Stateline Roller Derby Divas

Fun for all.

2009-11-09T17:29:00.000-08:00

As we end our second season, we welcome new members. We are a family who accepts everyone no matter your skating ability. Join our team, we're always recruiting skaters, refs, volunteers, and fans. Come and join in on all the fun.

Whip It Diva Style!

2009-09-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

Join your Stateline Roller Derby Divas for opening night of Whip It.

When: October 2nd

Where: Wildwood Movies 10 Theater Janesville, Wi

Time: Theater lobby at 6:30pm $8.00

Whip It! Premier Party with the Divas

2009-09-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Join the Divas as we celebrate the opening of Drew Barrymore's new roller derby movie. Ask us your pressing derby questions or just stop by and meet your favorite Diva. And if you decide you'd like to join us, we'll help you get started.

When: October 2, 2009 from 6:30-9 pm
Where: Wildwood Movies 10 Theater, 3100 Deerfield Dr., Janesville, WI 53546
How Much: Meeting the Divas is FREE; movie admission is $8 for adults and $6 for kids
For more info: (608) 743-0200 (about the movie)
http://www.statelinedivas.com (about the Divas)

Can't make this event but might want to join us? Check out our "Skate with the Divas" event at the Skatin' Station in Beloit on October 25. Divas will be there from 5-7 pm to explain the sport and get you rolling. Event is FREE!

Labor Day Parade in Janesville, Wi

2009-09-04T18:02:00.001-07:00

Come one, come all!

Everyone loves a parade.

The Stateline Roller Derby Divas will be walking, riding, and skating in the annual Janesville Labor Day Parade, Monday Sept 7th 2009. The Parade will start at 1pm, travel east on Milwaukee , cross the river then turn south on Main st.

We look forward to seeing you out there.

Derby Divas skating to empowerment

2009-08-31T18:07:00.001-07:00

Beloit Daily News - your source for news, entertainment, sports, opinion, events, community, shopping and more > News > Local News

Story Published in the Beloit Daily News 8/31/09

By Hilary Dickinson
hdickinson@beloitdailynews.com

Published: Monday, August 31, 2009 11:39 AM CDT

There’s a place where a mild-mannered English teacher can become the “L’Iterate Her” and where the girl-next-door waitress becomes “Tally Turmoil.”

That place was Saturday night at the Skatin Station on Inman Parkway in Beloit, where the Stateline Roller Derby Divas competed with the Lafayette Brawlin’ Dolls in a fast-paced, knock-down race on wheels.

Even though the Divas lost to the Dolls 109-124, the all women’s flat track roller derby team insists they’re just looking for an alternative outlet to have some serious competition while also having fun.

“I like knocking down people and then getting cocktails afterward,” said team captain, “Tally Turmoil,” who said she joined the team as a way to meet people after she moved to Rockford.

In real life, Turmoil is easy going and chats away like she’s your best friend. On skates, however, she’s a scowling baddie who goes by the motto “Trouble is spelled T-A-L-L-Y.”

In fact, all the players go by tough names and catchy — yet often unprintable — slogans.

Jodie Schmidt a.k.a. “Tough Schmidt,” for instance, carries the catchphrase: “If you don’t like my skating call 1-800-Tough- SCHMIDT.”

Though Schmidt wore funky glasses and a punked-out blue uniform, she’s a friendly mother who plays alongside her daughter.

“It’s empowering to play a character, and for someone to have a profession you wouldn’t think correlates,” said Turmoil, who didn’t break character by revealing her real name.

Yet, the race didn’t just consist of the 14 women aged 19-45 skating around in short skirts, fishnets, colorfully checkered tights and glittery make-up to the backdrop of ‘70s music.

“There’s strategy too,” said “Eddie Lizzard,” a referee from Madison who was taking pictures Saturday night. “It’s not just girls bashing into each other.”

The two half-hour rounds flew by almost as fast as the Divas skate, but the game is a little incomprehensible if you’re new to the world of roller derby.

Amongst the frequent falling and mayhem, the game consists of two-minute “jam” sessions where the appropriately named “jammer” tears through the pack and scores points by passing members of the opposing team.

“It’s fun, fast, athletic. And it involves hitting people legitimately,” said Lizzard. “It’s like hockey and NASCAR on roller skates with skirts.”

Roller derby involves sweat and the ability to swiftly skate, but the team doesn’t require auditions and they will teach anyone over 18 and out of high school how to skate, Turmoil said.

