explorers, friends, and little monsters

things to do besides watching TV

2009-04-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

Gio is becoming more and more interested in t.v. these days and it's freaking me out- so i'm putting ideas of things we can do together on individual pieces of paper in a box. from now on when he asks to watch dora or diego, i'll let him choose a random piece of paper from the box, and we'll do watever is on that piece of paper. i expect each day to be an adventure starting now.

here is the inital list of ideas that i came up with just now - please send me more, i will add them and you can be part of our fun.

make a 30 second movie about gio's feet
draw pictures of dinosaurs
make up a story about the first word that comes to mind
make a 30 second movie about the first word that comes to mind
take pictures of chui and mona
take pictures anything you want
make a 3 scene comic
look at the visual dictonary
play guitar
make a card for someone you love
go for a walk (even if it's raining)
dance party!

freddy forever

2008-12-16T12:50:00.001-08:00

my love for freddy is a quiet one - which is strange, given his flamboyance. he makes me strong and gives me permission to be myself -without guilt, apologies, or any second guessing.
thank you freddy. i miss you.

an ongoing list of things i like

2008-11-13T14:34:00.000-08:00

garage sales
flea markets
an afternoon beer
pictionary
avocados
audio books
the smell of old volkswagons
number 2 pencils
driving old cars
ponzu
giovanni
dance routines

dear mike

2008-11-13T09:52:00.001-08:00

my birthday is quickly approaching and i thought i would give you some ideas of what you can get me, just in case you were wondering. i'll add items here as i think of them, so bookmark this post and check back regularly. i love you and promise to act surprised.

#1 gift idea: a Garmin running watch

Faber-Castell Perfect Pencil Set

Louis Vuitton Monogram Desk Agenda Cover

Nike+iPod Kit for Running

The Gentle Art of Domesticity

New Running Shoes

37°51′50″N 122°34′53″W / 37.863804, -122.581336

2008-10-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

mike, gio and i are headed to the san francisco next weekend, so i've been combing through memories for places to show gio and i cant stop thinking abour muir beach. it was my church between the ages of 18 and 28 - the place i would go to think, ground myself, and get away from everything. a small magical place where anything became possible - there's even a zen center right next door. i cant wait to show gio.

2008-10-28T12:49:00.000-07:00

is it possible to long for something you already have?

2008-09-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

i know i am genetically programmed to love this little boy, but this is insane! gio makes my insides melt any my mind go buggy. it's like a (platonic) teenage love affair without the fear of rejection - he consumes me and the best part is that he has no choice but to love me back....

breaking away

2008-09-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

i rode 15 miles from seattle to issaquah this saturday. i left the house at 5:45am and was home by 9am , just in time to make pancakes for gio.

the ride was mostly on trails with lots of bushes and trees. for a while i pretended like i was in the movie breaking away, specifically the scene pictured above - i love that movie. anyways, i pretended to be the kid in that movie until i heard raccoons in the trees and became convinced that one of them was going to jump on my head.

irrational fears can always ruin a great fantasy.

secret life

2008-08-26T11:30:00.001-07:00

i was never mexican enough to be a chola - the cute chicano boys in school always called me a weda. the closest i ever got is dating gangster boys that wore tres flores and listening to do-wop on my car's am radio.

history in the making

2008-08-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

mike proposed to me on my 27th birthday.

he set a small card table with linens and proper table settings (like we were at a fancy restaurant) for a takeout meal from my favorite restaurant in berkeley, breads of india.

when time for gifts came, he totally delivered, starting with ELO's Out of the Blue before moving on to a proper proposal complete with bended knee and heirloom ring.

yesterday marks our 9 year wedding anniversary. i have no idea where that ELO cd is now, but i still love them and mike more than ever.

blah blah blog

2008-07-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

i feel like i never have anything to say anymore

and i will be the next zola budd

2008-07-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

i made the bold decision today to run 2 half marathons over the next year - writing it here makes it real and will hold me accountable.

when training i am going to pretend that i am zola budd, running cross country in the '84 olympics - and when i cross the finish line of each race, i will stretch my arms out as if to break the ribbon - and the crowds (mike and gio) will cheer at my victory.

