Sophia's Journey Continues!

Sophia & Ted's birthday

2008-10-05T21:04:00.004-04:00

Here's Sophia and Daddy, at one of our favorite restaurants, the Ninety Nine (it's a New England thing). Ted thinks Sophie looks like she just stepped off the Partridge Family bus. Sophie still loves her Daddy with all her heart; that hasn't changed a bit.

Sophia is going to pre-k at our local elementary school, 5 days a week in the afternoons. I drop her at school (and then go to work), and she comes home on the regular bus with her big brother Noah. She's just plain big, this girl. She loves pre-k. She gets off at her Nan & Papa's house (w/brother), and stays there till Ted gets out of work (usually just a couple hours).

Ted just turned 41 on Friday, and Sophia turns 4 on the 9th. She's having a 'Camp Rock' party, with mostly family, and a couple friends. She's 4 going on 14. She loves that movie, and sings all the songs. She does all the dances too - I'll have to get the video camera out and get her on video signing at the top of her lungs. It's too cute, if I do say so myself.

Okay, I've been away from blogland for awhile, but that's okay. Things have been busy, and the break has done me good - I was spending much too much time on the computer, getting caught up in everyone's lives. There are a few blogs I miss, and will get back to checking you out very soon, I promise. I do have to cut back, after all, I'm a working woman now! :)

Hope you are all well. Life is good up here in Maine.

p.s. the ground was white with frost this morning... brrrrr! Winter's coming!

I'm really okay...

2008-09-21T13:10:00.002-04:00

I'm alive and well! So sorry I haven't posted for such a long time. Lots going on.

- I started work, full-time.
- Ted & Noah flew to Miami to drive a truck back home.
- We started AWANA.
- Momma guinea hatched 10 baby keets, and 8 are still alive and kicking, in fact they're flying now.
- Sophia's in pre-k, Mon - Friday in the afternoons, she loves it. She rides the bus home with Noah every day, her pre-k is at the elementary school.
- Noah's in 3rd grade.
- Paige is only taking French 3 at the highschool, and is now 'homeschooling' (i.e. independent studies) at home.
- Life is crazy, but very good.

I will post pictures soon, I have been taking them, just don't have time right now to post.

Hope you're all well!

Update

2008-08-25T11:20:00.002-04:00

Okay, I've got you all curious, and I didn't mean to get you crazy like that! The big surprise isn't a pregnancy, adoption, or anything of the sort.

Every year Paige and I drive to NH, get a hotel for a couple nights, and do school shopping. It's a girl thing, and we really enjoy it.

This year, we headed south, but didn't go to NH like Paige thought we were going to do. Instead we drove to the Boston airport, and boarded a plane to Minnesota, to the Mall of America! Woo hoo! We're here, and having a blast. We're headed back to the mall shortly. I totally pulled it off, and she was confused and surprised.

I will post pictures upon my return, and give you the details. I just couldn't keep you guys thinking that it was BIG news, that wouldn't have been fair! It was a big surprise and secret to Paige, and to other people that thought we were just going to NH as usual.

p.s. Midwest airline rocks - they bake and serve warm chocolate chip cookies during the flight! Can you even believe that? Love it!

BIG SECRET

2008-08-23T12:27:00.000-04:00

I've been keeping a big secret from my family and friends. It's a good secret, really it is. I couldn't tell- I couldn't take a chance in the wrong person finding out.

I will reveal very soon, I promise!

Sophie's Ride

2008-08-19T20:29:00.003-04:00

I haven't had much time to post, but here's a cute picture of Sophia and 'Blue' in the back of the new Volvo wagon. It's red, and has the third, rear facing seat. Sophia and Noah only get to sit in it when it's necessary.

Saturday Paige and I take off for a few days for our annual NH shopping trip. I'm looking forward to it. She's a sophomore this year, hard to believe.

The kids start school September 2nd, and that's when I should be starting my new job. I've been busy getting ready for the new AWANA year (I'm the club secretary), and just getting stuff organized at home.

Oh, and I ditched the blackberry, and got a STRAWBERRY (see earlier post). (A red blackberry). It matches my Volvo 240 wagon. I'm a happy girl. :)

Busy, busy!

2008-08-14T08:53:00.001-04:00

First, thank you all for your kind words. It has been hard. I should mention that Noah and Sophia don't know that Diesel is dead, we didn't see the need to upset them. I wouldn't expect anyone that we know to say anything, but just in case - thought I'd mention it.

We've disconnected the home internet, so I'm typing this on the Blackberry. LOVE IT BTW. But, I can't seem to leave comments for people. Please know I'm still reading and following. If anyone has a Blackberry and has figured out how to leave comments, I'd love to know... Thanks!

