ORTINO'S NORTHSIDE

Start A Beer Train, A Beer Train

2008-07-25T08:23:00.003-04:00

I think the train ran me over and took another couple of people with it. Such is the life of T.N.S.C. Billy Joel said it best "We might be laughing a bit too loud, but that never hurt no one". Unless it's jet engine loud, which is usually the case. The bar was running out of glasses trying to keep up with our bottle purchases. 3 Fonts, Russian River, Allagash Black and God knows what else. The funniest part of the night was listening to Sarah carp about not being mentioned in my last blog. She still hasn't cross the t's and dotted the I's for the Philly Beer Week promotion of "Win A Date with Sarah." You try and help her out every now and then, you know?

I Don't Like Fridays

2008-07-21T07:59:00.003-04:00

Tell me why, I don't like Friday's. Tell me why. Okay already, I'll tell you! It starts as always at a Thursday Night Social Club meeting. Though in this case it was more like the All Star Male Review. All Star might be pushing the envelope, say like pushing a snowball up Mount Everest. Even the esteemed Cask Ale Kevin was there, the only person I know who probably goes to bed with his tie on. But none the less it was time to have a few brews and some food from the slightly new menu which is out now. A Nurse Nugget Nectar from the handpump is always welcome and some Maredous 10 is never going to be turned away. The Weyerbacher 13 a strong Belgian Stout was up next and I needed a fork and a knife to cut through this delightful thick and dark beer. Then it was time to play our favorite game, everybody buys a bottle. I choose Russian River Damnation Batch 27. Why? Because I could. After 7 bottles, I may have said something stupid like "one more time!" I kinda forget. I am pretty sure by now we were the Anti-Social Club. We then decided to adjourn the meeting and go home. I want to shoooooooooot the whole morning down.

Happy Birthday America!

2008-07-03T15:07:00.002-04:00

So sorry to tell you fine folks, but the old Northside will be closed on the Fourth Of July so that everybody can go see the 17.3 Million dollar firework spectacular in Zieglerville. But that crazy BBQ will be back in action on Saturday. Have a good Fourth!

Free Beer Tomorrow

2008-06-30T19:19:00.002-04:00

Well the polls have closed and what a shocker. Free beer wins again. What magical, mysterious power does free beer have over us? If someone said "Hey buddy, I'll buy you dinner" you would say thanks and shrug your shoulders and mumble something about you have to go home or some other crap like that. "Hey buddy, how about we go out and get some brew, it's on me." Your head would spend around faster then Linda Blair in the Exorcist and you are out the door. Does the term free beer bring up images from our youth? "Hey kid, there no such thing as free beer, now get lost." Is the flavor somehow better? Can you drink more of it? Will free beer cure the common hangover? More important, will paybacks be a bitch when it's your turn to buy? So many questions, so few answers. So in the name of science, I am willing to be a guinea pig, so to speak. I will let people buy me beer over the Fourth Of July weekend and I will report back to you Monday. The things I have to do.......

I'll Save You A Seat In Beer Hell

2008-06-27T16:17:00.002-04:00

The Thursday Night Social Club was out in full force last night doing what we do best, drinking and eating and even more drinking. As is our nature, we started doing some crazy talk, like mixing beers. Like mixing Cantillion and 120. Before the angry flood of e-mails and threatened boycotts start, let me try to explain. The Cantillion Bruscella has been on for awhile. Mostly because out of all the lambics this one is at the bottom of the lambic barrel. It is a still lambic (aka flat) so it just doesn't reach out and grab you like the others. The thought (?) process kinda went like this, the lambic was on it's last legs, it has no carbonation and certainly no hops. So if we mixed it, what would happen? Would it be over the top hoppy? Or would the 120 help bring it back to life, though in a much different manner, say like a funky west coast beer? The answer was quite astounding and shocking. It was DAM GOOD! We had to be drunk, there can be no possible way that should have ever worked. But it did. Everybody guessed what was poured first or last in the glass, most of us guessed wrong. The funk was in your face and the hops took somewhat of backseat. I see Sam buying up all the bad lambic and bringing it back to Milton to make this concoction. So if this post upsets you in any way, it wasn't our fault, it was Sarah's.

