Dispatches from the Island

The also rans II: Puppy Mills

2009-07-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

Don't worry folks I have no intention of buying a dog from a pet shop.

(Of course I had no intention when I bought Nunu either.)

But, truth be told I wasn't really at risk of buying these other dogs when I saw them.

For one thing I have a dog. I don't need another.

Also these dogs were boys.

And I can't scratch a boy dog's belly.

Because of the "lipstick."

The also rans

2009-07-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

In 2005 I was looking to get a dog. The plan was to rescue one from the Humane Society in Hawaii. But then I popped into a pet shop in Ewa Beach and saw this:

I said to myself "Aw crap! I just bought a dog!"

So these things don't necessarily go as we plan them.

I'm not in the market for another dog although I do like to check them out when I stop into pet shops to get liver treats or another toy for Nunu to destroy.

And I have to admit I've come really close to taking these guys home as well.

You will get nothing AND LIKE IT!

2009-06-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

I think the hotel may have read my earlier blog post.

Because the next time I stayed there, the cds were gone.

Saw a black widow spider in my parent's recycling bin.

2009-06-23T13:20:00.000-07:00

So I recycled a phone book on it.

New York Trip: Last Post

2009-06-22T19:36:00.001-07:00

So when I was in New York I also got to meet up with Michael Emerson. In fact we even got to be on The View together.

We had dinner at this great little restaurant called Joe Allen.

He told me that all of the posters on the wall came from musicals that closed almost immediately after opening.

The funniest thing for me was how tiny the restroom was.

Now I've been to a restroom that was so small that I had to step around the toilet to close the door.

But you literally rotate from the toilet to the sink.

And then rotate back to get a towel.

That is small.

Dear Kubrick,

2009-06-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

You know you did a good job on the likeness when the face recognition software on my new computer can identify Dom and I.

The Best. Period.

2009-06-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

Whenever I am in New York there is one place I must visit EVERY TIME.

And that one place is

2005. It was my first Upfronts.

Burky took me there to try the best burger I have ever had. Period.

And it still is.

Burky and I have gone there whenever we've found ourselves in New York together.

When we went to New York to promote the McFarlane toys in 2006, we took Greg Grunberg there and made him a believer.

I know people have their favorite burgers out there. And that's great. But if you ever want the best. Go here.

If you get the burger there, get it how they make it. Just a plain cheeseburger. Don't put ketchup on it. Just take a bite. Trust me it doesn't need anything. The burger and bun will melt in your mouth.

This last trip I introduced my buddy Rian to it.

I was so anxious I took a bite before I remembered that I had wanted to take a picture of it for the blog.

I was more patient the next time.

So... where do you put the candles?

2009-06-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

If you Google the word "cake" and then click on images.

The second image you get is this:

Creepy huh?

P.S. No, I don't usually Google things like "cake." Beth sent me the link actually. I think she's Googling "candy" now.

Fallon has Weird Knobs

2009-06-14T18:15:00.000-07:00

Man I'm still blogging about my New York trip in May.

So the purpose of the trip was to do Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,

where I also got to meet the Lonely Island guys who were on the same show as me.

Also to my surprise his stage manager used to be my neighbor when we were little.

But this is about my dressing room.

When I got in I noticed this knob.

This is what I do. When I go into a new room or house I want to know what all of the switches on the wall do.

I couldn't figure out what it was for so I followed it up the wall

where I found this other knob.

Now this knob is in a speaker in the ceiling. So if it's to control anything, only the tall or exceptionally long armed (law men and gorillas) can adjust it.

It turned out that both of them don't do anything anymore.

They may have been to control the volume on what's going on onstage. But that is merely a best guess.

I Have A New TV

2009-06-13T10:33:00.000-07:00

Yes I have returned to civilization.

Having the luxury of television on this side of the island has taken it's toll on the TV's internal system of boards and wires. And with all of the corrosion inside it would only be a matter of time before the next thing broke on it. So in a way it's good, that two things went wrong within 24 hours of each other. Because the repair man removed everything he put in the last time, took the whole visit as a wash, and said that I was better off replacing the TV.

So I headed out to Hawaii's last remaining electronics superstore. This was a pretty eye-opening experience. For one thing, to get a TV like the one I had to toss at the transfer station, I would pay over a $1,000 dollars less and get more HDMI inputs than I have stuff to put into them. This is important to remember for next time the TV breaks after the service agreement expires. I was still basing my repair budget on the old price, not the replacement price. That was stupid.

The most important thing for me was to get something that I could take home that day. I got it home connected everything. And turned it on. It took a second. A second I wasn't prepared for. I almost lost it. Then it clicked on. Whew!