So, a few things have been going on. Here's the summary:

Sold the Volvo.

Bought another Volvo, one year newer, less than 1/2 the miles, always been garaged and extremely well maintained. It's RED.

Sophia starts pre-K September 2nd. She'll be going 5 days a week in the afternoon, at the elementary school Noah goes to. I'll take her, and she'll ride the bus home with big brother.

Noah's going into 3rd grade- Paige is a Sophomore this year.

Paige and I are going for our yearly school shopping/girls weekend trip to NH next weekend. Sophia will stay home with DH and Noah this year.

I'm going back to work, when the kids start school. I got the job I wanted, and the hours are perfect. I'll have mornings with Sophia, drop her at school then head to work. The pay is good, and the benefits are amazing.

We're down to three adult guineas, and three babies (getting big!). Momma hen is sitting on 12 eggs this time, we'll see...

I'll post some cute pics soon, promise!

RIP Diesel

2008-08-10T20:03:00.003-04:00

Diesel was put to sleep by his new owners this morning. I'm devastated.

The dog trainer had talked with them at length, as did we, before we let them take him. They did seem like they 'got it', and would be diligent, keeping him on a leash or penned when company came over. A few days after they'd had him he called to say things were going better than expected, he was so sweet, and even got along great with the cat. He said he'd introduced him to friends, and it went well. They couldn't have been more pleased. I cautioned him to continue to be diligent, and that 99.9% of the time Diesel was sweet and wonderful, but when he got spooked, he could still bite. He told me of all the places they'd taken him with no problems. I reminded him he's a dog that you can't take everywhere. When I got off the phone I told Ted I was nervous, as it seemed they were getting over confident and letting their guard down.

I guess my 'women's intuition' was right. They took him to camp with his parents, and thought that because they introduced Diesel properly, all would be fine. It wasn't. Diesel bit his mother on the hand. (The trainer thinks she walked into his 'space' and it scared him.) She was walking by and Diesel was laying there with his new master (of only a week) and he got her. He called DH last night and told him what happened. He said if we wouldn't take him back, he was probably going to put him down. I didn't hear the whole conversation, but I heard Ted tell him we'd get in touch with the trainer (& animal behaviorist) and see if he had another option (maybe could place him?) When the trainer called us today, Ted called him back and Diesel was already dead.

I'm furious and hurting so much. If I had known this, I would have gone and gotten him myself last night. He didn't deserve to die. He's not vicious. He's sooo wonderful, gentle and sweet with the family he's with. He's suspicious of strangers, and a little nervous to boot. All he needed was someone that cared enough about him to not take a chance with strangers. The dog trainer said the new owner shouldn't have introduced him to people like that, and shouldn't have taken him out and about so soon. They got overconfident, and screwed up. The trainer told him, & we told him.

Now Diesel's dead.

Get it right, newspeople... AKA How to pronounce Beijing

2008-08-08T16:00:00.002-04:00

Need a good cry?

2008-08-07T09:21:00.002-04:00

CLICK HERE.

Stephen Curtis Chapman's first tv interview after the death of his daughter.
Thank you Nicole for sending, I had missed it on TV yesterday morning.
(There's a short commercial before the video starts...)

A Relaxing Day...

2008-08-05T08:51:00.008-04:00

Today (okay, it was actually July 17th, when our friends from Alabama were still here) was a relaxing day. Ted, Harry and Noah went to Belgrade to visit our Diesel boy in captivity, and had a *sweet* picnic by a river (can you say MALE BONDING?). Nicole and I took the rest of the gang (minus Paige) into Hallowell for lunch, and then to the Christmas Tree Shop. (it's a New England thing). Go to NICOLE'S BLOG to see more cute pics and get more details.

Lunch at our favorite local Chinese restaurant.

Gracie gets silly with her fortune!

Nicole was so sweet to bring matching dresses for the girls. They were so cute!

Sophia didn't want any part of it, but Noah and Gracie had a blast on the water slide.

The water was ice cold - coming from deep within the well.

Harrison enjoyed getting his feet wet at the bottom of the slide.

What else did we do, Nicole? We went to Isamax for 'world famous' whoopie pies, right? (you may have seen them on Oprah's show) Oh, my memory... good thing I've got all these pictures to remember!

Each morning and evening we spent on the porch, swinging, talking and relaxing. Good times.

