII soldiers by prancing around the pool looking gorgeous. She meets Dick (Johnnie Johnston), temporarily blinded by an eye injury, who falls in love with her just her voice. Too bad she's already sorta engaged to her boring producer, Gordon (Dick Simmons), although we know this relationship's totally doomed. (Sorry, Gordo.)

Dick, meanwhile, is in a bit of a JAZZ SINGER-type mess, since he wants to croon popular swing tunes while his dad, famous opera singer Richard Herald (Lauritz Melchior again), insists that his son follow in his footsteps. (Come to think of it, this is mighty similar to Ricardo Montalban's dilemma in FIESTA.) Dick's also expected to marry the dour, bland socialite Frances Allenbury (Mary Stuart), which we also know ain't a-gonna happen. Sometimes it's nice to watch a movie where you don't have to worry about stuff like that.

THIS TIME FOR KEEPS is loaded with music, with Melchior serving up the opera while Xavier Cugat and His Orchestra make with the swing (including the ever-popular "Chiquita Banana" song). Here also we finally get one of those elaborate water-follies numbers that Esther Williams is known for, choreographed by Stanley Donen. As the great Jimmy Durante (playing her performing partner Ferdi Farro) croons some cringe-inducing lyrics about taxes and "taking off ten percent for your agent", Esther struts around the pool doing an alluring striptease from evening gown to bathing suit before taking the plunge amidst dozens of synchronized water sprites. If you love a good wallow in pure, undiluted kitsch, this is it.

Esther's character seems a little aloof in this one until she takes Dick to meet her grandmother (Dame May Whitty) and cute little niece Deborah (Sharon McManus) on Michigan's Mackinac Island. There we get to know the real Nora in a homey setting amidst beautiful snow-covered scenery. Later the island is seen in its multi-colored spring glory as Nora and Dick hash out their conflicts caused when Frances' mother runs a premature engagement announcement in the paper. Needless to say, Ferdi, Dick's father, Grandma, and Deborah eventually cook up a plan to make things right between the two lovebirds again.

THIS TIME FOR KEEPS drags a little in its overlong trudge toward the inevitable ending, but there's still a lot of fun along the way.

Extras:
A Pete Smith Specialty--"Now You See It"
Cartoon--"Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Mouse" (Tom & Jerry)
Musical outtake--"Little Big Shot"
Trailer

Like an exotic postcard from Tahiti come to life, PAGAN LOVE SONG (1950) is a Technicolor fantasia with Esther looking gorgeous in brown body makeup and two-piece outfits as the half-Tahitian Mimi. Bass-voiced Howard Keel is "Hap" Endicott, a teacher from the USA who just inherited some land with a bamboo shack on it and wants to kick back and become a native. Even though Mimi has plans to move to the States just as Hap is settling in, we know that they'll get together somehow.

So far, this is the prettiest yet dumbest film in the collection. Keel plays Hap like a big, grinning oaf who belts out some of the worst songs ever written (subjects include his singing bamboo house and how much fun it is to sing in the sun on a bicycle) while blundering his way around the island like a newborn giraffe. He gets along great with the natives (one of whom is played by a very young Rita Moreno), since they're all portrayed as a bunch of addle-brained children themselves. It's enough to make one yearn for the cultural authenticity of an Elvis Presley comedy.

Keel works overtime trying to force some feeling into the nonsensical songs that are shoehorned into the slim plot but he has little to work with--he was much more at home in robust musicals such as ANNIE GET YOUR GUN and SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS. Plus, incredible as it may seem, he and Esther have about as much romantic chemistry as a couple of cocoanuts. After the movie has toodled along with nothing much going on until almost the end, an awkward and overly melodramatic plot twist is dropped right in the middle of it like an anvil in order to remind us that there's supposed to be a story.

The only things PAGAN LOVE SONG has going for it--besides one of those cool SPFX water fantasies that glorifies Esther Williams as a sort of aquatic goddess--are the lush scenery, a really cool Tahitian dance sequence, and the fact that the star looks so good at times that it's almost unreal. (Amazingly, a look at the musical outtakes reveals that the film's best songs aren't even in it!) If you can turn off your critical faculties for an hour and a half and watch PAGAN LOVE SONG purely on a superficial level, you might enjoy it. Otherwise, this movie is so stupefyingly slight that it makes DONOVAN'S REEF look like a James Michener epic.

Extras:
A Pete Smith Specialty--"Curious Contests"
Cartoon: Tex Avery's "Chump Champ" (Droopy)
Musical outtakes
Trailer

After the lightweight fluff of PAGAN LOVE SONG, 1952's MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID comes as a shock--a genuine period biopic of early 20th-century swimming star Annette Kellerman. We first see her as a little girl growing up in Sydney, Australia with her music teacher father, Frederick (Walter Pidgeon). Barely able to walk and forced to wear leg braces, Annette teaches herself to swim, after which her legs become so strong that she starts winning swimming competitions. Financial woes force the Kellermans to sail to London, where they meet enterprising carnival showman James Sullivan (Victor Mature) and his sidekick Doc Cronnol (Jesse "Maytag Repairman" White).

With James' help, Annette becomes famous after swimming the length of the Thames River and later, before another long distance attempt in America, getting arrested for indecent exposure for wearing a swimsuit that exposes her bare legs! As Annette's star rises, eventually leading to a smash engagement at New York's Hippodrome, her romantic relationship with James takes a nosedive and they seperate. He hits bottom just as Annette, at the peak of success, meets with a tragic accident that may end her swimming career.

As a biopic, MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID is a solid effort from director Mervin LeRoy which is consistently entertaining even when the drama starts to get a little sudsy. Esther is utterly convincing as Annette Kellerman, while Victor Mature does a fine job as the smalltime wheeler-dealer who can't keep up with her rush to fame. Walter Pidgeon is perfect as the stodgy but warm-hearted father, and Jesse White plays the comedy-relief role of Doc Cronnol with his usual hangdog charm.

While the melodramatic elements hold our interest, what really makes the film stand out are the production numbers. Legendary choreographer Busby Berkely has a field day staging some of the most lavish and spectacular sequences yet seen in an Esther Williams vehicle--exquisitely kitschy and colossal in scope, these colorful flights of fantasy are both jaw-dropping and delightfully strange. I can't even begin to describe them, except to say that they're like a Technicolor acid trip. In addition to these, the smaller-scale aquatic vignettes are equally enchanting due to Esther's ethereal grace and beauty underwater.

Although not the sort of light comedy-romance she's usually associated with, this remains a quintessential Esther Williams film and a top-notch production in every respect, with the usual MGM gloss. More than any other film in this collection, MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID gives Neptune's daughter a chance to fully display her talents both in and out of the water.

Extras:
A Pete Smith Specialty--"Reducing"
Cartoon: "The Wise Little Quacker" (Tom & Jerry)
LUX RADIO THEATER Broadcast with Esther Williams and Walter Pidgeon (audio only)
Trailer

With EASY TO LOVE (1953), the final film in the set, we're back to frothy comedy, ear-bending Tin Pan Alley songs, and a shallow plot to keep us occupied between Busby Berkeley fever dreams. Esther plays Julie, an overworked swimsuit model and aqua-performer for the tourists at Cypress Gardens in Florida. THRILL OF A ROMANCE's Van Johnson is back as her manipulative boss Ray. King Donovan (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS) has the thankless role of Ray's bumbling assistant, Ben, and REVENGE OF THE CREATURE's John Bromfield returns to the water as Hank, a hunky but not-too-bright coworker who's sweet on Julie.