“We take any skill level, shape or size, and turn them into a derby girl,” she said.

The Divas also insist that roller derby from the ‘70s is now just a stereotype.

Not only did the roller derby races of yesteryear take place on bank tracks, today’s derbies are different because they’re not choreographed like wrestling, they’re less showy, and they’re more about the sport of competition than about fighting.

Though Turmoil said a rookie suffered a compression fracture in her back and another broke her leg, all teams carry insurance and new members are taught how to play safely. Plus, no fights break out anymore and if they do, they get thrown out immediately, said Lizzard, who added that teams are working towards becoming more mainstream.

Roller derby teams have popped up all over the country, and Wisconsin is also home to Milwaukee’s Brewcity Bruisers and Madison’s Mad Rollin’ Dolls.

Though the Divas, who were originally formed in Rockford in 2007, are not nationally ranked and are not competing in a championship, they’re eager for people to learn about roller derby and are excited about the sport’s exposure in the upcoming Drew Barrymore-directed movie Whip It.

“People don’t even know there’s a roller rink here let alone a derby team,” Turmoil said.

The skater-owned team that pays dues and takes sponsorships have competed in five or six bouts since January. Their next and final bout of the season will be in Chicago next month where they’ll be competing against The Chicago Outfit. At the end of the season, they will also donate a portion of their profits to a charity.

“It’s a positive sport with a positive influence on the community,” Turmoil said.

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Tickets on Sale Now!!

2009-08-07T15:19:00.000-07:00

Tickets are on sale now for the last home bout of our 2009 season.

Your Stateline Roller Derby Divas are taking on the Lafayette Brawlin' Dolls from Lafayette, In.

When: Saturday, August 29th - Doors open at 6:30, bout starts at 7
Where: The Skatin' Station, 1230 Inman Pkwy, Beloit, WI 53511
Tickets: Contact your favorite derby girl to purchase your tickets in person or visit our website at http://www.statelinedivas.com. Click on the "Contact Us" tab and drop us an email for online ordering instructions.

Prizes will be awarded for the best fifties/Grease costume, so pull out that poodle skirt and come on down!

Come one, Come all

2009-05-04T15:39:00.000-07:00

2009-04-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

My First Bout
By Violet Assault

March 21st 2009

This is the big day. This is what all my hard work, sweat and tears have been for. Feeling like I don't completely know what the heck I'm doing or really what to expect, but having a really good group of women behind me. That helped push me and give me the basics to do what it is they know I can. For them I am completely grateful.

The drive up wasn't so bad. I brought along a bag just in case I decided to get sick. I had purposely tried not to think about my first bout knowing I would get myself worked up about it. We made it to the hotel with not much time to spare. So I visited with a few people, and gave DD and Red the gifts my girls had sent. Now the sick feeling started to kick in.

3:45pm, time to get dressed. 4:15pm, time to head to the venue. We get there, so many people. Oh Lord! What am I doing? Vermicious Knid asked if I would like some pizza. Pizza! How can you think of eating at a time like this? I am so going to toss my cookies at any minute.

Ok, it's game time. Alright Violet, put your game face on. Time to get focused. You can do this. Let's go. This floor is a little bit different to skate on but not so bad. So the first jam goes well. Second jam. I'm up. Oh my god! Here I go. Violet get in there and block your ass off. First whistle!Second Whistle! Here we go Divas! This isn't so bad. One time around the track. Two times around the track. Third time around here comes a skater from the Regiment. Block her! Block Her! Oh crap! Back block. No! No! Violet to the box! It's not so bad, right? She went down. That was so much fun. I can go again Trash Kitty. Put me in. Yes! We won!

That bout was so awesome. It's such a rush. I love my derby family.

Live Hard! Play Hard!
Violet Assault

Mark Your Calendars!

2009-03-28T10:01:00.001-07:00

Buy Your Tickets Online Now!!

Inspiring the Future

2009-03-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

Thank you to Girl Scout troop 448 for coming to visit us on Jan 20th. We were very happy to show you how you can work as a team and be strong women.

Friday Night in the Quad Cities

2009-01-25T10:17:00.001-08:00

by Bombadee #00

Val Cappone from the Windy City Rollers announced for four leagues split into two teams; red and black with myself and Literate Her #44 on the Black team and DD Hunter #12ga., Ms. Quik #77, Hot Pepper #68, Redneck #1980, & the Warrior #217 on the Red team. The bout coordinator in Quad Cities did a wonderful job of splitting the teams up. Every league had ladies on both sides and the talent wasn't lopsided making for a very exciting and close bout.

