Puffer and the Baby Fish

Well at Least I Don't Have to Walk in the Rain.

2008-07-24T07:50:00.002-04:00

AF muscled her way through the progesterone and is having a party in my panties right now.

No walk to the clinic in the rain. No test to take. No secret to keep.

On to try #6. The last IUI. No pressure or anything, right?

I Have a Confession to Make

2008-07-23T17:09:00.004-04:00

I didn't go take the test this morning. I took my temp and it had fallen, same pattern as last month when, yes, let's just say it: I was not pregnant.
It's better this way anyway. It would've been really hard to not say anything to her for 2 days and this way I don't have to worry about that.

When I took the trip to Boston I had to skip my progesterone Monday night since I couldn't figure out on the fly how it would make it up there without melting. I figured it would not hurt my body to miss one little pill popper this late in the cycle. However, it probably triggered my body to think it could go back to its regular programming...and then my temp dropped.
As an added bonus I had a slight headache today. The special kind of headache I only get right before my period.
So....let's just say I'd be totally surprised if I was pregnant.

I thought about stopping the suppositories tonight and just letting nature take its course. I'm sure I'd bleed within 48 hours. BUT. K says go take the test. So tomorrow, bright and early, I'll be giving blood again.

Actually, I have another confession to make. I've never bought a pregnancy test. I steal them.
Just KIDDING!!! When I started this process, a women in a TTC group I was attending gave me a bag with 3 tests and I used those for March, April and May. Then I ran out. And...well, I said I was frugal, didn't I?
It seemed silly to buy them when I could either just wait to bleed or go take a test at the clinic that would be 100% conclusive.
I've been waiting on one thing or another pretty much my whole life.
I guess I'm pretty good at waiting.

13 DPO...

2008-07-22T19:50:00.010-04:00

It's been busy around here since my IUI. I will say that the TWW has flown by and I'm super happy about that.

Not to bore you with the details, but here what's been going on (in Days Past Ovulation form):

2 DPO - Acupuncture for post IUI. She says my temp cycle is the best one I've ever had and the timing looks great.

Hit a fab summer sale and picked up a beach dress for now...and later for Bali!

That evening headed out to Prospect Park to see the Brazilian G.irls in concert. We went out with another couple, had an amazing picnic on the lawn and then as night fell the band took over and we danced in the Groove Zone until the parks dept shut us down.

3 DPO - Back to Brooklyn (we love Park Slope!) and had the pleasure of finally meeting the lovely ladies from Babypants. Hey Girls! It was lesbian couples blind date! We talked for two hours over tea before heading to Prospect Park (yes, again) to see Beth O.rton in concert. It was mildly disappointing and we were wishing we'd gone to see Julietta V.enegas at Summer Stage instead, but then we wouldn't have met up with LBabypants and HBabypants, so it was worth it!

4 PDO - K's brother and wife from LA are in town! We had 10 family members over to 'our' lawn and had brunch outside while we all caught up for hours. It was so nice and relaxing. Later, K, the bro and I went on a nice long walk down the East River esplanade before coming home and cooking up a delicious meal using all of our vegetables from our farm share. Perfect weekend!

6 DPO - Noticed that the progesterone hasn't made me crazy this cycle. That could also be because last month I was taking double the dosage I was supposed to! Yep, the pharmacist fucked up and told me to take 200mg twice a day, but the RE says...no! Only once! K is here to vouch for me that I am not having any bitchy side effects at all this month and that is soooo nice for everyone in this house!

Therapist says this is the happiest she has ever seen me. I am happy, it's true. I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

8 DPO - Went to my friend's art gallery opening. Saw lots of friends, so good to be around people who care about me. Walked across town with a BF, her adorable son and caught up on life. Beautiful summer night, wanted to stay out forever.

9 DPO - Had dinner with 4 other friends at a yummy Brazilian restaurant. Tried to go salsa dancing afterwards, but the DJ had other tunes in mind, so we headed out for gelato and called it a night.

10 DPO - Met up for brunch in the West Village with another TTC couple we met on a lesbian online forum. This was the 2nd time we'd met them and we had so much fun! Really wished they lived closer so we could get together more often.