Porch Cuteness

2008-08-03T08:34:00.000-04:00

Day 2

2008-07-30T09:15:00.008-04:00

Today was a busy day. We started out at the ER for Harrison, then went to Shaw's for lobster. Next was the puffin cruise. After the puffin cruise we went to Pemaquid Point until it was dusk. Go to NICOLE'S BLOG to read more details, and see more pictures. She's much better at posting details than I am!

The view of the lighthouse from the rocks, Pemaquid Point, Maine

The girls watching the waves crashing against the rocks

Paige grabs the moon

Pemaquid Point, Maine. This is what was making Nicole a little nervous... Be careful guys!

"Ted, you want me to put my finger WHERE?"

When we got off the Puffin boat, Sophia was complaining about the 'fishy' smell. It is a working dock, where they unload the lobster boats, and it was pretty stinky. This is what Sophia does when she smells something stinky. She didn't remove her fingers from her nose until we left the area.

I love this picture. This was at Shaw's, and Sophia was sitting on her Daddy's lap. Gracie came over and gave him a hug, and Sophia grabbed him just a little tighter. I guess she didn't want Gracie to forget whose Daddy he was! :)

Blackberry and Strawberry

2008-07-29T15:41:00.002-04:00

Right now I'm sitting on my front porch, enjoying the beautiful, sunny, cool, breezy day. The pups are laying by my feet, and the porch swings are swaying in the breeze.

This is my first post from my new blackberry. I'm loving it.

Sophia is so cute, and said when she gets bigger she's getting a strawberry. That kid cracks me up!

Alabama to Maine... Day 1 & 2

2008-07-28T21:34:00.007-04:00

Okay, if you're anything like me, it's all about the pictures. I'll put those first, and then you can read the (boring) details! Go see NICOLE'S BLOG, she's got even better photos and comments from the trip. I picked a few different pictures that I liked also.

Isn't this boy so handsome???

It was hard to believe he wasn't feeling well with a fever, he was so good natured!

The girls in their matching dresses, holding hands walking back from the water to their Daddies.

Noah shows Gracie a hermit crab he found in the ocean

Bathtime!

We had been anxiously awaiting the day they would arrive. I cleaned parts of the house that hadn't been cleaned in awhile. I baked a cheesecake. I stocked the fridge with their favorite beverages. I was simmering a home-made spaghetti sauce when I got the call. It was DH. He was heading back from the Boston airport with Harry, Nicole, Gracie and Harrison. He broke down in the minivan in New Hampshire on the way home with them. They pushed it off the highway (wish I had a picture of that!) and he asked me to head south to rescue them. They were 1 1/2 hours away. I borrowed the in-law's minivan, (loaded with an alternator and tools) and headed south. I chuckled, as this was quite a way to welcome our guests.

Gracie is Sophia's friend from China. They lived in the same orphanage, and were born only days apart. I cannot even explain the bond we have with this family. We didn't know them before the adoption, but they feel so much like family to us. They're almost as crazy as we are I guess! ;)

After I arrived in NH, DH threw the new part on the minivan, and we were good to go. We made the rest of the trek home to Maine, and showed our guests to their fancy guest room. Okay, it's not a fancy guest room at all. We booted um... I mean Paige was willing to give up her room covered in Nick Jonas posters. We introduced them to Maggie (remember, Diesel went to the kennel). Harry did well not to engage in eye contact with Maggie (very important as she was trying, as if to say, 'come on, just give me a reason...') After a solid day, Harry earned Maggie's trust, and was able to pet her and make of her. Oh happy day.

That first night we sat on the porch and enjoyed just chatting. As I recall Nicole needed a blanket to cover up with, or was that the next morning? I guess her blood is thin from all that Alabama heat.

The next morning Ted was working, and we just took our time getting up and getting going. Harry played a few video games with Noah with the Wii, and we sat on the porch some more. It was so nice and relaxing not to have to rush out of the house to get somewhere.

When Ted got back, we headed to the Seadog Brewing Company in Brunswick, for lunch. It was a neat place, right on the river. They did have a beer sampler (even blueberry flavored!) but I don't think anyone enjoyed them. When all was said and done, the beer sampler was still full. The meal was good, and we headed to Bailey Island. It was nice and relaxing, and shopping at the gift shop was fun. I found out Harry is pretty particular about the rocks he collects, and the ones I found were never good enough for him. Nicole had fun finding sea glass. Turns out she could have just bought some in the gift shop, but finding it on your own is much more fun! We came back to the house for the spaghetti dinner that was supposed to be the previous night. We stuffed ourselves silly, and then sat on the porch to let it digest. Good times.

You should go see Nicole's blog CLICK HERE, she's also posting about their adventures here in Maine.