Learning a new television is like learning a new language. What was second nature now requires grabbing another remote control. I have some reprogramming to do. Cross your fingers.

That's an odd bench

2009-06-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of me sitting on the lap of this statue at one of the entrances to Central Park.

If you think this is easy check out where he keeps his sword.

Go See The Brothers Bloom

2009-06-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I told you I went to high school with Rian Johnson.

Well I did. But that's not why you should see his new movie The Brothers Bloom.

It's damn good. Trust me I went there looking for something not to like. Something I could go back to him with, to offer my critique. I didn't find anything.

And I was stoked to see that it was playing in Hawaii. I went immediately, because I didn't have a chance to see it in Los Angeles.

I got a chance to hang out with Rian in New York when I was there for the Jimmy Fallon Show. He happened to be there at the same time giving talks and premiering his movie.

This was a little weird for me. I mean I've hung out in New York as a grown up. I've hung out with people I went to high school with. But both at the same time... felt... weird. (It's okay I got over it. )

By the way if you haven't seen his other movie Brick. Netflix it. It's fantastic.

Lost: One Shoe

2009-06-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

Well I've been home for a week now. And I guess it's time to quit denying it.

Somewhere in my travels I lost the other pair to this shoe.

So if you happen to be in a hotel in Munich, Madrid, New York, or Beverly Hills.

Or if you happen to be staying at my parents' house and you see a shoe that looks just like this one, only lefty, it's mine.

Maybe I left it at the Emerson's when I stayed at their place.

I'm pretty sure I wore both shoes repeatedly when I was visiting my parents so I think Europe is a long shot.

It has to be in California or Hawaii. (Good, that narrows it down.)

Either way. I can't work with one shoe. I'll hold onto it a little longer, just in case (Michael? Mom?) but then that's it.

Damn! I can't believe I lost a shoe. I mean what am I? A four year old?

Man! It feels like the olden days.

2009-06-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

So the TV broke like a week ago. The big one in the living room. The "good one." The one that all the cool stuff is connected to. Broken. So I moved it aside until I could get someone to come over and fix it. And I grabbed the TV out of the studio and brought it into the living room.

Something we didn't take into account is how far away the couch is from the much smaller television. It was so hard to read the listings on the cable guide.

But last Friday a technician came out and replaced the lamp. Hmm... not the problem. He replaced the ballast. (Whatever that is.) Looks good. He closed the TV and went on his way. I moved the "B Team" television back to the studio. This is not an easy heft. The whole time doing that quickstep thing you do when you're about to drop something heavy while Beth makes sure the doors are open and all steps are clear.

Sunday, the TV won't turn on. Damn.

Life at home without TV is odd for me. It kinda feels like vacation when you go to a country where there is no TV in the room or you have no reason to watch it because you don't understand anything. Actually that's not right, I still watch anyway because you never know when you might see something crazy on foreign TV.

Life without TV is borderline camping.

It's pitiful really. Without TV I'm finding myself going to bed way earlier than I normally would. I try reading in bed but it just puts me to sleep. So I fall asleep way too early. Which only makes me wake up way too early. I hate waking up so early that I still set off the motion sensor outside when I walk by.

The dog won't even wake up that early. I mean she'll humor me and go outside and pee. But then she goes back to the bed. And I'm wide awake. With the internet.

Okay. Maybe it's not the olden days then. But it has it's "old timey" moments.

It's been two days... I think I'm going to have to poach the telly from the studio again.

Central Park Zoo TOO

2009-06-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

So here's the rest of the zoo pics.

There are four snakes in this enclosure. I think it was two tree boa constrictors and two ground boa constrictors.

They share the enclosure with a single gecko.

Who appears to spend most of his time at the tippy top of the tree trunk.

That's as far away as he can get.

There were a few shared enclosures I thought were pretty funny. Like they keep bats together with alligators. This keeps the bats flying which is what the people want to see.

This is the enclosure for the Golden Lion Headed Tamarin.

It's a little tricky to spot, but one of these branches is not real. Look closely.

I love these turkeys.

It looks like they were hit in the head with a cartoon hammer.

(I had to google that picture because you can't quit make out the bump on mine.)

We had to push the kids aside to get this picture.

We tried to wait for our turn, but the other kids weren't playing by that rule. I blame their parents.

Central Park Zoo

2009-06-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

I visited the Central Park Zoo with a couple of friends.

The star of this place is Gus a GINORMOUS polar bear.

He shares the enclosure with Ida who slept most of the time.

By the way if you find yourself sleeping on a bar mat, you'll get more cushion if you fold it and double it up.

