tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42626271256430807332009-11-13T06:24:17.546-08:00Follow One Woman's Journey From Insecure Heterosexual Housewife to Confident Lesbian Motherbutterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-65700971845942953912009-11-13T06:17:00.000-08:002009-11-13T06:24:17.556-08:00

It was interesting, last night I received an email that upset me a lot and I suddenly was desperate to write here again, but for the life of me couldn't remember my password to get in! So I spent the rest of the night going nuts at blogger because it wouldn't let me in! Obviously being emotional and overtired didn't help my case, considering I tried just 3 times today and I found my way in again!

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-81956151093746210162009-05-04T03:43:00.000-07:002009-05-04T04:10:02.979-07:00

I'm about to go out of my mind!!! Why can't they just go quiet at bedtime! I don't insist they sleep immediately... but they keep asking for me constantly! If it was just I want waters or I'm colds I'd be ok... but they are calling me to tell me things they could have told me 1 hour ago when we were having family time!!!!!grrr. I really need some grown up time!Man! Even after posting to say how

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-2577976726856983812009-03-09T08:27:00.000-07:002009-03-09T08:29:13.303-07:00

Just had to add that one quick little thing in before I go to bed (yes I'm up past 12am... got an aversion to sleep!)I can't believe she is already 8 - wow that time went fast!

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-63491470292511254382009-03-09T08:15:00.000-07:002009-03-09T08:20:01.962-07:00

Sorry, been distracted by life and missed out on blogging about experiences that this blog was set up to blog about! Nothing too exciting... but very slow steps towards 'getting out there'.Will write about them at a later point (really late now).I've recently joined up on 43Things and just saw the option for sending posts from there to your blog. Since I've been writing there everynight, I

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-69459603393353518282008-11-05T03:07:00.000-08:002008-11-05T03:19:13.433-08:00

I've been trying to stick to a very strict routine this week. For the beginning and the end of the day there is no problems... but I tend to become unglued through out the day. Especially on days like today when I have  a headache. I get them regularly and I know if I push myself too much the headache will last for days, but if I cut right back for a day it should go away. Still feel bad that I'm

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-62088650896067043752008-11-04T01:57:00.000-08:002008-11-04T02:21:22.414-08:00

Sorry I disappeared off the radar there for a while, I promise I wasn't ignoring responses, I just haven't been back to this site at all since my last post. Life got a bit in the way, and totally distracted me away from blogging.I'm actually busier than ever now. My son is going through a really bad patch right now so I'm nearly always completely stressed. In the last 3 weeks he has had screaming

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-46212343528230469172008-08-17T09:36:00.000-07:002008-08-17T09:49:35.566-07:00

My cousin is back from overseas. Since she is a lesbian with a 11 year old daughter I thought she could probably give me a lot of advice. Especially on how to come out to the family and how they reacted at the time. I know she came out when I was still in high school, but being at boarding school and a self involved teenager I wasn't really paying that much attention. Having a complete belief

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-81411932107262535242008-07-30T22:03:00.001-07:002008-07-30T22:09:42.887-07:00

Well, I'm still not quite hyped about getting my house up to scratch, but wow did my walk do wonders!My son & I went on a walking track quite close to us. They have recently sealed a old walking track that goes through the bush along a creek and it goes for 1.5kms. We walked for half an hour (thought any longer would be too much for 5 year old legs).It was such a lovely walk. For ages I've said I

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-44147093763537863922008-07-30T17:38:00.001-07:002008-07-30T17:48:39.053-07:00

Ever since February I've totally lost focus - but lately it is even worse. I just can't seem to get my arse into gear. I've been even more despondent I guess because of the stress of my ex stopping his mortgage payments.I don't know what we are going to do next month because mum just can't help me - she doesn't have enough herself.And I'm also stressing because it seems that my ex won't agree to

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-56248127859255216262008-07-29T23:16:00.000-07:002008-07-29T23:32:12.923-07:00

I could understand getting excited about seeing a Kookaburra if I wasn't from Australia, or even if I lived closer to the city therefore rarely saw one.But I live in outer suburbs where there is bushland a short walk away. We hear kookaburras quite often and have had them in our backyard over 10 times that I have noticed.So why is it that everytime I see one I call for the kids to come have a

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-13781560225709083092008-07-18T02:07:00.001-07:002008-07-18T02:08:40.915-07:00

Another classic from my son!He was actually asking for the smarties! We don't have them often enough for him to have picked up what they are called!