Extremely Cool

2008-07-27T21:13:00.003-04:00

Diesel Update - Lyme Disease

2008-07-25T11:16:00.010-04:00

EVENING UPDATE: Today he was wrestling with Maggie on the lawn, and even stole her toys away as usual. He's especially laid back though, and didn't even bark when a neighbor drove in and spoke with Ted. He just stood at the door (baby gate keeping him in) and wagged his tail. No barking, nothing. Tonight the vet said he's probably had it awhile (since spring would be his guess) since symptoms don't show that early.

Diesel left our home Saturday, July 12th. We paid $350 to have him kenneled with our dog trainer for a week. We had company coming, and DH made the decision he had to go. We placed ads in area newspapers, and the trainer was going to work with him that week and interview prospective new families to be sure they were the right fit.

Well, the trainer touched base with us during the week, and hadn't been able to get him out of his kennel (big kennel, not little bitty one). Diesel wouldn't let him near him. Oh great. Ted went out with our visiting friend Harry, (and Noah too), and visited with him, and let him out of the cage. Needless to say, he was over the moon excited to see Ted. They went for a long walk in the woods, and since Harry had never met him, they used him as a 'guinea pig' to see how Diesel would react to a stranger. He reacted just fine, and after their visit, he went back in the cage. Ted and I both felt sick about the whole thing. He went from sleeping on our bed and getting tons of love and attention, to being confined to a kennel, all alone. Outside, in the dark, he cried all night for nights. We got a call from a woman that was a possible candidate, and we were to meet her Saturday afternoon in town, to go out to meet him. She'd called back numerous times, very interested. We waited, and she never showed. There were no other calls that seemed promising. So, we went out to visit him, and with the expense of another $350 for the 2nd week, we brought him home. DH bought an extra sturdy kennel for here ($550), where he could go if company came, or such. I should also mention that the dog trainer told us he did nothing wrong, (yes, we told him everything) and is not overly aggressive, and that we should keep him, and just kennel him when company comes, just to be on the safe side.

So he's home, for now. Ted still says he has to go. The night he came home, he started limping. We figured since he wasn't very active that week, his muscles were lame, or he pulled a muscle getting in or out of the truck. We were wrong. The limp moved from the front leg, to the back leg. He went upstairs, and Ted had to carry him down the stairs in the morning. I blocked off the stairs, and slept downstairs with him for 3 nights. He cried out in pain during the nights, it was just terrible.

Diesel has lyme disease.

The interesting thing is that a friend of mine emailed me when she heard we were getting rid of him, and asked if I'd had him tested for lyme disease. What a strange question, I thought! Of course I hadn't (he hadn't had any symptoms). She explained that her boxer got it, and with it came aggression. Once he started treatment, he calmed down considerably. I still didn't connect the two, until Diesel got the other symptoms. I did some research on the internet, and sure enough, she was right. CLICK HERE. The behaviors that got Diesel into trouble, were within the past couple months. It is quite likely that the lyme disease is to blame for his change in behavior.

We've started him on the antibiotic (that he will need to be on for a whole month), and he is almost limp free, and is his happy, loving self again. He has his energy back.

Ted still says he needs to go. I don't agree, especially considering the lyme disease diagnosis.

I got a call from a guy that seems to be a good candidate. We'll work with the trainer and see if he in fact, is. Will he want a puppy with lyme disease? We'll just have to wait and see. I hope not.

Poor Diesel.

Friends Are Here...

2008-07-17T00:37:00.003-04:00

and we're having a blast. The weather has been beautiful here, and the girls are getting along great. So sad they can only stay a week! Tons more pics to come - this will just have to be a teaser for you! This was taken at Bailey Island, Maine.

What I'm up to...

2008-07-14T08:20:00.003-04:00

Puffin

Friends from Alabama are arriving today, to spend the week with us. They are dear friends we made on our trip to China. They've never been to Maine, so we'll be heading to the ocean, eating 'lob-stah', and going on a puffin cruise. I probably won't have time to check up on all my favorite blogs, or post. Check back next week to see all the fun we had this week!

This should take our minds off missing Diesel. Ted called to check on him last night (he's at the dog trainer's being kenneled, trained and then placed). He's not doing well at all. I feel sick to my stomach. We've got two weeks to place him, then the trainer is going back to Boston. He said we can leave him there (in an outside kennel, ALONE), and just go feed him every few days. What are we going to do if he isn't placed??? Diesel is so 'needy' and loves and needs to be made of and petted. He's alone in a kennel. This is so wrong. Maggie is moping around the house, and ate for the first time since Diesel left (Saturday morning) on Sunday night. We've been busy getting the house ready for company, and that has been helpful.

