SPANKING MINNESOTA

After The Party

2009-11-16T10:58:00.002-06:00

".....and then he spanked me!"

Because sometimes you've just got to tell someone.........

Veteran's Day

2009-11-11T10:00:00.004-06:00

I hope for nothing

I fear nothing

I am free.....

(Nikos Kazantzakis)

As we celebrate this Veteran's Day, let us remember those who served....and are currently serving.....to guarantee that freedom.

Let's Make A Deal

2009-11-09T09:08:00.001-06:00

"I'd like what's behind Door Number One....."

(As with all other Photo Fun posts....feel free to make up your own caption!)

Non-Post

2009-11-03T13:12:00.002-06:00

This is not a post.......not really.

I've been busy with other things lately, which has cut into my blogging time. On top of that, I've also been feeling somewhat uninspired. Neither situation should last much longer, but between the two of them, they've managed to keep blog updates to a minimum.

So, as I said, this is really sort of a non-post--which is still better than compost, though not by much.

I think I'll go have lunch at the 50's Grill in Brooklyn Center. It's an old-fashioned malt shop-type of place, and the food is solid. I especially like their Bacon-Cheddar burger. They make their own buns and rolls on the premises, which really adds to the taste.

Yeah, there's nothing like good buns.......

Weather Report

2009-10-28T13:08:00.005-05:00

It's getting to be that time of year in Minnsota--Fall. Blustery days, "high" temperatures in the low 40's (or worse), the threat of snow in the near future. There's not a lot to like, weather-wise. Still, Fall is one of my favorite times of year.

I just love windy days..... :-)

Disney Is Not Amused

2009-10-22T01:31:00.006-05:00

This has nothing to do with spanking, but I couldn't pass it up.

Okay--so, you're a beer company in Australia, and you have a product that you want to sell--Jamieson's Raspberry Ale. in spite of the presence of fruit in the name, you want to get across the idea that this still is beer, not some fruity soda-pop-type concoction. You want the serious beer drinkers out there to know this isn't Kool-Aid--in fact, it's anything but sweet.

So, how do you get the point across?

The Foundry, the ad company charged with creating the compaign, did it this way:

Yes, it's "Ho White and the Seven Dwarves".

The Dwarves were also renamed, supposedly to represent various types of drinkers. So, instead of Sleepy, Happy and Doc, these Dwarves are named Filthy, Smarmy and Randy.

I did some quick searching trying to come up with all seven names, but didn't have any luck.

In what is probably a vast understatement, after the ad came out the company said that it had "a little bit of contact" with Disney. I'm sure it comes as no surprise to anyone out there that the website for the product, anythingbutsweet.com, has apparently been disabled. I think it's safe to assume that all advertising featuring the image has been pulled, as well.

Disney has officialy released no comment.

One paper that featured the story ran a poll asking if people were offended by the ad. The last time I looked, 25% said yes, this was a terrible way to treat a Disney Princess and 75% said they weren't offended, they thought it was funny.

Count me among the 75%.

I Feel A Song Coming On

2009-10-20T01:56:00.003-05:00

It's been a while since I've done a song parody. Now seems as good a time as any to rectify that situation.

So put on your false beards, your cheap sunglasses, your spinning guitars and crank the volume on the amps up to 11! This one is done to the tune, "Sharp-Dressed Man", by ZZ Top. Feel free to play the song in the background and sing along--
============================

Stern look

He scolds

She pouts when he says that "You're not too old"

Hairbrush

In view

She knows exactly what he's gonna do

Yeah she's in trouble, gonna pay for her pranks

But every girl's crazy 'bout a man that spanks

Rolls up

His sleeve

He sits and puts her right across his knee

His palm

Descends

She promises that she will make amends

He pulls her skirt up, gives her panties a yank

Yeah, every girl's crazy 'bout a man that spanks

Can't think

Can't speak

The spanks fall quickly dancing cheek to cheek

It stings

It burns

She can't escape because he holds her firm

And when it's over she will show him her thanks

'Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a man that spanks

Photo Caption Time

2009-10-16T06:37:00.010-05:00

"You realize that they're going to be pissed. If we take off their blindfolds and untie them, they're probably going to spank us!"