14 Or Fight!

2008-06-26T08:11:00.002-04:00

I know I will surely date myself with this classic movie jem. The basic premise of the movie was that 14 year olds wanted to vote and once they got it, they put everybody over 30 in camps and gave them LSD. Sounds like a summer blockbuster doesn't it? It did star Shelly Winters, Hal Holbrook and Richard Pryor however and quickly disappeared in to movie history lore. For a free beer, what is the name of this movie? Why even bring this up? A certain beer with the number Batch 14 has been rediscovered. Maybe, just maybe you might want some. Or fight for it.

Trapped At The Northside!

2008-06-16T08:32:00.002-04:00

It was Saturday night. The BBQ was smoking. The beer was flowing. And Liquid Fringe was playing. There was one small problem. Nobody told Mother Nature. She was pissed. She lit up the night sky and made some awful racket. She huffed and puffed and sent one table umbrella to Northeast Philly and sent another one right in my direction. That could have hurt just a bit and may have even cause me to spring a leak. But I sneer at danger and laugh at it's attempt to do me harm. Or maybe it's the other way around. None the less, we did what all somewhat able bodies do in a time of crisis, we ordered more beer and waited for the rain to subside. And waited and waited some more. It was a tough job, but in the end we were able to wait out the storm. Yes, we are able to laugh about now, but it was a scary 5 1/2 hours trapped at the Northside.

Only The Good Die Young

2008-06-12T08:01:00.002-04:00

It is always hard to write about passing of someone who you barely knew. But when it is someone in the beer circles in which we all travel and probably have met more times than we can remember, a note of condolences to his family and friends should be given. Mr. Bryson said it best here and I can never say it better. They will bury Jay Mission today at the age of 48. It gives me a very real moment to pause and think about that since I just turned 50. I know in the beer world that his passing is a big lost. But in the other world of friends and family it is a much bigger lost. I hope that when Philly Beer Week comes around again next March, that we just don't remember the man and his beers. But we remember the man and his circles of family and friends.

Can You Smell.......... What John Is Smoking?

2008-06-02T18:38:00.002-04:00

You want it, you got it. Every Saturday during the summer months (yeah, that means now) the semi world famous Bar-B-Que buffet will be on display for your eating pleasure. And just in case you forgot, there is one hell of a lot of BBQ to eat. So you can't make it on Saturday? No worries man, just stop by and grab a plate on Sunday afternoon off the specials menu. Trust me, it is just as much BBQ as if you went into the kitchen and got it yourself. So don't delay, make your weekend plans now. Why spend $4.00 for a gallon of gas to go to the shore, when you can sit on the deck and eat BBQ and drink some right smart beer. I think even the "Rock" would approve.

The Thursday Night Social Club

2008-05-24T17:56:00.002-04:00

Some people say that a picture is worth a thousand words. I say without one, it protects the guilty. So goes another Thursday night at the Northside. If you can imagine the lineup of guys at the bar that night, well, you would leave your wife or girlfriend home too. It was pure trouble with a capital T. Thursday night always seemed to be a good starting point for a couple of brews and some Tex-Mex. It has morphed at times to an all out assault on the tap list, bottle list, hidden bottles and of course our own (lack of) senses. It can and often does get a little loud, but what the hell, you only live twice Mr. Bond. For some of you stopping in for the first time on a Thursday, do not fear. We will not hurt you. Just don't feed the animals.