Here's to a new week with friends! :)

Goodbye my Friend.

2008-07-11T23:05:00.009-04:00

So big, but so gentle and cuddly sweet. I will miss you sitting on the floor in front of the couch, at Sophia's feet, with your head laying flat on the couch, watching her eat many a snack. I knew you wanted some, but you never took it.

When you did get something you shouldn't have in your mouth, I love how any of us could take it away from you (even Sophia) without a growl or a tug of war. You knew your place in this family, that's for sure.

Diesel. AKA Moose, Diesel Boy, My Big Handsome.

Oh my, how little and ADORABLE you were!

I'll miss you stealing bows off the tree at Christmas!

Maggie will miss her wrestling partner...

Ted will miss how you would wag your tail like crazy if he just LOOKED at you.

I will miss your lazy butt propped up on the couch.

I will NOT miss you chewing on my shoes...

Sophia will miss getting into mischief with you... (you sure smelled good that day!)

Sophia will miss your company out at the sandpile.
I will too - you were always watching over her.

So big and handsome!

I will miss you laying your big, warm neck over my feet on the end of the bed every night.

I will miss you following me downstairs every time I went down, no matter what.

I will miss sleeping so soundly when Ted was gone away, knowing you and Maggie made this the safest house in town.

I will miss your big head resting on the edge of the table, looking at the food.

You were so misunderstood. I'm so sorry Diesel.
We will miss you so much.
We love you.

Bailey Island, Maine

2008-07-07T14:50:00.008-04:00

I took the kids on a much needed get away Sunday to Bailey Island.
It was cooler down on the coast, overcast with mist and fog rolling in off the Atlantic.

Don'tcha just love Sophie's swimsuit? It's from LL Bean (Love their guarantee!) and it's so cute on her! It protects her from the sun so wonderfully (UPF 40). I just checked, and they marked them down 1/2 price! There are boys colors too.

The ocean water was COLD. It was probably only 70 degrees air temp, I couldn't dare guess what the water temp was. That didn't stop Noah from spending almost the whole time in the water, though! And of course, Sophia likes to do whatever her 'brudder' is doing...

The gang poses for a picture

And hams it up!

It was pretty foggy, you could hardly see the boats coming in while we were there.

Noah takes Sophia to find sea glass and shells

Look at this rock, Mom!

Cute Buns, or what?

Noah just loves the water!

Sophia digging in the sand/seaweed

Gracie, want to come play here with me? I'll share my toys...
How about NEXT WEEK?

Paige helps Sophie - that's Noah off to the right side of the picture

My beautiful girls

A fish in the water

I'm Angry. WARNING: Vent!

2008-07-05T15:46:00.011-04:00

Here's the abbreviated version.

We're getting rid of Diesel.

Yes, the big, brindle puppy.

He's an insecure puppy and is acting that way.

I'm devastated. I'm sad. I'm angry.

People have been gossiping.

Apparently there is a whole list of people that don't like our dog and don't want to come over. So don't come over. Problem solved.

It doesn't feel like the right decision at all.

I would like to consult with the behaviorist/trainer and make the right decision, based on facts.

I don't want anyone to be hurt either.

I also don't want to get rid of a dog that just needs a little training.

I suspect it's a socializing/training issue that could be fixed.

I guess I'll never know. It is our loss. He's not even an adult dog, and we've given up on him without trying. I'm so sorry, Diesel. I have tried so hard to be your advocate and the voice of reason. Diesel, you have been a wonderful family pet, and we love you.

I am angry and I just wish people would keep their mouths closed and leave me alone. Period. Yeah, I'm angry, and so very sad.

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Christine.

Triangulation and Gossip

2008-07-04T13:36:00.005-04:00

Triangulation and Gossip Hurt.

Did you know that you carry a lethal weapon with you wherever you go? And it would be impossible for anyone to make you check it at the door, because it is attached to your body. The Spirit of God led Solomon to write, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). That is an amazing statement! And truer than we care to think. James said the tongue is full of deadly poison (James 3:8). A frightening thought!

Most of us who know the Lord want our conversations to honor Him. We want our communication habits to promote love and unity in the Body of Christ. But too often we use our built-in weapons system to accomplish the very opposite effect. Then we wonder why there is so much conflict among God’s people. A study of Scripture may help us find the antidote for the poison of gossip.

