Chasing Myself...

Silly is The Only Way

2009-12-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

I have another interview tomorrow. For a skilled nursing facility(SNF called sniffs by us in the med business). It's what I've been looking for. Full time, night shifts after training maybe, and I would learn everything the hard way.

Nursing school was the hard way. The 46 years before nursing school were the hard way(except for my pretty darn happy childhood up until 16.). God must know I learn better the hard way because to be honest, I cannot remember learning anything of use the easy way.

The past months have been in the valley and every time I begin to climb, I slide back down. I wallowed off and on since August and have now decided while short term wallows are ok, long term wallow are a dang waste of time. HA!(aren't I one swilly wabbit?)

I've refined my resume to the point where I can adapt it for each job application.

I've learned there is a new theory to residential psychiatric treatment called the Recovery Method(Kate stop puking, k?). There is a new term in social work as well~wrap around coverage. I applied for a job at a perinatal treatment facility that uses wrap around coverage so I had to call my pal with a MSW to make sure I knew what that meant.

It means all outside agencies are coordinated for care of the client. Last year it was called complete discharge referral coverage. :P

Jeesh the social sciences are full of malarkey. No wonder I do so well in them.

I check the job listings on Craigslist every days, several times a day as they are updated constantly.

The interview I have tomorrow happened because I called the facility and asked of they were going to have any openings and lo! and Behold! a night shift nurse was retiring at the end of the year and they had not told anyone yet! Except the receptionist. Mushahaha.

Now there are 5-6 applications out there where I've had no response. Many of the ads are very specific about experience and I do not apply to jobs I know I am not qualified for. Walk ins are the way to go for most SNFs. I have a list to hit if things don't work outby January 1st.

NOTE!! Job hunters all medicaid facilities will be refunded on January 1. Go apply the week after Christmas! Because of the cuts many positions were never filled. I heard on the partyline funding comes anew next month. Good Luck Debby! :o)

I have to go return the clothes I bought for last interview since I never wore them Yeehaw, shopping...............bleh.

Thank you all for your comments, encouragement, opinions, etc. LOVE YA!!!

Interview Update

2009-12-11T16:53:00.000-08:00

glitter-graphics.com

They hired someone else. No I did not get a reason why I was rejected.

I'm feeling MIGHTY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Janice Doesn't Like Not Having Control!!

2009-12-11T15:03:00.000-08:00

I freely admit I'm a closet control freak. Hey, I'm a mom~we all are control freaks to some extent.

I called the psych facility. She is in the process of checking references and will 'probably' call me back later today. I'd be pulling out my hair if it wasn't in a pony tail.

It's bad enough my gray hairs are showing. I have no money to get my hair highlighted. My pony tail is 12 inches long!!!!!!!! Cuz I have no money to get it cut. I won't go to cheap hair chains because I don't want to look like a shorn cat! Exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-cuse me, I just don't want to look like a major hair mistake. GRRRRR. My one vanity is my hair. God is letting me know I need to get over that. Meanie!

I applied for a different job at a long term care facility where I'd learn soooooooo much. It would be hard exhausting work but worth it in the long run and LTC pays is the highest.

I had to apply online and now I wait for them to call or not to call. I adjusted my resume to fit what skill set they want their LPN candidate.

According to free career advisor, adapting resumes is the new way to go. Cover letters are going the way of typewriters.

No matter how great my resume looks, my lack of on the job experience is glaringly missing. Sigh.

I am going to volunteer if I don't get a job soon. I will volunteer at LTC and assisted living places if they will let me. Anything for experience.

I am a life-long learner. As much as I bitched about nursing school, I adore learning (math not included). Before the internet I read incessantly. I read books written by doctors, nurses, psychology text books but I find psych is exciting and fun and incredibly achieving new breakthroughs every day. The fact the brain (hippocampus) can regenerate is mind blowing.

I need to learn. I feel useless right now. I wish I had the research capabilities I had at college. Alumni aren't allowed to access this. It's thousands of articles of nursing research, medical research, new psych drugs and therapies, all nursing magazines and all medical journals. I want to read them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For free.

ARGH. I just accidentally published this blog. Not done.

I also want to take care of those in medical need. I want to help them and knowing I helped them helps me feel better and more worthy.

Does this make any sense?

Chilly Yet Cool

2009-12-08T21:26:00.000-08:00

It's in the twenties here. BRRRRRRRRRRRRR! We are so not used to this. I'm used to rain and temps around 45. It's been brilliantly yet deceivingly sunny. Mean ol' weather.

I think my interview went ok. For a gal who hasn't interviewed for years...