3 Days Sober And More Crazy Talk

2008-05-22T09:33:00.002-04:00

You know after drinking more beer than even I thought was possible over the 13 days in Belgium (and not having any hangovers) I had to break down and stop for a few days. My liver was threatening to go on strike and well, I need it more than it needs me. I am quite sure that will change over the next several days. Like starting tonight at some place on the mean streets of Zieglerville. Which brings me to the crazy talk portion of this blog. While the "cat" was away, the mice sure were playing. Though I might lean more towards rats. Whatever the case, I now would like to thanks all those involved for giving you and us crazy folks in beer land a good laugh. First up is Kevin, who said nothing but nice things about me and the Northside. He gets a free beer. Next on the hit parade is the lovely and talented writer Brian. He said some nice things about me and the Northside, but I already bought him a six pack of Stella in cans from a rest stop outside of Bruges. Then comes Dr. Joel who started off nice but viciously turned on me for some unknown reason. If I could only remember what Miller beer to give to him. Last and most certainly least, the one and only Mr. Curtin. We all had a crap load of laughs at my expense in Belgium, but I am pretty sure that HE owes me some beer and not just that Sly Fox stuff. Finally, I wonder what happen to Mr. Deep Pond himself, otherwise known as Dell. Was he upset at the rumour of us drinking the last few bottles of beer he loves in Belgium? Time shall tell. But in a somewhat serious way, I really would like to thank everybody who joined in on the fun writing for this blog. But remember, what goes around, I drink down or something like that.

I Came Back For This?

2008-05-20T15:44:00.003-04:00

13 sunny days. Great beer and food. Great people too. Belgium exceeded even my expectations. So I came back to this? Cold rain every f-ing day? What are you kidding me? Where is my passport, I'm going back. For the rest of those kind people who are bored of playing solitaire all day and staring at the rain drops which keep falling on my head, I give you this The Last Bottle Left A blow by blow account of my trip to Belgium. Part one is up now, but have patience, I've got 13 days to go .

The French Honor "Pookie de Hand"

2008-05-20T10:02:00.001-04:00

De Tijger van Bengalen Has Returned from Exile!

2008-05-16T09:50:00.002-04:00

I have returned from the shortest exile in the history of recorded civilization. I will hunt down the traitors who hijacked my good (name?) and they will be severely punished. You shall not call me by my old name or I will be forced to laugh hysterically at my new one. I will slowly begin to return this blog back to it's rightful place among the bottom feeders of the blogging world. Thank you for your patience in this matter.

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!

2008-05-15T17:56:00.003-04:00

Batten down the hatches, the kids are back in town and getting ready to hit the Northside for tex-mex night. Watch us cause a commotion by ordering beers we were drinking on a daily basis.

Deck's Open, Dan's Almost Back

2008-05-14T08:59:00.008-04:00

Well, ok folks it's time i fessed up.

Dan Bengel is not and has not been in Belgium for, like, two weeks. Yes he'll be back around tomorrow at some point. Sure he'll get on here and make some post:

"Hey everybody, hope you enjoyed Pimp My Blog. Belgium was great, i did this and that and boy did we drink some beer." You'll believe it, you'll think this post you're reading right now was all some kind of weird joke or something. He'll go on and on and on and post up all these pictures from Belgium in some Ortino's related and linked to blogspace, but i am telling you it's all untrue. Dan's not even 50, he's 51.

See the whole twisted thing got started around this time last year. Festival season was slowly creeping in, Ortino's was planning some majorly cool events, there was a lot of excitement and a lot of Quality Control sessions and Dan actually missed his 50th birthday. Just slipped everybody's minds, ya know?

Little did Big Dan know this would be the most fortunate lapse of reason and memory that he'd ever have. After being charmed time and time again by his posts and announcements, a few companies in the brewing industry really started taking a good hard look at Dan. One of which happened to be the Miller Brewing Company. They scouted Dan for the latter months of 2007 and sometime around February approached him with an offer he couldn't refuse.

I shouldn't even be telling you this, but it's something you should all know. Things are going to be a lot different when Dan starts poking his head around the bar again this weekend.

Dan, having already been 50 when the scouts started looking at him last year, fell just under the umbrella of Miller's Elderly Outreach - Beers For Peers program. He's a suit and tie guy now who will be travelling the country trying to get Miller tap handles in retirement communities from West Palm Beach to Walla Walla. If you look even close to retirement age, he's gonna pitch you the latest in Miller's "Community Reserve" line. With his keen eye on the finer beers of life, which are sure to appeal to the elderly who are seemingly immune to Miller's normal ad campaigns (they did a study), Big Dan is the ultimate sales threat for his new employer. He relates to the product and to the audience. He gets the big picture.