That night...I relived my youth by going to see YAZ in their final farewell concert. Now, I know most of my readers might not know who YAZ/YAZOO is (and if you do, drop me a line!) but let me just say: They are the duo of Alison Moyet and Vince Clark and they were just as brilliant tonight--25 years later--as they were in 1983 when they split. After the split, Moyet went on to a brilliant solo career and Clark formed Erasure (I know you've heard of them, right?!) and found a lead singer, Andy Bell, who vocally was a dead ringer for Moyet.

It was so amazing to see the people in their 30's, 40's and 50's dancing around like teenagers again. I went with one of best girlfriends for over 16 years and we had a great time reliving our youth (and tried to not think too much about that 25 years part....)!

11 DPO - K and I got up early, met three friends and headed out to Long B.each for some playa time. I can't believe we're nearly at the end of July and just now getting to the beach! We've decided we need to get out here a bit more and build up a base tan for vacation. Lovely day spent reading, people watching, chilling with friends, long walks and eating. I love the beach.

12 DPO - Off to Boston for a business trip

13 DPO - Back from Boston. My boss is brilliant but can talk for 3.5 hours RT and then some....I am exhausted and need some quiet time, so doing nothing but reading tonight. The cats really missed me.

And tomorrow...it will be testing time.

I've had symptoms oh yes I have, many abdominal pains, heartburn, a couple bouts of nausea and for the last 3 days tits that feel as if I'm slinging around bowling balls. What could it be? Could be the C.lomid. Coud be the progesterone. Could be my period. Could be.....pregnant?

I am hopeful. I do have hope.

But you'll have to wait until Friday to find out because K and I have decided that if I am pregnant, she wants to hear it in person. Since her flight generally doesn't get her home until after midnight on Thursdays, that means either way, I can't say what the verdict is until then.

Belated congratulations to the lovelies over at Now That You Know! Way to go ladies! I knew third time was a charm!!!!

We have a Winner!

2008-07-16T09:47:00.002-04:00

Queerstork guessed correctly! We are going to Bali and then to the Gilli Islands off the coast of Lombok.

Lizzie from Two Chicks in Pursuit of a Babe guessed Java / Bora Bora so I'm giving props to her as well since Java is sooo close and Bora Bora was on the list of places we were considering.

I had a feeling these two would be the winners as Queerstork and I are neck-in-neck for countries visited and Lizzie is a world traveler, too. Well Done Ladies!

If both of you will PM me, I'll get your details and you'll get a free I Love NY T-shirt!

This contest really weeded out the map junkie/geography students, didn't it? Years ago, I got this laminated world map that I mounted on foam core and framed. It hangs in our bathroom and has tiny colored push pins with all the places we've been. Every time I get home from a trip, I can't wait to add another pin. I'm out to conquer that world map. When we have guests, they tend to stay in the loo longer then usual!

Yes, Rachel, you are right. We plan to keep right on traveling with this baby. It will be different, but it will be wonderful and we can't wait!!

More Contest Clues!

2008-07-15T07:58:00.005-04:00

We've been to this country recently
We started to go to this island in 2004, but a political situation changed our mind
This island is completely unique to the country
Many expats arrive and never leave
I was offered a job on this island last year but declined due to TTC plans

How to Plan a Vacation While TTC / Contest Involved!

2008-07-14T14:29:00.001-04:00

*Warning* long post below while I sort out my head

This post has been a long time coming. As I’ve mentioned before, K does not work in NYC. She flies out every Monday morning to the client site and comes back late Thursday night. There’s not any flexibility in this and so the only time she can take vacation is in between projects. The projects generally last between 3-4 months.

Last Spring we thought she might be placed on a project in South America, so the thinking was that I would fly down every 3 weeks and we would do mini vacations and do something fantastic, like go to the Amazon, the week after her project ended.
She wasn’t placed on that project.