'You're right...........................let's untie them!!"

4th Annual LOVE OUR LURKERS Day

2009-10-13T02:08:00.003-05:00

It's that time of year again. Spanking blogs all over the net are going to proudly proclaim that fact that we.......

The people who come to read and look at what we post are the lifeblood of every blog out there. Yes, we love it when you leave comments--but we know the majority of people don't, for a variety of reasons. That's fine--you have every right to make that choice. It doesn't mean that we appreciate you any less.

But we do pay attention to you. We can see by the numbers how many people actually come by and take a peek at our efforts. (In the case of this blog, that comes to slightly over 339,000 of you since I started writing in January of 2007.) It's easy to tell by how many of you come by which posts you enjoy and which ones are less successful. We try to make our blogs into something that you will want to come and visit. You may not leave a comment--but you are taken into account nonetheless.

So this is our day to show a little blog love to everybody out there who drops in to peruse a post or a few paragraphs. To all of you we say, "Thanks".

And this is the day that we encourage all of you--for at least this one day--to speak up and say what's on your mind. We urge you to break your lurking status just this once and leave a comment, even if it's just to say, "hi", or to tell us where your from, or what you like/don't like about the blog. It's your forum, and I, for one, am happy to turn it over to the silent majority in honor of this day.

We do love our lurkers--and on this day, we turn the comments section over to you. Feel free to drop me a note!

'Cause like all the other bloggers out there....I love my lurkers, too!

New Look

2009-10-10T14:19:00.002-05:00

Okay...I've changed my Avatar--the little picture that goes with my profile. Anyone paying attention to the Major League Baseball playoffs will understand why.

I'm only sorry I don't have this picture of Cartman in a Twins uniform. :-)

I'll be changing the picture back to something else on Monday...or maybe Tuesday....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARZ! (No, Not The Planet...)

2009-10-09T02:14:00.007-05:00

This post will be a slight departure from the normal fare as I take the time to wish Marz a very "Happy Birthday".

Who is Marz, you ask? The short answer is that he's a fellow Minnesotan and a fellow enthusiast of This Thing We Do. As far as I'm concerned, that's reason enough to send him best wishes for a happy day of celebrating from me and my friends--and by "my friends" I mean these completely random pictures of women in various stages of undress that I found on the Internet--like these:

And these:

Some famous (and not-so-famous) people who share their birthdate with Marz--

Eddie Guerrero--popular Pro Wrestler with the WWE

Bruce Catton--noted historian and author

Brian Lamb--co-founder and CEO of C-SPAN

Aimee Semple McPherson--Pentecostal radio Evangelist

Jacques Tati--French director who wrote and starred in "Mr. Hulot's Holiday"

Zachery Ty Bryan--played son Brad on the TV show "Home Improvement"

Brandon Routh--played Clark Kent/Superman in the movie, "Superman Returns"

Steve Burns--Co-creator and original host of the Nickelodeon show, "Blues Clues"

Tony Shaloub--Emmy award-winning actor who stars as the obsessive compulsive detective on the TV show "Monk"

Scott Bakula--star of TV shows "Quantum Leap" and "Star Trek: Enterprise"

Sharon Osbourne--wife of rocker Ozzy Osbourne

Jackson Browne--musician and songwriter; wrote "Running On Empty"

John Entwistle--Bassist for The Who

John Lennon--singer, guitarist and songwriter for The Beatles (like I really needed to explain who he is)

So have a Happy Birthday, Marz, and I hope you have a wonderful day and that it leads into a wonderful year for you. But don't let the celebration get too crazy--we all remember the scene the next morning from last time:

If you know Marz--or even if you don't know Marz--leave him a "Happy Birthday" message as a "comment". I'm sure he'll enjoy reading them. Or just send him a birthday wish mentally. The Universe has an excellent message delivery system.....