He's even been taking part in brand strategy meetings with Miller online and via telephone for months. He's rumored to have had a hand in several of their exclusive brands, including:

Cuvee De Puree
Alzheimer's Ale
Slow Driver Stout
Hearing Aid Hefe
Biere De Farte

He is also apparently going to have his own line of Old Ales coming out once he's established himself in the marketplace. His face will be on each can and bottle so that the people in the old folks homes remember him when he visits.

So how do you make twenty some people disappear, think they've been in Belgium, and come back with plenty of stories to tell? One word: Drugs.

This is a disturbing development, i know, just keep an eye on the guy when he starts showing up in your favorite bars.

Dr. Joel, over & out.

Saturday Night's Alright For...

2008-05-08T19:08:00.003-04:00

Well I was going to post something fun and witty but since I am neither, I will post some exciting news about Saturday. In all reality Sarah was not working today so all your secrets are safe.

Here is what is planned for Saturday:

Liquid Fringe will rock open the deck There will be a BBQ menu that will have everything you can think of for one low price. And then there is the beer. Beer reps and such will be pouring Malheur Brut, Allagash White, Abita Purple Haze, and a few Magic Hat beers. There will also be beers from the above mention breweries on-tap as well. Oh, I almost forgot there will be a firkin of Weyerbacher Muse being poured via gravity.

Also Check out the updated beer list. You will see there is a beer on the Nitro and hand pumps.

"TTFN"
CaskAleKev

TALL UNGAINLY AMERICAN TOURIST TRIPS OVER PIERRE CELIS IN BELGIUM

2008-05-05T08:16:00.006-04:00

BRUGES-An unidentified American tourist, reportedly seen all over Brussels in recent days consuming beers at a prodigious rate, last night stumbled over Belgian icon Pierre Celis in a cafe and fell to the floor. While Celis was unhurt and shrugged off the incident other patrons were outraged and seized the hapless man and his female companion, who had seemed unusually irate all evening, and turned them over to authorities. Several bystanders claimed that the American had actually been trying to jump over Celis as part of a bet with his boisterous tablemates, leading him to screan "Dat enkel gekke bespreking!" as he was hauled away.

The affair quickly escalated into an international incident and an emergency session of the United Nations has been called in New York for tomorrow. Belgian officials, which now consider the pair "persons of interest," assigned them code names (De Tijger van Bengalen and Pookie de Hand) and released them to the U.S. Embassy, which acknowledged that "we take this matter very seriously and apologize to our good allies. Belgium has never declared war on another country to our knowledge, and we'd like to keep it that way because, to be honest, their available fighting forces would probably outnumber ours at this point."

Back in the U.S., the White House, which spent most of the day explaining that President Bush misspoke when he originally asked "What's a Belgium?" after being told of the incident, later said that the president had wandered off somewhere but left behind a one-sentence official comment: "Heck of a job, Danny."

Presidential candidates of both parties quickly weighed in as well. Sen. John McCain told a crowd that "Americans are big and awkward and create havoc wherever we go and we will do so for 100 years if necessary. That wouldn't bother me." Sen. Hillary Clinton said that Belgium "sounds like an ideal place for Bill to campaign for the rest of the year," then added "I wouldn't mind having a shot and a beer there myself." Sen. Barack Obama offered to send pastor Jeremiah Wright to accompany the former president overseas but explained that "if he's ever said anything about Belgium in any of his sermons, I never heard a word of it. No, really." And, in a show of bipartisanship, Republican Ron Paul and Democrat Dennis Kucinich released a joint White Paper entitled "Small Is Beautiful: Don't Tread on Us."

In other news, the Patio Opening Party at Northside is still on for Sunday, May 10. In an interview with local cable access personality Linda Ortino, a bartender who asked to be identified only as Sarah said that "I'm looking forward to it and hope it gets a little bit crazy. It's been awfully dull around here since our annoying Thursday night regulars apparently ran away somewhere together...not that there's anything wrong with that."