I revamped my resume based on suggestions of my college's career specialist. I sound like I know stuff! It's pretty cool after the agony. It's not perfect and is always a work in progress. I turned all my student clinicals into clinical experience. I'm sure I forgot much but half the page is about clinical learning.

Funny but I did not wear anything I bought shopping. I see a return in my future. I scrounged in boxes and found stuff I had to wear. Looking nice but not too dressy. They are very casual at the place I interviewed. I also found black birkenstock clogs that almost brand new to wear!! they are suede and look very good under slacks. My regular birks(Yes I wear them with socks, duh, this IS Seattle)are a blue clog. My nursing shoes are an ugly white which was required in school. They are comfy but white...........bleh.

I want to clear something up. While my spouse is not sensitive or my ideal soulmate, he is not a bad guy. He is projecting much of his feelings about himself onto me. I'm a great target. He was raised by a father who would have been a perfect Nazi and let's not forget, he was born on Europe in the early '50's. (Let's all nod and say ohhhhhOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHoooooH knowingly). LOL.

Our marriage has hit every major life stressor except divorce. Lost a son, my mom, his dad, he's been unemployed 5 times in 23 years. Never fired just companies going out of business or moving or sold to another owner until latest job when construction tanked. We've fairly well off to downright poverty(like now).

He has trouble with accepting change in my opinion. I believe this is why he cannot see me for ME now. He underestimated my strength and perseverance. His loss.

Thanks for all your supportive and caring comments. Love ya folks! Even you Mr. Suldog. Yes, you. Haha.

Note to Self

2009-12-08T11:12:00.000-08:00

That little ghoul up there has his mouth shown shut.

Tips for myself at my interview:

1. Answer questions only. Do NOT ramble.

2. Stay on topic.

3. Confidence.

4. No visible jitters.

5. Deep breaths before.

6. Remember why I love nursing and psych in particular.

Oh jeez, I hate this stuff.

I Just Adore Shopping

2009-12-06T23:19:00.000-08:00

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

Shopping is fun for folks with money/cute sizes/look good in clothes/younger. I am none or have none of these qualities.

I need an outfit for my interview. Casual yet not my usual jeans and oversized t-shirts.

I have been a stay at home mom/student for over 20 years now. The dress code was whatever I felt like wearing.

Starting at the age of 40(give or take a year)my body sort of self-destructed. I gained weight. Things started dropping and flopping and sagging. My spouse(who's gained weight over the past 5-6 years) had a time telling me I disgust him. Gee thanks. Sure. I want to spend the next 30 years with you..........

This is also the person who told me I would never finish college. I was too heavy/clumsy to be a nurse and I was sure to fail. He said this because he was worried about me. Can we all say BULL?

Now I have achieved what I set out to do, he spends time giving me advice on finding a job............this from a guy laid off 5 times in our marriage. Call we say HYPOCRITE? I can.

I want a job to get me outta this damn house of tension, unsaid frustrations, uncommunicated feelings, underlying tension and anger.

I want a job because I will be a good nurse. I still have many things to learn but I adore learning. I know new grads have a steep learning curve. I know it won't be easy. I look forward to the challenge.

Think positive employment thoughts and I will bite my tongue in interviews. Things work better that way.

May the Lord be by my side.

Friday Night's All Right With Me

2009-12-04T15:28:00.000-08:00

I called the psych facility.

They have not even looked at the apps. let alone set up any interviews.

ARGH.

I will go visit on Monday just to keep myself very visible, very hard to ignore yet not irritating.

I will also revamp my resume this weekend. Oh joy and happiness is mine.

Note to self: Need to dial back my sarcastic meter for interview.

Let's talk about cabana boys...

There are many people out there on the net who are well aware of my obsession with cabana boy fantasies.

Back when I was a chat host for good ol' AOL I would discuss(rant) about my desires to be on a warm beach with handsome, silent, servile cabana boys(men. no one under 28need apply).

Wowee. I just got a phone call. Interview Tuesday at 1:30 p.m. PST. (prayers puleazzze)

Back to warm water, warm sand, cold alcoholic drinks with colorful umbrellas, and hot men.

When there were lulls in the chat room conversations I would bring up my cabana boy dreams and described them.

This would do one of two things: Drive everyone off OR get a rockin' convo flying.

My other conversation starter would be ramblings that the silent chatters were the FBI sent to catch me for my criminal endeavors. Crimes such as ripping off jewels thieves and sucking mobsters of their hard earned pay.

A'yup. I do have a creative imagination. Need one when one grows up with three brothers. Take that any way you want to. (raised eyebrow)

Have a good weekend folks.