Keeping Up With The Spankos

2009-10-08T01:33:00.003-05:00

After watching a bit of television the other day, the question that comes to my mind is this: Is Khloe Kardashian a spanko?

Probably not, but after watching her and her sisters, Kourtney and Kim, on Keeping Up With The Kardashians and the latest series, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, I can't help wondering just a little.

Kim is the best known of the 3 sisters, thanks to her Playboy pictures and her impressive booty (I actually think it's a law that you can't mention Kim Kardahsian unless you include a reference to her derriere). Khloe and Kourtney are both getting to be better known in their own right--you may have seen the shoot that Khloe did for PETA:

All three sisters are lovely, and their bottoms would be coveted by spankers everywhere. But after seeing episodes of their shows, it looks like the majority of smacking is being done by Khloe herself, and Kourtney seems to be her favorite target.

At least once in each of the first two seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, we've seen evidence of this. I recall one episode where Khloe was dragging Kourtney across the floor, eventually working her pants down, and then finished things off with a big smack to Kourt's backside.

In the opening episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, we see the two sisters having a discussion that ends with a high five--but Khloe, with a devilish gleam in her eye, takes hold of Kourtney's hand and slowly pulls her sister toward her, briefly getting her in a darn near perfect "bottoms up" position. Kourtney, being no fool, immediately turns over onto her left side. We then see Khloe hook Kourt's leg, turning her back over face down and buns up. Sadly, the scene cuts away before we see what happens next, but--speaking as a spanker with 20+ years of experience--I sure know what I expected to follow.

Later in the series, when Khloe learns that Kourtney is getting togther with an ex-boyfriend, Khloe gets Kourtney face down, flips up her skirt, and smacks her bottom (sorry about the picture being so small, but it was the only video-grab of the scene that I could find):

So--is it all just sisterly roughhousing? Or should Khloe change her name to Spanko Kardashian?

I leave it up to you to decide for yourselves....

General Housekeeping

2009-10-04T03:46:00.002-05:00

As happens from time to time, I've had to go in and change a few things on the blog roll.

I deleted the link to The Secret Life of Andrades Girl. I don't know what happened to her, but the blog didn't get updated for months, and a recent attempt to go there resulted in the message, "Blog Not Found". So it's had to come off the list.

There have also been two updates. Chris' Firehouse moved and is now Chris' Kinky Firehouse. Sparkle's blog, Life In Motion, is now called At A Kinky House, and Sparkle is now calling herself Serenity Everton. Why the name change, I'm not sure. When I first saw "Serenity", I thought it might be in tribute to the Joss Whedon series, Firefly, and the subsequent movie, Serenity. But now I doubt it, and I have no idea where "Everton" came from. You'll have to drop by her blog and ask her.

If you're going through the blog roll I have listed and come across any errors, or find that blogs have changed or disappeared, please let me know so I can make the necessary changes. I want to keep the blog roll current and make sure anyone using it can connect with all the wonderful bloggers out there.

Or, if you're a blogger who regularly reads here and you make a change--whether it's a name change or moving to a new site--drop me an e-mail at DoctKen@aol.com and I'll see to it that your link remains current.

I'll be making some additions to the blog roll in the near future. Some were featured on Bonnie's My Bottom Smarts blog, and Brambleberry Blush posted a list of four interesting blogs not too long ago. I'll be adding some from each source, plus a few I came across on my own blog wanderings.

Happy reading!

Terminology

2009-10-01T04:10:00.002-05:00

There are many different words that can be used when referring to the female posterior. I'm content with simply calling it a "bottom"--especially when it's preceded by the phrase, "I'm going to spank your...". But did you ever wonder why they're sometimes referred to as "globes"?