Despite team Red screaming out of the pack with a 15 point jam at the top of the bout by the end of period one team black was 20 points ahead. Period two team Black kept their lead until I (yes, all my fault) got knocked out of bounds in the last jam and thought the person that knocked me out also went out of bounds and hit the floor and so I jumped back on the track in front of them earning myself a one minute stay in the penalty box with a cardboard cutout of G.W. Bush while the unopposed red jammer nearly tied up the game ending period two 98 to 97.

Just before the last period team Red all put their hands in and chanted something and threw their hands towards the heavens like one cohesive machine on 112 wheels while team black lounged around on their bench and sweated. I was worried my team we may have lost heart, but if we had it didn't matter, we had enough skill to pull ahead little by little, scoring 4 - 5 points each play, calling it (ending the play) and restarting with a fresh jammer every couple of minutes during the last period. The short plays were welcome as some of the heaviest hits were landed during the last period. My legs weren't listening to what I was telling them anymore, especially after getting sent into the chairs skates first landing in Tally Turmoil's lap. Moments after finding my way back onto the track I took a hit from Jen Detta's shoulder square in the chest. It was so hard I'm pretty sure it may have chopped 4 seconds off of the end of my life (I'm ok Mom, no permanent marks, really.) The short jam strategy worked to our advantage in the end and the Black and Bruise Sisters won by 20-ish points. Final score 150-ish to 130-ish*.

To the crowd's pleasure there was a fight in the last four seconds of the bout. Just before the clock wound down a blocker form our side and a jammer from their side went down right in front of our bench and then it was all a flury of red and black swinging and kicking with referee stripes zooming in from all directions to pulling them apart. The fight, lasting a whole three seconds, will I'm sure be what the crowd remembers the longest, however I will remember how much fun and how sweet everyone was to us. Thank you ladies.

*I'm not sure why I can never catch the score and remember it at the end of a bout. I think something about the roller derby makes me revert to using the primal part of my brain and the rest slows down to make room for fight or flight fun. Honestly it sometimes takes an hour or so for me to be able to answer questions intelligently after a bout (and sometimes even practice.) I sometimes say "Helmet on Brain off" to explain my bewilderment to newer team mates who ask me to further explain the strategy behind plays that just happened.

The Warrior, Me & Val Cappone

Jammers: Sugar & Slice, Pink Taco, Me, the Warrior & Ms. Quik

Red White and Bruise 1-23-09 Davenport, IA

Quad City Rollers Host Derby Action

2009-01-15T13:37:00.001-08:00

Come out and see a few of your Stateline Divas play in a Red and Blue Bout, This coming Friday, January 23rd in Davenport, Iowa.

Doors open at 6:30, action starts at 7:00

Game will be played at Beyond the Baseline 1540 w 12th street, Davenport, Iowa.

$10.00 at the door.
Children 12 and under free.
For advance ticket info contact one of your friendly Divas
bombadee@statelinedivas.com
ddhunter@statelinedivas.com

Mid Iowa Rollers vs Omaha Rollergirls

2008-09-30T14:59:00.001-07:00

By Bombadee #00

Me and my skatey ladies Tally Turmoil, Redneck B. Yotch and Jackie O'No are traveling out to Des Moines this Saturday night to sub for the Mid Iowa Rollers against the Omaha Rollergirls. I'm excited to be bouting, I'm on my third season and Tally, Red and Jackie are beginning their second seasons so we are used to skating together and Mid Iowa played against us twice last season, we won one at home and they won one at their house, so the skill level is about the same. It's be especially nice because we have a slew of new skaters on the Divas this season and it'll be a few months at least before we are able to even scrimmage against each other even in practice. (I'll be fine Mom - I promise)

***

First of all can I say the room MIR gave us was wonderful. I slept like a rock and I'm sure I would've even had I not had 3 beers and 2 shots, skated in a bout that evening and danced until I almost dropped at the afterbout party. We played hard and it was a fairly tight game with the score at 39 - 51 at the end of the first period. In the second period Omaha pulled ahead by quite a bit, we were serving penalties like crazy and had a few jams with our jammer in penalty. I bonked my cheek bone on the top of someone's helmet when we both went down and iced it in between jams but no mark, just a little tender to the touch and I kept playing anyway. Coach Big Truck gave us some solid advice and in the third period and C-Tal Fa-Tal (MIR jammer) grabbed lead jammer a couple of times scoring as well as holding off Omaha's jammer and stopping their rampant scoring. Final score was something like 82 - 140 (I'll have to double check on that.) It was a great match up, lots of passion (I think Disturb Ya #420 broke her thumb she was playing so hard), no major injuries and many smiles, bruises and high fives afterward.