Twenty~Twenty~Twenty~Twenty- Four Hours A Day...

2009-12-03T20:49:00.000-08:00

I WANNA BE SEDATED!
(name the band and the year it was a hit!)

I am irked.

21 years old does not mean grown up.

I am trapped within this rental prison with 4 males~one 7 month old pitbull puppy who's still working on manners, one been~unemployed~almost~a~year 50-something spouse, one 21yo working full-time and wants a life where Pupples only exists when convenient, and an 18yo going to college in January but just hanging wasting time until then.

(silent scream)

I am tired of being the mom, the wife, the responsible bill paying on time, conscientious studying every night student, dog trainer/babysitter/nap mat, looking for a job new grad LPN and not getting interviews, knowing I'm gonna be an awesome nurse and why can't THEY know that, only female in this space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not giving up. I just needed to vent. I need a 4 week vacation with some good friends in a warm clime with very built good looking cabana boys to serve us on the beach...................................

Well Dang!

2009-12-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

What do you know?

The place I did my psych clinical at is hiring an on-call person.

Guess where I just happened to stop by this afternoon?

I think I can score an interview at least.

YEEHAW! I can see a teensy bit of light through the tiny crack in my tunnel.(Better watch out~if my tunnel is like that one built in the Big Dig in Boston,I may get a slab on concrete in my head unexpectedly.)

The lady from career advising at my school gave me some great tips for my resume. It was a very helpful hour. I used to be fairly smart because some of what was pointed out was so darn obvious. DOI!

My friends please pray I find the job where God feels I belong. Let's all sincerely wish that is not 90 miles form where I live. God can have a very tweaked sense of humor.

Over and out. Smile, it helps keep the frown lines away.

All I Want

2009-12-02T12:33:00.000-08:00

...is a place to wear my scrubs.

The job search goes on. One would think I was applying for a CEO position considering how difficult it is to be employed when one has no On The Job experience.

The quandary: won't hire w/o experience. Can't get experience w/o employment.

Several of my fellow new grads cannot find work either! One has his CNA and plenty of practical experience and he's not having any luck. ARGH.

I've also noticed many nursing/rehabilitation homes have nurses in street clothes...............WTF? I want to wear scrubs!! One of the perks of being a nurse is wearing scrubs. I know they are going for 'homelike' environments but jeesh! Come on. Scrubs are easy and wash out well and are COMFY. I think they look more professional as well.

Last year at this time I was sweating finals for the first qrt of the nursing program. I kinda miss it. At least my brain was occupied. I did not spend 24/7 in the same house with Grumpy either. 3 months of spending time with Grumpy is turning me into crazy psychotic one(in my own head).

Let's just say I'm screaming like a maniac to get OUT of here for 8 hours a day if not more!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I'm going back to school. I will spend time at the Career Center choosing a different goal...

NAW! I'm going to work on my resume. I need a grabber. You know, like a glittery area of words to grab Director of Nurses' attention. Glittery is metaphorical here. No glitter glue on my PROFESSIONAL resume.

Hmmmm maybe I should glitter the dog, just for something fun to do. Pupples would look wonderful in a glittery blue doncha think? Cuz pitbulls just LURVE when you mess with 'em.

I'll be back. Soon. Stay safe and keep the faith!!(ohhhhhhh, I'm a poet!!)

Things I Used to Do

2009-11-23T16:17:00.001-08:00

Here is another list about what I used to do before we were destitute and pathetic:

1. buy fruit out of season i.e.precut mango slices.

2. order books from Amazon whenever I felt like it.

3. get a pedicure once a month.

4. get my hair cut and colored every 5 weeks.

5. replace worn out clothing like underwear and socks without a second thought.

6. decorate my family room with ETSY.com originals.

7. put high octane gas into my car.

8. fill the pantry with snacks and easy to make food.

9. fill fridge with pop, juice, and Evian.

10. buy TV Guide and Newsweek weekly.

11. go out to dinner every two weeks or so.

12. go to lunch with girlfriends at trendy restaurants.

13. sleep soundly(or rather more soundly than now)

14. ate meat 1-2 times a week (now we be po' folk vegetarians).

15. took daily naps w/o guilt (now I should be looking for a job 24/7).

16. spent a helluva less time with my spouse (this one I really miss).

What does the recession cause you to miss?

Yesterdays' News

2009-11-20T20:30:00.000-08:00

You know you're OLD when...

...you were born before Nixon died.

...listening to the radio used to be a major source of entertainment.

...you're irritated by the fact your kids cannot turn their cell phone off~never, ever.

...the recession of the late 1970's seemed easier than the current one.