During a trip to New York Julie falls in love with oily nightclub singer Barry Gordon (Tony Martin, THE BIG STORE) and is offered more than three times her regular salary to join a show there. (Blink and you'll miss Carroll Baker in a tiny role as one of Barry's romantic cast-offs.) But after a guilt trip from Ray it's back to Florida, where she's now torn between him, Barry, and Hank. Only after Barry shows up at Cypress Gardens to sweep Julie off her feet does Ray finally realize, perhaps too late, that he's in love with her.

As you might expect, the story is just about the least important element in this frivolous concoction. Esther gets to play a crabby character for a change, constantly complaining about how hard Ray works her. Which is okay because she's cute when she's angry--or any other time, as EASY TO LOVE gives her plenty of chances to demonstrate. As for the songs, the least said the better. When Tony Martin sits at a hotel piano and starts singing the interminable "That's What a Rainy Day is For" to a bunch of moony-eyed old ladies, you may think you've gone to hell. The rest of his tunes are equally forgettable (except for Cole Porter's "Easy to Love", a holdover from THIS TIME FOR KEEPS) and directed in a rather lethargic way as is most of the movie.

Esther does a little waterskiing and a pleasantly hokey water dance with the beefy John Bromfield, then later puts on clown makeup for a forgettable comedy number. During her audition for a producer in New York, it's just Esther in a plain tank of water with no frills, fancy costumes, or sets--just her beautiful underwater ballet moves--and it's one of the best moments in the picture. Notoriously flamboyant choreographer Busby Berkeley finally gets off his duff in the final minutes to give us the kind of exotic water carnival-type routine we expect from him. Eight speedboats pulling dozens of waterskiiers weave their way through columns of water blasting upward out of the lake until Esther grabs onto a trapeze hanging from a helicopter and dives into a sparkling tableau of streaming banners and cascading fountains. It's freakin' insane!

Before this hyperkinetic assault on the senses has even had a chance to die down, the plot is resolved chop-chop as Julie falls for the right guy while the other two slink off in defeat. Well, not quite--Tony Martin runs into his real-life wife, FIESTA's Cyd Charisse (not a bad consolation prize), while the other loser suddenly realizes that he's really in love with Julie's roommate, Nancy (Edna Skinner). It's a happy ending for everyone involved, including the viewers who are relieved that EASY TO LOVE is finally over. (It's still kinda fun, though.)

Extras:
James A. Fitzpatrick's Traveltalks--"Romantic Riviera"
Cartoon: "Cobs and Robbers" (Barney Bear)
Trailer

This DVD set from Warner Home Video and Turner Classic Movies features colorful, decorative packaging and menus, with actual poster art on each disc. All six films are in original standard format with Dolby Digital sound, and they look great. Each disc contains fun bonus features--MGM shorts, cartoons, theatrical trailers, and, in some cases, musical outtakes from the films.

Of all the actresses in Hollywood before or since, Esther Williams was one of a kind. Whether you're already a fan or would like to discover what makes her films so memorable, then TCM SPOTLIGHT: ESTHER WILLIAMS, VOL. 2 is a delightfully fun-filled collection. Sexier than a year's subscription to Penthouse, Esther is described pretty succinctly by Kenneth Tobey in this quote from THIS TIME FOR KEEPS: "Dick, there's a girl in the pool who's got everything. Beautiful eyes, shining hair, wonderful skin, a smile that tickles your ribs, and a figure...oh boy, for a tape measure."

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THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE -- movie review by porfle

2009-10-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

Some movies are so bad, they're good--we all know that. But then there are the ones that are bad in such interesting ways that they're endlessly fascinating. Which is why THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE (1962) is one of the most-watched movies in my DVD collection.

It begins with a surgeon losing his patient in the operating room. The assisting surgeon, his son Dr. Bill Cortner (Herb Evers), insists on trying some of his wild new methods on the corpse. Cortner, Sr. pantomines cutting into the patient's chest to perform a heart massage by poking the scalpel about six inches over it and making a cutting motion while we see Bill fiddling with a dummy head that has an exposed brain but apparently no skull. After the patient is revived, Pop grumpily admits his son's success, but warns him against persuing weird and untested methods, especially when his experiments include stealing amputated limbs from the hospital.

Bill poo-poos the old man's admonitions and whisks off with his amorous fiancee, nurse Jan Compton (Virginia Leith), to the country house where he performs his mysterious limb-grafting experiments. Having received a frantic phone call from his assistant, Kurt (Leslie Daniels), who says there's trouble a-brewing at the secluded house (something about a thing in a closet), leadfooted Bill gets in too much of a hurry and crashes the car, killing Jan.

But Bill isn't about to let a little thing like death stop him, so he grabs Jan's decapitated head out of the burning wreckage, wraps it in his jacket, and hoofs it cross-country toward the house like O.J. Simpson running for a touchdown in the Super Bowl. You almost expect him to spike Jan's head and do a victory dance when he gets there, but instead he places it in a pan in his basement laboratory, hooks it up to a bunch of low-budget scientific equipment, and brings it back to life.

Now Bill is all set to attempt his most daring transplant of all--to graft Jan's head onto another body. But to do that, he must prowl the local streets, nudie bars, and "body beautiful" contests in search of the perfect body--that is, one that turns him on--and lure its unfortunate owner into his dastardly clutches.

It's all so delightfully, unabashedly cheap and lurid that I just can't help loving every minute of it. The car crash is so economically done that we don't even see it--the camera lurches toward a guardrail and Herb Evers rolls down a hill. That's it! Then we see a car door in the foreground with a man's muscular, hairy arm sticking into the frame, and that's supposed to be Jan! Unbelievable.

Herb Evers was no great actor, but his "Bill Cortner" is a marvelous cad. This heartless bastard makes no bones about his intentions, skulking into a cheap dive called the "Moulin Rouge" to scope out the dancers and cruising the streets eyeballing babes as he searches for the body that he most wants to grope whilst making out with the new, improved Jan-thing. (All of this is accompanied by one of the sleaziest tunes ever written, aptly entitled "The Web.") The women he encounters are a bit on the homely side, but hilarious. They can't act, yet somehow they're so into their characters that their performances are strangely compelling.

Bonnie Sharie, who plays a blonde stripper at the Moulin Rouge, acts as though she were born for the part of a hardboiled doll on the make for a sugar daddy. Paula Maurice, as another stripper who barges into the dressing room while Bonnie's cozying up with Bill and starts firing off withering wisecracks at her, is a riot--she's actually very good, in fact. And when Bill decides three's a crowd and makes his exit, there's even a totally extraneous catfight for our amusement.

The best of these potential victims, though, is Adele Lamont as "Doris Powell", who hates men ("I hate ALL men for what ONE of them did to me ONCE!" she snarls) yet makes her living as a "photograph model" posing for drooling guys with cameras. (One of them is infamous Jerry Lewis impersonator Sammy Petrillo of BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA! What the hell's he doing in this?) Bill slithers into one of Doris' posing sessions and uses his charm to convince her that he's a nice, trustworthy guy who can restore her scarred face to its former beauty.