Cancer Sucks

2008-09-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Season 2

2008-09-05T10:17:00.000-07:00

Well ladies, I would like to welcome everyone to the beginning of our second season. As most of you know we have had a few shake ups over our summer break, but we have filled in the cracks and are smoothing the way.

First of I would like to congratulate our new officers and board members.
President: Bombadee
Vice President: Vamp Helsing
Secretary: Tally Turmoil
Finance Officer: Racy Tracy
Athletic Director: Redneck B Yotch
Creative Director: DD Hunter
Sk8er Reps: L'Iterate Her, Kiesha Rass Goodbye & Jackie O'No

We have a recruitment party coming up on Sunday Sept 14th from 5 to 7 at the Skatin' Station 1230 Inman Pkwy. Beloit, WI 53511. Everyone one is welcome whether you are interesting in skating, reffing or coaching, skate rentals are available. Please come out for this meet and greet, and who knows, maybe even get your skate on.

DD Hunter 12ga

The Divas Take on the North Star Roller Girls.

2008-07-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

by D.D. Hunter

June 28th 2008, Beloit Wisconsin.

The day started out like any normal summer day in the Midwest. The sun was bright, there was very little humidity with a light breeze. It was a picture perfect day. All across the Stateline area women were spending a few moments with family and friends. Other women however, had violence on the brain. As the storm clouds darkened the horizon bringing short down pours these women counted down the minutes till they strapped on their wheels.

Five o'clock rolls around, skaters, refs and volunteers converge on the Skating Station. Tonight there are no bleacher's needed, no kids to shoo off, the rink belongs only to the Derby Community. In no time the chairs are set, the track is up.

Six o'clock the doors open, friends and family start to trickle in. The North Star girls start their warm up. The Divas suit up. Pads are donned, skates are laced up and tied. Wait, there is an envelope in with someone's derby gear. One of our founding members opens her skate bag and finds a card...."Awe" we say, "That is so sweet, you have a good man." everyone's attention is on the card when Annsanity says "What's this?" as she picks up a small pink wrapped package. "Where did this come from?" Boom Boom has a questioning look on her face as she unwraps a small box. Slowly the lid is opened and her eyes become as big as saucers, she slams the box closed with a gasp and runs across the rink to properly thank Mr. Martini. What is all the fuss? several girls who didn't see the action ask. Mr. Martini had hid a HUGE ring in her skate bag.

Okay, time to focus. It's seven o'clock, Whitney Houston makes a rare public appearance to sing our National Anthem. Bob Noxious from Madison's Mad Rollin' Dolls and Cracked Pepper of the North Star Roller Girls join our own announcer Sac Scratch to introduce the skaters for tonights battle.

The stage is set, the first line up of girls are on the starting line. The whistle blows, and the final Bout of our Inaugural season is on the way.

From here on out everything to me was a blur. I remember trying to get my jammers through an impenetrable wall of green jerseys. We skated like a team, but our strategy just wasn't working against the blocking skills of the North Stars. After the first twenty minutes we had to change the game plan. Pack speed was to become our ally, we needed to control her to get our girls through.

At the end of the second period we had gained more points, but we still had a way to go. We had a lot of hard hits, the fan's in the suicide seats were getting their money's worth. We had skaters sliding under the score and time keepers table. We had a jammer break her plate, tempers were rising, but the camaraderie of sisters was still there. Split the pack, let them get 20 feet away, was still the game plan. The chest area is a legal place to hit Maiden Korea. (Who by the way skated almost the entire bout backwards!) These words became our mantras.

The third period begins, the second jam in, one of our girls goes down. Head referee Machete Holiday, on loan from the Brew City Bruisers, tells everyone to take a knee. Our EMT on duty, Ron James, is called out to where Velvet Vendetta is curled up on the track clutching her knee. The rink falls silent in respect as everyone waits to see if she will get up. Unfortunately she doesn't. Velvet is lifted up and carried off the track to applause. She skated, and she skated hard. Line them up and here we go again. The last period continues, the hits are as hard as ever, and the pack is fast. As the last seconds tick by I still don't know what the score is. The last whistle blows and North Star is declared the winning team.