Speaking truth to power, Uncle Jack signing out.

Consider the Tiger

2008-05-04T22:48:00.005-04:00

Dan Bengel. Oy Vey.

A tiger, a region of Bangladesh, a really tall guy with lots of place to store all that he imbibes (sure i'm being friendly with my spelling, but play along-won't you?). Who is Dan Bengel?

How does a guy, a patron, a friendly bloke end up as internet bastion for a great beer bar? This is the power of great beer and good friends. So as we poke and piddle at our good friend Big Dan in his absence, lets take a sec to celebrate the guy and his birthday.

Big Dan's gruelling work here in the blogosphere cannot go unnoticed and since we have so much time to defame him, i figured i would go on record as at least saying something good about the guy as we set down to drag his name through the mud.

Despite the fact that no matter what you think, Dan, even if he is fast asleep, has it better than you do right now. The guy is on a dream trip to a dream land for a memorable birthday that guys and gals can only experience in this particular way once in a lifetime. He's drinking better beer than you are right now.

So anyway, introduced to me officially as a friend of a friend, Big Dan has been a great person to talk to and get to know more and more as we find ourselves in the same place at the same time. His efforts at this here blog are just representative of the kind of guy he is. He loves the suds as much as you and me and he's happy to be involved.

So on this birthday trip of his, let's toast the tallest teddy bear in all the lands and say thank god there's a Dan Bengel to temporarily replace. Be he at Orval, stumbling through Bruges, or taking residence at the Northside, we should all be happy to raise our glasses to Big Dan.

Dr. Joel signing off here. I'm glad i ran into the rag tag writers crew today, or i'd have had no idea i was up to bat.

WHILE DAN'S AWAY, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO THE HEAVY LIFTING.

2008-05-03T18:18:00.009-04:00

The thing about what's happening, the way the world is changing at levels that we don't even recognize, is that nobody is anywhere. Or, conversely, everybody is everywhere. Bryan sits at his computer somewhere in Malvern and pecks out a message and Dan is looking over his shoulder from a cafe in Belgium. They are in more direct contact than they would be if they lived next door to one another (then again, of course, not living next door to one another is a benefit both must appreciate).

That's amazing stuff. But the most amazing thing, today at least, is that Big Dan Bengel is 50 years old and he is in Belgium. What were the odds of either of those being a reality a decade ago?

Of course, while he is in Belgium, he seems to have lost track of his commitment to keeping visitors to this little corner of the internet informed about what's happening at Northside. For example, how many of you are aware that, a week from this very day, there is a big Patio Opening Party in bucolic Zieglerville?

Not to worry. Some thoughtful and responsible soul has posted the information here.

Friends don't let friends go to Belgium and screw up their responsibilities.

Carrying even more of the load, Uncle Jack signing off.

DAN'S GONE, ORTINO'S & THE BLOG LIVES ON

2008-05-02T18:10:00.001-04:00

What exactly is Pimpin'? Never tried the profession myself. Though, as Urban Dictionary (esp. entry #7) would define it, it sounds like I should be doing something awesome or ghettofab with this really fresh blog that I now have access too.

In fact, as Big Dan pointed out the other day, he has turned over the keys to this fine blog to 5 impeccably unquestionable characters, including yours truly. What else to do than help out a friend in need? I think he promised the Northside Naughty Five some Belgian goodies upon his return in return for our services here at the blog. Right?

What to do, what to do?

While there's plenty of mischief that I think we can embark upon here, I'll keep it innocent today. I didn't make it to Ortino's on two separate occasions over the past 3 weeks (Pliny & Hammer). Today, fortune smiled down on me and I find myself sitting here at the bar as I speak, write, type, whatever.

Interesting how happy the staff looks. And it looks like the restaurant and bar are more crowded. Word must be out that the rowdies are gone. They're crunching the numbers to determine if there's a direct cause and effect relationship with Belgian Dan's departure.

'Til me and the boys come up with something more mischievous to post, this is my contribution for the day.....and an updated tap list on the left.