Then we were going to go on vacation in May to Panama. Two years ago, when K finished her MBA, we took 3 months off that summer and backpacked throughout Central America. Starting in Mexico—with a side trip to Cuba—we went through Belize, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and Costa Rica. The only countries we didn’t get to see are El Salvador (and neither of us had much of an interest) and Panama. We were so excited to finally go there!

I had the entire thing planned. We would start off in Panama City, fly to the San Blas Islands, camp, snorkel, scuba dive and eat fresh fish as we swayed in hammocks. The next week we’d fly to the Bocas del Toro where essentially we’d do the same thing. We’d fly back to Panama City a day before my birthday and I’d spend turning 39 on a cruise down the Panama Canal. Maybe I’d even buy one of those famous hats, why not?
Just before I bought the airline tickets, she was placed on a new project.

You getting a sense of how hard this is without adding TTC into the mix?

Looking back, these other trips did not happen for a reason. I hadn’t even thought about the health risks of some of these locations and the fact I might be pregnant. I was simply planning around anticipated ovulation dates and when K could take time off.

The past 4-5 years for me have been almost non-stop travel. It's what I do. I quit jobs to travel. I could be the most frugal person you know. I save all my money to travel. I live and breathe to explore. I get homesick in airports longingly looking at all of the destinations to go. I will do anything to travel. I've even put baby making plans on the back burner because of traveling!

Now, with #4 BFN, we need a vacation for real. K has verified early September is approved for vacation. She will have 18 days.
This is not my ideal time to go because I'd much rather travel during the recommended 2nd trimester. But, this is the only time we'll have for...? So hell yeah, we're going!

But this TTC/could be pregnant makes it very difficult to plan a destination.
A lot of places like Panama (malaria), Amazon (malaria) and many other places we’ve considered (did I mention we’re attracted to third world countries that are in malaria zones?) are out. Argentina sounded safe except that ‘if’ I’m pregnant I can’t participate in most of the things that make Argentina fun (rock climbing, wine tasting, white water rafting, horse-back riding).

Pregnant or not, we have a few requirements for this trip: beach, snorkeling, scuba diving (if I’m not pregnant I can join and if I am K can still dive), cultural interests, hiking, yoga and good food.

Right now, we are seriously thinking of going to a couple of gorgeous islands in South East Asia (slight, rare possibility of malaria!).
These two islands offer everything we want out of this vacation. If I am pregnant and feel like crap, I can just chill by the pool or on the beach. If I’m not pregnant, I can log in some awesome dives. If I’m pregnant but feel good, I can do everything BUT dive. Plus, there’s decent medical care on the island. I would feel completely comfortable on that level.

Added bonus: K has accumulated a gazillion Starwood Hotel points, so we could lounge in the lap of luxury without paying for hotels for at least part of the holiday. She's pretty excited about this as our usual budget allows for $10 guest houses that have bucket showers. Many places in SEA have traditional showers where water is often dipped from a large barrel/tile tank. Sometimes there will be a hand-held shower head if you're lucky. What I mean here is that it'll be cold water. It'll certainly wake you up in the morning. Also, there is always a spray nozzle to clean up after your time on the toilet, but no TP unless you're staying somewhere swankier. Even with TP provided, you will still have a nozzle. It's quite nice, really, like a Asian-style bidet.

I'm always the one who is fine with roughing it while she would rather splurge for more creature comforts. Example: I spent one month on a small island in Southern Thailand living in a bungalow where rats raced across the rafters in the heat of the night, so anything without rats and a bucket shower is an upgrade at this point!

CONTEST: The first person who can guess at least ONE of the islands we are going to will receive an I Love New York T-shirt! I'll give you hint...we haven't been to this island before, but we have been to this country. You can check out my new list "Travelher's Travels" to find out where I've been.
*Those who already know can't play!*

Thank you everyone for chiming in and saying GO! I still haven't bought the tickets...but it looks like we're GOING!!!

Is This a Good Idea?

2008-07-12T13:46:00.004-04:00

I'm all better now, thank you very much for your concern and the virtual hugs. I ended up meeting a 4 1/2 month pregnant (lesbian, IVF) friend for lunch in the park and she gave me a great hug. Later I had my usual 30 lbs of cats on me when I got into bed. Those are cat hugs every single night and I love them!