Their dialogue in this scene is priceless. Adele Lamont, who's actually quite a looker, spouts her lines as though she's trying to hammer nails with them. "See it ALL...MISTER?" she growls at Bill. "The SHOW'S OVER...next time bring a CAMERA and buy a TICKET! I'm not running a CHARITY!" When Bill tries to placate her, she retorts "Listen--GALAHAD! I trusted a man once...ALL THE WAY!" She's a terrible actress, but she's so intense that it doesn't matter. Ultimately, the smooth-talking Bill conquers the monumental task of gaining Doris' trust, which makes his leering, smirking betrayal of it later on even more disturbing.

Meanwhile, back at the country house, Bill's skittish assistant Kurt is on pins and needles. Not only does he have to contend with baby-sitting Jan's increasingly yakky head, but he's also freaking out about the dreaded thing in the closet. Yes, Bill's earlier experiments in limb-grafting have resulted in a horrifically-mutated monster that must be confined in a closet and fed through a tiny window in the door, and lately it's been getting restless. The thing in the closet is often referred to throughout the movie with such dread that it builds up a considerable amount of suspense--especially when Jan begins to form a telepathic connection with it and plans to use it to get revenge against Bill for what he's scheming to do.

Leslie Daniels plays Kurt with a wildly-theatrical style that might actually go over nicely if you were sitting in the back row of a theater, but up close he's like a character from a Jay Ward cartoon. Like so many of the other actors in this movie, he gives the part his all and performs as though the script were written by Shakespeare instead of guys named Rex Carlton and Joseph Green. He has some really entertaining dialogue scenes with Jan, and they're directed in a way that convinces us he's talking to a disembodied head.

His demise, after an unfortunate encounter with the thing in the closet, has to be seen to be believed. It's the quintessential death-scene cliche, as performed by every little kid who ever pretended to get stabbed with a sword while rehearsing for the school play, and it goes on for several minutes while Kurt staggers violently from one set to another and back, smearing blood all over the walls as he lurches about in his final throes. I've never seen anything like it.

Top acting honors, however, must go to Virginia Leith as Jan. If the critics thought Richard Dreyfuss' performance as a quadraplegic in WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY? was impressive because he only acted from the neck up, then surely Virginia must get equal credit for acting only from the chin up. She does a marvelous job with her expressions, eye movements, and voice to convey her initial despair at being a disembodied head that should be "in its grave" (her plaintive cry, "Let me die...let me die" is haunting).

Later, her concern over Bill's hunt for a potential victim, which she senses telepathically due to the weird life-giving fluid coursing through her brain, and finally her burning hatred and lust for revenge are very convincingly done. She has the upper hand in her talks with Kurt, gradually goading and prodding him toward his doom. And since the monster in the closet--who also wants revenge in a big way--is now under her mental control, things are really coming to a head. So to speak.

When Bill lures Doris to the house and prepares to carry out the operation, director Joseph Green stages a grand finale in which the dreaded monster finally breaks out of the closet. And even after all the build-up, we're not disappointed. The seven-and-a-half foot tall Eddie Carmel, known as "The Jewish Giant", makes quite an impression even under a bad makeup job as he goes on his final, fiery rampage.

The scene is surprisingly gory, too, for a pre-BLOOD FEAST film--with this and the earlier blood-splattered death scene of Kurt, I'm still amazed that I got to see it uncut on TV when I was a kid. It scared the hell out of me then, its squalid and lurid atmosphere merely adding to the overall effect, and to this day, THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE remains one of my favorite low-budget horror movies ever.

Buy it at Amazon.com

THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW: THE COMPLETE FIFTH SEASON -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-22T14:06:00.000-07:00

One thing I remember vividly about my younger days is how Saturday night used to be dominated by the CBS comedy block. This unbeatable combo of two-fisted ratings busters was comprised of classic sitcoms such as "All in the Family", "The Jeffersons", "The Bob Newhart Show", and, of course, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show."

Mary, who had enjoyed similar success as Rob Petrie's wife Laura on "The Dick Van Dyke Show", was now the top banana of her own popular series, which was still a top-rated show when she decided to quit while she was ahead at the end of year seven. The new 3-disc set from 20th-Century Fox, THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW: THE COMPLETE FIFTH SEASON catches Mary in full stride and at the top of her game.

Hardly a clone of "I Love Lucy", yet not as bug-eyed goofy as "Seinfeld", "Mary Tyler Moore" is a prime example of 70s situation comedy in transiton. The show is still influenced by the typical sitcoms of the past, yet it's always reaching for a new sophistication and an intelligent yet increasingly off-kilter sense of humor. Thankfully, the 1974-75 season has none of the "very special episodes" and/or awkward lapses into total seriousness that marred a lot of that era's sitcoms in their attempt to be more relevant or substantial.

While "All in the Family" may have shown us Edith Bunker getting raped or Gloria losing her baby (which was okay for a more seriocomic type of show), Mary's biggest problems are fending off an amorous Ted Baxter in "An Affair to Forget", dealing with Mr. Grant as an unwelcome new neighbor in "Neighbors", or going it alone for the first time as producer of the TV news show where she works in "Mary Richards: Producer." And just when a situation appears to be lapsing into the overly dramatic, it's always punctured by a well-placed zinger that restores things to their irreverent norm.

Not having seen the show in quite awhile, I was reminded while viewing this collection of just how warm and funny it is. Mary's years of playing Laura Petrie alongside Dick Van Dyke, Carl Reiner, Morey Amsterdam, and Rose Marie paid off by teaching her impeccable comedic skills and timing. Strong but never unrealistically independent, her Mary Richards character is a real person who stands up for herself but often needs to lean on her friends for support. At times she's vulnerable and totally at a loss as situations overwhelm her, which we can all identify with. In fact, the more frantic, panic-stricken, and desperate Mary Richards becomes, the funnier she is.

You can't go wrong with this supporting cast, either. Ed Asner is perfect as Mary's gruff but lovable boss, Lou Grant, the executive producer of station WJM's low-rated news program where she works as a producer. A pre-"Love Boat" Gavin MacLeod is news writer Murray Slaughter, Mary's wisecracking cohort whose comic barbs are usually aimed at Ted Baxter. As the show's conceited but utterly incompetent anchorman, Ted Knight is this show's rich vein of comedy gold. His Ted Baxter is a brilliant comedy creation whose every word, gesture, and facial expression pays off in funny.

As Ted's preternaturally sweet but airheaded girlfriend Georgette, Georgia Engel compliments his character the way Simka completes Latka on "Taxi." Betty White, going against her happy homemaker image (which was funny at the time but lost on anyone these days who doesn't remember it), is also great as station WJM's cooking show host, Sue Ann Nivens, whose spic 'n' span surface hides the soul of a street walker. And on the homefront, Mary's flighty, materialistic neighbor Phyllis is played to perfection by the great Cloris Leachman. (Valerie Harper as former neighbor "Rhoda" was, by this time, trying to make a go of it on her own show.)

Another thing that this set reminded me of was how gorgeous Mary Tyler Moore was before she became a famous plastic-surgery casualty. Truly one of the cutest women ever to appear on network TV, she really could turn the world on with her smile. By the fifth season she wasn't flaunting it quite as much, but there's still the occasional scene where she pops into the frame wrapped in a towel or something similarly revealing.