Now you know.....

Some Friendly Advice

2009-09-25T02:35:00.001-05:00

And the #1 thing to never say to a spanker is--

"Oh, yeah? So what are you going to do about it?"

The Question

2009-09-23T02:38:00.002-05:00

Maybe it's the way you're rolling up your sleeve. Maybe it's the hairbrush in your right hand slowly tapping the palm of your left hand.

She doesn't actually have to ask the question. She already knows the answer as she watches you walk toward her. Still, you can see the question in her eyes. You can see it in the way her hands move to cover and protect her bottom, almost as if they have a will of their own. It's in her posture, her body language. She knows, and she really doesn't need to ask:

"Am I in trouble?"

I Can't Wait.....

2009-09-20T16:06:00.007-05:00

The new TV season starts this week (a few shows started last week) and I, for one, cannot wait for the return of those lovely, spankable leading ladies that I enjoy watching week after week. Oh, sure, the summer replacement shows and the reality shows were nice, but give me those actresses that I've already spent a season or more viewing--like Evangeline Lilly of Lost:

Or Vanessa Williams on Ugly Betty:

Eliza Dushku on Dollhouse:

And.....uh......did I mention Evangeline Lilly from Lost?

(Okay, I'm pretty sure this last picture is a fake. It's exactly like the first photo minus the underwear. And I do mean exactly. Still, it's pleasant enough to look at.....)

What television shows are you looking forward to?

Photo Caption Fun

2009-09-18T01:48:00.004-05:00

"LOCUST!!!!!!"

Celebrate!

2009-09-15T16:33:00.003-05:00

Today is going to feature a fairly lazy post--because it's my birthday today, and I don't want to spend a lot of time creating a post when I could be celebrating!

Here's a photo of some ladies celebrating a birthday appropriately:

Naturally, I'm a spanker, so I don't get birthday spankings--instead, I give them away to any lady who wishes to help me celebrate. So, if you'd like to volunteer........ :-)

The Top Ten List

2009-09-14T11:55:00.002-05:00

This post originally started as a comment over on The Cherry Red Report.

On Sept. 10, Dave of CRR put up a post featuring Kayla Quinn. In case you're saying, "Who's Kayla Quinn?", here's Dave's introduction--Kayla is

"a special celebrity guest columnist this week: the unstoppable adult film and fetish star, and also mainstream movie/TV actor, Kayla Quinn.
You may know her perhaps as the seasoned spanko “Ms. Law” on the spanking site Bad Tushy, and Kayla was interviewed recently on this blog HERE. A fascinating person indeed: she’s served in the Air Force; conquered cancer twice; cooks from scratch; loves beating butts; and lots more coolness.
Ms. Quinn reveals the Top 10 celebrities she’d love to spank some sense into–and why."

If you want to find out who Kayla selected, go over to The Cherry Red Report and read her post. It's a nice mix of male and female spankees. (And The Cherry Red Report is a great blog that you should be reading regularly, anyway!)

Dave then asked for reader comments, as well as asking what celebs might be on our lists. Naturally, I put up a response. Since we're this close to the new TV season, I based my list on current or former TV actresses. Some have gone on to appear in movies, but my selections were based on their TV experiences.

These lists of "What Celebrity would you like to spank/be spanked by?" have been around for a long time. Spankos always have fun dipping into their fantasy realm and seeing who pops up. And my list of celeb spankees is pretty much constantly in flux. If I watch TV or go see a movie today, my list might be very different tomorrow.

Here's my comment from CRR:

"I could name the actresses from 3 TV shows and practically fill up a list of 10--but I'll try for more diversity.

Bridget Marquardt--one of Hef's "The Girls Next Door". She seems like the most real and down-to-earth--plus, she's got a fabulous round bottom that just begs to be spanked. Sadly, I think she'd be kind of a wuss when it came right down to it--probably could handle only a few light smacks, at best.