So, we need a vacation.

Here's the situation: We're going on vacation in early September, we have 18 days. We don't know if I'll be pregnant or not. It's either a snorkeling/seltzer "babymoon" or a pre-IVF blow out holiday complete w/ scuba diving and cocktails on the beach.

The most I could be pregnant is 2 months, or I could only be 1 month. Or I might not be pregnant at all.

We're looking at a certain island that is halfway around the world and requires a 24+ hour plane ride.

I could have really bad 1st trimester sickness. Or not.

I figure all I have to do is make it through the plane ride and I've done this trip 6 times, so I know what I'm in for. Once I'm there if I'm sick I can lay on the beach or lay at the pool. How hard could it be?

Is this a bad idea? Should we go somewhere closer?

The Post About How I Tried Very Hard to Quit Freaking Out

2008-07-09T19:14:00.005-04:00

First of all, the nurse that called me back is my all-time not favorite nurse. She's loud and gruff. I cringe when I hear her. She's not mean, she's just...not the most patient person I've met.

She stands in stark contrast to my regular nurse, whom I adore and my RE, who is very soft-spoken and has kind eyes when he looks at you.

When I got to the clinic I was more than a little worked up. Listening to Tori Amos on the way probably did not help. It was iPod shuffle, I didn't do it on purpose and damn, "Precious Things" is an awesome song.

My fave nurse could see that I was on edge and as soon as we got into the room, I started telling her how I was second guessing everything and asking questions. Apparently, I was worked up enough that she did not feel comfortable going ahead with the IUI and went to get my RE out of a meeting. While I was waiting, I almost lost it half naked on the table alternating between wanting to scream or cry. I did neither. But I just wanted a hug and there was no one there to give me one. This is a really hard thing to do month after month by yourself.

The RE listened to all of my concerns and said that while it was highly unlikely (due to my blood levels the day before) I had ovulated, there was a slight possibility. However, what I was probably feeling was the drug working its magic on my ovaries.

Regardless, I wanted another ultrasound. Everything checked out, lining nice and thick and stripey, two follies trucking along. I had not ovulated.

Which leads me to further mind-fuck territory because now I feel like I can't even trust listening to my own body.

I was very honest in expressing to him that I felt like I was just coming in here every month throwing money away for a crap shoot of 'maybe' and that in the end I would end up doing IVF anyway because it was the only exact science of making a baby (and even with that there are no guarantees). It's not that he agreed or disagreed, but IVF is what RE's excel at. IUI, not so much because there's so much even they cannot control.

The insemination went so very well, I didn't even feel it. Seth's sperm count was great, 14 million full motility swimmers. I should be feeling happy, more relaxed...but...

For the past couple of weeks, I've been so totally fine and laid back about everything and I have a feeling that in a couple of days that feeling will return. It's this day, more than the entire TWW worth of days, that makes me feel like banging my head against a wall and stealing a baby (don't worry I'm not making any plans to steal a baby and I've already banged my head against the wall).

The entire time I'm wondering, "is this me, really me? or is this me on cl.o.mid?" I honestly don't know.

Oh and I just found out one of my BF's is 5 months pregnant. She's a few years older than me and they have been trying au natural for a long time. I am so incredibly happy for her that she didn't have to go through any of this.

This is the Day That Makes Me CRAZY

2008-07-09T09:32:00.008-04:00

So I went in yesterday and one follicle was 18.5, the other 13.5. They like to see at least an 18 before giving the trigger shot.

I got the trigger shot about 9am.

Last night at 11:30pm, I felt ovulatory pains very, very strong ones.

Now, from what I know: a trigger shot induces ovulation between 12-24 hours (some say 36?) and you should have the IUI between 24-36 hours afterwards.

What a minute, after what?? After the trigger or after I ovulate/feel ovulation?

But what if I ovulated at 14 hours past trigger? Which is what it felt like...

Once the egg is released it's viable for about 24 hours and frozen sperm live 6-12 hours, so an 11am IUI would be good timing because it's within the 24 hours after ovulation, yes?