In "You Try to be a Nice Guy", ex-hooker Sherry (Barbara Colby), who shared a cell with Mary in "Will Mary Richards Go to Jail?" and now has aspirations as a dress designer, comes up with a doozy of a custom design for our favorite news producer. Mary looks so arrestingly hot in this well-ventilated dress that it totally shut down my ability to watch the rest of the episode for several minutes. When Ted Baxter gets a load of her in this get-up he goes predictably out of his gourd, and I can't blame him.

Probably the most memorable thing that happens to Mary in this season is her landing in jail for refusing to name a news source ("Will Mary Richards Go to Jail?"), but even here the subject is treated lightly. The unseen Chuckles the Clown makes it through another year alive, so we still have his celebrated funeral to look forward to in a later season. Ted Baxter takes us to comedy heaven in several showcase episodes ("You Sometimes Hurt the One You Hate", "A Boy's Best Friend", "The System", "Marriage Minneapolis Style", "Ted Baxter's Famous Broadcasters' School"), Lou Grant gets the spotlight a few times ("Neighbors", "You Can't Lose 'em All", "Lou and That Woman"), and Murray takes center stage in "A Son for Murray" and "I Love a Piano." Sue Ann's shallow character is explored in more depth in "A New Sue Ann", "Not a Christmas Story", and "What are Friends For?" Cloris Leachman gets a chance to show her stuff as Phyllis in "Menage-a-Phyllis" and the hilarious "Phyllis Whips Inflation."

Some of the more notable guest stars in this season are John Saxon, Sheree North, Richard Masur, Rosanne Cash, Doris Roberts, David Huddleston, Noble Willingham, "The Love Boat" alums Fred Grandy and Bernie Kopell, Ron Rifkin, universally-reviled child actor Lee H. Montgomery, and two familiar faces from THE BOYS IN THE BAND, Leonard Frey and Laurence Luckinbill.

This 3-disc set is 1.33:1 full-frame with Dolby Digital English mono and is closed-captioned. Subtitles are available in English and Spanish. No episode guide or other extras. The show looks pretty much as good here as it did when first aired.

Once you settle into the rhythm and feel of this show, it becomes a source of highly-addictive fun. I watched all 24 episodes of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW: THE COMPLETE FIFTH SEASON in no time flat, and it left me wanting more. (Moore...get it? Totally unintentional pun, honest.)

Buy it at Amazon.com

EAGLES OVER LONDON -- DVD review by porfle

2009-10-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

The Italian WWII epic EAGLES OVER LONDON, aka La battaglia d'Inghilterra (1969) is making its American debut on DVD thanks to a renewed interest in director Enzo G. Castellari (THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS) which is due mainly to his enthusiastic admirer Quentin Tarantino. I haven't seen Castellari's original version of the QT remake of BASTARDS, but EAGLES would seem to be a good example of the kind of "macaroni combat" filmmaking that might get uber-fanboy Tarantino's geeky juices flowing.

Strangely, EAGLES has the look and feel of a big-budgeted low-budget film, if that makes any sense. There's the usual bad dubbing and sound effects common to many Italian films of the era. Shaky hand-held camerawork (back when it wasn't supposed to look like that), extras staring into the camera, and way too many bad zooms (which Castellari himself winces at now) give the film an unpolished look at times.

Yet the scenes being shot are often epic in scale, and Castellari's direction is consistently stylish and inventive. The Allied evacuation of Dunkirk at the beginning of the movie is grand, with sweeping shots of thousands of soldiers and refugees (way before you could easily trick up crowds like this with CGI) lining the roads and swarming the beaches to be picked up by boats for the trip to England. When a trio of enemy fighter planes begins strafing them, it's like something out of THE LONGEST DAY. Back in England, the sequence showing these crowds of soldiers and displaced civilians arriving and congregating en masse are impressive.

Part of this crowd consists of German soldiers who have stolen uniforms and identification from British and French war casualties and are planning to sabotage England's air defense for the upcoming German invasion. The leader of these spies, Maj. Krueger, is played by Luigi Pistilli, whom most of you will recognize as Tuco's brother, Father Pablo Ramirez, in THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY. His second-in-command, Martin (Francisco Rabal) is less of a zealot and inadvertently forms a friendship with Captain Paul Stevens (Frederick Stafford) which will become a problem when the shooting starts.

Van Johnson, the typical big-name Hollywood star chosen by Castellari to head the cast, plays Air Marshal George Taylor, who is Captain Stevens' romantic rival for the affections of the lovely Meg (Ida Galli as "Evelyn Stewart"). The film's main comedy relief character, Sgt. Donald Mulligan (Renzo Palmer), is one of those short, scrappy types who is alternately amusing and irritating.

While several of the expository scenes are a bit dull, much of EAGLES OVER LONDON is action-packed. The opening scene of Stevens and company ambushing a convoy of Nazi tanks (followed by a massive bridge demolition) is just the first of many fierce gun battles that occur during the film. The explosive sabotage of a British early-warning radar station and the bullet-riddled takeover of their communications control center are similarly exciting sequences which Castellari stages very well. Even a hot-blooded lovemaking scene with Captain Stevens and Meg takes place during a nocturnal air raid of London, with the strobe-lit lovers locked in feverish embrace as bombs explode, buildings crumble, and citizens flee in terror all around them. Pretty cool!

What really distinguishes this film more than anything, however, are the exhilarating aerial combat sequences which take place during the climactic Battle of Britain. Swarms of planes fill the sky. Footage of actual bombers and fighter planes, including real-life stock footage imaginatively integrated via split-screen, is combined with excellent studio SPFX shots. The latter cleverly combine full-sized cockpit mock-ups with model planes flying around them in shots that are so cool that it doesn't even matter when they look fake. Bombing runs are depicted using similarly impressive models of the cityscape from high above, illuminated by explosions and floodlights. Before it's over, venerable Van Johnson even gets to leap into a fighter plane and kick some enemy butt himself. Castellari's sure handling of these scenes is nothing short of breathtaking.

The DVD from Severin Films is in 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 2.0 sound, both of which are good. Extras include "A Conversation with Enzo Castellari and Quentin Tarantino Part 2" and "Eagles Over Los Angeles", which takes place at a screening of the film that is introduced by the two directors. There's also a very brief deleted scene and some awesome trailers for both this film and THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS (which I can't wait to see).

While not as slickly-produced as similar WWII epics such as THE DIRTY DOZEN and THE GUNS OF NAVARONE, EAGLES OVER LONDON is still a remarkable achievement that's loaded with eye-filling spectacle and entertainment value. It took me a couple of viewings to fully appreciate it, but now I'm ready to watch it again.

Buy it at Amazon.com:
DVD
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HKFlix:
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"THE WOLFMAN" New Trailer and Pics -- from Universal Pictures 2/12/2010

2009-10-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

Check out the NEW trailer at:

http://www.apple.com/trailers

http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/thewolfman/

Website: http://www.thewolfmanmovie.com/

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheWolfman

Synopsis:

Inspired by the classic Universal film that launched a legacy of horror, The Wolfman brings the myth of a cursed man back to its iconic origins. Oscar® winner Benicio Del Toro stars as Lawrence Talbot, a haunted nobleman lured back to his family estate after his brother vanishes. Reunited with his estranged father (Oscar® winner Anthony Hopkins), Talbot sets out to find his brother...and discovers a horrifying destiny for himself.