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-8084642302042582922008-07-15T16:36:00.000-07:002008-07-15T17:23:40.622-07:00

It's so weird. I actually feel more weird about it than when I told the 5 of my friends that know now.In fact those 5 friends were so cool about it, I didn't feel sick after telling them at all - just relief and happiness that I can have a conversation about future plans without having to be careful of what I am saying.But I can tell with a few people, I'll still feel worried after telling them -

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-11557846305286029012008-07-12T00:56:00.000-07:002008-07-12T01:02:25.572-07:00

Ok, so I mentioned that I'm having a girl's night tonight. Of course - this includes drinks. Problem?None, except for the fact that under the influence I always seem to get the urge to share secrets that I really don't need to share.It will even be harder tonight because two of the girls coming, I'm already out to. The other one coming is a really close friend that I want to tell, but I'm not

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-1420224155978733142008-07-11T21:35:00.000-07:002008-07-11T21:41:32.851-07:00

Well, my kids are at their dads again so I'm all on my lonesome!I've actually organised for a few friends to come over this evening. I've got one definite and 3 most likelys. Unfortunately tonight is the last Saturday of the holidays so most people have got something on, but even if it is just me and one friend it will be a fun night. Much better than sitting here all on my lonesome.I plan to

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-42776844324635501822008-07-11T05:44:00.000-07:002008-07-11T06:42:55.950-07:00

I'm kind of upset right now at my ex. I was planning on doing a big rant because he just told me he is going to stop paying his side of the mortgage from this month because he needs the money for his 'legal team' (god he sounded pretentious when he said that!). So I'm left having to accept help from my parents again - which they really don't need because my stepfather just came out of hospital!

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-47640982373722715652008-07-10T20:08:00.000-07:002008-07-10T20:13:03.967-07:00

"Dirty hoe""Cats always land on their pussy""I'll get you and it will look like a bloody accident"Now tell me... do these lines sound like they belong in a children's movie??? Luckily most of it goes over my kids heads but they did pick up on that last line and think it is hilarious. They keep saying it over and over again. I'm hoping if I ignore them saying it, they'll lose interest.And that

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-67781122686920949622008-07-09T17:01:00.000-07:002008-07-09T18:59:14.896-07:00

I was just looking out my kitchen window and saw two ducks in my backyard! I have never seen ducks here before. I live in the outer suburbs so it is a bit more leafy than the inner suburbs, but I don't have a pool for them to be interested in and to my knowledge there isn't a pool in my surrounding neighbors places!When I went outside to get a picture of them they waddled all the way to my back

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-49304561952915588412008-07-08T11:26:00.000-07:002008-07-09T19:00:53.174-07:00

What the hell is wrong with me? Is there some sort of support group for idiots that just won't get themselves to bed on time despite knowing they have to get up early and have no chance for a day nap because they are entertaining children who are antsy because it is the 2nd week of school holidays?I'm going to bed... and in the morning I'll have a gazillion beroccas and call my mum with lots of

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-26679265138795066992008-07-07T19:55:00.000-07:002008-07-09T18:59:41.550-07:00

I swear my son is in training to be a comedian today!He was just playing in my loungeroom (my very recently cleaned and lovely smelling loungeroom btw), and came running out saying.."ewww, smells like feet"He had to have gotten that line from tv too considering I don't remember his feet ever smelling bad!

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-50067726730187084362008-07-07T17:40:00.001-07:002008-07-09T19:01:15.235-07:00

My son has a really bad cough at the moment, but still in good (cheeky) spirits. So a short while ago after a short bout of coughing, he stopped looked at me and said "hairball". I cracked up and asked him if he said what I thought he said. His answer... "from Cat in the Hat".He really is funny at times!

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-26378959752153200122008-07-07T17:18:00.000-07:002008-07-09T19:01:31.886-07:00

My son is a never ending source of amusement. Upon me handing him his sisters "Bratz" towel after he got out of the shower, he dropped it and started to run around the house naked saying..."Run for your life... the aliens are coming..."Now it could just be because that line comes from a Bratz movie...but it could also show his view on Bratz overall!Either way, I think he is watching too much tv.

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-51926523323692729962008-07-07T08:17:00.000-07:002008-07-09T19:01:55.076-07:00

In a recent post I was questioning why I wanted to come out now so much. After all, I've been separated now for 6 months - why didn't I get the urge sooner?It was only today at a friends house that I figured it out. I don't want to lie by omission.So often in conversations these days I end up talking about moving on and my plans for years to come... and I just hate the way I have to state things.

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-61878488714649207912008-07-06T06:18:00.000-07:002008-07-06T06:35:06.735-07:00

There are a few tv shows that I love, but it so happens that 3 of them aren't what kids should walk in on.Dexter, Queer as Folk & The L Word.My problem? I have pretty much an open plan house and my son's bedroom opens off the loungeroom - and he can't go to sleep with his door closed.So I have to wait till both kids have fallen asleep, then watch my show. Unfortunately this doesn't normally

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-17283198719463356732008-07-05T20:59:00.000-07:002008-07-05T21:05:22.046-07:00

This is the sort of statement I hear regularly...My son was just  playing outside and comes running inside yelling "Mummy, I cut my finger off - I need a bandaid!"Of course it ended up being a tiny scratch that really didn't need a bandaid at all. However my son is entirely able to get himself in a situation where he could cut his finger off - so any of his statements like this give me mild heart

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4262627125643080733.post-41873359248459213142008-07-05T06:47:00.000-07:002008-07-05T20:46:21.677-07:00

I'm so frustrated! I've been considering calling one of my cousins for advice for quite a while now. She is a lesbian, out and has a 11 year old daughter and as far as I know is totally accepted by the whole family. So she is the perfect person for me to talk to. However until recently I've been hesitant to tell anyone in the family just in case everyone found out before I was ready. My cousin's

butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09228100116773867422noreply@blogger.com1