...the Jeffersons was a current, cutting edge television show.

...M*A*S*H was THE funniest show you'd ever seen.

...you remember The Family Hour on television and the worst words allowed were freaking and darn.

...Michael Jackson was alive and still black.

...The Cold War was a scary smear on your consciousness.

...the word transgender was not invented yet.

...Transvestites were completely an unknown entity.

...the guy who invented Facebook was not even a twinkle in his daddy's eyes.

...a Princess phone was the coolest Christmas present for any teenage girl.

Add some of your own...............................

By Dykewife::

1 CommentClose this window Jump to comment form
dykewife said...
you saw the moon landing while in class at school.

your first experience with a computer involved punch cards.

getting a colour television made you the most popular kid on the block.

interfacing was called playing with your friends outside.

three speed bikes were high tech.

you could buy a chocolate bar, bubble gum and a pop for a quarter.

you do one of these :)

November 21, 2009 6:28 PM

Wait and See

2009-11-17T13:17:00.000-08:00

My new life manifesto song by Brandon Heath...

I know exactly how he feels! wink

Wait And See
I was born in Tennessee
Late July humidity
Doctor said I was lucky to be alive

I’ve been trouble since the day that I got here
Trouble till the day that I disappear
That’ll be the day that I finally get it right

There is hope for me yet
Because God won’t forget
All the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see
He’s not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school
I talked too much, broke the rules
Teacher thought I was hopeless fool alright

I don’t know how but I made it through
It’s one of those things that you’ve gotta do
But I always had a knack for telling the truth

Chorus

Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on I go
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something

So now’s my time to be a man
Follow my heart as far as I can
No telling where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart it’s one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight

Sucks to Be ME

2009-11-15T20:57:00.000-08:00

glitter-graphics.com

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone thinks that.

Everyone thinks about themselves.

I think at some point in every one's life they sink to the bottom. I remember doing bobs in the deep end of the pool for hours and hours in the summer.

I'd touch bottom then sprung up to jump out of the water for one cystalline second...

SPLASH! Back in the water like a fish!

I cannot see the top of the water at this particular moment.

No job. ALL ask applicant to be "fully graduated of a post-grad program" which only exists in those places that want to spend the time and money to train someone in phlebotomy and ivs and other assorted actions I was not taught in the LPN program.

Hmmmmmmm, no one ever told me~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was gonna be easy.

But jeezo no one ever warned of how rough things can get either.

Nothing Much

2009-11-12T20:50:00.000-08:00

No answers to applications. I'm going to need to bet some real world clothes and go out on foot to apply in person. OY.

I HATE buying clothes. Nothing fits the right way. I have no idea what kind if clothes to get. I have a serious budget issue so I may be hitting GoodWill. I found a dress for graduation for $8 at Ross so I am sure I can find something more professional than mommy for under $100.

Everything else is pretty much the same. Spouse is racheting up the stress factor. Not on purpose. It's just how he gets.

And the days keep coming and going.

My Wierd Life

2009-11-08T21:33:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here with a 45 pound pit bull on my left side, hogging the warm air from my laptop fan and he sleeps, barely fitting on the width of the couch. He wakes up once in a while and I rub his pink belly. He's a blue nose/pink nose pit bull so his nose is black with a bit of pink above it and his belly is tinted pink.

My spouse is in bed, asleep by 9p.m. He'll be awake at 5a.m. because I was too dumb to notice his biorhythms while we were dating. I'm opposite in the sleep/wake cycle of life.

I filled out several job applications this weekend. I'm 47 and have NO experience looking for jobs or being interviewed. My many hours in PTA, and little league board and soccer mom and classroom volunteer extraordinaire did little to prepare me socially for the working world.

As most of you know I struggled greatly in the past year when it came to keeping my mouth shut, learning from listening instead of interaction, to NOT ask questions that made me seem too intelligent or as my director saw it, a little miss know it all.

If I stay quiet people think I'm judging or stuck up, if I open my mouth they know I'm an idiot cuz I can't stop myself from saying too much or saying something in a manner many people misunderstand up here in the Northwest. My East Coast/Midwest friends get sarcasm, no one here really does. After 20 years here I understand that. I have toned it down 98%.

I think I need manners lessons. Seriously. Or deportment. Because I cannot change my entire personality, I know cuz I have tried. I know I don't fit in here very well but it's where I am. Anyone have expertise in giving one a lobotomy????

AGAIN~~WHY??

2009-11-05T14:23:00.001-08:00

RIP

Those killed at Food Hood

November 5, 2009

God Bless and heal the wounded,

both mentally and physically.