A great bunch of girls take the track one last time as a team for the night to make their victory lap. Everyone is smiling a flood of "great game"s, "you were awesome"s, and "thank you"s can be heard as we shake hands in the tradition of every little league game.

Then the North Star Roller Girls show us and our fans the true meaning of Sports-woman-ship. They tell us to take a victory lap.

Even though the score board said one thing at that moment every girl who had the nerve to strap on a pair of skates in the past year as a Diva was a winner!

After the game was played and the rink cleaned, we all headed out to Mick and Tony's. Tony as always had plenty of food for a crowd of hungry Derby Girls. We partied, drank, broke out the whipped cream for body shots and a few brave souls from both teams played sand volleyball in a down pour. Several of our team mates, referees and volunteers went home that night looking like sugar cookies.

At the end of the night I still did not know what the final score was, and to me it doesn't matter. I was apart of a hard hitting, fast skating game. Even now when I think back on this game the last thing I even think about is the numbers on the board. I remember the respect and sportsmanship. I remember women coming together as strangers, only to part as sisters. I remember the smiles and the hugs and the tears that we had done it.

We are Derby Girls, this bout was what we had worked so hard to achieve.

Viva La Divas!!!

North Star Roller Girls: 124

Stateline Roller Derby Divas: 33

-D.D. Hunter
"Kill it, Grill it, Repeat."

photo by Tom Holoubek

ON E-BAY RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

2008-05-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

Bid on the BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE to the Stateline Divas next Home Bout!This VIP package includes: (4 available)*2 tickets to the ROLLER DERBY! *2 of the best seats in the house on the third turn in comfy chairs/couch w/ your own table and roped off seating next to the roller girls.*VIP treatment *Pizza and pop*2 Diva T-shirts signed by all the Divas*4 Stateline Roller Derby Diva buttons* The undying love of all roller girls and the envy of hundreds!!!

Tickets must be picked up at will call the day of the event.

Questions can be directed to info@statelinedivas.com

GO NOW...before we sell out!!!

May 3rd 2008 Stateline Divas vs Chicago Outfit

2008-05-06T07:39:00.000-07:00

Yes we are stinking insane with the love of roller derby, we played last weekend and this weekend. That's just how much we love it and we are playing again in two more weeks on Memorial Day Weekend.

We want to give a big thank you to The Chicago Outfit for inviting us to play in their season opener and congratulate them on their huge win (I think it was like 165 to 16). We played an intense, hard hitting game to a sold out crowd in Logan Square. We were proud to be a part of Chicago Roller Derby History! And and huge thanks to the Rockford Rage for sending us Breetlejuice & Dead Boy last minute and the Quad City Rollers QC Banshee, Busty Assfault and Doom Kitty (last weekend). We really appreciate it.

This next home bout will probably sell out and there is only one more home bout this season after this one so get on the website and get your tickets! http://www.statelinedivas.com/ click on BUY TICKETS NOW! We'll be auctioning tickets to the Diva Den on E-bay starting this week too - if you win you can get the VIP treatment!

I hope to see you on the 24th!

Mad Derby love,

Bombadee #00

04.26.08 Mid- Iowa Rollers vs Stateline Divas

2008-04-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

We want to give a big thank you to the Mid Iowa Rollers for Saturday night and congratulate them on their win. The final score was 115 to 87 and it was hard fought. We had a blast, thanks for the match up ladies; we look forward to a rematch in Beloit, WI May 24th. Tickets go on sale May 1st and we expect they'll sell out so mark your calendars derby fans!

Can't wait until then? Check us out against the Chicago Outfit May 3rd in Chicago!