Lawrence Talbot’s childhood ended the night his mother died. After he left the sleepy Victorian hamlet of Blackmoor, he spent decades recovering and trying to forget. But when his brother’s fiancée, Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt), tracks him down to help find her missing love, Talbot returns home to join the search. He learns that something with brute strength and insatiable bloodlust has been killing the villagers, and that a suspicious Scotland Yard inspector named Aberline (Hugo Weaving) has come to investigate.

As he pieces together the gory puzzle, he hears of an ancient curse that turns the afflicted into werewolves when the moon is full. Now, if he has any chance at ending the slaughter and protecting the woman he has grown to love, Talbot must destroy the vicious creature in the woods surrounding Blackmoor. But as he hunts for the nightmarish beast, a simple man with a tortured past will uncover a primal side to himself…one he never imagined existed.

Joe Johnston (Jurassic Park III) directs The Wolfman, and six-time Oscar®-winning special effects artist Rick Baker brings his design and makeup talents to transform Del Toro into the fearsome title character.

Release date: February 12, 2010
Genre: Action-Horror
Cast: Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, Hugo Weaving, Art Malik
Directed by: Joe Johnston
Screenplay by: Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self
Based on the Motion Picture Screenplay by: Curt Siodmak
Produced by: Scott Stuber, Benicio Del Toro, Rick Yorn, Sean Daniel
Executive Producers: Bill Carraro, Ryan Kavanaugh

IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE DVD review

2009-10-21T12:16:00.000-07:00

since this DVD came out in May of 2002 I won't be talking too much about the actual movie, aside to say it's easily one of the best that Universal made in the 50s. the print looks great and the sound is good. buy it here.

mostly I want to talk about the extras, starting with movie historian Tom Weaver's excellent commentary. I rarely listen to commentary tracks, since most of them are not that informative (maybe I've listened to the wrong ones, hello GIANT BEHEMOTH) but Tom does an exemplary job at talking about every part of the movie, from Ray Bradbury's two treatments for the scripts to the actors, directors, effects and locations used for filming. he also had a good sense of humor about some things but never treated any of the subject matter as a joke.

the other great extra is (I believe) a TCM produced documentary called "The Universe According to Universal" and it talks about many of the classic 50s sci-fi movies and aliens. not too long and not too short.

of course, the DVD itself has one glaring problem- that cover! while it's a cool looking alien, nothing like that appears in the movie at all. ever. did the moron who designed THE VALLEY OF GWANGI make this cover as well?

and for the record, I am glad they showed the xenomorphs in all their one eyed glory.

PLANET TERROR / DEATH PROOF -- movie reviews by porfle

2009-10-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

If you grew up going to big, dark, seedy movie theaters or rundown drive-ins that showed battered, tattered, spliced-and-diced prints of cheap exploitation flicks--and loving every minute of it-- then Robert Rodriguez' incredibly well-rendered homage to all that great stuff, PLANET TERROR (2007), just might be more fun than you can handle.

Originally part of the Rodriguez-Tarantino team-up GRINDHOUSE, which also featured QT's roadkill thriller DEATH PROOF, PLANET TERROR now stands alone on DVD in an extended, unrated version that is pure adrenaline-fueled goofy fun from beginning to end.

The movie plunks us smack-dab into the old grindhouse atmosphere right off the bat with original "prevues of coming attractions" and "our feature presentation" clips, along with a kickass, spot-on trailer parody for a fictitious flick called MACHETE starring the ever-popular Danny Trejo as a blade-wielding badass for hire. It's only a couple of minutes long, but it contains enough outrageous action clips and gravely-intoned taglines ("If you're going to hire him to kill the bad guy--you'd better make damn sure the bad guy isn't YOU!") to make us wish it was a real movie. (Which it soon will be, apparently--according to IMDb, Rodriguez is preparing MACHETE for an 2010 release.)

After a vintage clip informing us that the following movie is intended for adults only, PLANET TERROR kicks in full blast with a title sequence featuring scantily-clad star Rose McGowan doing a very energetic pole-dance in a seedy Texas club. Holy G-strings, Batman! I don't know how you'll react, but it got my full attention. Rose is definitely lookin' good these days.

Her character, Cherry Darling, quits the club in the not-too-likely hope of becoming a stand-up comedian. On the walk home she's almost run over by a convoy of vehicles on its way to an abandoned military base. Here, a shady deal goes down between greedy scientist Abby (Naveen Andrews, "Lost") and a group of renegade soldiers led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce Willis) concerning a mysterious toxic gas called DC-2. The soldiers, it turns out, have been exposed to the gas and now need to inhale it in measured doses to counteract its horrific effects. But the deal erupts into a bloody gunfight, and before long a cloud of DC-2 is headed toward town.

Meanwhile, Cherry runs into her old lover Wray (Freddy Rodríguez, "Six Feet Under") in a roadside barbecue joint called The Bone Shack, which is run by the grizzled J.T. Hague (an almost unrecognizable Jeff Fahey). Cherry bums a ride home in Wray's wrecker truck, but they're attacked by some flesh-eating DC-2 zombies who make off with Cherry's right leg. At the hospital, soon-to-become-zombies are pouring into the emergency ward, where Josh Brolin is doing his best Nick Nolte imitation as the burnt-out, hypochondriac Dr. Block. Block is preoccupied by the fact that his wife, Dakota (Marley Shelton, SIN CITY) is having an affair with another woman played by "Fergie" of the Black-Eyed Peas, Stacy Ferguson. But he'll have more pressing concerns on his hands when the hospital begins to fill up with pus-spewing, gut-chomping zombies.

Wray gets hauled off to jail by Sheriff Hauge (Michael Biehn), who has had previous legal troubles with him. The sheriff is J.T.'s brother, and one of the funniest running gags in the film is him desperately trying to coerce J.T. into sharing his secret barbecue sauce recipe with him. But while he's booking Wray for whatever he can think of, zombies strike the police station in force and there's another extremely bloody battle.

Wray eventually makes his way back to the hospital to rescue Cherry, ramming a table leg onto the end of her stump in lieu of a more traditional prosthesis. The "Lt. Dan"-style missing-leg effects are awesome here, especially when Wray later replaces the table leg with a machine gun/grenade launcher that turns Cherry into one of the coolest warrior women in movie history.

Yet another awesome shoot-em-up scene occurs at the besieged, flame-engulfed barbecue joint, where the non-infected survivors have congregated and we discover that Wray is really El Wray. The significance of this is never explained (not only does the film "melt" during the big sex scene, but there's actually a missing reel!) but it's enough to convince Sheriff Hague, who tells his deputy, "Give him a gun. Give him all the guns." The survivors' flight down the highway in whatever escape vehicles they can scrounge up is a thrilling sequence highlighted by the sheriff bashing zombie pedestrians to bloody smithereens in Wray's wrecker while Wray heads the convoy on a tiny pocket bike.