Thanks for The Support

2009-11-02T21:17:00.000-08:00

My friends and silent supporters,

THANK YOU!

Thank you for reading.
Thank you for the empathy.
Thank you for merely showing up.

Without your support I could not have achieved my goals.

You held me up when I needed.
You made me laugh when I despaired.
You hugged me when I was sad, defeated, and ready to quit.

This is our success. I share it with you.

Thank you for being my friends.

To answer a question or two.....
Yes, I have plans to get my R.N. and my B.S.N. This is off in the future sometime when we have funding and experience. If things go the way I have dreamed I'll be in college in some capacity for the rest of my life.

I can't answer exactly how the NCLEX questions were different from what I expected. I'd like to keep my brand new license. :P I expected what the books said. I used Mosby's review book the most but I also dipped into Davis and a friend's book. Syntax was different that I was familiar with and critical thinking was needed to answer the questions. Who knew? SNERK.

Go in a good attitude, in a calm mood, and know the worst that can happen is to flunk. No one in my class has flunked. I had a class of 23 and I'm not sure how some of them made it through first quarter let alone boards. Know your facts but be ready to read each question twice before you hit the answer.

You folks are RADICALLY COOL. Thanks a million.

Extra Letters

2009-10-30T14:40:00.000-07:00

Janice Reijnaert, L.P.N.

Test Talk

2009-10-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

well, well, well I learn for over a year how to take the test.

I get to the testing center.

I read first question.....................

First thought: THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE 5000 QUESTIONS I HAVE BEEN DOING!!!!!

I did my best.

I do not know if I did well.

I don't know if I sucked wind.

Find out Friday.

I'm proud of myself no matter what.

I got this far didn't I? wink, wink, nudge, nudge......................snerk

NCLEX DAY

2009-10-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Alternating

2009-10-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

I'm alternating between total despair at possible failure and studying and procrastinating and watching my family being total imbeciles(in various ways).

I don't want to be stuck at home anymore. I want a job. I want to feel useful. I need to think about more than myself because frankly, I'm a terrible subject to contemplate. :P

Pharmacology, pediatrics, med/surg + care of the aged, basics, OB + newborn care, cancer which is where I get all CONFUZZLED about chemo versus anti-neoplastic meds, mental health, psychosocial and safety first.

Still having anxiety dreams. Not fun nor very restful. I wish Dr. Grumpy would come and tell me funny bedtime stories. I could use some laughs.

I'm praying that all of you are enjoying your weekend much more than I am not enjoying mine........whine.

BURIED!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-21T18:57:00.001-07:00

ACK!!!!!!!!! Six days left to study!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Suspended Animation

2009-10-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

Just hanging out and waiting for the NCLEX test next week. Sigh.

I don't do well without some kind of schedule. Class schedule, work schedule, something planned. My life has been pretty amorphous since August 14.

I think I've melding & become one with my couch. Kinda makes my butt look ginormous. Like it needs help to look bigger? Pfttttttttttttttttt.

My brain feels like jelly. It is still working but aimed at the NCLEX info. Which is getting dull.

My IQ is going blahblahblah...............

Two More Weeks

2009-10-14T19:25:00.000-07:00

Two weeks from now I should be finishing up my NCLEX-PN test so I can get my nursing license. I cannot wait. I have seen more of my spouse and kids that I ever planned on or wanted. I miss my home alone time.

They will not let me work as a nurse without that pesky license. I WANT a job just so I am out of the house!!! That's the first time I've ever said that. LOL.

I've been practicing test questions from one of the 3 CDs I have on my laptop. 5000 different NCLEX questions. Wahoo. 3 different CD all with different emphasis'.

I like the Mosby one because I am brilliant on that one. I get 95% on all topics. My nursing school director advised me to get this review along with the Davis version.

Much to my surprise I remember at least 90% of what I was taught this past year. I will have to go over some lab values, the 4 different kinds of shock, dosage math, but I am great with the pharm, gerontology, mental health, pediatrics, most of med/surg. I really do have a brain!! Those nasty nursing teachers had me thinking I was impossibly stupid. Phew, thank the good Lord I am outta there!!!!

As far as I know only 2 students from my class have taken the test. I'm not on the gossip chain so I could be misinformed. I wasn't in class to make friends. I was focused on learning and then just trying not to f*** up in clinicals.

Did I ever tell the story of the catheter I put in an elderly female where I was behind her with 2 nurses holding her legs and I needed a flashlight to find where to place it? Remind me to tell ya that one some day. Amusing now........snerk.

I hope you're out there lurking since I don't get many comments. I'm not leaving many either so I get it. HUGS and love to all.