Mad Derby Love,

The Stateline Roller Derby Divas

Spring Sting

2008-04-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

We have lots happening in the next three weeks. Including 2 bouts! So get your road trip cooler out and join us. We have new skaters on the track and still some injured so we'll have a couple of ladies from Quad City Rollers throwing hip checks with us in the next few weeks. Our fearless President Stiletto Steel, broke her arm during a scrimmage just a few weeks ago ( and walked around like that for two weeks before they found the break) and she can only flip people off with one hand now - it's making her crazy. You can drop her a get well card on myspace here

April 19 Diva Party with 12 Pack Pretty @ Take 20

April 26 Divas vs. Mid-Iowa Roller Girls at Des Moines, IA

May 3 Divas vs. Chicago Outfit at Chicago, IL

Mad Derby Love,
The Stateline Divas

PS Congratulations to one of the Diva's cofounders Sandra D. Molisher who tied the knot in Fiji. We wish she and Mr. D. Molisher all our very best.

Party On!

2008-03-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

The Southwest Missouri Rollergirls asked to cancel the March 29th match-up with the DiVAS. Due to our injuries, we welcomed the break, however there will still be an after-bout party! (Did you really think we would cancel a party?!) Get your cowboy hats on and we'll see you there!

03.09.08 Flint City Derby Girls Scrimmage

2008-03-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday night some of the Divas traveled up to Flint MI to participate in the Flint City Derby Girls Scrimmage and Recruitment Event:

I haven't heard how it went yet though I'm sure it kicked ass and today I got a glimps at our very own Jackie O'No jamming in Flint. Vamp Helsing is in there holding that inside line right up until Jackie needs to get through, freaking beautiful ladies! -Bombadee #00

Diva Girls 1

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Kalamazoo Kamikaze's Danger Dames vs. Stateline Roller Derby Divas 02.23.08 the long and complicated version.

2008-02-24T22:31:00.000-08:00

In the days leading up to the bout, Annsanity and I must’ve made more than 200 phone calls and e-mails to each other confirming will call tickets, last minute uniforms, bleachers, lineups and who was picking up whom before the bout. She once said to me “It’s like a wedding only with a better party afterward” and she was right, roller derby production is one of the biggest parties I will ever throw in my life and we’ve volunteered to do it at least TWICE this season.

The problem is there is a period of time right before a bout when people freak out. Skaters want extra tickets for their cousin’s friend form out of town’s daughter, they want to know how often they will play in the bout and how the line up looks, where the handicap parking will be and if we’ll have buttons and t-shirts in an XL. From Friday afternoon until Saturday at 2:00PM my two phones rang nonstop.

Our very good friend Bob Noxious of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls had to announce for his own league on Saturday and so he landed D’Nouncer Duane from the Kansas City Roller Warriors to take a train out via Brown Paper Tickets and announce for us. We got him together with Big Poppa Razzi from Detroit Derby Girls and our own announcer Sac Scratch for some of the best announcing I have ever heard. We knew it would be a challenge as this was Beloit’s first ever all women’s flat track roller derby in the history of ever and fans didn’t know the game much less, penalties or points but by the third period I heard little ol’ ladies screaming from the bleachers “Go! Go! Go! Knock her down and take the inside!” and I know that was a direct result of our announcers educating and getting the crowd involved.

This after our scheduled national anthem musician Dr. Lucky blew his amp while warming up leaving us with twenty minutes before bout time to find a copy on CD or get our already nervous team out there to sing. Luckily the local Shopco had a version and unluckily it was the four and a half minute Jimi Hendrix version. Three minutes into the Hendrix version nervous twitters erupted from our team while we wonded if it would ever end. Poor DJ Daddy Dan totally was chewed out by an old army fella in the crowd for playing “that bull-shit hippie version…” and “how dare he?” On the other hand my dad thought it was “real groovy” that we used the Jimi version, so I suppose it balanced out.

Breaksk8 Wisconsin did a wonderful job during the last break keeping the audience entertained while we all used the facilities and hugged our dads and kids and chugged water. Those skaters did things I wouldn’t dare try without at least a mouth guard in and they did it wearing hip clothes and baggy pants. I didn’t get to see their whole show because I had to use the facilities and hug my dad and my kid and chug water, but I heard such great things that I can hardly wait to see it on the video. And yes, they did stand on their heads and do all that fancy breakin’ stuff on skates.

So back to when the bout started, we kicked off that first line up with our strongest players, including some of the one’s we had to borrow. You see, of our original 17 bout ready skaters bound and determined last fall to form this travel team; two retired because of… well… life and 6 have injured themselves during practice or bouting in the last couple of months. Annsanity sprained her knee, Boom Boom Martini broke her ankle, Constance Chaos sprained her ankle, Stiletto Steel tore her rotator cuff, Subpoena Envy broke her leg in two places and Vamp Helsing broke her knee cap.