The finale occurs at the old military base after they've all been detained by Lt. Muldoon and his renegade soldiers. Tarantino turns up as a lecherous psycho who tries to act out his women-in-cages fantasies with Cherry and Dakota, and ends up "getting the point", so to speak. His performance has been derided by some, but Tarantino knows exactly what kind of character he's playing and does it to a tee. (He also gets to perform the film's biggest gross-out scene, and boy, is it gross.) The good guys eventually escape from their cells and battle their way toward a helicopter, and not only does everything blow up real good but Cherry gets a mind-boggling opportunity to display her newly-developed battle skills in one of the coolest scenes ever.

All of this weird, wild stuff is wrought with all the directorial skills, grindhouse nostalgia, and giddy Monster Kid glee that Robert Rodriguez can muster. Once this thing gets started, it's non-stop over-the-top action all the way, drenched in gouts of fake blood 'n' guts and brimming with all the wonderful 70s exploitation elements Rodriguez can cram into it.

Stylistically, it's a near-perfect homage, complete with scratchy film, bad edits and splices to give it the look of an old, battered print that's been shown too many times, arch dialogue, and special effects that are well-rendered while being intentionally cheesy-looking. With the DVD's audience-reaction track activated, which to me is the only way to watch this film, it's like sitting in a cheap theater back in the old days. Rodriguez' conviction to go all the way with this concept has resulted in one of the most fun movies I've ever seen.

The entire cast is outstanding. Michael Parks returns as Texas Ranger Earl McGraw, a character that has appeared in Rodriguez' FROM DUSK TILL DAWN and Tarantino's KILL BILL and is further developed here. Gore makeup master Tom Savini and the original "El Mariachi" himself, Carlos Gallardo, appear as deputies. Rodriguez' twin nieces, Elise and Electra Avellán, play the Crazy Babysitter Twins, who should definitely be in their own movie. And his son Rebel does a nice job as the Blocks' young son, Tony, who loves tarantulas and scorpions but should never be trusted with a gun.

This DVD is one of the best Christmas gifts I ever got. Rarely have I had this much pure, unadulterated fun watching a movie. Of course, if you're one of those people who post on IMDb asking puzzled questions like "what's with all the scratches?" or pointing out all the obvious "goofs" and "gaffes", this movie probably isn't for you. But if you're an old-school flick fan who gets what Robert Rodriguez is up to here from the git-go, then chances are PLANET TERROR is an exploitation extravaganza that will be held over for an extended run in your home grindhouse theater.

Having gone ga-ga over PLANET TERROR, I couldn't wait to see the other half of the GRINDHOUSE double-feature he and collaborator Quentin Tarantino unleashed on widely unsuspecting audiences in '07. QT's muscle-car mayhem epic DEATH PROOF, while not as over-the-top awesome as Rodriguez' film, is still a pure, giddy joy that revels in the down and dirty delights of its low-budget inspirations.

We're first introduced to four lovely young wimmins cruising the Tex-Mex diners and bars of Austin, Texas, yakking endlessly about guys and planning an all-girl party at Lake LBJ. There's the petite blonde, Shanna (Cheryl Ladd's daughter Jordan of HOSTEL PART II and CABIN FEVER), leather-clad tough chick Lanna-Frank (Monica Staggs), sexy Brooklyn gal Butterfly (Vanessa Ferlito), and locally-famous radio DJ Jungle Julia (Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Sidney's daughter). Rose McGowan, the star of PLANET TERROR, plays a smaller role here as Pam, Julia's grade-school rival who shows up at the Texas Chili Parlor run by Warren (Tarantino) while the girls are there partying with some horny guys that include a funny Eli Roth (HOSTEL). And, for the record, PLANET TERROR's ever-popular Crazy Babysitter Twins are there as well.

Also sitting at the bar stuffing himself with nacho platters is the burly, scarfaced Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), a washed-up Hollywood stuntman who takes an interest in the girls and, through a series of circumstances, ends up getting a lap dance from Butterfly in a steamy set-piece. While Stuntman Mike seems friendly enough, there's something creepy and vaguely dangerous about him. But Pam needs a ride home and climbs into his black '69 Dodge Charger, which, as Mike tells her, is so heavily-reinforced for stuntwork as to be "death proof." This, however, only applies to the person behind the wheel, which Pam finds out to her immense regret as soon as they hit the street.

The first half of DEATH PROOF has the same battered, scratchy, spliced-to-hell look of PLANET TERROR, which should bring back fond memories to anyone who's actually been in a grindhouse or watched a midnight show where the print was as old as they are. For me, the nostalgic joy began in the very first seconds as soon as I heard that awesome bass line from Jack Nitszche's VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS theme, otherwise known as "The Last Race." Then the title, which, for a split second, is "Quentin Tarantino's Thunder Bolt" until the words "DEATH PROOF" are crudely spliced in, mimicking the look of all those cheap films that have been re-released under different titles. Another jarring splice cuts the title sequence short and dumps us into the movie proper.

Later, reel changes are clearly heralded by splotchy indicators and one of the biggest moments of the film, Butterfly's lap dance for Stuntman Mike, ends abruptly due to missing footage. This is the kind of stuff that will mean nothing to a lot of viewers, and in fact seems to put many of them off--which is probably one of the main reasons public reaction to this movie has been so divided--but it makes me as giddy as a schoolgirl.

What happens midway through DEATH PROOF is one of the most thrilling and totally unexpected scenes of recent years--I had to rewind and watch it two or three times just convince myself that this flabbergasting event really happened. Then, after a denouement which features yet another welcome appearance by Michael Parks' Texas Ranger character Earl McGraw, who got his brains blown out way back in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN but refuses to die, the movie blinks forward fourteen months and transports us to Lebanon, Tennessee, where Stuntman Mike is up to his old tricks again.

This time, we meet four more young women who are in town for the making of a softcore "cheerleader" movie. Rosario Dawson (SIN CITY) is makeup artist Abbie, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead is the movie's cutie-pie star, Lee. Their two friends are hardcore stuntwomen Kim (Tracie Thoms) and real-life stuntwoman Zoë Bell, who plays herself. Zoë's dream is to drive a white 1970 Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine, just like the one in VANISHING POINT.

Sure enough, there's a guy in town with one for sale, and before long, the girls (minus Lee) are out for a pedal-to-the-metal test drive that includes a hair-raising stunt called "Ship's Mast" with Zoë sprawled across the car's hood. This, of course, is when Stuntman Mike makes a surprise reappearance, crashing into the Challenger and then trying to run it off the road in a prolonged, stunt-packed pursuit over rural roads and highways.

Having a real stuntwoman playing a main role adds to the excitement because we see her face the whole time and know she's really doing all of this dangerous and thrilling stuff herself. Tarantino also uses legendary veterans such as Buddy Joe Hooker and Terry Leonard for the driving stunts, allowing him to indulge his imagination with some of the most incredible set-ups ever filmed. "Adrenaline-charged" would be an apt way to describe this harrowing car chase sequence, all the way up to the truly kooky ending in which the girls turn the tables on ol' Stuntman Mike.

The battered-print look disappears in DEATH PROOF's second half, as though we're now seeing another kind of exploitation flick--perhaps the more upper-scale stuff (GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS, VANISHING POINT, et al) that Kim and Zoë like to gush about. One thing that remains consistent throughout the movie, though, is Quentin Tarantino's well-known obsession with female feet. If you're a foot fetishist too, you'll love this movie from the very first frame, as this appears to be Tarantino's substitute for the gratuitous "boob shots" often seen in the usual grindhouse fare. There's also an abundance of big butts, gorgeous legs, and stuffed shirts, all lovingly photographed by a gleefully leering QT. Sydney Tamiia Poitier, in particular, proves a highly photogenic focus for such directorial indulgence. I'm not complaining.