Oh, and by the way, don't forget about the Deck Opening Party next Saturday, 5/10, here in bucolic Zieglerville.

Brew Lounge Bryan signing off...

I'M LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

2008-04-30T16:52:00.002-04:00

But I know when I'll come back again. I think I do, okay I am pretty sure. In a little over 26 hours I will take to the friendly skies and wake up in the morning in Brussels. For the rest of you fine folks, here is my last bit of pimping advice. May 10th at 1pm is the grand opening of the deck for the season. The all you can eat bar-b-que buffet will be there, the outside bar will be open and do not forget the band Liquid Fringe will be playing. It looks like it will be a right smart time in the old city of Zieglerville. To my pimping partners in crime, be kind to me and The Northside. Everything else is fair game. I think. See you in the funny papers or you tube.

PIMP MY BLOG!

2008-04-29T10:32:00.003-04:00

Welcome to Pimp My Blog. Based on the wildly successfully programs on MTV such as Pimp My Car, Pimp My House, Pimp My Prom, Pimp My Girlfriend, Pimp My Pets, Pimp My Parents and of course Pimp My Pimp, this will give an opportunity for someone from the beer community to Pimp My Blog. So Don Pardo, let's meet the contestants on Pimp My Blog! First up is Kevin "Cask Ale" Rowe. A young hard working man who loves his cask ales and started a blog for where to find them in the area. Next is Joel "Dr. J" Armato. A local fixture on the beer scene, his blog "The Grain Bill" is all about some of his comings and going. Our next contestant is Wardell "Deep Pond" Massey. His bitter battle at the Beer Geek competition at Johnny Brenda's a few weeks ago was a sight to see. Than comes Bryan "Brew Lounge" Kolesar. I think there is no way he can possibly be working with all the traveling and posting he does. Last and certainly not least, Mr. Jack Curtin. We all know his skill with the written word so his entry into this competition may spell trouble for our other contestants. Including me. But none the less with my trip to Belgium only 57 hours away, I needed someone to fill in the blanks so to speak, since I sure can't guarantee just how much I will be posting on this site. I am trying to finalize another blog to discuss my trip in detail and to post pictures, I will let you know. So starting sometime after 4pm on Thursday, these five brave warriors will get together to see who can, Pimp My Blog!

HAMMERING TIME

2008-04-22T16:29:00.003-04:00

Friday night is alright for Hammer, get a little Pliny in. What a great night at the old Northside last Friday. Well, except for yours truly. I just couldn't get the wrinkles out of my old parachute pants. My big gold emblem was at the hock shop, and haven't shave my chest since it lost all it's definition. But seriously I just got stuck on a job. It really pains me to say that, because it might ruin my reputation. I missed more than a few fine folks including Mr. Jack Curtin and Mr Cask Ale himself, Kevin. At 7:30 when I got there the place was crammed as was the parking. I always try to park in the wait staff and those troublemakers that aren't going to leave until I do which was around 1. All four beers were tasting pretty damn good and with a couple glasses of the Flemish red and Dogfish San Palo, all that evil work pain went away. But alas, this week will be my last visit to those mean streets of Z-ville as I am up, up and away to Belgium next Thursday night. So stop on out this Thursday night for some good old tex-mex and some brews. I just might be there. Again.

IF I HAD A HAMMER

2008-04-18T07:51:00.002-04:00

Well kids, you wanted to know what the surprise keg would be, hell I wanted to know. Now we both know. The ORIGINAL Hammer is on tap! The best guess of what year it could be, 2005. Could be wrong, could be right. But does it really matter? Last nights quality control meeting lasted till 11:30 pm and I still couldn't believe how good this still was. I waited for the air to hit and watch turn sour, but it didn't happen. It was rich and full of Hammer flavor. Now a moment of reflection. Please old great beer Gods, do not let this go bad today. The Northsiders have been good and are still worthy of this great beer. Let them know the meaning of the true Hammer. Thank You. In other news, the heat wave has spark a hunger to sit outside on the patio. Some of it is open, but the rest is still under some renovations. I will see you all later tonight.