The Cause for Gossip

While the word is not prominent in Scripture, the idea of gossip is sprinkled throughout the Bible. It mentions talebearers, people who whisper derogatory information about others. It mentions backbiters, people who talk about faults of others behind their backs. It mentions slanderers, people who speak against others, often with a desire to do them harm. It talks about speaking evil of people or maligning them. We can sum it all up with one word, gossip. It is an ugly word. You can even hear it hissing at you when you say it. It is so ugly, hardly anyone will ever admit to doing it. They have valid concerns. They want to share a matter for prayer. But they never gossip!

We studied a critical spirit, that is, preoccupation with faults of others. Gossip is talking about those faults to people who cannot do anything about them, people who are neither a part of the problem nor a part of the solution. And talking about them to others is gossip, whether it is rumor or fact, true or false. God says, “Do not speak against one another, brethren” (James 4:11). That injunction does not say anything about whether it is true or false. It is evidently unacceptable to speak against other believers even if the story is true.

GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE... It is even wrong to do it in the form of a prayer request: “Pray for John. He’s been seeing another woman.” Or in speaking to the Lord publicly, we say, “Lord, deal with John. You know he’s running around on his wife.” It is wrong to spread accounts of the sins of other people, to put them in a bad light, to say things that will cause other people to dislike them, disrespect them or distrust them. Gossip is listed alongside the vilest sins imaginable. Listen to Paul’s lineup of gross sinners:

“Being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, malice; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful” (Romans 1:29,30). Yet gossip seems to be another one of the Christian’s favorite pastimes. Why?

Most of us want others to think well of us. If we were honest, we would admit that a good bit of our thought-life is occupied with our acceptance level: “Do they know who I am? Do they like me? Do they respect me? Do they think I know what I’m talking about? Do they think I’m attractive? Do they like what I’m wearing? Do they want to be with me?” The lower our self-esteem is, the more we worry about things like that, but all of us give some thought to them.

And that is why we gossip. We want to make ourselves look better and gain greater acceptance. If we have confidential information others do not have, it makes us appear important, knowledgeable and superior. People will listen to us. If we fear somebody else excels us in some way, cutting them down helps us excuse our failure to achieve what they have achieved. If we are jealous of the attention or acclaim they get, pointing out their faults makes us look a little better by comparison. If somebody has injured us, putting them in a bad light seems to us to be a fair way of retaliating, balancing the scales and restoring some of our self-esteem. It can also be an effective way of winning people to our side in the conflict. We seem to think that having more people on our side gives us greater worth. It would help us more though, if we realized that God loves us as we are, that He has accepted us in Christ and considers us a valuable part of His team with a significant role to fill. We don’t need to put others in bad light to establish our own importance.

There are other reasons we gossip. For one thing, we may have had a poor example. We grew up hearing our parents gossip and so were led to believe it was an acceptable part of life. Another possibility is that we have not developed our minds to the extent that we have anything else to talk about but people. Somebody has suggested that folks with great minds talk about ideas, folks with average minds talk about events, and folks with small minds talk about other people. It would help to develop our minds.

The Apostle Paul suggested that we may gossip because we do not have anything better to do. He talks about young widows who “learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention” (1 Timothy 5:13). Gossip here is foolish talk, especially talk that incriminates others. Their gossip is tied both to their idleness and to their tendency to be busybodies, that is, meddling in the affairs of other people. If they invested their time and energies into spiritually profitable activities such as visiting rest homes, ministering to shut-ins or caring for children, they would not have time to chatter about other people. But the cause for gossip is not nearly as important as the damage it does.

The Consequences of Gossip

The book of Proverbs is like a textbook on the tongue, and it mentions several damaging effects of gossip. The first is that it separates friends. “A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 16:28). “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 17:9). Sometimes gossip is done purposely and maliciously by a jealous person who resents the friends someone else has. If he can dig up any trace of disreputable information, he will use it to drive a wedge between friends so he can try to move into the gap. He finds that to be easier than winning friends by showing genuine, unselfish kindness to others. “I don’t mean to be talking about her, but …” “I don’t want you to think I’m gossiping, but …” And in goes the knife!

On the other hand, there may be no malicious intent. It is just idle talk, or an effort to appear on the “inside.” But the result is just the same. You may have heard about the conversation where Ellen says, “Suzie told me you told her the secret that I told you not to tell her.” Jane answers, “Why that blabber mouth! I told her not to tell you I told her.” So Ellen replies, “Well, I told her I wouldn’t tell you she told me, so don’t tell her I did.” That friendship is doomed. Friends have to be able to trust each other. “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter” (Proverbs 11:13).