I have heard complaints that much of the girls' dialogue scenes in this movie are too ponderous and not as witty or clever as the "royale with cheese"-type stuff from PULP FICTION. Me, I just like to hear Tarantino's characters talk, even when it isn't all deliciously quotable. These long yakkity-yak scenes also help us get to know the characters before they're subjected to extreme terror and peril by Stuntman Mike. As the crazed highway stalker, Kurt Russell is simply wonderful. Relaxed, jovial, but somehow not quite right, Mike is a great character and Russell is obviously having a ball playing him.

Tarantino has already wowed the mainstream with RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION--here he's content to give us old-time, pre-multiplex movie fans like himself a thoroughly entertaining thrill ride down memory lane in a souped-up exploitation flick with a defiant get-it-or-don't attitude. Like PLANET TERROR, the other half of this heartfelt love letter to grindhouse fans, DEATH PROOF doesn't need mainstream acceptance to validate it or make it good. It's critic-proof.

Buy "Planet Terror" at Amazon.com
Buy "Death Proof" at Amazon.com

THE NEANDERTHAL MAN -- movie review by porfle

2009-10-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

(CAUTION: The part where I sorta give away the ending might be considered a "spoiler.")

My videotapes, mostly recorded on SLP so I could cram more stuff onto them, are a real mixed bag. Recently, I was watching one that features two great classics--THE SAND PEBBLES and SEVEN SAMURAI--followed by THE NEANDERTHAL MAN (1953). Talk about taking a nosedive from the sublime to the ridiculous! And yet, this is one of my favorite schlock films from the 50s.

Robert Shayne, who was Inspector Henderson on TV's "The Adventures of Superman", plays Professor Clifford Groves, a scientist who is obsessed with proving that primitive man was superior to modern man, not only physically but mentally as well. And when I say "obsessed", I mean googly-eyed, profusely-sweaty obsessed. When he addresses a group of fellow scientists early in the film to expound upon his theories to their chuckling derision, he's already in full-on whacko mode. He practically chases his scoffing peers out of the room as he rants, "Tuck your fears between your legs and run from new truths! Small men! Small views! You want proof, do you? Well, I'll give you proof! I'll show you such proof that no men have ever had!"

Meanwhile, in the High Sierra mountains of California, the local folk have been reporting a huge sabertooth tiger roaming the woods. Game warden George Oakes (Robert Long) is skeptical until he's driving down the road one night and it leaps onto his hood. Up to this point we've seen only stock footage of a regular tiger (in one shot, his leash is clearly visible), but here we're given a close-up, and it's a doozy--it looks like a big plush-doll tiger head with long fangs glued on. Really, it's just totally laughable. But it's enough to scare the dickens out of poor old George and send him to Los Angeles to seek help from a zoological expert named Dr. Ross Harkness (Richard Crane, TV's "Rocky Jones, Space Ranger"), who, after some initial skepticism of his own, agrees to come check out the situation. (And with a name like "Dr. Ross Harkness", we can safely guess that this doughy, Vitalis-haired stiff is going to be the film's heroic character.) A couple of convenient story twists later, and he's actually staying in Professor Groves' house during his investigation.

But where did this prehistoric beast come from? In an earlier scene, we saw something escape from the lab of Professor Groves, who lives in the mountains with his daughter Jan (Joyce Terry, who sorta resembles a serious Gracie Allen). He's been developing a reverse-evolution serum that will cause the subject to regress to its primitive state, and we discover that the sabertooth tiger is really a kitty cat that he has injected with the serum. With this in mind, you just know that the good professor is going to use it on himself sooner or later. The only question is, will this make him scarier than he already is?

In one of the least believable aspects of the script, we find that this creep actually has a fiancée named Ruth Marshall (Doris Merrick). She's a fairly decent-looking dame, so God only knows why she's remotely interested in marrying a goofball like Professor Groves. "I want you--the man I once knew! The good companion, the cheerful friend!" she whines, practically grovelling as she begs him to give up his all-consuming research and go back to being Mr. Fun Guy again. "What is this unhappy work that has absorbed you so much, that is undermining your nervous system and making you such an intolerable sorehead?" (You just don't get fascinating dialogue like this in good movies.) At one point she ruffles his hair, and he finishes out the scene with a feather-duster hairstyle which, coupled with his dour, persimmony expression, looks wonderfully comical.

But the old sorehead throws her out of his lab, because it's time at last for him to inject himself with the serum and turn into a monster. This sequence is fascinating because it uses the same technique seen in classics such as DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1932) and WEREWOLF OF LONDON--instead of just lap-dissolving from one stage of makeup to the next, as in the Lon Chaney "Wolf Man" movies, we see makeup that is already applied to Shayne's face become slowly visible as the lighting is gradually altered. This makes for some pretty convincing transforming in a couple of shots. Unfortunately, the makeups that he is transforming into look so dumb that they cause him to resemble a hairy, bucktoothed Clint Howard. The final stage of his transformation is a stiff, crummy-looking gorilla mask with too much eyeliner. And for some reason, he also sports a head of curly ringlets that would make Shirley Temple jealous.

Well, it's rampage time, and the Neanderthal Man horns in on a romantic photography session deep in the woods, where some guy is snapping pictures of Beverly Garland, who plays Nola Mason, the waitress at Webb's Cafe, in a one-piece bathing suit. I love Beverly Garland--she was a fine actress who brightened many a low-rent monster flick with her lovely and talented presence--but here, she's replaced by a stand-in in the bathing suit shots. We can clearly see that it isn't her posing provocatively for the camera, which is just plain weird. Anyway, the Neanderthal Man shows up, kills the guy with the camera, and carries Beverly off into the woods to have his Neanderthal way with her. Which, you might imagine, does not include dinner and a movie.

The monster returns to the lab and reverts back into Professor Groves. But just like Dr. Jekyll before him, he finds the lure of the beast too strong and begins to transform without the benefit of the serum. After that, he runs around in the woods some more and kills a couple of other guys until finally our hero Dr. Harkness is able to use his incredible intellect to figure out a way to stop him.

One of the most remarkable things about THE NEANDERTHAL MAN is how similar is its idea of genetic memory being retained in the brain of Man to the theories of William Hurt's "Eddie Jessup" in the much later ALTERED STATES. Both characters espouse the same theories and use drugs to revert to their devolved states, transforming themselves into primitive man-beasts that go on a rampage. I don't know if ALTERED STATES' screenwriter Paddy Chayevsky ever saw this movie, but the similarities are pretty strong.

Another noteworthy element of this movie is the pulse-pounding musical score by Albert Glasser (THE CYCLOPS, INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, EARTH VS. THE SPIDER). Glasser was just plain awesome--I don't know how he did it, but he could write music that, in its all-out, almost artless intensity, could simply scare the crap out of me when I was a kid, and still retains its ability to give me the creeps. Glasser wielded the studio orchestra like a blunt instrument, using blaring brass and pounding kettle drums to bludgeon the viewer with a sense of unreasoning fear. He goes full-tilt even in scenes such as Professor Groves simply entering his lab, filling the viewer with an unrelenting sense of unease that is sustained throughout the entire movie.