Seattle Half Marathon: Sunday, November 30, 2008
Mercer Island Half Marathon: March 22, 2009

let the promises we make to ourselves be our most important

2008-06-20T13:19:00.001-07:00

trying to pinpoint exactly when things went wrong

2008-06-10T11:52:00.000-07:00

if i had to do it all over again

2008-06-08T13:56:00.001-07:00

i would learn how to dance like chris brown

i am no interpreter of dreams: this can't be good

2008-06-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

dream #1: i am somewhere i shouldn't be, doing something i shouldn't be doing - and my car gets stolen

dream #2: i am in a meeting at work and i am preoccupied by the thought that i need micro-dermabrasion because i am getting old and my skin is getting grainy.. every time i break though the preoccupation and have something to say, i edit myself and stay quiet

sometimes you suck, but i still love you

2008-05-30T14:59:00.000-07:00

i hate that you get to sleep in until noon and i have to wake up at 7am and that you still complain about being tired even though you get to take naps in the afternoon. sometimes i think you leave the cooking spray out just to prove that i am not the boss of you. i wish you told me that i was pretty more often and that you made enough money for me to quit my job.

the luckiest girl in the world

2007-11-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

this morning when gio nuzzled his head into my chest and slowly fell asleep, i realized that the sound of my heart beating makes him calm and quite. it's like he is remembering where he came from as he listens to the machine that made him hum, squish, beat and breath.

these are the good old days

2007-11-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

lost and found

2007-10-23T11:18:00.000-07:00

today i woke up feeling sad that i can not pick up and go to paris by myself for a month and get lost; walking for hours, cafe creme, wine and fresh fruit, mute on the outside but screaming with ideas on the inside. this lack of freedom does not come without gigantic reward, but it makes me sad none the less. the thing that strikes me most is that it's not a lazy apathetic kind of sad, rather it's hungry and urgent - like the feeling that you've lost your wallet and if you look hard enough you might still be able to find it. maybe i will.

show

2007-10-18T10:51:00.001-07:00

i have an art show at the neighborhood caffe next month. i'm excited but nervous. it will be like i am naked in public having them there for all to see every morning when i get my americano.

the adventures of giovanni

2007-09-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

i had a dream last night that giovanni became an inventor. he didn't wait until he grew up, he began inventing toys and small items as a boy and moved on to larger items as he grew older.

inspired, in awe, and a little dissapointed

2007-09-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

christopher silas neil makes beautiful art that makes me feel inspired and in awe of his visual charm and aesthetic prowess(http://www.redsilas.com/). along with these positive feelings is a feeling of dissapointment, in myself, a dissapointment that stems from the realization that i am not living up to my potential and that i spend too much time watching tv and not enough time honing a craft.

i heart werner

2007-09-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

i've had a mad crush on werner herzog for the last ten years or so. it's not because i like the movies he directs, because i don't (for the most part i think they are boring), but i've seen a couple documentaries on him that made me stop and take notice. for me it's all about him as a person; the way he talks, the things he says. sometimes i think he must be kidding with some of the stuff he says, but then i think he must be serious (because he is german).

i like the way men looked when they were dressing "sporty" in the early 80's. werner oozed style in that period; safari chic, with short shorts and a headband, and he topped it all off with a fantastic moustache (remember when moustaches weren't ironic). check out "my best fiend" and you'll see what i mean about him.

rebel poet, liar

2007-09-07T14:43:00.000-07:00

i usually tell people that i was a decent speller before spell check, but i am pretty sure this is a big fat lie. often my initial spelling for words is so bad that even spellcheck does not catch the misspelled word to recommend the correct spelling. and forget about grammar, while i really enjoy using semi colons and commas, i am certain that i am breaking all the rules.

the truth is, i like to think of myself as a rebel poet when it comes to the written language, but that is just so i don't have to face the fact that i am really just ignorant and haven't taken the time to master the rules of my first language. i spent high school getting stoned and watching soap operas instead of studying english - now i know why they never say "when are you ever going to use english in the real world" like they say about algebra. this all reminds me of my favorite cher song "if i could turn back time"...