We alienate our own closest friends by gossip. They begin to suspect that if we talk about others to them, we will also talk about them to others, so they hesitate to share their souls with us. And if we do talk about them, you can be sure it will get back to them, usually exaggerated by a few degrees. And no matter how much we protest that we did not say exactly that, the friendship could be irreparably damaged. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it [that is, love to use their tongues] will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21). If we use the tongue for good, we will reap good from it. If we use it to cast shadows, those shadows will eventually fall on us.

Another consequence of gossip is that it wounds people. “The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body” (Proverbs 18:8). How do you feel when you find out that people have been talking about you unfavorably? They may have enjoyed it as one would enjoy a dainty morsel, but it hurts you, doesn’t it? And the hurt reaches down to your innermost being. While we know the Lord wants us to forgive them, we usually stew on it, worry over it, fret about it, feel sorry for ourselves and get angry with them. Sometimes it begins to affect our ability to function properly. And it may take a long time to heal. Think about that the next time you are tempted to share some juicy tidbit about someone. Would you want that told about you, even if it were true?

Gossip not only wounds, but it also destroys.

Gossip likewise instigates anger. “The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, an angry countenance” (Proverbs 25:23). Some of the angriest people I have ever talked to have been the victims of vicious gossip. They were furious. The resentment they have built up as a result of the anger is sin, and they need to resolve it. But the person with the runaway tongue will still answer for his disobedience to God’s Word.

Did you ever turn a garden hose on with the nozzle partially open? It flops around, bangs into things and soaks everyone nearby. Those people are not very happy with you, are they? A flopping tongue, spraying poison of gossip, has even worse consequences. Husbands and wives have made their family and friends furious with their spouses by talking about faults. Some who have heard the dirt have never been able to forget it and accept the one about whom the gossip has been told. The anger lives on.

That leads to the final consequence of gossip we want to mention. It causes contention and strife. “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down” (Proverbs 26:20). We all have known of churches which were wracked with strife. But there never has been one where the strife would not disappear if people would stop gossiping. “Do you know what he said? Do you know what she did? I’ll tell you what I think he’s after. If he would just do his job, everything would be all right. Do you know what that board is up to now?” Blah, blah, blah! Foolish talk. But it is like wood on the fire. It gets other people stirred up, and they get other people stirred up, and what started out as a spark turns into a raging fire.

James tells us where the original spark comes from. He said it “is set on fire by hell” (James 3:6). And Satan must be laughing himself silly over it. Gossip is his game. The name devil means “slanderer.” And he is called “the accuser of our brethren” (Revelation 12:10). But God hates it. He says the person who spreads strife among brothers is an abomination to Him (Proverbs 6:16-19). Well, what are we going to do about it?

The Cure for Gossip

The first suggestion for eliminating gossip from our conversations is to obey the command of Christ and confront others directly. “And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother” (Matthew 18:15). God wants us to confront those who wrong us. If somebody does something to offend us, slight us, wrong us, take advantage of us or fail us in some way, or if we are aware of a serious sin which somebody has committed, we are to talk to that person about it. Nobody else! Just him alone. If it is some petty little thing, maybe we should just forgive him and forget about it. But if it is important enough to talk to anybody else about, we must talk to him about it first. And if it is not important enough to talk to him, then there is no need ever to mention it to anyone else.

I have asked people on occasion if they have confronted the person who offended them and their answer has been, “Yes, and it didn’t do a bit of good.” So now they feel justified in telling others. But there is a second step prescribed by our Lord, and it is not to spread the word among our friends. “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed” (v. 16). Have you done that?

Then there is another step. “And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax gatherer” (v. 17). Have you done that? Nowhere in this procedure does it say, “O.K., now you can blab it to all your friends.” That is never a biblical option! And consistent biblical attempts to resolve the problem will help eliminate the temptation to talk about it to others.

The second suggestion for eliminating gossip is simply to refuse to listen to it. “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip” (Proverbs 20:19). If all of us would follow that advice, the gossips would have nobody to infect with their venom. When Mrs. Motormouth calls a friend at church and starts to unload her dirt about Gracie Gadabout, her friend should say, “It would be good if you talked to Gracie about that. I don’t feel comfortable with the information.” She will call another friend and try again. But if she gets the same response four or five times, she will either clean up her speech habits or look for a new church. In either case, that church will be spared the poison of her gossiping tongue.

It is difficult not to listen when somebody starts giving us some high level, top-secret information. It makes us feel important to think that they would choose to tell us. Our old sin natures prompt us to take it in and store it up so we can use it someday to enhance our own image. But the listener is just as guilty as the gossiper. People talk because other people listen. If nobody listened, gossip would cease.