This left us with sponsors and ticket holders waiting for a bout and only 9 hopeful skaters still able to step on the track. You have to have twelve to even hold a bout and so what did we do? We borrowed. Mad Rollin’ Dolls had their own bout to worry about and besides they are iconic and experienced and amazing in every way it hardly seamed fair to try to borrow players against the Kalamazoo Kamikazes who just finished their first season. This was supposed to be a first season bout so we looked to Milwaukee’s Brewcity Bruisers who just finished their second season for help. Brewcity embraced the opportunity and sent us Bootsy Call, Fidela Castrate, Grace Killy, Milwaukee’s Breast, Moby Nipps and Servin’ Justice to come and practice with us in preparation for possible borrowing. Kalamazoo looked at the new roster before ok-ing the line up and planning the trip out. We ordered extra uniforms and when Saturday rolled around, even though Gracy Killy was ill, we had enough skaters to step on the track.

Here’s the thing; last month we went to Kalamazoo for our first official bout ever and got slaughtered 22 to 224. We were blind sided, from the beginning we couldn’t keep up and once we finally did we were so out of breath we could barely throw or take a hit. They had a strategy and skill working for them and we had only heart and brute force. In watching the tapes back, we were all in my living room screaming at the TV screen “Why aren’t we…. (insert strategy that should be obvious here)…!!!” It was the best thing that ever happened to us. Immediately after that first giant loss with K-zoo everyone was showing up to every practice and asking “What can I do better?” it was the kick in the ass we needed to pull together as a derby team. Sure, we had proven we could skate together and collect canned goods for our local food pantry but we hadn’t really thought about how to pair up to dominate the front of the pack yet or for that matter the difference between offense and defense and when to yell it.

When we reached out to our more experienced sister leagues they came to our rescue. The Mad Rollin’ Dolls sent the Unholy Rollers down for a scrimmage and showed us as much as our brains and bodies could handle and then the Brew City Bruisers drove down in the snow storm of the year to run drills with us. We absorbed every piece of information we could in that four weeks between the first match up in K-zoo and this last Saturday. Really we knew we couldn’t bear to get our asses handed to us again in front of our moms, neighbors, sister leagues and local fans. It paid off, we didn’t win but we didn’t let them mop the floors with our butts like the first time either.

The theme of the whole bout was to slow the pack down so we could execute some of the strategies we actually learned. We knew we didn’t have the same speed or endurance and our only hope was to out-strategize them. We did this by either holding back one of their blockers with our four blockers making the rest of them screaming out twenty feet ahead of the pack and technically out of play/unable to block or assist OR our pivot (the blocker in the front with the striped helmet) and another skater got in front and positioned their booties in the way of the entire pack causing everyone to slow down.

The first time I caught the score from the bench in the first period and it was 5 to 15 as opposed to 3 to 65, I knew we had moved far away from were we were four short weeks before. In front of a sell out crowd, we scrambled and tore through the pack holding hands and shouting directives, revitalized by each other, our Brewcity sisters and our home crowd. Though I think it was the third period before we managed to seize lead jammer, it was the boost we needed to grab it a few more times and pull out some great hits and score more points. In the end we were beat 158 to 54 (a reduction of their total points scored by 30% and an increase in our points scored of 50%) but we never lost heart, never played dirty and loved every single second.

The after bout party was a wonderful chance to hear what our more experienced referees thought of our play. Machete Holiday (everyone’s favorite referee) Swingwreck and JC Chaotic who drove in from Milwaukee, Trickless Magician who came from Kalamazoo and Master Baker from Grand Rapids confirmed; we are moving forward by leaps and bounds. Kalamazoo even admitted they were impressed by the way we stepped up our play in just four weeks and if it weren’t for those great ladies skating against us we never would have. Although I’m still not sure if Lady Hawk is an actual woman or an apparition whose only goal on this planet is to skate past me when my head is turned the other way, the whole game does seem a little more in focus for all of us now and we have the Kalamazoo Kamikazes to thank for that.

This truly was the best inaugural home bout we could’ve hoped for and we look forward to getting our injured back on the track and kicking some butt in the coming months.

A sincere thank you to everyone involved in roller derby in any way, I wish I could convey just how this all means to me.

Love,
Bombadee #00

02.23.08 bout pics

2008-02-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

It's Officially SOLD OUT!

2008-02-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

The first home bout sold out today.