Michaela Conlin--plays Angela on the series, "Bones". Very striking features--and a bottom worth striking, too.

Erica Cerra--Deputy Jo Lupo on "Eureka". She makes those khaki uniform pants look goooooood!

Pauley Perrette--Abby the Goth girl/forensic expert on "NCIS". Spiked collar and plaid schoolgirl skirt--she's like 3 different dream girls rolled into one.

Cote De Pablo--Ziva David on "NCIS". They're not shy about having the camera linger lovingly on her bottom in certain situations. Of course, after the spanking, her character could kill you 15 different ways with a paper clip.....

Sarah Chalke--from the series "Scrubs". Cute blonde tushy--need I say more? Plus, I think she's gotten a smack on the bottom at least once each season...

Alyson Hannigan--Lily Aldrin on "How I Met Your Mother"--although her being on this list is probably a holdover from when she played Willow on "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" (I have a weakness for redheads--not to mention red bottoms)

Christina Applegate--the star of "Samantha Who". Lovely comedic actress who should have been spanked when she played Kelly Bundy in "Married--With Children".

Helen Hunt--I so wanted to smack the seat of her sweat pants on "Mad About You".

Jennifer Aniston--still my favorite spankable friend from "Friends".

I could go on, but....well, that's 10!"

For the curious, the 3 TV shows I was thinking of would alone have given me 8 spankees. As it was, they did provide me with 3 names for the list. The TV shows were Friends (Courtney Cox Arquette and Lisa Kudrow to go with Jennifer Aniston); Bones (Emily Deschanel and Tamara Taylor, along with Michaela Conlin); and NCIS, with both of those actresses making the list.

Later, Dave of CRR was nice enough to drop me note thanking me for the comment. And, to my delight, he also sent me this, which I'm happy to share with you now.

Wow--my name in one of Dave's trademark illustrations. I feel like I've finally arrived! :-)

"Are You There, Spanking? It's Me, Chelsea"

2009-09-12T02:07:00.002-05:00

I had a lovely, long Labor Day weekend, made even better by a little spanking startle Monday night on the Chelsea Lately show on E!, starring Chelsea Handler.

During the early part of the show, Chelsea and her comedy panel were discussing a Cosmopolitan article that had a title something along the lines of "12 Taboo Moves To Drive Your Man Wild" (that probably wasn't really the name of the article, but I don't have it on tape or Tivo or DVD, so you'll have to be satisfied with my faulty recall).

In what turned out to be a prepared bit, Chelsea stopped going through the list of "taboos" and asked the 3-person panel of comedians if they liked to be spanked during sex. One guy pretty much flatly stated, "Don't touch my ass." The one female comic said no, she didn't like to be spanked during sex (the optimist in me notes that she said nothing about being spanked before sex or, for that matter, after sex).

When they turned the question back on her, Chelsea replied that she let the security guard spank her backstage if things were slow. They then cut to a picture of Chelsea bent over a table, ball gag in her mouth, a baseball bat over her shoulder (a different form of "ball gag"), her jeans down to slightly above her knees, with a large black security guard holding her down with one hand while wielding some kind of a paddle (oar? kayak paddle?) in the other.

It was totally unexpected and made me laugh. I've been looking online ever since, hoping that somebody had done a screen grab of the picture, but so far--nothing. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that the clip is on YouTube somewhere.

This is not the first time that the subject of spanking has shown up on Chelsea Lately. She got a whack from singer Akon during the interview portion of another show.

I do love it when the subject of spanking comes up in popular shows. With any luck, she'll return to the subject again and again......so let's hear it for Chelsea Handler!

Photo I.D.

2009-09-06T04:26:00.002-05:00

From time to time, people have asked me about the photo that's used in the header of this blog. The most common question, as you can probably guess, is "Where is it?"