This almost palpable musical background also underlies another memorable sequence, in which Dr. Harkness discovers that Professor Groves has been experimenting on his deaf-mute housegirl, Celia, when he uncovers a series of photographs detailing her transformation. In yet another seeming inspiration for a later film, the sequence in which Harkness leafs through the photographs serves as a veritable blueprint for the scene in SE7EN in which "Sloth" victim Victor's photographic record of deterioration is discovered by Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman's cop characters.

All of which adds up to a pretty interesting monster flick, though admittedly it's also cheap, tawdry, and often inept. Directed by Ewald André Dupont, whose career began with silent films in 1918 and undoubtedly saw better days, THE NEANDERTHAL MAN is a lot of fun to watch, and, come to think of it, that's all it really needs to be. Whether you watch it on its own terms or simply to make fun of it, it's still an entertaining film. And at the end, Dr. Harkness gets to solemnly recite one of those classic, self-important soliloquies so common to films of this type:

"We mustn't think of him too harshly. The things he did--and they were terrible--all of us are capable of doing when we give free play to the basis which is a part of everyone. He tampered with things beyond his province...beyond what any man should do. And if it was madness...well...those whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad." Oh, yeah! Gotta love it.

Buy it at Amazon.com

THE CYCLOPS -- movie review by porfle

2009-10-18T23:50:00.000-07:00

One of my earliest movie-watching memories is sitting in my mom's lap in the livingroom while my older brother watched THE CYCLOPS (1957) on TV. When the monster, a giant man in a loin cloth with an ultra-hideously scarred face and one big, bulging eyeball, thrust his ugly mug into the mouth of the cave where the main characters were hiding and started roaring at them, it scared the ever-livin' crap outta me. At one point during this grueling ordeal of sheer terror, my mom tried to calm me down by saying, "Ohh, he's not scary...he looks like a funny clown." Well, he didn't look like a funny clown.

In 1993, I caught THE CYCLOPS again on TNT's Monstervision and watched it for nostalgia's sake, just to see what had been so traumatically frightening to me as a young tricycle motor. Back then, even the cheapest B-movie had a documentary realism to it, but now I could see THE CYCLOPS for what it was--a cheap, not-very-competently made schockfest with really bad special effects.

Fortunately, I taped the movie that night and watched it again today after all these years, and, strangely enough, I found it pretty enjoyable this time around. The always adorable Gloria Talbott of I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE fame plays Susan Winter, a woman who is determined to find her missing husband, Bruce, and hires a pilot named Lee Brand (Tom Drake, in a bit of a career comedown from his MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS days) to fly her into the isolated canyon in Mexico where Bruce disappeared three years earlier. Accompanying them on the expedition are Russ Bradford (James Craig), an old friend with romantic designs on Susan, and big-ape Marty Melville, who comes along only because he's heard the canyon is full of uranium and wants to get rich quick. Marty's a blustery, hair-triggered loose cannon, so it's fitting that the aging, alcoholic, unpredictable Lon Chaney, Jr. is cast in the role.

The film is written and directed by Bert I. Gordon ("B.I.G."), who loved to make cheap horror flicks about giant men (THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST), women (VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS, a personal fave), and creatures (EARTH VS. THE SPIDER, KING DINOSAUR, THE FOOD OF THE GODS). He also seemed to have an affinity for really crappy special effects, because his movies are full of them. In this one, the Cyclops and other over-sized beasts that Susan and the boys run into are often transparent, and they rarely seem to blend convincingly into their surroundings.

There's a battle between an iguana and a gila monster in which you can see them being thrown at each other from off camera, then slowly turned over and over by their tails like rolling pins to make it look like they're locked in mortal combat. In one of the worst FX shots ever, a large, superimposed hand seems to close around Gloria Talbott, and then the entire picture, background and all, is simply whisked upward out of the frame to make it look like she's being picked up. You have to marvel at Gordon's wrong-way audacity here even as you shake your head in disbelief.

Meanwhile, the googly-eyed Chaney is so scary as "Marty" that he almost overshadows the Cyclops. During the flight into the canyon, he goes nuts when the plane hits an updraft and, in a blind panic, slugs the pilot out cold! Hilarity ensues as Russ struggles to restrain Marty, who doesn't know how to fly a plane, from taking over the controls while Susan frantically tries to wake up Lee.

Later, the totally selfish and mercenary Marty is so anxious to get back to civilization and file a claim on the valley that he is constantly harassing Lee to fly him back and leave Susan and Russ behind to fend for themselves against the giant critters. I think that if Gordon had just replaced the Cyclops with a screaming, 25-foot-tall Lon Chaney, Jr. stomping around in a loin cloth looking for a bottle of hooch, the movie would've been a hundred times scarier. As "skelton knaggs", a fellow member of the Classic Horror Film Board once put it: "When Lon Chaney throws on the ham, I can just smell dem eggs frying."

But as it is, the Cyclops is the main attraction here, and after all these years I still think he's a pretty cool monster. The makeup job by Jack H. Young, who worked on Margaret Hamilton in THE WIZARD OF OZ and would go on to other triumphs with such films as THE BROOD, APOCALYPSE NOW, and TV's SALEM'S LOT, is a real doozy. Actor Duncan Parkin had his head shaved and was given a gash of a mouth with half the flesh ripped away to reveal his teeth, a protruding bloodshot left eye, and a horrid flap of skin stretched over his other eye. The look is similar to the monster in Gordon's WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST, and it would be hard to decide which is more disturbing--but I think the Cyclops has the edge for pure hideousness.

Renowned voice artist Paul Frees gives the monster a constant series of blood-curdling grunts, bellows, and growls, which was a big part of what scared me so much as a kid. Another unsettling element is the overwhelmingly aggressive musical score by the Luca Brasi of film music, Albert Glasser. As I mentioned in my review of THE NEANDERTHAL MAN, Glasser was the king of blatant, overbearing musical bombast that assaulted the listener like a caveman wielding a big gnarly club. Glasser only knew one gear--over the top--and he floored it. Just listening to his music alone could probably cause some people to suffer a panic attack.

The simple story takes a tragic turn as Susan and Russ make a startling discovery about the Cyclops. (You can probably guess what it is without expending too many brain cells.) When the group finally escapes from the cave and makes it back to the plane, the giant monster shambles toward them as Lee tries unsuccessfully to start the engine. As a last resort, Russ decides to draw his attention away from the others by offering himself as a target for the monster's wrath. What happens next will come as no surprise to those in any way familiar with Homer's "Odyssey."

Seeing the enraged Cyclops bearing down on our heroes brought back some residual childhood fears that still make it hard for me to be impartial about this movie--somehow, the big, ugly oaf still scares me while others might see him only as something to laugh at. But like I said, I still think he's a pretty cool monster. THE CYCLOPS is a movie that isn't nearly good enough to take seriously, but isn't bad in a totally "funny ha-ha" way like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE or Gordon's schlock epic VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS. It's just a fairly, or maybe barely, decent grade-Z monster flick that is either a fun watch or a grueling bore, depending on your point of view. For me, it's a fun watch. But I still don't think that damn monster looks anything like a "funny clown."

(Thanks to Kerry Gammill for the "Cyclown" pic.)