Or it would be bad because you want the sperm sitting there ready to pounce WHEN you ovulate?

See, I should know all of this. Really, I should. I do, I just forget. I get confused. I second-guess everything and I feel so stupid after 5 tries and how many months of prep to still be asking basic questions.

I've got a call in to my RE and nurse this morning already, but they are so crazy in the a.m. no one has called me back.

This day is the one that makes me crazy. The second-guessing and crap shoot timing of it all.

This is the day, every month, that I wonder how anyone ever gets pregnant.

****Edited to add: Nurse called. Basically told me according to my blood yesterday there is no way I've already ovulated. Please remember I took hormones this month and quit freaking out. Hee Hee.****

So....I've got 45 minutes to walk myself up to the spermification palace. See ya.

Day 11 and More Crazy Dreams

2008-07-07T16:54:00.003-04:00

I’ve been warned by J.K-C of Our Incredible True Adventures that these crazy dreams may keep going on and on and on…

More weird dreams for your entertainment…last night I dreamt I had a spreadsheet of the IVP bloggers. I knew your real names; there was a photo and your age. I could finally keep everyone straightened out in my head. It was fantastic.

A girl called Wendy came through about 5am, destroyed my life and almost caused K bodily harm. You see K had been seeing Wendy behind my back (ah yes, that would be cheating) and when I found out and woke up it took every bit of sanity to talk myself out of kicking and hitting her. I sat up and pondered where to kick her first. I thought about waking her up and yelling at her and asking her ‘who the hell is Wendy?’ But then I remembered I was dreaming. Even so, I still thought about kicking her and blaming it on a nightmare but by that point I was wide awake and coherent.
It took me a long time to get back to sleep after that. Wendy was hot.

The Day 11 follie scan went great, one at 10.5 and one at 15. Doc doubts the tenner will make it, but we’ve got high hopes for #15.
Estrogen, 358 and LH, 11.5 for those of you interested in the numbers. I predict an IUI Thursday. Let’s see if I’m right.
The nurse and Doc were all very amused to hear of my J.Lo dreams. That got quite the laugh and it’s not always easy to make these people laugh, trust me, I try.
Doctors are Very.Serious.People.

Basically this cycle, I have been chillin’. I’m not thinking about getting pregnant, or analyzing charts or anything related to baby-making other then the bare necessities—like Dr. appointments, eating well, exercising and taking my pre-natals. K and I have not been talking much about it and that’s good by me.

We’ve been thoroughly enjoying ourselves this summer, packing as much into it as possible thinking “this could be the last summer of freedom”. Not that K and I don’t want to have a tiny bambino encroaching on our freedoms, but things will change more than we can even imagine and right now, we are focusing on the positive aspects of being totally free.

We had a rich and varied life before thinking about getting pregnant and I don’t want to get so bogged down in the TTC that it changes all of these things in my life.

So for now, I’m having an awesome summer. And when I get pregnant, I get pregnant. Maybe it will be this month. Maybe not. I don’t know. And for right now, that’s OK.

Fertility Soup

2008-07-06T20:01:00.010-04:00

This week K has been able to work from home which means that she's home for TEN straight days!!! Considering we usually only see each other 3 days a week, this is almost like a vacation!

Aside from work, she's also been cooking up a storm, making sure I'm well fed and healthy.

This soup is called [insert name] Fertility Soup. Enjoy!

One bunch kale, chopped
One can white canellini beans
One can crushed tomatoes
One carton chicken stock
A few garlic scapes (or 1 clove garlic), finely chopped
1/2 onion, diced
Diced, sauteed pancetta (or bacon) as you wish

Sautee garlic scapes and onion in olive oil
In large pot, add all ingredients w/ kale last.
Salt and pepper to taste.
Garnish w/ grated parmesan

The Evil Ms. C

2008-07-06T19:03:00.004-04:00

Cl.o.mid that is.

I'm done! I made it through five days with no side effects other than being a little bit more prone to crying and this:

"I hope you DIE," yelled at K with eyes wide open in the middle of the night.
"Honey, I think you're having a nightmare."
"Oh. I am", and with that I went back to sleep.