The truth, of course, is that I don't know. When I started this blog, I had an idea in mind of what sort of picture I wanted to use for the header. I decided against using a spanking photo of any kind. I thought a nature picture would be better--something that sort of showed off the state of Minnesota.

I entered "Minnesota" into the search engine and started looking. It didn't take me long to find the above photo. It was pretty much what I envisioned for the top of the blog. Unfortunately, the photo I found didn't identify the exact location. That was fine with me--I wasn't looking for a particular place, just a particular kind of picture.

I was surprised when a lot of people starting asking, "Where is that, exactly?" I had no idea, so I told people I thought it was probably a stretch of the Mississippi river and let it go at that.

Well, one of my readers decided to take matters into her own hands. She did the same search, and obviously she was much more thorough than I was. She found the photo in her search, and she found a caption for it. So I can now finally reveal the location of the photo! Here's the caption that she found:

"The Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness is a paddler's paradise. Some 1,200 miles of motor-free water trails span the lakes and rivers of this million-acre wilderness."

The BWCA is in northeasern Minnesota and located within Superior National Forest.

So, a big "Thank you!" to reader Marie for finally solving that mystery. Now when people ask, I'll be able to give them a correct answer. And I especially like the part about it being a "Paddler's Paradise". Of course, I tend to think that of Minnesota in general.

Although, to be honest, I think I liked it better when I thought it was part of the Mississippi....

Thought For The Day

2009-09-01T22:57:00.002-05:00

A quote from one of my favorite authors--

"Be who you are and say what you feel......

....because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

-- Dr. Suess

Tuning In Radio Spanko

2009-08-29T01:02:00.004-05:00

My favorite radio host/suspected spanko was at it again this past week.

For those of you just tuning in--when I'm at work, I listen to FM 107.1 here in Minnesota. It's one of the few radio stations that I can pick up inside the building. And in the afternoons from 3 p.m to 6 p.m. I listen to The Lori and Julia Show. It's 3 hours of interviews, reviews, and dishing the dirt--mostly the latter. You wouldn't think I'd enjoy a show like that, but it's done with such humor that I often find myself laughing out loud--and I'm all in favor of anything that can make me laugh while in the workplace!

It's an unusual pairing, to say the least. The two ladies are actually related by marriage--Lori is married to Julia's brother--and they play off of each other incredibly well. Julia gets ahead of herself while talking, and constantly gets people's names wrong--I can't tell you how many times she's referred to Jennifer Aniston as "Jennifer Anderson". And Lori....well, Lori has a dirty mind. Somehow they make it work.

Plus, I suspect that Lori just may be one of us--if not a total spanko, at least one who enjoys playing from time to time. She's dropped the "S" word into the middle of talk-show conversations often enough to make me suspicious.

(Lori and Julia, the Drive-Time Divas)

This past week, they were broadcasting live from the Minnesota State Fair, and Lori brought up an article she had seen in the morning paper. It was about "ManCave parties"--parties with products for men (the paper cleverly called it, "Manny Kay").

Julia didn't think much of the idea, and asked what sort of products were for sale at these parties.

The latest in outdoor grills, Lori responded. 34 different kinds of bratwurst. A beer cozy with a pager that belches when prompted. And, Lori said, "A 15-inch square spatula--good for flipping burgers and spanking!" She then added, "That's how I'd sell it."

When Julia and Donny, the show's producer, continued to pooh-pooh the idea of men attending parties like this, Lori's response was, "All I'm saying is, everybody needs a good spatula!"

Ya gotta love the woman......

*****************************************************************************

"To answer your questions, yes, this the last of the coffee; no, I'm not going to make anymore; and why do you want to know where the spatula is?"

The Jessica Collection

2009-08-26T01:04:00.003-05:00

Today's "Spankables" are brought to you by the letter "J":

Jessica--

Jessica--

Jessica--

And, of course, Jessica--

(That's Alba, Biel, Simpson and Rabbit--just in case you couldn't tell!)