A third suggestion for overcoming gossip is to be more open about our own weaknesses. We like to keep our problems under cover for the sake of our image. If we’re not getting along with our spouse, or one of the children ran away from home, or we’re having difficulties on the job, we don’t want anyone to know lest it destroy our reputation as a good Christian. But our secrecy not only deprives us of the healing which the rest of the Body can minister to us, it also provides grist for the rumor mill. If we openly shared those problems and personally solicited the prayer support of other believers, we would be helped immensely, and the mystery on which the gossip feeds would be done away. There is no reason to gossip if everyone knows about it already.

God wants me to be open about my weaknesses, and you to be open about your weaknesses. But that is where it stops. He doesn’t want me to be open about yours, nor you to be open about mine. Openness itself can turn to gossip when we misuse it. You all have heard of the three preachers who were out in a boat together fishing. They decided to get honest with each other about their secret sins. The first preacher said he liked to gamble when he got away from home. The second said he took a little nip on the bottle when no one was looking. “What’s yours?” they asked the third. “Mine’s gossip,” he answered, “and I can’t wait to get out of here.” That is not the kind of openness we are talking about. Let each of us be honest about our own shortcomings.

A fourth suggestion is to learn to love. We learn that primarily by observing God’s love for us (cf. 1 John 4:19). And when we truly learn it, we will not gossip any more. “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Proverbs 10:12). That idea was borrowed by Peter who said, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). The worst thing about gossip is that it is totally unloving. We are showing no loving consideration whatsoever for the person we talk about in a derogatory manner. We are tearing him down before others, whereas love builds him up (cf. 1 Corinthians 8:1).

Before we open our mouths it might be good to ask, “Will this build respect for the person I am about to mention? Will it build trust? Will it build love?” If not, it would be better to leave it unsaid. There are many things I have said through the years that I wish I could take back. But it is too late! Thoughtless, loveless words can never be reclaimed. Learn to love!

There is one more suggestion, the most obvious and most important, yet probably the least used. Ask the Lord to help you guard your tongue. The psalmist did. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14). “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3). God loves to help people who humbly admit their need and ask Him for help. Will you try it? He will help you conquer the gossip habit.

I won't take credit for writing this wonderful piece - I found it. From what I've recently discovered, there are many people that could benefit from reading it. It's a great lesson for us all! :)

I've Been Crazy Busy... Here's What I've Been Up To Lately:

2008-06-29T22:23:00.003-04:00

Cleaned house in preparation of leaving the family for the weekend

Flew to Ohio to photograph a friend's wedding

Made it a 'get away weekend for Mom!'

Got a much needed massage in Ohio!

Visited with a great friend while there

Had a quiet hotel room, where no one said, "Mom... Mom... Mom..."

Turbulence on the plane (on the flight home) spilled my soda all over my lap - soaked!

Flights canceled on the way home, I ended up a night in North Carolina for a night, which wasn't part of the plan!

All my clothes were in my checked luggage, which didn't help me at all!

Left my cell phone in my rental car - grrrr!

Came home and cleaned the house :)

Sophia started speech therapy (for articulation) twice a week

Noah is taking karate twice a week

Dentist appointment

Eye doctor appointment

Secret Shop at Lenscrafters got me $140 - towards an awesome pair of Prada glasses!

Kid's last day of school was the 19th

Noah is taking swim lessons

Sophia had her Pre-K screening, and passed with flying colors (except articulation, which she's in speech for)

Taking care of baby guinea keets

Editing wedding pictures

Mowing 3 acres of lawn every 4-5 days with a not so large riding mower

Got a dump truck full of sand dropped off for the kiddo's sand pile

Took the kids to Lowe's for wood crafts, pics to come

Trucking Paige to Starbucks and friend's houses for sleepovers

Don't forget cooking, cleaning etc.

See why I haven't had time to post? Phew! Trying to load pics for a few things, but camera needs charging.

Calgon, take me away!

Daddy & Daughter Dance

2008-06-19T01:00:00.002-04:00

So, Ted calls me on the cellphone tonight...

2008-06-12T21:28:00.004-04:00

and tells me to come outside with my camera. This is what I find:

Yes. She's REALLY driving the skid steer. This isn't a 'stop and make it look like she's running the controls' picture. I had to keep jumping out of her way so not to get run over! When driving forward she would say, "dumping the dirt..."

And backing up... Ted watches to make sure she's not going to hit anything.
She'd say, "Backing up, beep, beep, beep!"

Look at that grin when she stops and I make a big deal about her driving! Don't mind her 'dirt mustache'... she was playing in the dirt before moving it around with the skid steer!