That was me yelling at my stepfather (I don't want K to die!).

Funny thing about the Evil Ms C, she makes me dream very vividly for one (and I'm taking it in the morning) but also, I remember with incredible clarity ALL of the crazy dreams.

The night before that, I did yoga on the lawn with J. Lo. Yep. I don't even care about J.Lo, don't know what she sings, don't know much about J. Lo other than that big booty, but damned if we didn't have an awesome yoga session on her lawn.

Also that night, a naked man chasing me who had white mushrooms growing on his, ahem, 'member'.

WTF?!?

If this is the worst thing the Evil Ms. C has in store for me, it's all good.

Tomorrow I have a date with the dildocam and we'll see if this is taking me anywhere good.

Playing Tourist in NYC

2008-07-03T23:15:00.001-04:00

I had an old friend in town last week and Thursday we played tourist in NYC. I love having visitors and an excuse to do all the things you don't otherwise.

But H wanted to go to Ellis Island. A very patriotic place. On the 3rd of July. With about 2 million tourists in town (I don't know how many, but there's a LOT of map totin' going on in my corner of the world).

So I say to my very dear H, "Yes, we can go but we have to go EARLY." "How early?" "The first ferry leaves at 9am." "I could check out of the hotel and be to your place by 9:30, maybe 9:45."

Fair enough.

I know he will be late. He is always late. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he lived here 8 years ago and we've all changed a great deal since 2000.

At 12:50 after standing in line for 40 minutes in the blazing sun, we found out the next (and last) ferry would depart at 2pm and we needed to go stand in line now to get on, but there was no guarantee it wasn't already full. WTF?!

Deciding that maybe standing in line all day wasn't the best way to spend the day, we bailed and instead took the easy and free Staten Island Ferry to chill and have a great view of Lady Liberty.

We then walked through the oldest part of downtown, stopping by Fraunces Tavern, where

at the end of the Revolutionary War in 1783, it played host to General George Washington’s famed farewell dinner for his officers.

Continuing on to a photo op at the Stock Exchange on Wall Street, we stopped to eat on this cute-as-can-be street. I worked on Wall Street until Septemeber 11th and this walk made me realize how much I miss this rich and historied part of my city.

Fortified we continued through downtown and made our way into Chinatown. I love Chinatown. It always make me feel like I have left NYC and made it to another country and I did all all on foot. I do not mean the Chinatown of Canal Street, oh no, I mean East Broadway and Catherine and way under the bridges Chinatown. It's stinky and crowded and glorious. And cheap. The fish is the freshest; you choose it swimming and they cut the head off for you. The produce is beautiful and strange and everything seems to be $1. It may not be organic, but maybe it is and with prices like this, it's hard for me to care.

It makes me have fantasies of putting a wicker basket on my bike and heading down every Saturday morning to do my Chinese food shopping, hitting the Farmer's Market on the way back home and spending the weekend cooking. Must Buy Wicker Bicycle Basket.

Armed with three different types of Bubble Tea, we carried on through NoLiTa and the East Village before collasping on the couch.

By dinner time we were ready to go again and made our way to the MeatPacking District for dinner here, which was made even more lovely because they were able to seat us outside, it was a gorgeous evening AND they had strawberry shortcake.

The rest of the evening was spent pouring over boxes of photos from the past and getting more than a little teary-eyed. That's the thing about the past, no matter how great it was, it's never coming back.

Friends like H are priceless and I am incredibly blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. Now if they would just stop leaving NYC....

3 BFP's in the IVP!

2008-07-01T15:52:00.003-04:00

Be sure to go on over to Joulybean
Romancing the Stork and veeandjay for a Congrats and send lots of lovely sticky thoughts their way!

Pride (in the Name of Vegetables)

2008-06-29T23:44:00.000-04:00

That’s a U2 reference I couldn’t resist.

So, we DID go to the Dyke march, the sun came out and we rallied and as soon as the march started the skies opened and within 10 blocks my white pants were ruined and most of the marchers were huddled under scaffolding—which fortunately in this case lines many sidewalks of NYC.