I have no real proof, but I believe this is their toilet.

New York Trip

2009-06-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

So I went to New York a few weeks ago to do Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

They put me up at Le Parker Meridien. This was a very entertaining hotel.

First off, check out this key.

It's huge! I kept whipping it out to show my friends because I'd never seen a key that big. Is this supposed to make it harder to lose or easier, because it's not like I can fit this into my wallet for safe keeping now.

These are the glasses in the bathroom.

These are also the kind of glasses used for tequila shooters in Cancún. But here you can rinse your toothpaste out with them.

The Laundry form was written like a police report.

"Your clothes are so dirty it's a crime"

And the room service menu has a whole page dedicated to food for your pets.

Which also includes a CD of "mood music" for them.

I liked staying in this hotel. And they serve the best breakfast in New York here.

This has nothing to do with the hotel, but when I got to the hotel I noticed I had a silvery gray mark on my thumb.

Don't know what I rubbed up against to do that. And I was able to wash it off. But I found it to be mysterious. Did I thumb wrestle one of those silver painted robot street performers?

Fox Studio Murals

2009-06-04T01:35:00.000-07:00

I love when I have meetings at FOX because they have these great murals painted on the sides of their stages.

These are a few I snapped quickly when I went to my appointment there.

The Oxbow Incident

The Seven Year Itch
The Simpsons and The Empire Strikes Back.

Pretty sweet huh?

Fabulous! We Broke a Thousand!

2009-05-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

Wow. My followers number has just passed a thousand.

Thanks everybody.

To celebrate here's a picture of my friend's dog Mr. Fabulous.

(Don't let the name fool you, Fab is a girl dog.)

Here she is doing that trick where you humiliate the dog by placing food on their face before they're allowed to eat it.

The saddest part however is in the next moment, Fab is going to discover that she does not like pickles.

How cool is this?

2009-05-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who sent the link. (You can stop now btw.)

And a special thanks to Dean for the tribute.

Well well well

2009-05-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

So the New Zealand news people found my rebuttal.

I was just rereading my earlier post. I hope I didn't insult them when I asked if they were a real news show. I was just wondering if it was a legitimate news show or a comedy news show like The Daily Show.

What?!

2009-05-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

This just came up on my Google alerts.

If you click, there is video too.

Actor Jorge Garcia celebrated his 36th birthday with Lost cast mates. They gave him a special gift: an iPod toilet paper holder, plus his very own plus-size toilet seat cushion with his name printed on it. Apparently Garcia has been complaining about the rock-hard loos on set.

Is this a real news show?

Do they really think that it's true?

Does an iPod TP holder actually exist?

Wow! I guess it does.

For the record I celebrated my birthday with a couple friends at Manna Korean BBQ.

But I didn't mention it was my birthday.

Because they douse your head with champagne there.

I don't even remember this picture

2009-05-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

I was going through some pictures of the dog while I'm at my parents' house.

And I came across this one.

It's from last Thanksgiving. I don't remember it at all.

But it's quickly become one of my favorites.

I have no clue what to do with Bread Fruit

2009-05-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

So I've seen bread fruit at the store many times. I had no idea how to pick it or what to do with it. I figured maybe when I got it home and cut into it it would all seem clear.

Nope.

No help here. This is not like any fruit I've ever come across.

(Not like any bread I've come across either.)

I looked up on the internet. Usually people bake it.

Well I'm not sold on it yet.

C'mon People Fix Your Menu

2009-05-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

It funny keeping this blog. Because I can't tell you how many times something happens to me that I can't wait to share. Like when we stayed at the Westin Pasadena the weekend of my buddy's wedding.

The hotel was fine. The room service the first day was incredible. (Try the tomato soup if they have it.) There was nothing I was compelled to write about until breakfast the next day.

This is what I ordered.

This is what I got.

Does something seem wrong here? I had to pull out the menu to double check if I had misread it. I envisioned an egg white omelet that actually had the broccoli diced into it. So I called down.

This is what I love, their first answer was that since we had ordered the oatmeal with the stuff on the side that the kitchen probably assumed we would also want the broccoli on the side?

Honestly?!

They were going to refire the order the right way as it is written in the menu. Great.

Then they called back and said. That after conferring with the kitchen she was told that this is how the omelet comes. The broccoli is always on the side. So I said, "You do realize that that is not what the menu says right?"

Of course she had to agree. There is no argument here. I mean maybe if it had read "with cheddar and broccoli" you could almost make the argument that the broccoli had nothing to do with the omelet.

They still offered to make it the way it's described but at this point it would take too long get it, so I passed.

I wonder what their macaroni and cheese looks like?