Calling it an “A for Effort”, we hopped on a bus home, ordered sushi for dinner and watched a documentary on education in the Baltimore school system (which sparked a serious discussion on adoption) and went to bed. It was a CRAZY night (ha ha).

After yoga on Sunday, we had every intention to go to the parade and join in some festivities, but a relative showed up at the last minute for brunch and took priority. By the time we could go, the skies had opened again and we said forget it.

We spent the rest of the day cooking new recipes using all of our vegetables from our co-op farm share (swiss chard, peas, garlic scapes, beets, kale, lettuce) making a healthy, huge dinner:

Sautéed garlic scapes, beet greens, swiss chard
Risotto w/ parmesan and fresh peas
Roasted beets chilled and served w/ a vinaigrette
Chicken breast sautéed w/ white white and herbs
Strawberry shortcake made from Mrs. Wilkes Boardinghouse cookbook.

DELISH!

Mama's on Drugs

2008-06-28T12:12:00.004-04:00

Went in bright and early for Day 2 tests.

The results are in! The blood levels are excellent: FSH, 5.8 E2, 35

I am a happy lady right now!

While there I was able to talk to the RE on duty. I really liked him and he agreed that I 'could' do this next cycle natural with a trigger shot.

However, (and my what a month can make) since I'm now 39 he would like to see me get aggressive. If I were 33, he would not be pushing drugs on me since my body is totally doing everything it is supposed to be doing. But, I'm not 33, I don't have the luxury of time on my side and he'd like to see if Clomid can help me.

We talked about scary multiples, my body size (I'm 5'2 and 105 lbs) and how it was a risk, but a small one.

He stated what I have heard from two other RE's now which is that you should only stay on Clomid for three cycles as the effectiveness decreases rapidly after this.

I've got an RX for Clomid 50mg now and I'll take them on days 5-9 and go in for my new bloodwork and Ultrasound on Day 11.

I'll do this for at least 2 cycles if not 3 and then it's either injectable or IVF. I know I said I'd do IVF after 6 IUI's total and I am still leaning in that direction...but I can't think about that right now.

I've got to try this first and put my faith in that direction.

We also talked about back to back IUI's and his thought is that those are not any more effective than one with a well-timed (trigger) IUI. Hmm...things to ponder indeed as we were thinking we would do two IUI's with the last of the "Seth" sperm this cycle.

First thing K said when I got home and told her the news? "Is this going to make you really moody again?" Hee Hee. "Yeah, maybe." "OK, honey, just checking". Poor thing!

We were going to go to the Dyke March...but it just started raining. I'm not enough of a lesbian to march in the RAIN. So, off we go to the gym, then make dinner with some of our farm co-op veggies and watch a movie at a friend's house.

Shakespeare in the Park, Day 1

2008-06-27T23:07:00.003-04:00

AF arrived bright and early Friday morning, so no beach.

I was expecting monster cramps and while they were worse than normal, it wasn't so bad.

My RE hasn't gotten back to me as he's out today, but I talked to a nurse and we agreed that I should come in tomorrow for Day 2 testing of my FSH and E2. I haven't had it done since March and just want to make sure that all of my levels are checking out OK. If they are too high, I might as well cancel the cycle.

She also told me I could have a chat with another RE on duty when I came in. Quite frankly, I am excited to get a second opinion as I feel like I'm at a crossroad and I don't know which way to go.

Last night I met some friends out on the Upper West Side for drinks and tapas before heading off to Central Park's Delacorte Theatre for Shakespeare in the Park.

Oh William! Why 3.5 hours long?? But, the setting outside was gorgeous as was the play, Hamlet.

It's amazing to be smack dab inside Manhattan but feel like you're in a forest in the country.

Wonderful.

These productions are free, but the catch is that you must start standing in line early in the morning (we're talking 6am) to get the free tix.

Luckily, my friend Mme X, apparently knows someone in the Shakespeare mafia who got us tix for $25--a price I will gladly pay to not stand in line!